No Rhyme or Reason, Just Crap

20|Queer|She/Her|Aussie I don't have a queue or a theme or any life goals

[bi-any-chance]

Bi culture TikTok

[queersforpluto]

[popsunner]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[popsunner]

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

[popsunner]

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

[popsunner]

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

[popsunner]

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

[popsunner]

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

[bendgineer]

please discuss ☕

[theangryblueone]

The dude on the left literally got contact with snakes original voice actor and this is he end product

[eliastheflyest]

YES

[ezurad]

[jace-the-ace12-deactivated20221]

I’m fucking cackling guys

[valtsv]

look i don’t know how reliable a source of information this website is but the idea that you can easily get rid of vampires in your home just by telling them they’re not welcome anymore is extremely funny to me

[valtsv]

if a vampire came into my house and tried to drain my blood. well i would simply say no thank you.

[valtsv]

unless the vampire is hot of course, in which case feel free to make yourself at home

[decayingmutt-deactivated2019091]

[cumaeansibyl]

I remember asking about this question once and someone told me that in True Blood if you rescind an invitation the vampire is “forcibly removed” from your house (or words to that effect)

and I have to admit I expected something much more violent than this, but somehow that would’ve been less dramatic? like if he was flung backward through the door it would’ve looked pretty cool but the DRAMA here is 10 times as fucking ridiculous

[boopymooplier]

Human: *rescinds their invitation* Vampire: I am forcibly removed from the house

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

if i was the joker id just get a restraining order on batman and superman whataere they gonna do? break the law? then theyre no better than me, a cold blooded murderer. and this would 100% work, because superheroe movies have the shittiest takes on ethics since fucking kant

[fuckyeahthegoodplace]

[the-frog-emoji-is-ugly-as-shit]

[marsapartment]

Friendly reminder: the way that Batman acted after Superman died saving him was more heartbreaking than any straight romance tragedy from the last 10 years.

[bobacupcake]

we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a span of 3 days we went from this tweet:

to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:

and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with “i want this on a tshirt” knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether

i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason

[pinkieperil]

And the next step…

[sometimesboffosometimesnot]

Once again this whole blog has been brought to you by 

SAND!

It’s EVERYWHERE!

Get used to it!

[cvberitual]

[tiktoks-we-like]

[Description start: A young woman is playing the beginning part of the Universal Studios theme song on a huge marimba, and then she throws both of the mallets at a drum placed in front of the marimba. Another woman comes after her, playing the same tune and throws the mallets at the drum again. A man walks up after the last woman has finished and starts singing the ending of the Universal Studios theme off-key before laughing and walking away. End of description.]

[polyglotplatypus]

please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

[negamewtwo]

PLEASE TURN THE SOUND ON

[feralkwe-deactivated20210912]

OH MY GOD

[soyoumusik]

[sweetmeatdale]

He’d say the same if he were a lyre though?

[soyoumusik]

How did you somehow make this post MORE groan worthy?

[rodnt]

[windynebula]

[Cat meows, but it’s been autotuned]

[cinnamonandchlorine-deactivated]

this is my favourite video on the internet

[tiktokarchive]

Handler: You don't need ChapStick, you're a bird!

[bird drops ChapStick]

Bird: AAH-

[jasontoddiefor]

Hot takes why Bruce Wayne should be the Youngest Justice League Founding Member

It’s hilarious

Nobody would suspect it. Batman always comes across as so sure and authoritative - he must be at least 37 or so

Meanwhile, Bruce is actually 23 and just took in a nine-year-old

And Robin in turn just makes people think he’s older because if that’s his kid - well, then he’s got to be old enough to be a dad

You’ve got Diana as the oldest and Bruce as the youngest and they’re both the only ones with any braincells

Every time Batman gets a meme, people assume it’s because of Robin and yeah, that’s partially true, but he’s also a millennial

It’s gets better with every kid he adopts

Diana is probably the first to actually know his age but it doesn’t matter much to her

Clark, however, freaks out.

“You’re 26!”

“Yes. How is that more relevant than the fact that I’m Bruce Wayne and therefore can get intel on the kryotonite smuggling ring?”

“You have a teenage son. You’re younger than me!”

“Only by six years, Clark. Now could we please focus-“

Barry and Hal would straight up not believe it.

Hal’s the last to know. He just walks into the meeting room, Bruce unmasked, and is all “who tf are you? Bruce Wayne? Who is that- what do you mean you’re 27?”

Just give me Tired 23 Year Old Bruce having Old Man Vibes

[stinson-png-deactivated20210103]

This was funnier in my head. 

[words-writ-in-starlight]

If this was funnier in your head I have no idea how you’re still alive because I’m fucking dying.

[karazrel]

robert pattinson singlehandedly destroying every single joker before he’s even put the suit on