“ yeo ..” it’s the first time that they’ve seen each other since his elimination on the mgas and to yeosang, sia feels the most guilt. not once, but twice he’s gone through the pain of a survival show only to end up eliminated in the earlier rounds - unfortunate, painful, sad. she’s not really sure how to express the things she feels when she looks at him, but the chances that he doesn’t want her to look at him with pity are high. she’s trying not to be sad for him - trying not to think about the fact that he deserves the chance to do the things he’s worked hard for, too.
she wants to tell him that she’s sorry, but she doesn’t know how. so she doesn’t end up saying anything. instead, her lips turn down into a frown, and across the table, she slides to him a flyer with kt’s information on it in the hopes that he’ll keep it. it may be useful to him - maybe not today, but someday. “ keep it. maybe something good will happen, yeo.” i hope so. i want to see you with me. “ you deserve this, too. you work so hard, so .. please keep trying.”
“oh sia,” his tone is normal, there’s a smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he waves his hand in greeting. he blinks quietly as the sheet of paper is slid towards him, and he picks it up slowly-- the letters on the page jumping out at him. he blinks again once, twice, before his head lifts and his smile stretches wider, “okay, i’ll keep it.”
he folds it carefully and tooks it into his bookbag. and his hair is a little less unruly than usual, he actually found a clean sweater to throw on in light of the colder weather, and he took a few minutes to lighten up his under eye bags. overall-- yeosang would say he’s not doing too bad. so he hums quietly and focuses his attention on the other again as he nods, “i won’t. don’t worry. work hard, okay?”
● [ SENT ] don’t worry, i’m not THAT bad …… you know i couldn’t go a day without checking in with mom and making sure she’s okay /: just been busy, she hasn’t seen my face and has been upset about it, you know the deal
● [ SENT ] it’s .. different? what makes it different? how so?
● [ SENT ] sure. you wanna come over and listen with me or something? or do you want me to listen alone?
< ✉️: joong. >
( txt ) i know i know. just makin sure for poor auntie’s heart.
( txt ) uh... yeah. i would say it is.
( txt ) no no i really don’t no it’s okay- i would uh
( txt ) it’d be better if you listen alone but. uhm
( txt ) let me know as soon as you do? if that’s okay.
getting the chance to spend time with yeosang after so long is comforting. his time was spent with yoojung originally, sending a text to yeosang at first just to see if he was around or close by to hang out too. but to his surprise, yeosang already happened to be at coex mall for the tournaments, and hongjoong is a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see him compete before he managed to lose out. he doesn’t like the bitter feeling that grows in him that he’s never there for yeosang when he loses.
( and this is why they broke up. )
he pushes the thought away though, too focused on having a good time instead of worrying and thinking too much like hongjoong is known to do behind his wide and toothy smiles. yeosang is pretty like this, when he’s focused and doesn’t see anything around him until he manages to look around and catches hongjoong watching for the first time - and to hongjoong, the smile that yeosang gives him is like a light. it brightens his own, hand reaching out for the controller that yeosang casually passes him. “ you know i won’t say no.” he hums, a teasing twinkle shining in his eye. “ but you also have to know that this won’t be easy for you.”
yeosang probably looks like a mess-- but all he feels is happy as hongjoong aims that teasing jab at him. his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline and the corners of his lips quirk up just the slightest, “those are fighting words. i’ve been practicing! i’m a lot better now,” he boasts-- and he’s only half joking. if he had tried to play this game a year ago, he likely would’ve hit at least three passerby and/or tripped over his own feet at least like... five times.
but he can’t keep the grin from growing wider on his face as hongjoong takes the spot next to him. this is another memory to be filed away for later-- into a section of ‘happy’ reserved just for the simple moments like this. he’d missed spending time with the older male-- and his day off is getting better and better already.
he turns his attention toward the screen and hums as he clicks around, “what song should we do, hyung? go easy on me.”
here -- being coex mall for the game tournament. it had been a split minute decision, like many of his other ones-- signing up for a tournament. and a dance game, no less. he’d much have preferred ddr or pump it up, anything that was reliant on rhythm rather than actual movement-- but here he was, playing just dance. he supposes the real reason was his inability to just do nothing, and since the event fell on a day where he was off from all of his jobs ( ‘no, you cannot come in’ they said-- ), he figured he’d get out of the apartment.
and he was actually having fun.
surprisingly, he’d even won a few matches -- before ultimately losing, but honestly, he didn’t mind. he hadn’t expected to win... he was really just there to pass the time if he was being completely honest. he was sweating quite a bit, beads of condensation sticking his dark hair to his forehead-- and he’s a bit embarrassed as he finds hongjoong, blended in with the crowd watching on the side but still, to yeosang, he sticks out like a beacon. he’s holding the other controller with his free hand, a small smile present as he holds it out to him.
“i’ve got dibs on next round, d’you wanna play with me hyung?”
● [ SENT ] yeah, i’ve just been busy .. sorry i haven’t been around much /: even my mom is wondering if i’ve been swallowed by the earth or something l 0 l
● [ UNSENT ] i heard about what happened on the mgas
● [ UNSENT ] is everything ok? i miss
● [ SENT ] what’s up? how’s everything?
● [ SENT ] oh wait, really? i’m proud of you !! i remember when i was the first one to listen to all of your songs, now you’re uploading them in ~ style ~
● [ UNSENT ] i’m a little sad lmao
● [ SENT ] i won’t be able to listen to it until after i’m done with this thing at training. so it won’t be for a few days?
● [ SENT ] i can’t really tell you what it is but it’s pretty big ;;; i haven’t had time to do anything for like .. a month and a half
● [ SENT ] is that cool?
< @rkyeosang >
< ✉️: joong. >
( txt ) nah that’s okay
( txt ) oh man-- gotta text her at least hyung!
( txt ) everything is okay -- same old, you know.
( txt ) ah yeah, this one is a bit different-- i’m excited for you to hear it.
( txt ) oh really-- i’m excited!
( txt ) but of course that’s fine-- no rush or anything. just uh
( txt ) lemme know when you get a chance?
atlas: at last. ( prod. konquest, no:el ) //
new upload by atlas.t ( previously soundcloud user: kangyeos )
length: 3:18
[ song ( melody ) insp ]
“ love is now a stranger, though you seem like a stranger too
but i will protect our old memories, maybe i’ll get through to you ”
lyrics ? ( trans below! )
a standstill.
that’s the place yeosang feels the most familiarity. it’s the place he’s acquainted with the most-- always the place he’s used to being. it’s not the best place to be, but it’s not the most uncomfortable of places either-- he could do much worse. but at the moment, in the now-- he really, really hates it.
he’d tried really hard not to let the elimination get the best of him, tried his hardest not to let himself back into that funk. and he’d done well for the most part-- with the help of his wonderful friends who checked on him and made sure he was doing alright. he was grateful. even so, he’s ashamed to admit that he still takes his rare off days to curl up in a ball in the middle of his bed, covers pulled high over his overgrown hair. more often than not, his bed is littered with his notebooks upon notebooks, pages of half finished lyrics haphazardly falling off of the side of the bed.
it’s one night that he’s finally pulled himself together to shower before midnight at least- that a worn out sheet of paper, thumbed at the edges, catches his eye. he pauses, towel slung around his neck and dubu pausing haltingly at his ankles, snout curiously sniffing around his heels. yeosang leans down to pick the sheet up, teeth worrying at his lower lip as his eyes scan over the ink covered sheet. multiple lines are crossed out, there are ink blotches and margin doodles - the carefully and tediously written lines are half of longing, half of acceptance-- half of hope-- but full of love.
he carefully folds the sheet and tucks it into his tiny, beat up wallet - stashes it in his jacket.
and that’s how he was here, after a whole week of messing up that unassuming sheet of paper even more-- with his microphone set up, the beat that he’d originally chosen to go with pulled up. he holds the paper in front of him, stares at it before he exhales deeply.
and it’s a whole nother week after that-- after sending the track several places to be cleaned up, re-mastered, that yeosang finally... sets the file on his desktop screen. and leaves it there.
but today, he’s feeling particularly... okay. so he takes the file, drags it to upload-- and waits.
the progress bar reflects off of the light of his glasses as he sits there with bated breath, one hand nervously drumming on his tabletop while the other-- the other fumbles with his phone, thumb hovering over the locked and dark screen. the upload finishes-- and he gingerly holds the phone up to his face.
✉ hey
✉ you did well, hyung
✉ i don’t understand wh [ message deleted ]
✉ you didn’t deser [ message deleted ]
✉ why’d they eliminate y [ message deleted ]
✉ no matter what i still respect you a lot
✉ supporting #5019 always
< ✉️: bin. >
( txt ) ah, thank you binnie.
( txt ) i really appreciate it!
( txt ) hyung is cheering you on ^^
( txt ) and i’ll keep working hard too!
˟ mga season 5 … episode two // skill challenge.
trivia:love < 0:00 - 1:48 >
yeosang is feeling a strong sense of deja vu.
he’s been feeling it ever since he’d auditioned-- but he feels it strongest as he sits on the floor, in between the couch and his coffee table, dubu resting half in his lap and half on the hard wood floor. his eyes are fixed on the tv where he’d just flashed by in the blink of an eye-- and it was a weird experience as always... hearing his voice and seeing himself on tv.
there’s an odd mix of feelings, sitting heavy on his chest-- partial elation, partial dread, but most of all is his brain taking on that automatic response of kicking itself into overtime to figure out his next steps.
his hands absentmindedly stroke thick white fur, fingers scratching in between dubu’s ears as he lets out a long, soft sigh.
“alright, buddy... what next?”
every time yeosang thinks he’s all out of bitter feelings, he manages to surprise himself. and that’s the thought stuck in the forefront of his mind as he stares at the box next to his door that had laid untouched for the last two weeks, since he’d lugged it up the stairs on his birthday.
it’s become a sort of doorside table, actually, the cloth being one of his old jackets he threw over it and his keys and wallet and other random things lying haphazardly on the top. slowly, he walks over to it and removes his belongings, patting off the nonexistent dust. his fingers hover at the edges of the tape, eyes dull before his hands drop to his sides.
instead, he heaves as he bends over and picks it up, a curious dubu trotting at his heels as he kicks open the door to his room and carefully sets the box down by his closet.
it’s not much-- but it’s progress.
with one last look at it, he shuts his bedroom door behind him and returns to his living room full of his music sheets and ripped notebook papers of lyrics. but he sits down and organizes the last ones he’d been working on-- the screen of his laptop reflecting in his eyes as he finally decides on his song choice.
just like the last time-- yeosang wanted to do his best to capture people’s attention while staying true to his own feelings and his own sound. it’s not something he thinks people would expect from him--
but yeosang is tired of bitter. and this feels right.
...
even still... the day of recording comes and yeosang’s hands shake. his fingers are twitchy, his eyes are unfocused and his heartbeat is too loud inside of his chest. his solace is sia’s presence beside him, and the feeling of her hand warm in his whenever she can sense his distress.
and he calms down further when he checks his phone-- sees the last messages of encouragement he’d gotten from hongjoong. a gentle feeling of ease washes over him and he clutches the phone in his hand as if in consolation, thumb hovering over the blue and gray bubbles as the screen fades to black.
and he tries to focus more on the other performances this time-- not really to check out his competition and what he’s up against, but more to really gauge the other contestants’ talents, because he’s interested-- because he likes watching other people perform ( just... not as much as he loves performing ). even so, they go by quickly, and before he knows it, his name is being called.
#5019, kang yeosang, please come to the stage.
“my name is kang yeosang, i’ll be performing original lyrics and a remixed arrangement.”
yeosang holds the microphone to him, devoid of a stand for this particular performance. and he’s dressed more casually today as opposed to the all black he’d been appearing in for the past few rounds. in a white bomber jacket, black shirt, and light wash blue ripped jeans, he’s hoping to deliver his serious message with a much less serious vibe-- a song that’s enjoyable to listen to.
his head starts to bob as the instrumental begins, a smile on his lips from the start-- and he’s sure that this in itself shocks the people that have seen him perform before. he clears his throat, stance relaxed as he breathes the lyrics into the microphone.
is this love, yeah
is this love, yeah
sometimes i know, yeah
sometimes i don't, yeah
“the next line, what should i write? so many words are circling me, but i don’t like single one.” yeosang paces back and forth across the stage, his hand pushing his bangs out of his face as he delivers the lyrics clearly and fluidly through the microphone. his tone is firm but his expression remains unbothered, the tone and melody of the song contrasting with the heavier meaning lyrics.
and the story he tells this time is a vague one-- of a push and pull relationship between a mother and son without explicitly stating either role. it’s lyrics full of doubt but painted over this cheery, easy going vibe.
it’s a catharsis of sorts as he reaches the chorus-- it’s the end of his regret.
난 그냥 사람, 사람, 사람
넌 나의 모든 모서릴 잠식
나를 사랑, 사랑, 사랑
으로 만들어 만들어
“i live so i love, i live so i love,” yeosang bounces across the stage, hoping his energy is infectious as he rocks back and forth with the beat, moving his body with whatever feels right in the moment.
he dives right into the second verse, and this is the epiphany-- the second verse a tale of forgiveness, but cerainly not of forget. his expression is a little bit more solemn, and his movements have restricted to hand movements as he focuses on the judges fully-- he’d been glancing at them and the other members of the audience throughout the performance.
but he finishes his verse abruptly, like he’d rehearsed, with emphasis and ends with a final
“if it’s love, i will love you.”
his breath comes a bit harsher, the beads of sweat gathering at the corners of his temples as he fixes his eyes on the judge panel one last time. he bows his head down, microphone held tightly between his hands.
at the very least, it feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest. and he feels like he’s shown another side of him again, along with his display of skill.
he straightens up again, lips curling into a slightly shyer smile as he raises the microphone to his lips one more time,
k.yeos … hello! long time no see, once again, this is my one in a blue moon post haha. this time, i’m here to announce that i will once again be participating in the mnet global auditions-- please look out for me, #5019. to those who supported me last year, and even those who didn’t, please watch out for me kindly.
additionally, please show love and support for my friends: #5012 jang moonbok, #5026 kim sia, and #5039 seo changbin.
i’ll be sure to show as much as i can this time, i promise. thank you! - kang yeosang ♡
˟ mga season 5 … callbacks // interview.
-- mentioned by performance: @rkyuna, @rksuwoong, @hobirk established canon, yeo is Not good with names
-- mentioned by name: @rkxbin, @rkchris, @moonbokrk, @rksihyeon
“ah, another one?” yeosang says almost instinctively, not with any malice, as he’s directed into yet another room with a chair, some staff members-- and a camera.
“i should’ve expected this already, huh?” he smiles sheepishly, ruffling at his hair as he quietly sits down as instructed. honestly-- the day has gone by in kind of a blur for yeosang. sure, there were performances that stuck out, definitely. but, yeosang couldn’t help but daze in and out-- though he did try to focus on the other contestants as much as possible, not only to learn their styles but to see who he’d possibly be competing against, should he make it to the next round.
he settles himself in the chair and nods politely at the interviewer, who clears her throat before he starts.
q. “ so let’s begin. how did you feel when you received news of the callback? ”
yeosang blinks slowly, taking a careful breath in and out before he finally answers, honestly, “nervous.” he cracks a smile, eyes looking away from the camera as he rubs the bac of his neck. “excited, grateful, but mostly nervous. i didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself-- after all, i made it past the first round last time as well,” he explains-- his voice quiet but firm, answers clear and enunciated. “i knew i had a lot to do if i wanted to be able to pass this time.”
q. “ i see, then do you think you’ve improved enough to pass this time? ”
that question throws him off slightly-- he wasn’t expecting such a direct question, such a non-general one that he pauses for a beat of a second before he swiftly responds, “i think so,” and hurries to follow it with, “i’d like to think that i’ve improved in the year since i first auditioned-- so i would say yes, i believe i have improved-- and i hope it’s enough to pass.”
q. “ moving on-- what did you think when the judges were revealed? ”
“i wasn’t surprised,” he laughs gently. “since i’ve seen them before. but, it was interesting to see them again now that i have seen them in person a few times, not quite as nerve-wracking. i doubt they remember me-- but i hope i give them reason to this time around. that’s what i’m planning.”
q. “ were there any performances that stood out to you? ”
and yeosang was dreading this question, but it wasn’t unexpected. he did manage to think of a few that he could call to the front of his mind, luckily-- because he didn’t know how else to explain that he just couldn’t focus properly enough to have a concise answer.
“the uh... trap mix of baby shark was interesting,” he muses, “i.. can’t quite remember the name of the person who performed it, though, i’m sorry,” he bows his head in apology-- just in the case that said performer would see this, “it was attention-grabbing to say the least. they did a good job,” he finishes politely. “also... hoseok-- i think? his dance and rap had a great vibe-- it was easy and fun to watch-- he has great stage presence,” he hums quietly, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to give his honest opinions about the other contestants.
“the trot version of ring ding dong--” yeosang huffs out a small laugh at this, “i’m not much of a trot fan? but i think he pulled it off well-- it was creative and memorable at the very least.”
q. “ you’re mainly a rapper, right? did any rap performances stand out to you? ”
“ah... that question pulls out my bias,” yeosang admits with a sheepish laugh, “but also, i think it’s well deserved to say that for rap performances, i most enjoyed changbin’s, chan’s and moonbok’s. changbinnie performs almost effortlessly, and his song was a good, easy-flowing choice that i think a lot of the audience will like. chan-hyung was strong as usual-- that was to be expected. and moonbok-hyung... i like his voice. it’s nice to listen to and easy to follow and get into, even for people who aren’t too fond of rap-- i think that’s what his music sounds like.”
q. “ speaking of performances-- what did you think of kim sihyeon’s performance? ”
“ah--” yeosang smiles at this, wide and easy as he nods his head, “i didn’t want to just announce it and put her on the spot like that-- but i guess since you’re asking me, it’s pretty obvious that sihyeon is the friend i wrote my song for.” he nods again, curt this time. “her performance-- she’s been improving constantly, and i think she showed a great side of her musicality in her performance today. we’ve been friends for a long time, and i’m grateful to have her by my side for this journey this year. i’m cheering her on as well, always.”
q. “ is there anyone you are certain will move on to the next phase of the mgas, and likewise is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today? ”
“to those questions...” yeo deliberates before firmly stating, “i have no comment. thank you for your time,” and the interviewer seems to be dissastisfied with such an answer, but ends up waving a hand and giving him the okay to return to his seat.
and with a soft breath of relief, he stands from his seat and bows to the staff and the camera and straightens up with the brightest smile he’d shown since appearing in the room.
˟ mga season 5 … callbacks // performance.
be better :: 0:00 - 1:35
< note: 0:49 - 1:12 is rapping >
callback day comes much sooner than yeosang would have preferred.
stress-- stress is in the air all around. stress, and excitement. he is both simultaneously glad and extremely nervous to see some familiar faces surrounding him. he'd waved and nodded his greetings at the few people he'd known as he'd arrived, but quickly found sia and sua and took his seat with them.
his hands are fidgeting, playing with the zipper on his bomber jacket, toying with the rips in his black jeans, when are they not at times like this, but sia's presence next to him, as always, has a calming effect. even though there are far less people than the initial day of auditions-- yeosang definitely feels much more pressure, much more nervousness surrounding him, but most importantly, more desire to succeed. and he is no exception from those things--
any of those things.
it had been a rough two weeks.
yeosang had almost fallen off of the couch when he'd received the email, nearly startling poor dubu who was snoring at the foot of it. he'd read it over and over again, mouth forming each word as the words, bold on the lcd screen of his laptop reflected from his eyes in its glare. when he was positive that it was real... his brain began to conflict.
he'd hoped to make it to the next round, of course-- but his hopes had been the same last year as well. he doesn't just want to make it to the next round-- he wants to do more, he wants to show his growth. so his teeth worries at his lips as his hands lay idle on his laptop as his worries get the best of him. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath-- decides worrying will do no good. he'll just have to go for it-- he'll just have to do it, he'll have to do better.
he leaps into action.
the living room that had been finally been tidied up after the hurricane of the weeks before the first audition was thrown into a frenzy as yeosang immediately decided his best option was to pull out an old song and rework it-- he'd spent a good few hours flipping throuhg his notebooks of lyrics and finished, unfinished, barely finished, and barely started compositions until his frantically working hands had paused at a particular two sheets, paperclipped together.
his eyes can over the pretty-much completed lyrics, and the music behind it before he decides yes-- this is what he'd be working with.
he connected his music equipment, his mics, all of his software... and he began to tinker.
-
he'd had his backing track prepared and loaded onto his phone, earbuds blasting it on the way to the venue that morning as he stared out the bus window.
there's always room for improvement, always ways for it to be better-- but yeosang, at the very least, was ready for today.
even so, his hands twitch, back tenses, jaw clenches slightly-- all these little ticks as his name is called by a familiar voice. and he'd known he would encounter them again eventually, and he wished he could say it was less nervewracking the third time around. he hears sia whisper a quiet encouragement as he stiffly stands up from his seat and walks toward the stage. he breathes out slowly, head down as he steadies his breathing-- eyes fixed on his sneakers as they take one step after another, carrying him past other contestants, until the floor changes and he knows he's standing on the stage.
center stage.
and then he lifts his head, eyes devoid of any of the nervousness he had expelled on his walk up there. he fixes his eyes on the judge panel, his hand reaching up to shield his eyes from the light shining on him, eyes squinting so he could make them out for just a brief moment. he then smiles, politely and respectfully, friendly, as he steps back from the microphone and stand to provide a full bow for the judges. he straightens up and steps forward again, hand wrapping around the mic naturally, comfortably. when he speaks, his voice is soft and calm, but loud enough to be clear through the microphone.
"hello. my name is kang yeosang, 21 years old. for my performance today, i prepared a song written about a good friend of mine. thank you."
as with most of his performances, he closes his eyes, both hands wrapped around the microphone as the backing track begins. his eyes open when the peaceful piano begins to flood through the studio, and his hands tighten around the microphone, loosening again as he finally opens his mouth, a bit of rasp clinging to his huskier voice as it rings over the instrumental.
i’m walking on this street
can you hear that
이제 시작이야 나와 걸어줄래
he'd been doing a lot of studying in the past year-- and by studying, he's been listening to more styles of music, listening to a lot of different artists, emulating tricks and sounds that he likes into his own songs. he'd come to like rap-singing a lot, and was a lot more confident to show it this time around. he pulls the microphone close to him, practically ( but not really ) touching his lips as his eyes close again, the first verse falling from his lips smoothly.
일어났어 벌써 아침이네
날이 밝고 있어
he remains still for the duration of the first verse which has him partially singing-- no gestures, no movements, putting all of his energy into conveying the meaning of his song through his voice. that's the reason he writes them, after all-- because they mean something to him. and this one, specifically, meant a lot. the lyrics were written with care and continuous re-editing, until he was satisfied.
after all-- the song was about sia. sihyeon, who was practically his sister-- who empathized ( empathizes ) with him, who has accompanied him through every major part of his life, who is always there to encourage him and bring out his best. who was there with her that day, and who he hoped to encourage as well.
his eyes find her briefly in the crowd-- not that he can see her directly, but they dart over in her direction, lips curling into a gentle, easy-going smile before he straightens up again, hands gripping the microphone tighter and pulling the stand upright as he begins the rap verse.
this verse is stronger hitting-- if the previous one spoke about the comfortable, nurturing aspect of their relationship, this one is a bit rougher around the edges, meant to get across the hardships they'd experienced without going into detail about either of their stories-- vague but concentrated. and how they're stronger because of it.
his rap verse fades out with him practically on his tippy toes, tapering off as he prepares to sing again. and he relaxes once more, heels touching the floor of the stage as he takes a short but deep breath, the lyrics falling out with his next breath.
i can be better with you
how could I say thank you
no one can replace you
a slow inhale is meticulously taken, his voice softer now as the backing music starts to fade a bit as well.
you’re all that matters to me
how could I say thank you
no one can replace you
and the music stops there, but he hums a tiny bit before he delivers the final line in the resounding silence.
be better be better
be better for you
his head lifts once he's finished, the serious expression on his face lingering for a beat, for two. a grin then breaks across his face, partly because he knows it's expected, and partially from the adrenaline and the elation that always comes after he's performed. he drops one hand to his side, the other remaining on the microphone as he states into the microphone,
"thank you, again, for your consideration."
yeosang steps away, taking a spot next to the mic, both hands clasped in front-- and bows one final time.
✉ shit i’m late [ msg deleted ]
✉ happy birthday hyung
✉ sorry i’m so late, i don’t know what could have possibly made me so forgetful
✉ hope you had a good one
✉ let me know if there’s anything you’d like! anything at all
✉ even if there isn’t i’ll still get you som- [ msg deleted ]
< ✉️: bin. >
( txt ) ah- thanks binnie!
( txt ) not at all– it’s only been a day!
( txt ) i did, i did!
( txt ) mmmm just let me take you out for food sometime soon, hm? ok?
( txt ) thank you for the birthday wishes, i’m really really happy!~ ^^
he wakes up with moisture at the corners of his eyes. he blinks it away, reaching up to swipe at it, pulling his finger away to see teardrops. he sits up slowly, comforter crinkling around him as he yawns and wipes at his eyes-- getting rid of everything at once. patting around on his bed for his phone, he looks at the time-- and looks at the date.
"happy birthday"-- the first notification reads. from: dad.
he puts his phone on 'do not disturb' and slides out of bed to get ready for the day.
4:25 pm.
"good work everyone," yeosang bows his head to each of the staff members as they bustle past him, returning the friendly smiles and the cheery calls that were frequent after a finished shoot.
he's heading back to the dressing rooms, hands busy unbuckling the accessories hung on his pants when he's stopped by his agent with a wave of his hand.
"oh yeosang, you're in a hurry-- have some birthday plans?"
yeosang blinks at him slowly, smile frozen on his face-- "ah-- i didn't think you would remember," he chuckles, waving off the protests with good manners. "no, i'm headed to the noraebang to work today, they asked me to come in a bit earlier so i'll at least get off before midnight today."
the older man nods his head and claps him on the back a few times.
"such a hardworking kid. get home quick so you can celebrate with your family, hm?"
"...yeah i wi--""
and like the busy man he is he's off after that, leaving yeosang behind, the chain accent hanging limp from his fingers.
5:10pm
"ah yeosang," the auntie at the desk greets him as he walks into his apartment building, "a big package was left for you today, do you need any help carrying it up?"
"of course not," yeosang blinks at her and responds with an easy laugh, "i can handle it mrs. oh, thank you."
and so he puts his duffel bag on top of the box and carries it up the stairs, slowly-- it was hard to see over the large cardboard box. he drops it to the ground to unlock his door, breaths coming out in short spurts as his chest rises and falls, trying to go back to normal. he pushes the door open and manages to gently get the box inside with a few careful kicks, the door falling shut behind him with a soft click.
he falls to his knees next to it, elbows resting on top as he exhales a sigh. curious, and with a bit of difficulty, he flips the box until the taped paper with all the information faces upward.
to: kang yeosang, address: -------- seoul, south korea
yeosang stares at the tag for a few minutes, mouth parting slightly. his phone reminder alarm snaps him out of his daze and he's on his feet and in his room to get ready for work.
he leaves the apartment without another glance behind him.
11:50pm
soft yellow light flickers off of the walls, the shadows dancing across the white surface and bouncing off of the tables. it flickers off of the white cardboard of the box that had been placed carefully next to his door, but had not been touched since. his eyes are closed, hands clasped together on the table, soft fur tickling his skin and heat radiating from his side. he opens his mouth-- and he blows.
the light goes out.
yeosang stands up and treads carefully over to the light switch, flicking it up and squinting as light floods the small area of his living room. rubbing at his eyes slowly, he walks back over to where dubu is sitting and wagging his tail-- he barks once at him excitedly. a soft, fond smile lifts the corners of his lips as he sits back down on the floor in front of his coffee table, scratching the pup between his ears, "thanks."
he plucks the candle out of the small cake he'd picked up on the way back from work ( matcha and vanilla-- he wasn't much of a chocolate person ). he reaches into the plastic bag and pulls out a cup of whip cream he had requested, setting it down and uncapping it for dubu.
ruffling his fur affectionately and leaving his hand resting on the dog's back, he leans back on his other hand and murmurs,
he can’t say that the air around them doesn’t feel awkward.
his coworker, manager, seems entirely out of place in his messy bachelor pad-- what with his notes and papers and sheet music strewn about everywhere along with his various music equipment, mixed in with dubu’s toys. at the very least, he’d had the decency to throw all of his dirty clothes into his room and toss out the numerous empty takeout boxes and empty beer cans and bottles of liquor. even still, she sits amidst the chaos and it’s an almost comical sight.
he isn’t deterred though. and it’s very easy to ignore all of that, forget about it with his eyes locked onto his laptop screen, fingers fiddling with the buttons on his software and tapping away at his keyboard. and he tries to speed up the process as much as possible. at this point, he’s just making last minute adjustments and jotting down notes between the margins for himself and for jei. he’d arranged basically everything else the night before in preparation-- he didn’t want to waste too much of either of their time.
he hands her a finished copy with an encouraging smile-- nods at the papers as he sets up the microphones in front of her. “let me know if you have any questions okay? thanks for doing this, again.”
he mixes her vocals in once he’s recorded himself to his liking, asked for a little bit of feedback here and there-- and like that, the day is spent, and he saves the final copy with a triumphant click.
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