Numb, But I Still Feel It

neurospicy Queer with BPD/ PTSD and bipolar type 2|Collector of art prints|sick obsession with Universal Studios|Boy mom tryin to see things in a better light|. These are things I like and think about a lot. Take a seat. Stay Awhile.

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

Me if you care

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robineisenberg]

mood 🤍

[robineisenberg]

full strawberry moon tonight 🍓✨

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

One thing I will never do is hide my vulnerability and struggles to the world. I don’t know how to pretend my life is put together on the internet for others to see like at all because it just has constantly made me feel like I need to compare or hyper fixate on how I can be more like them instead I just want to try to embrace “trying again” I want people to come over and see a actual “lived in” home instead frantically trying to make my home seem spotless to other so I can what? Gain their approve to want to spend time with me? Absolutely not. I will always be honest with what I’m struggling with because it has opened many doors to others reaching out to me or commenting telling me “hey! I struggle with the same things too and I didn’t know anyone else did and now I feel safe to talk to you about it and tell you what has helped me cope with x,y,and z” I’ve always struggled with fitting in and maintaining friendships with other parents a lot things I need to be perfect to blend in. I’m a 33 year old full time parent who struggles to keep employment due to mental illness and burnout, I have major brain fog, I’m so ditsy and absent minded where I just feel like there’s no place or purpose for me. I’m still trying to figure this all out. That being said, I cannot thank my village enough who found me and accepted and loved me for ALL of me even when I think I don’t deserve the love and who really see me for who I am and all my efforts in life. You know who you all are…

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

Please check out my site! I have $78 more dollars to make by next Thursday for my vacation

https://shopbeestees.myshopify.com/

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

It’s never ending. I’m so tired of having to constantly figure myself out and still never having a resolution. I’m losing everyone I love. I’m losing myself. I make everyone feel like they are walking on eggshells in order to have a friendship with me and make people feel like that have to carefully word what they say around me and I truly hate making people feel that way towards me. What’s the point of having friends and family if I make everyone uneasy with me. I deserve to be alone in life. I can’t even express myself correctly without being told I’m just being too sensitive or throwing a pity part when really I just want to be heard but I never say or process things correctly and I’m just so disappointed in myself. I need to isolate. I’m sorry to everyone in life I hurt.

[robotwithhumanhair19]

[dumnslut]

[robotwithhumanhair19]

It’s never ending. I’m so tired of having to constantly figure myself out and still never having a resolution. I’m losing everyone I love. I’m losing myself. I make everyone feel like they are walking on eggshells in order to have a friendship with me and make people feel like that have to carefully word what they say around me and I truly hate making people feel that way towards me. What’s the point of having friends and family if I make everyone uneasy with me. I deserve to be alone in life. I can’t even express myself correctly without being told I’m just being too sensitive or throwing a pity part when really I just want to be heard but I never say or process things correctly and I’m just so disappointed in myself. I need to isolate. I’m sorry to everyone in life I hurt.