Satoru Gojo, the princess of Gojo Enterprises and the most prestigious Jujutsu University, was the girl of every man's dream. Her presence alone turned heads before she even spokeâlips always coated in soft gloss that caught the light just right when she smiled, eyes sparkling as they held pieces of the sky, bright and soft at once. Her voice dripped with honey, effortlessly sweet words that sang praises of everyone around her, but most importantly, a mind that refused to be underestimated.
Men often tried to reduce it to her name, her upbringing, her family influenceâuntil she spoke.
She was a physics major who didn't just belong in the program but dominated it.
She was a princess, rightfully so, with a personality that matched her looks and intellect.
You'd imagine people watching her with envy, craving her very beingâbut no.
Gojo had a way of making people fall in love with her; it didn't matter the gender.
And you had painfully fallen victim to her.
She made you feel things no one else ever had. The kind of emotions that'd settle deep in your chest and linger even after she had walked away. The kind that kept replaying, making you restless at night as you went over every interaction searching for meaning when there probably wasn't any.
She made you feel things no one else ever had. The kind of emotions that'd settle deep in your chest and linger even after she had walked away. The kind that kept replaying, making you restless at night as you went over every interaction searching for meaning when there probably wasn't any.
The kind that made your chest hurt at every glance, every word, every soft "You did well"âwhich she offered so easily to you, to everyoneâwhich somehow felt like it landed differently when it came to you.
And maybe that was the problem.
Because she said things like that to everyone. She smiled like that at everyone.
And yet, you couldn't stop yourself from thinking it meant more when it was you.
"You're staring," she said gently, tilting her head as she propped it against her arm on the table littered with books, her soft gaze focused on you.
There it was againâthat tenderness in her voice. That warmth that made your chest ache.
You hesitated. Because for a moment, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.
It scared you.
"There you are."
Heads turned instantly as the voice echoed through the library.
You flinched, snapping out of itâjust as Sukuna strolled in like he owned the place, completely unbothered by the glares he was getting.
His eyes landed straight on you.
"What time should I pick you up tonight?" he spoke too loudly.
The pages between Gojo's hands stopped turning.
Your stomach dropped instantly. "S'kunaâlower your voice."
Instead, he ignored you completely.
"Don't tell me you forgot," he scoffed, smirking now. "You said you'd be my date for Toji's party tonight."
That's when you felt it.
Gojo shifted. Her head lifted slightly from her arm, gaze moving from you to him.
Then back at you.
Something flickered behind her eyes, and the usual light in them dimmed slightly.
"Date?" she repeated gently, like she was testing the word.
You quickly stood up, panic tightening your chest. "it's notâit's not a big deal, I was justâ"
Your head spun and your words tangled, but before you could finish, a hand caught your wrist.
Ryomen Sukuna pulled you effortlessly to his side, like it was the most natural thing in the world, smirk curling as he glanced down at you.
"Relax," he said, low and amused. "I'll just take her off your hands for a bit, Gojoâyou're fine with that, yeah?"
His grip stayed there.
Gojo's gaze dropped. Not to him. But to where he was holding you.
Then she blinkedâslowly.
"...I see," she smiled lightly, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "No worries. I'll leave you two to it then."
She turned back to her books after that, almost as if she hadn't heard a thing in the first place.
Why did it feel like she'd just swallowed something she couldn't say out loud?
Or were you just imagining itâlike all the other times?
Synopsis. Research on the Herwi clan of Pandora is both sparse and sacred. Current reports claim the existence of an icebound Naâvi residing in the bitter sub-zero mountains of Pandora: snow-white and unforgiving, as elusive as the fleeting snowflakes. Though physical evidence of these people are so far non-existent, and so are the eyewitnesses alive to tell the tale.Â
As a scientist on Pandora, you have only one goal: to prove the existence of the Herwi clan. As oloâeyktan of the Herwi clan, Gojo Satoru has only one goal: to make you his mate.
A/N. This oneâs to all the lovely babygirls whoâve been begging for this heheh, I lob you all <33
âSatoru of the snowâonce the ice disappears so shall your name.â One amongst the elder members of the Hunt sighs.
Gojo Satoru was a phantom figure before them. He led the wayâtowering and lithe. Long ivory hair dancing in the flurry. Bioluminescent freckles upon skin such a pale blue that it was practically white. Even amongst the Herwi, Gojo stood out.
Their oloâeyktan. Their leader.Â
He cuts a pathway through the wind and snow, carrying the carcasses of several snow beasts that heâd hunted himself. They rested upon his strong shoulders - the groupâs largest catch, as always - and Gojo was unyielding to the howl of Pandoraâs highest peaks. These mountains were a crown upon the young Naâviâs head.
The elder clicks his tongue, âDo you not believe it is time for this clan to see our oloâeyktan mated-â
âSo let the snow melt.â Had it been anyone but Gojo Satoru, then these words would be lost to the snowstorm. âBut I shall forever remain waiting for my mate.â
âBut the absence of a tsahĂŹk-â
âMawey- do slow down.â For not the first time since their trek started, Gojo is turning his head behind him. He might have been a firm leader, but he wasnât unfair. He watches the Herwi hunters that extend from his feet to far beyond hills of ice and frost - some middle-aged and weathered by the snow already, some fresh-faced and cold with the eagerness to prove themselves. Following them were six-legged canines they called txeylanâpowerful hinds pulling sleds piled high with hunt. âThe younger ones are having trouble keeping up.â
Gaping, the elder looks between his leader and the younger members near the middle of their group. Flanked by older Naâvi. âBut- but oloâeyktan-â
Heâs looking up at the irritated sky, âI will see no further talking.â
Though there is an easy smile across his face, the elders know not to cross him. Senior in ageâonly age.Â
They bowed their heads and looked away above all because he is their leader, but below that - deep, deeeeeep below what their prides would allow them to ever admit - because they knew he was stronger. The strongest.
The heir born of a blizzard, Satoru of the snow.Â
It was said he opened his eyes during the coldest night of that year. Ice-blue. Bitter blue. Like the pools of crystallized water that the Herwi people would dance their celebrations upon - and that night they held the longest celebrations to date. Arms in arms and singing songs. And giving thanks and giving the young his first taste of snow.Â
And though the position of oloâeyktan had an aspect of inheritance to it either way, it was undeniable that the world had just borne their future leader.
Heâd grown up taller than other Naâvi his age. Stronger. Stormy flurries wherever he stepped, and a blizzard himself.Â
There almost seemed to be a gap between him and everyone else.
Gojo had been sixteen when he was officially granted the mantle of âThe Strongestâ by the clan. It was only about time, and only because of the eldersâ reluctance that itâd taken this long.
And now it was impossible to say whether he was more loved or respected as a leader: the more boisterous of the younger Naâvi certainly loved him, the elders couldnât stand him, the ones of mating age just couldnât get enough of him. Though it was all for naught.
In all the twenty-eight years that heâd sifted through these snows - in all the ten years since heâd come of age - Gojo hadnât so much as looked at another with a degree of infatuation.
Not for a lack of propositions- in fact, if you asked his attendants then theyâd tell you that Gojo had a surplus of propositions. At least five Naâvi would stroll up the familiar pathway to his underground hut, calling out sing-song wishes to braid his hair, to walk amongst the ice glaciers together, to mend his fur clothes.Â
Hopefuls.Â
His attendants were ordered to send them all away with a gift from the oloâeyktan and a firm rejection (though, Gojo finds that that certainly didnât deter themâŠ)
They just didnât seem to understand why such a suitable young Naâvi seemed to be waitingâŠwatchingâŠfor something even he himself didnât seem to understand. Always turning his blue eyes to the skies, ever since he was a child, always, always-
Gojo stops in his tracks.
One of his arms raises to halt the procession behind him.Â
The Naâvi hunters freeze.
The Naâvi hunters let their tails swish.
The txeylan sniff the air.
Gojoâs long pointed ears twitch in every direction before resting in a single direction up ahead - where the belly of the snow seemed to swell with something. Something that the recent snowstorm had swallowed.
âOloâeyktanâŠâ One of the younger Herwi behind him whispers. âWhat is it?â
âMawey. It might be a dead snow beast.â He hisses, though he knew that wasnât right. It wasnât uncommon for even the creatures of these terrains to be bested by nature. But something about the figure in the snow wasâŠdifferent from the hounding things they hunted. Much more delicate, much more scrunched in on itself.
Gojo keeps his hand held high in the air and passes on his hunt to the nearby clansmen. Still holding onto his bow and arrows, he edges closer. âĂâawn- the clan stays here while I investigate.â Leaving no room for a word edgewise.
The wind whips his long hair and kuru as the Naâvi steps closer. And some maddened part of him almost feels that it was as though Eywa, their goddess, herself was trying to get him to stay away.
But an even madder part of him wanted to get closerâneeded to get closer.
He was being drawn in.
Making not even a single noise with his padded feet, heâs crouching down before the unmoving figure and using his long skeletal fingers to wipe away those dredges of snow.Â
Away from a faceâ
He gasps.
The rest of the Herwi startles behind him, âWhat is it- what is it, oloâeyktan?â
âIs it a snow beast? Must we commence the rituals-â
âCease! Are those fingers it has-â
âFive?â
But Gojo doesnât answer their queries, instead heâs silently pressing his ear to the swell of the bodyâs chest andâba-dump!
Listening to that faint heartbeat.
Heâs not sure how this little human was still alive, and he pulls back to look at them- the first heâs ever seen. Gojo has already heard the whispers from other Naâvi clans, of these aliens named mankind whom had settled upon Pandora a few years ago.
Heâs heard about humanityâs wits, their machinery, their greed.
Heâs heard of the way theyâve hurt his people.
But heâs never seen one up soâŠclose. Were they all this small? How could something so small be so destructive?
Gojo tilts his head down at you and runs one of his cold indexes down the side of your masked face, did they all look so hurt by the cold? He canât imagine that it didnât hurt- after all, the only reason that the Herwi had managed to reside in these mountains for hundreds of years was because of its harsh environment. Not human nor animal nor Naâvi wanted to be hereâbut Gojo always loved this place, as did his people.
He wondered whether it was such passionate love or hate that drew the little human in his arms to climb such peaks. To come this far.Â
He canât help but lean down and scoop the human up into his arms.
âO-oloâeyktan what is the meaning of this-â
âFnu- shhhh.â Gojo responds in his native language, âSheâs resting.â
The oloâeyktan carries the human all the way back the treacherous path to his clan huts.
And every time he looked down, he could see the way that smaller body fell and rose with each faint breath. He could see the flying of human-made coats that did nothing to fight off the cold of Pandora. He could see the pen and notebook stuffed inside it as if they were the most precious treasure of all.
He can see you.
.
.
.
Day #1 in the Herwi village:Â
Woke up in what seems to be the healerâs hut, a wide insulated space that is more or less steeped into the underground with a berth of the entrance AS (above snow). Capped dome on top. Walls are composed of wooden planks on the interior flanked by compact ice from the outside, decorated in the thick furs of what appears to be snow beasts. Long book shelves. Kindling lantern of something bioluminescent and emitting heat. Shockingly warm inside. Vents are present but small to prevent an excess of thin air. Separate storage spaces and areas for examination, implications of advanced surgery and medical procedures taking place far beyond what we humans can understand.
Though Herwi healing techniques seem to be similar to that of other Naâvi clans (particularly the Omaticaya) in terms of relation to Eywa and natural resources, it must be noted that Herwi healing makes prominent use of ice for anti-inflammatory and vessel constricting methods.
Sparse presence of herbs and more emphasis on pressure points (for a copy of the Herwi circulatory system diagram see Page 8âŠ), though the oloâeyktan reassures that there are a multitude of flora endemic to the Pandoran heights.Â
The oloâeyktan seems particularly eager to give a tour?
With your eyes blinking openâŠyou think youâve died and gone onto whatever there was afterwards.
It wouldâve been just like you to meet your demise during the pursuit of your research- the higher-ups at your laboratory predicted the same thing. The last thing you remember before blacking out was feeling faint - weeks of hiking up this arduous peak and youâd run out of your provisions a few days ago, surviving on only melted ice to fill your belly. At least, until the sudden threat of a snowslide had resulted in you abandoning your tent and bags behind for escape.
From then on it had only been: you, your pen, your notebook with your research, your translator, and your burning passion to find the Herwi.
It was no surprise that you didnât last long.
But you suppose you just didnât expect the âafterwardsâ to be a blue, blue summer sky.Â
Ohâhow you missed the cloud-frothed ocean of blue down on Earth. It was never quite the same on Pandora, and youâre just beginning to wonder whether heaven was really home-
âYawne, txen?â
Before your muddled mind realizes that this really wasnât your sky after all.
What you were looking up into were the eyes of a Naâvi warrior.
Heâs leaning his overlarge body above yours, and youâre pressing yourself flatly against a mattressâone that was made of copious amounts of furs and the softest spun wool to make you feel as though you were floating up on the clouds.
But the farther youâre getting, the more he dwarfs you with his curious peering.
Closer.
And the only thing you can do is look up into his handsome blue face- the lightest of blues youâve ever seen.Â
Now, you have to start this off by saying that every single Naâvi youâve seen was beautifulâevery single one of them.Â
But you donât think youâve ever seen someone like him before: long white hair, blue eyes almost like a Metkayina, and glowing spots scattered like snowflakes across his cheeks. Heavy eyelids. Taller than your average Omaticaya. Perhaps a bit bulkier, as well.
If you tilted your head just past his looming figure then you could take in the tufted fur clothing he wore, slightly more coverage than of Naâvi from the more tropical areas; with patterns of rosettes peaking out wherever his skin was exposed and dotted like a fainter version of a snow leopardâs. From your own planet.
But you were not on your own planet.
Far from it.
Youâre realizing with a jolt that he was one of the Herwi clan-
âAre youâŠâ And though youâd dreamed and wished and hoped for this day for so longâright now you find yourself absolutely speechless. âAre you- fuck.â
To which he only beams- âNga lu rusey- oh, nga lu rusey.â His pearly white teeth are on full display, one little dimple crinkling at the edge of his smile. He just looks so handsome like this that you almost lose your breath- no. It must be the hypothermia thatâs getting to you. It must be. And if you didnât know any better then youâd have said that he almost sounds utterly relievedââOe'm lefpom. Txen? Lu nga txen? Tsal pung?â
Before he can say anything more, youâre digging in your coats- or at least attempting to. It doesnât take long for you to shuffle behind the thick blankets and realize that you werenât wearing those humanly thin layers you did when climbing up the mountain. Well-fitted for the Earthâs cold, but not for the harsh ever-winters of Pandora.
Instead you were wearingâŠa thick woolen coat?
Much too large on you- almost comically so. It had sleeves that reached a few feet past your fingertips, draped down to your toes, and enough space that you could hide at least five of you inside it.Â
No translator.
No pen. No notebook-
He sees this smaller figure fluttering about worriedly and tilts his head curiously, ââUpe lu nga fwew?â Before handing you your notebook and pen from a table behind him.
âPardon? Ah- thank you so muchâ!â You beam at him, and he beams back. But looking into his blue eyes once more, you feel a sudden sense of helplessness wash over you. âBut Iâm sorry, I still canât understand you.â
At this the Naâvi furrows his pale brows - youâre not quite sure whether he knew what you were saying, but he seemed to have picked up on your emotions. Nudging his large face against yours with a purring sound, âYawne? Oe'd tĂŹng aynga.â
And a part of you somewhat melts- âI said I really canât- hahah.â You half-heartedly try to push his incessant face away with a laugh, taking particular delight in noting how happily his tail was swishing. Fluffier with more fur than youâve observed on other types of Naâvi, also covered in pretty rosettes that swayed to and fro.
Itâs right now that you wished you had the patience to stay behind and immerse yourself more in the Naâvi language lessons your laboratory had provided. Most scientists didnât even go out into the field until they were experts - but you were too antsy, too greedy to know. Something seemed to have called you here whether it cost you your life.
Given youâd picked up on some phrases here and there, but it seems that the Herwi had a different accent from the clips played in those listening tests. Slightly softer, slightly more of a whisper.
Like the breath of winter, his words cooled your mask and heated up something entirely different inside of you. âOe pey ngim krr.â
Before you know it, the Naâvi clasps both your hands in hisâand youâre startled by just how large they are, just how cold. Youâre analyzing the way his pale fingers hold your own as if it was all that was tender in the world.
Intertwining.
âNgim krr.â He looks at you with those azure eyes seriously, opening up the palm of your right hand and touching his to yours. Palm against palm. Breath against breath. âNĂŹt'iluke.âÂ
You get the feeling that you were missing something very important- âIâm sorry I really wishâŠIâm so sorry to ask any more of you- I really am. But have you happened to see my translator anywhere?â
âTĂŹngaâprrnen?â He cocks his head in confusion, trying to mouth the word.
âErm- yes?â Hoping that he understood you, âMy translatorââ You emphasize the syllables- âItâs a little device to understand you-â
Youâre gesturing between the two of you- and you swear you see the light blue Naâvi pale. âTĂŹngaâprrnen? Oe?â
âYes?â You knew that âoeâ referred to oneself.
He balks- maybe you were getting through to him? âNga new ne kanom oe tĂŹngaâprrnen-â
âSkxawng.â
Before heâs suddenly cut off by a hard smack to the back of his head- and youâre looking up just in time to see another Herwi Naâvi enter the hut. The dimorphism between this particular strand of Naâvi wasnât anything too prominent, you find - both were tall, both were pale, both had long tails and rosettes scattered across their agile bodies.
The only real difference was that the one at your bedside was more rugged, with even more pure-white beads woven into his hair. Though that you could chalk up to their separate duties within the clan.
She walked inside as though she owned the place, throwing her long loose hair behind her shoulder. She doesnât even flinch as she shuts the other man upâas she brings out a black earpiece from behind her and hands it to you. âI believe this is yours. It was dropped in the rush outside.â
âO-oh!â Youâre surprised to find that it was none other than your translating device. Taking it gratefully, âThank you so so much.â
âDonât mention it.âÂ
At your baffled expression - as far as you knew, the Herwi were the last remaining uncontacted clan of Naâvi, with no knowledge of humankind nor their many languages. âI learned your language from my books-â Gesturing around her - you were right to assume that this was her hut, filled to the brim with ointments and books. Mostly of Naâvi origin, but you could spy a few in English and Japanese. â-sent by friends in the Omaticaya. I find your human stories areâŠquite amusing.â
âI see.â You breathe.
She gestures at herself, âIeri Shoko of the heart.â Then at the male Naâvi member, âGojo Satoru of the snow. I apologize for him, he is our oloâeyktan- also the one that found you.â
âSo youâre my saviour.â Youâre looking towards him- Gojo once more. He catches your eyes and looks away with a pale blue hue dusting his face. âIrayo nga.â Giving your thanks (one of the few phrases you could speak with complete confidence).Â
Youâre looking towards him- He shudders, âOe ke ronsem tsonta lu tĂŹngaâprrnen.â
As soon as heâs saying it, Shoko smacks her hand on her forehead- and you wonder what exactly he means.Â
So without further ado, youâre fixing the earpiece onto yourself.
âIdiot.â Shokoâs turning back to Gojo, âYou know thatâs not what she meant?â
Gojo crosses his arms and huffs- âIâm just saying I wouldnât mind if itâs for her-â
âNot even Eywa could make that happen.â
âGetting preg-â
âHello?â Testingâand if the way both Naâvi jerk their heads to you in slight surprise is anything to go by, then youâd say that the translator was working rather well. It was less an earpiece that translated and more a device to target that part of your brain that communicated and understood foreign languages.
Allowing you to both understand and speak in the dialect of the Naâvi - an invention by yours truly, of course. Youâd (as close as) perfected it just last year for this expedition. âCan you understand me?â
Gojo stares at you with wide blue eyes.
With his pretty lips parted.
With his tail swishing back and forth.
âI see y-â
âWe understand you.â Shoko nudges him roughly in the ribs, âI apologize if weâre a bit startled- itâs the first time weâre seeing a human in person.â
âI couldâve guessed that.â You giggle, flickering your eyes over to the starstrack Naâvi. Though you were equally as such. Somehow you speaking in his language just seemed to make himâŠâBut I want to emphasize that I come in peace- I just want to learn as a scientist, not even my laboratory knows exactly where I am. And I intend to keep it that way.â
Shoko crosses her arms and looks gravely at you, âWhat do you want?â
âTo learn. To research you and your people.â You look between them both, âTo confirm the existence of the Herwi clan has been a dream of mine for a long time- not for the papers or the accolades, but because I just wanted to know you.â
âAnd how can we trust you?â Shoko says, getting nudged by Gojo afterwards.
âI wonât reveal anything you donât want me to.â Determination dripping in your tone, âNot even if they kill me for it.â
They appraise you, and itâs silent for a beat before Shoko looks at Gojo.
And Gojo nods.
Shoko shoots you a barely-there smile, âWellâŠhuman, what do you want to know?â
.
.
.
After you woke up, it was after a long talk and almost three or so hours later that youâd gotten up- Shoko and Gojo had both rushed to your side. Waving them off, youâd attempted to shrug off the coat and hand it back to Gojo - long since realizing that it was his - but heâd almost been offended by the gesture.
Refusing.Â
Heâd kept a hand behind on the small of your back to steady you with every step climbed towards the entrance. And once you were out- you could practically feel the storm freeze around you.
Colder than cold.
The Herwi looked at you with fear.
They stopped in their tracks and didnât even look to breathe until Gojo had followed right after. And standing beside him like that, youâd been made too aware of the drastic height difference between you two. The average Naâvi was about nine to ten feet tall, though by the look of it the Herwi of the snow were much larger than their oceanic counterpartsâslightly thicker, with limbs that were long and covered in sparse fur to protect them from the cold.
The Herwi average was about ten feet, youâre finding.
Though Gojo stood at a proud eleven feet (11â1 as you come to interrogate out of him more precisely later on) and rested his hand gently upon your shoulder. They had faint scars on them that marked him as a warrior, and you could feel the slight callouses send shivers across your coat-swathed body. His tail curled around your thigh.
You donât think you even came up to his stomach-
âMy peopleâŠâ He announced in booming Naâvi. â-as some of you may know from the hunt today, we have a guest.â
You shift at the stares.
âMore importantly, my guest. And we will make her feel welcome like family.â
âFamily?â The whispers came.
âBut she is one of the sky peopleâŠâ
âPart of the family isâŠbut if the oloâeyktan says soâŠâ
âIâve never seen him so casually touchy with someone before-â
âShhhhhhh!â
âI understand if you are scared, and to those who wish it- you are free to leave and never interact with her while she is here.â Though none of them do move. Fixated. âBut to those who arenât, I urge you to share the beauty of our culture.â
To which youâd gulped before introducing yourself as you had to Shoko and Gojo.
.
.
.
Day #2 in the Herwi village:Â
The governing system of the Herwi is quite reminiscent to that of other clans - made up by a singular oloâeyktan or olo'eykte, accompanied by a tsahĂŹk (though Gojo assures proudly that he is not mated as of writing this), and a council of clan elders that act as an advisory board.
Most decisions are made solely by the wisdom of Gojo himself, though large choices require a vote from the council as well as his people. Such requisites are rare, however, as it seems the oloâeyktanâs impact extends to the non-council people in such a way that they trust him with everything. (For more on the lovely reception and the sheer popularity of Gojo Satoru see Page 11âŠ)
Governing seems to be harmonious if a little quietly tense in regards to certain elders that disagree yet are ultimately obeisant to their oloâeyktan.
This scientist in particular caused a little stir in the Herwi leadership once a research visit was proposed by the oloâeyktan to the rest of the elders. Though initial reactions had been reluctant, after a terse discussion, ultimately six moons had been granted to collect all appropriate research (due to be checked by the elders prior to leaving). No more. No less.
Six moons should be more than enough!
Shoko might have let it slip that it was Gojo who used his privilege as oloâeyktan to convince the councilâŠand he wasnât too happy that theyâd granted you merely six moons (five days if youâre counting the first night there) to stay here. He wanted to gawk at this new human more, you supposed.
But you were so very grateful to each and every one of them either way - even those wizened elders who scowled at you suspiciously wherever you passed. Though even glares seemed sweet when you were living your dream, hm? And it best be believed that you were taking advantage of every single second you had with the clan - every single second.
Because this was exactly what those cigar-smoking higher-ups had laughed at you for.Â
They thought you were chasing a myth.
The Herwi people had been so gracious as to offer you an empty hut, despite Gojoâs fervent insisting that you take his and he can simply tough it out in the cold outside-
And the next day you were up early- perhaps a little too early for the oloâeyktan whoâd apparently tracked your trail and followed you around for an hour. Before he finally managed to stop you in the middle of your field study - helping out a young Herwi mother take care of her crying toddler, whilst learning about Herwi childcare techniques - and raised his bag full of food.
Breakfast.
Youâre smacking your hand against your forehead as youâd completely forgotten - not quite out of the ordinary for when you got too immersed in your work. But it was different when you had someone seeking you out to take care of youâŠ
And so after sharing the abundance of breads and berries and soups (far too much for but the two of you) with the Herwi mother and child, the two of you sit outside her hut and admired the view of the village. The soft half-sun that melted across the capped peaks, a buttery layer of light that was not even half as bright as on Earth.
But somehow gentler.
Gojoâs raising one berry to his lips before- âAhâŠâ His mouth drops when he takes a glance at you- more accurately, at your masked self. And heâs stopping in his movements, âExcuse me for just a second, beloved.â
âOh? Of course.â
You watch as heâs standing up and sprinting light-fast towards the edge of a great steaming lake in the horizon. His figureâs crouching down and cupping his hands in the sparkling water, bubbling with fury. Gojo brings it up to his face and whispers a mantra that you couldnât quite determine. Not from where you were sitting.
Before carefully bringing it right up to you- âDrink, beloved.âÂ
He gently leans down to let his fingertips meet your mask.
And youâd had no optionâyou consider it for science, though a part of you knew you didnât have to linger your lips so much on his cold skin- but you lift your mask up and drink it.
Once the water floods your throat, you knew something was different.
Your lungs quiver.
Once.
Twice.
And youâd found yourself able to breatheâ
Breathing on Pandora.
âHow did youâŠâ As you gasp, Gojo reaches out and removes the mask off of you completely. Heâd let the earpiece stay on, of course, but lightly grazed his cold digits against the shell of your ear and made you shiver. âI donât even know what to say- thank you. I didnât even know this was possibleâno other Naâvi clan let alone a mere human has discovered a way to let us breathe normally on Pandora.â
âFor you. Lake Yapay.â Gojo says, large hand still cupping your face. âIt steams great billowing heat in the day, and freezes by night. Here in Herwi, we use its water to expand our lungs during snowstorms.â
And you want to write it down- you know you should, but the pen in your fingers wonât move. Or more accurately, your fingers wonât move.
He continues, âThis land is alive and works in mysterious ways. It has worked for you, beloved, as I knew it would.â
âThank you again, oloâeyktan.â
âSatoru.â He interjects.
âSatoru.â
He smiles as if it meant the world.
And so your feast commences.
âYou have to remember to eat.â Gojo says to you as he scoffs down a sweet paste made of ice-blue berries, âHow will you brave the winter storms otherwise? Of course, I will protect youâand yet still.â
âWell, I sure hope I survive six more nights for my research then, hm?â You joke.
But you hadnât expected Gojoâs face to darken, for him to shake his head. âItâs not fair.â
âPardon?â
âSix more nightsâŠâ And you hadnât exactly expected him to be soâŠinvested in your research - you admit that you would benefit more from a longer period of studying the Herwi, but you were ready to take what was given. He looks down at the glaring snow and whispersâmore to himself. âItâs not fair. I will correct it.â
âCorrect?â
âOh?â And you look from him to the village straight ahead, âWell, Iâd be happy either way, Satoru.â
Just then that little Naâvi youâd been helping to watch over before comes waddling and giggling out of the hut to hold onto you- and you pick her up readily.
Gojo took one look at the two of you and shivered.
Shivered.
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Day #3 in the Herwi village:Â
Hunts are an imperative part of the Herwi lifestyleânot only is it how the people are nourished, but itâs a social activity, itâs a coming-of-age activity.Â
As aforementioned, hunts are commenced and led by none other than the oloâeyktan. A large group of Herwi warriors shall trek across the icelands in one unit, and it was quite interesting to note that most of the younger hunters are positioned in the middle where they are less likely to get injured during such a trip.
It is in the middle of their hike that Gojo will alert when the group is to split up: Snow beast hunters and snow marine stilts. Divide and conquer seems to be the only strategy that somehow tames such an unforgiving environment, and Herwi marine-hunters seem to be picked from the most patient of warriors. They carve out a hole in the middle of frozen bodies of water (never Lake Yapay, this divine body is never harmed) and each positions themself atop a tall icicle beside it to escape prowling beasts and currents. Crouched and ledged atop one, the sheer core strength and balance is divine once they cast their lines and wait.
On the other side of things, we have the Herwi beast-hunters. Using a large variety of weapons, the most popular is noted to be the bow and arrow - used by the oloâeyktan himself. They stalk in the cold white billows of snow with not even a single shiver, they lay in wait for hours, they tire their prey out.
And nevertheless this scientist found todayâs hunt rather interestingâŠ
The third and fourth days had passed by in much the same fashion - except for the slight tweak in your routine that included opening your hut door and finding the oloâeyktan standing there every single morning.
Always with food, always with a smile, always with some interesting niveous flower for you to press into your notebook. Then afterwards the two of you would set out to help you interview the Herwi people of all ages and backgrounds, to take samples, to explore the natural fauna, to even join Gojo on one of his Hunts on the third day.Â
They admitted that they didnât focus on hunting as much as they normally did on that trek, too enamored with this strange little human that had showed up one day and had their oloâeyktan glued to her side.
You interviewed hunters and elders (well, the ones that didnât ignore you completely or were on the verge of cursing you out until they caught their leaderâs eye) until your mouth hurt. And Gojo had taken you into the best spot with natural Pandoran fauna, making you jot down notes until your fingers cramped.
Once the sun was beginning to set and the Naâvi were getting ready to head back to their village for the night, youâre taking the opportunity to interview some of the young hunters. Gojo was off in the distance making up for the slightly lowered hunt by ice-spearing more snow beasts. And you were more than happy not to distract him while he took care of his oloâeyktan duties- after all, the other hunters were nice. Never having seen a human before, theyâd been more than happy to answer your questions.
Ribbing each other, guffawing as they answered, placing their hands down on you and ruffling your head from above.
Almost as if you were a plaything- and you admit it was in the name of science, you didnât mind it too much until a particularly boisterous hunter about Gojoâs age had kept swatting at you no matter how many times you politely moved away. Until heâd caught you on the scruff of your coat and tried to lift you upâ
You hear the sound of bones breaking before you realize what it is.
Whipping your head behind you in an instant to see that Gojo was behind the other hunter and pulling his hand hard enough that you hear other Naâvi cry out.Â
He lets go of you, of course, and you watch with widened eyes as Gojo then bandages his fellow Naâviâs arm himself. Though you note that he doesnât apologize.
Gojo didnât leave your side for a single second after that.
That night after the dinner by the lake, Gojo walks you to your hut and sleeps outside in the bitter cold- no matter how much you tried to get him to take up the bed inside. Heâd insisted.
After mating, heâd said.
You wonder whether your translating device was malfunctioningâŠ
(See Page 26 on Herwi possessivenessâŠ).
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Day #4 in the Herwi village:Â
Beads.
A well-known part of Naâvi culture, one of the most recognizable, perhaps. The scientific community has written long and extensively on the importance of bead-sharing in the Omaticaya clan, however, this scientist shall be the first to detail the beauty of how this tradition extends to the Herwi clan.
According to the artisans of this village, beads arenât fashioned through molten stone or seeds or clayâgiven the availability of such in this environment. Rather, theyâre made with snow.
Never-melting snow.
Yes, the design of hona beads from snow is a practice unique to the Herwi clan. Broken off from the hardest icicles growing at a peak of Mt. Hoet said to touch the sky, not only is it a treacherous passage to get to those specialized bits of ice, but the process of making the beads finds itself just as arduous. These icicles are then welded into delicate beads and dipped into the waters of Lake Yapay at night, letting them soak and then carried to freeze at the highest peak once more.
This process is repeated until the beads are as hard as diamonds on Earth- perhaps even harder. Never-melting. Never-breaking. Never-forgetting. Though not too hard so that the Herwi will be unable to carve unique patterns and symbols special to themself. Rinse. Repeat.
Though the clear meaning of such is ambiguous, it is most certainly a way of showing appreciation - as one would have to love someone very much to do this, no?
It was on your fourth day amongst the Herwi clan that Gojo didnât show up with a beautiful flower or trinket from the terrain- instead, heâs bounding up to you with a string of beads and knotting it against the side of your face.
Pushing it back and taking you in with it.
Without a question.
âSatoru, did youâŠâ Youâre holding the line of beads up to the sunlight and watching the little patterns glimmer. They were slightly frosted and flurried like the smallest of snowglobes, âDid you make this for me?âÂ
And you swear they had the most intricate design of clouds on them, swirling and tumbling.
âOf course.â He smiles proudly. âUs Herwi are taught how to design our very own hona beads ever since we were children, and as Naâvi coming of age we walk up the path to make the first one for ourselvesâŠas adults we make one for our family orâŠâ Mates.
âAnd this- god, I need toâŠwrite about this but I canât even imagine how long this wouldâve taken.âÂ
âFour days.â Gojo cocks his head and looks down at you- and that brilliantly confident grin of his plasters across his face once more. âFor most it takes four years, but for you I did it in four days.â
âOh, theyâre just amazing.â You run a hand down the ice-cold globules, âThank you, Satoru.â
He holds your hand as he leads you out into the village.
Gojo tells you that night to wear those very beads to the clan dinner - once a week (at the very least) after a particularly successful Hunt, the Herwi people will get together for a massive feast. Youâd heard excited whispers about it from the public you surveyed, and it seems that the oloâeyktan had chosen tonight.
Night had begun to fall, and you were dragged playfully by some younger girls straight to the edge of this vast frozen lake. Past snow-capped huts that stuck out of an even more snow-capped ground like eager heads, and ice-jeweled trees and frozen rivers and pathways lit with bioluminescent algae trapped in lanterns of ice.
It was a world in frost.
Where Naâvi had gathered with their families, their friends, their foodâall in an array of tables that circled the crystallized body of water like a wedding ring.
Under the snowy night sky they communed.Â
âYou are wearing my- I mean your hona beads.â Gojo had beamed as he eventually caught up with you and guided you himself. He led you by hand again - even though you werenât exactly quite sure whyâŠat least it kept you from being toppled over by the other tall Herwi rushing to snag their own seats. âYou look beautiful with them, beloved.â
And you werenât quite sure what to say- though the bubbling pit at your stomach certainly wanted you to tell him something. Instead you divert the topic, âYou hunted today as well, yes? Is there anything here that you hunted?â
To which he looks at you with a rather cocky smile, âBeloved, I have hunted more than half of the feast tonight. Trust that you will enjoy it.â
And you might have joked about him being presumptuous- but you really did enjoy the feast.
Under a star-studded sky and glimmering lanterns that twinkled like the freckles upon Gojoâs face, he led you to the very head table that no other Naâvi dared touch. It was rather obvious that this one was meant for the oloâeyktan himself, but what was curious was when your seat had been placed right next to his.
Perks of being a special guest, you suppose?
Shoko was beside you and shot you an amused smile, before preening for another Herwi next to her with a scar that ran across her face and half-braided hair.Â
âUtahime.â Gojo had whispers in your ear, âShokoâs mate.âÂ
âAh- I see!â Pen quivering in your hand, youâre jotting down your observations in your notebook under the table. âPerfect. Iâm quite curious about the mating rituals of the Herwi, you see. Do you suppose Iâd be able to ask them some questions later on in the night?â
âDonât ask them questions- ask me.â Gojo huffs. Brows furrowing. Lower lip jutting into a pout.
He leans over and wraps his arm around the back of your chair. Squirming, âO-ohâŠbut youâre not mated yet, are you, Satoru?â
âNope!â
âRightâŠâ But then how could you ask him about mating if he wasnâtânevermind.
Because just then the group in charge of cooking for the clan had rounded the tables and begun placing their most savored delicacies on top of them. Meats upon vegetables upon berries that youâd seen growing naturally across the mountainside they lived on. It was steaming hot and everything that you could dream of.
Whether you didnât like meat, whether you didnât like vegetables- there was always something there for you.
Most of the richest dishes were allocated around the oloâeyktan and your single table, stuffing the surface to the brim until you had to squeeze next to Gojo for space. Of course, he didnât seem to mind. Perhaps too busy piling his place with the sweetest treacly milks and frozen desserts that he could reach.
After dinner came the dances.
It happened every night after the community dinner when everyone - full and satisfied by then - would start humming and chanting their ancient hymns. Echoing into the sleepy snow and the ever-young night, someone would pull out two snow beast-skin drums by then. Thumping away to the songs of the snow.Â
Children ran off and made snow-prints and snow-fights in the mountains of powder. Family members would begin drowsily feeding each other and insisting they eat more. Others traced their own hona beads and promised theyâd make ones for the one they love.
More would punch small holes through the frozen lake and bring the water up to their mouths, of which a sudden blow would make the water freeze and scatter out into the air in twinkling snowflakes. Emulating the stars themselves.
Snow-breathers.Â
Theyâd sing, theyâd sound, theyâd show off and thenâŠthe first mated couple would walk onto the middle of the frozen ice.
Then the second.
The third.
The fourth and the fifth and the sixth-
What a way to end the night, love warming the cold air and couples twirling around each other with their tails intertwined. Usually, youâd be content to clap and attempt to sing alongâ
But then Gojo stands up- and you almost believe he was ready to leave the table altogetherâŠuntil heâs reaching his hand out to you.
You.
And you look around in slight surprise- almost as if expecting someone to materialize right beside you and take Gojoâs hand instead. But the only thing youâre getting is Shokoâs approving nod from next to you, before she lets herself be dragged by Utahime onto the frozen lake.
And so youâd danced.
Rather an interesting sight considering the height difference, you admitâbut it was beautiful. Gojo scoops you up into his arms with one steadied underneath you, the other holds one of your hands in his.Â
So much larger. So much more powerful.
And yet so gentle.
He twirls you around to the music and you laugh at the wind stinging your face.
âSatoru, youâre going to drop meââ
âI should rather die than drop you.â
âBut- but what of the other Herwi that will be mistaken?â You ask then, already sensing the envious looks that were thrown your way.Â
âThere goes my dream of being tsahĂŹk, Iâm almost sure of it now-â
âBut I havenât been able to try my luck with the oloâeyktan yet-â
âOh shush, girl! You seriously think any of us had a chance?â
You look into his handsome face, eyes trained on you despite all the whispers and disturbance amongst his people. Only you. âYou wonât be able to find a mate this way.â
Something unreadable in his blue eyes, flickering with fire from the tables and something else entirely. âPerhaps I donât want one.â
âWell that would be entirely your decision.â You place your hands on his broad shoulders, flexing as they move you around with ease. âBut it seems in Herwi tradition, the oloâeyktan is wont to take a mate.â
He raises a white brow, âAnd who should you believe must be my mate then?â
You didnât quite know how to answer that.
Averting his eyes- and those of the Naâvi staring at you two. âW-well, Herwi has many fine women and men. Reykol is the best singer.â
âI do not want Reykol.â
âTĂŹtaron is a good hunter.â
He pulls you closer, âYes, she is a good hunter. But I am better, and I do not care for TĂŹtaron.â Reaching up one hand to brush away the snowflakes that had begun dusting your face, âI believe I have already been fated to. Even before I was born, I have already chosen.â
You swallow, âWho, Satoru?â
He only smiles.
âWho?â
But he does not answer, youâre twirled around once more and the moonlight catches your dangling beads.
âIs thatâŠâ
âSurely our leader isnât saying what we think he is saying-â
âBut look at him, he looks soâŠhappy.â
You turn your head to catch the fact that most of the Herwi were looking at you, whispering behind their hands. In hindsight, you think that perhaps it was not a coincidence that they ogled you - and particularly the hona beads that youâd been gifted. Not a coincidence at all.
You wore his signature because you were his.
And they all knew you were his.
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Day #5 in the Herwi village (the last day):Â
Leaving tomorrow, a perceptive scientist may notice that there is only one thing missing from this comprehensive research into the Herwi clan.
The source of Eywa.
As a deity to all Naâvi people, her influence seeps into the songs and prayers of even the highest terrains on Pandora. Into the healing. Into the well wishes. Into the belief system of a people so accepting and harmonious that their tree of Eywa does not need to be visibly present for her will to be carried out.
But as for where she resides hereâŠ
Your fifth and final day was less research and more saying your goodbyes to all the friends youâd made in the Herwi clan. Youâd be leaving first thing tomorrow, before the sun even rose, according to the sternest of the elders.Â
Gojo hadnât met you outside your hut that morning, and youâd idled away the time packing and repacking your bag of samples and books. Thrice, before you started to believe that he might not come after all.
But that was alright, ultimately believing that heâd show up later on in the day, you visited all the healers, the hunters, the dancers, and the chefs. The mother and toddler youâd grown close to on your first day here, and even a stray elder that had sought you out to bow goodbye.Â
All the young Naâvi and the old Naâvi.
All the Naâvi that had come to not fear you and the Naâvi that had found you endearing at first sight.
Theyâd warmed up to you since you first came here. They gave you gifts, each of them, and your heart ached as you thought of leaving.Â
Goodbyes were always painful - but perhaps one most of all. Gojo.
He still hadnât met you by the end of your route, and youâd circled the village about twice by the time you were done. He was nowhere to be seen.
It was almost as if heâd disappeared into thin air.
It was with a heavy pit in your stomach that you started to head back to your hutâyour last dinner with the Herwi people would be in a few hours. Afterwards, Gojo had previously arranged for you to be accompanied by some of the clanâs best warriors on your trek down.Â
You just thought thatâd include him.
Perhaps you could sleep it off until the final dinner- and you were shutting the door just behind youâŠ
Before sounds a hurried, hasty knockâ
You open the door to see the oloâeyktan of the Herwi tribe.
Panting. Covered in snow.
âMy apologies, I have spent the day clearing the pathway for us.â Gojo huffs out, leaning against your door frame with one hand. The other reaching out to youââCome with me, beloved?â
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The Herwi source of Eywa was inside an ice cave.
One that would get blocked when the goddess herself did not wish to be seen, one that Gojo had torn through layers of packed ice to burrow a pathway for the both of you. Heâd carried you all the way to the gaping mouth of blue ice and ghost snow.
Closing in on you like arms of rime beckoning you to the tree of Eywa. The Tree of Winter.
The cold embrace of a mother.
One you were still not quite sure whether you were allowed to seeâbut Gojo knew he wanted you to see. He saw you.Â
At the end of the cave was an ice column about eighty feet tall and naturally formulated to look like the winding branches of a tree. Dripping to the ground in phantom white snow, each one delicate and graduating from white to blue. There almost seemed to be a glowing aura about it.
Clear mirrors making up the treeâs vines. Honed tips of the icicles rising from Pandora and stabbing down towards it. The top of the tree reached where the cave roof was hollow, beaming a circle of light from the skies that donned Eywa in innocent pink.
You gasped at the white snowsprites that bounced off of the tree and onto your two bodies.Â
Where Gojo stand with his back straight, his meaty thighs spreadâpearly white teeth biting down to stop himself from fucking moaning at the feeling of your mouth sliding up nâ down his hot cock.
While you were standing.
You didnât even have to get on your knees.
His eleven foot figure loomed above you, one hand on the back of your head and the other pumpinâ his furious erection. Your maw slips down his puckered tip and he shivers- bucking ever-so-slightly and hitting the back of your throat dead-onâ
And yet he wasnât even fully bottomed out.
He wasnât even fully bottomed out.
The sudden realization makes you claw at the sides of his blue skin with a whine- direct vibrations that make the puckered tip lodged inside your mouth twitch. Heâs sploshing out even more syrupy pre like he couldnât stop it.
Heâs not even trying and itâs already so much, cascading like a waterfall down the front of your chin.
âNow- hah, now.â One of Gojoâs prolonged fingertips reaches out to smear away the slippery sheen across your face- at least, thatâs what you think heâs doing.
But instead youâre feeling him curve his rude digits between your lips and push those dewy droplets inside. Shovelling his cock just a little bit deeper, âSânot good to waste it, beloved. Open your mouth and take it all like a good girl, yes?â
âMmmpf-â A damn miracle that you could get out that much sound in the first place. Youâre pulling off to answer, and Gojo jerks his hips a lilâ to chase your damp mouth. âYouâre saying you want me to take it allâ?â
He shivers, leopard-like tail twitching. âYes.â
And right before your very eyes, you can see his shaft throb even bigger.Â
Harder.Â
The prettiest bluish-pink on his tip, one with a divot that leaks out a line of precum. Youâre following it with your dazed eyes- before the next thing youâre seeing is a close-up of it.
Gojo has his massive hand plastered to the back of your scalp and is pushinâ your head in, digging his dripping wet tip against the back of your throat. With a groan, the Naâvi pins you to him and hammers out a few sloppy thrusts of his cock.
Again and again.
Slurp after slurpâ
âGonna take it all- hah- my entire cock inside that pretty mouth, yes?â Heâs cocking his head to the side and asking down at you sweetly. And he might look all in control, but Gojoâs voice fucking breaks at the very end of his sentence.Â
Right in synchronization with the way you were dragginâ your sizzling tastebuds down the veiny sides of his erection. Just the cutest tongue that was eagerly lapping up everything he was givingââDoesnât matter if youâre a lilâ human, youâre gonna take the leaderâs biiiiig cock, arenât you?â
Removing yourself from his thickened tip with a wet pwah! âY-youâre really serious about the-â
âYes.âÂ
And heâd apologize for cutting you off later- hell, heâd grovel at your feet if he has to. But right now all Gojo can think of doing is holding onto the back of your head and strollinâ his thumb down the column of your throat. The oloâeyktan can feel that fat cylindrical intrusion where his cock was pumping in and out- and heâs sliding his fingertip dooooooown that bulge. âArenât you a scientist, beloved?â
âY-yes?â
âThen arenât you curious about just how far a human can take Naâvi cock?â
âWellâŠâ You blubber out, âI guess so-â
âThen consider it for your research.â With each syllable heâs cutting your breath off by thudding his cockhead against the roof of your mouth. âThen just fucking- haaaaahââ And youâre finding that the pre Naâvi cock exuded was actually rather sweet- almost like honeydew flooding up your mouth nâ being slid all round by the intrusion of his shaft. â-take it.â
âMmmpfângh.â Tears were streaming down your face by now, wetting your cheeks and making the Naâvi wipe them away with his thumb.
âDonât cryyyyyââ Heâs airily calling out, almost nothing like the level-headed Naâvi youâd met before. âBig girls donât cry. Donât worry- mâgonna give you all of my cock, beloved.â
âS-Satoru-â
But each of your broken yowls were being bullied back in with his bludgeoning wet tip, bruisinâ away its splitted end anywhere and everywhere.Â
He swabs into the tiniest nooks and crannies inside your mouth with his sheer size, leaving your knees utterly weak where you were still standing. Heâs holding your head up to his cock- âCâmon- feel.â
You peer up at him in confusion.
âFeel for your research.â Fluttering his long pale lashes down at you, a sultry smile spreads across his lips. âHow many loooong thick inches youâre being given. How many veins are filling ya up. How many times I hit the back of yer throat like this-â
A shuddering slam right where you were most tender. âPlease-â
âMâhelping you with your- fuck, research.â He chuckles down lecherously, âBy shutting that smart human mouth of yours up.â
âFuck-â
âFeel it- just feel.â
He thrusts so hard that his heavy ballsack smacks! against your chin, âFeel the way that lilâ mouth of yours can barely even take me. Feel how fat my balls are with cum just for you. Count them? Wanna calculate the girth?â Until it was stinging a permanent girth on your skin, rubbed raw with impact. âFeel the way I- ngh, bruuuise your throat nâ those sensual lips until anyone that talks to you knows Iâve been here.â Heâs babbling on stupidly by now, eyes falling more nâ more half-lidded by the minute. Heâs holding on tightly to your restless head and shoves- âFeel the way I fuck my mateââ
Gojo trails off as if shocking himself, and youâre snapping your teary eyes up to him with a muffled- âWhat?â
But you donât know whether itâs on cue, you donât know whether itâs the startle of being caught- but Gojoâs slamming his cocktip way past the back of your throat and cumming.
Oozing out hot dollops of cum that take over your pretty mouth.
Shaft throbbing furiously. Balls twitching like no other. He throws his head back and squelches straight down your throat, and you can feel the thickness of it plug up your voicebox.
So sweet.
So much.
And youâre not sure whether itâs a Naâvi thing or itâs a Gojo thing that heâs cumming so much in one go.
Loooooong miry stripes that trickle down the sides of your mouth- he leans down and pushes them back between your lips with one of his thumbs. Ivory sap constantly leaking down onto your tastebuds, he feels the heady slip nâ slide of his cock against those wads of cum. âFuh-fuckâŠâ
And then heâs not moving, merely clasping the back of your head and bringing you firmly up against his slender pelvis.Â
Your nose rubs against the tufts of white on his abs before you realize that heâd just bottomed-outâjust once, like heâd promised.Â
And it was enough to send you reeling, feeling the pushback of his swabbinâ tip. Pouring out even more heady liquid every time he was draaaaging down your velvety tongue.Â
The tip of your tastebuds flicks his sensitive slit just right and you can feel him pulse deep inside. âFeel me in there?â Gojoâs groaning from above. âFeel how much I ache for you. Feel the volume of my cum- are you counting it?â
âI-Iââ
But evidently your half-sob wasnât enough.
And the Naâvi is reaching down and pinching your nostrils together with his free hand. âAh ah- focus on your research, beloved.â
And youâre struggling uselessly against his mean action, to which Gojo watches with a predatory gaze at the way you huff nâ sputter. And he has the audacity to snicker-
âI really can throw you around like a ragdoll, huh?â
Itâs as if the realization had just struck him and heâs shuddering.Â
It almost feels like ages before heâs finally pulling away with a loud plop!
An excess of your cum was leaking out of your maw and threatening to drip onto the floor- âTch, this is a sacred place, my human.â Heâs rasping outâswipinâ up the frothed white cum as if he wasnât absolutely desecrating you. Pushing those clingy wads between your maw.
He then guides his honed tip to glide across your lips, gluing your lips shut with all his seed.
And Gojo canât help but admire you- peering up at him with his towering height. All covered in his syrupy slick and speechless, unable to talk even if your voicebox had been left intact.
He smiles, tail swishing happily to and fro. âMy human.â Gojo leans all the distance down to kiss you upon your sopping wet lips. âMy m- pretty human. My pretty humanâŠâ
But you donât have enough sense at the moment to ponder too long on his little slip-up before heâs bending down close with his hoarse mouth against the shell of your ear.
Making you feel so sensitive.
â-did ya get enough research yet?â
And then heâs good on his other promise: throwing you around like a ragdoll.
Before you know it, Gojoâs thundering down onto his knees upon the frozen floor - taking you right along with him. He grabs his fur coat from a little ways away and makes you rest down on top of it. With ease.
Back flat on the coat. Legs spread high in the air.
Twisted around the back of Gojoâs neck and locked in place-
âSatoru-â You look around the Tree of Winter that only seems to glow even brighter, the snowsprites buzzing. â-are you sure we should be doing this hâoh.â
Gojo doesnât say anything - he doesnât have to.
Heâs merely unhinging his jaw and letting his loooong pinkish tongue drip out. It was glossy with ravenous saliva, thick at the base, and curved at the tip. The end of it dripped tantalizingly with spittle- almost torturously.Â
Achingly needy.
There was an almost feline quality to it that made your thighs clench.
âN-nevermind.â
The only thing youâre managing to get out before Gojo had his tongue stuffed against your wet core and swabbinâ away until you saw whiteââM-mmmpf.â His mouth was just so large that he could engulf your pussylips with a single bite, honed canines grazing the outer edge of your cunt while he kisses inwards. âMy pretty mate- my tasty mate.â
Itâs almost as if he was pussydrunk already.
With just a single slurp of his curvaceous tongue glidinâ up and down your slit, Gojo has his blue eyes rolling to the back of his head and his hips bucking. Wildly. âWhy didnât Eywa tell me that youâd taste so good-â
âOh myââ Your back arches while his thickened fingertips come between your legs to pinch your puckered pussy into his mouth. Pushing you against him even more - greedy. âShit, it just feels so-â
Smack!
And without a single warning, Gojo has his roverinâ fingertips slamming down on your pussy. Straight on top of your slit where your clit was hidden, it sends shockwaves of both pain and pleasure up your spine.
Youâre gasping and staring down at him-
âNow now, no cursing- be good before Eywa, hm?â That damn hypocrite - and you could see it in that sultry smile of it. Gojo was getting off on the way youâd squirm your cunt restlessly against his face, sighing into the way he starts fucking your pussy once more. âOr else mânot gonna eat this pretty pussy of yours out, ya hear?â
You gape, âThatâs not fucking fair-â
Smack!
âWhat was that, beloved?â
âI saidââ
Smack!
Smack!
Smack!
Until Gojoâs leaving your pussy raw and needy, and even then he wasnât done with you- he has the audacity to purse his plump lips and spit. Spit. Letting the sharp strike of saliva make you shiverâ
âWhat was that?â He asks you in such a breathy tone, such a ruined tone. Gojo spoke like if you told him you needed him right now then he would simply shatter.Â
And you can only gulp at the state that he was in - youâve researched Naâvi during times of high pressure, during battles, during their coming-of-age ceremonies. But never had you met one that simply seemed soâŠferal. âI-Iâll be good, Satoru.â
He smiles like heâs been wanting to hear those exact words for years.
Fingertips jittering with excitement, he then reaches for your intertwined ankles with his tail.Â
Locking them in place, Gojo murmurs. âGoodâŠâ Before heâs getting ready to dive straight back into your sweetened cunt once more, âBecause you better not run-â
And you donât get to ask just what might constitute you running from his mouth. His tongue.
You donât get to ask just what it meant when he looked at you with that dark inkling of something carnal, as if he was about to devour you whole.
You donât get to ask anything, in fact, and whatever questions were already in your throat burst into a zillion pieces at the feeling of him pushing his tongue inside your hole. Properly.
Not lapping away coquettishly on your outer cunt, not slurpinâ up all your treacly juices.
Gojo had his tastebuds stuffed inside your entrance and was draaaaagging them all across every orifice inside of you. Thrusting his entire length in and out at a rapid pace, you could feel the edge of his chin hitting your base with every movement.
Inside and out.
Inside and out.
But the sheer speed of him wasnât even the bit makinâ you the most dizzy- see Gojoâs Naâvi tongue was something amazing. Something incredible.Â
Just so large and lavish that it was stretching your walls out like never before.
âP-please-â You donât think youâve ever felt anything like this- the way that Gojoâs textured tongue would mold against your walls, the way heâd pinpoint even the tiniest orifices with his flexible tip, the way heâd expand and contract his tongue purposefully. Until you saw white. BuckingââPlease it just feels so-â
âWhereâd ya think youâre going?â
And the slur in his voice makes you pause- âWh-whatâŠ?â
The last thing youâre managing to get out before Gojo tightens the rude grip of his fingertips on your pussylips. And the other one of his hands holds onto your waist to haul you back down onto his mouth- you hadnât even realized that youâd been edging away in sensitivity.Â
âDidnât I tell you not to run?â Spankinâ those rugged fingertips of his down on your clit once more. You get the feeling that Gojoâs meanly choosing your clit because he knew thatâd make you clench âround his tongue even more. âDonât run. Donât even move.â
âYouâre just so fucking- ngh, big and you expect me not to move?â You wail out in indignity.
âWell, who told you to fuck a Naâvi warrior?â Heâs countering, those half-lidded eyes of his twinkling with humor. âBetter yet- who told you to fuck the oloâeyktan-â
And you suppose you had no explanation for that.
Especially not even Gojo was pumping his thickened tongue into you so fast that any and all explanations in your throat start to dissolve. Instead being replaced by the most pathetic whines and groans as he keeps fucking your pussy greedily.
As though Gojo was a man parched.
Because your wettened pussy was more refreshing to him than the waters of the lake- and if he could, heâd have his head stuffed between your legs every second of the day. Simply slurpinâ up every dewy droplet that escaped out of you, Gojo catches even those tiniest of wads.
Slipping his looooong tongue insideâyouâre driven damn near mad once he slithers his length in and grazes your g-spot.
Hips bucking, eyes snapping open. âH-how did you even manage-â
âAh ahââ His familiar tut, and soon enough youâre glued back down onto his pretty mouth again. Gojo doesnât even need to try to ease you pliably back onto his face no matter how much you try to run- but oh, it was just so fun to watch your sultry surprise. The way you only got wetter when he manhandled you. âSo this is that cute lilâ g-spot human have, hm? I thought it was just something in Shokoâs anatomy textbooks.â
âYou- you read her textbooksâŠâ You ask.
âAll day and all night.â Gojo replies with a smirk, his ears twitching as he hears the quickening of your heartbeat. âOnly Eywa knows how much Iâve touched myself imagining this.â
âOhââ
It hits you like a flash of lightning- and so do the sudden swipes of Gojoâs tongue reaching your sweetest spots. Thud-thud-thud-thud heâs ricocheting against your bundle of nerves rapidly, making it echo like your own heartbeat in your ears. Thud-thud-thud-thudâ
âShit-â And suddenly you understand- you thought you understood before? But no, now you understand why Gojo had been telling you not to run away initially.
âDonât run.â He warns.
Because all youâre feeling are the large stripes heâs licking up your slick walls, and the only thing you can think of doing is bucking. Rutting. Reaching for his lips wildly- though your body moves torturously as if you didnât know whether you wanted more or to run awayââShit.âÂ
âDonât run.â
But how could you not run from it? How could you not even move when Gojo had your body teased nâ toyed with till absolutely no end?
He was hammerinâ his tongue against your g-spot furiouslyâand you were sure by now that he has the exact pattern of his tastebuds bruised right on that area. Shapinâ your velvety walls to his tongue, Gojo dives in just so animalistically.
And you canât help but buck. You canât help but arch your back. You canât help but reach your hand out and attempt to grab onto something- anything for dear life.Â
Again and again. âShiiiiit is it even allowed to feel this good-â
But the Naâvi leader merely stops your hands with his own, folding them neatly into his hair. Holding onto his clammy scalp- âAs Eywa wills it.â He smiles and your cuntâs just so sensitive by this point that you can feel the exact degree of curvature of his grin. âWhich reminds meâŠâ
And for your profanity youâre getting three more direct spanks, âShit-â
One more.
Before you feel him then twist his fingertips on your throbbing clit and pinch- âYa reeeeally canât be a good girl fâme, huh?â Gojo asks you with a smile, though there was a hint of something in his voice that reminded you why exactly he was the oloâeyktan of such a large clan. âLook at youââ
âSh-shit, that feels so-â But he isnât listening, and youâre fighting the heels of your feet against his broad back.Â
âLook at you.â Heâs tightening his tail on your ankles and dragging you back down. Heâs spitting down through clenched canines, every single word sending sparks up to your hazy brain. Barely even working by this point, surely. âSwearing. Squirming. Moaning like a slut and trying to escape- as your leader, I should punish you, beloved.â
âNo more pussy spankingââ You whine, âJust makes me so sensitiveâŠâ
âIâm not talking about pussy spanking, beloved.â To emphasize his point he gives just a light tap on your sensitive nub once more.
It leaves you shaking to wonder just what else he has in store for you- though you donât have to let your mind grapple in the dark for too long. Because in absolutely no time - just a few more vulgar thrusts of his tongue - youâre feeling the sudden plump intrusion of something slender at your hole.
It certainly couldnât have been his tongue, because you knew what that ridged texture felt like.Â
It certainly couldnât have been Gojoâs cock, because youâd tasted that and you knew he had a much larger circumference.Â
So that left only one optionâGojo had your pussylips spread apart and your entrance gulping up every inch of his fingers. They just looked so stark with their blue color disappearinâ into your hole, and Gojoâs increeeeedible length making you feel so full.Â
Two of them were all that were shovelled inside- and yet he was already stretching for your very cervix on his first thrust inside. He scours the spongy end of your pussy then slides back outâin and out, in and out, in and out.
Each time his knobbly joints push against your g-spot and left you crying-
âFeel my fingers inside you?â Gojo rasps ruthlessly, his mouth wrapped around your throbbing clit. Groaning at the way you grow even wetter- Naâvi senses were strong, and he could smell the impending orgasm on you. âFeel the way I reach for your- hah, womb all inside? Feel the way I can fuck a baby in you so easily?â
âYes-â You answer to them all, âYes yes yes yesââ
And before you can say anything more, his powerful tail hauls you down. Bashinâ in even deeper with his plush fingertips. âFeel the way Iâve found eeeevery cute spot of yours? Feel the way I know your pussy inside and out?â
âYes- fuck.â And you donât even care if youâre âpunishedâ any more for breaking Gojoâs stern rules. Gojo himself was slamming his knuckles red and raw against your cunt, fucking his humanâs tight pussy. âFuck, Iâm gonna-â
âFeel the way mâmaking you mineâ?â
âSatoru, mâgonna cum-â
âNote it down in your research.â
And then youâre exploding straight into your high - and you know itâs the best youâve ever had.
Your eyes fall shut and the only thing youâre seeing behind them is pure black with stars of white, pulsing against your bleary vision in time with the furious throbbing at your cunt. Little zaps of pleasure shoot all the way down to the tips of your toes every time heâs moving his maw across your core. Sharp. Sensitive. Heâs wedged between your legs and lappinâ up each pulse.
Sluuuuurpâ!
Long, aching drags of his tongue. Theyâre roverinâ over the most sensitive spot of your clit, meanwhile his fingers were glazed in slick nâ fucking you stupid already.
Gojo thrusts you through your high as if he was angry at you. As if he canât get enough. As if heâs losing his damn mind and you nâ your pussy are the only reasons why-
It takes you only a minute more for your wave of bliss to taper out, fully riding through it.Â
And then only another minute more for you go from fucked straight to overstimulated by a few more of his rovering thrusts. He swabs your g-spot once more and you think youâre bawling- âS-Satoru, Iâm already done-â
But he doesnât respond. He doesnât even seem to hear you.
In fact, you couldnât sworn that he was grabbing onto your right thigh with his free hand and keeping himself plastered even more into your cunt-
âSatoruâ!â Youâre calling out helplessly, âSatoru, Iâm already- ngh, done-â
âMhmmmm?â Muttering something wet underneath his breath, and you have to strain your ears to actually hear him. Breathy. Panting. âResearch- fuck! MoreâŠâ
âI canât even- oh.â It was almost dangerous just how potent he was with his mouth and fingers, and before long your thighs were starting to shake with sensitivity. Causing you to grab onto his scalp even tighter and-
âO-oh.â
And accidentally tug on the long braid of white hair thrown over his shoulderâhis kuru.
Did that manage toâŠ
Your breath hitches, and youâre reaching out to graze your fingers down his kuru once more-
âFuhâfuuuuck.â Gojo throws his head back in a voice that almost sounded like a whimper, his slick lips quivering. His skin covering in goosebumps. His erection throbbing from where you could spy him. His entire large body shakes with the zaps of hypersensitivity going down his spine, âD-donât think you know what youâre getting into, belovedâŠâ His murky breath clouds out in front of him.Â
âYou sure?â You challenge - what a privilege it was to see him break.
The oloâeyktan grits his teethâ-âIâm warning youâŠâ
But when were you ever one to listen to warnings?
Without thinking much of it, you tighten your hand âround his kuru and tugâ
And then heâs on you in a split-second.
Heâs not even moving- heâs grabbing onto your hips and bodily puuuulling you right back down till your cunt lips kiss his cock. Heâs pushing your legs up until your kneecaps hit your tits. Heâs hunching his entire body forwards and-
âSh-shit.â Your eyes widen, âSatoru, did you just-â
âYes.â
Just you teasing his kuru is enough to make Gojo spuuuurt out in creamy wads of cum once more, coating the outer part of your pussy in a thick layer. It feels hot and wet on top of you, streaming down to drench the coating. Before heâs swervinâ his swollen tip inside and fucking you-
No hesitation. No preparation.
Youâre getting what you deserved, and that was to be fucked like an absolute anima by the Naâvi.
âYou donât know what youâve done.â Heâs spitting- straight into your hotly opened mouth. Those sharp canines of Gojoâs nipping at your bottom lip, âYou donât know what youâve done- you donât know what youâve done-â
âShit, shiiiitâSatoru.â Moaning out his name like a broken record player. Heâs bullying out harsh semi-thrusts against your cunt that leave you scrambling for breath- just shovinâ his puckered tip inside, just tasting the inside of your pussy with his cockhead, just trying to fucking fit.
âSayinâ my name like that and you donât even fuckingââ Before Gojo feels your soppy walls clench tightly âround him, and his lips part a little before racing down and spitting on your cunt. âFucking fit.â
âYou say that like itâs so easy-â You sob out.Â
He was pistoning his hips into you ferally.
The only thing he was doing was stretchinâ out your cute hole a few times, just so big that youâre being push-push-pushed up the fur coat you were splayed out on-
A hand at your throat.
âDonât. Fucking. Run.â
And you donât have the chance to tell him that you werenât actually running and in fact it was just his roverinâ hips forcing you upwards- but before you could do that, Gojoâs already rendering you speechless with his cock.
Heâs grabbing an even tighter restraint of your neck.
Heâs manhandling your entire body down like heâs crazed.
Heâs juuuuuust barely managing to squeeze in a sultry inch of two of his massive length- the mere sensation of that in itself enough to send your mind bursting into a heap of stars. It was almost numbing on your lower half, to have this much of him fitted inside you.
Stuffed inside you.
Throbbing inside you.
And it seems that the only one more affected by that fact wasnât you - it was Gojo Satoru himself. Head falling into the crook of your neck. Tail flinching as it now wraps around your right thigh. Mouth parting with an agonized groan.
âFâfuck.â Heâs echoing out hollowly into your ear, âFuck, youâre so fuckingâŠtight.â
Gojo spits out the word as if it was the very reason the oloâeyktan was shattering right about now. And almost on cue, those sopping wet walls of yours clench âround his tip and makes the Naâvi yelpâ
âFuck, donât do that.â Heâs shuddering through his sloppy strokes, his split-ended tip filling you up with dewy precum. âFuck, donât do that unless you want to be taught what happens when you pull on the kuru of a Herwi like me, little scientist.â
âWhat happens?â You ask innocently.
âSâwhy Iâm telling you to fuckingâoh.â
Just a few more pulsating clenches of your cunt, and Gojo shivers as though heâs being held hostage by your wet walls.
He bears his canines and snarls at you in the way youâd seen Naâvi do when they want to signal, to intimidate, to mate.Â
But you stare up at the oloâeyktan of the Herwi clan with determination.
And heâs giving you one final probe-
âIâm going to get you fucking pregnant.â
He breathes out against the shell of your ear, almost like the last whisper of his sanity before Gojo stares into your wide heart-eyesâand heâs reeling his hips back to plunge.
Uncaring how unready your poor entrance was.
Uncaring how your tiny human body shakes underneath his larger one.
His fat cock swipes between your glittery folds and puuuuushes against the instinctual restraint of your hole, all the way until you start to tremble- and he knows he canât push any more. He knows he canât break you.
Heâs fighting back every sudden primal urge in him that just wants to fuck you all the way inside- and furiously pumps his solid inches back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Keeping a hand always on the top of your stomach for when heâs feeling his hard globular tip push upwards.
Gojo was just so big that he could feel himself sinking in from the outside-
âAnd thatâs not a promise, beloved.â Gojoâs pale brows furrow as his cockhead starts swabbinâ even deeper after each thrust, âThatâs not a promise- thatâs not even a challenge-â
âTh-thenâ?â Heâs pushing doooown on your overstuffed core and you find it hard to breathe, both pressures from between your legs and from Gojo pushing on your cylindrical tummy bulge was justâŠ
The oloâeyktan grins when he watches his cute lilâ human struggle to take his entire cock, the bluish hue of it spreading apart your thighs. He reels his slender hips back in quite the long dragâbefore ultimately hammering- âItâs an oath. Before Eywa.â
A divine oath.
Added to the fact that Gojo was slamming his ruddied tip into you with each syllable- and you could never forget about the sheer size difference. The way that it helped him bend over you and fold you in half as though nothing but a lawnchairâyour ass was cleanly dangling off the floor with how much Gojo was bending you.
A mating press. The meanest one youâve ever seen.
Youâre hit with the sudden inclination that you werenât about to walk out of here any time soon.
And Gojo seems to be doing well on that fact- he hadnât completely bottomed-out yet, but he was still drilling into you with such fervour. Streaking his cum from before across every inch of you, a layer of white that you feel from the inside.
Feverish cocktip swabbinâ all the way at the back of your cervix, full balls smacking your cunt.
Every time he was hurtling his hips forwards, it almost felt as if the ground beneath you was trembling.Â
It almost felt as if he was hitting each of your geysering spots without even needing to try. Just so big that the veiny sides of his cock rubbed nâ dubbed up against those orifices unfairly.Â
It almost felt as if you were losing it-
âSo I think youâll have a loooot of fuckinâ research, beloved.â Gojo snickers, his tail flicking you playfully. And at this point youâre not even sure what the conversation was about, just knowing that it was the background music to the lecherous thwacking of his hips on yours.Â
So hard that you could feel the wads of his high from before glazing your insides. Dripping all the way near the rim of your cunt before being pumped back inside.
He pushes down on top of that bulge once more and watches you whine, âI almost donât want to, mmm, ask what itâll be aboutâŠâ
âOhhh, yâknowââ Gojo trails off airily, something shaky in the back of his tone that sends shivers up your spine. It makes you almost content to know that youâve gotten him so pussydrunken- but then again you werenât too far behind. He tilts his head to the side and looks at you through partially closed eyes, smiling. â-human-Naâvi babies.â
And itâs with that that Gojo finally - finally - drills his cock all the way to the hilt.
Bottoming out.
His breath catches at the realization.
Blue eyes widening. Mouth watering.
It feels so different to have your hot innards surrounding him entirely- and fuck, Gojo wasnât even sure whether a human like you would be able to take all of him. But it seems that you really were made for him, yes? Every curve and edge of you. Every bit of your cunt that he gives an experimental buck into, before pumping inside like a madman-
Pounding you into the smooth ground of the celestial temple.
It feels like youâre being thrust into heaven itself because of the way he was so big, big, bigâall the way from the purple-ish tip that was zig-zagging your walls, to the oversized tummy bulge he was fucking into you, to the way he had you folded. Manhandled.
Gojoâs only lasting a few strokes before heâs crushing you to him so hard that it almost hurts- âRight hereâright here.â The hand atop your stomach pushes down where his ruby-red tip was kissinâ and kissing at your womb. âYouâre gonna have a lot ta research about fucking- ngh, getting bred by the fucking oloâeyktan. A lot to research about carrying my next heir, yeah?â
âYesâŠâ Arching your back into him.
âAnd then hereââ That very hand now drifts down to the in-betweens of your pussylips and rubs his thumb over your clit. Heâs drawing little circles and hearts on top of your sensitive nub that makes you wrack with pleasure, âYer gonna have to research giving birth to such a biiiig baby, beloved.â
You shiver at the thought, mostly excitement.
And he purrs as he rubs his cheek against the sweaty crown of your head, âBut sâokaaaaay- Iâll help you through every step of it, beloved. My mate.â The Naâviâs staring down at you lovingly, fucking you filthily. âMâgonna breed you all full, okay? You might just have to research more about Naâvi phenotypes- heh.â
You can only nod. âPleaseâŠâ
And before you can dwell too long on that last particular wordâmateâheâs continuing. âAnd then you donât have to worry âbout a thing- I can take care of eeeeverything. Iâll wash our kid. Iâll dress our kid. Iâll feed our kid. Iâll do everything and anything just please-â
âY-yes?â Your voice cracks.
And he winks down at you almost mischievously, âLetâs do some research together on when Iâll be able to breed you all full of my cum next, hm?â
And with only a few more vicious thrusts, youâre feeling your second wave of pleasure tonight take over. You knew itâd been bubbling inside your veins for some time now- and right now it almost felt as if that euphoria was overflowing.
Overspilling.
Just like the gushing wads of slick that drivel over the front slit of your cunt and leave you so wet that you feel like a waterpark. Just rhythmic bursts of your high that leave your body loose and limp, shaking a bit every time that Gojoâs cockhead plummets inwards.
Head muddled.
Eyes rolling to the very back of your head.
This might just be the best orgasm of your entire life, and your wave of pleasure is looooong and drawn-out with how many times Gojo thrusts his cock in to fuck you through it. âShit, ToruââÂ
Again and again and again.
Each time hitting the target of your g-spot dead-on and watching as you gush around him even more.Â
You were at Gojoâs complete mercyâŠalmost.
Shaking. Your hands find themselves in his hair once more- or more precisely grazing the long length of his kuru. âSatoru.â Youâre breathing out as he shivers carnally, âSatoru, I want it- ngh, inside.â
His eyes widen, âDemanding something of the oloâeyktan, are you?â
âInside, Toru.â Desperate now.
To emphasize, youâre lightly tugging on his kuru and watching as it makes the Naâvi above you shudder. His cock pouring out heaps of precum that only act as a warning for somethingâŠmore. âF-fuck, better keep this all in until tomorrow-â
At the very least.
Youâre honestly not sure if you can keep it all in even nowâbecause then Gojoâs throwing his head back and cumming long and hard. Harder than he ever thinks he has before- his seed dribbles out of him like a gooey waterfall, taking place inside every nook and cranny you have.
Heavy balls clenching almost aggressively as they empty out inside you.
Heâs swervinâ each ounce of it inside by dragging his globular tip, that reddened cockhead making you swear you taste Gojo all the way at your throat.Â
Flooding.
Your toes curl, it almost feels as though heâs fucking you into a third and fourth high altogether-
âUntil tomorrow-â Gojo barks out through his smoky tone, âUntil always-â After reaching his high so many times in one night, his sparks of euphoria just rip through him. And you can feel the sheer intensity of it by the way his slippery slick thwacks! against the back of your pussy, hot and heavy. It seems to inflate you from the inside, âUntil we have ourâŠfuck.â
And itâs not like Gojo to let up a sentence. Especially one that wavered with emotion.
âUntil I haveâŠâ He starts again, blue eyes twinkling. ââŠyou.â
Right now he was cupping the side of your face with his left hand- accidentallyâŠor perhaps notâŠdslodging the translating device from your ear.
And then the Naâvi oloâeyktan leans with his forehead pressing down on top of yours.
Dragging his hand down the side of your head, where his beads for you twinkled in the glow of Eywaâs tree. Breathing out the wordsââOel ngati kameie, muntxa si.â
He looks at you with a slightly sad smile as if he was almost bitterly glad you didnât understand. Though little did he knowâŠâOel ngati kameie, Satoru.â
And the look on his face was worth all the time youâd spent poring over Naâvi language books with Shoko these past few days. At least you understood this.
You grin, âI did a bit of research myself.â
He holds you tight, he holds you as if he wanted you two to become one.
More so.
Eventuallyâafter about four or so more rounds, and once you were thoroughly shattered and kept on begging for it, Gojo had swiped his long kuru into his hand and raised it up to you. You yourself didnât have one, but if there was anything you learned from being with the Herwi peopleâitâs that love comes in all forms and differences.
You press your lips to his flower-like nerves at the very end of his braid. Immediately, a rush of something between you two and you understand what he meant about being mates.
You feel what Gojo sees.
You feel what Gojo smells.
You feel what Gojo hears.
You feel what Gojo tastes.
You feel what Gojo feels.
You feel complete.
.
.
.
Day #6 in the Herwi village (day after the mating):
The ancient of the Herwi clan were one of the only believers in fated mates, of one who had been destined to walk beside you upon this good planet through Eywaâs will. It was said that life does not flower until one meets oneâs fate, not even the skies shall migrate, not even the ice shall melt.Â
Two souls bound to meet.
And until then one can only look up, up, upâŠ
This scientist was found in quite the curious position as mate to the oloâeyktan on the morning after.
Re-entering the village, hand-in-hand, it was inevitable that the Herwi people would stare. Not only was it quite past the deadline of six moons given, but each bore resemblance of a mating session that couldâve been spotted a smile away.
Bite marks. Bruises. Slight falter in walking.
Not to mention that it seems word had spread about theâŠinoccupancy of the Tree of Winter just the night prior. (Additionally for more on Herwi stamina read Page 69âŠ)
Circling back, the stares were rather unabashed. Some gasping. Some ribbing. Some tuts by elders of the clan who then again turned around with a smile.
It was obvious that they had been praying for the oloâeyktanâs happiness for a long, long time.
It must be noted that congratulations were doled out heavily at the communal dinner that night. Food. Dances. Parades.
It must be noted even further that preparations for coronation at the Herwi tsahĂŹk shall be taking place in a weekâs time. Who would have thought, a human being a tsahĂŹk? Who would have thought that humans had fated mates as well?
For this scientistâs final note, preparations are already being planned meticulously for the arrival of a new heir to the Gojo name.
And that leaves the scientific community with one last thing, now that fluency in the Naâvi language is on the path to be attained: the glossary.
TsahĂŹk - Head shaman, high priest, interpreter..
Oloâeyktan - Male clan leader.
Mawey - Calm.
Txeylan - Best friend.
Ăâawn - Stay.
Fnu - Be quiet.
Txen - Awake.
Nga lu rusey- oh, nga lu rusey. - Youâre alive- oh, youâre alive.
Oe'm lefpom. Txen? Lu nga txen? Tsal pung? - Iâm happy. Awake? Youâre awake? Are you injured?
âUpe lu nga fwew? - What are you looking for?
Yawne? Oe'd tĂŹng aynga. - Beloved? Iâd give you anything.
Oe pey ngim krr. - Iâve been waiting a long time.
TĂŹngaâprrnen - Pregnant.
TĂŹngaâprrnen? Oe? - Pregnant? Me?
Nga new ne kanom oe tĂŹngaâprrnen. - You want to get me pregnant?
FĂŹ'u - This.
Irayo nga - Thank you.
Oe ke ronsem tsonta lu tĂŹngaâprrnen. - I wouldnât mind being pregnant.
Lake Yapay - Lake Steam.
Hona beads - Endearing.beads.
Mt. Hoet - Vast.
Kuru - Neural queue.
Oel ngati kameie, muntxa si. - I see you, my mate.
Oel ngati kameie, Satoru. - I see you, Satoru.
A/N. It must be acknowledged that Herwi culture was influenced by some aspects of Inuit culture, as well as some aspects of my own Sinhalese culture! Both such beautiful cultures that I was honored to research more in-depth on. Also this Na'vi vocabulary bank was used, and for longer Naâvi sentences this translator was used and might not be fully accurate ahhh-
Gojo was extraordinary. He skimmed through classes like they were side quests, aced every test with minimal effort, all the while making it look so effortless. What was there to study when everything came so naturally to him? On top of that, he was absolutely adored by the teachers. His endless rantsâas irritating as they were, left them all in awe. After all, what other student grasped everything on the first try?
He was the top student for a reason.
Then, you transferred to his school, and suddenly everything had changed.
You were slowly yet surely creeping up behind him. Matching him score for score. And while others flinched at his remarks, you met him head-on, snapping back at him. In his eyes, you weren't just smartâyou were sharp.
So for the first time, he wasnât the only one the teachers praised. Suddenly, it became you and Gojo. Always sitting together, constantly being compared, and being pitted against each other as if you guys were some kind of academic rivals, because apparently to them, it was amusing to see the two of you bickering like an 'old married couple.'
But if he was being honest⊠it wasnât just the teachers who had taken notice of you.
Everyone had.
You were friendly. Charismatic. Bright. The kind of person who effortlessly makes people gather around you. Meanwhile, Gojo had his small circle, and he liked it that way. But you? You were orbiting just about everything.
Including himself. And a little too much for his liking.
At first, it irritated him. How could someone like you waltz in and start shaking up his world? How were you always thereâready with a sharp remark, always matching his pace?
Over time, this mild irritation turned into something else. Something more persistent.
He often found himself watching you in class, noting the way your brows furrowed when you were deep in thought, the way your fingers tapped restlessly against your notebook when you got impatient, and most importantly... the way you laughedâgenuine and infectious all the while being surrounded by people who gravitated to you like planets to a star.
It was infuriating.
Because the more he watched, the more he realized that he didnât exactly hate it.
And that? That was the worst part.
How could he not, when you were always in his spaceâpushing up against him to compare answers, cornering him after every test to discuss questions, and occasionally bumping into him during lunch with some ridiculously complex physics book clutched in your hands? (Oh.. one of his books, actually)
No matter how much he convinced himself, Gojo just couldnât bring himself to pull away.
âIt was just so fascinating,â you said, eyes practically sparkling and wild energy in your voice as you bounced on your feetâprobably from the sheer mix of exhaustion and caffeine. You shoved The Elegant Universe in his face, confessing, âI actually⊠stayed up all night reading it. Thanks for lending it to me.â
Your grin was shy but knowing, like you knew how insane it sounded. You stepped slightly closer, awaiting his responseâunknowingly knocking out all the air in Gojo.
Your height difference meant that while he looked down at you, you still had to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. And with barely a few inches of space between you, the only thing separating the two of you was that stupid book.
All Gojo could look at⊠were your lips. Shiny and slightly parted as you caught your breath. Oh god, had your lips always been that glossy?
Gojo blinked.
What were you saying again? Rightâthe book. His book.
Heâd lent it to you mostly on a whim, fully expecting you to take your time with it. He knew you were smart, sureâyou'd always kept up with himâbut this? He didn't expect you to devour the entire thing in one night.
Not many people could stomach the kind of dense, theoretical science he read for fun. But you? Youâd eaten it up like it was nothingâand actually enjoyed it.
When had he ever met someone who matched him like that?
Never.
And he loved it.
He scoffed, trying to recompose himself, shaking his head. âSo⊠you lost sleep over the book I gave you?â His voice came out more amused than he intended, the smirk on his lips automatic.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, just to stop himself from doing something stupid like brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
You shot him a grin and nudged him with your elbow, completely unaware of the chaos you were creating in his head. âYou make it sound like you havenât done the same.â
Damn. You got him there.
But despite your excitement, he could see the exhaustion on your face as your shoulders slumped, your eyelids drooped, and you ever so slightly staggered, as if the books in your hands were the only thing holding you upright. Regardless⊠you were still so unapologetically you.
He laughed softly.
You looked ridiculous, endearing but exhaustedâlike a sleep-deprived ape that had wandered into his space solely to ramble about string theory.
You blinked up at him, thrown off by the unexpected kindness in his voice. Your brow quirked. âAw, is that concern I hear? Are you getting soft on me, Gojo?â
He tried to roll his eyes, but it didn't quite register. Instead, he looked away, his jaw clenching as if he had just been caught doing something extremely uncool.
Maybe he shouldâve kept quiet. Let you wander offâhalf asleep, rambling about quantum mechanics, blissfully unaware of how much space youâd started to take up in his head.
Y'know, he had more books at home. More challenging ones. And the idea of you sitting cross-legged on his bed, flipping through them with that same glint in your eye, made his throat dry up.
Would you be impressed with his collection? Would you run your fingertips along the spines, reading titles under your breath as if you were performing a spell? Would you flop onto his bed like you owned the place, teasing him for alphabetizing them?
Oh no. Nope. Not going thereâwait.
âŠWhat if it involved more than just books?
What if you were lying on his covers, legs tangled in his blanket, lazily browsing through another one of his nerdy books? What if your top fell just enough to reveal the stupid collarbone heâd been obsessed with lately? You had been wearing looser shirts recently, blaming it on the heatâand god, it was driving him insane.
Especially when you leaned closer to him, practically gifting him a view of your collarbone⊠and more.
It was a miracle he hadnât failed his last quiz with all the thoughts of you on his mind.
What if you laughed at one of his stupid jokes again and shoved his shoulder while the two of you stumbled onto his mattress? What if you climbed on top of him, smug with your shiny lips curled into a flirt so sharp it made his heart stutter?
What if you leaned in closeâclose enough for him to feel the warmth of your breath against his mouth, andâ
Fuck.
His entire body tensed. His mind short-circuited. His gaze returned to your lips again as though they held the solution to some incomprehensible equation.
The worst part of all this was that you sat with him in every single class. Every. Damn. Day. Shoulder-to-shoulder. Desk-to-desk. Grinning at him like you werenât completely wrecking his sanity with each teasing comment.
God damn it.
His face flushed deeply red, and heat spread up his neck like a fever. He couldnât breatheâcouldnât think. His hands twitched uselessly in his pockets, anxious not to imagine what theyâd be doing if even a fraction of that fantasy was real.
You tilted your head, squinting at him. âDude. Did your brain just power off or something?⊠Are you okay?â
He coughed, snapping back to realityâpushing a hand through his hair and forcing a smirk. âYeah. Fine. Just⊠visualizing the tragic end of your sleep schedule.â
You snorted. âAre you worried about me again? Youâre growing pretty lousy at hiding your feelings for me, Gojo.â
Before he could respond remotely intelligent, you flashed him a mischievous grin and turned to stroll away, raising the book in a lazy wave.
âLater, nerd.â
Gojo stood there, heated and motionless, his heart pounding against his chest like it wanted to escape.
pairing â pilot!satoru gojo x air traffic controller!reader
summary â captain satoru gojo is the most infuriating pilot you've ever had the displeasure of guiding through tokyo's airspace. for months, he's turned every radio call into an opportunity to flirt, compliment your voice, and generally make your work life insufferable. you've never seen his face, but you're convinced he's exactly the kind of arrogant pilot you never want to deal with outside work. if only your heart would stop racing when you hear his voice.
word count â 16.5 k
genre/tags â aviation AU, pilot x air traffic controller, annoyance to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, workplace romance, voice kink if you squint, long distance relationship (kinda), he falls first and falls so HARD, i love him in this ugh, yearning endboss, dramatic love confessions bc we need
warnings â 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, mentions of grief/loss (death of family member), strong language, aviation emergencies, and satoru gojo being criminally sweet over radio frequencies.
author's note â friendssss i really hope u like this one bc i am obsessed lol. grab your headphones, play your favorite music and prepare for takeoff <3
masterlist + support my writing + ao3 + artwork by @3-aem
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting permission to land.â
You didnât even need to check the screen. Youâd recognize his voice anywhere, even in your nightmaresâwarm, cocky, and already grinding on your nerves like nails on chalkboard.
âMiss me, honey?â
Your pen snapped in half. Around the control tower, heads turned in your direction. Maki, your longest colleague and friend, pressed her lips together, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. Even Ijichi raised an eyebrow from his station. You hated them all a little for how they all enjoyed the situation so much.
You closed your eyes, counted to three, and then hit the transmission button. âFlight 447, you do realize youâre on a public frequency, right? Everyone can hear you.â
âAs long as youâre listening, Control, thatâs all that matters.â
âLucky me,â you muttered, pulling up his flight information on the screen. Scattered clouds drifted past the towerâs angled windows, casting fleeting shadows over your cluttered workstation. âAlso, youâre late, Captain.â
âBy two minutes. Come on, thatâs hardly anything.â
âMore than enough time to get on my nerves.â
âI love it when you talk to me like that.â
Behind you, someone coughedâprobably trying to hide a laugh.
âAnd I love it when you stop talking,â you shot back.
His laugh came through the radio, warm and amused. âSomeoneâs feisty today. Is the coffee in the tower that bad again?â
âCoffeeâs fine. Itâs the pilot thatâs giving me a headache.â
âMmm. I like it when your voice gets all defensive, beautiful.â
There it was again. Beautiful.
Always beautiful. Never âmaâamâ or âtowerâ or even your call sign like every other normal fucking pilot with a shred of professionalism would do. With Gojo, it was always pretty, or beautiful, orâGod help youâhoney. Like he was talking to a date he wanted to charm, not calling for airspace clearance on public frequency.
Youâd corrected him once early on. âUse proper radio protocol,â youâd said, but all he replied was, âSorry, Control. Slipped. Wonât happen again, pretty.âÂ
It had happened again. And again. And again.
You leaned back in your chair, staring up at the ceiling and entertaining the fantasy of reaching through the frequency and strangle him with your headset cord. Instead, your fingers found the stress ball on your desk and squeezed until your knuckles went white.
âYou donât even know what I look like,â you said, frustrated.
âYour voice tells me everything I need to know. And Iâm betting youâre even more beautiful than you sound.â
âIs that why you like hearing yourself talk so much? Because your voice tells you how pretty you are?â
He laughed. âOuch. Youâre brutal today, Control. Permission to land before you completely break my poor heart?â
âFlight 447, youâre cleared to land, runway 24L. Wind 240 at 8 knots. Try not to crash while youâre busy thinking about how charming you are.â
âCopy that, beautiful. And for the record? I wasnât thinking about myself.â His voice dropped lower, not caring at all that he was on public frequency. âI was thinking about you.â
Heat crept up your neck. Around the tower, a few heads turned your way once moreâgrinning, and you wanted to punch them in the face.Â
You were silent for a few seconds and you could basically hear his grin forming on the other end of the line.
âLooks like Iâve got you blushing. Well then, see you on the ground, Control.â
More heat crept up your neck. You yanked off your headset and slammed it down on the desk, resisting the urge to scream into a stack of paperwork. Goddamn it, he made you want to quit your job. Or strangle him. Or both.
You looked out the towerâs window just in time to watch his plane break through the clouds and touch down. A fucking textbook perfect landing. Of course it was. Captain Satoru Gojo was, without question, the most infuriating pilot youâd ever had the displeasure of guiding in. And unfortunately, he was also the best.
It had started a few months ago when he began regularly flying the international routes from Japan to Central Europeâthe very same routes youâd specifically requested when you transferred to Haneda.Â
The 2 AM flights? The twelve hour shifts from hell? The ones that made most controllers question all their life choices and develop an unhealthy, codependent relationship with the espresso machine?Â
You loved them.
These were the long flights where pilots were usually dead tired and just wanted to get home. Communication was professional and efficient. No small talk, no unnecessary chatter, just vectors, altitudes, and a few polite acknowledgments. You could guide a Boeing 777 from Tokyo to Frankfurt with maybe twenty lines of dialogue, max. That was the dream.
These pilots had been airborne for twelve hours or longerâthe last thing they wanted was a chatty air traffic controller stretching out their shift with unnecessary conversation. And the last thing you wanted was to listen to their rambling. You loved those quiet and professional pilotsâthe ones you barely had to talk to, just guide them in and call it a day. Great. Easy work. You loved your job when it was uncomplicated.
While your colleagues dealt with the chaos of domestic flightsâtight turnarounds, grumbling pilots, weather complaints, gate drama and all that shitâyou got the stern and serious long-distance flyers.
Until Captain Satoru Gojo.
The first time you handled Flight 447âs approach out of Prague, you braced for the usual. Someone whoâd been flying for thirteen hours straight and just wanted to land, deplane, and find the nearest bed. What you got instead was a happy voice that sounded like the man had just woken from the greatest nap of his lifetime and could easily fly for another thirteen hours.
âTokyo Control, Flight 447 requesting descent. And might I say... what a beautiful night it is up here.â
You blinked at your radar screen. It was 2:03 AM. Cloudy skies. Visibility barely above minimum levels. Nothing about it was beautiful.
Most pilots at this hour could barely remember their own call signs. But not Gojo. Gojo sounded wide awake and relaxedâand, unfortunately, talkative.Â
God, he talked so much. Always cracking jokes, always so cocky, always dragging out what shouldâve been a thirty second exchange into a five minute monologue over the radio.
âFlight 447, descend and maintain flight level 240.â
âDescending to 240. Had to adjust our approach three times tonight because of wind shear. Amazing how much the atmosphere changes in just a few thousand feet. Did you know thatââ
âFlight 447, contact Tokyo Aproach on 119.7.â
He sighed. âCopy that, beautiful. Always a pleasure chatting with you.â
It started professional enoughâwell, as professional as someone could be while constantly calling air traffic control âbeautifulââbut overtime, he got more and more flirty. Somewhere around the fifth or seventh flight, you guided him in, he stopped sounding like a pilot and started sounding like a man leaving voicemail notes to his girlfriend.Â
âGood morning, gorgeous.â
âDid you miss my voice, honey?â
âUntil next time, beautiful.â
Maybe it was his personality, as if he simply couldnât help himselfâlike heâd physically explode if he didnât borderline sexual harass his ground crew and was naturally incapable of having a normal conversation. But goddamn, did it annoy you.
Heâd never even seen you. Didnât know your name, wouldnât recognize your face if you passed him in the terminal. He probably couldnât even point to the tower from his cockpit window. And yet, every transmission felt like he thought he was on private frequency with you, and not broadcasting on public monitored by half the airspace.
And oh my God, the ramblingâthe fucking rambling. And, of course, you were his favorite audience.
âYou know, Control, I was reading this article about albatrosses during my layover in Warsaw and it got me thinking. Did you know they can fly for years without ever touching ground, like literally sleeping while they fly? Can you imagine? They use these tiny wind gradients over the waves to do that. Makes our fuel consumption look pretty inefficient, doesnât it?â
You already felt your soul leaving your body.
âAlthough I bet you could optimize their route better than they can to save even more energy. Youâve got such a lovely voice for giving directions. Very authoritative. I like thatââ
Sometimes heâd yap for minutes until you got so annoyed that youâd rip off your headset before he could finish whatever outrageous story he was about to finish and waved at Ijichi to take over. Poor Ijichiâan actual saint and unfortunately still a rookie, so he was your victimâwould sigh, slid on his headset and took over the frequency to reply to Gojoâs rambling about birds in a very distinctly male, distinctly unimpressed voice.
âFlight 447, this is Tokyo Control. Please state your current altitude.â
A pause. âOh. Um. Flight level 380. SorryâIs the other controller⊠did sheâŠ?â
âFlight 447, maintain current altitude and heading. Contact Approach on 119.7.â
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ijichi shoot you a pained look and mouthed, âYour boyfriendâs looking for youâ while you pretended to be very busy with paperwork, highlighting the same line of a weather report youâd already read four times.
Youâd complained to your supervisor, of course. Marched into Yagaâs office with a list of incidents and timestamps of what you considered to be highly unprofessional behaviour that was interfering with air traffic operations.
Yaga had listened, occasionally nodding, while you explained in detail why Captain Gojoâs voice should be banned from all airspace. When you finished, heâd leaned back in his chair and given you that lookâthe one supervisors gave when they were about to tell you something you didnât want to hear.
âHas he ever caused a delay?â Yaga asked.
âWell, no, butââ
âMissed a radio call?â
âNo, howeverââ
âFailed to follow vectors or altitude assignments?â
âThatâs not the pointââ
âHas he ever said anything explicitly inappropriate? Sexual harassment, offensive language, anything that would violate communications protocols?â
Youâd opened your mouth, then closed it. You were fighting a losing battle.
Yaga had shrugged and pointed out that Gojo never said anything explicitly inappropriate, never caused delays, and had the cleanest safety record of any pilot flying commercial routes in Japan. Zero incidents, zero violations, zero passenger complaints. He was the perfect pilot.
âThe guyâs annoying but harmless,â Yaga had said at last, and slid your complaint folder back across his desk.
Harmless. Right.
Harmless if you didnât count the fact that he was actively driving you insane and making you seriously consider changing careers. Or at least requesting a transfer to cargo flights, where the pilots were too busy dealing with departures every thirty minutes to spend time talking about stupid bird flyting techniques.
But damn itâyou worked so hard for this position. You were a certified, professional air traffic controller with five years on the radar and an impeccable safety record. Youâd studied for two years to pass the brutal exams, survived months in training simulations and clawed your way up from ground control to tower to approach and finally to the international routes.Â
You directed aircraft worth billions of dollars, carrying hundreds of lives, through some of the most complex and congested airspace in Asia. You coordinated with air traffic controllers in twelve different countries, handled language barriers, time zones, techchnical delays, and medical emergenciesâall while being always fucking calm and polite.Â
Okay, scratch the polite part. But you got the job done, and thatâs what mattered. And you were not about to throw it all away because one stupid, obnoxious pilot with an equally stupid, attractive voice was too dense to tell the difference between air traffic control and fucking Tinder.
Okay, forget about the calm part, too.
It didnât help that your colleagues found the whole thing all too amusing. Your colleague Makiâwho handled mostly domestic routes and therefore dealt with normal, professional pilotsâhad already labelled Gojo your âwork husbandâ.
And every time his flight number popped up on the radar, sheâd make kissy faces in your direction and sing, âOh, your boyfriendâs calling,â to which youâd reply âHeâs not my boyfriend.â Or worse, sheâd lean over your shoulder while he was in the middle of yet another monologue, whispering when youâd finally ask him out. Of course, she knew heâd hear every word on the other end of the radio, prompting him to tease you with, âSheâs right. When will you finally ask me?â
âFlight 447, turn left heading 090, descend to flight level 200.â
âLeft 090, down to 200. And might I add that you sound particularly lovely today, Control? Did you do something different with your⊠well, I canât see your hair, but I bet it looks very pretty.â
Maki would choke on her laughter like a middle schooler watching her crush talk, and youâd have to clench your fists to stop yourself from punching them both.
And it didnât help that everyone loved him, of course.Â
Everyone except you, apparently.
The ground crew basically fought over who got to service his aircraft. Youâd see a swarm of orange vests crowding Gate 7 whenever Flight 447 rolled inâlike teenage fangirls waiting backstage for their favourite boy band. It was ridiculous.
Youâve seen how the gate agents would always check their hair and straighten their ties. Hana from passenger services bought new lipstick âjust in caseâ she ran into Captain Gojo during a layover.Â
Even the janitorsâthe fucking janitorsâsomehow developed a sudden obsession with the floor around Gate 7. Mr. Takeshi, whoâd been mopping this place since the airport was built, now took his sweet time in that exact area. Like. What the fuck.
It was like the entire airport had developed a collective crush on a man most of them had never even spoken to. All based on stories and the occasional glimpse of him walking through the terminal in his pilot uniform.
Youâd never actually seen him. In the months heâd been flying your routes, your shifts always ended right before he arrivedâor you were stuck up in the tower when he was on the ground. Like you existed in parallel universes. You guided his plane through the airspace, but never actually crossed paths on the ground.
Everyone said he was stupidly prettyâso damn dreamy and everything. You couldâve looked him up, googled him, stalked the airport intranet. But you didnât. For all you knew, he was sixty with a beer belly and balding. But unfortunately, he also had an infuriatingly attractive voice over radio communication.
Which only made it worse.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
It was one of those days where everything had gone wrong the moment youâd stepped into the tower. The coffee machine was broken, spitting out something between coffee grounds and mud. Your computer crashed twice during the morning shift, erasing twenty minutes of logged flight data. And to top it off, Ijichi had called in sick, leaving you to handle both international and domestic flights with only Maki as backupâwho was currently tied up managing a medical diversion across three different frequencies.
So when Flight 447âs call sign appeared on your radar screen a full twenty minutes ahead of schedule, you felt your eye twitch.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting vectors for approach.â
You glared at the radar. Of course he was early. And of fucking course he was screwing up your carefully timed arrival window. Youâd scheduled him between two other flights, and now you had to rearrange everything yet again.
âFlight 447, turn left heading 180, descend and maintain 3,000 feet.â
âLeft 180, down to 3,000. You sound tense, Control. Long shift?â
Deep breath. Remember, violence is not an option.
âJust doing my job, 447.â
âOuch. Thatâs definitely tension. Let me guessâcomputer crash? Did someone steal your lunch? Ah wait, I knowâthe coffee machine spat out mud again, didnât it?â
You blinked at your screen. How could he possiblyâ
âFlight 447, maintain current heading and altitude.â
âCome on, donât be like that. I brought you something from Zurich. Might help improve your mood.â
You paused, finger hovering over the radio button. âYou⊠brought me something?â
âMhm. You know those famous Swiss chocolatiers? Heard they make the best chocolate in Europe, so I picked some up for you.â
You stared at your screen for a beat, unsure whether to feel weirdly flattered or wildly uncomfortable. Probably both.
âYou donât even know who I am.â
âI know enough,â he said, still annoyingly casual. âI know you prefer late international routes because theyâre usually quiet and professional. I know you drink your coffee black, because Iâve heard you complainâmore than onceâthat no one washes out the cream dispenser in the break room, and that it will one day cause a biohazard. Which, judging by your mood today, Iâm guessing no oneâs done that in a while, so now the good machineâs off to maintenance again, and youâre stuck with that old one that just spits out grounds.â
A pause.
âAnd I know you stay late to help train the newbies, because Iâve heard your voice in the background on calls. I have to say, youâve got this calm, patient tone that makes it almost sound like youâre not seconds away from strangling them. Itâs kind of adorable, really.â
You sat up straighter. How did he know all that? And more importantly, why had he noticed all that?
You didnât respond right away, unsure what to respond at all. Then, finally, you clicked your radio.
âFlight 447, turn right heading 240. Contact Approach on 119.7.â
âWait, thatâs it? No âthank youâ or âwow, youâre so thoughtful for bringing me treats form overseasâ? I declared that stuff at customs, you know. It was a whole ordeal.â
Despite your awful morning, your lip twitched. âYou declared chocolate at customs?â
âHad to. They were weirdly suspicious about a pilot carrying so much chocolate in his carry-on. I told them it was for someone special, and they got all sentimental and waved me through.â
âYou told customs agents I was special?â
âI told them the truth. âŠThough I may have implied you were my girlfriend to avoid further questioning.â
âYou what?â
His laugh crackled through the headset, way too pleased with himself. âRelax, beautiful. Customs agents donât exactly hang out with air traffic controllers. Your secret identity is safe.â
âFlight 447, Iâm transferring you to Approach. Stop inventing fake relationships with me at international borders.â
âSo weâre not dating? Huh. Thatâs news to me.â
âIâm doing my job.â
âYeah. And your job involves listening to me, technically speaking.â
âMy job involves keeping you from colliding with other planes, not entertaining your delusions.â
âSee? You care about my safety. Such a good girlfriend, Control.â
You could almost hear the smirk through the static. Across the tower, Makiâfinally free from her emergencyâwas trying desperately to look anywhere but your direction. She was listening too, you realized, her face reddening as she barely held in her laughter.
âFlight 447 switch to Approach now, or I will reroute you to Osaka instead.â
âYou wouldnât dare. Youâd miss me too much.â
âTry me.â
âOkay, okay, Iâm switching,â he said, still laughing. âIâll make sure the chocolate gets delivered to your gate. Itâs got your name on it. Well⊠your call sign, anyway. Couldnât exactly ask for your real name without sounding like a creep. Oh, and thereâs a little something extra in the box, too.â
Your finger froze over the transmit button. âWhat kind of extra?â
âJust a little something. See you on the ground, beautiful.â
The line went silent as he switched to Approach, leaving you staring at your screen with a whole lot of annoyance, curiosity, and something dangerously close to anticipation swirling in your head.
Maki rolled her chair over without missing a beat. âDid he just say he brought you chocolate? From Switzerland?â
âApparently.â
âAnd declared you his girlfriend to customs?â
âI hate him.â
âAnd thereâs something extra waiting for you at the gate?â
You gave her a warning look. âStop that.â
âYou realize most guys donât even text back. And he flew across eleven time zones and smuggled in fancy chocolate for you. Yeah, no one does that unless theyâre into you.â
âItâs creepy.â
âSure,â she said. âSo creepy that youâre smiling about it.â
âIâm not smiling.â
âYou absolutely are.â She leaned closer. âAnd youâre totally going to check the gate during your break.â
You turned back to your screen. âI have work to do.â
âRight. Want me to cover for you while you go see what the handsome pilot brought you?â
âIâm notââÂ
Your radar lit up. âTower, this is Flight 892 requesting vectors for approach.â Saved by traffic, or whatever. You put your headset back on, thankful for the distraction, and focused on the radar.Â
You were definitely not thinking about Swiss chocolate.
Or whatever extra he brought.
Not even a little.
Okay, maybe a little.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
You waited until Flight 447 was safely out of range and someone elseâs problem before making your move. The tower had quieted into its usual evening rhythmâslower, calmer, manageable. Most of the midday traffic was gone. And you? You were definitely just walking to the gate to, you know, get your steps in. Obviously.
âOff to investigate your love offerings?â Maki called as you headed for the elevator.
âGate operations check,â you tried, but you couldnât fool her.
The box was sitting right there at the international gate deskâimpossible to miss. It was white and elegant, wrapped with a dark green ribbon, and with your controller call sign handwritten on the tag. Hana, the gate agent on duty, lit up the moment she saw you.
âOh! Youâre Control Seven! Captain Gojo dropped that off a few hours ago. He was very specific that it had to go to âthe controller with the most beautiful voice in aviation.ââ She giggled like a schoolgirl. âHeâs so romantic.â
You stared at the box. It was bigger than youâd expected with a fancy logo that suggested the box probably cost more than your monthly food budget.
âDid he⊠say anything else?â
âJust that youâd had a rough day and deserved something sweet.â Hana sighed. âHeâs so thoughtful. And his eyes? Like a winter sky.â
Winter sky? My god. You swore everyone around here was losing their goddamn minds over this man. You were so fed up with the collective swooning, you were starting to wonder if you were the only one left immune to his bullshit.
âRight. Well. Thanks.â
Back at your console, you set it down and stared at it as if it were a ticking bomb. Maki appeared at your side, peering over your shoulder.
âHoly shit. Is that from that famous Swiss brand? Do you even know how expensive that place is?â
âItâs just chocolate.â
âJust chocolate?â Maki carefully lifted the lid. Inside, each handmade confection was perfectly nestled in its own spot. âThese are, like, forty bucks each. Thereâs at least thirty pieces in here.â
Ijichi gave a low whistle. âYour pilot boyfriend just dropped twelve hundred dollars on chocolate for you.â
âHeâs not my boyfriend.â But your eyes were still glued to the box, your brain struggling to process the fact that someone had just casually spent more than your rent on Swiss truffles. Someone whoâd never even seen your face.
âOh my God, try one,â Maki said, already plucking out a champagne truffle. âDonât be shy.â
You picked a dark chocolate filled with salted caramel and bit into it. It was... really good. Incredible, even. Probably the best thing youâd ever tasted. Which, somehow, only made this entire situation worse.
âGirl, you are so lucky,â Maki sighed, popping another piece into her mouth. âA hot pilot who brings you fancy chocolate? Where do I sign up for that kind of harassment?â
âHeâs probably not even attractive. Iâve never actually seen him.â
Both Maki and Ijichi froze, their mouths full of chocolate.
âWait,â Maki said slowly. âYouâve never seen him?â
âOur shifts donât overlap. Iâm always in the tower when his flights come in.â
âOh my God.â Maki turned to her computer. âIâm looking him up. The airport has photos of all the regular pilots for security, right?â
âTower, this is Flight 234 requesting vectors for approach,â crackled your headset.Â
You grabbed your radio. âFlight 234, turn right heading 090, descend and maintain 4,000 feet.â
You moved quickly back to your station, eyes fixed on the radar screen. Behind you, you could feel Maki and Ijichi staring at you, clearly waiting for you to come back to them to gossip, but you waved them off without turning around.Â
As you guided the aircraft in, your hand absently toyed with the ribbon around the box, and thatâs when you noticed the âsomething extraâ. Tucked beneath the chocolates was a postcard that showed the Swiss alps. You turned the card around.
âFor the voice that always guides me home. Thank you for keeping me safe up there.â â S
You shivered.
Out of annoyance. Obviously. Not because of the note. Or the postcard. Or the very stupid, very warm feeling creeping up your neck. Nope. Pure irritation. And maybe a tiny bit of cardiac distress. From rage. Clearly.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
Youâd barely slept the night before. Every time you closed your eyes, youâd thought about stupidly expensive Swiss chocolate, that annoyingly sincere note, and the way his voice had softened when heâd called you special. It was infuriating. You were a professional, rational adult, not someone who lost sleep over a cocky pilot with a bedroom voice that was clearly a walking red flag.
Yet here you were at 12:28 PM, exhausted and surviving on your fourth cup of awful Tower coffee because an emergency landing had turned your normal shift into a fourteen hour marathon. A passenger going into labour during a flight from Beijing had caused half the Pacific to be rerouted, and by the time the situation had been handled, the night shift was understaffed and youâd agreedâmore or less voluntarilyâto stay and help out.
The tower had gone still in the way airports only do at night. Just you and your collegue Kai on shift, and him busy on a separate channel, handling a delayed cargo inbound. Somewhere below, the terminal lights flickered as the cleaning crews did laps. You rested your chin in your palm and tried not to hate everything.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting approach clearance.â
It took your brain a second to catch up. Flight 447. Heâd just arrived from Paris. Of course. You took a breath.
âFlight 447, unable to clear for approach at this time. We have outbound traffic. Maintain current altitude and turn left heading 270 for holding.â
âCopy that. Left 270. Long night down there?â
You rubbed your eyes. âMedical emergency earlier. Youâll be in the hold for about an hour.â
âRoger. Heyâdid you get the chocolates?"
Despite your exhaustion, you felt heat creep up your neck. Damn him. âYes. Thank you. They were... unnecessary.â
âBut good?â
You exhaled. âReally good.â
âKnew it. You sound tired, Control. How long you been on?â
You checked your watch. âFourteen hours.â
âYou shouldnât be pulling shifts that long. You always look after everyone else but youâve got to take care of yourself too, you know.â
You paused, the words hitting you sideways. Maybe it was the fatigue making you soft, or maybe it was the fact that, for once, he didnât sound like he was trying to get a rise out of you. He sounded genuinely concernedâand it threw you off more than any flirtation ever had. You didnât even have the energy to fight him on it.
âSomeone had to cover.â
âNot at the cost of your own health. You drinking water? Eating real food? And I donât mean the sandwiches they sell in the vending machines in the gates.â
âI did eat something a few hours ago. Iâm okay. We had a pregnant passenger go into labor. Coordinated three hospitals and rerouted six aircraft, then landed them priority.â
âIs she okay?â
âBaby girl, born healthy. I heard from the flight attendant that theyâve named her Sky. Itâs kinda cheesy.â
âThatâs beautiful.â His voice was soft. âYou helped bring a little life into the world tonight.â
âItâs just part of the job.â
âItâs not just your job, you know that,â he said gently. âItâs you being the person people count on when it really matters.â
âI donât knowâŠâ
âYou know why I always ask for this route?â
âBecause you like to annoy me?â
He laughed quietly. âBecause your voice is the best part of my day. Doesnât matter what went wrong, how difficult the passengers, or how many delays we had to deal withâthe moment I hear you on frequency⊠I know Iâm okay. I know Iâm home.â
You blinked. Words tangled somewhere between your chest and your mouth, but none made it out. How could they? Not with your heart thudding like it was trying to escape. Not with your lungs suddenly feeling too small.Â
It was silent in the tower. Kai was still busy on the other frequency with his cargo flight, leaving you alone with nothing but Gojoâs soft breathing in your headset and the pounding of your pulse.Â
You pressed your forehead to your arms on the desk, willing your heart rate to slow. Eventually, quietly, you said, âWhy? Why are you being so⊠like this? You donât even know me.â
âI know enough. I know you work too hard and care too much. I know youâre calm even when the towerâs on fire. I know you have the most beautiful voice Iâve ever heard, and you use it to keep people safe.â
You could barely breathe.
âYou deserve more than what this job takes from you, you know,â he added, almost like an afterthought.
âYouâre so stupid,â you whispered, the insult so soft it barely had teeth.
âYouâre exhausted. Lie to me tomorrow.â A pause. âYou know, the cherry blossoms along the Seine were beautiful in Paris.â His voice grew wistful, and you closed your eyes, letting the sound wash over you in the quiet tower. âIâd love to show you someday.â
âYour girlfriend probably wouldnât appreciate you taking other women on romantic trips to Paris.â
âI donât have a girlfriend,â he said without hesitation. âI wish you were my girlfriend.â
You took another deep breath, slower this time, but it didnât help. Your face felt hot, your pulse wouldnât settle, and worst of all, you couldnât even pretend it wasnât happening. What the fuck were you supposed to do with that information?Â
Normally you would have hung up by now, would have found some cutting remark to shut down whatever this was becoming. But maybe it was the exhaustion seeping into your bones, or the way his voice had gone so unsual gentle, that made you let it happenâthis slow unraveling of the careful distance youâd built between yourself and the voice that had somehow become more important to you than you wanted to admit
âYouâre insane.â
âYouâre beautiful.â
You pressed your forehead deeper into the crook of your arm, as if you could bury the whole situation under your sleeves. As if he couldnât still hear every shaky breath of yours over the radio.
âWhat? No comeback?â he teased. âYou really must be tired.â
âI hate how you say stuff like that,â you mumbled into your sleeve, âwhen you know Iâm too tired to fight back.â
âSounds like good timing, then.â
âYouâre the worst.â
âMhm. I like when you sound all sleepy,â he said, lower now, almost like he was smiling. âItâs really cute.â
âShouldnât you be asking if I have a boyfriend or something?â
âSounds like you want me to ask you.â
âI donât.â You exhaled slowly, turning your head so your cheek pressed against your arm. âIâm not looking for anything.â
âGood,â he said. âSo no boyfriend. Because it would be really awkward for me to take you to Paris if you had one. Boyfriends tend to get weird about that sort of thing.â
A soft laugh escaped before you could stop it. âYou donât even know me. Why are you so persistent?â
It was silent for a whileâso long it made your skin itch. You glanced at the console. Still active. But then his voice returned.
âBecause for months, your voice has been the only thing thatâs felt like home,â he said. âEvery flight, every approach, every time you say my call sign... it feels like coming home. And maybe thatâs stupid. Maybe Iâm just a pilot whoâs spent too many nights alone in hotels, wondering what itâd be like to hear you say my nameâmy real nameâjust once, but IâŠâ
The tower felt impossibly still around you, save for the sound of his soft breathing in your ear and the heavy press of something strange in your chest.
âFlight 447ââ
âCan I ask you something? And you can say no.â
ââŠWhat?â
âDo you want to switch to a private frequency?â
You shouldnât. It was a clear breach of communication policy. You knew that. But the tower was empty, Kai was distracted, and there was something in the way he said it that made you want to say yes so terribly much.
âFrequency 121.9,â you said.
âCopy that. Switching now.â
Your heart thudded. You flipped over to the private channel, palms slightly clammy against the controls, and waited.
âTower, this is Flight 447 on private frequency.â
âIâm here.â
You could hear the smile in his voice when he answered. âTell me something about you.â
âWhat do you want to know?â
âAnything. Doesnât matter. I just want to listen to your voice.â
You went quiet for a beat, still resting your head on your arms, the headset cord wrapped loosely around your fingers. Your body was heavy with exhaustion, but something warm had started to bloom low in your chest.
âThatâs⊠I donât know what to say.â
âStart simple. What did you have for breakfast?â
Despite everything, you almost smiled. âCoffee.â
âJust coffee?â He groaned. âThatâs terrible for you. You need read food.â
âSays the man who probably only eats airplane food and orders hotel room service.â
âI make great scrambled eggs, actually,â he said, a little smug. âSecret ingredient is a little cream cheese folded in at the end.â
âYou cook?â
âMhmm. And I make the best carbonara.â
âAccording to who?â
âAccording to me. And Iâm a very reliable source.â
You smiled again. âVery humble, too.â
âAbsolutely. So, what about you? What do you do when youâre not busy keeping pilots from crashing into each other?â
You surprised yourself by answering. You told him about the pottery class you barely had time for on weekends, how you were trying to teach yourself guitar but could only play three chords and a more or less decent version of âWonderwallâ. You admitted to watch trash reality TV while folding laundry, and how your poor balcony basil plant had died three times and counting despite your best efforts.Â
It just... flowed. And it felt good. Comforting, even.Â
You found yourself sharing more than you meant to, your voice softer than usual in the quiet of the tower, like the distance between you made it easier to be honest.Â
You hadnât realized until now how much youâd come to like hearing his voice. Not the cocky, smug tone he usually used on open frequencyâbut this version. Soff and warm in a way that felt almost intimate. Like he actually cared about your answer. Like he actually saw you, even from thirty thousand feet away.
You were quiet for a moment, then asked, âWhy did you become a pilot?â
A breath passed. Maybe two.
âI had a little sister. She died when she was twelveâleukemia.â He paused, and you could hear the slight hitch in his breathing. âShe was obsessed with those National Geographic documentaries, always making plans about all the places she wanted to seeâthe Andes in Peru, hiking the Highlands in Scotland, and seeing the Northern Lights in Iceland. She had this whole notebook full of destinations she wanted to visit, with pictures cut out from magazines.â
You didnât move, afraid even a shift might break the moment.
âShe never left Japan. Never even got on a plane. But the day before she died, she made me promise Iâd see the world for her. That Iâd go to all the places and tell her about them.â Another shaky breath. âSo I became a pilot. And every flight, every city, every sunset high above the cloudsâsheâs with me. I take pictures for her. Collect postcards.â His laugh barely held. âProbably sounds crazy.â
âIt doesnât sound crazy at all.â You sat up straighter in your chair and rolled your sleeves down, suddenly feeling the night airâs chill. âSo the postcards from ZurichâŠâ
âI brought one for her, and one for you. I thought... maybe youâd like it too.â
âFlight 447,â you said softly, unsure what else to do with the weight in your chest.
âShe wouldâve liked you,â he added. âShe always said the most important people are the ones who make you feel like homeâeven when youâre thirty thousand feet in the air, circling your home airport at in the middle of the night because you cannot land.â
You were silent for a while, unable to find words.
âControl? Can I ask you something else?â
ââŠYeah.â
âWould you like to go out with me?â
You didnât say anything at first. Didnât even breathe at first, hand hovering near the console, but instead of replying, you slowly set your headset down and stoodâlegs unsteady. You crossed the small space behind your chair, ran a hand through your hair, tried to get your lungs to work again.
You werenât ready. Not for this. Not for him sounding that sincere. He was still up there, circling in the dark, waiting for something you werenât sure you could give. You braced your hands on the edge of the desk, heart pounding, and finally lowered yourself back into the chair. Slipped the headset on again.
âIâŠâ you began, but the rest of the sentence never came. Your throat tightened too much.
âYou donât have to answer now. Just think about it, okay?â
Then Kaiâs voice cut through your main frequency. âControl Seven, runwayâs clear for your holding traffic.â
You switched back to the private frequency, your voice steadier than you felt.Â
âFlight 447, youâre cleared for approach, runway 24L. Wind 180 at 5 knots.â
âRoger, cleared for approach runway 24L.â
You hesitated, your finger trembling slightly on the radio button, then softly, âLand safe, Satoru.â
Silence stretched between you, each moment an unbearable weight as you waited for him to speak, with only the soft static of the frequency for company. When his voice finally came back, it was barely above a whisper.
âYouâre so unfair, Control. How am I supposed to sleep now that Iâve finally heard you say my name like that?â
Your chest tightened, a fragile tenderness settling in your chest, and you closed your eyes, lost in the sudden intimacy of the moment.
âSee you on the ground, Control⊠and sleep easy tonight.â
ââ ⹠·âžâž
After that night, everything changed.
What had once been the most frustrating part of your job had quietly become the part you looked forward to most. You told yourself it was just the routine, the familiarity. A comforting voice between the chaos. But when Flight 447âs call sign popped up on your radar, your chest would do that stupid flutter before your brain could stop it. And the professional distance youâd worked so hard to maintain began crumbling piece by fragile piece.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting vectors, and good morning to my favorite controller.â
You didnât even try to hide your smile anymore. âGood morning, Captain. Turn left heading 180, descend and maintain 4,000.â
âHowâs that terrible tower coffee treating you today?â
âStill tastes like mud. But itâs keeping me awake.â
âYou really need someone to bring you proper coffee sometime.â
âFlight 447, contact Approach on 119.7.â
âWill do, beautiful. Save me a cup of that mud, will you?â
You caught yourself still smiling after heâd switched frequencies.Â
Your colleagues noticed the change immediately. Maki would glance over with that knowing grin the second his call sign blinked onto your screen. Sometimes she didnât even say anythingâjust raised her eyebrows and took a dramatically loud sip of her green tea.
Even Ijichi who was usually so quiet and reserved, seemed to soften. Now, heâd offer a small, genuinely happy smile when Satoruâs voice came through the speakers, like a younger brother observing something inevitable unfold.
The conversations with Satoru grew longer, more personal. Heâd tell you about the cities he flew toâthe morning mist over Pragueâs cobblestone streets, the way the late afternoon sunlight painted the Alps during his approach to Munich, the bustling markets in Vienna that smelled like roasted chestnuts and warm strudel.
âThereâs this little bakery in Prague,â he said once. âSells cinnamon sugar spirals on a stick that taste like sugar bread. I picked some up for you and will drop them by your gate when I land, though they might be a bit smushed from the flight, but I swear theyâre really good.â
You imagined him standing there, maybe still in his uniform, coffee in one hand and some pastry in the other, sunlight filtering through narrow European streets. You wished you couldâve been there with him.
One Tuesday evening, he came on frequency a few minutes early. âI saw the Northern Lights last night for the first time,â he said, skipping all pretense of small talk. âOver Helsinki. It looked incredible. I took about a hundred photos, even though they donât do it justice, but⊠I tried.â
âYour sister wouldâve loved that.â
âYeah. She would have.â His voice grew soft. âI wish you could have seen them too. With me.â
You hadnât planned on any of this. You didnât know where it was going. But every word felt a little easier than the last. Like you were building something one flight at a time, stitched together from shared late night conversations, shared silences, and a voice that had somehow made its way under your skin. And you hadnât even seen his face.
At some point, the flirting had stopped feeling like a game. You werenât sure when the shift happened, only that it had. One day you were rolling your eyes at his compliments, and the next⊠you caught yourself smiling before he even switched on the mic.
Heâd compliment your voice and your hair heâd never even seen, and youâd toss something sharp right back at his ego. Heâd ask about your day like it mattered, and youâd ask how the clouds looked up there in the sky.Â
Somewhere between the banter and clearance codes, you stopped resisting the warmth that bloomed in your chest every time he called you beautiful. Stopped pretending it didnât matter. Stopped pretending you didnât wait for his call sign, or feel the flutter in your stomach when he said your call sign like it was something heâd been waiting all day to say.
âYou sound tired today,â he said one afternoon, somewhere over the East China Sea, his voice laced with concern.
You stifled a yawn. âDouble shift. Someone called in sick.â
âThatâs the third time this month. You need to take better care of yourself.â
âIâm fine.â
âWhenâs the last time you took a day off? And I mean not just sleeping in because you worked late, but actually doing something for yourself?â
You paused, thought about it, and realized you couldnât remember.
âThat settles it. When I get back from the Zagreb route next week, weâre going somewhere. Somewhere with decent coffee and food that doesnât come from a vending machine.â
âIs that a request or a demand, Captain?â
âItâs a promise.â
Late night conversations on the private frequency became your favorite kind of bad habit. You told yourself you werenât abusing the systemâyou just happened to monitor 121.9 a little more closely on nights when you knew he was in the air.
When the tower thinned out to near silence, leaving only the hum of the monitors, and his overnight flights aligned perfectly with your shifts, you always found a reason to switch channels.
âCanât sleep up there?â youâd ask when his voice came through the static.
âAutopilotâs handling the boring parts. Thought Iâd check on my favorite insomniac instead.â
âIâm not an insomniac,â youâd say, leaning into the console, exhausted but smiling. âIâm working.â
âItâs 3 AM. You should be in bed, curled up with a blanket and binge some Netflix.â
âSomeoneâs gotta guide the pretty pilots through the night sky.â
He never missed a beat. âJust one pretty pilot in particular, I hope. Otherwise I might get jealous.â
And you let him win these little exchanges. Because the truth was, the static of 121.9 had quietly become where you truly felt yourself. A place where your voice softened, where the walls came down, where you werenât Control Sevenâyou were just you. Tired, overcaffeinated, sometimes frustrated with everythingâbut somehow still able to breathe easier when his voice filled your headset.
You didnât have a name for what was growing between youâbut it was there. Steady. Constant. Cruising at altitude and waiting for the moment one of you was brave enough to land.
Those conversations could last hoursâhim circling above the Pacific while you guided other aircraft, both of you stealing moments between official duties to talk about everything and nothing. Heâd tell you about passengers heâd met, youâd share stories about the quirky new controller in the tower. Heâd describe the view from his cockpit, youâd explain what the radar looked like from your perspective.
âDo you ever wonder what it would be like if weâd met differently?â he asked one night.
âHow do you mean?â
âIf I wasnât a pilot, and you werenât up in a tower. If we just... bumped into each other at a grocery store or something.â
âWould you have still talked my ear off about arctic birds?â
âProbably.â He laughed. âThough I might have started with the weather like a normal person.â
âI donât think you know how to be normal, Captain.â
You found yourself looking forward to his flights. When Flight 447 appeared on your radar, it was like a switch flipped on inside your chest. And when his route changed and he wasnât there you caught yourself glancing at the flight board more than necessary. If his flight was delayed by weather or mechanical issues, youâd feel it settle heavy in your chest like stones until his call sign appeared on your screen.
âMiss me?â heâd tease whenever your shifts missed each other and the silence stretched too long.
âYou wish.â
âI do, actually. Horribly.â
You rolled your eyes, even though he couldnât see it. âThe frequencyâs been blessedly quiet without you. You wouldnât believe how efficiently I can work without your constant interruptions.â
âLiar. You were bored as hell.â
âFlight 447, Iâm transferring you to Approach before your big ego causes your plane to crash.â
âDonât you think itâs a little to late for that, Control? Itâs this big since you said my name that one time.â
You groaned, pressing your palm to your forehead, but you were smiling. Always smiling. And he knew it. You both did. And pretending otherwise had started to feel pointless.
ââŠI missed you.â
You leaned forward, arms crossed on the edge of your console, and hunched your shoulders, trying to shake off the shiver that traced down your spine at the sound of his voice in your ear.
âApproach is waiting, Captain.â
A few weeks had passed since that first private frequency conversation, and you still hadnât given him a direct answer about the date. But somewhere between his stories about sunrises over the Himalayas and your chaotic work anecdotes, the question had become less about whether and more about when. Even if you didnât have the courage to admit it yet.
âSo,â he said one Thursday evening, while preparing for approach, âabout that dateâŠâ
Your heart stuttered in the smallest, stupidest way.
âColleagues who happen to enjoy each otherâs company.â
âColleagues who work together professionally.â
âColleagues who talk on private frequencies at 2 AM about the Northern Lights and their horrible exes.â His voice carried that familiar teasing note. âCome on, whatâs the worst that could happen? I promise not to talk about aircraft separation minimums the whole time.â
âThe worst that could happen is that it gets complicated.â
âItâs already complicated.â
You were quiet for a moment, knowing he was right. You shifted slightly in your chair, fingers idly twirling the cable of your headset.
Later that night, you lay on your back in the dark, staring at the ceiling of your apartment as the last traces of twilight faded from deep purple to black outside your open window, and replayed every conversation, every laugh, every time heâd called you beautiful.
You were a grown woman. A professional. You managed emergencies, rerouted aircraft in storm systems, made decisions in mere seconds that kept hundreds of people safe every day.
And here you were. Heart in shambles over a man youâd never even seen in person.
It didnât make sense. Pilots are arrogant. Thatâs a universal truth youâd learned over the years in air traffic control. They walked through airports like they owned the sky, had egos the size of their aircraft, an attention span of a goldfish when it came to relationships, and probably a different girlfriend in every city.
Satoru was a pilot.Â
Therefore, by the sacred logic of the universe, he was a bad idea.
Youâd learned that lesson the hard wayâgiven your heart to people whoâd seemed so sure, so persistent, so convinced they wanted forever until they didnât. Until the reality of loving someone flawed and human became too much work, too complicated, too real.
But now here was himâpersistent, charming, relentless in his pursuit of something that existed only in radio waves and imagination. All he had was your voice and whatever fantasy heâd constructed around it. And fantasies, no matter how beautiful, eventually shattered when they met reality.
You didnât know much about him. Not his favorite movie, or if he was the type to do laundry right away or leave it on a chair for three days. You didnât know who broke his heart last, or what he looked like when he was nervous. You didnât even know if he wore glasses or if his hair curled when it rained.
For all you knew, he talked like this to every controller on every route. Maybe you were just one more frequency heâd tuned into. A novelty. A nice voice to pass the time.
Yet you knew he brought you gifts from cities youâd never visited. You knew he worried when you worked too many hours. You knew he talked to his dead sister through postcards and photographs, and somehow let you be a part of that grief. You knew the sound of his breathing thirty thousand feet above you, and sometimes wished you could fall asleep to it.
But this wasnât real. Whatever this wasâchemistry, attraction, some strange radio wave Stockholm syndromeâit couldnât be real. Real relationships required proximity, shared experiences, mundane Tuesday mornings and arguments over who left the bathroom light on. Not conversations between approach vectors and weather reports in the middle of the night.
Heâd never seen you laugh until your sides hurt, never witnessed you cry out of frustration. He didnât know that you were shy in crowds, that you overthought everything, that you had trust issues wrapped around your heart like scar tissue.
This was in between. A connection built in the air, not on the ground. And you were being smart by saying no. You were being practical. Responsible. You were doing what made sense.
But why did the idea of never knowing the warmth of his hand in yours make your chest ache like you were already grieving something that hadnât even had the chance to exist?
You rolled onto your side, pulled the covers up higher, and pressed your face into the pillow.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
It was one of those graveyard shifts where the world felt like it had gone still. Most of the world was asleep, save for you, a few stray cargo flights, and the quiet static of Flight 447 holding steady somewhere over the ocean. And him. Always him.
You were back on private frequency. What began, as it always did, with talk of altitudes and airspeed, soon shifted to stories of cities and people heâd met in Dublin and that little bakery heâd found in Budapest, that heâs sure of youâd love.
And then he told you about his ex-girlfriend whoâd left him because she couldnât handle the distance, the loneliness of hotel rooms. He spoke of his parents, whoâd always expected him to run the familyâs company, and how they still didnât understand why heâd chosen to spend his life in the sky.
You found yourself sharing more than you probably should, as you always did in these hushed momentsâyour failed engagement to a man whoâd wanted you to quit air traffic control because it was âtoo stressfulâ, your complicated relationship with your mother, and how sometimes, even now, it still felt like your worth came with conditions.
âI'm glad you told me,â Satoruâs voice was soft through the headset. And despite the exhaustion, your chest gave that familiar, traitorous flutter. âI love listening to your voice, especially when youâre being honest about things that matter.â
âSatoruâŠâ you said, without thinkingâhis name slipping out in a whisper that carried more weight than it should have.
âSay that again.â
âYour name?â
âYes,â he breathed, the single word aching. âPlease.â
You hesitated. Not because you didn't want toâbut because speaking it aloud meant acknowledging the weight it carried.
âSatoru,â you said again, slower this time. His name felt warm on your tongue, like something meant to be spoken softly, like a confession wrapped in a name.
On the other end of the line, silence stretched long enough to make your heart stutter.
âSatoru?â you asked. âAre you there?â
âIâm here. I was just⊠thinking.â
âAbout what?â
A beat.
âAbout how much I want to kiss you right now.â
Your breath caught so fast it hurt. Heat flooded your face and you pulled your headset off for a moment, pressing your palms against your burning cheeks.
You stood for a second, pacing a few slow steps behind your chair, trying to shake it off, to convince yourself you hadnât heard what you just heard. But your heart wouldnât stop racing, a wild bird trapped in your ribs, like your body was reacting to something your mind hadnât even begun to process, let alone given permission for.
Because part of you had desperately wanted to hear those words. And part of you didnât know what the hell to do with them now that they were real. You stared at the headset in your lap, hesitating. Wanting. Dreading.
After a few seconds, you slipped the headset back on.
âDid I scare you with that?â
âNo,â you said quietly. âItâs⊠itâs fine.â
âI mean it, you know. I really do want to kiss you.â
âThis is insane. Weâve never even met.â
âIt doesnât feel that way to me. Feels like Iâve known you forever.â
His words settled deep, heavier than the silence that followed. Something about them felt like a confession hanging between earth and sky, between personal and professional, between safe and what if.
âSatoruâŠâ
âI know how you take your coffee. I know how you sound when youâre tired, and what makes you laugh when youâre trying not to. I know you bite your lip when youâre concentratingâbecause I can hear it in your voice. And I know you put everyone else ahead of yourself even when you shouldnât. I know enough to care. And enough to want more.â A pause. âWhat else do I need to know?â
âWhat I look like, for starters.â
âI donât care.â
âYou donât care?â
âNo, because itâs your voice I think about at night. Thatâs what drew me in. The rest⊠it never mattered.â
You sat there, heartbeat loud in your ears, not sure how to breathe, let alone how to respond.
âSay something,â he whispered. âPlease.â
âI donât know what to say.â
âSay youâll have coffee with me. Say youâll give me a chance to see the woman Iâve fallen for.â
Your breath caught again. âFallen for?â you repeated, like maybe saying it aloud would help you believe it.
âYes. Completely, hopelessly fallen for.â
Your hands liftedâwithout thinking, almost desperateâand pressed against the headset like you could pull his voice closerâpull him closer. Part of you wanted him to say it again. Needed to hear it, to make sure it was real. And another part wished he hadnât said it at all. Because now it was alive between you. Irrevocable.
âIâŠâ You stopped, swallowed, tried again. âI have toââ You panicked and switched back to the main frequency. âIjichi? Can you take over Flight 447 for me? I need to step out for a second.â
âYeah,â you said. âJust need a bathroom break.â
You yanked the headset off and fled to the small restroom down the hall, slammed the lock shut, and leaned back against the door as if afraid his words might follow you in.
You turned on the faucet, splashing cold water onto your face. Droplets clung to your lashes and slid down your neck. Still, the heat in your skin wouldnât go away, chest rising and falling too fast.
What is happening?Â
He couldnât be serious. He couldnât just⊠fall for your voice. That wasnât how this worked. That wasnât how any of this worked. You hadnât even met him. You didnât know what his laugh looked like when it reached his eyes. He didnât know how you looked when you werenât exhausted. And yetâ
Yet here you were, breathless in a dim airport bathroom in the middle of the night, heart racing like you were the one whoâd made the confession.
This is insane. He is a pilot. Probably talks like this to every other control tower from Berlin to Bangkok. But whyâGod, whyâdid you want to kiss him back so badly?
ââ ⹠·âžâž
You took a week off without telling him.
It was cruelâyou knew that. But you needed time. Time to breathe. Time to think. Time to stop feeling like you were going to fly apart every time you heard his voice. But distance didnât feel like space. It felt like ache.
You spent most of that week alone in your apartment, curled into corners of yourself you hadnât visited in years. You rearranged your bookshelves. Watered your plants twice in one day. Cleaned your windows until they gleamed like they havenât in years.Â
And still, none of it helped. You ended up lying on your back in your bed, just⊠thinking. Wondering if he was worried. If he noticed the silence. If he regretted saying what he did.
You replayed the conversation endlessly, like a scratched record stuck on the moment his voice had dropped, tender and fragile with something like a confession.Â
Completely, hopelessly fallen for.Â
You could still hear it. Still feel the way your lungs had stuttered.
You hadnât meant to fall for him. But you had.
Maybe it started the moment he told you that your voice felt like coming home to him. Or maybe it was the first time he opened up about his sister, the way his voice caught halfway through the sentence, like he was still learning how to hold that grief in his mouth. Or maybe it was even before that, when he brought you chocolate from Zurich and called you special to customs agents heâd never meet again.
You wanted to kiss him then. You want to kiss him now. And that terrified you more than anything. Not because it wasnât real, but because youâd wanted it to be real for so long without even realizing. But wanting and admitting were two different things.Â
So instead, you wrapped yourself in quiet and waited for the ache to fade. It didnât. You thought it would. You thought time would create space, and space would give you clarity. But it didnât, and the ache only grew stronger.
By day three, you caught yourself checking the flight tracking apps, wondering if he was flying the skies above you, if his voice was somewhere out there asking another controller for vectors. If heâd call them âbeautifulâ too.
By day four, you were questioning whether radio silence was mature or just cowardly, and by day five, you were actively pacing your apartment, cursing yourself for disappearing and cursing him for making you feel this way in equal measures.
You heard the familiar drone of an aircraft passing overhead through your open window and stopped your pacing instantly, tilting your head toward the sound as it grew louder, then began to fade.
Was that him? His flight cutting through the darkness with some other controller guiding him home? Someone elseâs voice in his headset? The thought made you sick.
Your phone buzzed against the kitchen counter. A text from Maki. âYour pilot boyfriend keeps asking where you are.â
You stared at the message for a long time. Not because you didnât care, but because you didnât know what to say. Because how could you possibly say I miss him without it sounding like you were already halfway in love. And maybe you were.
****
You returned on day six. Not because you were ready, or because the questions had answers, or your chest had stopped aching when his name passed through your thoughts, but because Tokyoâs sky was falling apart and there was no more time left to hide.
The call came at 3:42 AMâall available controllers needed immediately. Level four emergency.
You barely had time to pull on your uniform, hair still damp from the shower, as you rushed past stranded passengers sleeping on benches and gate agents with phones pressed to both ears, while overhead an urgent announcement looped in four languages.Â
A massive weather front had swept across the Pacific, turning Tokyoâs airspace into chaos. Delayed flights, emergency diversions, aircraft running low on fuel circling in holding patterns, waiting for safe corridors to open. But when you reached your workstation, you stopped.
Flowers.Â
A small, beautiful arrangement of white roses and babyâs breath in a clear glass vase.
âHe sends them every day,â Maki said, appearing beside you with a stack of weather reports. âAsks if someone can place them on your desk. In case you come back.â
You couldnât speak, only stared at the petals, watching one tremble in the air conditioning draft. Something fragile inside your chest pulled taut.Â
Six days.Â
Heâd been sending flowers to an empty chair for six days.
âYou okay?â Maki asked.
âIâm good,â you managed, swallowing hard. âI need toââ But there was no time.Â
âTower, this is Flight 892, requesting immediate vectors around weather cell bearing 270.â
For the next three hours, there was no room left for feelings. You were too busy handling all the alternate airport requests, fuel emergencies, and missed approaches that required immediate rerouting.
âFlight 315, turn right heading 180, descend to 8,000. Moderate turbulence ahead, advise caution.â
Every call you answered felt like a life being tossed into your hands. You held on tight. You didnât shake. At least, not on the outside.Â
A sudden, blinding flash from outside momentarily bleached the room, then plunged it back into deeper shadow as rain lashed heavily against the towerâs windows.
And then, between the tangle of signals and storm interference, a call sign you knew like your own name lit up your screen.Â
Flight 447.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting vectors through weather, andââ He pausedâlike heâd caught the shaky breath you hadnât meant to let slip through. âControl, is that you?â
It shouldnât have undone you like that. But it did. Your knees went weak under your console. Relief flooded through you at the sound of his voice, alive and safe. Your throat tightened around a dozen things you wanted to say, but there was no time.
âFlight 447, turn left heading 090, descend to 6,000. Thereâs a gap in the storm cell at your two oâclock.â
âRoger, left 090, down to 6,000.â A beat. âItâs good to hear your voice again.â
You wanted to respond, to explain, to apologize for disappearing like a coward, but four other aircraft were calling for attention at the same time and the storm was intensifying still.
âFlight 447, be advised, severe turbulence ahead. Recommend immediate deviation right, heading 130.â
âNegative, weâre already committed to this approach. Weâll ride itââ
Then nothing. The radio snapped to static, then went silent.
You stood up so fast your chair rolled backward and bumped into the console behind you. One hand clutched the headset tighter to your ear, the other braced against your desk.
âFlight 447, come in.â
No response.
âSatoru, do you copy?â
Still nothing. Only white noise.
Lightning split the sky outside, followed by a deep, rattling roar of thunder that vibrated through the control room. But all you could hear was the terrifying silence where his voice shouldâve been.
Your hand trembled as you keyed the mic. âFlight 447, please respond.â
Then, finally, cutting through the noise, âControl. Iâm here. Lost comms for a moment there.â
You sank back into your chair like your legs had stopped working, the adrenaline suddenly too much to hold. You rested your forearms on the edge of the console, hands trembling slightly as you leaned in, pressing your forehead against them, trying to steady the frantic beat of your heart against your ribs.Â
âWhatâs with the silence now,â he whispered softly. âWere you worried about me, love?â
Love.
Heâd never said that before. Beautiful, gorgeous, honeyâbut never this. Not like that. Not so soft and tender, like youâd been his love for so long that saying it was simply acknowledging what already existed, what had been waiting patiently in his chest for the right moment to slip free. And never had you been so stupidly, helplessly happy to hear a single word.
He is alive. He is safe. And heâd called you love.
âFlight 447, confirm youâre okay.âÂ
âWeâre fine. Bumpy ride, but nothing we canât handle.â
Neither of you said anything for a moment.
âIâve missed you.â
Your throat tightened. Six days of silence. Six days of waiting, wondering, and avoiding the thing you were most afraid to admit. Six days of white roses waiting for your return, and here he was, relieved to hear your voide again like you were something precious heâd thought heâd lost.Â
As if your absence had mattered.Â
As if heâd missed you the way youâd missed him.
âThank you,â you said. âFor the flowers.â
âYou donât have to thank me. Just⊠donât go quiet on me again, okay? Itâs hard to feel like Iâm coming home when youâre not the one guiding me there.â
You closed your eyes, the ache blooming hot behind your ribs. Coming home. How could he say things like that so easily? How could he make you feel like you were drowning and flying at the same time with just a handful of words spoken through radio static?
And the worst part was how easily he said itâlike you really were his home, his anchor point in all that vast sky. Like this thing between you wasnât just something imagined, but something real enough to miss, something worth coming back to.
âI wonât,â you said, barely above a whisper.
âPromise?â
âI promise.â
And you meant it. Whatever had made you run, whatever fear had driven you to take that week offâit felt so stupidly irrelevant compared to the relief of knowing he was safe. Of knowing somewhere above the clouds, heâd been looking for your voice.
âSee you on the ground, beautiful.â
And then the line went silent.
Your eyes stayed locked on his radar symbol, unwilling to look away, tracking his descent as if your gaze alone could guide him safely down. Your eyes drifted to the flowers beside your console, your chest tight with guilt because youâd been too much of a coward to face what you felt for him.Â
What was holding you back when he was right there? Wanting you, missing you enough to notice your absence, calling you love so tenderly. What was so terrifying about someone who made you feel like the most important voice in his sky?
He missed you. Wanted you. And you missed him like the sky misses his stars in daylight. Now he was descending through storm clouds, almost within reach, and you still didnât know how to say any of it.
You watched his altitude drop.
8,000 feet.Â
6,000.
4,000.
Each number bringing him closer to solid groundâcloser to you.
Then another violent gust tore across the runway. A sharp gasp cut through the tower, everyone suddenly stood and looked out the windows as Flight 447 broke through the storm clouds, lurching violently sideways. The planeâs wings tilted at a sickening angle, fighting against the crosswind as it dropped like a stone before catching itself.
Your heart flatlined.
âMaki, can you cover for me?â you asked, voice tight, already moving.
She looked away from the window. âWhat? Yeah, butââÂ
You were gone. Down the tower stairs, past security who barely glanced at your badge, through the restricted access door and straight into the teeth of the storm. Didnât matter that you were soaking wet or that this was completely against protocol. All you knew was you had to see him.
Rain hit you immediately like ice, instantly soaking through your uniform, but you didnât slow. Across the runway, Flight 447 was coming in hard. You watched it slam onto the wet asphaltâone heavy bounce, then another, the aircraft struggling to find purchase on the waterlogged asphalt before finally coming to a halt with a loud screech of brakes.
Not a crash. But rough enough to stop your breathing.
You ran faster, shoes splashing through puddles as emergency crews rushed past you toward the plane. The aircraft had stopped crooked on the runway, passenger stairs already being rolled into position as ground crew in bright orange vests hurried around the scene.
 It was stupid, so stupid. You didnât even know what he looked like. But thenâ
You saw him. For the first time in your life.
He stepped out of the cockpit door, tall and undeniably handsome even amidst the chaos. His hair was drenched form the rain, plastered back from his forehead, his pilotâs uniform soaked and wrinkled. He was looking around slowly, searching through the crowd with a furrowed brow and eyes the exact impossible blue youâd somehow always known theyâd be. And thenâ
And then his gaze found yours. And everything stopped. No thunder. No wind. No roar of engines or shouts from the crew.
Your eyes met across the storm, and the world fell away. You had never seen this man before, but it didnât feel that way. It felt like remembering. There was no question, no doubt, no moment of uncertaintyâyou knew it was him the same way you knew your own heartbeat.
The voice youâd fallen for belonged to this man, this beautiful and insufferable pilot who was staring at you like heâd just found something heâd been searching for his entire life.Â
And now heâd found you.
You ran toward him through the chaos, feet splashing through more puddles, rain streaming down your face. He moved toward you too, taking the metal steps down from the plane two at a time, his hand sliding along the wet railing.Â
You met in the middle of the runway, both out of breath, both drenched to the bone. Rain clung to his white lashes as he stared at youâthose impossible blue eyes youâd imagined a hundred times now real, locked on your face like you were the only thing in the world. And yes, they were just as blue as a winter sky. Up close, he was somehow even more beautiful than youâd let yourself believe.
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, suddenly at a complete loss for words. âWould you like to go out with me?â you finally managed, having to raise your voice over the wind and rain.
Satoru blinked, his hair plastered against his forehead. A slow, handsome smile spread across his face.
âYeah,â he said, voice rough with emotion. âIâd really like that.â
And then he was moving, one hand sliding around your waist while the other came up to cradle your face, thumb brushing away raindropsâor maybe tears, you couldnât tell anymore. He pulled you closer, bridging the last inches like heâd been waiting forever to do it.
When he kissed you, it was like coming home after being lost for years. Desperate and tender, months of longing finally given form. His lips were impossibly soft against yours, warm despite the cold rain, and you could taste the storm on his mouth, feel the way his breath caught when you kissed him back.
Rain poured around you as you finally, finally kissed the voice that had become your everything.
When you broke apart, both breathless, he rested his forehead against yours. His hands trembled slightly where they held you, like he still couldnât believe this was real.
âGod, youâre so beautiful,â he whispered.
Then he was kissing you again, deeper this time, pouring months of missed chances and sleepless nights into the space between your lips. His grip tightened on your waist. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted from the ground and spun once, twice, in the pouring rain like you weighed nothing at all.
Storm clouds churned overhead and emergency crews moved around you, but it felt like you were the only two people in the worldâsuspended in this perfect moment between earth and sky and the the feeling of finally being found.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
A few weeks later.
âCareful with that,â Satoru warned as you briefly touched a panel of switches, his hand catching your wrist gently. âUnless you want to explain to the airline why we accidentally activated the emergency slides in the hangar.â
You were perched in the captainâs seat of his Boeing 777, legs tucked beneath you as you took in the array of countless instruments, screens, and controls that made up his office thirty thousand feet above the ground. The cockpit was smaller than youâd imagined, more intimate, every surface covered with buttons and displays that somehow made sense to him.
âYou actually understand all of this?â
âEach and every switch, gauge, and warning light.â He leaned over you from where he stood beside the captainâs seat, his chest brushing your shoulder as he pointed to different instruments. âSee this? Itâs the primary flight displayâshows our altitude, airspeed, heading. Thatâs the navigation display, weather radar hereâŠâ
You could smell his cologne, feel the warmth of his body as he leaned in closer to point out the next display. You loved watching him like thisâthe way he lit up when talking about his aircraft, completely absorbed in every detail with that endearing kinda nerdy side of his. But being this close to him made it hard to focus on anything he was saying when all you could think about was the way his voice rumbled low near your ear.
âAnd this,â he continued, reaching around you to tap a small screen, his arm caging you in against the seat, âshows exactly how beautiful my air traffic controller looks in my chair.â
You turned to find his face inches from yours. His sky blue eyes caught the gentle light like glass, impossibly clear, and for a second, you forgot how to breathe.
âThatâs not what that screen shows.â
âNo? Then why canât I look away from it?â
âYouâre stupid.â But you were smiling, tilting your head back against the headrest to maintain eye contact. âShow me something else.â
âDemanding little controller.â His fingers trailed along the overhead panel, flipping switches as he spoke. âThese control cabin pressure, air conditioning, electrical systemsâŠâ
You sank deeper into the chair, letting his soothing voice wash over you.
âThese are the autopilot controls.â His hand moved again. âThis button engages the systemâbasically tells the plane to fly itself according to the flight plan weâve programmed.â His finger moved to another switch. âThis one controls altitude hold, and this manages our heading.â
âBut hereâs the most important thing.â Satoru reached toward a small compartment near the instrument panel and pulled out a photo of the two of you from that stormy nightâcompletely drenched, kissing in the rain. It was blurry as hell and underexposed, and absolutely perfect.
âI still canât believe Hana managed to get this shot,â you said, taking it from him. âShe really thought âOh, what a perfect time for a pictureâ while there was literally an emergency evacuation going on.â
Satoru laughed. âBut arenât you gald she took it?â
âWe look absolutely stupid.âÂ
Your hair was plastered to your face, his uniform wrinkled and soaked, but you both looked happy. Really happy.
âYou look perfect,â he said, leaning closer. âAnd you were so cute when you had that total meltdown thinking something happened to me.â
âI did not have a meltdownââ
âYou ran across an active runway. In a storm.â He traced the edge of the photo with his finger, smiling. âMy professional, composed controller lost her cool because she was worried about her pilot.â
âYouâre insufferable.â
âIâm just sayingââ He leaned back against the instrument panel, clearly enjoying this. âFor someone who spent months pretending to hate my guts, you certainly changed your mind when you thought I might be hurt.â
âI was worried about you.â
His smile softened. âYou didnât have to.â He paused, then reached out, gently cupping your face. âNo matter how rough the storm or the landing, Iâm never really lostânot when I know youâre there. You always guide me home safely.â
âYouâre stupid.â
âStupidly in love, yeah,â he murmuredâand then he kissed you.
What started soft and slow quickly turned heated. You pulled him closer by his tie, and he braced his hand against the seat beside your head, his tongue sliding against yours as his mouth pressed hungrily to yours.
âController,â Satoru said between kisses, his voice already rough. âWhat exactly are you starting here?â
âIâm not starting anything,â you said, even though your fingers were already working his tie loose.
âClearly.â
You rose from the chair and tugged gently at his loosened tie and he followed without resistance. With a gentle push to his chest, you guided him down into the captainâs seat. He let himself fall back into it, eyes locked on yours. Without a word, you climbed into his lap, straddling him. His hands found your waist immediately, pulling you close as his mouth met yours again like he couldnât stand another second apart.
âMy breakâs over in fifteen,â you murmured against his lips. âAnd the planeâs grounded for another hour. No one should be around.â
He pulled back just enough to give you a look. âWait⊠did you check the maintenance schedule before coming here?â
âMaybe.â
âGod,â he groaned against your mouth, his hands gliding up your back. âDo you even know what you do to me?â
âIâm just making efficient use of our time, Captain,â you whispered, rolling your hips slightly and feeling him tense beneath you. âIsnât that what good air traffic control is about? Proper scheduling and all that?â
His laugh came out breathless, strained. âPretty sure this isnât in any manual Iâve read.â
âThen I guess youâll have to improvise.â You threaded your fingers through his white hair and pulled him closer. âYouâre good at handling unexpected situations, arenât you?â
Whatever he was about to say dissolved as he caught your lips again, urgency building in the small space between your bodies. One hand slipped beneath your shirt, warm fingers tracing the curve of your lower back, while the other gripped your thigh possessively.
You started undoing the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, impatience bleeding into every movement. Fabric slipped from his shoulders as you pushed it off. You pressed your hands against his bare chest, feeling the rapid thud of his heartbeat under your palms and traced slowly down over his abs, earning a rough groan of his against your lips.
âWhy do I get the feeling this was your plan all along?âÂ
Satoru tugged at your shirt, easing it off your shoulders as his lips trailed along your collarbone, then down to the strap of your bra, pushing it aside to press kisses to the skin beneath.
âSays the man undressing me in his cockpit,â you managed, though your voice caught when his mouth found your neck and sucked lightly.
âI canât believe you let me ramble about navigation systems for ten minutes straight when this was your plan.â
âYouâre cute when youâre being all professional and nerdy.â
âYouâre terrible.âÂ
His hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer until you could feel him hard and pressing through his uniform. A soft sound escaped your lips before you could stop it, and his mouth crashed back onto yours, like he was trying to steal every moan before it left your lips.
âCareful. Donât want us getting caught, right?â
You barely heard him. Your hands dropped to his belt, leather unfastening fast. It didnât take long to push aside everything that wasnât necessary. You were both nothing if not efficient, after all. And the last threads of restraint snapped as Satoruâs hands slid up your bare thighs, fingers hooking beneath your underwear and pulling it aside.
His head tipped back against the seat, breath catching as you moved against him. âFuck,â he whispered, hands gripping your waist and pulling you closer as you found your rhythm together. His mouth on yours again, swallowing the soft sounds neither of you could hold back.
Surrounded by the controls and countless displays, the cockpit windows slowly fogging from your heated breathing, you couldnât help but think about how it all started. This was where it beganâthirty thousand feet above the world, suspended between earth and sky in the place where his voice had first found yours. From that very first radio call, from the moment heâd called you beautiful, it had always been leading here.Â
As if inevitable.
Now, with your hands mapping his skin and your name falling from his lips in soft moans, it felt like coming full circle. From air traffic control to this. From âFlight 447â to âSatoru.â From guiding him home to finally being home.
And that felt pretty damn good.
ââ ⹠·âžâž
Six months later.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting permission to land and take my gorgeous girlfriend out for dinner tonight,â came the voice you loved through your headset, smooth as always despite the late hour.
You rolled your eyes, though you smiled. âFlight 447, you do realize the entire tower can hear you, right?â
âEven better. Let them all know how lucky I am.â
Around the control tower, your colleagues had long since stopped pretending to be annoyed by Satoruâs radio flirtations. Maki still teased you about how cute you both sounded over the frequency, and even Ijichi had gotten used to the intimate banter without blushing like a teenage boy whoâd accidentally walked into a lingerie store.
The gifts never stopped coming. From Vilnius, heâd brought a handwritten pierogi recipe from an elderly woman heâd chatted with during his layoverâand it was surprisingly good when he made it for you on the weekend. He did not lie when he told you heâs a good cook.Â
From Faro came a hand painted pot for the basil plant youâd surely kill again, but it didnât matter as heâd secretly replace it in the middle of the night so youâd think youâd finally managed to keep a plant alive and see your happy smile. Seville brought oranges heâd handpicked from the city gardens, and Barcelona brought a gorgeous Picasso art book.
And, of course, every trip came with two postcards. One for you, and one for his sister. Youâd started framing the ones meant for her and hanging them throughout his apartment for him.
âYou know you donât have to bring me something from every city,â youâd told him after heâd brought more expensive chocolate from Zurich.
âLet me spoil my girl,â heâd replied simply, watching you take a bite. âBesides, all you see is that boring tower all day. You deserve a little treat.â
The radio banter had only gotten worseâor better, depending on your perspective.
âTower, Flight 447 requesting vectors to your heart.â
âFlight 447 keep it professional or Iâm diverting you to Osaka.â
âOof. Brutal. But if you send me to Osaka, youâll never see what I brought you from Rome.â
Your colleagues had started keeping a list of his most ridiculous radio calls. âFlight 447 requesting visual on the prettiest controller in the hemisphereâ was Makiâs current favorite, while Ijichi still cringed about the time Satoru had asked for âRequesting altitude adjustment because I just fell for youâagain.â
Yeah. It was absolutely cheesy.
Moving in together happened gradually, then all at once. Your clothes moved to his closet, your coffee mugs replaced all of his ugly ones in the kitchen, and suddenly your shift schedule was magnetted to his refrigerator beside his flight rotations. One day, you realized you were planning your lives around each other without ever having had the conversation.
âYour apartmentâs bigger,â youâd pointed out, when you finally made it official.
âYours has the better balcony. But mineâs closer to the airport.â
âSo, your place then. But Iâm bringing my good coffee maker.â
âAnd wonât let me see that adorable little wince you do at my terrible coffee in the morning? Youâre heartless.â
But the real adjustment wasnât space or schedules. It was learning each otherâs bodies with the same intensity youâd spent months learning each otherâs voices. After all, with falling in love through radio static, there was a lot of missed physical intimacy to make up for.
Some weekends you didnât even make it out of your shared apartment, too consumed with discovering each other all over again. Your back hit the mattress with a soft thud, sheets warm beneath you as he settled over you, pressing kisses to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone like he couldnât decide where to focus first.
âI used to fantazise about this,â he murmured between kisses.
âAbout what?â
âThis.â His voice dropped lower, lips bruising your throat. âWhat youâd sound like when you werenât trying so hard to be professional⊠imagining the sounds youâre making now, how youâd moan my name with that pretty voice of yours.â
You pulled him closer, lips finding his again, his tongue hot against yours.
 âYeah?â
He smiled against your mouth. âYou have no idea how many nights I imagined the taste of your skin. How many times I lay awake wondering if your thighs would shake when I fucked you hard enough.â
Your breath stuttered, hands gripping his shoulders like they were the only steady thing left. âGood thing weâve got time now to find out.â
âYeah. And I plan on making up for all of it,â he whisperedâjust before his fingers slipped between your thighs, and you forgot how to speak altogether.
And you did make up for lost time. Learning that he was somehow even more affectionate and thorough in person than over the radio.Â
In the quiet of your bedroom, with the curtains drawn and the world hushed beyond the walls, you discovered each other slowly. Â
How he always shivered when you traced patterns across his abs. How you had a small scar just below your ribcage from a childhood fall that he found with his lips, kissing along your skin until you arched beneath him. How your body tensed and then melted completely when his mouth worked between your legs, drawing sounds from you that made him groan against your skin.
You learned the weight of his arm draped over you, holding you close when he was moving from behind, and how soothing it felt when his fingers traced lazy patterns on your shoulder until sleep claimed you both. Discovered that lazy morning sex, followed by his surprisingly good scrambled eggs, was the perfect way to start any day.
You spent hours like this, days even, learning the language of each otherâs bodies with a thoroughness that left no inch unexplored and no fantasy unfulfilled.
âYou know,â he said one evening, pulling you into his lap while you tried to review approach procedures on the couch, âI spent so many nights wondering what it would be like to touch you while you worked.â
âAnd now?â
âNow I get to find out what happens when I do thisââ His lips found that sensitive spot on your neck, making you gasp and completely forget what youâd been reading. âWhile youâre trying to be all professional.â
âThatâs unfair.â
âThatâs what makes it fun.â
The night everything changed started like any other. Weather delays had backed up traffic for hours, leaving Satoru circling above the Pacific in a holding pattern while you worked through the endless stream of aircraft. It was past midnight, the tower hushed and dim, when you finally switched to private frequency.
âBored up there, Captain?â
âNever bored when Iâm talking to you. Though I was thinkingâŠâ
âDangerous pastime for you.â
âWeâre both stuck here for the next few hours. You, managing this beautiful chaos from your tower. Me, alone with the stars at thirty thousand feet.â His voice carried that familiar warmth that always made something flutter in your chest. âFeels like the perfect date to me.â
You ended up talking for three hours, switching between official vectors and private topics, guiding other aircraft while Satoru described the city lights below and the way clouds shimmered like winter frost in the moonlight.
âStrange how this all started, donât you think?â you mused during a quiet moment. âTwo voices falling for each other over radio frequency.â
âYouâre not having second thoughts, are you?â
âNo. Itâs just⊠kind of crazy, isnât it? All of this.â
He was silent for a beat. When he spoke again, his voice was differentânervous, almost fragile.
âCan I ask you something?â
âOf course.â
âWill you marry me?â
Your heart stopped.
âI know itâs not how this is supposed to go. I know itâs not normal. But then again, nothing about us has been. Iâm thirty thousand feet in the air, youâre down there keeping the world together, and all I can think about is how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you.â
Time stretched thin in the control room as you struggled to process what heâd just asked, your heart thundering so loud you were sure he could hear it through the frequency.
âYes,â you whispered, the word barely more than a breath as you leaned forward, elbows braced against the console. Your hands trembled as you pressed them to your face, overwhelmed by the rush of joy and disbelief.
âYes?â
âYes. Iâll marry you.â
He let out a heavy breath. âGod, I love you. You just made me the happiest man alive. I swear, if I could pull down every star from up here and give them to you, I would.â
You blinked back tears, smiling. âJust come home safe, you idiot.â
âAlways,â he said, and his voice had never sounded more sure. âYour voice guides me home, remember? It always has.â
You thought youâd mapped every corner of him after six months of living togetherâevery habit, every sleepy morning routine, every sound he makes when he cums.
But then came the private jet revelation over scrambled eggs on a random Friday morning.
Youâd known he came from moneyâthe expensive gifts, the way he never seemed to stress about finances and had this really fancy apartmentâbut you hadnât grasped the scale until he casually mentioned his fatherâs company owned a fleet of corporate aircraft.
âI was thinking we should take some time off and explore the world a little,â he said, like offering to fly you around the world was the same as suggesting takeout for dinner. âWe could take one of the jets.â
âWait wait wait⊠you have access to a private jet?â
âTechnically, I have access to several.â
Your spoon slipped out of your hand and landed in your eggs.
The first time he took you somewhereâa long weekend in Kyoto for cherry blossom seasonâyou finally understood why heâd fallen in love with flying.Â
Up there, suspended between heaven and earth, everything felt different. The world spread out below like a map, cities reduced to scattered lights and rivers threading silver through green landscapes. You watched his hands move over the controls, the same hands that traced gentle patterns on your skin at night, now guiding you both through layers of cloud and sky.
âSo this is what you see every day?â you asked, staring out at clouds that looked close enough to touch.
âThis is what I used to see.â He glanced over at you. âNow I only see you.â
It started with short weekend trips, then longer stays overseas when both your schedules allowed it. He took you everywhere you wanted to go.
Venice, he bought you both gelato and told you stories about the Murano glass blowers. Barcelona, where you got lost in Gaudiâs wild architecture and found tiny tapas bars nestled in medieval alleyways. And Iceland, where the Northern Lights painted the sky green and purple while you kissed in a natural hot springâfinally experiencing all the places heâd described to you over radio waves. But now you experienced them together.
âYour sister would have loved this,â you said Reykjavik, wrapped in his arms under the dancing aurora.
âShe would have loved you,â he replied, pulling you closer in the warm water. âShe always said the best adventures were the ones you shared with someone who made you feel at home.â
âRemember when you used to tell me about this place?â you asked one evening in Prague, watching him order those cinnamon sugar spirals from the same bakery heâd told you about months ago over the radio.
He handed you the warm pastry with a smile. âI remember wishing you were here when I first tried it. I used to imagine what youâd say about the cobblestones, or if youâd laugh at my terrible pronunciation when I tried to order something local.â
You took a bite, sugar melting on your tongue. âAnd now?â
âNow I get to see your face when you taste it for the first time.â He pulled you close, the golden hour painting everything warm around you. âNow I get to hold your hand instead of describing how the sunset looks over the Charles Bridge. I donât have to imagine anymore.â
Each trip revealed new layers of himâand new ways to make up for all those months of being just voices to each other.Â
Somewhere over the Atlantic, you learned just how good he was at multitaskingâokay, autopilot might have helpedâhis hands tangled in your hair, mouth on yours, while the stars streaked past the windows. Long afternoons in Parisian hotel rooms, rain drumming against the windows while you learned exactly how sensitive he gets when overstimulated. Sunset on private beaches in Thailand, where he discovered the sweet sounds you make when he uses three fingers instead of two.Â
âI used to get hard just from hearing your voice,â he admitted one night in Santorini, pushing in deep while the Aegean sparkled below your terrace.
âJust from my voice?â
âEspecially when youâd get that stern controller tone. âFlight 447, maintain current heading.ââ His breath caught as you clenched around him, fingers finding yours and intertwining where he pressed them into the mattress. âYou have no idea what that did to me.â
âShow me what it did to you.â
He did, thoroughly and repeatedly, until you understood exactly how much heâd wanted you during all those professional exchanges.
The wedding happened a year later, simple and perfect in a garden overlooking Tokyo Bay. Satoru insisted on writing his own vows, and when the moment came, he pulled out a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like a flight plan.Â
He promised to pull down the stars for you if you ever wanted them, and you vowed to always be his voice guiding him home.
Years passed like this.
At some point, your story was known by everyone at the airport. Everyone was swooning over the perfect love story of two people who fell in love over their voices alone.
But the best parts were always the quiet moments. Morning coffee in your shared kitchen while he planned routes and you reviewed approach procedures. Afternoons when heâd surprise you at the tower with flowers and terrible jokes that made you ground and your colleagues laugh. Evenings curled up together planning the next adventure, his pilot charts spread across the coffee table next to approach manuals and takeout containers.
âWhere to next?â
âAnywhere you want,â was always his answer. âAs long as weâre flying together.â
And through it all, some things remained beautifully constantâthe flutter in your stomach when his call sign appeared on your screen, his voice calling from the sky, yours answering from the tower, and the way he still brought you something from every city.
âTower, this is Flight 447 requesting permission to kiss my beautiful wife once I land. And yes, I know this is a public frequency, and yesâI want everyone to hear it.â
âFlight 447, youâre the worst.â
His laugh crackled through the radio. âI love you,â he said, still completely, hopelessly in love.
And every time he landed, every time you watched his plane touch down safely on the runway, that same warmth bloomed in your chest, just like it had from the very first day. Because no matter how many flights he took, how many cities he visited, how many years passedâhe always came back to you.
After all, your voice had been the one calling him home from the very beginning.
The End
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author's note â wait ! before you go ! if you enjoyed this story, iâd be forever grateful if youâd consider gifting me a few minutes of your time to participate in a research survey for my masterâs thesis in psychology (if you haven't already) <3
here's the link.
itâs completely anonymous, but just a heads-up: the survey touches on nightmares and emotional wellbeing, so it may be sensitive for some. please feel free to stop at any point if it doesnât feel right for you.
thank you for flying with insufferable pilot gojo airlines ! please make sure your heart is in the upright position before disembarking. hope this brought you as much joy to read as it brought me to write hehe. somehow i love this idea so much of pilot gojo being completely smitten over a voice alone :')) <3
and sorry that this got unexpectedly horny at the end, my apologies lol. until next time, this is your author signing off. safe travels !
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summary: when your top model meets with an accident that keeps him off his feet for a while, you have no choice but to take on the arrogant Qi Rafayel in his absence. dealing with a creative rut and a temperamental model who has endless amounts of audacity when you have fashion week to worry about is no easy task, and he certainly doesn't make it any better.....does he?
themes: strangers to lovers, co-workers to lovers, mild enemies/annoyances to lovers, celebrity! au, model! rafayel, fashion designer! mc, fluff, angst, slowburn, sexual tension, profanity, alcohol consumption, abadonment issues, petnames, lots of banter, explicit sexual content (fingering, nipple sucking, praise, cowgirl, protected sex), plot with porn, mc is a girlboss with a temper, rafayel is a brat and an asshole, they're both flawed and emotionally constipated lmao
word count:Â 35.7k
playlist: vogue by madonna, fashion killa by a$ap rocky, xs by rina sawayama, glamorous by fergie & ludacris, fashion! by lady gaga, disturbia by rihanna, louboutins by nesra, city of blinding lights by u2, empire state of mind (part ii) by alicia keys.
lyns notes: i rewatched 'the devil wears prada' (one of my fav movies fr) and this was born 𫥠I am a self proclaimed fashion girlie so this was a total blast to write and celebrity aus are my fav!! unfortunately I have not made it as an intern during fashion week yet, so please excuse the inevitable inaccuracies. model raf you will always be famous to me. enjoy <3
Your coffee was cold.Â
Simone stared at you nervously, her years of working as your assistant telling her all she needed to know in that moment. She watched as your fingers drummed against the dark wood of your desk, picking up on all the signs of your distress. Your lips pulled into a grimace, the slight tick in your jaw, and how you looked at the cup of coffee before you. All your employees knew that you were strictly a hot coffee drinker.Â
âHow is he?â
She scrambled to answer. âXavier isâŠ.recovering.â
You pinched the bridge of your nose, exhaling slowly. âElaborate.â
âHis leg is broken in two places. Some scratches, but thats the extent of his injuries. He was lucky.â
Your frustration with the situation at hand knew no bounds, and your mood soured even further with the new information. Clicking your tongue, you pressed your index finger and thumb against your temple, already feeling one of your headaches coming on. âSend a bouquet with a card to his hospital room.â
âOf course.â Simone pulled out her phone and began making the arrangements. âAnything else?â
âCoffee that isnât frigid.âÂ
Nodding quickly, she walked over and plucked up the cup from your table, giving you a final nod and stepping out of your office. Out of the dozens of assistants you had had, Simone had turned out to be the most competent and tolerable of all, and unlike her predecessors, had withstood your sky-high expectations and sharp tongue.
One word people would use to describe you is difficult. Others included delightful descriptions such as âunreasonableâ and âoverbearingâ, or perhaps the synonyms so many journalists had used in their pieces about you, including but not limited to: uptight, stubborn and ill-tempered. It was to the point where you had to applaud them for their creativity and commitment to the bit, never failing to find a new word to describe you in a bad light, even if you were the fashion world's current darling.Â
But this world you were so blessed to be a part of was cutthroat and unforgiving. Smiles and pretty manners would have never gotten you out of the tiny apartments you lived in after graduating from fashion school. Even sheer talent wasnât enough, so you steeled yourself over those arduous years, using your ambition like the sharp tool it was to overcome the hurdles that had blocked your way to the top.
You had built your brand from the bottom up, and it had been worth it. Every tear, every candle you burned late at night, and every nick on your now-perfectly manicured fingers had gotten you to where you were. Some would say you had your success handed to you, but you knew better. You remembered all the times you nearly gave up, all the years you spent running around and interning for brands that treated you like trash. One couldnât just forget their roots, even if everyone around them insisted on pretending they didnât exist.
And so here you were, at twenty-seven years old: Y/n L/n, one of the youngest successful fashion designers in the world, and the founder and CEO of luxury fashion label, Lumiere.Â
For a brand that was merely five years old, it had quickly turned into a status symbol. Owning a single piece of clothing from any one of Lumiereâs high-end collections set one apart instantly. Your designs were exquisite, and your ability to take any fabric and turn it into a work of art was truly extraordinary. Every collection you breathed life into stunned critics and fellow designers alike, cementing your position as one of the most respected creatives in the industry today.Â
Respected or not, being a woman in power was a tough act to keep up. Sitting on the throne meant you had to rule with an iron fist. You werenât allowed to slip up or make mistakes.
Especially not with Paris Fashion Week coming up.Â
The spring and summer collections would be revealed to the world at the most important fashion week. Everything had been going smoothly under your careful watch.Â
Until, of course, right now.
Yesterday, your top model met with an accident. Xavier Shen had been with you since the very start of Lumiere and was practically synonymous with its branding. Together, the two of you had taken the world's hottest runways by storm with his award-winning walk and your impeccable designs. In terms of real friendships, he might have been the only one you had.
And now, when you needed him, he was out of commission. There was no way heâd be walking for anyone any time soon.
Your black Louboutins pressed into the carpet beneath your feet as you fought off the wave of annoyance that cut through your concern for Xavier. It wasnât really aimed at him, no, it was because you couldnât have possibly predicted such a thing happening.Â
Moneyâ you had lots of it. More than you could count, and enough to never worry about making a dent in your bank balance ever again. What was most important to you now was control.Â
Simone rushed back in, placing a steaming cup of coffee on your desk with a polite smile. âAnything else?â
Picking up the cup and taking a sip, you savoured the hot, bitter flavour that coated your taste buds. âA closer for the show would be nice. And someone to model the new line.â
Xavier had always been the one to fill in those shoes, sometimes quite literally. Now, you were left to figure out how to replace him temporarily while retaining the integrity of your brand. You couldnât just take on anybody.
She didnât flinch at your cold tone. âSylus Qin?â
You shook your head, resting your elbows against the mahogany of your desk and cupping the mug of coffee, letting its warmth seep into your skin. âHeâs walking for the Dior show, which is only an hour before ours. And he doesnât particularly fit our image.â Sylus was, no doubt, an excellent model and a current favourite, but wasnât what you wanted representing your brand. âAnd donât even think of recommending Zayne Li. Heâs been Miu Miuâs poster boy for the last year, and I have no intention of riding on their coattails.â
Simone began listing models, but none seemed fitting. Yes, this was a problem that you had to solve as quickly as possible, but you refused to settle for anything but the best. As she rattled off names, you turned your attention to the floor-to-ceiling window panes that adorned the back of your office, which revealed a stunning view of the city below. The sun was setting, spilling its orange-red rays all over the buildings and buzzing streets of New York.Â
It didnât matter how many times you had been met with this view, it would never grow tiresome. New York would forever be your second love after fashion. It was unforgiving as it was generous, a contradictory quality you liked to think you shared with it.
âWhat about Qi Rafayel?â
You turned back to her at the unfamiliar name, raising a singular eyebrow. âWho?â
âRafayel,â she repeated his name, tapping the screen of her tablet and approaching you, holding it out for you to see. On it was the cover of the most recent Vogue issue, and on it was a man covered in colour, the white shirt he wore a victim of this photoshoot's concept. Hues of blue and fuchsia painted his cheekbones and neck, and his dark eyes seemed to stare right into your soul, his features somehow striking a balance between sharp and gentle all at once.Â
âTell me more.â
âHeâs probably the most talked about in modelling right now. GQ named him Model of the Year.â She droned on about everything she knew, and you were once again reminded of her competency. âHeâs under the Lemuria Modelling Agency and has achieved supermodel status with how sensational his walk is.âÂ
You hummed, intrigued now. âHow come Iâve never heard of him?â
âFrom what Iâve heard, heâs very selective about who he walks for, which makes everyone want him even more, of course. Word is that he isnât walking for any fashion week shows yet. Heâs refused all offers.âÂ
Oh? Most models jumped at any chance they got to walk for fashion week. It was the pinnacle of the modelling world as much as it was for the fashion world, with every model competing for the coveted few spots on the runway.Â
Leaning forward, you studied the magazine cover for a few more seconds. He did seem to give off the same regal air that Xavier did, at least from the shoot you were looking at, which meant it was at least worth considering taking him on. Potential was something youâd have to bet on.
âThis might do,â you muttered, waving your hand in her direction. âArrange a meeting with him and his manager and add it to my schedule.â
Rafayel adored a good party.Â
Sprawled out on the length of his couch with one arm hanging off of it, he lifted his glass with a satisfied half-smile, cocking his head as he observed the chaos that unfolded around him. The mess currently being made would undoubtedly be a problem, but it was one that a future version of himself would have to deal with. Right now, he was content with being the facilitator.Â
The bass reverberated through his body, the music so obnoxiously loud that it somehow managed to drown out the raucous laughter and chatter that travelled around the large room. He tipped back the glass, savouring the burn of the alcohol that kissed his throat so soothingly. It provided a pleasant buzz, one that he had been carefully maintaining all evening and the night so far.Â
People were dancing on his coffee table. Corners of the large room were occupied by pairs that were a little too close, but the darkness provided them with privacy. Beautiful women sauntered around, a couple hovering around him like moths to a flame. One even sat on the velvet armrest of the couch, right behind where his head lay and reached out to touch his hair, which would have annoyed him if he wasnât halfway to drunk already. The attention didnât faze him in the slightest, he was used to being at the centre of it.Â
He was the life of every party, the drug that kept it going, and everyone wanted a piece of that sweet high. His parties were all the rage, and anyone with so much as a speck of fame wanted to be in attendance at them, singers, actors and fellow models alike.Â
Sighing blissfully, he downed the rest of his drink. The delightful thing about alcohol was that once you had had enough of it, you hardly noticed the taste. He looked up at the woman who so boldly played with his hair, watching how she batted her eyelashes and flashed a coy smile at him. A smirk teased at his lips as he entertained the idea of taking his fun a little further.
Nothing could possibly ruin such a perfect night.
âRAFAYEL!â
Oh dear.Â
He didnât have to look to know who had yelled his name. There was only one person in the world who could say his name with such astronomical levels of exasperation. His manager spotted him and stormed over, setting one foot furiously in front of the other until he was right beside the couch. Rafayel lazily opened an eye, peering up at the intruder.
âLovely to see you, Thomas. Here to join in the fun?â
Thomas scowled. âI suggest throwing that expensive phone of yours out if it doesnât work.â
âIt works just fine.â
âThen why havenât you bothered to answer any of my calls?â
The model sighed and sat up, giving the women at his side an apologetic look. âExcuse me, ladies,â he said, charm oozing out of every syllable that spilled from him. âI need to talk to my friend here, and Iâll be right back.âÂ
With practised grace, he got to his feet and beckoned for Thomas to follow him into the kitchen, which was miraculously deserted. Leaning against the marble counter, he picked up a bottle of gin and poured it into a clean glass before offering it to the frazzled man. When all he received in return was a glare, he shrugged and tipped it back.Â
âIâve been trying to get hold of you all day,â Thomas said through gritted teeth, tapping his foot against the floor and folding his arms over his chest. Rafayel barely flinched at his agitation, used to it by this point.
âIâve been busy.â
His manager scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. âBusy? You call this being busy?â He gestured to the doorway that led back to the party, making Rafayel wish he was still there, instead of here, facing the wrath of his uptight manager when he wasnât as drunk as he wished he was for it. Rolling his eyes, he prepared to give his usual excuses and get it over with so that he could go back to his fun.
âLookââ
âNo, you look,â Thomas took a step forward. âYour shoot for Vogue was three weeks ago. Since then, youâve had numerous offers to walk in fashion week. More than any model Iâve previously managed.â The way he phrased it was incredulous, as if he couldnât fathom how he had managed such a thing. âSo Iâm gonna need you to tell me why youâve turned all of them down.â
Ugh. If Rafayel had been just a little faster, he could have been in his bedroom with that woman and avoided this interaction altogether. He placed the glass back down, running a finger along the rim of it as he hummed.Â
âNone of the brands spoke to me.â
Thomas looked like he was about to implode. He shut his eyes, letting out a long-suffering sigh.
âYou just have to walk. Pose a little. There's no speaking involved. You should know what your job entails by now.â
Rafayel placed a hand over his heart, feeling rather attacked at the moment. âDonât patronise me.â
To that, he was met with a mirthless laugh. âPatronise you? Youâre too smart for me to even try, and yet you still insist on acting like a child.â It was always entertaining when his manager lost his patience like this, and he always turned it into a game of sorts, testing to see just how far he could push back.
âYou wound me, my friend.âÂ
âYour aunt expects you to walk for fashion week.âÂ
Of course, she did. Immediately, his easy-going persona vanished, and he clicked his tongue in an attempt to push down his irritation. âTalia wants me to do so much, doesnât she?âÂ
He couldnât keep the bitterness out of his voice, but it didnât matter. His opinion rarely ever did when it was up against his aunts, but he supposed it was his fault. He was the one who had decided working under her would be a good idea, thinking that the familial connection would help further his career. It turned out, however, that while it had certainly given him a headstart, he had become her favourite project.
Back in her prime, Talia had been an extremely successful supermodel herself. After getting married, she didnât return to the runway, but instead started her own modelling agency: Lemuria Modelling Agency. Since she knew the ins and outs of the business so intimately, she had experienced what felt like overnight success with it.
When Rafayel came along, it was as if she wanted to live vicariously through him, pushing him into shoots and brand deals for fashion houses that she had once worked for herself. It was only recently that he put his foot down and insisted on choosing his projects for himself, refusing to be a puppet for any longer. Surprisingly, she had agreed, and it had somehow worked out even better than before, with his career taking off like never before.
He had no intention of turning out to be another version of her, even if he had technically followed in her footsteps. He was well aware of his worth and heâd be damned if he allowed himself to settle for anything less than perfect.
âYou have another offer for fashion week and a contract for a couple of months.âÂ
âIâm not interested.â His answer was immediate. He disliked speaking of work during his downtime, but since he had been ignoring all of his calls, he didnât have the right to complain about that right now.
âYou havenât even heard who it's for yet.â Thomas groaned. âLumiere is a highly respected brand. Itâs short notice, but youâre lucky youâre being offered the position at all.â
âI donât care how great they are,â he muttered dryly, reaching for the bottle once again. He despised being told what to do, regarding himself as a free spirit despite his perfectionist tendencies.Â
For a moment, he thought he had won this argument, taking the other man's silence as acceptance. His presumptuous joy was short-lived.
âGet your head in the fucking game, Rafayel. This whole stuck-up artist thing you have going on might have worked out in your favour so far, but it wonât cut it in the long run.â Thomas snapped, sufficiently vexed. âYou will take on Lumiere, and you will walk for them. I donât care if I have to drag you to Paris kicking and screaming, you're coming.âÂ
Rafayel bit back his surprise at the outburst, feeling his pride take a hit at Thomasâs words. Stuck-up artist? If life had gone the way he had intended it to, then perhaps he would have been exactly that. Not that he was complaining about the life he had now, he enjoyed every second of it thoroughly, for he was nothing if not a patron of indulgence. Still, the accusation stung just a tad.Â
He was caught so off-guard that he couldnât respond with his normal unbothered quips. The man in front of him didnât let up on his glare, but finally moved out of Rafayelâs personal space, clicking his tongue in triumph like a disappointed father would at his child.Â
âWe have a meeting scheduled with them for next week. Donât be late. And for godâs sake, check your phone. Iâll send over the details.âÂ
With that final statement, Thomas walked out, as eager to leave the party as Rafayel had been to rejoin it just a few minutes ago. With nothing left to do but nurse his bruised ego, he poured himself another drink to keep him company while he sulked over how that conversation had gone so terribly.
You stepped out of the car, immediately holding a hand over your face at a distance that let you see what was in front of you while simultaneously shielding yourself from the onslaught of camera flashes and paparazzi yelling at you to spare them a glance. Forcing a neutral expression, you let your feet carry you to the entrance of the restaurant as quickly as possible, wanting nothing more than to escape the unwanted attention.Â
Frankly, you should have been used to the paparazzi by now after having dealt with it for five years and counting, but there was something so jarring about having cameras shoved in your face or following you while you tried to go about your daily life. When you started out, all you had wanted to do was create your clothing, but fame had come along with your accomplishments, launching you into a spotlight that was meant for your designs. You had media training and publicists working to keep your image squeaky-clean.
The ambience on the inside provided you with respite from the press, and the tension in your shoulders instantly dissipated. Warm, dim lighting and the pleasant clinking of glasses and cutlery travelled all around you, combining with the smooth jazz that played, creating a melody of its own. This was one of your favourite places to dine, which was precisely why you had chosen it for today.Â
Walking further into the restaurant, you spotted the person you were here to meet and made your way over. The woman sitting at the reserved table scanned the menu.Â
âGabriette,â You smiled pleasantly, making your presence known. She looked up at you, eyes lighting up.
âY/n!â
Gabriette got to her feet and embraced you politely, giving you a customary kiss on each cheek in greeting. You returned the gesture before removing your coat, draping it on the empty seat across from hers and sitting down.Â
âI hope I didnât make you wait too long.â You picked up your menu as a server filled your glass with some water, flipping through the pages.Â
âNot at all! Iâm so glad we could make time to meet.âÂ
Gabriette Dubois was a celebrity fashion designer, much like yourself, whom you had met years ago while in Paris for your first ever fashion week. She was a little older than you but somehow managed to not look a day over twenty-five, petite in every sense of the word. Her own fashion house, Dubois Designs, was all the rage just as yours was. This meant that while you were friendly with her, she was less of a friend and more of an acquaintance.
Competitor would have been the right word.Â
âHow have you been?â She was in New York for a few weeks and insisted on having lunch with you. She was far from your favourite person, but you knew the importance of nurturing and maintaining connections. If not for that pesky reason, you would have cut all contact with her a long time ago. Your temper made it so that you lacked patience when it came to people like her, but thankfully, she lived in Paris, which meant you only had to bite your tongue and force a smile on occasion.
âIâve been fantastic,â she beamed, her French accent curling the ends of her words. âIâve been busy the whole time I have been in this city, but you know how it is. The busier you are, the better business is, yes?â The subtle brag was not lost on you.
You suspected she was the one who had called the press. They loved tailing you around anyway, but catching two high-profile fashion designers together? That was the same thing as finding gold to them.
âI bet you miss the days when Lumiere was still a small little thing,â she said with the same smile on her face, but you werenât naive enough to miss the slight condescending lilt of her voice. While she treated you perfectly well, you knew that she didnât quite see you as an equal, purposely choosing to turn a blind eye to your achievements. She thought of you as beneath her, even though your success outshone even hers at times.Â
You didnât need her approval. All this was a formality anyways.Â
âSometimes,â you admitted good-naturedly, choosing not to take the bait. The drinks arrived, and you took a nice, long sip of yours, reminding yourself of why you even agreed to meet her in the first place. âSorry, I just remembered, I have something Iâd like to ask you.â
Gabriette might have had a superiority complex, but this also meant she loved to shove all her accomplishments in other people's faces. Bragging was something she viewed as her birthright, and you had mastered the art of using it to your advantage.Â
The server returned, and the two of you placed your orders before resuming conversation. âAsk away.â
âItâs about a model,â you started carefully. âMy top model is out of commission right now, and I need a replacement for a little while.âÂ
No doubt she assumed you were about to ask her to help you find someone to take his place. You had no intention of doing such a thing since you were going to meet your potential temporary replacement in three days, thanks to Simone. What you wanted was a little information from someone who had directly had contact with him.Â
âYouâve worked with Rafayel before, havenât you?âÂ
You phrased it as if you didnât know this already, when in reality, you had done your research. It wasnât your job to do soâ you could have easily gotten any of your employees to do itâ but this was a big deal. You refused to have just anyone take Xavierâs place, even if it was only for a short while. Simone had already run a background check on him, and you had to admit that from all the surface-level knowledge that you had that he did fit with your brand's image quite well.
Gabriette peered at you from over her glass, raising an eyebrow as she nodded slowly. âYeah, a couple of years ago. Why?â
âI hadnât really heard of him until recently.â You placed your glass down, and at that moment, the server returned with your food. She didnât bother to hide her scoff as she picked up her fork, digging into her salad immediately.Â
âThatâs on you. Rafayel has been around for a while.â She took a bite of lettuce and croutons, taking her time with the morsel before she pounced once more, taking a concealed jab at you. âBut I guess itâs expected when you live under a rock. If you werenât so caught up with insisting on only working with Xavier for even a minute, you would have seen him around.âÂ
You refused to let her get under your skin. So what if you were picky about who you took on? Consistency was something you valued, and you had your reasons, ones that you didnât have to divulge to her and waste your breath.Â
A tired exhale left your lips. âIâm thinking of taking him on.â
âGood luck with that.âÂ
Huh. You sat up straighter. âWhat do you mean?â
âRafayel is a talented model, no one can say anything about that, but I doubt youâd be able to handle him.â
Handle him? Oddly enough, this statement of hers sounded less like a concealed insult and more genuine. Feigning indifference, you nibbled at your own food. âWhy so?â
She laughed curtly, toying with her fork. âHeâs a great way to make headlines, that's for sure. The world loves him right now, even with his scandalous behaviour, but when it comes down to itâŠâ You made a mental note to look into what she meant by scandalous behaviour later when she trailed off, silently prompting her to continue.Â
Gabriette pressed her lips together, a flash of irritation taking over her eyes for a brief moment, but it wasnât aimed at you.
âHeâs a total nightmare to work with.â
Rafayel waltzed into the meeting room ten minutes late, his head held up high like he owned the place.Â
This did not amuse you, the actual owner.
A man who you could only assume was his manager entered behind him, looking so defeated that you almost felt sorry for him. Almost, because you had no sympathy for people who wasted your time like they had. Simone had gotten you a second cup of coffee to pass the time, and you had just about finished it, ignoring the last few dregs in the cup in favour of narrowing your eyes at the two men.Â
âIâm so sorry about the delay,â he said quickly, taking a seat at the table after Rafeyel did. âThere wasâ erâ unavoidable traffic. Iâm Thomas, Rafayelâs manager. Your assistant spoke with me last week.â The excuse was pathetic, and you didnât miss the brief scathing look he sent the model when he stumbled over the words. The latter looked utterly unbothered, his elbow on the armrest of the chair, his chin resting on his palm.Â
If you werenât in such a terrible situation, you would have probably asked them to leave, but not only were you running on a tight schedule, but you were also fresh out of options.Â
âDonât worry about it. Itâs a pleasure to meet you both.âÂ
You looked at Rafayel to finally asses him in person, mild surprise running through you when you realised he was already staring right at you. Most people avoided eye contact with you because of how intense you could be, but he seemed to be having no such trouble; his eyes locked onto yours, a bored look lingering in them.Â
Now that you were looking at him in person, you had to admit that he was quite breathtaking. You had watched a couple of his most famous runway moments, but the way he looked through a screen did not compare to the real thing. He was positively gorgeous, which wasnât something you thought all that often, considering you were surrounded by beautiful people all the time. Rafayel, however, was in a league of his own, with soft, dark hair that fell over his forehead and into his mesmerising eyes. Smooth skin that surely had skincare companies begging him to be in their advertisements, lips that were the perfect pinkish hue, and elegant, high cheekbones; he was a work of art.Â
A work of art whose impudence was currently pissing you off.Â
âRafayel,â You finally directly addressed him. âI take it that youâve agreed to model for Lumiere for the next four months.âÂ
His lips twitched. âIt seems that I have.â
âWeâre thrilled to have you on board.â You gestured to Simone. âMy assistant here has drawn up the contract, which you can take to look over before signing it.â Dutifully, she placed a file before them, which he picked up, flipping through and scanning over the details and terms.
This is where the meeting would usually end. Heâd smile, nod and leave, and youâd go back to your office and hopefully review some of the recent sketches you had done. They needed some reworking as soon as possible, especially if you wanted to stay on schedule.Â
Except it didnât.Â
He tossed the contract back on the table. âThats all well and good, but I have a condition of my own.â
His manager glanced at him apprehensively. Your look on your face must have betrayed how bewildered you felt, because the edge of his mouth quirked upwards in amusement ever so slightly at your reaction.Â
âAâŠ.condition?â You echoed his words incredulously, fingers curling around the Montblanc pen you were just about to hand to him. His smile widened, and he nodded, leaning forward with his elbows resting on the edge of the table like he was about to divulge to you a secret you should have been dying to know.
âWhatever you make me wear, I have to approve of it. I have to like it, or I donât wear it.â
You werenât quite sure you had heard him right at first, blinking twice as you registered what he had just said. Honestly, even the idea was so ridiculous that you were sure you had misinterpreted, because this wasnât a condition. It was a demand, one that he expected you to meet, as if it wasnât completely audacious of him to do so.Â
âIâm sorry?â
âYou heard me. This is a dealbreaker.âÂ
Thomas looked so alarmed that it would have been funny in any other context. Clearly, he had no hand in this and was just as caught off guard as you were, but nowhere near as outraged.Â
Simone realised the meeting was going awry, and swiftly swooped in, clearing her throat before you exploded right then and there in the conference room. She was surprised that the pen you were holding hadn't snapped in two yet with how tight your grip on it was.Â
âIâm sure we can work something out,â she said smoothly, taking over for you as you glowered. âWeâre delighted to have you working with us, Mr. Qi.â
No part of you was delighted. Sure, he ticked off all the boxes: attractive, seasoned and acclaimed, but there was something about how he carried himself that didnât sit quite right with you. This had nothing to do with any of the scandals that he had found himself in, though you had looked into them to make sure it wouldnât impact your brand. Dating scandals and rumours of him being a womaniserâ stuff like that never held any weight for too long, especially not for a man. You didnât care about his personal life, no, your annoyance stemmed from his haughty attitude.Â
Rafayel grinned, not bothering to even look at her, winking at you instead for good measure. âPleasure doing business with you.âÂ
The fucking audacity.
Once they had left, you stormed into your office, your stilettos carrying the heavy weight of the pure, unadulterated rage you felt at that instant. Simone followed, bracing herself for the inevitable downpour of your wrath and clutching her tablet in the hopes it would help her calm you down. Of course, she knew there was no shot in hell of that happening; when you were like this, it would take nothing short of a miracle to placate you.Â
To say you were a proud person would be an understatement. There were not very many instances where you willingly let someone else have control in a situation, and you were well aware of what your work was worth. There was a reason you were at the top of the game.Â
It made his condition all the more absurd.
âHe has to approve of it?â You seethed, spinning around to glare at the only person around to take the brunt of your fury. âWho the hell does he think he is?âÂ
âA request? A request would be if he asked us for tea, Simone. This is an insult.â He had to have known that, too, unless he was a total idiot. You were starting to believe that because models didnât choose what they wore. The implication was that you didnât know how to dress your models, as if all the skills you had honed were worth nothing. âWho the hell does he think he is?â
Despite having just met him, the smug look he had given you was already burned into your memory. You couldnât remember the last time you had outright disliked someone this quickly.
âRafayel is eccentric, yes,â Simone said tentatively. He had sounded so confident, like it was a given that you would agree. âBut maybe he didnât mean to offend you?â
âXavier would never do this,â You groaned, mourning the absence of your darling top model. âTell me, is there a chance we can get someone else on board instead?â
Unfortunately, you knew the answer without her giving it to you. Keeping your brand's image intact was of utmost importance to you, and you were nothing if not meticulous. Xavierâs sudden unavailability had thrown a real wrench in all your careful planning, and though it wasnât his fault, it still left you extremely frustrated. Replacing him was nearly impossible, and you were lucky to have chanced upon Rafayel.
Undoubtedly, he would fit in with your curation seamlessly. Heâd look fantastic modelling your clothing, and heâd be perfect for the PFW show. The hype that currently existed around him would also help tremendously. Your publicist was about to have an absolute field day with this collaboration.Â
âHeâs our only viable option at the moment. The chances of him disapproving of your clothes are slim to none, anyway.â Your assistant said comfortingly. âItâll be fine.â
God, you hoped so.
QI RAFAYEL SIGNED WITH LUMIERE?
Word is that the most elusive model of the decade has put down roots with the hottest brand, and boy, does the partnership seem fitting! Itâs a wonder, especially with Rafayel's sudden disappearance from the modelling scene right at the height of his career. Known for his fearlessness when it comes to experimental designs and his ability to embody any look, the model is truly at the top of his game, so it makes perfect sense for him to work with a brand that shares that very status.
We canât wait to witness his comeback with Lumiere very soon!
The fitting room was in chaos when you arrived.
You grimaced at the disarray you were met with; stylists rushing around and shouting various instructions at each other. There were different types of fabric all around, clothing items you could recognise at a single glance, falling off their hangers and display mannequins. Amidst it all stood Rafayel, who looked utterly uninterested, his arms over his chest, wrinkling the deep purple Ralph Lauren shirt he was wearing. The colour suited him.
But why was he still in his personal clothes? In two hours, he was to be at a shoot for the brand's website and social media pages, but here he was, just standing around. At least his makeup was done, you supposed.
âMiss Y/n!â One of the stylists paused her movements and greeted you. âWe are right on track!â
Were they? You glanced around at the confusion, stepping over the shoes that were right in front of the doorway and walked up closer to one of the mannequins. Wordlessly, you held your hand out, and immediately they all knew what to do, scrambling to hand you a pin. Placing it between your teeth, you folded over a part of the waist of the pants to readjust the pleating and secured it in place.Â
âIt doesnât seem like it.â Your eyes sliced back to the model, who was now looking right at you. âHeâs not ready.â
Typically, you would never visit a fitting like this, trusting your employees to get the job done. You were too busy to make the time to show up for things like these, simply giving the orders and checking in once the job was done. Even Xavier didnât get any surprise pop-ins from you, and he was someone you actually cared for.Â
But no part of you inherently trusted Rafayel to cooperate. The stylist who handed you the pin dropped her voice and signalled towards him. âHeâs a little difficult.âÂ
Of course.Â
Leaving the mannequin, you walked up to Rafayel and levelled him with a stare. âWould you care to enlighten me as to why youâre giving my stylists a hard time?â
He looked around and pointed to the clothing that another stylist held up with a helpless expression. It was a lovely white silk shirt with an asymmetrical cut, the buttons starting at the right shoulder and ending at the left side of the waist. This was paired with trousers to complete the look, but it wasnât supposed to take away from the shirt, which was the main event.Â
âIâm not wearing this.â
Irritation was a feeling you were well-versed in. The way it flared up inside of you so quickly when he spoke was still shocking.Â
âAnd why not?â You briefly wondered why everyone around you seemed to take pleasure in wasting your time as of late. This was only one of the outfits he had to be photographed in, the others lined up neatly on a clothing rack.Â
âItâs boring,â Rafayel said casually, as if he were remarking on the weather. âWhere's the colour? The life? I look at it and feel nothing.âÂ
Oh, he felt nothing, did he? Briefly, you wondered if heâd feel the slap you were so tempted to give him. All he had done since stepping into your building was insult you and parade around like he was better than everyone, and you didnât take either of those things lightly. âItâs the highest quality silk and stitching.âÂ
âEverything youâre having me wear is in black and white.â
âIâm so glad you can tell colour.âÂ
Your stylists flinched a little at your apathetic tone, despite being all too used to your snippy remarks. You were hard on everyone who worked for you, but that was only because you held your employees to the same high standards that you did yourself when it came to the work they were supposed to do. Their paychecks certainly made up for it, as did your generosity when it came to granting them leave.Â
âBlack and white is plain.â He sighed dramatically, like the lack of colour was personally offending him. âChanel already has that rodeo down to the âtâ.Â
His audacity left you astounded once more, and you were even more pissed off when you unwittingly realised that he had a point. Still, even if Chanel did have a thing for black and white styling, you liked to think that you had put your unique spin on the clothes that distinguished them from competing brands. You didnât just think it; you knew your designs were amazing. The man in front of you didnât allow you to tell him this, since he had already started speaking again.Â
âIf I wanted to wear Chanel, I would have accepted their offer.â
âWhy didnât you?â
You knew damn well that it was a good thing he had agreed to work for you, but that didnât mean he had to. Rafayelâs lips tipped upwards, as if your annoyance entertained him. âI already told you. I find black and white boring, and even though itâs all I see right now,â he gestured around the room and at the clothing rack, âI donât think itâs all youâre capable of.â
Was that a compliment? If it was, he was shit at giving them out. Not that you were any better, but that hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. It wasnât your job to be nice, it was your job to make sure things got done the way you wanted them.Â
So, against all your severely miffed instincts, you sucked in a deep breath to calm yourself down. âThis collection is already public. We just need the pictures for social media.â
He looked disappointed. âFine. Iâll make an exception just this once.â
How positively saintly of him. You wondered if he expected you to drop and kiss his feet for making such a compromise.Â
Unfortunately for him, he wasnât going to get any of that. You pressed your lips together, deciding you had wasted enough of your time already and that it was time to get back to those sketches of yours you had been putting off. Nodding curtly, you moved to leave, but he opened his mouth again.
âA word of advice?â
Well, wasnât he chatty today? You sighed, pressing two fingers against your temple and rubbing in the hopes it would soothe you. âYouâre going to give it to me even if I say no, arenât you?â
He proved you right. âIf your Paris Fashion Week collection is going to be as uninspired as this, then I suggest you start rethinking it.â
The stylist closest to the two of you gasped.
Uninspired? This was a collection you had revealed recently at a show a couple of weeks ago, and critics had been all over it, practically kissing your feet with the amount of praise they had dished out. Uninspired definitely wasnât one of the words they had used to describe it.
You didnât miss the smirk on his lips as he watched you react to his harsh words. He had gotten under your skin, and he knew it. It had been so long since someone had managed to do so that you forgot how it felt, and you despised the feeling. Your eyebrows raised in fury that was plain as day, leaning away from him like his presence stung just as much as his words did.
Rafayel didnât want to admit it, but he was having way too much fun with this. The day he first showed up at the Lumiere building, he was pretty much dragged there against his will by Thomas. He had heard of it in passing and was expecting yet another high-fashion brand that had lost all its integrity in favour of stagnating and staying relevant through its namesake. When he had looked into its previous seasons, however, he began to begrudgingly appreciate the creativity of their clothing, as well as its authenticity.
Finding out that Lumiere was only five years old came as a surprise, as did the news of the meeting with the founder and head of the company herself. To say that was unconventional would be an understatement. Typically, these types of meetings consisted of him only meeting an assistant or two, but never the designers themselves. Sure, eventually heâd speak to them at a show or afterparty he was obligated to be at, but never had he met them upfront like this.
Moreover, he certainly hadnât expected the designer to be a beautiful young woman. Rafayel had always had an eye for pretty things, so one look at you was enough for him to see that you were just that. Beautiful didnât even cut it, actually, so much so that you could probably walk in your own fashion shows.
So you were pretty. Rafayel was aware enough of it, and although he tended to gravitate towards that, you werenât exactly his type. He typically went for women who were generous with the smiles they gave him and found pleasure in his reputation, the type who giggled at everything he said and touched his arm to make sure their intentions were clear. As far as he was concerned, a type meant there was a pattern involved, and that would be the best way to describe the women he had gotten involved with in the past.Â
You were too intense for his taste, with your calculating gaze and perfectly pinned-up hair without a single strand out of place. Breathtaking in the most intimidating way. He was all for dancing through life while having a good time and breaking a few rules if he had to. You, on the other hand, looked like you had written the rules and expected everyone else to abide by them.
It was probably a good thing that he didnât want to get with someone who was technically his boss.
But you were oh-so easy to rile up.Â
âUninspired?â You hissed, and if looks could kill, the one you were giving him right now would have probably landed him six feet under. âExcuse me?â
Feisty. My, my, he was going to have a blast with this. Shrugging, he started unbuttoning the front of his shirt, and the stylists, who had been standing frozen while the two of you had a stare-off, jumped back into action. They seemed relieved that he was finally cooperating, one of them assisting him with his shirt and the other holding the one you designed open and ready to slip onto his body.
Your eyes dropped to his now exposed torso as the shirt was peeled off of him for just a second before you sliced them back up to his. That infuriating smirk remained on his face throughout.Â
âNeed some clarification?â
So this is what Gabriette meant when she said he was a nightmare to work with.Â
âThere is nothing uninspired about my clothing,â you snapped, unable to keep your temper from flaring up anymore. âFrom now on, keep any advice you have to yourself.â
Everything that had come out of his mouth so far had been unwanted, and you were starting to think he was doing it on purpose, especially with how he was watching your every reaction like a hawk. Refusing to dignify him with one, you turned and walked out of the room, emerging into the hallways of the Lumiere building. The familiarity of the decor and soothing warm lighting should have helped with your agitation, but nothing of the sort happened.
Now, you understood why Gabriette said all that stuff about not being able to handle him.Â
Four months of this madness before everything would go back to normal. In comparison to other things youâve dealt with in the past, this was trivial. You were a professional, considered a damn genius for your work and the sheer levels of success you were graced with at such a young age. There was nothing you couldnât do, even if it was dealing with a self-important model that seemingly took pleasure in irking you.
In any case, you could refrain from pushing him out of a window.Â
âOh, these are great. Iâm gonna have to hide them from Jeremiah.â
Xavier placed the box of chocolates you had gotten him on the coffee table in front of where he sat on the couch. You joined him there, eyes lingering on the cast on his leg that spanned from his ankle up to just below his knee. He caught you staring at it in contempt and grinned.
âWanna sign it?â
You scoffed and leaned against the throw pillows. âYou know I donât.âÂ
Despite your hectic schedule, you had made sure to set aside some time to visit the injured man now that he had returned from the hospital. His roommate had let you in when you arrived, since Xavier was strictly instructed to stay off his feet as much as possible. The irony of that wasnât lost to either of you.Â
âWorth a shot.â
He was pretty much homebound and stuck in that cast for twelve weeks, and after that would have to go through physical therapy for a bit before he was back on his feet. It was certainly a blow to his careerâs momentum, especially since it quite literally depended on his ability to walk. Eventually, heâd get back onto the runway, you knew, but you couldnât help but feel bad.Â
Considering all this, he seemed to be in a good mood, smiling gently at you. Xavier, unlike you, had endless amounts of patience and had a temperament that was as angelic as he looked. He was plenty successful, and Lumiere was by no means the only fashion house he modelled for, even if it was the one he worked with the most. He had seen the ambitious girl who powered through all the doubts thrown in her face when you had taken the leap and started your brand, and had stuck by you ever since.Â
This was why he was your only true friend. He had seen something in you when you hadnât quite figured yourself out just yet. For the past five years, he had stayed by your side without wavering even once, and as a result of this, he could read you like you were an open book.Â
âYouâre upset with me.â He noted. You sighed, shaking your head.Â
âNo, Iâm upset with the circumstance.â You gestured towards his leg. âThe timing is terrible.âÂ
Xavier quirked an eyebrow in amusement. âApologies. The next time I plan on breaking my bones, Iâll let you know in advance.âÂ
âPlease let there never be another time,â You let out a tired sigh. âReplacing you is a hassle. Get better. I need you back at work.â
âAnd here I thought you missed me for me.â He lightly teased.
âYou know I do.â You looked at him meaningfully. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
He did. You had never been the best at being vulnerable or expressing yourself, but he had long since learnt how to read between the lines.Â
âIâve heard that you managed to find someone to fill in.â He circled back to your point about replacing him and looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to fill him in on all the happenings he had missed. Things were progressing slower than you would have liked, but smoothly, nonetheless.Â
Except for one little thing. One person, more accurately.Â
If you were being honest, you didnât particularly want to talk about the cause of all your recent headaches. Instead, you eyed his cast again, trying your best to keep the bitterness out of your voice. âDoes it hurt?â
âItâs just a dull ache now,â he reached down and scratched over the plaster. âAnd itâs uncomfortable, but it doesnât hurt.â Then, he gave you a pointed look. âDo you think I canât tell when youâre changing the subject?â
Damn. You pulled your hair free from its tight ponytail, letting it cascade over your shoulders and letting your scalp breathe. It wasnât often you let your guard down like this, but you knew you were safe with Xavier. You also knew that you needed to be as relaxed as possible if you were going to talk about your latest problem.Â
âI did find someone to fill in.â Your lips twisted in displeasure. âBut Iâm counting down the days till you return.âÂ
âThat bad?â
âRafayel is impossible.âÂ
Xavier cocked his head to the side. âThats new. You generally comment on someone's incompetence.â
âOh, heâs plenty competent.â It was the truth. You almost wished he were terrible at his job, but that wasnât the case. The pictures for your social media had turned out amazing, and you had spent quite a lot of time looking over them, trying to find a reason to be unsatisfied, but to no avail.Â
A great model. An exasperating person.Â
Over the past two weeks, you had seen too much of him. He was constantly complaining about something, showing up late, or making snide comments and going out of his way to make everyoneâs jobs harder. You had heard of models that thought they were untouchable, but Rafayel was a whole other level, a bona-fide diva.
If you werenât so desperate, you would have already fired him. Desperation was not a feeling you enjoyed, but you didnât want to go through the hassle of having to select someone else to fill in the void Xavier had left in his absence.Â
âSo, what do you mean by impossible?â He propped an arm on the couch's backrest, rubbing the back of his neck.Â
You indulged Xavier with the details, telling him all about Rafayelâs complaints about your clothing and all the ways he had managed to drive you up the wall. You were frustrated with his behaviour, but also with yourself for being so caught up about it when you had more important things to worry about.Â
A charity gala you were supposed to attend next week. Prepping for Paris Fashion Week.Â
âOh, Y/n. He does sound like a handful.â Xavier muttered sympathetically after you had aired out all your grievances. His admission made you feel a lot better about the situation.Â
âHeâs more than a handful.â
âBut Iâve never seen you back down from any challenge.â He remarked. âAnd thats basically what heâs doing. Challenging you.â
He was right, you werenât someone who backed down easily. Your conversation drifted to other things: his time at the hospital, the terrible food they made him eat, and other such tragedies. You realised how much you truly missed having Xavier around, being able to talk to someone like this wasnât something you were able to do often.Â
You made a mental note to visit him as much as possible.
âItâs a challenge,â Xavier reminded before you left, popping one of the chocolates you had gotten him in his mouth as he gave you one last piece of advice about your Rafayel problem. âDonât let him win.â
Behind a camera, Qi Rafayel was more than tolerable.
So much about the man pissed you off. From his slow manner of speaking that tested your patience, to the lazy half-grin he seemed to perpetually have plastered on his face, you could probably list out all the things about him you disliked. He made it so easy with his incessant attempts at driving you up the wall.
Still, it was evident that even with all his antics, he was a professional.
Now, he was in archival Lumiere, one of the collections from the start of your career. There were only a few pieces of the structured jacket he wore in circulation since they were handmade. In fact, he was wearing the very piece that had appeared on the runway all those years ago. It hung from his shoulders as he posed, staring into the camera as it shuttered.Â
You had personally chosen this piece for this shoot, asking your stylists to work with it because you knew he wouldnât be able to complain. It was a stunning jacket, and apparently, he agreed.Â
Every few seconds, heâd change the pose, each more dramatic than the last. A hand raised in a flourish near his face, back facing the camera, with him looking back at it, legs spread with his arms behind his head as he stared straight ahead through a half-lidded gaze. Watching him go through the motions like it was second nature was mesmerising.Â
You were starting to understand his appeal. There was a certain playfulness to his sensuality, and he knew exactly how to use it to his advantage. Something about him felt dangerous, unpredictable in an exciting way, and that quality of his was his greatest selling point.Â
The makeup on him was bolder this time, accentuating his siren-esque features. His hair was artfully slicked back, different from his normal look and showing off his forehead.Â
He was going to be on the cover of Elle, styled with Lumiere, of course. In this particular issue, they were going to include a one-on-one interview with you as well, which was why you were present at the shoot. After they were done with him, theyâd be taking a couple of shots of you to include with your interview.Â
And it seemed they had just wrapped up.Â
The intense expression on his face immediately dropped, giving way to a relaxed one, his eyes travelling around the room until they met yours. The photographer thanked him for his time, but he was already moving towards you. As he approached, a staff member popped up at your side.
âWould you like some coffee, miss?âÂ
You turned to the woman who asked you the question. âHot, without any sugar.â
She nodded and looked at Rafayel, who had stopped by your side. âAnd for you, sir?â
âCold coffee. As much whipped cream and sugar as you can manage.â He dropped a wink in with his order for good measure, and the staff faltered ever so slightly, trying to hide how charmed she was as she left to get the drinks. Once she was gone, he looked at you, his perfect pink lips twitching.Â
It was obvious that he wanted to say something, and it would no doubt be something that ticked you off. Still, you relented and finally asked.
âWhat is it?â
He studied you for a moment. âNothing. Itâs just so predictable that you take your coffee plain.â
You bristled. âThereâs nothing wrong with it.â
âI never said there was,â He drawled, and then dropped the subject. âSeems like it's your turn to get behind the camera, Miss Designer. Ready?â
âItâs not my first time,â You said as the staff returned with your coffees. Grabbing yours, you took a slow sip and continued. âWe had to model quite a bit in fashion school for various projects and assignments.â
It wasnât as if you were claiming to be better than him, but you did have some experience. He hummed an idle tune, bringing the straw of his drink to his mouth and sipping it in delight.
You had to bite back a frown at the monstrosity he received, the swirls of whipped cream over milky coffee. There were even sprinkles on the damn thing. You understood his comment about your order being predictable because that being his somehow made a lot of sense. Globs of the whipped cream spilt over the side of the glass and slipped down its length, the entire thing was over the top and messy.
A lot like him, you supposed.Â
âWant some?â He asked cheekily, tilting the glass in your direction. He knew you were going to refuse, but the way you scrunched your nose and did such a terrible job at hiding your aversion was too entertaining to pass up on.Â
âIâm good.âÂ
âSuit yourself.âÂ
You shot Rafayel a displeased look, scanning him from top to bottom. The jacket you had so carefully handstitched was unbuttoned and open so that his abs could peak through in the pictures. You didnât let your eyes linger there, snapping them back up to his.Â
âDonât stain the jacket.â You muttered sternly, adjusting the collar of your top and centring your jewellery with one hand, the other gripping the handle of your cup. He was holding his coffee too close to himself for your liking, especially with the way the top of the whipped cream was leaning to the side, as if it was about to tip over any second now.Â
âYes, we wouldnât want that.â
The patronising lilt of his voice told you that he was trying to get a rise out of you, but you knew he liked the jacket. When he had been made to put it on, he had looked at it appreciatively and hadnât complained even once, which felt like nothing short of a miracle. You purposely looked anywhere but him, instead opting to watch the photographer set up for your turn.Â
But Rafayel wasnât someone you could just ignore. His presence was magnetic and all-consuming, and even when he was silent, he was distracting. The effect he had was strange and inexplicable, cutting through your general dislike towards him.Â
Thankfully, the photographer turned to you and nodded. âWhenever youâre ready, miss.â
Without sparing Rafayel another glance, you handed your coffee to the staff member closest to you and strutted over, taking your place behind the camera. You took a seat on the stool they had put out for you as a makeup artist came over to give you a touch-up and fix your hair. Focusing on the camera lens, you reminded yourself what you were here for in the first place.Â
But when your traitorous gaze flickered back to Rafayel, he was already looking at you.
Pages filled with sketches lay strewn out over the desk of your home office, with you hunched over them in concentration. You ran your fingers through your hair and tugged at the ends, your other hand gripping your mechanical pencil.
You may have looked like the picture of productivity, but right now, you were feeling the complete opposite. It was nearly one in the morning, and you had skipped out on dinner in favour of trying to get the conceptual designs for the spring collection done. You had been procrastinating working on them for a while now, but with only three months left before the show, the pressure was starting to set in. You usually never left things to the last minute like this â last year you had the clothes ready by this time â but for reason reason, you were having trouble with it.
All you had added to the sketches were a couple of idle lines that changed absolutely nothing. The ideas were good, very reminiscent of the typical silhouettes you tended to go for, but it felt like something was missing.Â
It felt uninspired.
Not that youâd ever admit that out loud. It was bad enough that you were struggling with what you were supposed to be a genius at, but to use the very words Rafayel did to explain your predicament? That was just humiliating.Â
Groaning, you ran a hand over your face and leaned back in your chair, your back sore from the horrible posture you had been maintaining for the past two-ish hours. You were distracted, but you couldnât figure out why, because the only sounds around were the ticking of your clock and the drumming of your foot against the floor.
Finally, you gave up, emerging from your office and into the living room of your penthouse. All the lights were off, but the large ceiling-to-floor windows you had lit up the place just enough, casting shadows around in the moonlight. You had bought the place when Lumiere had just taken off, and you had more money than you ever had in your life. As a result, you ended up with an apartment on the top floor that the elevator opened directly into, that only you had access to and too much space for your good.Â
The muffled sounds of New York City in the distance kept you company as you padded to your kitchen. Your appetite was non-existent â a result of your hyper-focused state â but you knew you had to eat something.Â
You had been feeling unsatisfied with your sketches for a while now, and Rafayelâs comments about ensuring nothing was uninspired had hit too close to home. The last thing you wanted to do was release something you were unhappy with or considered subpar.Â
God knows you hated to admit that insolent man had a point, but he did.
And you had to figure out a way around it fast.
The thing you loved more about New York was how alive it felt.
You walked down the streets, sunglasses perched on your nose. It was a Saturday, and you had decided to take a day off for yourself in the hopes that the reset would grant you some motivation for the spring collection.Â
So far, you had had no run-ins with the paparazzi. Maybe this was one of those days when they had decided to be more subtle with their approach to getting content, but whatever it was, you were grateful for the sense of privacy it gave you. Realistically, even if it wasnât the paparazzi, you knew someone would get a picture of you walking in and out of stores and post it online. That was fine, simply part and parcel of the life you had made for yourself.Â
You were enjoying the peace, the cacophony of the city melting into a song so uniquely New York. You were someone who knew how to enjoy your own company, but perhaps that stemmed from the fact that you had no one else to share it with. Sure, Xavier was there, but you knew the moment the two of you hung out for extensive periods anywhere but his or your place, or the Lumiere building itself, there would be dating rumours springing about everywhere.Â
Neither of you had the time nor the energy to deal with that nonsense. At least like this, you had control of the narrative, and that peace you loved so much.
Ah, yes, peace. The very thing that shattered immediately as a man ran into you.Â
Okay, so you hadnât exactly been paying attention, lost in your thoughts as you walked, but words laced with annoyance immediately tumbled out of your mouth. âHey! Watch where youâre going!â
âJeez, lady, Iâm sorry, okayâ wait, Y/n?â
Oh no. You knew that voice.Â
You peered up at the offender, taking in the butter yellow cap that sat over his smushed hair, long lashes framing those beguiling eyes that were currently wide in shock. His hands flew to your arms, gripping them as he steadied both of you at the same time. You had about two seconds to acknowledge the way he was up in your personal space, pushing your sunglasses up to see if you were seeing things correctly.
âRafayel?â
He swore under his breath, releasing your forearms as he jerked away, glaring. âCould you not yell it out for the entire street to hear?â
Why the hell was he annoyed? He was the one who had walked into you. If anyone had the right to glare like that, it was you. You blinked up at him in exasperation, wondering for the umpteenth time where he got the gall.
âOh, Iâm sorry,â You bit sarcastically, âMy bad for being the unsuspecting soul you run into. Next time, I hope it's a pole.âÂ
He cast you a droll look that you were sure was meant to last longer, but he seemed skittish today. This was the most casually dressed you had ever seen him, a simple sweatshirt over jeans andâŠ.were those sneakers? All you had seen him in up until this moment were shirts and clothing you designed.Â
Then, without warning, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him.
Right into a dark, dingy alley.
âWhat the fuck?â You blurted, more puzzled than anything else, as you yanked your hand out of his touch, holding it close to your body. âAre you high? Why on earth have youââ
âSorry,â he breathed, holding his palm out in a manner that told you he needed a second. Not that you cared in the slightest, narrowing your eyes at him and propping a hand on your hip.Â
âYou have two minutes to explain why youâve dragged me with you here.âÂ
A vibrant blush spread across the apples of his cheeks and ears. Well, at least he had the decency to look embarrassed. He interlaced his fingers behind his neck and glanced up a the sky, before looking back at you.Â
âI was trying to outrun the paps.â
âBy running into me?â
âI didnât plan that!â He snapped, and you had to admit that it was nice to see him be the irritated one for a change. His eyebrows knitted together, an indignant pout taking over his usual, nonchalant countenance. All things considered, it was kind of cute.
âIâm not hearing any explanations.â You reminded him impatiently, raising an eyebrow. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose for two whole seconds like he was contemplating whether you were worth explaining it to. You were tempted to tell him that his two minutes were swiftly passing by.
âI ran into an ex of mine.â He confessed finally. âCassandra Corin. Cassie.â
The name was vaguely familiarâ an actress, if you remembered correctly. Blonde, blue-eyed, gorgeous. You were sure you had seen some of her work in passing, and so you nodded, prompting him to continue. âIâve heard of her.â
âYeah. Well, we were together for like a month, but sheâs a very, uhâŠ..dramatic person, if you will. I happened to walk out of a store, and she was right outside with the press, who she had obviously called.â There wasnât an ounce of fondness in his voice as he spoke about the woman.
âDid she plan for you to be there?â You asked, bewildered.
âI donât think so, but sheâs the type of celebrity that subscribes to the âall publicity is good publicityâ agenda. A pic of us together would certainly help with that.â He explained with a surprising amount of patience. âIâve kind of been lying low as of late, so theyâre hungrier than usual to get a couple of shots. I had to run out of there, and I donât like running.âÂ
Ah, there it was. You should have known he couldnât go more than five minutes without complaining. Still, you could sympathise with his predicament, having had your fair share of experiences with trying to avoid the paparazzi.
âRight,â you raised an eyebrow. âI still donât get why youâve forced me into hiding with you.â
Rafayel mirrored the unimpressed look you were currently giving him. âIt would be ten times worse if they saw us together. I was trying to be inconspicuous and youââ He paused, gesturing towards you from top to bottom, ââlook anything but.â
Glancing down at your outfit, you let out an offended sound. âExcuse me? I can be inconspicuous.â
You were a vision, dressed in what only someone with too much money would consider casual: a light pink Chanel cardigan over a t-shirt and Prada loafers on your feet. You carried a Hermes Mini Kelly bag on your arm, Miu Miu shades pushed up on your head like a headband as you stared at him, poorly hiding your displeasure.Â
âNo.â Rafayel had to fight back a smile, shaking his head. âYou really canât.â
It wasnât a bad thing, per se. He knew a thing or two about having a commanding presence, having used his own to his advantage his entire life. Unfortunately, that meant that the two of you in one place at the same time was a recipe for disaster, especially when he was trying his damnedest to avoid it.
Your scowl deepened. âYouâre insufferable, I hope you know that.âÂ
âIâve been told it brings out my eyes.â
Unbelievable. His ego had to be sky-high, taller than the Empire State Building. Never before had you wanted to knock someone down a couple of pegs so badly. His tone was light and airy, as if he now found the ordeal funny, and while that infuriated you, there was something melodic about his voice that you couldnât ignore.Â
âYou love wasting my time, donât you?â You grumbled under your breath, wondering how on earth you managed to get yourself into such a position and, more importantly, why you were still in it. You could have easily walked out of this stupid alley already. His eyes sparkled, but before he could say anything aggravating, another sound cut through.
MROW!
You startled at the high-pitched yowl, dropping your gaze to find an orange cat sitting by your shoes. It looked fat and happy, like too many restaurants had taken pity on it and fed the little thing leftovers. Its black eyes stared up at you, as if waiting for you to give it something to eat as well, before letting out another pitiful meow.
And how did the man standing in front of you react to this?
Rafayel yelped.
Loudly. Embarrassingly, even. He practically jumped away from you and the cat, hands in front of him in a protective stance. You blinked rapidly, unsure of how to react to that.
âAre youâŠokay?â
âDo I look okay?â He hissed, the action seeming very catlike. âWhere the hell did that thing come from?â
That thing? You looked down at the cat that had busied itself with rubbing against your ankles, weaving in between your legs before settling back down into a seated position.Â
âRafayel,â you did your best to keep your voice level, speaking slowly, as if you were talking to a skittish animal. âAre you afraid of cats?â
âNonsense. Why would I be afraid of them?â He eyed the cat with such disdain that one would think it had personally murdered one of his family members, or something along those lines. Regardless of what he had said, he looked terrified, his body language stiff and unnatural. You had never seen him like this, so used to his cavalier attitude and manner of carrying himself. He sniffed, still maintaining a safe distance. âTheyâre vile creatures. I just donât want them anywhere near me.âÂ
His mouth was twisted downward in horror, and his eyebrows were raised so high they looked like they disappeared underneath the cap he had on. It resulted in an expression so comical that you had to bite the inside of your cheek in a genuine attempt to keep a straight face, but failed miserably.
You burst into laughter.
It was so sudden that it stunned Rafayel, his lips parting in shock as the sound washed over him. It felt like someone had dumped cold water on him because your laughter was intoxicating, so much brighter than he had anticipated, not that he had. It made you look younger, so much more carefree than you did with the tight-lipped facade you typically donned. Your lips stretched upwards, the edges of your eyes crinkling as you giggled at his expense.
A rare crack in your carefully crafted exterior. Intrigued, the urge to know more about you rose out of nowhere, but he clamped it down immediately.
âYouâre laughing at me.â He accused, trying to keep the indignation in his voice.Â
âIâm sorry!â You managed in between puffs of laughter, and now he knew something had to be very wrong with him, because he nearly told you not to apologise for it. âItâs justâitâs so adorable!â You bent down and scooped up the cat into your arms, forgetting yourself for a moment as you watched the animal snuggle against you. âHow can you be scared of this?â
He thought this was ridiculous. A woman like you, dressed head to toe in designer clothing, letting a stray cat all over her. It was completely unexpected and strangely alluring.
âPut that thing down.â He narrowed his eyes at the cat as you scratched under his chin. Just as quickly as it had slipped off, he could see you compose yourself once again. You straightened out your posture, your smile fading and turning less genuine and more polite, practised. He couldnât help but immediately miss the unfiltered version of you he had just gotten the briefest of glimpses of.Â
âItâs not a thing, Rafayel, itâs a cat.â You sounded amused. âLook at how harmless it is.â
You held out the cat, and he recoiled away from you, glaring at the feline. He took his cap off, shaking his head and huffing. âItâs a viscous beast. If it scratches or bites you, donât expect me to help you.â
The quick reply he expected from your end never came, because when he met your gaze again, you were staring at him â at his head, specifically. For all he knew, you were taking note of how terrible he looked now that he had lost the cap. Those things always made his scalp sweat, but they were his best bet at hiding his face without coming off looking too suspicious.Â
âYour hair is curly.â
Your cadence was back to being clipped, short, but there was something different there as well. Softer.Â
âWow. Ladies and gentlemen, we have with us the real-life Sherlock Holmes.â He snorted, running his fingers through his tangled locks, before offering up the explanation you were clearly expecting. âStylists usually end up straightening it. Something about it fitting my image better.â
âI see.â You studied him for a moment longer before looking back down at the cat. You quite liked his natural hair, but then again, he could probably pull off a trash bag and somehow make it look stylish. Not that heâd ever agree to that, but the thought almost made you laugh again.
Speaking of trash bags, you looked distastefully at your surroundings. âCan we get out of here now? Iâm sure the press would have moved on by now.âÂ
âOnly if you lose the cat.â
You sat behind your desk, going over some paperwork. It was the less exciting part of your job, and you always ended up letting it pile up until you had an unreasonable amount to get through all at once. Most of your employees had gone home already, and you had sent Simone on her way as well.Â
The bright light of your office made your eyes hurt after the long day you had had, and you pressed your palms against them, sighing deeply.Â
âWow. Do you just live here?â
The hell? You glanced up to see Rafayel standing by the door, leaning against the doorway with his arms folded, looking right at you. The sight of him made something in the pit of your stomach turn.Â
Ever since the incident with the cat from a week ago, being around him no longer boiled your blood as much as it once did. He had been going out of his way to interact with you a lot more, and you hadnât done anything to discourage it. Make no mistake, he still got on your nerves, but you tolerated him for some reason, even when he got too casual with you.
Perhaps you had been a little too lenient.
âWhat are you doing here?â You demanded, pushing the paperwork to the side and narrowing your eyes at him. He pushed off the wall and walked over to your desk, plopping down in the seat across from you without any invitation to do so.Â
âI could ask you the same question. I had a meeting with Andrew about rehearsals for fashion week, but I left my jacket behind, so I came back for it. Your office is the only one with the light still on, and my curiosity won. Your turn to tell me why youâre still here since it'sââ he glanced down at the Rolex on his wrist. â âNine p.m.â
You waved your hand over the papers in front of you. âWork.â
âBut youâre the only one here. Do you do this often?â He frowned, and if you paid close attention, his voice had a note of disapproval. That made sense, he seemed like the type of person to abhor working even a second overtime. Unfortunately, you were well-versed in it.
âMost days, yes.âÂ
He blinked. âOkay, no. Get your things. Weâre leaving.â
Definitely too lenient. âWe are?â
âYep, come on. You can doâŠ.whatever youâre doing now tomorrow.â He got to his feet and stared at you expectantly, evidently waiting for you to follow suit. âI donât think you know what a break is, but youâre going to take one right now.â
Wow. Truly, the man had unprecedented levels of entitlement to try and boss you around when technically, you were his boss. Scoffing under your breath, your defiant gaze met his stubborn one.Â
âIâm busy.âÂ
âYouâll be just as busy tomorrow.âÂ
This was ridiculous. No one dared to speak to you so brazenly, and yet there he was, doing just that if there wouldnât be a single consequence. What you should have done was tell him to piss off and leave you alone so you finish your work like you had set out to do.
So why on earth did you grab your coat and follow him out of your office instead?
âIs this another instance of you wasting my time, Rafayel?â You asked as you approached his car in the parking lot. You still werenât sure what possessed you to actually follow him, but it was too late to back out of it now. A smirk teased his lips.
âMaybe.â His response resulted in you grumbling under your breath, and he laughed, fishing his keys out of his pocket and pressing a button to unlock his sleek, black Mercedes. He slid into the drivers seat and cocked his head in your direction. âGet in.â
God help you, because for some reason, you complied. âAre you going to tell me where youâre taking me?â You settled in the passenger seat, taking in the interior, because, of course, the seats were covered in bright red leather. It was as unashamedly flashy as he was in every sense of the word.
âItâs a surprise.âÂ
âI donât like surprises.â
Rafayel started the car, smoothly pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. With one hand on the gear stick and the other on the steering wheel, the scene of him driving was ridiculously attractive for something so normal. You told yourself it was just because he was a conventionally attractive person. âOf course, you donât. Relax, Miss Designer, donât you ever loosen up?âÂ
âNot if I can help it.â
âI figured. You look like the type to not know the meaning of funâ And clearly, he was a stranger to the concept of holding his tongue. One glance at the offended look on your face only made him want to tease you even more. Not too long ago, he was convinced the only expressions you were capable of were scowls and glares, but he had recently learned that you had an entire arsenal of them. Your nose would scrunch when you were disgusted, your lips would part when you were caught off guard, and if something happened to amuse you, you wouldnât smile immediately. Instead, the smile would start in your eyes, and oftentimes stay there.Â
It felt like he was slowly but surely unlocking new sides to you, and he wanted nothing more than to unravel all of them. Most of all, he wanted to figure out how to get that pretty laugh out of you once more.Â
For no reason in particular. He was just a naturally curious person.Â
âLook,â he reasoned with you. âYouâre gonna have to trust me on this one, alright? Itâs not far off and it's worth it.âÂ
â...Fine.â You finally relented, relaxing just a little as you leaned back in the passenger seat and busied yourself by looking out of the window as he drove. Minutes later, he pulled up by a modern-looking structure that consisted of only a ground floor. Once he parked, he cleared his throat.
âReady?â
âI donât know what Iâm supposed to be ready for,â you said dryly, undoing your seatbelt and getting out of the car. He grinned like he had won the lottery.Â
âThatâs what makes it even better.â Faulty logic and all, he led you to the entrance of the building and opened the door, sauntering inside like he owned the place. You lingered outside, noting how all the lights were off, and it clearly looked like it was closed.Â
You couldnât not be suspicious. âAre we trespassing?âÂ
âNah. Trespassing would mean weâre here without permission.â Rafayel gestured for you to follow him into the darkness, the moonlight filtering in through the door and letting you see just enough of him to not lose your bearings. He reached out and felt around the wall before humming triumphantly and flipping a switch. âThere we go. Stop thinking so much and trust me, yeah?âÂ
Squinting to readjust your eyesight to the now-bright lighting, you were left even more dumbfounded than before. âWeâre in anâŠ.art gallery?â
White walls with frames hanging on them surrounded you, each with little plaques under the art pieces with the artist's information. Some of the walls were constructed in the centre of the room for people to walk around as they inspected the art. There didnât seem to be any sort of theme with the current display, from what you could tell.Â
âAgain, with those deduction skills,â he teased, and strangely enough, you didnât want to slap him for it. âIâll have you know that art can be very therapeutic. Great for taking a break from workingâ
It wasnât every day you found yourself spontaneously being dragged to an art gallery, and having company was something even rarer. You had long since made peace with your lifestyle and its lonesome nature, but you were admittedly enjoying his presence, even if it was a little too chaotic for your liking.Â
âIâm pretty sure thats to do with creating it.â You almost smiled when he glared at you for your rebuttal. Huffing, he turned and walked further into the gallery, leaving you with no choice but to follow along. You were well aware that you were encouraging his crazy behaviour, but it wasnât like you could stop now.Â
So you picked up your pace, pulling your coat around yourself tighter as you took in the different art pieces. Portraits, landscapes and some abstract pieces, the different art styles captivated you. You had always had an affinity for art, since fashion was so intrinsically intertwined with it.Â
Lost in your thoughts, you almost walked right into his back. Fortunately, he turned around at the perfect moment and reached out, hand on your shoulder. The contact snapped you out of it, and you looked up at him only to find an apprehensive look in his eyes. That didnât make much sense though, considering how cocky and self-assured he was.Â
Raising your eyebrows in silent question, he sighed and moved out of your line of sight, revealing a wall.
Your eyes widened, all the air in your lungs leaving you at once.
The wall was covered in artwork of the sea. Every single piece was extremely detailed, some moody with their depictions of storms and deadly waves and others painting a picture of the sea at its calmest.Â
It was stunning, and even that word felt like an understatement. It simply did not do what you were currently looking at justice. The artist had captured the terrifying beauty of the sea so perfectly that looking at it stirred something akin to inspiration inside of you.
To you, the seafom resembled lace. The wheels in your head began to turn as more comparisons burst forth â the sand could be chiffon, and the waves themselves draped like silk. It had been so long since you had felt creativity like this that all you could do was stare, letting your skills take over and work through all the ideas that rushed forth, feeling overwhelmed and delighted all at once.
A singular plaque on the wall sat low and hidden away, tucked under all the art. You crouched down slightly, eager to know the person who had inspired you once more.
Anonymous.
You blinked, rising to your full height as you looked back at the art, dazed. âItâs beautiful.â
âThank you.â
You spun around, unable to stop yourself from gaping at him. His stance was relaxed, hands in his pockets, and his eyes trained on the artwork. At first, you had thought you had misheard him, but the tone of his voice and the way he was looking at the paintings with what could only be described as pride told you otherwise.
âYou made these?âÂ
Your disbelief was unmistakable, and it stung a little. He chuckled at the incredulity in your voice as you asked the question, nodding slowly. âSurprised?â
âVery, yes.â You glanced between the art and him. âWhy have you shown me this, Rafayel?â
âYou donât think very much of me,â It was a statement, rather than a question. He said it with a small simper, but it was unlike the one he usually wore. It was genuine, if not a little sad, no traces of that signature smirk of his as he met your eyes now.Â
âYouâve never given me a reason to.âÂ
âWell, there you go. Hereâs your reason.â His voice was oddly quiet. âTo think of me better, that is.â
You truly didnât know what to make of that. Only one question remained in your mind as you eyed the artist's plaque that held no information about the man beside you. âWhy have you chosen to be anonymous? Your work is wonderful.â
Pride flickered to life in his eyes once more, like your compliment meant something. âBecause this way, people will appreciate my art for what it is, without my affiliation. Iâm not an idiot, Y/n, I know the entire world knows who I am. The moment they find out Iâm the one who painted these, it wonât just be about the art anymore. Itâll be about me. Sure, it would get a lot more attention than it does here, sitting in the back of a barely known art gallery, but at least whatever attention it does get is real.â
Oh.
Rafayel was shallow, with a silver tongue he didnât know how to control. He infuriated you to no end and thought much too highly of himself for his own good. He was vain, arrogant, and about a dozen other things that you thought of as faults.Â
But he was so much more. As of late, you were beginning to see who he was past all of that. You saw the man who was irrationally afraid of cats and, for some reason, went out of his way to talk to you. You saw the artist behind the model, curls and all. The softer smiles and perceptiveness that you would have never attributed to him before.Â
âI wonât say this often, so donât get used to it.â You said slowly, glancing back at him. âBut you were right, I did need a break. Thank you for this.â
He and you werenât so different. Both of you were artists in your own right, seeking control over the art you created. The only difference was that he held that control by distancing himself from his work, whereas you were the very essence of yourself. Both of you had pride that clashed and egos that didnât take kindly to bruising.
You no longer knew what to make of Qi Rafayel. That should have scared you.Â
But when he flashed you a boyish grin at your admittance to him being right, you realised that it didnât.
It was past ten when Rafayel dropped you back home.
You made a beeline for your home office, forgetting to take off your shoes in your frenzied state. Within minutes, you were hunched over new, fresh pieces of paper, your old sketches discarded in a trash can and forgotten about. Your pencil flew over the pages as you frantically began to draw out new designs, eager to capture the ideas that had been swirling around in your head the moment you saw those paintings.Â
Inspiration was powerful, but fleeting. For the next two hours, you poured everything out onto those pages, and it felt like you were submerged underwater, unable to come up for air until you were finished. Your newest collection came to fruition that night, born from an unexpected muse.Â
When you were done and the sound of waves in your mind receded, you were left with the sounds of the city and a sense of tired satisfaction.Â
Jimmy Choo's were meant to be savoured. They were the type of shoes that people glided in, they made the simple act of walking an experience to remember.Â
They were not meant for the furious strides of one very livid fashion designer.
âAndrew!â Your model's manager flinched at the sharpness in your voice as you addressed him. âWhy on earth are they not walking yet?â
âThereâs just been a small delayââ
âI am in no mood for excuses.â You snapped, sweeping your gaze over the lineup of models standing ready but doing absolutely nothing. âHonestly, Iâm starting to think Iâm surrounded by imbeciles. First, I find out that the hems of an entire rack of shirts have been messed up and have to spend my entire morning explaining how to fix that problem to people who apparently donât know how to do their jobs. Then I come here to check on how rehearsal is going, only to see that it hasnât even begun.âÂ
Andrew scrambled to appease you. âWeâre starting right away!â
With that strangled declaration, he jumped into action, snapping his fingers in the direction of the models. âAll of you! Behind the curtain, stat! In order, I want all of you walking out like you will for the show, understood? Chop Chop!â
Rafayel watched you from the end of the line, moving along with it until he was positioned correctly. This was the first rehearsal for the Paris Fashion Week show that was rapidly approaching, with only about two months left before the final day. Today, all that was taking place were run-throughs of the walks and setting the order of the models walking. His position was confirmed since the start, he would be the last one to walk, the much-anticipated closer of the show.Â
He noticed your tense shoulders, the way your lips were pressed together in a thin, displeased line. The first model walked out, and you studied her like a hawk, no doubt mentally filing away all your criticisms. Imposing as ever, your bad mood was evident.
For some crazy reason, he wanted to help alleviate it. He had seen past this untouchable facade you put up and had peeked through the cracks in your walls a couple of times now, when your pink lips curled upward just slightly, and your eyes glimmered a little brighter than usual. When you were just yourself, instead of the persona you played to stay at the top.Â
It seemed to him that you didnât let anyone see that side of you. Instead, you did everything in your power to avoid letting it show.
What a lonely existence that must have been.Â
He walked out onto the practice runway when it was his turn, one foot in front of the other as he glided smoothly, focusing on a spot on the wall directly in front of him. It was the same old routine he had practised and perfected for years now.
When he reached the end, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other before turning around. His view shifted to you, and he let it linger, savouring the way you stared at him. For a split second, he was sure your expression softened, but just as quickly, that softness vanished. He continued his walk until he disappeared behind the curtain once more.
Another run-through with Andrew yelling out the changes he wanted each model to make, and then they were all afforded a generous ten-minute break. Rafeyel did not know why he found himself gravitating towards where you stood.Â
âShouldnât you be with the rest of the models?â You raised an eyebrow as he approached you, trying your best to sound as indifferent as possible. That wasnât something you typically had trouble with, but now it felt a little harder to do when faced with the intensity of his attention.Â
âWhen have I ever done anything I was supposed to?âÂ
You exhaled, shaking your head bemusedly. âDonât sound so proud of it.â
âYou look stressed.â Rafayel's voice was low and thoughtful, almost as if he actually cared. You snuffed out that thought. He had been on your mind a dangerous amount as of late, but there was a perfectly rational explanation for that: he had inspired you.Â
âIâm always stressed. Iâve been on my feet all day.â You rubbed the spot between your eyebrows with your index and middle finger, smoothening out the frown that had formed.Â
âHave you learnt nothing from being around me? What happened to taking breaks?â He groaned, but it was more theatrical than genuinely perturbed. âOr do you need me around to make sure you take them?â
Absolutely not. Having Rafayel around was proving to be detrimental to your sanity for reasons entirely different to those expected. You tilted your head towards the other models and waved your hand in their general direction. âWhat I need you to do is your job, not loiter around here.âÂ
 He laughed like you had told the world's funniest joke, pinning you in place with a knowing look. âOh, just admit it already. Iâm the most entertainment youâve had in a while. You love being around me, even if you donât want to admit it.Â
You pursed your lips. âThe juryâs still out on that one.â
âIs it, though?â His habit of incessantly questioning you was getting old, but that addictive drawl of his voice pulled you right back in. âYouâre smiling.â
To your mild dismay, you realised he was right. Now that he pointed it out, you could feel how the apples of your cheeks were raised with the upward curve of the sides of your mouth. Scoffing, you tried your best to erase any evidence of the sort as you turned away, but to no avail.Â
âYour break is over, you can stop pestering me now.â But your tone was lighter than it had been all day. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and walked off, joining the group of models who were gearing up to practice their walks once more. As the distance between the two of you increased, you realised with a start that you unfortunately did quite like being around him.Â
But there wasnât a rule that said you had to admit to such a thing. Rafayel was like a breath of fresh air after almost drowning, or a lagoon in the middle of a desert. Unpredictable and against everything you knew to be true about life, and yetâŠ
There was something undeniably charged between the two of you, from the way he sought you out and how you let him linger. Neither of you dared to acknowledge this, however, keeping your distance literally and figuratively.Â
As he paraded down the runway once again with the elegance of a swan but the flamboyance of a peacock, you couldnât help but wonder if it was that predictability and control you so desperately clung to that held you back. The second you let yourself go for just a little while, you found the inspiration you had been so desperately waiting for.
The past week had you being more productive than you had in months, your designs for fashion week already in production. With how everything was going, the collection for the runway would be ready by next week, which would finally put everything back on track. You had to constantly check in to ensure things were going exactly how you wanted them to, but for the first time in a long time, it felt like you could let go of your tight hold and just breathe.
And if a certain pretty boy was plaguing your thoughts, well, that was no one else's business.Â
Maybe he was rubbing off on you.
âThis way.â You turned the corner into yet another hallway, causing Rafayel to wonder just how big the Lumiere building was. You had summoned him there out of the blue, giving him no explanation as to why you wanted him there and only reminding him to be on time. The request was definitely unlike your usual self, more aligned with his impulsive nature, but he couldnât bring himself to refuse.
And so there he was, following you through the endless corridors. When he had asked why he was there, all he received was an uncharacteristically mischievous look in your eyes and nothing more. When he probed for answers, you only said one thing: âI thought you liked surprises.â
Never in a million years had he expected you, of all people, to throw his words back in his face. You had successfully piqued his curiosity, and he trailed behind you now, eager to see what you had in store.
Finally, you stopped in front of a door and brought out a pair of keys. âCurrently, only select individuals have access to this room,â you informed him as you unlocked it, before pausing and looking at him. âYouâll be the first and only person who isnât from Lumiere itself to witness what Iâm about to show you. It goes without saying that itâs a secret for now.â
âI feel like the Sherlock joke has gone a little too far,â he muttered dryly. âYou have a thing for suspense now.â
Your lips twitched, and you pushed the door open, letting him enter first. When he did, he froze in place, jaw falling open as he made sense of what he was looking at.
Mannequins filled the room, the same number as the number of models there were for the fashion week show. Each form had complete outfits on, and each one was exquisite in ways he couldnât properly describe the way it deserved. Navy blue satin gowns with hand-stitched embroidery and ivory-coloured lace hems, intricate golden beading on cream corset tops, deep turquoise shirts made of the finest silk, and skirts that looked like waterfalls, layered with intent, short in the front and long in the back. Netted tops and coats with the most gorgeous pearl detailing he had ever seen, flowy chiffon shirts that were artfully tucked into white pants â every piece was thoughtfully designed and lovingly put together.Â
Rafayel was rendered completely speechless.Â
âIntroducing Lumiereâs 20[XX]Â Spring Collection.â You announced, stepping beside him and regarding your work with pride. Your hands were tucked behind your back, your stance bashful, but he could tell you were anything but. You knew what your work was worth, and you werenât shy about it.Â
He wasnât the type of person who was used to having nothing to say â quite the opposite â but there he was, rooted to the spot in awe as you walked over to one of the mannequins and slightly adjusted the skirt on it. The simple action told him just how much each piece meant to you, how well you knew them. He intimately understood the familiarity an artist had with their work, but seeing that mirrored in you was something else entirely.
âY/n,â he breathed out, âThis isâŠâ
âIâm hoping youâre going to say âimpressive.â It might be a little too late to walk for Chanel now.â There you were again, throwing his own words back in his face, and he couldnât, for the life of him, figure out why he liked it so much. It was so completely unlike you.Â
âItâs more than impressive, youâve outdone yourself.â He said, finally managing to break out of the reverie he had found himself in.Â
âIs that so?â You looked over your shoulder back at him, the slightest of smiles teasing your lips. âYou havenât even seen what youâre going to wear yet.âÂ
Without so much as another glance in his direction, you gracefully weaved through the mannequins to the back of the room. It was all he could do to follow along, doing his utmost best not to knock anything over as he gaped. As he passed each outfit up close, details he hadn't seen before revealed themselves, and he had to resist reaching out to touch.
And in the back, on the final mannequin, was the garment that took his breath away.Â
A shirt made from blood red organza silk that had an iridescent quality to it, shifting colours when the light hit it from different angles. From red to blue to violet, Rafayel found himself entranced by its ever-changing nature, eyeing the pale blue pearl details on the collar with deep appreciation. It was completely sheer, with subtle winding patterns stitched into the delicate fabric that resembled coral.Â
âI hand-stitched this one myself, and in three weeks, youâll be the one wearing it to close my show.â You said softly, trailing your fingers over the sleeve with care. You toyed with the end of it, watching how his eyes went wide and lips parted in something close to reverence.Â
âItâs phenomenal. All of it is.â He couldnât tear his eyes away from it, taking a step closer to you and the mannequin. âItâs so different from anything Iâve seen, especially from you.â
âYeah, well, I realised that I didnât just want to put out a collection that meant nothing.â It was true, the very thing that had driven you as you had put the collection around you together. âFashion is more than just clothing. Itâs an art form. Itâs supposed to evoke a feeling, to be able to tell a story and have its own identity.âÂ
The devotion you possessed towards your work was admirable, it was so plainly obvious that this was exactly what you were meant to do. Utterly enamoured, he spoke, âItâs gonna be one hell of a show.â
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. You had been around him long enough to know he wasnât someone who took anything too seriously, but the earnest look he was giving you that he definitely took this â and by extension, you â very seriously.Â
âGood, but I donât want to just want to put on any show. I want it to be a performance.â You aimed to leave an impact, for people to leave the show and think about the experience for weeks, maybe even months, after. Rafayel realised that you were trusting him with enabling that by divulging your vision to him.
âThen itâs an honour to be one of your performers.â
That earned him a proper smile, not just the hint of one. It was small but mighty, starting in your eyes like your smiles always did, but this one was the rare type that reached your mouth and lit up your features. He found himself feeling winded for the second time in the past ten minutes, but this time it was because of you and not the clothing. At least he could explain the latter option.
âIn that case, what do you think about a more permanent position at Lumiere?â
It wasnât like this was the first time he had been offered this, but shock infiltrated his system anyway. âLike Xavier Shen?â
You nodded. âLike Xavier. A brand ambassador.â Waving a hand around, you continued, âYou fit with Lumiereâs image and the vision I have for my brand, so I believe you wonât disappoint. I donât say that lightly, or to every model. Of course, Iâm not forcing anything on you, and you can take your time to think about it.âÂ
Such plainly stated praise from the impossible-to-please Y/n L/n was practically unheard of, but there you were, staring at him with finality in your eyes. Arms folded over your chest, hair pinned up in that perfect bun as always and stiletto-clad feet, you were the same as always and yet he couldnât seem to perceive you as he had in the past.Â
Thomas would be overjoyed at him finally taking something seriously. His aunt would certainly approve of the collaboration, and heâd be walking for a fashion house he actually cared about. It seemed perfect.
âI donât need time.â Rafayel looked at the shirt that he would soon be wearing. âYouâve got yourself a new brand ambassador.â
The airhostess led you to your seat in first class, dragging your carry-on suitcase behind her. Once your bag was in the overhead cabin and you were settled in your seat, she returned a couple of minutes later with the drinks menu and a cart, patiently waiting for your order. You leaned back in the plush seat and scanned over the available options.Â
God knows, youâd need the drink. Alcohol now acquired, you took a leisurely sip and tried your best to relax, but that was easier said than done. Boarding was still going on, and in about half an hour, youâd be airborne. The thought caused your stomach to churn.Â
To say you werenât a fan of flying would be an understatement. Sure, you had to do it a lot for work and shouldâve probably been used to it by now, but that wasnât the case at all. Oftentimes, you found yourself clutching at the armrests for dear life during take-off, which, in your opinion, was the worst bit, and remained on edge throughout the flight. Even the comfort of first class didnât help very much.Â
When you landed in Paris, there would be exactly ten days before the start of Fashion Week. You would be at your busiest since NYFW, and the added stress of anticipating that only added to your jittery state. Sighing deeply, you closed your eyes for a moment to ground yourself, index and middle finger rubbing against your temple.Â
âWell, hello there, neighbour. Fancy seeing you here.â
Your eyes flew open, settling on the culprit of the voice.Â
Rafayel stood in the booth right next to yours, looking the opposite of how you felt, completely at ease in this setting.Â
âWhy are you here?â
He raised an eyebrow. âThe same as you, I presume, to get to Paris. Did you expect me to take a boat or something?â And then, as if he owned the place (which was his usual way of carrying himself), he rested his arms over the walls of your small enclosure, chin propped in his palm. âI guess Thomas booked the same flight as yours.â
âIt certainly seems that way. Are you going to bother me the entire flight?â You felt mildly embarrassed at how you had blurted out the question so disgracefully.Â
âAs much as I possibly can, yes.â He beamed like he had delivered the best news of your life. âIsn't it lucky our seats are so close?â
âSuch a blessing,â You deadpanned, needing another drink despite your current one not being anywhere close to finished. The rest of the first class was completely empty, which meant you were stuck with his relentless pestering, whether you liked it or not, confined to the same space as him for the next seven and a half hours.Â
Brilliant.Â
Rafayel snorted. âIâm going to pretend that you meant that.â The airhostess appeared once again with her cart, and he opted for whiskey, neat and on the rocks. Once he had obtained his drink, he turned to you and held his glass out. âCheers.âÂ
You were too busy giving him an unimpressed look to remember your flying anxiety, until one of the airhostesses stepped into the first class section and announced that the takeoff would be soon. Immediately, you put your drink in its holder and frantically gripped the armrest as she went through the motions of the safety debrief. Rafayel sat down in his own seat, but looked over at you in amusement.Â
âYou seriously pay attention to these things?â
âWhat does it look like?â
âI mean, havenât you been on enough flights to know the basics by now?â He fastened his seatbelt as the safety instructions were done, and the lights dimmed, the plane getting ready for take-off.Â
âIt doesnât hurt to be reminded.â You muttered under your breath, but the cadence of your voice had taken a shaky turn, which was a far cry from its usual firm, clipped nature. Rafayel shot you an inquisitive look before noticing the death grip you had on the armrest and the tense set of your shoulders.Â
Whatever teasing comment that lay on the tip of his tongue dissolved as he dropped his voice. âHey. Are you okay?âÂ
âIâm fine.â
âThat was the most unconvincing âIâm fineâ Iâve ever heard.â He tilted his head and studied you for a moment. âYouâre pale.âÂ
The plane began to pick up speed, causing you to dig your manicured nails into the leather of the armrest and stare straight ahead at the blank screen in front of you. Usually, you always started a movie by now to distract yourself from your fear, but this time, you had paid so much attention to Rafayel that you had forgotten your routine when it came to flying.
But your silence told Rafayel everything he needed to know. âHey. Look at me.â
âRafayel, I am in no mood for yourââ
âTell me about the Spring Collection.â
You whipped your head to him, considerably confused by the sudden change of topic. âWhat? Why? Youâve seen the entire thing upfront.â
He sighed theatrically and gave you a pointed look. âJust do it, will you?â
This bizarre man. You didnât think youâd ever be able to understand how his brain worked. Still, if there was one thing you allowed yourself to brag about, it was your work. Crossing your legs, you tried your best to relax in your seat.Â
âItâs inspired by the sea, which actually, you have yourself to thank for,â you said, getting straight to the point without beating around the bush.Â
Rafayelâs lips parted. âI do?âÂ
âYour art.â You clarified, giving him a meaningful look. âIt really struck a chord in me. One look at it and I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the collection, which was surprising considering I had been going through a bit of a creative rut.â You recalled how your creativity had come rushing back to you all at once, the moment you set your eyes on his paintings.Â
He told himself heâd dissect the warm feeling in his gut later, a smug look taking over his features. âI am nothing if not inspiring.â
You scoffed under your breath, shaking your head in disbelief at his conceitedness and wondering why-oh-why you found it somewhat endearing now. âDonât let it get to your head.â
âToo late.â A slow, languid smirk stretched out on his lips as he took a sip of his whiskey, the amber liquid swirling around in his glass. Your eyes betrayed you, dropping to his mouth and watching as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. âIâm gonna brag about this forever. Where is the show going to be held?â
âIn a cathedral.â You averted your gaze, feeling heat creep up your neck and onto the apples of your cheeks. Clearing your throat, you sipped your champagne in an attempt to soothe your ruffled feathers, hoping it would cool you down and keep your face from flushing.Â
What the fuck was wrong with you?Â
âA cathedral, huh? Youâre really going all out.â He rubbed his chin in thought. âItâs gonna have a very operatic feel to it.âÂ
âThatâs exactly what Iâm going for,â you admitted, pleasantly surprised that he had grasped exactly what you wanted to put across without you going in depth at all. It was as if he had reached into your mind and taken the words out of your mouth. Even Xavier wasnât this perceptive.
Now, why on earth were you comparing him to Xavier? This was madness. Something was obviously very wrong with you since your train of thought had never been this outlandish before. You couldnât make sense of it at all, simply because you had never been subjected to feeling this way before. Why was there a fluttery sensation in the pits of your stomach? What was this warmth that seemed to simmer underneath the expanse of your skin every time he looked at you?Â
Oh my god. Were you flustered by Qi Rafayel?
As that absolutely insane possibility made itself known, the lights in the cabin flickered back on, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to reality. Rafayel was already watching you, amused, taking another leisurely sip of his drink and blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil. Blinking rapidly, you realised that you were already airborne and had made it through take-off without a hitch.
And that was when it hit you: all this talk about the collection and the show had been for your benefit. The model had been distracting you on purpose, somehow picking up on your fear. His presence, one that you had previously considered as bothersome, had been the very thing to calm you down.Â
You didnât know what to say.Â
âNow then,â he picked up the bowlful of salted nuts one of the airhostesses had gotten upon his request, eyes twinkling as he popped a handful into his mouth. âTell me more.â
Day one of Paris Fashion Week was a whirlwind.
You had been invited to watch two shows that day, the first of which was a Marc Jacobs runway show. The second show was for Dubois Designs, after which Gabriette had made sure to personally meet you and insist that you attend the afterparty as well. The new addition to your schedule gave you less than an hour to get ready for the aforementioned party, since right before it, you had a talk and presentation with Anna Wintour.Â
Between the glitz and glamour and one too many coffees, it was only the first day, and you had been thrust right back into the chaos you so loved and thrived in.Â
Dubois Designs was huge in Paris, being the home city of the brand and the founder. Even with your conditional friendship with Gabriette, you could admit that her show had been incredible. The exaggerated silhouettes had been eye-catching, and the craftsmanship was truly remarkable.Â
You descended the stairs and found yourself in a large, crowded basement. The party itself was in full swing, moody red lighting bathing the entire room while simultaneously keeping it dark. It fit the edgier aesthetic that Dubois Designs tended to lean towards, despite being a luxury fashion house. A DJ was tucked into a corner, mixing the electronic music as the backdrop for people to drink and dance to their heart's content.Â
Familiar faces stopped and greeted you as you made your way to the bar, knowing youâd definitely need a drink to enjoy all this. The darkness made it a little harder to recognise people, but most of them were well-known faces in the industry, from models to actors and even some well-known influencers. Having to be social at almost midnight was not something you particularly enjoyed, but it was the start of fashion week, and your adrenaline was at an all-time high, making all of this much more tolerable than usual.Â
Getting yourself a gin and tonic, you began consuming it at a pace that would ensure you had a pleasant buzz in about twenty minutes. The energy around you was palpable, the ebb and flow of it was surprisingly infectious, forcing you to subconsciously loosen up.Â
âY/n! You made it!â
The French accent gave her away before she even stepped into your line of sight. Gabriette appeared seemingly out of nowhere, throwing her arms around you and giving you air kisses on both cheeks. You returned the gesture, tentatively returning her hug before pulling away.
âOf course I did. How could I ever refuse a personal invite from you?â You smiled the commercial smile you practised for events such as these. âAfter a show like that, I knew the afterparty would be just as spectacular.â
It was obvious that she was still riding off the high that the success of her show had brought, but you couldnât blame her. She laughed, the sound a tad bit too shrill, âYou are too kind. I have people to meet, but please, enjoy yourself.â
And with another exaggerated air kiss, she left you to your own devices, continuing on her mission of making rounds through the party. Events like these always tended to be impersonal, interactions were short and fleeting, and the more connections you managed to make in one night, the better. The industry was filled with young people looking to connect, and this was the best way to do so.
You finished your drink while chatting with the creative director of Louis Vuitton, who expressed their excitement for your upcoming show. As you engaged in conversation, you observed the scenes going on all around you, a sense of wistfulness taking over you. There was a point in your life when you thought youâd never belong in this world, back then when it felt too out of reach for a young aspirant such as yourself.Â
As your eyes swept across the room, they snagged on a familiar pair staring right back at you.Â
Rafayel cocked his head to the side when he caught your eye, immediately excusing himself from the conversation he had been having and making his way over. Unsure of what compelled you to do the same, you slipped through the crowd until you met him halfway.
âI did not think you would be here,â you admitted once within earshot. You hadnât seen him for the past two days, with him being busy with photoshoots and other such events, his manager had added to his itinerary at the last minute (to his dismay).Â
Now that he was before you, his gaze dropped, slowly dragging over your figure from bottom to top like he was committing it to memory. The act sent inexplicable shivers up your spine, and you gripped your glass to show yourself from physically reacting, but that was harder said than done.Â
He wore a dark red shirt that had shimmery lilies embroidered across it, mostly unbuttoned to expose the smooth skin of his chest and torso. With his hair slightly dishevelled in a way that made him seem effortlessly attractive and the dark lighting casting sharp shadows over his face that brought out the intensity in his typically soft visage, he was truly something to behold.Â
Devilishly handsome, temptation incarnate.
âGabriette invited me.â He waved his hand dismissively as he explained, like he didnât really care. âSomething about nurturing goodwill.â
âSheâs all about that, isnât she?â You muttered dryly. The loud music almost made your quip inaudible, but he caught on anyway, delighted at the hint of the sassy nature you possessed under all that seriousness.Â
âI didnât think this was your scene.âÂ
You wore a blue drop waist Lumiere mini dress and Isabel Marant fringe boots on your feet. Signature Vivienne Westwood earrings dangled from your ears, glinting through your styled hair whenever the light caught them. The entire outfit was in stark contrast to what he was used to seeing you in, devoid of any formality and primness.Â
âItâs not, but you know.â A playful smirk adorned your lips as you swayed to the music, looking so much more relaxed than normal. âGoodwill and all.â
God, he could get addicted to that. âShame, you secretly being a party girl would have made you even more interesting.â
âAm I not interesting enough for you?â Your voice teetered on the edge of mockery with the question, shifting your weight from one foot to the other and staring up at him defiantly.Â
âTrust me, Y/n, you have no idea just how interesting I think you are.â He said smoothly, plucking your drink out of your hand and placing it off to the side, but before you could reprimand him for doing so, his hand cupped your elbow gently and pulled you along with him.Â
âDance with me.â
It wasnât a request, but rather a statement he was annoyingly sure you would comply with. You supposed you didnât have much of a say in the matter with how he was basically dragging you with him, but it had been a while since you found yourself able to be properly irritated with him.Â
Even in the dim lighting, you were acutely aware of how people watched the two of you, eyes following your every movement, but you knew who they were actually looking at. You might have been Y/n L/n, the fashion industry's darling, but he was Qi Rafayel. You didnât live under a rock; you knew of his reputation as the life of the party, but now you could see that play out in real time. A party wasnât a good one without him. In all honesty, that was probably the reason Gabriette invited him in the first place.
Rafayel was made for the spotlight. Wickedly charming with levels of confidence that some would spend their entire life chasing, he basked in the attention being thrown his way like it was a form of currency. Perhaps it was, in a sense, what they exchanged to be able to admire such an alluring soul in his element.
The entire room watched him, but Rafayel? His eyes were locked on you.Â
You felt your mouth go dry, and a hammering began within the confines of your ribcage, slow at first but building up to a crescendo. His hands slipped from your elbows down to your waist, holding you gingerly. Everyone begged for even a speck of his attention, but all of his was on you, and the effect was downright dizzying.Â
âYou look beautiful.â
âThank you.âÂ
How proper of you. Mirth danced about in his expression as he pulled you just a tad closer, knowing fully well he was pushing your limits. âArenât you going to pay the compliment back?â
âYouâre a world-famous model, Rafayel. I harshly think you need me telling you how good you look.â You looked over his shoulder, unable to hold any eye contact with him.Â
âNo,â he mused, dipping his head until his mouth was just by your ear. âBut you could tell me how hot I am.âÂ
Every syllable dripped with that delicious, insufferable cockiness you desperately wished you still loathed. You could feel the warmth of his breath tickle the skin of your neck, and you turned your head until you were face to face with each other, so painfully close it felt illegal.Â
One thing was becoming quickly apparent to you, and that was that whatever you felt towards Rafayel wasnât the plain old, run-of-the-mill attraction. That was just one aspect of it, especially in this moment, running through the charged air between the two of you like an electric current. The tension was almost tangible, like a live wire you were tempted to wrap your fingers around and tug.
But there was so much more. His willingness to share his art with you, even though he kept it a secret from the rest of the world. Distracting you on the plane. Challenging you to be better, even when you hated how he went about it. You, turning him into your muse, letting him inspire both you and your work.Â
You had disliked him because he was out of your realm of control. He wasnât someone you could put a leash on and expect to follow every order; no, he did things his way and forced you to see the good in it. Now, however, you realised that you didnât want to try and control him. You liked the unpredictability.
âIâd never do that.â You whispered, hating how breathless you must have sounded. Still, you made no effort to reclaim your personal space, addicted to the close proximity from the second you had been exposed to it. You finally understood why everyone wanted this. Wanted him.Â
A knowing smile stretched across his face, and in spite of your best efforts, you found yourself utterly enraptured by it.Â
âOh, I know.â
Rafayel was tipsy, just about aware of the bass-boosted music, with a lazy smile on his face as he ordered two drinks at the bar. You were somewhere out there waiting for him to return with them, no doubt ready with a scathing remark about how long he was taking.Â
He didnât know what he was doing. He couldnât recall the last time he felt so bewitched by someone, solely because he never let anyone get close enough. Keeping people at arm's length was something he was well-versed in, but for some reason, he had only pulled you closer. His attempts at breaking down your walls had resulted in him letting you through his.
You, and your scrutinising gaze and sharp tongue. Beautiful. Unforgiving.Â
âMr. Qi?â
He turned to the source of the voice, finding a man standing there with a determined look on his face. Rafayel raised an eyebrow. âYes?â
âLovely to make your acquaintance, sir, Iâm Gabriette Duboisâ assistant.â He adjusted his glasses and continued. âMiss Dubois is overjoyed that you made it, and she would be here herself if something hadnât come up. She wanted me to pass on a message.â
The drinks arrived. Rafayel tugged them closer to where he leaned against the bar, nodding. âGo on.â
âMiss Dubois is interested in working with you once again.â The assistant held out a business card, evidently not picking up on the man's surprise. As far as he remembered, the collaboration between Dubois Designs and him had been a couple of years ago and a roaring success, but there had never been any talk of extending it. He had expected that, since he had been his usual difficult self, Gabriette hadnât appreciated it very much. Moreover, this was before he had catapulted into being considered one of the world's hottest models, so she had had no reason to keep him on for any longer.
âI see.â
âShe awaits good news from your end. Take the time to think about it.âÂ
And with that, the man left Rafayel alone once more. He toyed with the business card for a couple of moments before slipping it into his pocket. Then, he picked up the drinks and made his way back to you.
âHow many times have you been to Paris?â
You stitched your eyebrows together in thought. âFour times, maybe?â
Rafayel looked scandalised, eyes widening and mouth falling open like you had personally offended him. âAnd this is your first time exploring?â
âI come here very briefly and only for work, Rafayel,â You spooned a heap of thick cream into your hot chocolate. âI should be working right now, but someone insisted I accompany him to the middle of nowhere.â
âI insisted you take a break, since you clearly donât know how to take one yourself.âÂ
That much was true. After a gruelling rehearsal (one that ended in you talking sternly to your employees about not ensuring the practice runway was to scale), he had caught up to you and demanded you drop everything and follow him. Maybe all the stress had been getting to you because you let him convince you, but not without complaint. You made your annoyance with the situation quite obvious, even if it wasnât genuine at all.Â
He had suggested taking a walk, which is what this insane outing had started as, but when you admitted to never having actually explored the city, he acted like you had personally offended him. He decided to take matters into his own hands, which was how you ended up in a small boulangerie that was hidden away in one of the Parisian streets.Â
The hot chocolate was rich, and the croissant you had ordered was perfectly buttery and flaky. By no means did the bakery look like a place a celebrity would frequent, with its old-timey decor and peeling paint job, but it had a certain charm to it, run by a lovely old lady who immediately began fussing over Rafayel the moment the two of you arrived. Later, he told you that it was a secret gem and one of his favourite places to frequent whenever he was in Paris.Â
It turned out that was quite often, so much so that he even had an apartment here. He absolutely loved the city of love, which was why he was so flabbergasted at you not knowing much about it despite having been there several times.Â
âFashion week is a very important time for me. I can rest after it's over.âÂ
âWorkaholic.â He jibed at you, stealing a piece of your croissant. âIâm going to take you around.â
You tried to protest, âThatâs unnecessary-â
âTrust me, itâs necessary. Besides, I already asked Thomas to bring my car.â
âYour car?âÂ
He gave you a too-innocent smile. âDid I not mention I have a car here? Donât worry, it's very nice. A convertible, too.â
âYouâre ridiculous.â You looked off to the side to conceal the grin that was threatening to break out on your face. There were about a million other things you could think of that you should have been doing, and yet here you were, going along with his shenanigans.
Once you were done eating and emerged from the bakery, his sports car was indeed waiting out for both of you with the roof pulled back. He ushered you into the passenger seat, going so far as to open the door for you before taking his place behind the steering wheel and pulling out of park.Â
Rafayel had no destination in mind, simply wanting to spend more time with you and keep you away from your precious work. Due to the late hour, they were mostly empty, which made the drive pleasantly smooth. He switched the radio on, the latest and greatest pop music filling the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you.Â
The lamps cast a dim yellow light over the Parisian streets, and you took it all in, watching intently from the car as they passed you by. By no means was this the greatest tour in the world â far from it. He didnât tell you what you were looking at, too busy humming along to a Taylor Swift song, but it stirred up a feeling deep within you that you couldnât quite put your finger on.Â
The sounds of late-night Paris mixed with his voice, turning into a melody you would have never thought was worth listening to before. It wrapped around your senses, and little by little, you let yourself go. Your posture relaxed, your jaw softened from its perpetually clenched state, and you let out a breath you didnât even know you had been holding in.Â
And for the first time in a long time, you realised that the loneliness you were so used to carrying around was nowhere to be found.Â
The only other person who managed to lessen the sense of isolation you harboured was Xavier, and even he couldnât do it all the time, and yet, the headstrong man driving you around had somehow managed to break down all your walls and let you out of the prison you had built for yourself. While others expected you to break from the pressure that came with your position, he made sure you didnât, even when you refused his help.Â
You sat forward in your seat, shutting your eyes as the cool night air blew against your face. Perhaps it defeated the point of the ride if you werenât looking around anymore, but you couldnât help it. It had been so long since you had been able to completely let go around someone else that you wanted to savour every second of the moment.Â
Rafayel glanced over and found it almost impossible to look away from you. Eyes fluttering open with shadows cast from your eyelashes and dancing on your face. Wind in your hair, hair that was finally let out of its perfect updo and allowed to freely fall over your shoulders. The way your head was tilted up just slightly as you stared at the starless sky, focused on the crescent moon overhead.Â
God, you were a painting he could never do justice to, but desperately wished he was able to.Â
Forcing himself to look away, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and focused his attention back on the roads he cruised down. âI should take you back to your hotel."Â
âYeah,â you mumbled, leaning back against the seat. âI have a lot to do tomorrow.âÂ
âWhen do you not?â
âJust drive!â You forced exasperation into your voice as you put in the address of the hotel into his GPS. This moment was one you never wanted to end, but your feet were firmly rooted in reality even when your head was in the clouds. You clamped down on that wish and settled back in the seat, watching the streets pass you by.Â
But it festered anyway, latching onto you like wishes so great tended to. You had everything you could have ever wanted: money, fame, and you had achieved all your dreams, but now here you were, with a new dream blooming from the remnants of old ones, a dream you never thought would see the light of day.Â
If not for him, would you have let another trip to Paris pass you by with your head stuck in your schedule until it was time to board that flight back to New York? The notion of that had made him go out of his way to remedy it, even when you put up a fuss and tried to talk him out of it.Â
Unfortunately for you, you were rather easy to convince when it came to him.
When he pulled up to the hotel, he ignored all your protests and accompanied you to your room door. With every step you took towards the elevator, you did your utmost to keep a safe distance between your body and his, reminding yourself that this wasnât something you could get used to. You hated the giddy feeling in your chest and the way it seemed to consume you when he was around. The back of his hand brushed against yours as you stood side by side, and even though the contact was minuscule, you could feel it everywhere.Â
The doors of the elevator opened, and you walked out with purpose, desperate to put as much space as you could between the two of you. He sauntered behind you, hands casually shoved in his pockets, completely and blissfully unaware of the storm waging in your head. You stopped outside your room and turned to face him.Â
âDonât expect me to invite you in.â You warned, crossing your arms over your chest as you regarded him warily, expecting him to push back once more. âYouâve already taken enough of my time today.â
Your tone was reprimanding, but he could tell it was all just for show. There was a glint in your eyes that told him you more than enjoyed yourself today, even if youâd never admit it. He knew you well enough by now to know that you said one thing but meant something else entirely, and that solidified you as one, if not the most confusing person he had ever met.Â
And yet there he was, trying to decode you. âI wouldnât dare ask for even a second more.â
Taking a step forward, he looked down at the floor for a second before lifting his gaze back to your face, staring at you intently. The silence stretched on for a beat too long, and in that fleeting moment, those mesmerising amethyst eyes of his dropped down to your lips. Briefly, he wondered what it would be like if he just leaned forward andâ
He would have dismissed that deranged thought entirely if he hadnât caught your breath hitching. âActually, I might need a couple.âÂ
Rafayelâs eyes flickered back to yours, realising you hadnât moved away. You swallowed, too proud to be the one who looked away first, and instantly, you knew what this was: weeks of flirtation disguised as tolerance and arguments coming to a head. A silent question hung in the little space between him and you, weighted and with far too many strings attached for you to even consider. He was waiting for permission, you realised, or any sort of answer.
It was a bad, terrible, no good idea. A desire that was nothing more than a moment of weakness, one you would surely regret somewhere down the line.Â
But around him, succumbing to moments of weakness was so easy.
âThen you better make it worth it.â
His hands found your waist, tugging you closer and pressing his lips to yours without another word. He stole your breath with his, leaving you to gasp against his mouth as it moved against yours oh-so gently, like you were made of glass he refused to let shatter. You could taste the subtle sweetness the hot chocolate had left, and smell the scent of his expensive cologne, struggling to process all of it as he kissed you.Â
And fuck, how he kissed you. The world around you went silent as Rafayelâs lips fit perfectly against yours, like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together. They were soft and a little chapped from the night air, but intoxicating nonetheless.
When the two of you broke apart, he made no motion to move, keeping his hands on your hips. Your eyes fluttered open, your noses brushing against each other, and the warmth of his breath fanning over your lips. You hadnât quite returned to reality just yet, still existing in the few seconds prior.Â
Rafayel let go after a minute or so and took a step away from you. You could see it now â the way he looked at you like you were the sun and moon and stars, a type of fondness you were wholly unused to. It had been there for the past couple of weeks, but you had mistaken it for mirth.Â
âTimes up,â he muttered with an impossibly soft smile adorning his face, stuffing his hands into his pockets. âGoodnight, Y/n.â
You watched him walk away from you, down the hallway and back to the elevator. As the doors shut, he gave you a cheeky little wave, causing you to stand there flabbergasted and more confused than you had ever been in your life before. You lifted your fingers to your lips that tingled from the ghost of his kiss.
Youâd be lying if you said you didnât like it.Â
You quickly became addicted to the drug that was Rafayel.
Secret touches. Lingering glances. It had been two days since he first kissed you, and you had made no efforts to get him to stop. In between interviews and rehearsals, he somehow managed to grab hold of you and steal you away from the world, even if it was just for a couple of minutes.
His apartment in Paris was on the fourth floor, in a building with older elevators. You walked out of it and to the numbered apartment that he told you was his, knocking and waiting for him to answer. He had texted you just after you finished filming a video with Vogue, insisting that you absolutely had to come over as soon as possible.Â
When he opened the door, looking completely at ease, you suspected your mild concern had been for no reason.Â
âThere you are,â he hummed, holding a glass of wine precariously in between his fingers, sloshing it around before taking a sip. âI was wondering when youâd show up. Come inside.âÂ
You stepped over the threshold and into his apartment, following him to his living room. For someone as over-the-top as himself, it was quite the quaint place, with wooden furniture and the original paint job still intact. If you asked him about it, you figured heâd just say something pretentious about preserving the Parisian integrity of the apartment.Â
Pulling off your gloves, you tossed them on his coffee table and shrugged off your coat. He leaned against the island that separated the kitchen from his living room, watching your every move like it was a dance sequence he was trying to memorise. Once you were done, you turned to face him with an expectant look.
âFrom the urgency of your messages, I assumed there was an emergency.â
He smiled coyly, pressing the edge of his glass to his lips. âIs wanting to see you not emergency enough?â
You wanted to scream, to push him out of a window and kiss him senseless at the same damn time. That conflict inside of you bubbled over, leaving a confused bout of need in its wake because no one had ever driven you this crazy before. Narrowing your eyes at him, you walked over until you were standing right in front of him.Â
âYou know very well that Iâm busy.â
âAnd yet, here you are.â He reached out to you, taking your hand in his and pulling you closer. His hair fell into his eyes, the deep purple ends of it kissing the high of his cheekbones like wisteria hanging down from tree branches. Unable to resist, you cupped his face, brushing your thumb over the mole on his cheek with tenderness that surprised even yourself.Â
âI think youâre distracting me on purpose.â
âThere she is,â he murmured fondly, turning his face into your palm and pressing his lips against it in a soft kiss. âThe queen of cynicism.â
He gripped your wrist and slowly began peppering kisses from the centre of your palm down to your wrist, his eyes sweeping to yours. Something about the action felt strikingly intimate, sparking a fire inside of you that you hadnât known could ever exist. Your fingers curled around the back of his neck, drawing him into you for once and meeting his lips with your own.Â
You were hooked. Every brush of his mouth against yours was electrifying, precise and addictive in ways that left you wanting more every time. Wine entirely forgotten, his hands lifted to your face and held it, turning you around and pressing you against the edge of the island as he took the lead.Â
When Rafayel kissed you again, you blossomed under his touch like a flower exposed to the sun for the first time in days. His fingers entangled in your hair and cradled the back of your head delicately, his nails scratching against your scalp and sending delighted shivers down your spine. He tilted your head back so that you could meet him better, the nature of the kiss dissolving into something much more intense as his tongue swiped over your lower lip, eliciting a soft sound from the back of your throat.Â
âJesus,â he mumbled against you, pained and breathless, pulling away for a singular moment that somehow felt too long despite probably being not more than a second. When he leaned back in, his lips found the side of your mouth, trailing down to your jaw and finding the spot below your ear that made you sigh and tip your head back. He made good use of the access you had so willingly given him, leisurely leaving hot open open-mouthed kisses over the expanse of your neck, knowing exactly what to do to have you fall apart while simultaneously doing barely anything at all.Â
Your hands gripped the collar of his shirt at first, then slid down the silky fabric until they met the cool metal of his belt buckle. Emboldened by the situation, you hooked your fingers in his belt loops and tugged him even closer, until his hips were flush against yours. Your eagerness induced a dry chuckle from him, soft and barely there, puffs of his breath tickling against your pulse point. His thigh slotted between your legs before he paused, letting the gravity of what was happening hit either one of you.
It never did.
âDonât you dare stop.â You almost snapped, but it lacked that authority your voice usually possessed when delegating tasks at work, instead laced with avid desperation for something only he could give you â a thrill only he could provide. Your permission was all he required, gripping your hips and lifting you onto the kitchen island and stepping in between your legs.
âSo bossy,â you could feel him grinning against your neck. âYou canât resist ordering people around, can you?â
Before you could even think about refuting, his mouth was back on yours with a renewed sense of want, demanding and dizzying all at once. The beginnings of a retort died on your tongue when his meets yours and his hands slip under the hem of your skirt, sliding up your thighs maddeningly slow. All you could do was whine impatiently, leaning into him and giving in to that magnetic pull of his. He lifted his head, peering down at you with darkened eyes, so close that you could still taste him.Â
âTell me what you want,â he asked, squeezing your thighs in a manner that told you knew knew exactly what you wanted. âYou can do that for me, canât you?â
You glared, though it was weak. âDonât play dumb.âÂ
âFine. When was the last time someone made you come, Y/n?â
You exhaled sharply at his question, one he phrased so innocently, although it was nothing of the sort. âRafayel.â
âI thought you liked it when people were straightforward with you.â He smirked down at you, running his thumb over your lower lip and applying a little pressure, enough to have your mouth part. His other hand slipped further up your inner thigh, fingers languidly tracing the edge of your panties. He could feel you stiffen, anticipation running rampant through your veins as a wave of arousal crashed over you, rendering you pliant and wanting.Â
Dipping his head to your ear, he whispered, âYouâre always so wound up, baby. Let me help you relax.â
With that, the spark he had lit inside of you roared to life, the flames burning your blood, making you feel hot all over your body. You were wet, embarrassingly so, soaked through your underwear as a haze of lust enveloped your mind. His knuckles brushed against your clothed core, and the minimal contact made you whimper needily, flattening your palms against the flat of his chest.Â
âPlease, Rafayel.â Never, in a million years, did he ever think heâd have you begging for anything, but there you were, with your legs spread. âTouch me.â
Rafayel didnât think heâd ever been this turned on in his life.
Manoeuvring your panties to the side, his fingers dipped in between your folds, a hungry gleam blazing to life in his eyes as he watched you jerk into his touch, drinking in the way your cheeks flushed and eyebrows furrowed. Your slick coated his fingers, and he groaned, the sound low and deep as he brought them up to your clit and circled it, tantalisingly slow.Â
âYouâre so wet for me.â Shame filtered through you at his words, but it came secondary to the want that coursed through you. It wasnât like you could deny the claim anyway; you could feel it firsthand. âGonna make you feel so good.â
âYou better,â you breathed out, clutching at the ends of his shirt in a futile attempt to keep your sanity somewhat intact, but he was doing an excellent job of chipping away at it, with how expertly he rubbed your clit, increasing the pressure of the circles he rubbed against the bundle of nerves.Â
âOh, I will.â He flashed you a cocky grin, hooking his finger in the center of your panties and tugging them down your legs. âDonât you worry your pretty head about it.â
His other hand travelled underneath your top and pushed the material up your body, and you raised your arms, helping him pull it off and leaving you in a simple black bra. Still, he looked at you like you had a matching lingerie set on, humming in appreciation as he pulled your panties down your legs. They caught against one of your heels, which fell to his floor with a soft thud, but neither of you cared enough to even comprehend that. Immediately, he was back on you, middle finger pressing against your entrance as he nipped at your throat, soothing the sting his teeth left behind with licks of his tongue and wet kisses.Â
Finally, finally, he pushed one lithe finger into you and provided you with some relief, revelling in the moan you gasped out. His lips made their way down your neck and to your collarbone, kissing the swell of your breasts unhurriedly, as if he had all the time in the world to do with you as he pleased. He set a lazy pace with his finger, introducing a second one to your cunt with ease on account of how wet you were, gushing all over his hand.Â
Impatient, you reached behind and unhooked your bra, letting it fall off your shoulders and took in the appreciative look on his face when you tossed it to the side.Â
âFuck,â he looked like you had positively wrecked, like you were a witch that had put him under a spell. âYouâre killing me here.âÂ
Rafayel attacked your chest again, this time with a little less precision. His pretty pink lips dragged across your breasts, tongue flicking out and swirling around one of your your pebbled nipples, taking it into his mouth and sucking. You arched into him with a whimper, your hands finding purchase in his soft hair, holding his head close to your body. His fingers moved in and out of your cunt fast, the palm of his hand rutting against your clit rhythmically, having your toes curl out of pleasure.Â
âRaf- oh, fuck.âÂ
He looked up at you through his eyelashes, biting down on your nipple just hard enough for sparks of pain to shoot through you, mingling with the pleasure until you were left with a heady mix of both swirling inside you. You cried out, your hips bucking up against his fingers on their own accord.Â
For someone usually so well put together, it was hypnotic to watch you fall apart for him â and because of him. His mouth slipped from your nipple for a moment in favour of staring at you in wonder. âGod, youâre soâŠâ
You never found out what he meant to say, eyes rolling to the back of your head when his fingers curled inside of you, the tips of them stroking against the spot that made it hard for you to hold back your moans and whimpers. The sounds tumbled out of you like a waterfall, combined with the wet ones from your pussy, and filled the silence of his apartment, spurring him on even further as he fingered you so diligently. He went right back to lapping at your breast, his free hand kneading your other one, rolling that nipple under his thumb and pinching it.Â
âOh my god,â you whined as you helplessly ground against his palm, the heel of it digging into your clit and applying delicious pressure on it that had you losing your damn mind. You could tell you were close from the coiling sensation in your gut, and from the way your legs were trembling, he had picked up on it as well.Â
âThatâs it,â he cooed. âCome for me.â
Seconds later, your orgasm hit you hard, a choked moan of his name leaving you as you clung onto him, overwhelmed at how good it felt. He held you against him, his ministrations never letting up for even a moment as he helped you ride out your high to the fullest. Once he was satisfied, he pulled his fingers away, staring at the mess you left on them in awe.Â
And then he looked at you, and he realised that the mess of you was far prettier. Lips swollen and kiss-bitten, hair all messed up just like how heâd imagined far too many times for him to willingly admit to, and eyes blown wide with desire. The sight of you like this â so perfectly wrecked â almost made him moan aloud, but he stopped himself by kissing you once more, messily now, all teeth and tongue and heat.
âY/n,â Rafayel rasped out your name against your lips, âFuck, I need you.â
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer until you were flush against his chest, locking your legs around his hips. âThen take me.â
Bossy as ever, it only made him want you more. Gripping the underside of your thighs, he picked you up and carried you to his bedroom, lips locked with yours. He didnât know how he made it to his room, but once there, he set you on the mattress and climbed over you, taking a moment to admire you in all your glory.Â
He was a total goner.Â
âYouâre wearing too many clothes,â you huffed in between kisses, tugging impatiently at his collar and fumbling with his buttons. Rafayel laughed, finding your indignation so fucking adorable that he almost forgot what the two of you were doing, so consumed with the fact that he had you like this. When you managed to undo most of his buttons, he leaned back and pulled the shirt off, discarding it to some corner of the room and unzipped his pants.Â
His cock sprung to life as he kicked off his pants, and you were awestruck at the sight of him. The tempting lines of his abs you had forced yourself to look away from several times, now on display for only your eyes, and the flushed tip of his hard cock claiming all your attention because not only was it pretty, it was big. You bit your lower lip in anticipation, propping yourself up on your elbows to get a better look.Â
âLike what you see?â He drawled out the question with a lazy grin as he slipped on a condom, his smugness riling you up even more. Licking your lips, you pushed him away until he landed on his backside, expression morphing into one of confusion.
Aha, so it was possible to wipe that look off his face after all.Â
âSit up against the headboard,â you instructed, getting to your knees and slipping the skirt that you still had on off your body, both of you completely naked now.Â
Although surprised, he complied fairly quickly, the smirk returning with full force. âYes, maâam.âÂ
To Rafayel, this made sense. You always had to have a modicum of control over any situation, and this was how you established that here. You threw a leg over him, straddling his lap. His breath hitched when his cock came into contact with your bare cunt, unable to hold back a groan when you began to grind. The sound fired off every synapse in your brain, your body working on its own as you rolled your hips harder against him.Â
âGod, fuck,â his honeyed voice was strained with the effort it took to not just hold you still and fuck up into you. âIâm going to lose my mind if Iâm not inside you soon, pretty girl.âÂ
The nickname did something to you, going straight to your head like a strong shot of tequila. You lifted your hips, reaching between your bodies and aligning his cock with your entrance, wetness coating the tip. Circling your hips, you savoured the way he sucked in a breath between his teeth.Â
But you were a woman who had virtually no patience. Teasing him, while fun, only succeeded in making you more desperate than you already were.Â
So you steadied yourself by placing your hands on his shoulders, slowly sinking onto his length. You hissed in pleasure at the burn of the stretch, nails sinking into the skin of his shoulders and most definitely leaving marks. The near drunken sound that left him when you took all of him was the most gratifying one you had ever heard. He gripped your hips, tipping his head back against the headboard and breathing heavily.Â
âYouâ fuckâ you feel so perfect,â Rafayel stuttered in wonder, but you were still adjusting to his size to comprehend the praise properly. He was buried to the hilt, and you felt delirious, clawing at him as you tried and failed to keep yourself together. You needed him so bad it scared you, somehow growing even wetter with him inside of you because of how fucking good it felt.
Lifting your hips once again, you came down on him, mouth falling open at how he filled you up so easily. He groaned, dropping his head to the crook of your neck and ravishing it once more, both of you far too gone to even think about the consequences of leaving marks.Â
âRaf,â you whined, rocking your hips into him as you chased your high, in turn pulling his along. âShit, it feels so good.â
âI know, cutie, I know,â His mouth was on your nipple again, wrapping his lips around it and sucking harshly, sending shocks of pleasure right down to your core. Instinctively, you clenched around him, and his grip on you tightened imperceptibly, a silent warning. Naturally, as you did with most things, you took it as a challenge, this time clenching on purpose.
âYou little-â In retaliation, his thumb found your engorged clit and flicked it, causing you to screw your eyes shut and squeal with the extra stimulation.
âI canâtâ god, it's too much,â you whimpered, feeling that familiar tug in your core build rapidly. Still sensitive from your first climax, it was no wonder that you were close already. Wanting to come again, you bounced faster, earning you a pleased groan from him.Â
âYouâre incredible,â he crooned against your skin, hands running up your sides reverently as he stared at you through a half-lidded gaze. The sight of you on top of him, bare, looking so gorgeous, was enough to have him come undone, and he wanted it imprinted in his brain forever. He wanted to paint you like this, to turn you into art for his eyes alone.
You came hard, crying out his name in between the many of sounds that fell from your lips in ecstasy, gasps and moans alike. All you could think of was Rafayel, Rafayel, Rafayel as your high crashed over you like a wave crashing onto the shore.Â
Immediately, he took over, flipping your positions so that you were pressed into the mattress, his hips snapping to yours with a renewed sense of urgency. You mewled at the instant overstimulation, pawing at his torso in a weak attempt to get him to slow down, knowing damn well you didnât want him to. He grabbed at your wrists and pinned them above your head, thrilled at the gasp-moan it elicited.
âYou sound so fucking pretty,â Rafayel mumbled, sheathing himself inside of you with one final thrust, unravelling with a low moan. The two of you stayed like that for a couple of seconds, still connected, recovering from your mutual high.Â
Carefully, he pulled out, discarding the used condom and climbing right back into bed with you. His arms wrapped around your body, gathering you against his chest with all the tenderness in the world, limbs so entwined with yours that you didnât know where you started and he ended anymore.Â
âHey.â
You glanced up, finding him staring down at you with a soft, satiated smile, tracing soothing circles on your back. Like this, Rafayel was at his most irresistible to you, with his hair all mussed because of you, cheeks flushed, and every ounce of his attention on you. Try as you did, you couldnât fight hints of your own smile from showing, so you nuzzled into his neck to hide your face. âHi.â
âThere isnât a single reason for you to be shy,â he whispered playfully, propping his fingers under your chin and lifting your head so you were looking at him once more. âThat wasâ you were amazing.âÂ
âI donât get shy.â Nonetheless, your cheeks flushed at his praise.Â
He chuckled quietly. âOf course you donât.â And he kissed you again, like all the times he had just done so werenât and would never be enough for him. Cupping your jaw sweetly, it was the most innocent press of his lips to yours, not needing any more from you. You certainly didnât.
âRafayel?â You breathed his name, pulling back and looking into those captivated eyes, hues of dark fuchsia and sapphire twinkling back at you. Entranced, you realised that your heart was no longer yours to control, free from the clutches of your mind, belonging to the man who held you. It was terrifying and freeing all at once, falling without knowing when and if youâd land at all.
âHmm?â
âI think you might be my favourite muse.â
The words were honest, tinged with a vulnerability that hit home for Rafayel. He knew you didnât open up like this to anyone, but you were staring at him now with that same look you gave him after asking him to stay on at Lumiere as a brand ambassador. Something in the confines of his ribs constricted as he brushed your hair out of your face.
âWhat an honour that is.â
It was early morning when Rafayel padded to his living room. The sun hadnât risen yet. You were still in his bed, curled up under the sheets, looking so peaceful amidst your slumber. When he slipped away, he made sure not to disturb you.
For as long as he remembered, he had thrived on attention. It was something he had been handed even before his breakout into the mainstream as a top model. People constantly told him how he was meant for the limelight, standing proud at the centre of attention.
He settled on his couch, elbows on his knees and palms pressed into his eyes as he tried to think. His mind was racing, running at a mile a minute, and he was struggling to catch up.Â
You said he was your muse.Â
He had been a muse his entire life. For his aunt, for other designers and brands, he was used to it. The prospect of being a muse had never scared him before, but now he was yours, and he wasnât sure how to navigate that role anymore. You, who said his art had inspired you to create your clothing, clothing he would soon wear and show off to the world. It should have thrilled him because he rarely resonated with a brand like he did yours, and even less with people.Â
Up until you, of course. You were a force of nature, obstinate and stubborn and spectacular too, like a storm that crashed into his town and swept him away. He meant it when he said it was an honour to be your muse.Â
But he knew that after a while, people got bored of their muses. Periodically, they moved on and found a new one to devote all their time and effort to. He was used to being wanted, and he often used that to his advantage, but being the one who wanted your attention was not a role he knew how to fill. The script had been flipped on him, and he felt like an actor with zero experience, wading in waters that were much too deep for him.
Walking away had always been easy. He wasnât the type to be tied down to anything, all about living in the moment and having a good time. Now, he found himself wanting to stay, and that endlessly frightened him. What happened when he finished serving his purpose as your muse and you pushed him to the side?Â
He didnât want to stick around and find out. He couldnât bear to.
A business card lay on his coffee table. Lifting his head from his hands, he reached out and picked it up, turning the thin cardboard over in his fingers and reading the number on the back. The Dubois Designs logo glared up at him, as if taunting him with what would come to pass if he went through with this.
He picked up his phone.Â
You didnât see Rafayel after that.Â
There were many things you could attribute this to. Your swamped schedule, the dinners, afterparties, showcases and fittings that youâd never hear the end of, his own endeavours â it made sense.Â
What didnât make sense was the radio silence. He had gotten very comfortable with messaging you, even though you never entertained his overzealous texting style and only graced him with the driest of responses. Now, your phone was filled with communication from everyone except the man you were admittedly waiting to hear from.Â
Nothing.Â
Smack dab in the middle of one of the busiest weeks of your year, you didnât have the time to dwell on it. The Lumiere show drew closer, and you were heavily involved in every aspect of the preparations to make sure everything was exactly how you wanted it to be.Â
You called him once, but he hadnât picked up. It made you frown, but it wasnât like you had the right to his time. Hadnât you told him how precious yours was time and time again? Satisfied with that reasoning, you continued, pushing all thoughts of the charming man away for as long as you could.Â
âHe isnât here.âÂ
The observation slipped out of you flatly, a little too loud and emphatic even for your own ears. It was the night before the show, and the final rehearsal was underway, held right in the cathedral that would serve as the set. Typically, these run-throughs were held a couple of hours before the actual show, but that would have disturbed the normal proceedings of the church, and you had no intentions of undermining the sanctity of it.Â
You turned to your assistant and models' manager. âWhere is Rafayel?â
Simone jumped in quickly, knowing well how you hated being left hanging. âAndrew didnât see him come in, and I contacted Thomas, but he hasnât been able to get hold of him either.âÂ
âWhat on earthâŠ?â You muttered mostly to yourself as something in the pit of your stomach twisted, tight and unpleasant. His absence lately stung, but up until this moment, you had graciously let it go, figuring that there was a reason for it. Now, however, it was impossible to let it slide because he wasnât just ignoring you, he was skipping out on rehearsal, and that was a professional commitment.Â
âI heard he was difficult to work with,â Andrew commented, rubbing his chin. âBut I didnât think heâd be irresponsible.â
You wouldnât stand for it. Nodding stiffly, you spoke. âIâm leaving the rest of the rehearsal in both of your hands. I have something to check on.âÂ
Neither of them questioned you, absorbing your instructions and carrying them out efficiently. You grabbed your coat and left the cathedral, your shoes clicking against the cobbled footpaths as you hailed a cab. Your best bet on where he was would be his apartment, and that was exactly where youâd go to get your answers.Â
When you reached, the scene you were met with wasnât what you expected at all. The door to his apartment swung wide open, loud music reaching your ears from where you stood as the elevator doors opened. Swallowing down your bafflement, you slowly approached the entrance, an uncomfortable feeling settling in the middle of your chest the closer you got.Â
Once you were inside, it only got worse. The music made it hard for you to think, your eyes sweeping across the room and taking in the sight: people laughing, mingling and dancing, some of them you even recognised.Â
And in the eye of the storm was Rafayel, lounging about at the centre of the chaos around him.Â
What the fuck?
He looked so at ease, lounging on his couch with his head tipped back on the back of it, eyes closed like he was unaware of what was going on. His serene expression only stirred up your frustration, and it mixed with your confusion and the crumbs of dread that swirled around your gut. Brushing aside your discomfort, you stormed over, knocking your leg into his to alert him of your presence.Â
Rafayelâs eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused. At the sight of you, something flickered in them, but it disappeared just as quickly. âY/n,â he slurred your name, barely audible over the volume of the music. âWhat are you doing here?â
God, he was drunk. Clenching your jaw at that fact, you narrowed your eyes and set him with a glare, taking in his inebriated state.
He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to pull his scattered thoughts together through the haze of his tipsiness. His lack of answer seemed to piss you off even more, and while that might have once amused him, all it did now was make his heart sink. Grabbing his wrist, you pulled him through his apartment and back out into the hallway, not caring if you were making a scene or about who was staring.Â
âIâm going to ask this once, and only once. What the hell is all this?â You let go of his wrist, spinning on your heel to face him once it was just the two of you. The music was softer out here, making the clipped tone of your voice all the more apparent.Â
âItâs a party, sweetheart. Iâm sure you know what that is.â
âDonât call me that,â you snapped, furious at how cavalier he was being. It felt like you were back at the beginning, when you first met him, with his audacity and you struggling to keep your temper in check, except so much worse. Now, you were personally involved with him, which caused all of your emotions to lash out all at once. âDonât you know what day it is?â
âYouâre asking such odd questions, but if you must know, it's Thursday.â He looked completely uninterested in the conversation you were trying so hard to have. You grit your teeth, taking a step forward.Â
âFirst, you ignore me,â you seethed, your perfect facade crumbling bit by bit in his presence. âThen you donât show up for the show rehearsal, that is going on right now, mind you, and throw a party instead? What the fuck is wrong with you?â Your disbelief was palpable, and it grew exponentially when he scoffed, like your questioning right then was a major inconvenience.
âOh, please, you and I both know Iâll be fantastic on the runway whether Iâm at the rehearsal or not.â He leaned against the wall to hide how unsteady he felt on his feet right then, the paradox almost making him laugh. Almost.Â
âThats not the point!â You took a step toward him. âYou know it's not.â
âIsnât it?âÂ
You exhaled shakily. âNo. Itâs aboutââ Us, but was there an âusâ for you to even refer to? From the way he was looking at you right now, so cold and aloof, you doubted it. âYouâve been avoiding me.â You let the statement hang between him and you, not bother to tack on the question that sat on the tip of your tongue, letting the rhetorical nature of it take over and do the work for you.Â
Rafayel was aware of how it looked because he was the one who had made it so. He had kissed you, held you, slept with you and then disappeared. He hated the look on your face right now, the way you were staring at him so pleadingly, waiting for him to explain why, too proud to outright ask for it. He averted his gaze, staring at his shoes.Â
âAre you really that surprised?âÂ
Something in you cracked wide open. âWhat?â
âCome on, Y/n, youâre smart. Iâm sure youâre aware of my reputation.â He knew he was being an asshole, but what was one of instance of that to him? That was what the world perceived him as anywayâ a playboy with a penchant for partying and a pretty face â so why not live up to it? If it were going to protect him from getting hurt, then by all means, it would be worth it.Â
With how your face swiftly collapsed at his insinuation, it certainly didnât feel worth it. He wanted to take it back immediately, to take you by the shoulders and tell you the truth and hold you like he had just days ago.Â
He couldnât. Everything about wanting you terrified him because of the intensity of that desire. He had never felt like this before, and the thought of you someday not wanting him back was unbearable. He knew how he was: selfish, self-serving to a fault, difficult and exhausting at times, so very skilled at pushing people away. Eventually, youâd get tired of him and leave.
The idea of you walking away scared him so much that he opted to run away first to save himself from that pain.
âDidâDid everything that happened between us mean nothing to you?â You despised the way you stuttered, the stilted rhythm of your speech that betrayed the emotion behind it, because it made you feel weak. Out of control.
Perhaps if he were a better man, a stronger one, heâd tell you the truth. Heâd tell you that it had meant the most to him, and how nothing had ever mattered as much as you did.Â
But he wasnât.
âWas it supposed to?â
You couldnât conceal the sharp gasp that left you at his cruel words, staggering away from him like you had been shot. The man in front of you was one you didnât recognise, a mere phantom of the one you thought you knew. He had Rafayelâs eyes and hair and stature, but it wasnât the same Rafayel that had torn through your walls and coaxed the real you out into the light, the part of you that you kept hidden away from the rest of the world. Instead, it was a man who held those secrets and threw them back in your face like they had meant nothing.
You had let your guard down and let him in, forgetting how easy that made it for you to get hurt. Those walls that once towered so high around had come crashing down, and you didnât know how to rebuild. Hot tears burned your eyes, heartbreak mingling in with your rage toward him, but you refused to cry. You wouldnât give him any more of yourself than you already had.
All you had left was your dignity, and youâd be damned if you let that go.Â
He was right; he had a reputation for a reason, and you should never have expected anything more. You pulled yourself together, momentarily wondering how you ever let yourself be so stupid.
âYou will walk in the show tomorrow.â You forced yourself to sound steady, fingers curled into fists at how enraged you felt. âAnd then you will never walk for Lumiere again. Do you understand?â
The cold fury in your cadence wasnât lost on him, and neither was the way you were shutting him out and shutting down. You had gotten used to expressing yourself freely when around him, and even now, it was like all your feelings were plastered across your face for him to see. It was awful to watch you blink away your tears so rapidly, knowing that they were because of him, how your lips twisted downward at the sorrow you felt but refused to give in to.
Rafayel hated that he was the one who had caused you this pain, but he couldnât backtrack now. He had come this far, he might as well finish the job. Maybe it would be easier if you hated him.
âThat wonât be a problem. Iâll be signed with Dubois Designs.âÂ
You felt the betrayal before you processed it.
It started as a dull ache in the centre of your chest, gradually worsening until it felt like someone was standing on top of it, making it hard for you to breathe. When itâ what he had doneâ finally hit you, you could no longer think straight, unstable on your feet despite being the sober one. You had spent your entire life keeping your cards close to your chest, only for the one person you had let peek at them to burn the whole deck.Â
There was a lump in your throat and a knife in your back.
When you spoke again, your voice was dangerously quiet. âAfter tomorrow, I never want to see you again.âÂ
With your head held high and heart sinking low, you turned on your heel and left, stepping into the old elevator without sparing him another glance. Part of you wanted nothing more than you shake him and make him feel the way you did right then, but that would require casting your pride aside, and frankly, you didnât have it in you. You wouldnât let him take that away from you.Â
Rafayel watched you leave, frozen in place. The irony wasnât lost on him; he had run away from the future possibility of you walking away from him, only to have you do exactly that right now. The party continued in the background, but all he could think of were the tears in your eyes and how fucking hurt you looked because of what he had just done to you. To himself.Â
You emerged back into the Parisian streets, the cold air nipping at the exposed skin of your neck. Pulling your coat tighter around yourself, you looked up at the sky and then at your surroundings, those tears you had so valiantly fought against finally trickling down your face.
The city of love had never looked so dull.Â
The models were lined up and in place. Every seat was filled, celebrities and critics alike taking the front row. Photographers had their equipment in place, ready to capture the results of your hard work. You stood backstage, and despite having done this so many times, you felt a little nervous.Â
Everyone looked fabulous in your clothing, the stylists carefully draping them in the delicate fabrics and complicated pieces. Both the women and men models had little Swarovski crystals embedded in their hair that would shimmer when the light hit them, with the womenâs hair being done in beach waves. Last-minute touch-ups to the makeup, some models having to be quite literally stitched into their outfitsâ it was that unique brand of madness that only existed behind the veiled curtains of a fashion show.Â
This was it. The end of a season for Lumiere. Months of fretting over details and extensive planning, hours upon hours of work and stress and obstacles would culminate in the twelve minutes that your models took the stage for.Â
âOn in ten,â Simone announced, taking her spot beside you. âReady?â
âAs Iâll ever be,â you mumbled, both your hands over your stomach in an attempt to calm its churning. The lights came on all of a sudden, signalling that the show was about to begin. The music began playing, and the first model rolled her shoulders, straightened her posture, and lifted her head just slightly, a look of concentration dawning on her face.
And down the runway she went.
She glided down the runway with grace, and a hush fell over the audience at the magnificent sight, fabrics shimmering as the dramatic lighting hit them. Once she reached the end, she twirled gracefully and turned to return as the next model emerged into the spotlight. They passed each other on their respective paths, hums of appreciation arising from the onlookers. Haunting organ music accompanied the models as they walked one by one, dramatic and exquisite.Â
Operatic.
It was funny how only one person had ever been able to capture the essence of what you had envisioned so perfectly and put it into words. It was fitting, you supposed, the muse would understand what he inspired. He now stood at the back of the line, waiting his turn to take the runway and blow everyone away with the final piece of the collection.Â
Rafayelâs eyes met yours across the backstage area one final time, so brief that you would have missed it if you werenât already looking at him. For his look, you had instructed the stylists to leave his hair in its natural curly state, and with the crystals in it, he truly looked like a character from a fairytale. When you looked at him now, though, his beauty wasnât what you were transfixed on.
It was the look in his eyes. Forlorn, longing andâŠ.defeated? The combination resulted in something inexplicable, but it chipped away at a suspicion you had been harbouring ever since the night before, one that you had buried deep to save yourself from the pain that would come with trying to understand it. For how well he could read you, it seemed that you could do the same for him, and now, that split second of eye contact told you everything you needed to know.
Everything that had happened between the two of you had meant something to him, and for some reason, he lied to you and said it didnât.Â
You didnât want to know why.
Rafayel stepped out and onto the runway, his expression morphing into one you had seen in magazines and on your website. The dark red organza silk of his shirt shimmered in the light like light upon ocean waves, hints of blue and purple making a show as he walked. Captivating as ever, he brought your clothing to life with every step he took.Â
The perfect closer for a sensational show.
When it was time for you to walk out, you plastered on a smile and waved, placing one foot in front of the other like your life depended on it. Cameras flashed, and thunderous applause was heard throughout the cathedral, especially when you took your place in the middle of your models as they lined up for a final bow. You joined then, a weight rolling off your shoulders as the show came to a spectacular close, undoubtedly a resounding success.Â
You had done it. This show was unlike any other you had put on, and no doubt everyone would be talking about it. You had stepped out of your comfort zone when it came to designing and achieved your goal of putting on a spectacle that made the audience feel.
So why did you feel so hollow?
After surviving a swarm of paparazzi shouting questions at you, desperate for even a sliver of your attention and a glance at their lenses and shaking the hands of impressed critics, you found yourself at the Lumiere afterparty. People you called loosely called friends for appearances' sake, celebrities, influencers, and fellow designers were all in attendance, showering you in congratulations and complimenting your work. They said the show would go down in fashion history as iconic and asked how you managed to do it once again. You smiled and drank and tried your best to bask in your well-deserved glory at a party you didnât want to be at, in a city that was tainted.
And at this party, Qi Rafayel was nowhere to be found.
New York was as unforgiving as ever.
Your life resumed its regular course when you returned; fittings, photoshoots, interviews, and so much paperwork. You threw yourself into your work, filling every spare moment of your day with something to do, fix, or delegate, an arguably pathetic attempt at keeping yourself from thinking of him.Â
The cacophony of the city accompanied your every solitary step, and you took comfort in it. The incessant honking while stuck in traffic and the chatter of pedestrians filled your senses, whether you were sitting in the back of a cab or running errands. It served as background music to your loneliness, and while you might have once been satisfied with it, you found it hard to go back to that blissfully ignorant state.Â
Because now you had a taste of what it felt like to not be quite so lonely. Rafayel had waltzed into your life like the tempest of allure and insolence he was and drenched your world in colour. He had taken you out of your box and painted you a new perspective, one you had so foolishly assumed heâd view by your side.
Early mornings and late nights â your days began to blur together until you werenât sure when they started and ended. Your voice lacked the bite it usually had when reprimanding your employees for any stupid mistakes. If your coffee was cold, you drank it anyway, perplexing Simone. You walked through the hallways of the Lumeire building during those long work days and returned to your penthouse in the dead of night, moving under the heavy silence that completely claimed the large space.Â
You loathed him for making the life you had so carefully built for yourself feel so miserable. More than anything, you hated how you wished he were still in it.Â
Rafayel threw a party.
He didnât even want to be there anymore. Everything about it felt wrong. His drink wasnât strong enough, the music was too loud, and there were too many fucking people around. He didnât even like any of them; it was the usual crowd that showed up whenever he hosted one of these things, and while he could usually get along with them, right now all their presence did was remind him that the one person he truly wanted beside him wanted nothing to do with him.Â
A pitiful try at filling a void he had created himself. He didnât want anything to do with himself either.Â
God, he missed you. He missed that rare smile you seldom let show, the ridiculous updo you always had your hair done in, and the passion in your eyes when you spoke about your work. He missed your voice, your crimson painted lips and scrutinising glare that made everyone it was directed at shrink. The way youâd scowl when he teased you, and the softness with which you told him he was your favourite muse.
As he glanced at the doorway of his apartment, he almost willed you to walk through it like you had in Paris, on that fateful night when he ruined everything. He imagined you appearing there, huffing in displeasure at the pandemonium of this stupid party and wanting to see him. Idiotically, he braced himself for exactly that, waiting and watching like it was something that would actually happen.Â
But he knew it wouldnât. Instead of waiting around for it to happen, he realised that for the first time in his life, heâd have to work for what he wanted.Â
He would have to go to you.Â
Walking into the Lumiere building after two months away was a strange experience.Â
It seemed like nothing had changed, not that he expected it to. He had almost become an ambassador for the brand, and now there he was, walking down its hallways as nothing more than an exiled stranger.Â
His feet carried him to your office, knowing that was where youâd be, always holed up in there with a thousand things to get done. Passing the conference room where he first met you four months ago, he wondered how things had gotten to this point. Back then, he had been reluctant to get involved with Lumiere.Â
Funny.Â
When he reached your office, you seemed to be in conversation with someone. One glance at the silvery blond hair on the man, and he recognised him as Xavier Shen, the model he had replaced. Now, the man seemed perfectly healthy, standing on his feet as the two of you conversed. The sight reminded Rafayel that he truly might not be needed by you anymore, in every sense of the word.Â
Still, he steeled himself and pushed the glass door open, not bothering to knock. He never did in the past, so why start now?
âHuh. You really do live here.âÂ
Both Xavier and you turned to him, and the first thing he noticed was how tired you looked. Your shoulders looked like the weight of the world rested upon them, slumped just a little bit, and prominent dark circles under your eyes. It seemed he was right in assuming you were running yourself ragged; he knew your habits well enough. Still, even with all that, to him, you looked positively radiant.Â
At the sight of him standing there with his hands in his pockets, your heart stuttered before it twisted in pain. He was the same as ever, his presence commanding the entirety of your office like no one else but you could, still a sight for sore eyes. That ever-present playful tone to his voice, however, was weaker than you remembered, just barely hiding the thick layer of vulnerability just below the surface.
âI thought I said I never wanted to see you again.âÂ
 Xavier glanced between you and Rafayel before clearing his throat. âIâm gonna take my leave. See you tomorrow.â He gave you a sharp nod and slipped out. Rafayel barely comprehended the other man leaving, so focused on being in the same room as you again.Â
âI know.â Those words were fresh in his mind even after all these weeks, eating away at him. They were the reason it took him so long to come here, so afraid youâd turn him away the second he showed his face, but he knew heâd regret it for the rest of his life if he didnât try. âI know, I justâŠâ He trailed off, not quite sure what to say now that he was face to face with you.Â
âWhat do you want, Rafayel?â You took a seat behind your desk and defensively folded your arms over your chest, keeping your guard up. âTo waste more of my time? To remind me how little I meant to you? Take your pick, and do it quickly because I donât have all day.âÂ
He looked pained. âI want to talk. Please.â
A bitter laugh escaped you. âAnd why should I listen to anything you have to say?â
âYou shouldnât,â he admitted, walking to your desk. âBut Iâm asking you to, anyway.â
You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief as you looked off to the side. He somehow had the gall to walk into your building and ask to talk to you when he had no right to do so. It was just so like him, selfish with total disregard for your feelings, and as much as you wanted to tell him to get out, a small, hopeless part of you wanted to hear what he had to say.Â
You supposed that was what you got for falling for someone like him. âFine. Talk.â
Relief flooded his system. He sat down on one of the cushioned chairs in front of your desk and tried to gather his thoughts. There was so much he wanted to say, but he hadnât the faintest idea of where to start. âIâm sorry.â
That had seemed like a pretty good place to begin, but with the way your eyes narrowed, he wondered if he had already made a mistake. Lord knows it wouldnât be his first or last one. âThat could have been an email.â
âWould you have read it?â
You clenched your jaw at his rash question, opting to stay silent. Rafayel wanted to slap himself, knowing he was being an asshole even now, the one time he was actively trying to avoid doing so. He didnât deserve even a second of your time; he should have walked out of your life and stayed away to avoid causing you any more pain.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and forged on. âI fucked up, I know that. Iâve neverâ I lied and said that none of it mattered, butâ fuck, this is coming out all wrong.â He rubbed a hand over his face, frustrated at his inability to say what he wanted in a manner that made even a sliver of sense. âI was scared.âÂ
All that self-assuredness you were so used to was nowhere to be seen now as he stumbled over his words. It was jarring to see Rafayel admit to being scared when you had only ever associated him with unshakable confidence.Â
âScared of what? Me?â Â
There was something fractured in the way you asked that, fragile even. He immediately refuted the claim, feeling awful that you would even consider it a possibility. âNo, god no, not you. Never you.â His eyes snapped to yours, full of earnestness that made you instantly believe him. âYou called me your muse.âÂ
You let out a slow breath. âI remember.âÂ
Rafayel gripped the armrests on either side of him, looking off to the side, his throat bobbing with uncertainty as he contemplated whether this was a good idea anymore. âBut muses are temporary. They canât inspire forever, and god knows Iâm not someone who thinks about forever.â A huff of forced laughter. âBut with you, I did. I wanted to be the one that inspired you forever and that scared the shit out of me.â
Here they were, answers to questions you had been too proud to ask. He ran his fingers through his straightened hair, pushing it back and out of his face. Regardless of how restless he felt, he continued, knowing that the truth was the least of what you deserved. âFor the first, fuck, maybe the only time in my life, I wanted to stay. I was so afraid that youâd wake up one day and realise Iâm not worth being your muse and youâd walk away. Pick someone else.âÂ
âDo you really think so little of me?â You asked quietly, unable to look anywhere but him.Â
âI didnât know what to think,â He said honestly. âIâve never cared so much, and the thought of you leaving because you didnât find me inspiring enough for your creationsââ He cut himself off and dropped his head, as if suddenly realising how fucking awful his assumption sounded out loud. âI thought the only way to avoid that would be to leave first, and I know that that makes no sense, but IâŠ.Iâm so sorry.â
You had been called a lot of things in your life: difficult, stubborn, unreasonable, and yet somehow, this stung the worst. He had made the decision for you, leaving you to deal with the repercussions of an outcome you didnât have a hand in choosing.Â
âYou thought I saw you as a means to an end.â Your voice was devoid of emotion, hollow, anguished eyes never once finding his. âWhen I only ever thought of you as a beginning.â
For something that was a concept, it was funny how his regret manifested itself as a physical ache, ripping through his chest and causing his throat to close up on itself. Your words cut through him, reminding him of how he was the one to rush to an end that you hadnât even considered.Â
Maybe this wasnât salvageable. Maybe all he was destined for was to live with the knowledge that he had finally loved someone other than himself, and ruined it.Â
âI know what it feels like to be loved.â It took everything in him to keep looking at you when it seemed like you couldnât bear to even glance at him. His tongue felt like it was made of lead, heavy and uncooperative as he tried to say what he had known for so long. âAdoration, infatuation, whatever. I know when someone is in love with me, but Iâve never felt the same way. I donât know how to, but I think whatever I feel for you has to be pretty damn close, andââÂ
âDonât you dare.â
ââIâm in love with you, Y/n.â
A shattered breath left you, your composure faltering completely at the confession. Nothing about this was fair. Your heart was bruised and battered, but it fluttered to life completely against your will when he said it, and you detested it. You wanted to hate him so badly, even when it was so clear that you loved him. Why else would all this hurt so bad?Â
They said pride came before fall, but in your case, you fell first, and now it was your pride that stopped you from letting him back in. You knew he didnât deserve a shred of forgiveness, and you also knew that if you looked at him right now, youâd let go of the anger you were so desperately holding onto. It was the only thing keeping you from being totally vulnerable, so you kept your gaze on your mahogany desk, trying your hardest to stay strong.
âI think you should leave.â
Quiet enough to conceal how choked up you truly felt, you knew you didnât mean it. You needed the time and space to think about everything that had happened. You couldnât just forgive him even if you wanted to, so skilled at holding a grudge as you were, the bitter realisation that you were perhaps as scared as he was right then making itself known.Â
Rafayel had never been good at doing what he was told, but there was no place for his sense of entitlement here. He had done enough damage, and if you wanted him to leave, then that was exactly what heâd do. Getting to his feet, he stared at you one last time, waiting, wishing and hoping youâd look up.
But you didnât.
So he left your office, complying with your wishes without argument. It should have pleased you, considering how you hated rebuttals when it came to people following your orders.Â
But as you watched him walk through those doors, you had never wanted someone to defy you more than in that moment.
When a storm comes to an end, it does so in parts.
First, the wind stops howling. As it does, the heavy showers relent and turn back into the light drizzle it started as, gentle and harmless. The darkened clouds clear up, giving way to clear blue skies and the warm, golden rays of the sun.Â
Resentment worked differently when it came to someone you loved. It turned out that both those feelingsâ resentment and loveâ could exist simultaneously, even when it seemed nearly impossible, but when the latter was real, it made it exhausting to hold on to all that anger. Love itself was confusing, contradictory, and so difficult to navigate, especially when it was good.
And when had anything good been easy?
The art gallery was pretty much empty, seeing that it was almost eight p.m., which was when it closed. You swept through the different hallways, procrastinating, approaching the showcase you were truly there for.Â
And why the hell were you there?
Because, despite everything, Rafayel was still everything you wanted, and you were so tired of pretending he wasnât. You had spent night after night going over everything that had happened over the past six months and trying to convince yourself of the opposite, but when it came down to it, one thing was abundantly clear: he made you happy like no one else could. He could accomplish the opposite as well, but one extreme would not exist if the other didnât.Â
He was flawed, but so were you. Your pride made it impossible for you to see that at first, making you punish yourself and stay miserable, even though the one thing you wanted was within reach. You turned it away, thinking that refusal would help you forget him and the way he made you feel, but it didnât. Maybe it didnât make any sense, but maybe it wasnât supposed to. You had spent so much of your life making sure everything went exactly how you wanted, caging yourself within your own expectations.Â
Stepping into the back, you were in front of the very wall he had shown you all those months ago when he had dragged you out of your office. Even when you werenât sure of him, he was the only person in your life who had ever forced you to live.Â
Your breath hitched.
The paintings had been rearranged with a new one in the centre. The colours stood out against the others, this one bathed in warm oranges and yellows, a faceless woman leaning out of the roof of a car with the wind in her hair. There was something distinctively wistful about it, like she was being viewed from the lens of another.Â
It was you.
You took a hesitant step forward, instinctively looking at the artist plaque despite knowing that it would read âanonymousâ. Not that it mattered, of course, because you knew exactly who had made it.Â
âY/n?â
You turned, and there Rafayel was. It had been a while since you had seen him, and during that time, he had stayed out of the limelight completelyâno articles in tabloids, no rumours, nothing. Your pulse picked up at the sight of him, and you felt like a child being caught doing something they werenât supposed to.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â The ridiculous question left you before you could stop it. His lips twitched slightly, a hint of amusement bleeding into those all-consuming eyes.Â
âForgot already? Iâm a little insulted.â He spoke gently, cocking his head towards his artwork. He studied you for a moment. âWhy are you here?â
When it came to him, you always found yourself wanting to do opposite things at the same time. You wanted to run away, but more than anything, you wanted to run right back into his arms. If that made you an idiot, well, wasnât everyone allowed to be one every once in a while?
âI donât know.â
A soft smile, so much like the one he gave you that night when he first kissed you. âNo, you do. You of all people donât do things without a reason.â
There he went again, reading you like a book without your permission. You looked back at the painting of you, skillfully evading his question with one of your own. âWhen did you make that?â
âRecently.â Hesitantly, he made his way to your side, like he wasnât sure if he had a spot there anymore, but in typical Rafayel fashion, he took it anyway. âIâve had time on my hands.â
âHow?â
âI havenât been modelling that much lately. Thomas is just about fed up with me.â His attempt at levity wasnât lost on you. You were quite aware of his absence from the spotlight as of late, but something nagged at the back of your mind, telling you that you had a piece of the puzzle missing.Â
Then it hit you as your eyes swept to him, once again succumbing to the gravitational pull he possessed. âBut what about Dubois Designs?"
He slipped his hands into his pockets, not meeting your eyes. âThey sent over a contract.â He admitted, clearing his throat. âBut I may have thrown it out.â
âWhy?â It felt like all you were doing was asking questions you already knew the answers to. Rafayel clicked his tongue in a mixture of mild annoyance and something else, something you couldnât quite pinpoint, giving you a knowing look.
âYou know why.â
Fuck. Both of you, stubborn, impossibly prideful people, holding each other back because of each other. It was almost laughable. Swallowing thickly, you shifted closer to him, your gaze darting back to his depiction of you. âItâs a beautiful painting.â
âYeah, well, you can thank my muse for that.â
You were breathless. âIâm your muse?â Another question lay under this one: Do you still love me?
âIf thatâs okay with you,â His eyes never strayed from you, watching you like you were the very essence of the sun itself, or the most perfect pearl in the ocean. âI wouldnât blame you if you donât want to be. I may have given it a bad rep.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, facing him properly now that you had finally worked up the nerve. âYouâve made me a fool, Qi Rafayel.âÂ
Fondness sweeter than the ripest of peaches spread over his face. âNo one could ever make you a fool, Y/n. Especially not me.â He took a tentative step forward into your personal space, and you never wanted him to leave again. âSo Iâll ask you again, why are you here?âÂ
There were a few things in this shallow, pretentious world you were certain of. Your faith in your abilities as a designer was the first, knowing that no matter what, your skills and talent would always speak for themselves more than your words ever could. The second was your preference for coffee that was piping hot, without sugar, so that the bitterness would shock your system into functioning.Â
And the third, in a sick, unfortunately fortunate twist of fate, was Qi Rafayel, the model who had traipsed into your life without so much as a warning and had turned it upside down.Â
âBecause youâre still my muse.â You whispered. âAnd as it so happens, I love you too.â
When your lips met, you knew right then and there that youâd never let him go again. Your palm cupped his face as you pulled him closer, reaquainting yourself with the feel of him against you, how the two of you fit together so perfectly as if you were made for each other. One of his hands slipped around your waist, the other coming to rest over your own over his face, keeping it trapped there as he leaned into your touch, whispering I love youâs back.Â
âIâm going to fuck up,â Rafayel mumbled against your mouth, resting his forehead against yours like he couldnât bear to be any further from you. âIâm going to piss you off and Iâm never going to be easy.â
You squeezed his forearm. âI know. Those are your most endearing qualities.â
âWill you love me even then?â He held you close, but you could feel the slight tremble in his touch. You saw him for what he was under all that indifference and chutzpah: a man who desperately loved you through his fear. Lucky for him, you were a woman who loved him through his mistakes and all the madness he brought into your life.Â
âRafayel.â With a tender whisper of his name, you pressed your lips to his reassuringly. âI love you because of it.â
Love was messy and imperfect, but so were the two of you. Neither he nor you were easy people, but when had you ever taken the easy way out of something? You wouldnât mind never getting out of this, content to stay with him for as long as heâd have you. The colours rushed back into your life, starting with the pinks and blues of his eyes as they crinkled with a smile. Heâd break every one of your rules with a smile, and youâd let him.
âGod, youâre going to regret that.â
But he was laughing, and so were you, giddy with the thought of a future with him. The sound of his laughter was so enchanting that you wanted to memorise it, and perhaps now you could, with him by your side for what you hoped would be a beginning without an end.Â
You were wholly and irrevocably in love with Qi Rafayel, infuriating quirks and all. Everyone in the industry that the two of you ruled might have thought of him as a total nightmare.Â
To everyone else, you were rivals. Bitter, relentless, and painfully agonizing.
But to Gojo, it wasn't that simple.
Sure, he'd never miss an opportunities to get under your skin, but beneath the facadeâbeneath all that sarcasmâwas something deeper. Something that tugged at his chest every time he sensed your menacing presence.
You always arrive early. Early enough that Gojo had started showing up even earlierâjust to beat you. Without a word, the two of you would always end up sitting side by side together, faces buried in books. Never acknowledging each other, but always acutely aware.
Gojo would pretend not to notice when you'd flip a page, or how your brow twitched every time you encountered a difficult passage. He'd chant to himself that he wasn't competing with you over a book as he started reading a little faster, highlighting with more intent.
But he was.
You both were.
This was your thingâcompeting without even talking.
Never giving the other the sweet satisfaction of a hint of recognition.
With this rivalry came familiarityâan unspoken rhythm between the two of you.
But lately, it felt like something else entirely.
At first, it was the stares. You'd look at him just a little too long. Not the usual narrowâeyed glare, but something steadier. Focused. Had you always looked him like that? Not with challenge, but with... intent. Like you wanted to say something, but kept choosing silence instead.
Then came the conversations. Actual ones. You'd go out of your way to talk to him about a theory you read, or debate over a book you both knew inside out. No more cold silence or passive-aggressive side-eyes. This was different.
It was still sharp. Still competitive. But now... almost collaborative?
Gojo didn't even know when it started. Didn't know when he stopped brushing it off. But he knew he didn't hate it. In fact, he started looking forward to itâyour opinions, your sarcasm, the way your mind worked, the way your eyes lit up when something genuinely interested you.
To anyone else, it probably looked like another pointless debate. Just two know-it-alls arguing to kill time.
But to Gojo, it felt like something real. Personal.
Even if neither of you dared call it that.
Now, the two of you sat eye to eye, knees brushing as you sank down between the bookshelves. The space was barely wide enough for both of you, open books forming a chaotic mess across the floor. Physics. Philosophy.
You were speaking againâsomething about string theories again.
"âlike, threads vibrating across dimensions. Not just particles or waves but strings. Orchestrating the universe, if you think about it." You turned a page, eyes fixed on the text in front of you. "Makes you think of the red string theory too."
Gojo blinked. "What, the soulmate thing?"
You gave a tiny shrug, almost dismissive. "Just saying. If the universe is built on strings, maybe some of them are... meant for connecting people."
He didn't respond. He couldn't.
Not because he didn't have a comebackâhe always had a comebackâbut because you finally looked up at him when you said it. And there was something strange about your expression. Not teasing. Not sarcastic. It was Curious. Like you were asking him to take you seriously for once.
And he did.
Your knees still brushed, a quiet but constant reminder of just how little space remained between you. Your breath hitched slightly as you spoke again, quieter this time.
"Or maybe I've lost itâI mean, it's just a theory anyway... "
Gojo should've said something. Anything. Should've told you that you were getting sentimental and ruining your image. But instead, he just stared.
And then, just for a second, your eyes flickered to his lips.
Suddenly, the silence wasn't comfortable anymore. It was thick. Tense. Vibrating. Like the strings you talked about.
He swallowed, gaze narrowing just slightly. "So... which are we?" he asked, voice low.
"Random strings that just happened to cross? Or... one of those connected ones?"
You didn't answer.
But your smileâsmall, almost knowing, told him everything he needed to know. His ears flushed pink, betraying him before he could even think of a response.
Gojo was extraordinary. He skimmed through classes like they were side quests, aced every test with minimal effort, all the while making it look so effortless. What was there to study when everything came so naturally to him? On top of that, he was absolutely adored by the teachers. His endless rantsâas irritating as they were, left them all in awe. After all, what other student grasped everything on the first try?
He was the top student for a reason.
Then, you transferred to his school, and suddenly everything had changed.
You were slowly yet surely creeping up behind him. Matching him score for score. And while others flinched at his remarks, you met him head-on, snapping back at him. In his eyes, you weren't just smartâyou were sharp.
So for the first time, he wasnât the only one the teachers praised. Suddenly, it became you and Gojo. Always sitting together, constantly being compared, and being pitted against each other as if you guys were some kind of academic rivals, because apparently to them, it was amusing to see the two of you bickering like an 'old married couple.'
But if he was being honest⊠it wasnât just the teachers who had taken notice of you.
Everyone had.
You were friendly. Charismatic. Bright. The kind of person who effortlessly makes people gather around you. Meanwhile, Gojo had his small circle, and he liked it that way. But you? You were orbiting just about everything.
Including himself. And a little too much for his liking.
At first, it irritated him. How could someone like you waltz in and start shaking up his world? How were you always thereâready with a sharp remark, always matching his pace?
Over time, this mild irritation turned into something else. Something more persistent.
He often found himself watching you in class, noting the way your brows furrowed when you were deep in thought, the way your fingers tapped restlessly against your notebook when you got impatient, and most importantly... the way you laughedâgenuine and infectious all the while being surrounded by people who gravitated to you like planets to a star.
It was infuriating.
Because the more he watched, the more he realized that he didnât exactly hate it.
And that? That was the worst part.
How could he not, when you were always in his spaceâpushing up against him to compare answers, cornering him after every test to discuss questions, and occasionally bumping into him during lunch with some ridiculously complex physics book clutched in your hands? (Oh.. one of his books, actually)
No matter how much he convinced himself, Gojo just couldnât bring himself to pull away.
âIt was just so fascinating,â you said, eyes practically sparkling and wild energy in your voice as you bounced on your feetâprobably from the sheer mix of exhaustion and caffeine. You shoved The Elegant Universe in his face, confessing, âI actually⊠stayed up all night reading it. Thanks for lending it to me.â
Your grin was shy but knowing, like you knew how insane it sounded. You stepped slightly closer, awaiting his responseâunknowingly knocking out all the air in Gojo.
Your height difference meant that while he looked down at you, you still had to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. And with barely a few inches of space between you, the only thing separating the two of you was that stupid book.
All Gojo could look at⊠were your lips. Shiny and slightly parted as you caught your breath. Oh god, had your lips always been that glossy?
Gojo blinked.
What were you saying again? Rightâthe book. His book.
Heâd lent it to you mostly on a whim, fully expecting you to take your time with it. He knew you were smart, sureâyou'd always kept up with himâbut this? He didn't expect you to devour the entire thing in one night.
Not many people could stomach the kind of dense, theoretical science he read for fun. But you? Youâd eaten it up like it was nothingâand actually enjoyed it.
When had he ever met someone who matched him like that?
Never.
And he loved it.
He scoffed, trying to recompose himself, shaking his head. âSo⊠you lost sleep over the book I gave you?â His voice came out more amused than he intended, the smirk on his lips automatic.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, just to stop himself from doing something stupid like brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
You shot him a grin and nudged him with your elbow, completely unaware of the chaos you were creating in his head. âYou make it sound like you havenât done the same.â
Damn. You got him there.
But despite your excitement, he could see the exhaustion on your face as your shoulders slumped, your eyelids drooped, and you ever so slightly staggered, as if the books in your hands were the only thing holding you upright. Regardless⊠you were still so unapologetically you.
He laughed softly.
You looked ridiculous, endearing but exhaustedâlike a sleep-deprived ape that had wandered into his space solely to ramble about string theory.
You blinked up at him, thrown off by the unexpected kindness in his voice. Your brow quirked. âAw, is that concern I hear? Are you getting soft on me, Gojo?â
He tried to roll his eyes, but it didn't quite register. Instead, he looked away, his jaw clenching as if he had just been caught doing something extremely uncool.
Maybe he shouldâve kept quiet. Let you wander offâhalf asleep, rambling about quantum mechanics, blissfully unaware of how much space youâd started to take up in his head.
Y'know, he had more books at home. More challenging ones. And the idea of you sitting cross-legged on his bed, flipping through them with that same glint in your eye, made his throat dry up.
Would you be impressed with his collection? Would you run your fingertips along the spines, reading titles under your breath as if you were performing a spell? Would you flop onto his bed like you owned the place, teasing him for alphabetizing them?
Oh no. Nope. Not going thereâwait.
âŠWhat if it involved more than just books?
What if you were lying on his covers, legs tangled in his blanket, lazily browsing through another one of his nerdy books? What if your top fell just enough to reveal the stupid collarbone heâd been obsessed with lately? You had been wearing looser shirts recently, blaming it on the heatâand god, it was driving him insane.
Especially when you leaned closer to him, practically gifting him a view of your collarbone⊠and more.
It was a miracle he hadnât failed his last quiz with all the thoughts of you on his mind.
What if you laughed at one of his stupid jokes again and shoved his shoulder while the two of you stumbled onto his mattress? What if you climbed on top of him, smug with your shiny lips curled into a flirt so sharp it made his heart stutter?
What if you leaned in closeâclose enough for him to feel the warmth of your breath against his mouth, andâ
Fuck.
His entire body tensed. His mind short-circuited. His gaze returned to your lips again as though they held the solution to some incomprehensible equation.
The worst part of all this was that you sat with him in every single class. Every. Damn. Day. Shoulder-to-shoulder. Desk-to-desk. Grinning at him like you werenât completely wrecking his sanity with each teasing comment.
God damn it.
His face flushed deeply red, and heat spread up his neck like a fever. He couldnât breatheâcouldnât think. His hands twitched uselessly in his pockets, anxious not to imagine what theyâd be doing if even a fraction of that fantasy was real.
You tilted your head, squinting at him. âDude. Did your brain just power off or something?⊠Are you okay?â
He coughed, snapping back to realityâpushing a hand through his hair and forcing a smirk. âYeah. Fine. Just⊠visualizing the tragic end of your sleep schedule.â
You snorted. âAre you worried about me again? Youâre growing pretty lousy at hiding your feelings for me, Gojo.â
Before he could respond remotely intelligent, you flashed him a mischievous grin and turned to stroll away, raising the book in a lazy wave.
âLater, nerd.â
Gojo stood there, heated and motionless, his heart pounding against his chest like it wanted to escape.
Bully Gojo, who'd bully you only because of how much he's into you and doesn't want anybody to figure that out.
Bully Gojo, who'd piss you off only to see a scowl on your face. (he secretly loves it when you look at him that way)
Bully Gojo, who'd imagine you fucking him with that angry look on ur face late at night as he fists himself, wishing it were your hand.
Bully Gojo, who takes it too far one day, and you decide you've finally had enough and get back at him by grabbing him by his collar, ready to get violent when all of a sudden you feel something pressing against your thigh.
Bully Gojo, who's shamelessly turned on just by seeing you get aggressive with him.
"You seem to be enjoyin' this, Satoru", you mutter against his ear with an amused look on your face, "Shut it", he quickly replies as a slight blush creeps up his cheeks.
Teacher!Izuku who would be your biggest fan, always eager for the days when you visited U.A. to hold meetings with the aspiring heroes especially since it meant he got to see you from time to time when you came by.
Teacher!Izuku who would ramble on about how much he admires you, gushing over your achievements with wide-eyed admiration. His words seem innocent enough, but if only you knew the thoughts he kept hidden just beneath the surface.
Teacher!Izuku who secretly runs a fan account dedicated to you, where he posts about you from behind the safety of a screen. The anonymity gives him the freedom to thirst over you, to express the desires he would never dare speak out loud in person.
Surely, you wouldnât find out, right? After all, youâre too busy being a hero to notice what people are saying about you online... or so he hopes.
love teacher!izuku sm, might js write a proper fic about this later
Satoru, sitting nearby, watched as a stranger approached you with clear lustful intentions. He had convinced himself that he wasn't interested in you and was only here for his own amusement, yet his lingering feelings for you made it difficult to ignore. As he observed the scene unfold in front of his eyes, he couldn't help but become increasingly invested in your actions.
A pang of jealousy struck his chest as he saw you reciprocate the stranger's intimate advances, choosing to engage in their lustful exchange.
He suddenly felt his breath catch as he noticed you staring at him with an arrogant grin, swiftly smirking as you drew the person in front of you closer for a passionate kiss, all while keeping your gaze fixed on him. He shifted uncomfortably, hoping you hadn't noticed his lingering gaze and the growing desire stirring within him.
Breaking the eye contact after what felt like ages, he hesitantly reached for his drink, trying to drown his overwhelming feelings. After a while, curiosity gripped him as he glanced in your direction again, hoping to catch another glimpse of you, this time without the stranger hovering over you. Instead, he found your seat empty. Nervously, he scanned the crowd, but amidst the swirling bodies and pulsing music, finding you seemed impossible.
Disappointment weighed heavily as he imagined you had already left with the stranger for the night. Slumping back in his seat, he retrieved his wallet, paid for his drinks, and hurried out of the nightclub, seeing no reason to stick around now that you were gone.
Just then, a familiar voice called out behind him, 'Leaving so soon, Toru?' He turned quickly, meeting your playful yet shy smile with a mix of surprise and a hint of satisfaction. Satoru let out a soft laugh, sensing your nervousness as he noticed your slightly blushed earsâ a stark contrast to the bold persona he had seen earlier. It dawned on him that you had waited for him instead of leaving with the stranger.
Satoru couldn't shake the feeling that the scene from earlier had been orchestrated solely to grab his attention. Perhaps the feelings between them mutual after all.
Before moving any further, you decide to drag Gojo to a washroom stall. Once you're both in there and the door has been locked, you immediately pin him against the washroom wall.
Upon leaning closer to his face, you crack a smile as you notice the slight blush that has taken over Satoru's face. "What's wrong, Satoru? You spit out, "Haven't even started yet, and you're all red." However, before Satoru was able to reply, you instantly kissed him, anticipating that he would respond with something arrogant as usual.
Gojo Satoru, who's in complete disbelief due to your actions, pushes you away, although all he wants is to feel your lips on his again, but his pride just wouldn't let him give in so easily just yet.
"Thought you wanted this Toru?" You ask, confused, as you use one hand to grab his jaw, forcing him to face you. You weren't going to move forward if he wasn't comfortable with it. "I doâI was just shocked, that's all; you should continue." He responds gently as his eyes wander about the stall, looking anywhere but your face, but that's all you need to hear before your mouth is attached to his neck, sucking hard enough to leave imprints.
Once satisfied with your work on his neck, you unbutton his shirt and play with his nipples for a while, causing him to leave a couple of strangled whines that quickly turn into a gasp as you start sucking on his already sore nips, occasionally biting, only to see Satoru's pained reaction. "Didn't think I was gonna go easy on ya' did you, Satoru?". You hear Gojo mutter out, "C-can barely feel a thing, you're terrible at this." You grinned upon hearing this, "The way your body's reacting suggests otherwise." You reply sheepishly.
Suddenly, someone enters the washroom, leading the both of you to tighten up. You hear the person argue, "Fuck Satoru, you in here? been looking for you everywhere, man." You feel Gojo jerk up in reaction as you do the same, realizing that it's nonetheless Geto Suguru, Gojo Satoru's best friend, waiting for him to come out.
"Fuck- yeah, I'll be out in a minute. Go ahead outside" he quickly screams back in frustration as he struggles to fix himself up. Coming back to your senses, you help Gojo get dressed up. Once he's decent again, you lean in closer to give him one last kiss. "Wanna continue another time?" you whisper. "Fuck you" he spits out before opening the door and walking away, leaving you alone in the stall with a painful boner as you grin to yourself thinking about the interaction that you just had with Gojo Satoru. Who knew he'd be a bottom?
"So who were you fuckin' in there?" He heard Geto ask from beside him, "What-?" Gojo replied instantly, confused as hell. "Your neck is fucking covered in hickeys, she must've been a beast, huh". "Yeah, I guess 'she' was..." he says as he brings up a hand to trace the marks you had left on his neck, recalling the moments he shared with you in the stall while a slight blush creeps up his cheeks once more.
Bully Gojo, who'd bully you only because of how much he's into you and doesn't want anybody to figure that out.
Bully Gojo, who'd piss you off only to see a scowl on your face. (he secretly loves it when you look at him that way)
Bully Gojo, who'd imagine you fucking him with that angry look on ur face late at night as he fists himself, wishing it were your hand.
Bully Gojo, who takes it too far one day, and you decide you've finally had enough and get back at him by grabbing him by his collar, ready to get violent when all of a sudden you feel something pressing against your thigh.
Bully Gojo, who's shamelessly turned on just by seeing you get aggressive with him.
"You seem to be enjoyin' this, Satoru", you mutter against his ear with an amused look on your face, "Shut it", he quickly replies as a slight blush creeps up his cheeks.
Streamer!Kenma who'd love it when you take him during his streams.
It started off as a joke between the both of you about how you could probably blow him him off from under the desk during one of his streams but truth is kenma was shamefully turned on by the idea of having you suck him off while he tried to mask his emotions and not get caught by his fans.
It did surprise him when you actually brought up the idea just before he was about to go live and carried it out just as you said you would, poor kenma wasn't sure how he'd ever be able to control himself from going insane but still tried his best to maintain his posture.
He grew hard with anticipation of whats about to come next but also tried to focus on whats being displayed on his computer screen all the while you took your sweet time messing around with him and leaving gentle touches around his groin causing him to shift in discomfort.
You then slowly began to thug on the waistband of his pants pulling it down along with his briefs just enough for his dick to spring out in front of your face. Taking him in your hands you began slowly stroking his length and placing gentle kisses at the tip before taking him completely in ur mouth just then you felt kenma's hand grabbing your hair and holding you still as you quickly looked up to see bits of his face while most of his face was hidden by the desk, you could still make out by his expressions that he was having a hard time maintaining his cool.
Kenma was unbelievably turned on and having you stop just as soon as he was getting into it wasn't really what he wanted to do but if you continued like that he was sure he'd crack and embarrass himself in front of all his fans by moaning out loud or something even worse than that if possible but he also didn't want you to stop. He thought for a moment about how he could have you stop and continue his stream or maybe have one of the best orgasm's of his life. So without another thought, being completely blinded by lust at the moment he shamelessly let his grip lose on your hair signalling you to continue.
Feeling his grip loosen as he went back to focusing his screen and carrying on the live as he usually does, you quickly got back what you were doing and sucked him off just the way you knew would drive him closer to his high. licking a strip from the bottom of his shaft to the tip giving it a quick kiss and then using your saliva as lubricant to take him further into your mouth and doing your best to get him off.
Continuing this for a while, you soon felt him twitch in your mouth you quickly fasten your pace looking up to see bits of kenma's expressions only to find him trying hard to bite back a moan as he probably had his eyes glued to the screen, but just then you felt him tug your hair again as he let out a groan and broke his mask that he tried so hard to maintain throughout, cumming deep down your throat while you nearly choke on him fighting back tears in your eyes.
Coming back to his senses kenma quickly ended his stream knowing exactly what was going to happen next . . slowly but surely notifications started piling up on kenma's screen as he quickly shifted his gaze from his screen to you with his crimson painted cheeks as you let out a loud chuckle, trying reassure him that the news would quiet down soon and he truly did want to believe that it would but his friends would never let him hear the end of this.
Although one things for sure that he didn't regret a single bit of it, it truly was one of the best orgasms he'd ever had.
(he'd probably have you do the same thing again though)