they're in it together

this is a sideblog • i love you probably

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

to the wonder of all things

The shadow doesn't hate him.

It is an odd revelation to have, considering where he is — what is happening to him. But the truth of it rings through this unending realm of absence, all the same.

The shadow does not hate him.

The shadow is tired.

The shadow wants him to sleep.

It wears the face of his friend as it lowers him into his oblivion. Her eyes cold, where they had once been sharp — almost kind. Castiel draws comfort from them, nonetheless.

Her fingers slide through the matted mess of his hair, scratch lightly over his scalp. It makes him shudder, makes him ache.

"Go to sleep, little dove." the Shadow says, and Castiel sinks under this command, his eyes slipping close. Its voice is a caress underwater, a guiding current that pulls him deeper. Castiel doesn't resist. "It's over."

Sleep comes to him like a sigh, soft and easy. And with it comes the Nothing, blanketing him until that is all there is.

"Rest, now."

Empty.

chapter one of my empty rescue fic with desi rapahel that i've been posting about is out now!!

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

chapter 2 is up!!

Castiel's grace is all too eager, already sinking deeper into Dean's soul where it is hooked to it. He tries to rein it in.

Says, "You have nothing to fear. It will hurt, but not for long. Hellspawn cannot touch you so long as you are with me. I will keep you safe."

Something soft and mellow fills Dean's soul, then. Bubbles to the surface. Castiel catalogues the colours — amber, blush, blond. Wants to sink into them.

"Be Not Afraid, is that what you're sayin'?" Dean asks.

"Yes."

or;

Castiel continues falling through the empty and uncovers another core memory! Also!! DEAN!!

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

this post is getting long but. I MEAN. IT'S THE MAIN POST!!! anyway!!!

chapter 3 is now up!

Cas is gone.

Cas is gone.

Dean's alone in the dungeon, a chill seeping into his bones through the rough concrete at his back, under his thighs. The world feels misty.

He stares at the wall to his side, wills the roiling black tar to reappear. But it doesn't.

It doesn't.

And Cas is still gone.

or;

*record scratch* *freeze frame* You must be wondering how Dean got into the Empty….

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

NOW COMPLETE!

"Yeah, about that," Dean cuts in, before the Empty can pronounce her judgement of him. "That's not gonna happen. You don't get to keep him."

"Dean —" and Castiel would like to think he does not sound panicked. But Dean pulls him back to his side. Says, "She doesn't. I meant what I was — what I was praying at you. We're going home, Cas."

Dean Winchester is foolish, and arrogant and — and mad. He is a madman. And Castiel loves him so much he doesn't know what to do with it.

Or;

Negotiating their way out!!! FINALLY!! And telling each other how they feel!!! AAHH!!!

OKAY gotta thank @angelcasendgame @faillen @no-reason-at-all and @saintedcastiel for all the cheerleading and the help ily <33333333

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

Taglist Pt. 1 (pls ask to be added/removed)

@drowninginthenight15 @naturallyathief @butterscotchdean @casgape @veethetea @eileenguy @i-have-doubts @katherine-ann1 @icefire149 @insomniamademedothis @jacobglaser @cyncity2000 @vaiamilikethis @brittanyitsnovember5th @allanalightwood @castielhasabigdick @redleavesinthewind @lookforanewangle @caught-a-dragonfly @pointyearedelvishprincling @jactingjoices @samsrowena @starcrosseddeancas @enochianribs @outofthecavern @oddityofstars @alltingfinns @thigholstercas @charlieshandmaiiden @saratsuzuki @morethensheseems @wheatforme @one-more-offbeat-anthem @deadmervsociety @achillestiel @clothlog @fellshish @passengerseatcas @sing-little-bird @lakeofourlove @deanbroco @breedablejensenackles @cockworkangels @michaelmilligan @raytoroinmybackpack @deanhisnippleisout @kjosi @girlboy-danielcain @aturnoftheearth @castielsupernatural

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

to the wonder of all things

The shadow doesn't hate him.

It is an odd revelation to have, considering where he is — what is happening to him. But the truth of it rings through this unending realm of absence, all the same.

The shadow does not hate him.

The shadow is tired.

The shadow wants him to sleep.

It wears the face of his friend as it lowers him into his oblivion. Her eyes cold, where they had once been sharp — almost kind. Castiel draws comfort from them, nonetheless.

Her fingers slide through the matted mess of his hair, scratch lightly over his scalp. It makes him shudder, makes him ache.

"Go to sleep, little dove." the Shadow says, and Castiel sinks under this command, his eyes slipping close. Its voice is a caress underwater, a guiding current that pulls him deeper. Castiel doesn't resist. "It's over."

Sleep comes to him like a sigh, soft and easy. And with it comes the Nothing, blanketing him until that is all there is.

"Rest, now."

Empty.

chapter one of my empty rescue fic with desi rapahel that i've been posting about is out now!!

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

chapter 2 is up!!

Castiel's grace is all too eager, already sinking deeper into Dean's soul where it is hooked to it. He tries to rein it in.

Says, "You have nothing to fear. It will hurt, but not for long. Hellspawn cannot touch you so long as you are with me. I will keep you safe."

Something soft and mellow fills Dean's soul, then. Bubbles to the surface. Castiel catalogues the colours — amber, blush, blond. Wants to sink into them.

"Be Not Afraid, is that what you're sayin'?" Dean asks.

"Yes."

or;

Castiel continues falling through the empty and uncovers another core memory! Also!! DEAN!!

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

this post is getting long but. I MEAN. IT'S THE MAIN POST!!! anyway!!!

chapter 3 is now up!

Cas is gone.

Cas is gone.

Dean's alone in the dungeon, a chill seeping into his bones through the rough concrete at his back, under his thighs. The world feels misty.

He stares at the wall to his side, wills the roiling black tar to reappear. But it doesn't.

It doesn't.

And Cas is still gone.

or;

record scratch freeze frame You must be wondering how Dean got into the Empty….

[hauntedpearl-deactivated2024060]

Taglist Pt.2 (ask to be added/removed)

@leoblubb @angelcasendgame @gayjackles @destieldisaster @stopcallingmethesacrificiallamb @quiet-doll @xofemeraldstars @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @petrichoravellichor @arsonistsam @approximate-to-spherical-cow @solarcas @angelsdean @sailorsally 

@klinejack @saintedcastiel @robbiethompsonlongcon @bloodydeanwinchester @naughtystiel @vegancas @plutoniclesbian @gay-destiel @meatmensch @birdstiel @twoheadedcas

@faithdeans @payphoneangel @bookluvr21

tagging bc y'all liked the other chapters pls tell me to fuck off any time!

@howldean @angelhannah @realhousewivesofsupernatural @paintedlight @madronasky @prettylilbigfoot @castaell @ohmrmulletman @potfarmercas @lateral-org @heller-castiel

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.

but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.

also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....

ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.

[demonlandline]

Insane how supernatural is 15 seasons long and everything is under explored. What were they doing for 15 years?

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

so wait. i have questions.

if heaven connects the multiverse, what happens when multiple versions of the same person in multiple AU worlds die? do they all fuse into one entity in heaven? like, is the dean we saw in spnwin an amalgamation of every version of dean that has died and gone to heaven in every universe? what does that mean for a human soul, is each iteration of a human only a fragment of a soul? a clone? or are they individuals? do they all have separate heavens next to one another but fully inaccessible? or can you go next door and hang out with your alternate universe selves? that would be pretty disconcerting..

WAIT NO. no, that cant be right. as cool as i think it is, its not right. obviously there are multiple iterations of heaven, considering that there are multiple iterations of the angels. and it's clearly a Thing that alternate universe heavens aren't supposed to be connected, bc the AU iterations of the angels couldn't just walk through some already-established rift in heaven, otherwise the entire apocalypse world plotline would be completely moot. like, apocalypse michael could have just walked into prime universe through the rift. so how are these situated? is heaven like, partitioned out like this?

(please excuse the utterly shit quality, im drawing with my finger on a cracked phone and im bad at it)

so we have the garden which connects all the heavens, and then heaven prime partitioned off from heaven alpha, beta etc, each one then linked to their respective actual living universe? or is it more like garden -> heaven -> earth, but like sheets of paper all stacked up on top of one another in "the world between worlds" voidspace? how does that work metaphysically.

since theres au heavens and au hells, are there au versions of purgatory, or do all worlds dump all their monsters into the same purgatory? what about the empty? is every version of Cas that died in every alternate universe just piled up in the one singular empty?

(if i was a fic writer, this is where i would write about an empty rescue where dean has to wade through a sea of AU cas. i would also write a self indulgent fic where the benny we are told died in prime universe was not actually benny prime. but i am not a fic writer.)

if there are multiple empties, are there multiple shadows? or just the one, existing in every dimension in the same way that chuck is implied to? did god decide to be chuck in every universe, or are there universes where chuck was "just" a prophet? that would make endverse being a real alternate universe clash a little less w the final seasons.

except there's still the problem of, how could zachariah the middle management sub-choir angel (principality?? seraph?? power?? what choir is zachariah. this is so off topic.) open a portal to an alternate universe but not either of the two most powerful archangels? ive seen great theories about angels being specialists in different areas, e.g uriel smiting towns and cas taking memories (im so fucking sorry i dont remember who posted that, its so good im so sorry) but even so, why didn't apocalypse zachy just open the prime universe for apocalypse michael once he set his sights on it? so im still thinking endverse was a pocket/illusion dimension.

and when prime universe tfw released the darkness, did amara get born in every universe or just the prime one? was she still locked in the mark in other universes? if she's the same.. uhh.. species as god, and his equal, shouldnt she be just as omnipresent in the multiverse? or does that mean each universe has its own iteration of god? or would that mean he created himself? ow. paradox migraine. if prime chuck created every other chuck, then every other iteration is just a facsimile and not truly chuck. and if that's true, did they even really beat chuck by beating him in only one iteration? or can AU chuck just open a portal and idk re-grant himself godpowers? what about AU jacks, are they still nephilim? or did every version of jack become god when prime jack did?

on that note, when chuck started to destroy the multiverse, what happened to amara in those iterations and also in general? was she captive in every universe as long as she was captive in the prime universe? is she even really gods sister, or did he create her for Plot Reasons? bc in other universes, dean still had the mark. or cas had the mark. or cain kept the mark. but amara got free in, and was, as far as i remember, only a threat to, the prime universe.

and how did dean get the letter for john from henry? even if henry gave it to dean in As Time Goes By, i doubt dean carried that particular letter on his person when he died. it could be a heaven thing? anything you want, you just wish for it and you have it kind of thing. but also how did dean get bobby? obviously he went back to the roadhouse at some point? unless the point is that heaven is still an illusion since Somethings Up With Jack, and dean did the same thing with the letter, and just *wished* for bobby who popped up in the car. cause that certainly doesn't seem like a good and equal heaven, if you can just wish someone was with you and poof! they will be summoned to your side without their consent. which would mean that's Not Bobby, it's an illusion. it was never actually bobby.

so did dean even actually make it to another universe? or is he trapped in an illusion and the whole thing was a distraction, which is why jack said no meddling and then proceeded to let dean meddle in the most timeline-destabilizing ways possible, giving his parents the colt and his journal, telling them god exists and is a dick? because it doesn't matter, it never mattered because none of it was real?

im gonna rip out my hair what is this. jensen. JENSEN. what is this. i need to think.

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

so wait. i have questions.

if heaven connects the multiverse, what happens when multiple versions of the same person in multiple AU worlds die? do they all fuse into one entity in heaven? like, is the dean we saw in spnwin an amalgamation of every version of dean that has died and gone to heaven in every universe? what does that mean for a human soul, is each iteration of a human only a fragment of a soul? a clone? or are they individuals? do they all have separate heavens next to one another but fully inaccessible? or can you go next door and hang out with your alternate universe selves? that would be pretty disconcerting..

WAIT NO. no, that cant be right. as cool as i think it is, its not right. obviously there are multiple iterations of heaven, considering that there are multiple iterations of the angels. and it's clearly a Thing that alternate universe heavens aren't supposed to be connected, bc the AU iterations of the angels couldn't just walk through some already-established rift in heaven, otherwise the entire apocalypse world plotline would be completely moot. like, apocalypse michael could have just walked into prime universe through the rift. so how are these situated? is heaven like, partitioned out like this?

(please excuse the utterly shit quality, im drawing with my finger on a cracked phone and im bad at it)

so we have the garden which connects all the heavens, and then heaven prime partitioned off from heaven alpha, beta etc, each one then linked to their respective actual living universe? or is it more like garden -> heaven -> earth, but like sheets of paper all stacked up on top of one another in "the world between worlds" voidspace? how does that work metaphysically.

since theres au heavens and au hells, are there au versions of purgatory, or do all worlds dump all their monsters into the same purgatory? what about the empty? is every version of Cas that died in every alternate universe just piled up in the one singular empty?

(if i was a fic writer, this is where i would write about an empty rescue where dean has to wade through a sea of AU cas. i would also write a self indulgent fic where the benny we are told died in prime universe was not actually benny prime. but i am not a fic writer.)

if there are multiple empties, are there multiple shadows? or just the one, existing in every dimension in the same way that chuck is implied to? did god decide to be chuck in every universe, or are there universes where chuck was "just" a prophet? that would make endverse being a real alternate universe clash a little less w the final seasons.

except there's still the problem of, how could zachariah the middle management sub-choir angel (principality?? seraph?? power?? what choir is zachariah. this is so off topic.) open a portal to an alternate universe but not either of the two most powerful archangels? ive seen great theories about angels being specialists in different areas, e.g uriel smiting towns and cas taking memories (im so fucking sorry i dont remember who posted that, its so good im so sorry) but even so, why didn't apocalypse zachy just open the prime universe for apocalypse michael once he set his sights on it? so im still thinking endverse was a pocket/illusion dimension.

and when prime universe tfw released the darkness, did amara get born in every universe or just the prime one? was she still locked in the mark in other universes? if she's the same.. uhh.. species as god, and his equal, shouldnt she be just as omnipresent in the multiverse? or does that mean each universe has its own iteration of god? or would that mean he created himself? ow. paradox migraine. if prime chuck created every other chuck, then every other iteration is just a facsimile and not truly chuck. and if that's true, did they even really beat chuck by beating him in only one iteration? or can AU chuck just open a portal and idk re-grant himself godpowers? what about AU jacks, are they still nephilim? or did every version of jack become god when prime jack did?

on that note, when chuck started to destroy the multiverse, what happened to amara in those iterations and also in general? was she captive in every universe as long as she was captive in the prime universe? is she even really gods sister, or did he create her for Plot Reasons? bc in other universes, dean still had the mark. or cas had the mark. or cain kept the mark. but amara got free in, and was, as far as i remember, only a threat to, the prime universe.

and how did dean get the letter for john from henry? even if henry gave it to dean in As Time Goes By, i doubt dean carried that particular letter on his person when he died. it could be a heaven thing? anything you want, you just wish for it and you have it kind of thing. but also how did dean get bobby? obviously he went back to the roadhouse at some point? unless the point is that heaven is still an illusion since Somethings Up With Jack, and dean did the same thing with the letter, and just *wished* for bobby who popped up in the car. cause that certainly doesn't seem like a good and equal heaven, if you can just wish someone was with you and poof! they will be summoned to your side without their consent. which would mean that's Not Bobby, it's an illusion. it was never actually bobby.

so did dean even actually make it to another universe? or is he trapped in an illusion and the whole thing was a distraction, which is why jack said no meddling and then proceeded to let dean meddle in the most timeline-destabilizing ways possible, giving his parents the colt and his journal, telling them god exists and is a dick? because it doesn't matter, it never mattered because none of it was real?

im gonna rip out my hair what is this. jensen. JENSEN. what is this. i need to think.

[flyingfish1]

They, they unfridged Mary. They preemptively unfridged her. This Mary. They had her be the heroine of her own show and they gave her the freedom to tell her own story and they gave her the tools she needs – the Colt and the right information – to protect herself, and they gave her an entire AU to explore and to live out her life in, and they didn’t tether her to any preexisting narrative to which she is only the backstory, and. And. She can do what she wants. She doesn’t have to die in the nursery in eleven years. They gave her the keys to escape the narrative. She’s free.

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

meant to post this like 2 days ago and got shy lmao. but yoooo i predicted some of this in january in the meta post i left in my drafts bc i didn't want to be yelled at by pre(se)quel haters again. im in shock im never right. look!!

I CALLED THEM A FAILSAFE. what the fuck is this feeling!! is this how yall usually feel with all your meta and speculation posts??? what an experience im gonna puke

and while i was wrong about who said it to him, i also guessed about the one last hunt exchange. i was hoping it was jack tbh and there was some jackgod-in-the-present vs chuckgod-in-the-past shenanigans going on that made it make sense why jack didn't just unmake the akrida. obviously jack didn't put dean up to this like i hoped, he didn't even know dean was gone (lmao demipotence) but i DO think that there is some chuck v jack stuff still going on, in a way. but instead of being past-chuck vs present-jack, it's all just taking place inside of jack, like @angelsdean said. or at least i really hope so bc gods what an amazing story that makes. jack is still in there!! fighting to regain control—from chuck hisself or just the corruption of godpowers—but jack can count his age on one hand and chuck has been around since before time existed, and so has his power. theyre playing the same game but if it's chuck, chuck has infinitely much more experience and he's more than willing to fight dirty in any way possible. if it's his power, that's pure godpower, it's like.. it makes me think of a super concentrated corrosive agent. or the ultimate infection/virus. all the experience and good will in the world doesn't matter, you can neither reason with nor force willful submission from a virus. maybe amara is even trying to shield or help jack? but she's idk weakened bc chuck has been draining her since they merged? so it's only allowing jack to survive long enough for his dads to come to his rescue and/or prevent chuck from snapping the universe apart, not gain the upper hand. idk this kind of thing is not my strong suit. but cmp really should hire victoria angelsdean immediately.

anyway, i can't wait to read her fic about it and i cant wait to see what those deranged ackleses do next.

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

I HAVE. A self indulgent AU that I'm not sure I've ever discussed here but I'm too lazy to check. It's about endverse Cas travelling in time back to season one to stop the apocalypse, which has been done and done very well, but the twist is. Endverse Claire.

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

There's a day some time after the end of the world begins in earnest but just before the last of his hope abandons him entirely, when he's staring down the path of inevitable ruination, already well past the last off-ramp, when he's not even angel enough to fly or heal anymore, but he has just enough grace left to hear an abandoned child's desperate prayer for salvation. It's not the first time she's prayed to him, asking for things he has neither the time nor the ability to give her, like her father and her mother back, but he's less than sober and finally confronting his thorough and absolute failure in everything he ever set out to achieve, and suddenly this is one broken promise too many. So he takes a jeep and sets off without a word to anyone, headed for illinois where the croatoan infection has started to spread in earnest, and the state has drawn its neat little lines between safe areas and ever expanding quarantine zones behind whose borders any survivors are left to fend for themselves. Pontiac is in the middle of one of those.

Despite his expectations, the moments where he thinks he's taking a woefully premature suicide run and abandoing his charge to die a failure over a promise he made to a dead man, he gets there in time, and makes it back to rendezvous with Dean again weeks later, bedraggled, more sober than he's been in a while, and with a resentful, traumatized preteen in tow.

To say Dean does not approve would be an understatement.

At least Castiel does, a little begrudgingly, agree that Claire shouldn't stay with them. This might be before they settle at Camp Chitiqua, or it might be early days, but either way, their little survivor's militia is no place for a child. So efforts are made to find a safe place for Claire to go.

They fail.

Okay, to be fair, they fail twice. And this should be the type of thing you try try again on (Dean certainly thinks so) but by the time the second child appropriate and supposedly safe option falls to the ever-spreading catastrophe of the apocalypse Cas is 1. Attached an B) Fucking Terrified.

He's less of an angel every day. If he lets Claire out of his sight, the next time she needs him, he might not hear her prayers.

Still, he'd put that aside if confronted with a better option for her. He wouldn't be equipped to be a parent even if he wasn't wearing her dead father's face. He barely understands how to take care of his own increasingly fallible and needy body, and human children are both needier and more fragile than their adult counterparts.

He just stops looking as hard, that's all.

The bigger problem, it turns out, is that Claire has gotten attached too. Not that you would know it on your average day. She doesn't like Cas. She can't feel anything but anger and grief when she looks at him, and she makes no secret that she resents him.

But.

But she's been abandoned by both her parents and she's desperate not to be left behind again. But he came for her when she called and there's no one else left. But he's the only connection she has to her dad even if he's an awful one who hurts to look at.

Not that she can express or even really understand that ball of hurt and fear and longing in her chest. No, what she does do is get into screaming matches with Castiel whenever one of those better options comes along, because they do come along, and accuse him of trying to get rid of her when he tries to offer her an out.

He folds like a wet paper towel every single time.

So they're stuck with each other (and Dean is stuck with both of them) learning to care about each other and never on pain of Death admitting to that fact. Claire because it feels like a betrayal of her father's memory to admit that she's letting his murderer tkae his place in her life, and Cas because after everything he's taken from her, developing any kind of paternal affection for her feels like a violation. It's too depraved even for him.

The thing about having a kid though, even if neither of you can admit that she's your kid, is that it changes your perspective on things. Cas does stuff like care about what's child appropriate now. He even relegates indulging in group sex and any drugs harder than marijuana to be indulged in only outside of his cabin, where Claire lives and sleeps. It's called "setting an example" and no one ever shuts up about it.

But he also does things like worry about Claire's future, and here's the thing: She doesn't have one.

Even if they kill Lucifer, the world's over. If humanity can recover from this at all, it'll be the long hard work of decades and centuries of fallout and continued suffering. There is no better world waiting for Claire at the end of this, he's already failed her.

Unless they can go back. Unless they can make it so it never happens.

At first it's a pipe dream, something to keep him occupied in his spare time and let him petend there's still a sliver of hope left in the world.

He may not have his wings anymore, but he's still an angel, he understands how the universe works, how time twists and bends, how it can be bent. figuring out how to do it with sigils and spellcraft is, at the very least, a fun thought exercise. Like doing calculus in his head when he's bored. Math and magic are basically the same thing anyway. Building blocks.

It'll still never work, not without a sufficient power source.

Except then, Dean shows up fresh from 2009, and he's got a window.

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

The run against Lucifer is the key to the whole thing. See, an archangel's death releases a shockwave out into the universe, and if you're near enough to collect some of that energy? It'll fuel a spell like theirs and then some. And rigging up a sigil that'll collect that energy and transfer it back to the main spell circle? Easy. Bt to do that, someone has to get close enough to where the explosion is going to be to lay the power chords. Cas explains this to Claire carefully several times, because she keeps saying things like "fucking suicide mission" and "if you think I'm gonna sit here and wait while you get yourself killed for that asshole you've got another thing coming." But when it comes down to it, someone has to lay the sigil, and someone has to be in the circle, in case something happens to him before he can tie himself into the spell.But

He's lying, of course.

It would work, in theory, if he thought that they were actually going to manage to kill Lucifer. He'll still lay the sigil, on the off chance he's wrong and they actually pull this off. The spell will be able to take her further like that, maybe far enough that Claire can live a full life without ever having to worry about the apocalypse.

But there's a much easier way, and it comes down to the fact that the angels are going to come to collect their michael sword eventually, and when they do? It's the easiest thing in the world to hitch a ride. Of course that limits them to traveling back to around the point of origin, maybe push it back, oh, the amount of time of the initial jump again? Twice that if the rebound works out in their favour. That's a good decade, at least. Not a lot, but a decade more than Claire has had. Maybe enough time to stop an apocalypse, she's clever, resourceful. At the very least, she can save herself. Warn her family, make a life where Castiel never took them away from her.

Castiel won't be coming with her, though. She's right about it being a suicide run. One he doesn't actually have to take to do this for her. Past Dean is pliable in a way he stopped being a long time ago, and way too willing to let some stoned weirdo take his shirt off and draw magic spells on his back with sharpie. He's also adorably flustered about it. And ticklish. It's endlessly amusing.

So the spell is already set, Claire's future is secured, as much of one as he can get for her anyway, and he doesn't have to go, but. Well.

This is always how it was going to end. Dean needs him, and Cas, well, he's known how he was going to die for a while now, it was just a matter of time.

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Claire almost leaves the circle.

When it's been hours, and she knows no one's coming back, because she's not an idiot, and she knows that Castiel left her here so he could go die for his boyfriend. The spell might go off, or it might not, either way, he left her hee alone.

She just wants peopleto stop fucking leaving, is that so much to ask?

So she almost leaves the circle, because she's bored and her ass hurts from sitting on the ground for so long and this stupid plan isn't going to work, so why bother?

And when it starts to light up- she almost leaves it anyway, she gets this sudden urge to just lunge out of it, because fuck, it worked, but Castiel might not be dead yet and he's sending her away but what if she can still get to him and why the fuck did she let him talk her into sitting here for so long when she knows he's out there dying-

But then the lights are so blinding she has to cover her eyes, and the floor just isn't anymore and she's too damn late-

She wakes up in the middle of a road, in the middle of the night, feeling like she's nursing the worst hangover of her entire life.

(There haven't been many, because Castiel is a huge hypocrite who raided a library for books on child development once and now he says shit about 'developing brains', but he also distills his own alcohol sometimes and didn't figure out he should hide it from her til it was too late, so the ones she has had have been Legendarily Bad. Castiel can say whatever he wants about being "essentially human" now, no one should trust a damn word of it, no one who can drink that stuff and come out the other side of it fine is human and that's a fact.)

She spends the first few minutes after being maybe hurled back in time, maybe teleported somewhere and passing out for a few hours because the dumbass spell fucked her up, curled up an groaning, trying not to throw up. When she gets half her wits back and the dizzy spells fade, she rolls onto her back and looks at the stars above her, and the first thing she does, before she even stands up and looks around, is call out:

"Cas?"

It's so fucking embarrassing, she almost hopes hedid stay behind just so she won't have to deal with him hearing her cry for him like a little kid.

"Cas? Are you here?"

There's no answer.

"Cas you better fucking be here with me. Cause if you're not-" Her throat closes up. "If you're not I swear to fuck I will find a way to get you for this. I'll kick your ass. I'll kick past you's ass and force him to take me to the future so I can kick your ass and fucking- fucking kill you again."

She's not going to cry, she's not.

"Cas, you son of a bitch-"

There's a groan, from somewhere to her left. carefully, she turns her head.

There's nothing.

Then- Cas, pulling himself half up out of the ditch on the other side of the road, probably all full of brambles and dirty water. He rests his head on his arms, giving up as soon as enough of his torso is on solid ground to keep him from sliding back down. He grunts, half rolling over so he can look vaguely in her direction.

"Do you think you could keep it down?" He croaks.

"You son of a bitch." She says again, relieved.

He waves one arm lazily at her, what she can see of his skin is covered not in mud, but in familiar sharp, squiggly sigils.

"Almost didn't get it done in time." He says.

Claire pushes herself up and has to tense all her muscles to fight off the awful dizzy spell that hits her, trying not to think about what would have happened if he'd failed, or if she'd stepped out of the circle like she'd wanted to a dozen times.

It's fine, they're both here. It worked out, don't think about it.

Where is here, anyway?

"Did it work? How do we find out?" She asks, scooting over to him, and out of the passage of potential cars that might actually try to use it if they made it back to the past after all. She doesn't trust her shaky legs to carry her but she's not gonna sacrifice any more of her dignity by crawling.

"It worked. I can tell. Age of the universe is slightly less, not as much entropy as a second ago, air tastes different." he mumbles. "Also, nothing but time travel feels quite this bad."

"Yeah." She agrees wholeheartedly. "Hey, how come you wrote your spell right on your skin? You didn't do that for me."

That wakes him up. "Oh, there's actually- there's a very good reason for that."

"Okay. What is it."

"Claire, please, I've just been put through a blender the size of the universe." He closes his eyes, scrunching up his face. "Give me a minute to come up with a good lie."

"You are such an asshole." She laughs, relieved, because they actually did it, they made it here. Both of them. He had her sitting on the ground for hours in that stupid circle to keep her out of trouble, but he came with her.

They fucking did it.

"So, what do we do now?"

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

oh my god castiel died and then jack left and then dean died and then there was just sam. in the big lonely empty of the world there was just sam.

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

@faillen i have literally not stopped thinking about this

[faillen]

Ohhhhh buddy trust me neither have I—

I’m haunted by the image of Cas stumbling into the bunker from the Empty, half stunned he’s alive, half stunned that his welcoming party is just Sam, who looks like he hasn’t slept in months, greasy-haired and wild-eyes with blood dripping from his wrists onto the floor cause he needed arterial blood for the spell, and it’s all over Cas now cause he literally dragged him through the portal. Sam goes “Oh thank god,” and then literally collapses into a heap and Cas is like ?????? ???????????

[queermania]

I can't tell if you think Dean was right during the soulless!Jack arc or not

i don't think he was right or wrong. i don't think sam was right or wrong. i don't think cas was right or wrong. i don't think jack was right or wrong. i think they were characters whose actions (and emotions) didn't happen in a vacuum (or in a real world setting).

my point wasn't that dean has never done anything wrong in his life and jack deserved to die. it was that the situation is not as simple as jack doing an oopsie daisy and dean deciding to murder him over it. framing it that way removes so much context and does a disservice to all of the characters and their interpersonal relationships, and frankly, it's also just boring.

[angelsdean]

another thing i think should happen in the prequel when they meet dean is, maybe dean doesn't tell them right away who he is. maybe he just lets them think he's a hunter who knows abt the akrida and can help. maybe he even tells them he IS from the future but doesn't get into specifics. so he starts planning and scheming with them, takes on the leader role bc he's technically the oldest one there. and maybe dean starts delegating roles and suggesting a plan of action and john does Not like that. john gets stubborn. john butts heads with dean, criticizes his plans, mouths off and pushes back bc he doesn't like being told what to do by this stranger. and dean tries to stay civil and keep his head but god, it all hits too close to home. and then it all comes to a head, john's anger boils over and he takes a swing at dean, and dean's a trained fighter so he dodges it easily, but he still flinches a little, and john tries again and this time dean catches his arm, mid-swing and holds it there. and the both look each other in the eyes and it's the first time john's really looking and dean, and dean's eyes have gone a bit vulnerable, because yeah he's over forty and his dad is just a kid, but god he can't help feeling like a kid himself at the other end of john's fist. and they look at each other and john sees something in dean's eyes, and there's a flicker of recognition. and then dean just rasps, eyes a little wet now, "dad, stop," and john crumbles and dean drops his arm and this all happens so quick so the others in the room are still reeling from it all and mary just comes over to them like "what happened??" and john can't look at dean anymore and dean sniffs and wipes a few stray tears before giving mary a watery smile and says, "i, uh, i guess i should properly introduce myself. my real name is dean. dean winchester. and i'm your son."

[angelsdean]

i am back to thinking the "not of this earth" comment re: dean is bc he's literally come from heaven / he hasn't been born yet in this time but. imagine this really is the huntercorp universe origin story. the scooby gang expands to become huntercorp. huntercorp dean gets to be out and gay bc john got to be besties w/ carlos and swerved his homophobia lmao

[angelsdean]

ppl who watched s1 while it was airing with the framework of sam being the main character………..i would like 2 study you bc i do not understand 

[cassierobinsons]

it's not that dean being repressed is like inherently bad or ooc or w/e it's that the way people in fandom talk about it has officially poisoned the well for me <3

[cassierobinsons]

LITERALLY. so many people think of dean being in the closet as something that makes him pathetic and worthy of moral judgement.

[queermania]

I think you should get into the Jackles and Chaos Machine of it all (this is a sincere request)

so the thing is that jensen has said/done some genuinely hurtful things in the past and i don't begrudge anyone who has felt or continues to feel hurt by that. that's perfectly valid. BUT the narrative that he is this insidious homophobe who is not-so-secretly disgusted by gay people is not only deeply annoying, but actively harmful.

this is a man who has taken very obvious steps to grow and become a better ally. is he always the most eloquent with his words? no, he is not. but to me actions speak way louder than words and what we know about his actions are that he 1. is lovely and open and accepting to queer fans who tell them how much dean and destiel mean to them. 2. is vocally supportive of the queer community and queer causes and most importantly 3. created an entire production company with a mission statement to uplift diverse stories and creators and is actually doing that.

the winchesters has two (probably straight) white characters that are what they are by virtue of their origin and there's nothing we can do about that but almost every other character has been a person of color with interiority and nuance and a backstory and a life outside of john and mary. like, there are two interracial romantic pairings already and neither of them include a white person and we're only on episode six.

and we have queer characters!!! queer characters who are not reduced to their sexuality or shoehorned in for the sake of diversity while meaning absolutely nothing to the plot/story!!! they matter. and we've got quotes from the creative team about how even if the language wasn't there at the time, those people existed and their stories deserve to be told!!! like. y'all can make all the jokes you want about homophobic texas christian boy jensen ackles who hasn't said dean wants to shove his tongue in cas' mouth so he must hate gay people.... but the man is out here hiring queer creatives and uplifting their voices and getting their pronouns right and being fucking normal about it unlike y'all who somehow manage to have the most insanely biphobic and acephobic takes while supposedly defending queer people and that means so much more to me than his opinion on a ship that he has zero control over.

like. if you can't get over the hurtful things he's said in the past, that's fine. there's no judgement from me on that front. but please don't pretend like they are indicative of what he is currently doing and please don't pretend like you actually care about the problems that supernatural had if you're out here disparaging the winchesters every time you even look in the spn-universe's direction without ever having watched the show (especially if you're saying you refuse to watch the winchesters because spn was racist/homophobic/whatever.... but are still watching spn?? like?? WHAT?). the show that jensen put his creative heart and soul into is actively working to fix the things you supposedly hated about spn and your hottest take is that it still sucks because jensen doesn't have a perfect track record? wow, cool. i hope the view is nice from up there on your high horse where you can't even see the people you're claiming to stand up for.

[queermania]

#ive thought about this a lot lately too and its funny seeing this come up on my dash#having been in the fandom in 2012-2015 seeing how he acted vs now#like. i never would have dreamed i would see the spn universe turning into a show like the winchesters#and knowing he and his wife were the driving force behind that#it means. so fucking much. i read an article of an interview he did or smth before i watched jt#and it fr made me cry like. knowing people in the staff did care abt the issues but didnt have power#to change it… but now they do… now HE does and he really is doing smth good w it#the absolute fucking black and white between spn and spnwin is. Incredible. absolutely#i for sure have issues w shit he said back then but ten years is a lot of time to grow (via @sparrowmoss )

yes!! TEN YEARS IS A LOT OF TIME TO GROW!!! and he's even said, with his full chest, that he regrets the way he's handled certain things in the past and that he would not answer questions the same way now that he did back then. he is aware that the hurtful things he said were hurtful and that they weren't okay and he's actively trying to do/be better. how is that not the end goal with anyone who has made missteps in their life?

[angelsdean]

pick one of my “controversial” opinions

i think cockles is funny and entertaining

sam is a side character to me

dean is blonde.

i do not care abt lisa

John IS homophobic and abusive but in a nuanced way, not just a caricature

genuinely enjoy the prequel. it’s entertaining. i love mediocre cw shows

hybrid Cas endgame / i contain multitudes (goes for most of my headcanons)

LOVE meg and her friendship w cas but do not care for megstiel as a ship

Guilty of big destiel crimes sorry :/ i just love their love most of all

Dean has done nothing wrong and anything he did do wrong is fine bc I said so<3

Voting ended onFeb 8, 2023