미안해.

you don't know how beautiful you are.

[rksihyeon]

rkharuto​: 

he supposed getting smacked in the forehead with a bit of scrunched up paper was one way to get him out of his head. before stepping into the room he had been a little lost in his own thoughts there, so he supposed he should be thanking her for at least bringing him back into present day. not that he supposed he really wanted to admit that he had just been daydreaming about everything and not paying attention. 

“i’m definitely sure that i am definitely fine,” he reassured her just one more time, smiling to try and prove that it wasn’t that big of a deal. “it happens, so you don’t have to feel bad about it or anything,” he was pretty sure he had accidentally thrown something at someone coming through the door before in his life. but if not, he was sure it would probably happen eventually. it was just one of those things. 

at least she was right about one thing, it did look pretty bad with how messy the room was. papers strewn all over the place and, from a glance, it didn’t see as though there was much rhyme or reason to where they had been tossed. “just so long as you pick them up and don’t leave the room like this, then it should be fine,” he doubted the coaches would appreciate the mess if it were just left like this. but then she said something which made him smile slightly. “yeah i know, but i am fine. i was just daydreaming about stuff.” 

when he reassures her again, sia stares at him for a long minute  -  deciding instead to just believe his words and nod her head.  “ if you’re sure ..” it doesn’t relieve the guilt from hitting him by accident, but at the very least it comforts her to know that she didn’t really hurt him.  though she supposes that this is a silly thing to feel guilty about as he’s telling her not to  -  it’s just that her own head won’t give her a break at times.

sia turns her attention instead to picking up the crumpled balls of paper that litter the floor  -  it’s not half as bad as she thought it was, but it is a little embarrassing to have company in the room and still have it so messy.  “ i know it happens, but it shouldn’t have.  it’s not like i’m at home alone.”  she turns to pick another paper ball up and sighs.

“ i won’t leave them, of course .. i always clean up my messes.  sometimes, writing songs is just.  hard work ...” she pauses, lifting her head up to him.  “ the words don’t always come out the way you want them to, i guess.  so then it turns into .. this.” sia gestures at the room, now at least partly cleaned from her efforts.  “ oh .. hmm .. well if you want to talk about it.  the room is free, you know.  i think i’m good at listening, but if you want to keep it to yourself, that’s okay too.”

[rksihyeon]

rkgray​: 

he feels a lot lighter since moving on from his s-pop mc position and handing it down to a younger trainee. sure, back then, when he had been introduced to this opportunity, gray had welcomed it with open arms, as it was like a rain shower after a year long drought. but even when the show had been fun and he thought he as one of the oldest trainees around was quite fitting to play a mom, things had gotten him thinking. during his soon to be four years of training under kt entertainment, this was one of the rare opportunities he had encountered and just a few weeks after becoming the show’s mom, he had been offered a spot in a boygroup line up. maybe gray had become paranoid after spending time trapped in the basement, but to him it felt like just simple exposure to the public before his debut because they failed to give him chances to shine before. gray wasn’t ungrateful. kt was the only company that had given him this chances after years of rejection, but he wanted to be more than a puppet placed wherever they needed him to be. he wanted to be a player himself, he wanted to be gray.

most people probably wouldn’t understand his mindset, which seemed complex and complicated. but to gray it was simple. if the paths that opened up to him didn’t felt right, didn’t felt like they were able to make him happy, he couldn’t take upon them. so he felt a lot better to be able to hand over the s-pop show to someone else. he was sure the second generation of mc’s would do a great job. maybe the viewers would be hesitant towards the new faces, but they wouldn’t be replacements. to gray, they would be more like part of a development process, trainees who would leave their colours and traces on the show just like the people before.

so, when sia who was one of the new hosts came up to him to ask him for advice, he kind of had a feeling what this was going to be about. smiling, he replied after turning around to her fully: “hello sia. sure, ask away! how can i help you?”

given the fact that gray seems as if he’s been through a lot the past few months, between the struggles with nsg to leaving his show behind  -  sia’s not really sure if it’s a wise idea to approach the older man about her concerns.  if he wanted to leave all this behind, maybe it would be better if she stayed quiet? would he get annoyed if she asked?  just because he turns around to face her with a smile doesn’t mean that he knows what her approach was about.  the last thing tha she wantns to do is to take away gray’s smile, mostly because she feels like it’s been rare for her to see.

they’ve worked together for a year now, and sia is fairly sure she’s only ever seen his brow knitted together as he frowns.

still, she hopes his mood is enough to save this conversation.  sia really doesn’t want to kill gray’s mood.  her smile is hesitant and she holds onto her notebooks a little tighter, bringing them flush against her body as she tries to think about how to word her question.

“ sorry. i really hope it’s not a bother!” she stumbles, wishing that she were smaller right now.  she feels so large and out of place.  “ but um .. well, i was wondering if .. we could talk about the mc positions .. i would ask aron, but he’s really busy and  -” it’s awkward for her to find the end of that sentence.  sometimes, she’s still not sure if talking to aron should be allowed.  “ i just want to make sure that i’ll be doing a good job.” and that he won’t be upset that it’s me.

[rksihyeon]

rkxrm​: 

kt isn’t the picture perfect company that they show it off to be. he had spent months suffering but simply kept under a brave face. the push back of their debut date initially frustrated namjoon, since that meant that everything was being pushed back, but back then upon further reflection, he was sure that it was the best way to deal with everything going on and it was extra time to get better at certain things. he knows that there’s not a lot anyone else could have done so everything just got bottled up and ended up exploding in a giant mess. 

as much as he’s more or less functional nowadays, he’s glad for the easy month in august, since for once they aren’t being judged or anything. for once they’re not being looked at with pity and disappointment. seeing sia down the hall makes him smile and he’s glad to see the girl. seeing his fellow trainees working hard and pushing themselves in pursuit of their own goals makes him happy and eager to work harder as well. 

“hey, sia-chan,” he grins, offering her a lazy smile. he laughs as she states that he’s really hard to catch lately. “well, practice doesn’t wait for anyone. besides, it’s been a crazy few months, so finally to have a chill month, is actually kind of nice,” he stated. she was a nice person, so even her presense was a nice change of pace to the dorms. as she asks whether he wants to grab lunch, namjoon grins. “lunch sounds good. where were you thinking?” he asked, grinning at her. the ease of august really showing itself in his relaxed mannerisms. 

she hadn't been talking to namjoon as regularly as she used to, considering his confirmation for nsg would clearly keep him busy.  it's something that sia wasn't really concerned with, because she thought at least, that nsg would be a good step in the right direction.  after all, they're here in kt to debut.  she thought a confirmation would mean that things would be almost smooth sailing after that.  judging by what jeongguk told her though, the little details that slip through the cracks and even what he told her in his silence  -  that was a view that was clearly naive.  perhaps things get harder after a debut confirmation.  at this point, sia doesn't really know what to think.

but at the very least, she can put on a smile for the members of nsg whe she manages to see them.  it's good to see namjoon at any rate, and even if she is worried about the members  -  at the very least, her warm smile is genuine upon seeing him in the halls.  for now, she decides to keep her mouth shut about what she knows.  after all, bringing it up will probably only cause far more pain than what she's willing to deal out.

 "it's been awhile." she hums back at him, nodding gently at his confession.  " i bet that the easy month is a little bit of a relief ... you've been working so hard, sometimes a break is really what you need to make sure you're working at the peak of your ability, right?"  she tucks her hair back behind her ear, nodding her head as he accepts her invitation.  it's good that he has at least a little bit of time to share.  " i'm not really sure ... i guess i didn't have a plan for today." sia says sheepishly, her lips curving up at the corners in a slight smile.  " do you have a craving? maybe we can find something to soothe it."

[rksihyeon]

taeminrk​: 

he’s in a strange state. it’s some kind of limbo, in between training for six years and debuting, in between friends coming and going, a constant state of flux and suspension in midair simultaneously. now he’s short two of his closest friends in nsg, still with no promise that their debut will never actually arrive. it’s some sort of nightmare, so why is he so calm? why, when his future is so uncertain– when everything he poured his entire life into is at stake –does he not feel anything anymore? maybe it’s shock. maybe it’s a defense mechanism. maybe he’s just numb.

he knows the other boys would tell him he doesn’t have to be strong for them all the time. aron and jongdae would, at least, and they feel like so much fewer than they once were. now taemin will debut with aron, and a group of people that feel closer to strangers than friends on many days. part of him wonders if he is just destined to lose the people he wanted to debut with. part of him braces for aron’s departure too, and for some reason, that possibility feels worse than not debuting at all. he knows they need to build their teamwork. without aron, he feels utterly alone in nsg, and it should change.

it’s all just so much, and he is so tired. for as much as he hasn’t blamed himself this month– for how much better he’d been doing in this area –he still can’t help but feel like a failure, grasping at stray threads, trying to sew something destined to fall apart back together over and over again. is that what nsg is?

no. he’ll still do his best. he won’t give up on nsg until kt tells him he should. even if he doesn’t feel close to the other boys, he wants to. he wants debut on behalf of the six years he trained here, but he wants it for the other boys, too. he wants them all to stand on stage as nsg, and for them to do so proudly. he’s afraid it’s too much to ask.

sia approaches him, and her voice shakes him out of his thoughts. he puts on a soft smile when he turns to face her, and it’s not insincere, even if it may be tired. “good morning sia-ssi,” he replies. she’s kind as always, even for as soft-spoken as she is. he’s impressed that even with his intimidating sunbae status, she still has the boldness to ask him to lunch; even more outgoing juniors may not have the guts. the smile reaches his eyes a little more than before. “sure. that would be nice.”

if he thinks changing up his routine will help, then maybe it really will be.

taemin's smile is soft and sia releases the breath she didn't know she'd been holding.  whether or not the smile means anything though is something else entirely  -  he could be good at faking it, like she is.  he could be putting on a brave face so that there won't be cause for concern.  kt could be telling him not to tell anyone else anything.  she wouldn't put it past them, especially since nsg itself is a big controversy waiting to happen from what it sounds like.

and considering the fact that the pair don't really know each other well, sia is led to believe it could be true  -  that he could just be hiding all the stress from her.  with all the things that jeongguk has been telling her about the way that nsg is going, and all the things that he couldn't really find it in his heart to tell her ... she wouldn't really be surprised.  and he did say it wasn't all his place to tell, and sia is smart and gentle enough not to pry into something that shouldn't really concern her.

so she's still unsure.  should she bring it up? taemin is one of the longest running trainees in kt, so surely it's a sore spot.  whether or not he wants to talk about it, like he was willing to listen to her when her world was crumbling before her very eyes around this time last year should be up to him.  

at least asking him to lunch seemed like the right move.  taemin seems to have warmed up a little at the prospect  -  maybe he was just waiting for a chance to get out into some fresh air, away from the ( sometimes ) confining halls of kt.  maybe it'll be easier to ask him then.  maybe she'll just let a sleeping dog lie, and instead try to engage him with witty banter that she may or may not even be good at.  all that she knows is that at least by the end of it, sia would like at least to see his shoulders a little bit lighter.  if she could help him achieve that, then she'd be happy.

" sure! let's go out somewhere for lunch today then." her voice is warm and her smile just as comfortable, tilting her head.  " is it okay to go out together in public though? you won't get into trouble to be seen with me, will you?"

[rksihyeon]

       ･ﾟ✧   9월EVALUATIONS          ∙∙        zodiac evaluation 、 misery business

the evaluation for the month was something that seemed a little difficult for her to grasp.  songs aren't really made with the zodiac in mind, to appeal to the type of person born under a certain star sign.  sia must say she's a little confused by the requirements for the month of october, but there's nothing that she can do about it except to hunt for a song and keep hunting.  that's all that there is to it.

thankfully, she knows enough about her sign to at least figure out the requirements .. somewhat.  whether or not sia suits the sign of leo and its personality, that's another story.  is she brave? passionate? the center of attention? somehow, she doubts that in herself.  but the evaluation isn't whether or not sia suits her own star sign; rather, it's finding a song that suits leo as her star sign.

it takes her a little while because for some reason, sia always seems to question her choices.  is this the right song? does this seem leo enough? it's with a little bit of encouragement from other trainees saying as long as you can explain why you chose the song you did, it's perfect  -  that sia stumbles upon misery business.

she'd been wanting to perform a song in english for awhile, and it's truthfully a little easier to search for songs that suit her sign a little better in english  -  at least, it is for her.  finally stumbling upon misery business as a means of nostalgia, it's like a lightbulb went off in her head  -  and finally, she settled on it as her song choice.

after all, the leo is about being brave, isn't it? being the center of attention and grabbing it for all its worth?

performing the song is a lot more fun than choosing it in the first place.  the beat is catchy and her voice is confident as sia sings with the riffs of the guitar.  whether or not she's chosen the perfect song to embody a leo remains to be seen, but at the very least, sia can be proud of her performance  -  and of her choice.

[rksihyeon]

jkookrk​: 

for sia to find amusement in his struggle makes him feel great. at least they could laugh about it together and he didn’t have to feel bad about his lack of expertise. “I never really saw the appeal. I barely know my chinese zodiac sign- was it ox,” he wonders out aloud, showing that he had already forgotten that one as well.

“I’m glad I got nayeon. we came up with a neat collab. what about you? what is your sign? do you know a lot about these things as well?” those were a lot of questions spoken in one breath but he was genuinely curious. part of him hoped he wasn’t the only one completely lost here. while he knew that gray struggled through something similar as him, he hadn’t been able to team up with him this time. apparently these signs didn’t work by year but month instead.

“you learned how to be a proper person on the net,” he inquires further, brow raised. somehow that sounded both interesting and bizarre to him. sia was amazing in every way. had she ever not been?

sia lets out a quiet sigh, but the expression on her face is amused.  " well .. hopefully it's something that you start to learn about as you're working on the evaluation." she regards jeongguk quietly with a twinkle in her eye.  " we're born in the same year, right? '97?" tilting her head, she finally says, " we should be the same then.  i'm the year of the ox, too."

she remains quiet, her cheeks puffing out with a hint of disappointment.  it'd be nice to get a chance to work with her girlfriend as they haven't had a chance to work on an evaluation together in months, but obviously this month would have been impossible for them to do that.  " i don't know anyone else who has leo as a zodiac sign." she finally says, shrugging her shoulders.  " so i think i'm just going to work on this month's evaluation solo."

with a sheepish smile, she turns to him.  " i just didn't have many friends growing up, so ... i learned a lot from other people online.  i guess it helped me build up who i am today."  sia blinks, biting the inside of her cheek.  " why are you looking at me like that?"

[rksihyeon]

rkharuto​: 

being accidentally hit in the forehead with a bit of scrunched up paper really wasn’t that big of a deal or the end of the world. so haruto didn’t really see why she was worrying so much about it like he was hiding the fact he was seriously hurt. it was just paper, not like he had been smacked in the head with a rock of a football or something. 

“yeah, i’m sure,” he repeated with a nod of his head, trying to quick bush off when she actually stood up to give his forehead a once over. haruto was quite sure that if he was bleeding or something he would have noticed by now. “really, it’s fine,” he hadn’t been lying about that and would simply much prefer if they moved on from this already. “it’s not that big a deal or anything so you don’t have to be sorry.”

though he did have to look a bit surprised when he actually took a look around the room and saw how messy it currently was with all the paper and books strewn all over the place. “it almost looks as bad a my bedroom in here,” he tried to joke. though it was a bit of a lie, he was generally a tidy person and his bedroom showed that. that and his mother would actually kill him if he let it get too bad in there. “me?” he blinked again, trying to act a little more positive even if he wasn’t feeling in the mood for it right then, “i’m fine.” 

she can't tell if she's annoying him or not, but truthfully, sia did feel really guilty for hitting him regardless.  perhaps that's why she's overreacting like this; if only she had locked the door or paid attention or done something, she wouldn't have hit him at all.  she wouldn't have had to worry over him like this, question if he was lying to her  -  nothing like that.

there's still a light frown on sia's lips as she steps away from him, feeling a little worse now that she's been brushed off completely.  " as long as you're sure." she finally says, her hands falling to her sides.  eventually, she twists her fingers into the hem of her shirt, looking around the room and what a mess it has become.  it's really not that bad, but it's still enough that she feels like she had to apologize for the state of it.

" it looks bad, doesn't it?" sia says sheepishly, letting out a little laugh at his response.  " i'm not usually this messy but i've been having a little bit of a block lately, and ..." she gestures around to the balled up papers on the floor.  " i guess this is the outcome."  biting the inside of her cheek, sia turns her attention back to haruto with the same sheepish smile.  " are you sure? you don't have to pretend in front of me."  she finally says.  " you can be moody if you want.  no one can be happy all the time .."

[rksihyeon]

jkookrk​: 

he can tell she’s struggling still, so he casts his eyes away. looking at the currents she makes in the water and focusing his sight on them instead. her care is appreciated and he wants to just freely gossip away about how shitty everything feels and how shitty this whole bullshit is especially for him and jimin but does he really want to rub under her nose how he finally got his first love after all? even he isn’t that much of a cruel asshole to do that.

“I don’t know how much I can say… they entrusted me things after all… but it’s not good. it’s really not,” the male sighs before he too matches the currents she makes in the water as he snarls his tongue in disapproval and frustration.

“all of this is such bullshit. they talk about chemistry and shit but then they cut out the one guy who is friends with majority of everyone- kt’s management is just so full of shit, sia. they sent me off to let me shoot a commercial while at the same time telling me I’m not good enough to debut? what is that kind of logic even?!”

sia keeps her head down, her hair a curtain or a shield depending on which way you look at it.  it makes it easier not to see him, but it also makes it easier for him to be unable to see her.  not looking at him right now is the easiest way she can handle this, whatever this is  -  a confrontation? an easy way of pretending what happened between them didn’t? she’s not really sure what the aim is for this little conversation, but what sia does know is that he looked upset.  even just for a little while, she wanted to be for him right now what she was before.

“ whatever you think you shouldn’t say, don’t say it.” sia finally agrees, nodding her head slowly.  “ but i’m sure there’s things that you can say  -  .. like how you feel.  if you want to.”  she mumbles, twisting her fingers together as she slowly kicks her feet in the water.

her brows knit together at his complaint  -  truthfully, she’s not really sure about the intricacies and the qualities that kt was looking for in nsg, but to be fair, jeongguk was also a rather new trainee at the time they were selecting.  he was even newer than she was, and even now she still feels like she’s lacking.  “ do you really think you were ready for it? right then, i mean.” finally turning her head to glance at him, she frowns.  “ i’m not playing the devil’s advocate, jeongguk.  i’m just saying chemistry probably isn’t the only thing that they were looking for ..”  she pauses, hesitantly.  “ the commercial requires different skills .. i wasn’t good enough for it, remember? but you were.” 

biting the inside of her cheek, sia sighs.  this is probably just going to make it worse.  “ it may not be what you wanted, but it was still an opportunity .. i won’t pretend to know what is going on in nsg, but.  debut is hard, jeongguk.  i don’t think it’s going to come because you’re friends with the other members ... i wish it would, though.  that would be nice.”

things would be easier then.

[rksihyeon]

⋆ party for two. ･ﾟ*

their birthdays seem to come one after the other.  considering that hers is in august and nayeon’s is in september, the fact is almost true.

after last month’s gift of waking up in the morning for something sweet and a date later that weekend that lasted hours, sia is determined to make her girlfriend’s day just as special as the effort that nayeon spent on her own.  she wonders if nayeon’s excited for it.  sia wonders if nayeon even thinks that she’ll be getting just as much, if not more in return  -  a showcase of her love showered in gifts, in kisses, and maybe just a little more.

she snuck out of training that day before senior monitoring  -  vowing to make up the hours on the weekend, but today is special.  she needed to do some setup, and sia’s absolutely sure that nayeon is distracted enough by all the texts she sent throughout the day or the oddly innocent fleeting touches to really guess at what she planned on.

by now though, nayeon should be coming home to see the setup that sia spent a few hours on.  and just at the right time, she hears the familiar tone of the keypad buzzing in the tone to let her girlfriend into their apartment  -  sia brushes down the wrinkles of her nightie and takes a look around the room, smiling as nayeon walks in.  “ hi, baby.” she says softly, not shy about the thin nightgown she’s wearing or the over the top state of their apartment right now with balloons all over the floor and flowers everywhere.  nayeon deserves the best, and tonight she’s going to have it.  “ happy birthday.”

*･ﾟ (   @rkiny   )  ･ﾟ*

[idolady]

sihyeon x la di da mv

[rksihyeon]

                        ･ﾟ✧   9월SPOP        ∙∙       live station 、 daye & taeha

she's barely got the hang of this down being that sia's only just barely managed to film for a few episodes before this, but it's not anxiety that she feels but rather, a desire to continue to do well.  there's plenty of time before the show is set to film for the day  -  this time with two members of berrygood to promote their song together on samsung station here at live station.  although she was a little nervous to be doing this alone at first instead of with a partner like most of the other shows, sia thinks that they gave this slot to her to prove herself.

so that's what she wants to do.  continue to prove herself, continue to do her best.  

the hardest thing about it is making sure that her voice doesn't tremble.  this wasn't as hard to do when she was a beauty guru because she was used to filming almost every day  -  and to be truthful, her fans were a lot more forgiving.  this is in a setting far more professional than youtube though, and it's not only her fans that are watching but the fans of the guests on her show as well.  it's more apt to say that the views the show gets often come from the fans of her guests  -  to the idol world, she's still nameless.

it's the first time that sia's really thought about it that way, and it's almost daunting to think about.  maybe people will remember her from mgas, maybe they'll even remember her as the host on live station but right now, she has no name.  it's a lot to think about.

how do you make people remember you?

sia greets her guests as she should and smiles as she should, and when the camera starts rolling, she blinks too.  " do you see me?" the familiar introduction sounds out over the mic as she puts a little circle to her eye made with her thumb and forefinger.  " i'm sia kim, on live station! guesting today ...."

that's a start.  that's a good start, sia kim.

[rksihyeon]

                          ･ﾟ✧   9월SPOP        ∙∙       live station 、 unit black

when she hears that she'll have a chance to work with unit black on live station, sia is beyond ecstatic  -  but she can't help but feel the way her throat dries up in anticipation at the thought of meeting sunghyun and doha up close and personal for the first time.  after all, before she even considered a career in becoming an idol  -  back when she was just a small and frightened girl too afraid to step outside, the idols that comforted her were unit black.

that's not something that she dares to bring up on air, though.  it's not something that she wants them to know at all.

the thought of anyone in unit black finding out what a fan she is of the group is a little embarrassing, because it's something that she's kept to herself all these years.  very few people know of her love for the group outside of those that she's closest to or had been close to: nayeon, chris, huidong, jinwook ... aron.  jeongguk.  that's a part of her life that she keeps quiet and behind closed doors, a part of herself that she doesn't really let many people see.

after all, many people expect her to be a night5 fan, a the rose fan.  that's who she is.  

she keeps her hands clasped together at around the time that unit black is supposed to arrive, anxiously glancing at the clock every few seconds and wondering if she'll actually be able to make it through this interview alive.  she has to, though  -  she's not going to allow one of her very first episodes on the show fail so miserably.  

when they all start shuffling in, sia stands  -  she reminds herself to act natural, to bow her head, to smile properly and to greet them well.  that's what her job is.

before sia is a fan, she's the host of live station.  that's what they're here to talk about today.

[rksihyeon]

jkookrk​: 

until the beginning of the month, jeongguk didn’t even know that his zodiac sign was virgo. with the virgin as the symbol, he had spent at least half an hour laughing at the irony of that before getting into reading up about his sign and all the traits associated with it. in the end he still wasn’t entirely convinced that this wasn’t all some sort of big bullshit, generalized with stereotypes infected concept. if not for iny taking him under her wing he may have just gone and done whatever performance he felt like doing and then argue his way through why he’d chosen the song and how it represented him.

“iny has. thankfully we have the same sign. I’m glad she’s doing most of the thinking for me on this one. I have no knowledge about zodiacs at all,” he admits with a laugh, still not feeling all that better about practice than the last time they talked. “did you know anything about zodiacs before this?” somehow he never found out if sia was into this kind of stuff or not. 

somehow, it doesn't surprise her that jeongguk has never really cared much for his zodiac sign or astrology at all, really.  it never really seemed like a hobby that was made for him.  sia though, is different  -  it's hard not to learn when the internet that she built her life around was so heavily intrigued by star signs and the way they shape a person's personality.  though she wouldn't call herself heavily focused on it, there are things that she knows and things that she's found herself intrigued by.  

" i'm not surprised that nayeon has to help you." sia laughs a little, quietly.  her eyes don't quite meet his but instead look around the room.  " this never really seemed like your area of expertise."  turning her head to look at him, it's hard  -  there's still all the things that have as of yet been unsaid between them, but they're still trying to put back together a friendship so easily destroyed by folly.  it's still not all that hard for her to tell that jeongguk isn't exactly thrilled about this, though.  " i think i'd be oblivious if i didn't know about zodiac signs.  i practically learned how to be a proper person on the internet."

[rksihyeon]

⋆ talk radio. ･ﾟ*

getting a chance at being the solo host live station is both a blessing and hard to accept at the same time.  not because it's a position that she doesn't want  -  of course she does.  sia wouldn't have auditioned for the spop position if she didn't.  what makes her nervous is wondering whether or not she'll be able to do as good a job at her role as aron did before being pulled from the lineup for his debut.

she wants to be.  hosting live station is a blessing after a long year at kt, and sia wants to be able to show aron and the rest of samsung that they didn't make a mistake putting her in the role.  but it's not like she can just ask aron for advice  -  things are still a little awkward between them, and he's always busy with nsg now.

gray is different, though.  he is like a blessing, a sight for sore eyes when she sees him.  although he hosted a different show, she wonders if, maybe, he could offer some advice  -  for when she's scared, or when she doesn't know what to say.  maybe he can reassure her that she's actually a good replacement for aron now that he's moving on to better things.  cautiously, sia taps gray on the shoulder, biting the inside of her cheek as she does so.  " gray oppa?" she asks carefully, moving back so that she won't seem too pushy.  " can i ask you about something?"

*･ﾟ (   @rkgray   )  ･ﾟ*

[rksihyeon]

⋆ big leo energy. ･ﾟ*

the topic for this month's evaluation is a little confusing, but sia decides to make the most of it.  after all, it seems like it's bound more to creativity rather than the actual song choice itself  -  to be able to tie a song to the zodiac you're born under, to explain why it suits.  that's the challenge in and of itself.  sia never thought she'd be doing evaluations like these when she was signed a year ago, but perhaps for the first time she thinks that they're fun rather than just .. work.

" have you thought of anything for your zodiac yet?" she tilts her head and asks jeongguk.  slowly, slowly  -  they've been mending from the past, though sia knows that at some point they're going to have to talk about it too.  that's not for today, though  -  today is for thinking about the trickiness of their evaluations and to share ideas.  " i have to admit, i don't really have a clue yet ... i think i'm going to perform this one solo, though.  how about you?"

*･ﾟ (  @jkookrk​   )  ･ﾟ*

[rksihyeon]

rkharuto​: 

the days really were starting to drag somewhat for haruto. the same old training routine day in and day out was starting to get boring. while every day was still filled with a lot of anxiety and stress for him, the monotony of it all really was starting to get to him. nothing ever changed, it was the same lessons with the same coaches and then a different evaluation at the end of the month to top it all off ready to start again the next month. sometimes he did have to wish that something interesting would happen before he died of boredom. 

the company almost seemed quiet these days. everyone was busy with separate things and worrying about far more important things than him. and he did have to feel bad for nsg with their current problems and how their debut had been pushed back. he did have to hope they would finally hear some good news in the coming weeks and kt would just debut them already. haruto knew they were ready for it, they were just being too hard on them. 

it was the thought on his mind as he pushed open the door, though he did rather get caught off guard by something smacking him in the forehead. blinking, the teenager paused, looking down at his feet where the crumpled up piece of paper had eventually landed before his gaze flickered upwards to who had thrown it. “ah no, it’s fine,” he told her with a small smile, “it just hit me on the forehead. didn’t hurt or anything.” 

" are you sure?" sia asks him with worry as he brushes off her concerns.  it's true that it was just a balled up sheet of paper, but the fact that she hit him with it at all still makes her in the wrong.  she should have watched what she was doing; perhaps she shouldn't have thrown it at all.  it's the things that happen when one doesn't pay attention that they end up regretting the most.

sliding back in her seat, she immediately gets up to walk over to the younger boy and to give his forehead a once over just to be sure there weren't any cuts left by the paper  -  or worse, that she hadn't actually hit him in the eye.  " i'm really sorry." sia mumbles finally once more, stepping back from him with the apology practically written in a formal letter on her expression.  " i'm glad that you're not hurt, though."

she turns her head back to the room, a little messy from her papers and books strewn about as she was working on studying music theory  -  with her lip jutted out in thought, sia sighs.  " it's a bit of a mess in here, but you're welcome to work with me if you'd like."  she finally says, finding her voice to be a chipper one even in spite of the mishap.  " i'd welcome the company and it .. looks like you're a little lost or down about something.  are you okay?"

[glowing-eu]

sihyeon | 200211 - salute ↳ for anon