Robbyn Gowrie

[pm] Of course I still want to play air-hockey.

And please, please, stop answering them. It’s useless. And that cow just indirectly called me a soulless killer without remorse. I usually make a point of avoiding fights, but she’s really testing my patience.

[pm] We should get ice cream too.

I will stop answering them, as of this moment.

[pm] Thank you, I appreciate it. Especially considering I could have just stopped reading all of that. Watch a movie or something. It's just... Well, it's hard to ignore discussions like those.

Ice cream sounds like a good plan.

robbyn-gowrie replied to your post: [pm] This is really not my business, but don’t you…

[pm] Why can’t people understand the world’s not just black and white, villain or hero? I hate this. Well, it’s nice you care about her reputation. I can still beat you at air-hockey. You just won’t be able to hide your disappointment.

[pm] Again, this is why I like you. It’s not black and white, but that’s the easiest way to view it, so that’s what happens, I suppose.

I’m glad you still want to play air-hockey.

[pm] Of course I still want to play air-hockey.

And please, please, stop answering them. It's useless. And that cow just indirectly called me a soulless killer without remorse. I usually make a point of avoiding fights, but she's really testing my patience.

[pm] See, you’re doing the thing again where you go all “more wise than your years” on me. I want to respond with the same degree of detail and care, but I can’t.

Props to you for that.

And thanks for waiting until the spell thing gets all figured out, that means a lot.

I’m here for you too, I promise.

#pm #Clare #ooc: Robbyn still feels a little disappointed but she doesn't want to judge Clare before knowing her side of the story #and she got over the Ross thing because she's actually starting to understand that vampires aren't exactly little puppies #so she doesn't have any reason to be mad at Clare #and since she cares for her she wants to be on her side especially now that Clare sounds so lonely #so yep Clobbyn is safe #but Robbyn is still worried they might end up on opposite teams during this battle #that's why she wants to go to the arcade #she wants to forget about what happened with the Scythe and enjoy things while she still can

[pm] It's not hard, really. You just talk and talk and talk some more until you've almost forgotten the point you were trying to make. And, just when people have forgotten what you've been talking about BAM! You hit them with whatever you were trying to say, and they'll usually agree with you because they forgot the rest of your speech but it sounded deep and meaningful.

I'm glad, you feel that way. It means a lot. But enough with this serious talk, okay? Everyone's already freaking out about whatever's going to happen soon, and I don't want to be all gloomy and worried any more than necessary.

I'll take you to the arcade as soon as the spell wears off. I seem to remember promising you something like that, but I never got the chance. That way we'll be able to have a serious conversation about important stuff without it feeling like an end-of-the-world kind of thing, because I'll be kicking your ass at air hockey while we discuss whatever serious business you'll be willing to discuss.

[pm] You should write speeches, you know?

I’m glad that you had faith in me. Maybe still do? I try to be accepting of all I can. My parents try to be that way, but they only are when it come to demons. They’re actually pretty racist when it comes to humans. Especially my mother. Ironic, huh?

I had you to gain back. You’re my friend and thanks for saying other people are wrong. That means the world to me. And you know I’m not lying about that.

I suppose I do believe that some of what I am doing is right, of my own accord. I know, deep down that not everyone’s against me, but it does feel that way sometimes. It’s good to know that you’re at least sort of here for me.

[pm] What can I say? It's a gift.

You're different from your mother, then. You're like Teeth: it's a club where everyone's welcome, but some people just don't get it, and they only judge it because we serve demons too. But in the end Teeth's not a bad place at all, it's just like any other club, a mean to earn some money. And really, when you think about it we also went out of our way to make it a safe haven for everyone. Teeth is actually more harmless than the vast majority of those normal only-human clubs.

You're the same: you just want to live your life the way you want to, but you don't hurt anyone as long as they leave you alone. And if people actually try to get to know you you'll even protect them, like you did with me.

We'll talk about what you're doing when you're not under the influence of some spell. Like I said, I don't want you to talk to me because something forces you to do so. And who knows, maybe you're even right.

Just know that I'm not just sort of here for you. I'm here for you, no sort ofs there.

[pm] Kennedy made I wish that I was unable to lie.

That’s very nice of you. Thank you for that, because if I were in your place I think that this is one of those things I might take advantage of, but maybe not.

It’s what everyone expects of me, and so I decided to do what I’m good at and live up to expectations, and if those are that I’m like the evil queen in the silly fairy tales mother never let me read, then so be it. I guess.

[pm] That must be the dumbest thing you ever said. And I'm including those weird guh-guh gah-gah sounds you probably made as a child.

Live up to expectations? Please. I never expected you to steal and be evil or nothing of the sort. I've always trusted you. You're reserved, but that doesn't make you evil. You mingle with people not everyone accept, but there's nothing wrong with that, it just means you don't judge people based on their species. That's actually pretty good.

You're smart, you're classy and you can be loyal. I mean, you came there and saved my life, lost a lot of money too, and you didn't have anything to gain from that, did you? That's not how a bad person would have acted, and if people think differently... Well, they're wrong.

You're not evil or bad, okay? If you want to keep doing whatever it is you're doing because it's something you believe that's fine. But don't do it just because you think people here don't get you, because not everyone's against you.

[pm] Normally I’d think killing him was a bit extreme, but… Well, he had it coming. I just wish it didn’t have to be you. Putting him down wasn’t your job. You shouldn’t have to go through that as well.

[pm] Even though the guy pretty much deserved it, I still don’t feel… okay about it, you know? Like, I killed someone. Someone that had a life, and I took that away. I’m trying not to think about it too much. Putting him down isn’t your job, either. It’s not anyone’s job. It’s not a job, it’s just a choice. I’ve killed people before, people that didn’t deserve it, but never as an actual human being before. I hate it.

[pm] I know what you mean. I killed before too. Vampires, and demons. I know some people don't think they're actual people, but to me they are and killing them always feels... Wrong. But when it's a matter of survival it's hard to think clearly.

I know it won't make you feel any better, but it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself, the guy forced you to do what you did. And I guess you saved some lives as well. You should focus on that. It's what I do. The killing part gets easier to accept (well, you never accept it, you just learn to live with it) when you think about the fact that it also did some good. At least it's like that for me.

[pm] He was nice most of the time.

Kennedy made a wish I couldn’t lie, so I guess you have free reign to ask what you please?

You’ve been distant too, and I’ve missed you. You’re one of the only people here I consider a friend and I don’t want to lose you.

[pm] She did what? I really have to stop asking that.

I'm not going to take advantage of that wish, though. You said you consider me a friend, and I consider you a friend, so that makes us friends. And friends shouldn't take advantage of truth spells to get information out of each other. If you want to tell me what's going on I'll listen and I'll try to be as open about it as I can. If you don't want to tell me anything I'm not going to ask you. Forcing the truth out of you would be wrong and immoral and... I just can't do that to you.

I've been distant because I don't know what to think. So much has happened lately, and I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Then you act weird, and I just can't figure out the best way to bring it up, so I kept my distance.

[pm] Yes, that Ross.

I will have you know that he and I were sleeping together and when I tried to break it off he threatened to kill and rape me. What was I supposed to do?

#pm #Clare #ooc: another crack in the 'vampires are nice' wall Robbyn put up #even Ross was evil #she's feeling sad and lost because all the nice vampires she knew are actually evil #and she doesn't want to admit she was wrong and Ms. Fairfax and Kennedy were right #but she's starting to believe that #poor baby

[pm] He did what? Really? I'm sorry. I... I didn't know. Didn't give you a lot of choice on the matter, I guess. It's just... It's hard to believe. The Ross I knew wouldn't do something like that. He was a nice man. He...

Listen. I'm willing to believe you. You never gave me any reason to doubt your word, after all, and you saved my life and I consider you my friend. But... But I don't understand you lately. You've been distant, and caught up in your little schemes, and the Scythe thing and everything else... I just don't understand. I want to understand though, I really do.

[pm] That’s nice. That you’re taking this so well (as well as you can take something like this, at least), and that he’s dead. At least he can’t harm anyone else now.

[pm] Other events have forced me to realize that you can’t dwell on things like this. You gotta jump over that bridge as fast as possible. And, yeah. He told me that after me he was still going to experiment on people. No one deserves anything like that, so I killed him.

#pm #Lydia #ooc: omg this gave me so many Robbyn feels because she almost added 'it was my job'

[pm] Normally I'd think killing him was a bit extreme, but... Well, he had it coming. I just wish it didn't have to be you. Putting him down wasn't your job. You shouldn't have to go through that as well.

robbyn-gowrie replied to your post: Do you wish you’d never staked Ross?

[pm] You did WHAT?

[pm] I, um, staked him?

#pm #Clare #ooc: she's stretching the truth a bit about them mourning him #but whatever she's shocked and pissed

[pm] You... Staked him? We're talking about the same Ross, right? Mr. Wallace, the guy you opened a bloody club with, right? The one who hired me and... Well, that Ross?

This isn't happening. Seriously Clare, first you go your own way and steal the Scythe, and now this? I was willing to let the Scythe thing go... I figured you had your reasons, you know? But Ross... We mourned him together!

[pm] You’re truly something, you know that? I don’t think there are that many people that could say something like that as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Some people are just crazy. If you need some good old-fashioned violence to settle the score you know who to call. I’m usually against this kind of thing, but torturing and testing a human being is just… It’s too much.

[pm] So I’ve been told. I’ve seen worse, it could have been much worse. I’m lucky that I only got what I got. Even though what I got was pretty bad, I’m glad it wasn’t anything worse than that. I think John Kramer has rubbed off on me.

Thanks, but it wouldn’t be useful… the guy’s dead now.

#pm #Lydia #ooc: that last part made her slightly uncomfortable #because she's all 'wait did I just say that I'm glad someone died?'#but she still thinks it even though it makes her feel bad #because she doesn't think she has the right to choose who should live and who should die

[pm] That's nice. That you're taking this so well (as well as you can take something like this, at least), and that he's dead. At least he can't harm anyone else now.

[pm] Well, I wasn’t dead.

But yeah, I get what you’re saying. Not by experience, of course, but being on the other side of the fence isn’t the greatest thing ever. I’m glad you didn’t give up on me. I mean, yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks.

It was the total opposite of pretty. Nah, not really. It’s over, it won’t happen again, there’s nothing difficult to talk about. For me, at least. I haven’t told anyone the full story, yet. Alcher wanted more details but I held back. There’s not much to say besides the fact that I was tortured and tested on for about a month.

You got it.

[pm] You're truly something, you know that? I don't think there are that many people that could say something like that as if it wasn't a big deal.

Some people are just crazy. If you need some good old-fashioned violence to settle the score you know who to call. I'm usually against this kind of thing, but torturing and testing a human being is just... It's too much.

[pm] Well, maybe it wasn’t my fault, but it’s not thanks to me you’re back. I tried, you know? Asked my Watcher to find a buyers’ list, I went on patrols on a daily basis looking for you, asked around at Teeth, and I even talked with Slayers’ big boss to help me with a plan I had to help you.

I should have done something more. I don’t know what, but… Well, whatever. The important thing is you’re fine. You are fine, right? Have you talked with Alcher and Dawn yet? They were really worried about you.

[pm] Wow, you did try. All that really matters now is that I’m back. I do appreciate that, though. Really.

I’ll be fine. Yeah, I talked to both of them.

[pm] Of course I tried! We were in that cage together, and then I got rescued and you didn't. I had to save you. You know that thing that always happens in the movies? The surviving character feeling guilty because all their friends are dead? Well, that's a real thing, let me tell you. it really happens. And if that wasn't reason enough, I'm a Slayer, saving people it's what we do. Well, what we try to do, apparently.

Anyways, I don't think you want to hear all of this. I'm sure it wasn't pretty, and it must be hard for you to talk about it, so I'm just going to stop. Unless you do want to talk about it, in that case I'm more than willing to listen.

I'm glad you talked to them. If there's anything I can do, anything at all, just ask, okay?

robbyn-gowrie replied to your post: No more hospital food, thank goodness. Finally…

[pm] I’m glad to hear that. I… I didn’t want to bother you before, I figured you needed time to… Well, to get better, I guess? Anyways, I just want you to know I’m happy you’re back. And I’m sorry.

[pm] Oh, thanks. Yeah, I get it. Why are you sorry? That wasn’t your fault.

[pm] Well, maybe it wasn't my fault, but it's not thanks to me you're back. I tried, you know? Asked my Watcher to find a buyers' list, I went on patrols on a daily basis looking for you, asked around at Teeth, and I even talked with Slayers' big boss to help me with a plan I had to help you.

I should have done something more. I don't know what, but... Well, whatever. The important thing is you're fine. You are fine, right? Have you talked with Alcher and Dawn yet? They were really worried about you.