liminalities

hello i am vanessa. studying for an M.A. in International Literature & B.Sc. in Computer Science. this is my semiactive studyblr in which i may rant about thesis insanities, exams, personal productivity, and general academia-related excitement 

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.

Me:

Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

Daughter: /nods seriously/

Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

[skiplo-wave]

The kids are right Jazz

[supreme-leader-stoat]

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.

Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

[brawltogethernow]

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

[riversrunningfreestudies]

sociology monographs: here is a complex topic. here is a systematic discussion of the historical development of its use. A,B,C. next is a more detailed overview of theories developed on it. 1,2,3. building on this, strengths and weaknesses of these understandings can be discussed. we conclude with a succinct summary.

literary / cultural studies monographs: here is a complex topic. author1 said something about it, referencing author2, who saw it in the light of x and y. later this has been reconsidered by author3. author4 reminds us not to forget aspects b, g and p as well. aspect p is a central focus of work1. if we consider the understanding of this concept in [different scientific discipline], it can shed new light on work2. work3 allows us to re-theorize the entire concept and maybe even the world itself. we know nothing. we know everything. what is real?

[academicssay]

relatable

[riversrunningfreestudies]

m.a. thesis update - march 31

i'm in the 'everything is very complex and the more i'm reading the more context i feel is necessary to fully understand this but also i know i can't put it all in so i'll have to radically select but i don't want to aaaaaaaah' phase of this project

i'm actually just going start writing all of my theory chapters even if i don't feel finished with research bc i'll never feel finished with research. i'm going full 'first of 1000 drafts' with this one bc i know the only way to actually get a hold of all this information and organize it is just. write. and rewrite. and rewrite.

[riversrunningfreestudies]

m.a. thesis update - march 15

writing time has begun!!! i'll be onto the theory for the next couple of weeks (i love theory so <3 big yea boy)

meeting with my supervisor today helped finalize a lot of the structure for these chapters and i really like how it's shaping up

i need to email the prof i'd like to be my second reviewer. i hope she agrees!

i also rewatched knives out and every single time i do i am more in love with this movie. it keeps being hilarious and fantastically written and shot and im just. its so great. honestly if i think of this entire thesis as just me writing the biggest fan meta ever on my source material it will practically write itself

[riversrunningfreestudies]

i've had citavi for one day and i already love it. man. the aesthetics of organizing information. blissful.

(i really think librarian would be The Job for me sometimes)

[riversrunningfreestudies]

m.a. thesis update - march 10

oh hey, i haven't used this blog since last summer! it's all good, times have been what they've been, which is completely off the rails. in the meantime, through a combination of brain work and maybe divine intervention (and mostly lots of talks with my supervisor), i actually have a thesis topic now! it is, broadly, about the relationship between precariousness and theatricality in contemporary cinema and it's a very cool idea that i want to turn into a very cool thesis

i already wrote a concept paper and presented my topic in class, which was great, but there's still some conceptualising to do. next steps i'm currently planning:

i'm looking at my document of sources which is already scarily big and chaotic and i am not close to done with research yet. i think it's time. it's time for software assistance. i'll look into citavi, i know it will take some time to learn but god if it can save me the stress of having to hand-craft the bibliography for this and lose every single one of my nerves in the process it will be worth it

for next week:

i need to restructure my theory chapter a little to include some additional things / things which add context to other things, and i just hope the order of the chapters make sense so they actually build upon each other. maybe it would be a good idea to rewrite the concept paper to include these new sources so i know the broad line of argumentation actually makes sense

i need to rewatch the second film and think about how the new stuff i've researched could apply to it. write down some more detailed notes. i'm excited for this!

[riversrunningfreestudies]

~summer studying challenge~

i'll answer the first four in a row to catch up to the current date!

1st July - What are your plans for this summer?

personally, mostly to get around a bit: vacations with my family, visiting friends, overall spending some much-needed time away from....the house. academically, i need to write one term paper, study for my computer science exams and i also really really need to finally get the topic for my master's thesis down.

2nd July - Do you have a specific goal for this summer?

to get to a place of feeling alright, mostly. like.....feeling some sort of consistency in terms of emotions and motivation would be nice

3rd July - Do you have a lot of work to do for school, university or your job this summer?

it's alright, very manageable i'd say. i'm mostly nervous about the thesis though. it's been a struggle

4th July - What is the most important task that you need to complete this summer?

the thesis plan! i want to present my topic at the beginning of next semester, which is in October. technically i would have a bit more time but i don't want to postpone it much longer. it needs to get done

[myhoneststudyblr]

It’s here y’all!!! The 2021 Summer Studying Challenge! 

I’ve literally been planning on doing this since my last summer challenge so i’m so happy to finally have it out in the world and i can’t wait to see what everyone posts and discover some amazing new studyblrs! i am genuinely so excited to get back to posting consistently and finally having the time to engage with you all after my exams so please get involved and give it ago! 

so without further ado, here’s all you need to know:

✨Info ✨

If you do the challenge, use the tag #summer studying challenge so i (and others) can see your posts

I will try to reblog as many posts in the tag as possible (and it doesn’t matter if you think they aren’t ‘aesthetic’ cause i will reblog them!)

This challenge will run for two months - from the 1st July to the 31st August

There are daily prompts for every day of July and August 

But, as always, I don’t expect everyone to be able to post every day so you can always do catch-up posts or answer the prompts in batches

Likewise, you don’t have to post for the entire period - it is completely up to you but i will be posting for the entire two months 

If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask!

✨Rules ✨

If you want to do the challenge, please reblog this post

If you do it on any other social media platform (ie. Instagram), please give credit. My Instagram is also @/myhoneststudyblr

The challenge will officially start on the 1st July, but if you come across this later, you can definitely start anytime during these two months!

✨ Prompts ✨

1st July - What are your plans for this summer?

2nd July - Do you have a specific goal for this summer?

3rd July - Do you have a lot of work to do for school, university or your job this summer?

4th July - What is the most important task that you need to complete this summer? 

5th July -  Do you have any special plans or activities for this summer?

6th July - What do you usually do during the summer? Is anything different this year?

7th July - What did you do during the summer when you were a young child?

8th July - What’s your happiest summer memory from your childhood?

9th July - Do you usually go on vacation during the summer?

10th July - What is the best vacation you have ever been on? (note: doesn’t have to be a summer vacation)

11th July - What is your favourite vacation memory?

12th July - What is the worst vacation you have ever been on?

13th July - What is your dream vacation?

14th July - Would you rather stay in one resort for a month or travel across the country for one month? 

15th July - Are there any special events for you in the summer? (for example, birthdays, festivals, etc.)

16th July - Do you have any summer traditions?

17th July - What is your typical daily routine in the summer?

18th July -  How do you stay motivated during the summer? (for example, to study)

19th July - Do you stay indoors or outdoors more in the summer?

20th July - Are you a ‘summer person’?

21st July - What is an unpopular opinion that you have about summer?

22nd July - What does summer feel like where you live?

23rd July - Would you prefer summer to be hotter or colder than it usually is for you?

24th July - Would you prefer your summer to be shorter or longer?

25th July - Daytime or nighttime – what’s your favourite time during summer?

26th July - Do your sleeping habits change during summer?

27th July - Do your eating habits change during summer?

28th July - When you hear the word ‘summer’, what is the first thing that you think of?

29th July - What colour do you associate with summer?

30th July - What would be your perfect summer day?

31st July - Would you rather spend the day at the beach or at the swimming pool?

1st August - What do you do when you go to the beach?

2nd August - What do you like most about the beach?

3rd August - What is your least favourite thing about the beach?

4th August - What is your song of the summer this year?

5th August - What is your ultimate summertime song?

6th August - What is your favourite summertime movie?

7th August - Do you read a lot in the summer?

8th August - What book are you currently reading?

9th August - What is your favourite summer ‘beach read’ book?

10th August - What TV show are you currently watching?

11th August - What was the last movie you watched?

12th August - What is your favourite summertime snack?

13th August - What is your favourite seasonal fruit to eat during the summer?

14th August - What is your favourite meal to have on the beach?

15th August - What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

16th August - What is the weirdest ice cream flavour that you’ve ever seen (and maybe even tasted?

17th August - If you could make up a new ice cream flavour, what ingredients would you use? What would you call it?  

18th August -  What is your favourite summer drink?

19th August - What is your go-to summer outfit?

20th August - Do you like wearing sunglasses?

21st August - Sandals or flip flops? 

22nd August - Do you wear sunscreen?

23rd August - Have you ever been really badly sunburnt? 

24th August - What three things would you take to your desert island? 

25th August - Imagine that you could fill a swimming pool with anything except water and swim in it. What would your pool be filled with?

26th August - Would you rather surf the waves or read a book?

27th August - What’s happening once this summer is over? Returning to school or uni? Starting something new? 

28th August - Have you managed to complete your main task and goal for the summer?

29th August - When you remember this summer, what three adjectives will define it?

30th August - What did you learn over the summer? (note: this doesn’t have to be academic-related)

31st August - What was your favourite memory from this summer?

✨ So this is the challenge! I hope that you will join in and enjoy doing it during the summer! Please message me or send me an ask if you have any questions about it or just want to have a chat <3 ✨

[Taglist under the cut:]

Keep reading

[moderngothicbooks]

I like these challenges, they help practice motivation and habit

Imma do it

[riversrunningfreestudies]

Currently writing a paper about empathy, politics and King Lear. It will be cool, I hope.

Being motivated during the pandemic has.....not been easy, at all, and it continuously gets harder. I miss the routine of uni life, the commotions on campus, the communal aspect of it, a lot. I feel like it keeps me grounded. 

But still, it’s good to be working on something in the first place. Just gotta push through. 

[riversrunningfreestudies]

new semester!

......i just counted and this is my 10th semester studying literature. my god. what is time

anyway, in good old tradition i’ll recount what i’m doing this time around!

seminar on ethics in 21st century literature. just yes. i know that i’ll love this course. i can just tell

seminar on king lear and its reception.....because i still love shakespeare (duh), reception history is always interesting, and i like the idea of working with some older texts as a balance to the other seminar. also the thematic focus is on empathy which is very intriguing in the context of theater i think

exercise course on the human and the posthuman. posthumanism! finally! super glad i’ll finally get a peak into this subfield. another course that i just know will utterly fascinate me

then there’s the colloquium for master’s students which i’m joining for the first time! it’s basically about students presenting the concept of their master’s thesis & discussing it with other students (and our profs). i don’t have a specific idea myself yet, but i’m planning to.....hopefully have one by the end of the semester. meanwhile how cool is it that i’ll get to know everyone else’s!

and finally there are some nice lectures that i hope i’ll have spare time for (...i might not)

meanwhile in computer science:

course on human computer interaction, which i actually already worked through. whoops. before anyone might think i’m some sort of overachiever, i was actually doing it as a way to procrastinate writing a paper. (this is how i manage to get work done for both my study programs. just do one to procrastinate the other)

course on knowledge-based systems. i actually did this one already last semester, but i couldn’t take the exam. and i already forgot half of it but it was REALLY interesting. so i’m actually looking forward to revisiting it

aside from my courses at uni, i want to start teaching myself some more specific IT skills re: web development (HTML/CSS/JavaScript). obviously this is a much more long-term goal, but i already have some introductory texts lying around that i’ll look into!

[riversrunningfree]

annd i finally got a good idea for my next term paper

tbh i’m completely vibing with working with some 19th century texts again. everything i’ve been writing about the past year has been contemporary stuff, and while i do love being in tune with the times,……the times are a frustrating mess. i just need some escapism right now. 

it’s probably also related that i’ve (at least temporarily) exhausted myself on cultural studies. i still think it’s really interesting and important, but after writing my bachelor’s thesis and two other papers in the field, it’s starting to feel like i’m repeating myself - and there are so many more theories and sub-disciplines to get into & to gain new perspectives from. 

[riversrunningfreestudies]

it’s a new semester...

.....and the first of my master’s course!! yall. this is real. somehow time feels very weird to me - on the one hand i have the feeling that i'm still an academic baby and can’t believe i already got to this point, but at the same time uni is such an integral part of my life that i also feel like i’ve been here forever, and i’ve thought ahead and imagined a master’s degree for such a long time that another part of me also feels like finally, this is actually happening.

anyway, courses: 

one seminar on contemporary adaptations of Antigone, which unites two of my main interests: rewritings of mythology, and politics in literature. what could be better

one seminar on theories of popular culture. which, on the contrary, is a field i know pretty much nothing about, but am highly highly intrigued by

these are all my mandatory courses, and then i’m chilling at some lectures in other fields of study, as i’ve planned to do: i signed up for history of the 20th century and introduction to sociology

and i also got my job at uni, of course!

and in IT, this semester i’m doing: 

safety on the internet, which involves really interesting stuff like encryption and all that jazz

scientific methods of computer science. these are just basics that i think i’ll have no problems with

i had to drop the programming project bc of scheduling issues, but i’ll just do that next semester

and finally: 

because my computer science modules this semester aren’t that difficult (which will never happen again ), i also signed up for an online course on text technologies, which covers a central overlap of my two courses of study! i’ve long wanted to look into the field of digital humanities, and this is the perfect opportunity

here’s to a hopefully fun, insightful and productive semester! 

[riversrunningfree]

my work ethic

Day 1: procrastinating a whole day, literally doing nothing but sitting on the couch, being on the internet and reading

Day 2: feeling guilty for day 1 and starting to panic

Day 3: getting up at 6, working for side job from 8-3, attending a lecture and then spending 4 hours in the library doing uni work highspeed with 100% concentration. oh shit, it's getting dark already?

[riversrunningfreestudies]

update update!

after stressing myself a lot last week (we won’t talk about it), things are moving forward in very good & productive ways. 

All the preparation and conceptualisation for my bachelor’s thesis is done and approved - the only thing left to do is write! I’m super relieved and happy that I got the foundation down (which is kind of the hardest part anyway), and I’ve got a clear structure now to guide me through the writing process. 

But before that, got the ecogothic seminar to finish - presentation on Saturday and then the paper. The prospect of that paper kind of frustrated me a lot lately - I just didn’t find an idea that clicked with me, but my time to ruminate on it is very limited as I HAVE to finish it this month. I have to have August and September free for the bachelor’s thesis.

But I was quite productive with preparing the presentation today and I have an idea for the paper now too, which is interesting but not too out there (I can’t have anything too complex or research heavy for that one, it’s got to be manageable in short time).

[riversrunningfreestudies]

my bachelor’s thesis is on its way....

...at least in the very early stage, but yes, the topic is secured and it’s happening! i had my first meeting with the supervisor today and she’s a big fan of the general idea (yay!!!) - next step is to narrow down which specific theories i’m going to use, and going off of that plan the general structure of the paper. 

onward with joy!

[riversrunningfreestudies]

i FINALLY sent ~the mail~ re: my bachelor’s thesis

because i am the way i am, i did a whole 180 (well, almost) on the topic. something about the original one just didn’t seem entirely satisfactory, and i trust my gut feeling. the new idea is about postcolonialism and the uncanny and i love it a LOT, i just hope my supervisor will see it the same way (and i’ll be able to explain it properly). anxiously awaiting the reply, i can’t wait to finally pin it down for real

also going to prepare margaret atwood’s oryx and crake for my only seminar, which is nice bc i’d wanted to read it anyway and it seems to be full of interesting stuff to talk about!

also also....my new IT course (theoretical computer science) is actually extremely interesting and not as difficult as i thought. (yet....i shouldn’t jinx it.)