i'm a river enthusiast

an incorrect quotes blog for dream daddy. quote submissions and pictures of cute animals are accepted.

[river-is-daddy]

mary: you know what today is?

robert: *cheers glass* today is valentine’s day.

mary: yeah...

background music: 🎶 i love bad bitches that’s my fucking problem. 🎶

[river-is-daddy]

Idk if you still want these but

Here’s one of my dogs very tired and not noticing his flopped ear :)

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Another precious pooch. Beautiful!

[river-is-daddy]

hello, do you happen to know what happened to textsfromtitanfood? im looking for an ao3 fic they wrote, and im wondering why they deleted everything

Honestly I don’t know. I don’t really know much about them beyond being a follower of them here. 

[river-is-daddy]

damien: so... dadsona came out as trans last night and i realized something...

damien: before i dated him, I was dating another woman- we both identified as lesbians.

damien: then i came out as trans and consequently realized i’m bisexual.

damien: and now i’m in a gay relationship with dadsona.

damien: so what i’m trying to say is that i have actually been LGBT as a singular person.

mat: whoa... every single acronym? you know what that means?

damien: i have ascended and reached gay nirvana...

[river-is-daddy]

dadsona: i want to believe you're a libra but you're acting like a f*cking gemini right now!

mat: *gasp* don't you DARE sign-shame me!

dadsona: i'm sorry; my planets are in retrograde!

ernest: the stars aren't real and the earth's flat, you dumb fucks.

dadsona, mat: *chuckles* oh, leos...

[river-is-daddy]

dadsona: you ever go "fuck it" and slap your own ass?

hugo: ... excuse me?

dadsona: not in a horny way. more like a cowboy slapping his horses hindquarters to jostle it along.

dadsona: but in this scenario, you are both horse and rider combined into one vaguely stressed and very fast creature.

robert: yeah, but in a horny way.

[river-is-daddy]

lucien: *on the phone with pablo* ... just... get me on the phone with someone that can help me get out of jail, okay? i need to get out before my dad realizes i'm not home.

pablo: fine. *hands phone to ernest* ernest, you got a call.

ernest: this is e-nush. don't smoke bush when i got you the good kush.

lucien:

lucien: ...god dammit, pablo.

lucien: i'm in jail right now and and i'm talking to our drug dealer?

ernest: hey! i'm not just a weed dealer, okay? that's just my side hustle. my main squeeze is musical.ly.

[river-is-daddy]

robert: what the f-

dadsona: frick frack paddy wack, give the dog a bone~ keep it pg for the kids at home~

robert:

dadsona:

mat: wait, why is that a bop? hold on–

[river-is-daddy]

mary: i didn't get to where i am now by being a good person.

brian: well, mary. i'm sure you have at least something inside of you that says other wise. say, a heart for example.

mary: i had my heart surgically removed with my ovaries last july.

brian:

mary:

mary: *cracks neck*

[river-is-daddy]

robert: if we do this, we've got a success. i'll bet my reputation on it!

mary: sorry, rob. there's a five dollar minimum.

[river-is-daddy]

*some more cult stuff*

dadsona: i know who you are...

joseph: oh, really? what am i then? satan?

dadsona: no...

dadsona: you're the guy who runs into the 7-11 to get satan a pack of cigarettes.

[river-is-daddy]

robert: hey, i can cook.

mat: offering people gum is not cooking.

[river-is-daddy]

ernest: the more money i make, the faker they got.

lucien: ernest, we make 7.75 at jimmy johns.

[river-is-daddy]

*dadbook fun chat time*

dadsona: nose

joseph: wat.

hugo: Why did you type that, Dadsona?

dadsona: i just typed nose with my nose lol

robert: penis

joseph: did u just

hugo: *leaves groupchat*

[river-is-daddy]

hugo: okay, let’s stop using the term ‘butthurt’- we’re not twelve anymore.

brian: you sound asstroubled.

mat: a little bootybothered if you ask me.

dadsona: someone’s having a tushytantrum.

hugo: NONE OF THOSE ARE ACTUAL WORDS.

[river-is-daddy]

Haven’t posted music in a while but I like how calming this song is. 

[river-is-daddy]

... does anyone know what’s going on right now with Tumblr? I’ve been on hiatus for a while so I’m just curious as to what I missed.