Rafael Española

[kveom]

(non-comprehensive list of ) favourite seventeen songs as of june 2020

insp.

[rj-espanola]

[rj-espanola]

Same scene. Different vibes. https://www.instagram.com/p/B8qgYLJhjRfggVu08IRNG22vrbBvxE5fwVjgyI0/?igshid=1wjud5prwceg9

[rj-espanola]

Photo credits and edits to me https://www.instagram.com/p/B8YvnuRBtrgqpnT4BgKX3pp32CAyBPXLMlX-RQ0/?igshid=1qjdq3j0mpen8

[rj-espanola]

And you thought, it was mutual.

I will never be sure of someone calling him or her as my friend. There were several moments in my life, when I thought we share the same thing, but of course, it wasn't. In this world full of expectations, reality hit me really hard. So, I decided, way back when I was in high school that - still - all the people around me will be my friends but ranking them up as my best friend will never be as easy as 1 2 3.

Well, after all, they say that the harder the shell, the fragile the inside is.

[rj-espanola]

“Come and join me, in my dream world.”

The twilight goddess of the online game Mobile Legends, Lunox, says how we should love our community and how MY ideal community looks like. While playing, the hero starts saying a little bit about her story. And with that, I can connect it to what MY ideal community or with the larger scale - country.

“I'm willing to sacrifice myself, for this world I love.”

The love for country that makes you want to sacrifice everything just for the improvement of it. The sacrifice of time, patience and even money. No selfishness and the humility is always present.

“Why does the violence never end?”

The protest to all the violence and the hate for it and the perseverance in finding justice is what our present world looks like. Wars and fights have been started all over the world and all over the communities that peace has been an abstract thing for us. Also, the violence never stops between people but within ourselves.

“Balance, is the only truth.”

Of course, I don’t want to leave the reality. MY dream world still looks like it. But with a lesser and controllable amount of negative factors that gradually tries to sip us out and finally drain us out. And last,

“You can't have order without chaos.”

MY imagined community is still a world of imperfections. After all, I wouldn’t know if it’s perfect or not if it has no impurities. And as a man who knows and wants to be in the twilight or in front of the setting sun, I still love my flaws and I would like the people in MY imagined community or country be like me. They would love their imperfections but their imperfections would never define them.

And as we pave ourselves down the road and make our own ideal and imagined community, I hope that happiness,love and unity would never leave us because in my own perspective, it’s some of the things that makes our ideal community an ideal, bright and wise community.

For you, what is your imagined community? 

And how would you make that a real one?

[rj-espanola]

small is great

Indeed, small is great! After all no one will have their very precious phones and computers if the great transistors didn’t happen. There are hundreds and hundreds of small things discovered that is still considered as beneficial and vital to everyone’s respective lives. I must say, in the most straightforward way, that we will not have this big and great things if we won’t have picked up the smallest of details that will build them. 

[rj-espanola]

inadequate

It’s the usual thing. Waking up, doing something not good enough and sleeping with a heavy heart. For me, that’s how life works...before. Feeling incapable of doing something makes your head goes dizzy and of course, disappointed. The disappointment factor goes twice -  one for being not good enough and one for the person you failed to meet his expectation.

For the past 18 years, I have failed numerous times. But the good thing about it is I have collected it and let it be something that will make me grow. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn”, my mantra in every failures I met and for every places and time I let someone down because of my deficiency. After moments of deep realizations, I will always try to make a plan and try to do it the next time I face the problem. Everyone is incomplete but it is our decision how to fill the gap and if we are willing to fill the gap. 

Failure to do something was one of the saddest things I know but as I grow, I have learned that this can be corrected - maybe not in an instant, but as the moment you decided to correct it. You will always meet these unfulfilled and unsatisfied expectations and recognizing they are present, the willingness to correct them and finding the most appropriate plan could later be the answer to your unending list of reasons why you are inadequate. Remember, being inadequate is good. After all, no one is perfect.