summary: bucky may have lost a lot of himself throughout his life — but he hasn’t lost his dance moves.
warnings: major tfatws finale spoilers!
word count: 1.4k
a/n: my first mcu fic, and of course it’s for bucky, the loml. thank u to @feetoffthetablee for helping me brainstorm this ily 🤍 requests are still open!! also, i don’t have an mcu taglist yet but i will be making one! :)
[i do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other platform]
To say the world had changed would be an understatement. Ever since people had returned from the snap, society was crumbling and life was beginning to get complicated. You had been lucky — if lucky was the proper word to use here — because you had been snapped away with Bucky. Meaning, you didn’t have to deal with having to maintain a daily life without him. So, yes, you’d consider yourself lucky.
But now, with humanity struggling to get back on its feet, you had been one of the few who managed to find yourself somewhat at peace.
For the last few weeks, Bucky had been away with Sam. You were following his situation rather closely — new Cap, an abundance of unregistered super soldiers, and something about breaking Zemo out of prison — and you had to admit, despite the hot mess that the situation had panned out to be, you did feel rather proud. Watching Bucky’s progress over the five months since your return as he crossed names off of his list made an unmistakable swell of joy grow in your chest.
In which peter pevensie finally finds the courage he's famously known for
PAIRING: peter pevensie x reader, susan pevensie x PLATONIC!reader, edmund pevensie x PLATONIC!reader, lucy pevensie x PLATONIC!reader
WARNINGS: SET DURING THE GOLDEN AGE, established relationship, old friends, banter, arguing (not actual arguing, just reader knowing her worth, peter just stands there), allusion to NSFW, fluff
WORD COUNT: 2,342
say yes to heaven
Peter stalked across the ballroom, determined to talk to Y/N.
On the other side stood Y/N, who was determined to ignore Peter until hell froze over.
Susan rolled her eyes at the predicament. It was obvious neither of them would let it go, so she decided to take the reigns of the situation and manipulate their minds—slightly—so that they would stop this nonsense and so Susan, Edmund, and poor, sweet, confused Lucy could finally live in peace. "You have to dance with him."
Y/N scoffed. "I don't have to do anything."
Susan nodded. "You're right; you don't have to do anything. I just thought the High Queen and King should have the last dance instead of the High King and Duchess Mian, but it is no matter. I'll go get her-"
She shook her head. "No, it's-"
Peter approached his siblings, only looking at Y/N. He extended his hand hesitantly. "May I have this last waltz?"
She sighed, putting her hand in his. "If you must."
They walked away, and Edmund laughed at his older sister. "Remind me never to be on your bad side, Su."
Lucy looked up at Susan, puzzled. "But Duchess Mian was done dancing hours ago. She twisted her ankle."
Susan smirked. "She doesn't need to know that."
Peter put his hand around Y/N’s waist, earning a scoff from the annoyed Queen. "You don't have to be this close for a waltz, Your Majesty."
"Don't call me that."
"Call you what? Your formal title?"
He glared at her. "Stop behaving like a child."
She laughed. "I'm behaving like a child? Interesting."
"Y/N/N, I'm sorry."
She smirked, murmuring. "Well, this is new."
He continued. "I'm sorry that I haven't made you feel loved, and I'm sorry that you feel like I don't pay attention to you, but I do." Y/N just stared at him as he kept talking. "I know that your favorite color is deep blue like the sea, I know that you prefer blueberries above all other fruit, I know that you are fiercely loyal, that you want two children because you're scared the first one will get lonely. I know that you treat my siblings like your own, and I know that you are the love of my life." Somewhere along the line of his speech, she had looked down and was staring at his chest. Peter cleared his throat, nerves overtaking his adrenaline. "Say anything, please."
"I can't believe you." They twirled around again, and Peter became confused. Why was she still upset with him? "Y/N/N I-"
"Don't Y/N/N me. I just told you that I didn't want you to tell me like this because it would feel rushed. And here you are, saying some beautiful, heartfelt speech, and you expect me to fall into your arms? Is that it?"
"I didn't think that would happen exactly, but I did think it would go a little better than this-" He stopped, and his smile returned quickly. "You thought it was beautiful?"
"Peter-"
The waltz ended, and Y/N thanked Aslan. Perfect timing. Susan walked out into the middle of the dance floor, grinning. "Thank you all for such a wonderful evening. Safe travels home, and a Happy Christmas!"
Y/N talked to a few guests, thanking them for traveling so very far. But when they had all trickled out, and it was just the Narnian royals, she stalked off as far away from Peter as she could.
She leaned her head against the back of her chair, letting out a deep breath. The night had felt longer than it actually had been, and she always felt more relaxed sitting on her balcony. Her robe did little to keep her warm, so she went back into her closet and pulled out a thicker one, layering it on top. Going outside in the middle of winter wasn't the wisest idea, but the balcony was her safe space. Her door flung open, and she gasped, hiding against the wall, looking for anything near her to defend herself. Peter’s voice echoed through her room, causing her to feel as though steam was coming out of her ears.
"Y/N."
She left her hiding spot, stalking toward him. "You cannot just come into my room unannounced-"
"I have to talk to you."
She shook her head. "You cannot be in here-"
"Y/N/N, please-"
She put her hands on his chest, pushing him towards the door. "Someone could see you-"
"I do not care." He looked down at her, his eyes crazed with something she didn't want to address at the moment. But apparently, he did. "I love you, and I know that you love me. You're just scared. You don't like that I finally admitted my feelings for you at the wrong time when it looked like it didn't matter." He sighed. "And I am truly sorry for that, I am. But you helped me realize that I love you, and I always have." He walked closer. "I know that you love me too. You just don't want to become vulnerable."
She scoffed. "I am not in love with you. We're eighteen. We just think we're in love."
He laughed. "I did not say that you were in love with me."
Her cheeks turned red. "No, but you implied it.” He looked at her with that stupid grin. “Leave, Pevensie." She pushed his chest again, but he grabbed her wrists. She shook against his hold. "Why do you always resort to this?"
He pulled her closer. "You know that you love me."
She didn't move away, but she didn't move toward him. She merely smiled up at him. "You-need-to-leave." She pushed him once more. "We cannot handle another scandal at the moment."
He rolled his eyes. "I would hardly call turning down Lord Eluna a scandal."
Her laugh was void of humor. "It is when it looks like I merely turned him down because I wanted to."
Peter huffed. "Fine, I'll go." He smiled one last time before he left her room. "But you know where to find me."
Y/N laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling in shock. She did love him; she knew that. She then spent the next hour contemplating whether or not she should go to him. A moment of weakness struck at 2 am. She couldn't get his confession out of her head. Actually, it was just the one sentence that made her heart flutter. "And I know that you are the love of my life."
Slipping on her shoes, she tiptoed to Peter's room, knocking on the door. No answer. Maybe he had gone to bed. She knocked once more, and the door opened, Peter's groggy face in front of her. She smiled awkwardly. "Did I wake you?"
He shook his head. "Are you alright?"
She shook her head back. He held the door open more, gesturing to come inside. Y/N looked around, smiling, when she saw a painting of the five of them above his fireplace. He closed the door and walked towards the fire, fixing a kettle.
"Would you like tea? Always makes me feel better when I-"
"I know that you're the love of my life too."
He put the kettle down and stood up, staring at her. "What?"
"I love you. I'm sorry, I just- I had to tell you." Peter walked towards her slowly, a smile growing on his face, and she became nervous. "Why are you silent? You're never silent." He walked closer, and she whispered, a smile threatening to break through her scared facade. "Please just say something."
Peter's smile had grown into a full grin as he looked down at her, whispering back a single word. "Jump."
A chill ran down her spine as she complied with his request. He held her by her thighs as he walked her up against a wall. She flushed. He dipped his head down, grinning boyishly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."
She sighed, stretching her neck to touch his lips. "Just do it, please."
He smirked and slammed his lips into hers without any warning. She let her hands travel up the nape of his neck, grabbing his neck and pulling slightly. She gasped for air, looking up at him, dazed and content. "I want you."
His eyes were dark, and her knees felt weak. He grinned once more, throwing her onto the bed. "I am going to prove to you how much I love you."
The sun poked lazily through shut drapes, hitting her eyes. She sighed, opening them hesitantly. Her legs tangled together with Peters and his burgundy sheets. Y/N smiled giddily, knowing that last night hadn't been a dream. Peter's head was resting underneath her jaw, and she hummed softly, putting her hand through his hair. She moved slightly, trying to re-situate herself, and he groaned, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her closer, if that was somehow possible. He murmured in his sleep. "Y/N..."
She couldn't bring herself to wake him, so she carefully grabbed a pillow she had been using and placed it underneath his head. Prying his arm off her waist, she grabbed her nightgown and robe, quickly throwing them on. She looked back at Peter once more, pushing the hair out of his face, and gently kissed his forehead.
Y/N tiptoed towards his door, shutting it gently, and let out a deep breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. She walked to her room quickly and sank to the ground. "What just happened?" She was in shock, that much she knew. It wasn't the kind of shock you have after witnessing something horrible, but her gut was twisting, and she knew it was because they’d changed their dynamic forever. It was a lot to handle by herself.
She needed to breathe.
Penelope galloped out of the stables, and she sighed as the fresh air rejuvenated her skin. Winter was in full bloom, but it wasn't the evil, cold, and dark winter that Narnians were used to. It was a magical, warm winter. The air was crisp but just enough so you enjoyed it. She rode into the woods, only slowing when she saw something eerily familiar. She stopped Penelope and jumped off, the snow crunching underneath her feet.
The lamp post.
Y/N grinned. It was still here. She walked closer, feeling at home with the old piece of infrastructure. She walked further into the woods, remembering the way back to the Spare Oom, as Tumnus so lovingly called it, perfectly. The flashbacks flooded back, and she grinned as she reminisced back to when they were just children. A chill ran down her back as she made contact with a rather furry branch. She kept walking forward, seeing the crack of the door until a voice called out.
"Y/N!"
She gasped, throwing herself out of the wardrobe. Walking back to the lamp post, butterflies fluttered incessantly at the sight of Peter and his disheveled hair. He looked nervous, and she blushed; it was sweet to see how much he cared.
She smiled lightly, walking closer to him. "Hello."
He nodded. "Hello."
Y/N cleared her throat. "Is something wrong-"
"You weren't there. This morning." He coughed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Imagine my surprise when I rolled over and you were no longer there."
She sighed. "Peter-"
"I understand. We don't have to talk about it again; we can just forget it happened-"
"I don't want to forget."
He looked up, tilting his head. "You don't?"
"No. I don't." She put her hand on his arm, smiling. "I had a nice time. I just needed some fresh air, that's all."
He nodded. "Ah." He grabbed her hand delicately and kissed the back, his eyes locked on hers. "You scared me."
"I'm sorry." She brought her other hand up to his cheek, caressing it softly. "I didn't mean to scare you."
He sighed, and she stood on her tiptoes, kissing his lips softly. "Do you forgive me now?"
He didn't respond, and she kissed him once more, more passionately than the first. He’d almost melted into the ground. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her closer, murmuring against her lips. "You're forgiven."
"Oh thank Aslan, I was worried for a second."
He rolled his eyes. "As if I could ever be mad at you. "
Y/N squealed as Peter helped her off her horse and twirled her around. She grinned down at him, and he looked up at her like she was the moon and the stars.
A cough echoed through the empty stables. "Are we interrupting?"
Her eyes widened, and she pushed herself away from Peter. "No, not at all."
Peter looked down at her with a humorous glint in his eye. "Not at all?"
She hissed at him, pulling his ear down to her level. "We are in the presence of your family, Peter. Try to hold yourself together for a moment." He smirked, whispering back. "That's going to be difficult."
Edmund sighed. "Are you done?"
Y/N nodded. "Yes, yes, we're done." She pat Peter's arm lightly. "I'll see you at dinner, Peter."
Peter watched her take two steps, and he just couldn't stand it anymore. He grabbed her wrist as she tried to walk away and pulled her back towards him. She looked up at him, her eyes wide. She shook her head slowly, and he smiled reassuringly before looking up. He cleared his throat and looked up at his siblings. "Y/N and I have something to tell you."
Susan sighed. "Peter, you did not elope-"
They both turned red, shaking their heads quickly. "No! No!" Y/N looked up at him, and he smiled brightly. "We’re courting."
Susan crossed her arms and decided she would bring up the fact that she knew Y/N had been in his room for a different time.
Making Up For Lost Time - Edmund Pevensie x Reader
Based on the following two requests:
can we get an enemies to lovers with edmund that has smut in it??
PLEASEE an edmund smut,, preferably something with a risk of getting caught? or not bb i don’t mind- but a lot of dirty talking too 🤭
It's not necessarily enemies to lovers? But I really hope you enjoy it, this is probably my favorite thing I've written thus far.
Summary: You and Edmund are definitely feeling the effects of your arranged marriage.
Warnings: Language, Smut, not proofed!
Female reader
You couldn't take much more of him, nor him you. The both of you knew why the marriage had to happen, Narnia couldn't risk another war, and Calormen was losing resources due to the Great Desert. As a compromise, Peter, Caspian, and Susan met with Prince Rabadash to secure a compromise. A truce between the kingdoms and a new way for the resources to be traded was sealed with the promise of a marriage between you and Edmund.
And neither of you was happy with it.
It didn't help that you had shared chambers either. You and Edmund had asked The High Kings and Queen about a switch in rooms but they only pushed further.
"Imagine what the people would think if the newlyweds weren't sharing a room?" So you were forced to live with him. Fall asleep next to him each night, and wake by his side every morning.
Granted, Edmund wasn't intolerable. He just wasn't tolerable either. He was a handsome man, sure, but that face also came with his quick wit and sharp tongue, two things you'd grown to loathe.
He'd challenge you, yes. But his tone of speech was never rude or condescending. But the biggest thing you hated about him, he was always so charming. So sweet. So fair.
He didn't earn the title of The Just King for nothing. But it just added fuel to the fire.
He'd always let you use the bath chambers first, and never complained or protested when you took longer baths.
He didn't pressure you to do anything on your wedding night. He simply kept to himself, offering you a smile and a "goodnight" from his side of the bed. You had been told what was to come, your mind was full of stories from other women in your life. Horror stories.
"It is ever so painful."
"Not pleasurable at all!"
"I can hardly wait until it's over!"
Needless to say, when your new husband had simply wished you a good night and went to sleep, you were surprised. The next morning you woke by his side, finding it odd that he had barely moved an inch. You were basically in the middle of the large bed, Edmund sleeping soundly on the edge, right where he was the night before. You were gone before he'd woken up.
Edmund never failed to greet you kindly, entering the room quietly just in case you had decided to take a nap. He never raised his voice to you either.
Was he snarky and sassy? Of course. But he had always treated you and your family with kindness and respect. It was insufferable. Sometimes you wished he'd just be rude so you would have a real reason to hate him, aside from the fact that he was your husband but you never seemed to communicate. You had gotten used to the fact that there would never be any sort of friendship, let alone a relationship, between you and Edmund, so you resorted to hating him.
The only time he'd gotten angry with you was when you hadn't returned to the bedroom one evening. Unbeknownst to you, he began searching frantically for you, creating quite a stir in the grand castle, only to find you asleep in the library. He cursed to himself before picking your sleeping form up in his arms and bringing you back to your room.
You woke up that morning in bed, confused at first about your location, but relaxing when you saw Edmund's sleeping form next to you.
As you rolled out of bed and made your way to the bathroom you heard his voice.
"Don't do that again." You froze, turning around. His dark eyes were on yours and he was very much not asleep.
"Do what?" He sat up, giving you a view of his very shirtless torso. You averted your eyes immediately.
"Not come back." Your confusion brought your eyes to him again. His lanky, but well-built frame, was now sitting on the edge of the bed.
"What?" He rose from the bed, a hand running through his dark hair. You stare at him while he walks toward you, stopping less than a foot away from you.
"You didn't come back last night. Don't do that again." He brushed your cheek with his hand, and leaned forward, pressing a kiss there too. You could feel your cheeks heating at the proximity. The last time he'd been this close to you was your wedding. He hadn't touched you since then either.
He pulled away quickly, stepping around you.
"Did you bring me back?" You turned your head to face him.
"Yes."
...
That night, there was a ball between the great nations. Narnia was the gracious host to Archenland, the Conglomeration of Nations, Ettinsmoor, and of course, Calormen.
You hadn't seen Edmund since the morning. You had been whisked away by maids to get ready for the celebration. The ball was for you and Edmund, another party after the wedding you guessed.
You were dressed in a gorgeous light blue gown with intricate white floral stitching and lace along the neckline. It was gorgeous. The long sleeves were fitted and the back laced up like a corset. Your hair had been fixed down with small braids throughout as to not disrupt the crown you'd also be adorning for the evening.
Then, you were whisked away to the celebration, the guests awaiting the arrival of the newlyweds. Edmund was waiting in the corridor, dressed in the same light blue as you, his silver crown on top of his head. He looked very handsome, more so than usual, and suddenly your thoughts were filled with images of you and Edmund dancing together, of Edmund touching you, his large hand on your waist, maybe even his lips on yours.
"M'Lady?"
You blinked, eyes meeting his. What had he just called you?
"Y-yes?"
"I said are you ready to go in?" Your cheeks heated once again and you nodded, looking away from him. He chuckled and then he laced his fingers through yours, effectively making your heart stop.
...
As soon as your introductions were over, you slipped away from Edmund's side. The thoughts kept popping up in your brain. Why did you keep thinking these thoughts? Edmund didn't want to marry you, let alone consummate the marriage, so why did your brain keep doing this? You hid yourself well by the banquet table, keeping away from the crowds.
"Queen Y/N?" You turned at the use of your title, looking at the sheer opposite of your husband. A man with blonde hair and blue eyes was staring at you with a dazzling smile. You found yourself preferring Edmund's dark hair, brown eyes, and ever-present smirk.
"Hello..."
"I am Prince Cor of Archenland. It is very nice to meet you, M'Lady."
You had to stop yourself from reacting to the name Edmund had called you only an hour before. You'd much preferred it coming from his mouth than Prince Cor. Oh now you'd done it. This poor Prince was trying to make small talk with you and now you were thinking about your husband's mouth? The blush creeping over your cheeks and shoulders was enough for you to shake yourself out of your thoughts.
"It is nice to meet you too, your Highness."
As you and Cor began to make conversation, Edmund's wondering eyes found you. His hand tightened around the goblet he'd been holding and his gaze narrowed.
"Who is that?" He hadn't even noticed he was interrupting his brother.
"Who is who?" Peter replied.
"The bloke flirting with my wife, that's who." Peter held back a laugh.
"Ed, I hardly think Prince Cor would flirt with Y/N, this is your marriage celebration after all. Besides, she wouldn't flirt with someone else so shamelessly."
Edmund wasn't even listening and was halfway across the ballroom before his brother could finish speaking.
"I really do believe that astronomy is one of the most interesting subjects one can learn about-" The Just King interrupted the blonde prince, swiftly interjecting himself into the conversation.
"Hello, My Love." Your face burned at the new name. Then he turned your face to his and kisses your cheek. You could feel your heart in your ears and you looked down, suddenly interested in the floor. "May I ask what you and Prince Cor are talking about?" The blonde man looked uncomfortable.
"We were speaking-"
"I believe I asked my wife, not you." Cor lowered his head in a nod in return, quickly and quietly exiting the conversation. If looks could kill, Prince Cor would have been dead on the ballroom floor in mere seconds from Edmund's piercing glare.
You began to slip away from your husband before his strong hand wrapped around your arm and gently tugged you back. His front was lightly pressed against your back, his head lowered so he could speak into your ear.
"And where do you think you're going?" His voice sent shivers down your spine. His hand trailed up your arm, resting where your shoulder meets your collar bone, visible from the Sabrina neckline of your dress. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"
What? Were you dreaming?
"Because it's working, darling."
Edmund's hand grasps yours again and he begins to lead you out of the room, desperate to get you alone. It isn't until you are outside of the boisterous party that you speak.
"Where are we going?" Edmund stops to look around, before ushering you into a corridor adjacent to the party. "Edmund!"
"Shh!" His hand covers your mouth and he presses his front to yours, making sure you are silent and unseen as guests walk past the hall. He looks at you and almost melts at the beautiful, wide eyes looking up at him. He removes his hand from your mouth, placing it on the wall by your head. You don't even register that the other is on your waist.
You speak gently, making sure your voice is hushed.
"Edmund, why are you jealous?" Your husband takes a deep breath before glancing down the hallway. "Ed?" Your hand timidly reaches up to bring his face back to yours and his eyes widen at the contact.
"You were talking to another man. At the celebration of our wedding."
You had to stifle your shock.
"Edmund, you are my husband, you have no reason to be jealous of a prince from a neighboring kingdom." His lips quirk up a bit.
"How can I not be when you are showing more interest in anyone else but me? I am your husband and you are my wife. I should be by your side tonight." His words are so surprising and you are glad for the wall behind you, and the man in front of you, for the extra support to stand.
"I thought you would want your space."
"Why in Aslan's name would you think that?" You look at him again, taking him in completely, the way he looks in the blue fabric, his dark hair framing his face with that godforsaken crown making him look better than he had a few hours ago. "Y/N, why do you think I wouldn't want to be near you?" His eyes search yours and you blink away, far too flushed under his heavy gaze.
"You haven't ever wanted to before." The words hit him like bricks.
"What?"
The words begin to spill out before you can stop them.
"You always sleep on your side with your back to me, you are always gone when I wake up, I never see you except when you come to get ready for bed, and on our wedding night you didn't..." You push through the embarrassment. "You didn't even touch me. I know this marriage isn't what we had wanted but I thought that maybe we might have been friends-" Edmund cuts off your monologue with a kiss. Your first kiss since your wedding night.
His hand moves from the wall to your neck and the other pulls you to his body, needing to get closer to you.
Your body reacts immediately, melting into the kiss, hands resting on his waist.
It ends too soon, Edmund pulling away first, putting his hand back on the wall while he catches his breath, but the other remained on your waist.
"You think I don't want to be near you?" He stares at you with an incredulous look on his handsome face. The closeness of his face to yours is enough to make you blush, again. "Darling, I haven't..." He takes a moment to breathe, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. "I didn't touch you that night because I didn't want to hurt you. I'm so bloody drawn to you that I have to sleep on the opposite side of the bed turned away from you so I don't taint your virtue. I leave in the morning because-"
Your hand covers his mouth as another rowdy group of guests wanders by the corridor. You wait for them to leave before speaking again, keeping your hand plastered onto his face.
"So, you don't hate me?"
He shakes his head.
No.
"You never did?"
No.
You remove your hand from his mouth and the two of you just stare at each other. Unmoving. It feels like minutes pass before he covers your mouth with his again.
His hand returns to your neck, pulling you to him once more.
"I'm sorry I ever made you think I didn't want you. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I am the luckiest man alive to have you as my wife."
"Edmund..." The kind words hit you straight in the heart.
"And now, it seems I have something I have to make up for." His smirk appears and it sends your insides to mush.
"But Edmund I-"
"Shhhh." He smiles, his head dipping to yours. "Don't want to get caught, now do we?" He kisses you again, this one full of heat and passion, the lack of contact between you only adding fuel to the fire.,
Edmund pulls your body flush against his and groans into your mouth. You falter at the glorious sound but he is there to support you
His kisses travel down your neck to your collarbones.
"Edmund... What are you doing?"
"Making up for lost time, darling." He grins at you again. "Now be quiet." He kisses you again, his sneaky hands running down your sides to your skirt. He breaks the kiss to look down, his hands pulling the fabric up to your waist.
"Fuck." Your eyes went wide. You'd never heard Edmund use that kind of language before. His eyes lock on yours again.
He looks perfect. He's a king. Your king. Your husband.
"Are you ok with this?" You nod yes multiple times, making him smirk yet again, and then you gasp at the contact of his fingers against your womanhood. Your hands grip his shoulders for support, his muscles tensing at the fact that you are touching him. That he is touching you. His fingers find no resistance due to the effects of his words and his ego grows. You bury your face into his shirt when his fingers slip into you. Though foreign, it is an immensely pleasurable feeling and you can't help but want more.
Then he begins to move them. You push further into him to silence your mouth, the feeling far too wonderful to not have a vocal effect.
But then his thumb brushes on something that makes you let out a loud moan. Your face flushes in embarrassment.
"Do you want everyone to know that I'm defiling you in the hallway?"
Oh dear, you're afraid his words combined with whatever he is doing with his fingers are going to kill you.
He repeats the same action but kisses you once more, your moans muffled.
Edmund can tell you are getting close, you've begun to shake, you're gasping into his mouth, and you are practically rutting into his hand. He makes the conscious decision to break the kiss to suck on your neck, covering your mouth with his free hand to silence any escaping sounds. Then, his thumb presses up again and his fingers hook inside of you and you convulse around him.
He is in awe of how gorgeous you are and what he'd just done.
As you catch your breath, your trembling hands find the waistband of his trousers and gently begin unbuttoning them, eager for more. His eyes avert to what you're doing and he curses again. You falter.
"Do-do you want me to stop?" His head shakes back and forth.
"I think I'd die if you did, love."
Edmund begins kissing your neck once again while you free him from the confinement of his tight pants and you gasp. He laughs into your neck, sending goosebumps throughout your entire body.
"Don't get shy on me now, darling. You wanted this, right?" You nod and feel him smile into your skin.
He makes quick work of your undergarments, tossing them to the side, lining himself up with your lower half.
He halts and you look into his eyes, body shaking in need and anticipation for what you had been so scared of on your wedding night.
With your eyes on his, he pushes into you, stopping when you push against him.
"Are you alright?" His voice is next to your ear.
"Just one second." Edmund waits, trying to distract himself from the way your body is clenching around him. Your small voice brings him back to reality. "Edmund."
"Yes?" You notice the rasp in his voice, the strain in his muscles. To ease him, you follow your instincts and roll your hips against his and his hands grip your hips in response, stifling the moan wanting to leave his throat.
"Fuck. Y/N. You can't do that." It's your turn to smirk. You do it again and he presses your body back into the wall. The soft grip on your hips tightens and his eyes meet yours, blown with lust. Then, they narrow at the smirk on your lips. "Oh, so you think that's funny do you?" He begins to slide out of you and your eyes roll backwards. Then he slams back in.
The moan that escapes your lips sets a fire in him and his hand claps back over your mouth.
"How many times do I need to tell you to be quiet?" He begins to move his hips again, the feeling ten times more wonderful than just his fingers. "Is this what you wanted?" You can barely comprehend his hushed words. "Is that why you were flirting with him? To make me jealous so I'd finally touch you?" His free hand worms its way back to the apex of your thighs, finding that place that made you squirm in no time. "You're lucky I love you." You don't even register his words as you come undone.
Edmund follows behind, pushing into you one last time before falling into you. His breathing is labored and the two of you don't speak while you catch your breath.
"Edmund!" Your heads snap toward the sound of Peter yelling his name.
"Dammnit!" He quickly makes himself presentable and you follow suit, making sure your hair isn't wild and your skirts are back in place. He takes your hand, smiling at you, before leading you back out of the hallway.
"Edmund!" Peter's back was to you.
"Peter, stop yelling, I'm right here!" The High King turns around, a glare present on his face.
"Your guests are wondering where the two of you have been! You disappeared thirty minutes ago! Get back inside, now."
Edmund doesn't reply to his bother, opting for an eye roll instead. Then he turns to you offering you a bow.
"Shall we get back to the celebration, my queen?" You giggle.
"Let's."
...
Peter may have overreacted just a bit because the only people wondering where the two of you had gone was him.
Edmund pulled you to the ballroom floor, his arms draped around your waist. You settled yours around his shoulders with a smile. The rest of the party seemed to disappear as he bent down to place a soft kiss against your lips.
You rest your head against his shoulder and whisper into his ear.
"I love you too."
AHHHHH! Y'all I'm really proud of this and hope you enjoy it. :)
hi bestie i have a fic request if you’re taking them :) one where frank and reader have been seriously dating for a while and they’ve both started to think about marriage but haven’t discussed it together. so i’m thinking frank asks out of the blue after being nervous and acting weird for a couple days, he says something like “i ain’t asking yet, but if i asked you to marry me, would you say yes?”
but if you’re not taking requests or if this doesn’t inspire you, please disregard and have a super nice day!! 🥰🌷🌟
NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN ➵ F. CASTLE
Summary: When your friend’s wedding comes up, Frank is convinced he wants one with you.
Warnings: Mentions of loss, mostly just fluff, feminine nicknames
Word count: 2k
Author’s note: This was actually a half-finished fic I had written a few years ago and this request inspired me to adapt it a little bit and finish it :) I hope you like it <3 I would marry this man in a heartbeat.
Ever since your and Frank’s two friends had announced they were getting married, he had been rewinding back to how it had felt for him. The domesticity, the joy of calling his wife, well, his wife; the relief of having someone by his side through thick and thin. That last part still rang true for him — you were his rock as he was yours, and it was for that reason that he reflected upon his first marriage with fondness and nostalgia, instead of the usual misery and regret. It still hurt, but as he watched you fill out the RSVP card and giddily talk about getting to take part in your dear friend’s wedding… yeah, that softened the blow.
In fact, it made him think of something he had long ago given up on. Revived some old dream he had buried, brought back feelings he hadn’t expected to ever feel again. Because of you. And as he watched you sit on the floor in front of him, rambling on about the kind of dress you’d be wearing, he couldn’t help but suppress a smile — not just at the idea of you in that dress, but the fact that you were all his. Awkward rambles and all.
And my God, was he all yours.
The more he thought about gathering up the courage to ask you to marry him, the more nervous he became. He was usually so unwavering and confident, but it was no news that next to the women he loved, he was just a puppy dog. He was far from scary or menacing — he was just a man in love, hoping the woman of his dreams wanted to spend the rest of her days with him the way he did, too.
Still, he had hoped you wouldn’t notice. But apparently, he wasn’t as good at hiding it as he thought.
You first picked up on something on his mind when he was watching you try on your dress for the wedding. You were rambling about the details on the dress when you realized that even for someone quiet, Frank was being exceptionally silent. You looked at him through the mirror, only to find him smiling at you from across the room, dark eyes focused on you yet his attention not quite there.
”Baby?” you spoke up, ”you okay there?”
Clearing his throat, Frank nodded and wiped the lovestruck smile off of his face. ”Just fine, sweetheart. You look really pretty, y’know that? Could stare at you all day”, he noted, making you blush and forget all about the worry embering in your heart.
He was good at deflecting, making you flustered with genuine but calculated compliments, and changing the subject when you tried to poke. But as endearing as his longing gazes could be, you noticed he got quiet when you showed him pictures of your friend’s wedding ring, and again when you decided to get in the right mood by watching your favorite rom-com.
Finally, when you were listening to the playlist your friend had sent over, and Frank seemed to grow uncomfortable yet again, you decided to be brave and approach the subject head-on.
”Hey, you know you don’t have to come with me, right?” you pointed out, and with his eyebrows drawn together, Frank looked over to you from across the couch where you were both seated.
”You don’t want me to?” he questioned, seeming a little dejected, so you rushed to grab his hand.
”I want you there. But I can tell this might be a little much for you, and it’s no wonder. It’s okay to be sad, my love. Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?” you pleaded, and with an affectionate smile breaking on his face, Frank pulled you in so he could kiss your temple.
”It ain’t that, I promise. Sure, it’s, uh… a reminder, I s’pose. But right now, ’m just feelin’ real lucky to be here with you, aight?” he reassured you, and even though you seemed hesitant to believe him, you nodded.
”I want to be there with you”, Frank added.
And indeed, when the day of the wedding arrived, you were the only thing in his sights. You looked breathtaking in the lilac dress and he made sure you knew — and when you returned the compliment at his suit with a cheeky joke, his heart made a somersault in his chest. You were radiating with joy and love all day long, yet at the same time you had taken on so much responsibility to ensure your friend would have a smooth celebration, and that all the guests would feel at home. You were a natural and it warmed Frank’s heart even when you rejected his help with a kiss and told him to get a drink.
That was what he did, his gaze still stuck on you as you danced with one of your mutual friends’ kids across the venue. A soft smile tugged on his lips as he watched you shed the jacket he had given you so you could move easier, your laugh easy to pick out even through the music and chatter. You were his whole focus, always.
Chuckling, Frank then finished his beer before striding across the floor and over to you. He’d have to wait until later to make his plan come true, but until then, he was desperate to hold you close to him.
”Mind if I cut in, buddy?” Frank rasped at the little boy you had been twirling around, and although he seemed reluctant, above all he was intimidated by the burly man by your side suddenly. Quick as that, the kids vanished from around you and you couldn’t help but giggle while turning to Frank who instinctively slid his hands across your hips to reel you into his chest.
”It’s mean to scare kids”, you pointed out teasingly, well-aware that children adored him — he was a dad through and through, but there was no doubt that for the sake of stealing you all to himself, he had put a little extra meanness into his stare.
”What can I say, sweetheart”, he whispered into your ear, his smile touching your cheek as he leaned into you, ”I get jealous easily.”
You laughed at that, and it only widened Frank’s grin as he dropped his forehead to yours and swayed side to side with you. You were shorter but you were managing to hold onto his neck, nearly on your tiptoes as he took the lead and moved you across the floor in gentle, tender movements. His firm chest felt like a safe place and his arms around you put a smile on your face — almost as big as the love in your eyes as you shyly beamed up at him.
You couldn’t help but notice him glancing around while you kept dancing, his hands just the slightest bit shaky instead of their steady selves, and a frown deepened your forehead. ”Are you okay, baby? You seem… nervous, again”, you pointed out, and quickly looking back at you, he nodded.
”I’m okay, sweetheart”, he insisted before leaning foreard to kiss your forehead. ”Hey, I love you. With my whole damn heart, you know that? Ain’t no one I’d rather be dancin’ with right now”, he went on, and feeling you tense up in his arms, he emphasized his own words, ”no one.”
You nearly shed a tear at that, and even though they didn’t hold as much meaning coming from you, you returned the sentiment. ”Me either”, you hummed into his chest, ”I love you so much, Frank.”
More than one song passed with him just holding you, thinking of how lucky he was, the occasional careful kiss pressed into your hair while you clung onto him. It was warm and safe and you wouldn’t have changed a thing for the world.
Only when the midnight hours were rolling in, the crowd was beginning to dismantle and the happily new-weds were officially sent off to their honeymoon. As you watched their car drive away with all their loved ones waving them off, you couldn’t help but tear up — in response, Frank took your hand and held it as tight as you needed.
Not much later, people were turning to you to thank for a job well done before leaving in their own rides. Frank could have sworn you were an angel, smiling at each and every one of them and wishing them a safe journey home. Eventually, there was no one left but you and him and the clean-up crew, and just as you faced Frank to tell him your feet were killing you, he interjected by simply standing there.
He was holding a big bouquet of different colored roses in his hands, looking absolutely gorgeous with his dark eyes and white shirt and shy smile as he eyed you up and down. It wasn’t until he was handing over the flowers that you realized it wasn’t a dream, and upon recognizing the bouquet, you gasped.
”Oh no, did she forget—”, you started, wondering if the bride would have loved to have her flowers with her, but cutting you off, Frank shook his head while urging you to take them.
”Nah. It’s for you, sweetheart”, he stated simply, and when you gave him a curious smile, he chuckled. ”She, uh, she let me have it. She was gonna do the whole throwin’ thing, y’know?” he went on, and again, you gasped.
”Oh, I knew we forgot something!” you huffed, and chuckling, Frank scratched the back of his neck.
”No, no, uh… I asked her if I could have it. See, uh, she’d throw the bouquet to see who gets married next, yeah?” he tried explaining, and when you nodded, he broke into a flustered smile. ”Guess I just didn’t wanna take the chance you’d miss”, he finished, and at that, your smile dropped and you glanced between the bridal bouquet and him with disbelief.
”I ain’t askin’ yet… but if I did, would ya say yes?” he continued, fiddling with his hands nervously while waiting to see any reaction on your face. For a second, he wondered if it had been a terrible idea, but then your eyes started welling up and your hand flew to your mouth as you fidgeted and looked at the flowers and then back at Frank whose eyes lit up with excitement and relief.
”You’d really… you’d have me?” you whispered, your voice fragile as you reveled in the fantasy of standing like this with him some day — face to face, you in a dress, him in a suit with flowers in your hands and the moonlight above you.
”Hell yeah, sweetheart. If you’d have me. ’Cause I fuckin’ adore you. More than words can say, but you, uh, you… you make me feel alive. And happy to be alive. I can’t imagine a single day without you”, he sighed, and with a vigorous nod, you leaped forward to wrap your arms around him.
”Yes”, you cried out before pulling back just to kiss him, ”yes now and every day after this one. Whenever you want to do it… my answer will be the same.”
Grinning, Frank hugged you tight and closed his eyes while squeezing you. The two of you rocked back and forth in one another’s arms, silent apart from your sniffles, until you spoke up. ”This explains why you’ve been acting so weird lately. You’d really think the big bad Punisher would be better at staying calm under pressure”, you joked, earning a snort from Frank.
”Hey, this was really fuckin’ important. I wasn’t sure, y’know?” he shrugged while letting go of you enough to cradle your hands in his own and look into your eyes.
”Awww, Frankie”, you smiled up at him, ”you had no reason to be nervous. I’m completely and entirely in love with you.” With love twinkling in his eyes, he leaned into seal the distance between your lips, kissing you deeply. He stole your breath away, as he always did.
”Thank you for always bein’ patient with me. I know it ain’t always easy to be with me… but I hope it’s worth it. I’mma make it my mission to make sure of that”, he swore while resting his forehead against yours, and with another smile, you nodded.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ fluffy best friends to lovers dialogue prompts
✩ "what if i told you i love you? and not just as your friend."
✩ "can i kiss you? shit! i didn't mean to say that-" "shut up and kiss me you big idiot."
✩ "i don't want you going out with them," "why not?" "because i want you to go with me."
✩ "i've loved you since the day you threw a rock at me in first grade."
✩ "and if i did kiss you? what would you do then?"
✩ "if you were my (boyfriend/girlfriend/partner) i would worship the ground you walk on."
✩ "kiss me." "you aren't serious." "i so am."
✩ "because you're my best friend and i fucking love you." "you love me as your friend or as something more?"
✩ "when i saw you that first day of 7th grade i knew one thing, and it's not just that i wanted to become your favourite person, it's that i wanted to be your everything. best friend or more, just let me be your everything."
✩ "spin the bottle?" "there's only two of us..."
✩ "let's play a game, kiss, marry & love, the options are me, me and wouldn't you look at that, me."
This fic is for anyone really, think of your fictional crush or whatever or hell don’t even put in a name, this was just brainrotting from start to finish. Think of it as a Modern Au I guess as it is….vaguely. But this is smut, does that REALLY Matter?
For the weekend of sin, could I get Matt Murdock with "and where do you think you're going?"
"And where do you think you're doing?" The words are low and whispered in warning against your back. Arms lock around your waist and pull you back against an unforgiving chest.
You can't help but to giggle.
"Matt, I've got to get ready. You know I have lunch with Karen today." Matt huffs and nuzzles his head down into your neck, causing you to giggle again as his stubble tickles you.
"Or you could stay here and let me have my way with you." He said it so hopefully that you can't help but to smile.
"Matt, if I cancel on her again, I'm pretty sure she's going to- Matt!" Stubbornly, he had picked you and began carrying you to the bedroom. He was like a cat wanting attention. He wanted it now and on his terms. It would be adorable if you weren't really at risk of being late to lunch.
"Matthew Murdock put me down right now- ahhh!" You squealed as he tossed you onto the bed and then laughed as he unceremoniously dropped down on top of you. He was careful not to hurt you but he was also making it clear: you weren't going anywhere.
"Matt, you dork! Let me up."
"Put me down. Let me up. You're bossy today." He grumbled but didn't move. Instead, he began pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck. You knew if you were really serious, Matt would let you go in a heartbeat. But he knew you were just playing hard to get and he was always up for the challenge.
"Come on, sweetheart. I'll be quick. You won't even be late." You couldn't help but to moan when he found the sweet spot on your neck and you felt him smirk against your skin. He had you right where he wanted you and both of you knew it.
Pairing: Loki x GN!Reader
Summary: When a mission goes wrong, there’s only one person whose comfort you crave.
Word count: 830
Author’s note: Just a fluffy little Loki drabble for @sarahscribbles!
I am resilient. I am safe.
You slowly exhaled, repeating the mantra over and over again in your head. Bruce had assured you that the exposure to the HYDRA-developed chemical was likely nothing. However, out of an abundance of caution, you, Natasha, and a few other agents were now in quarantine until he could determine exactly what had happened during your botched mission.
You paced back and forth as you waited for an update. It had been hours now, and the monotony of the bio-containment facility was beginning to take its toll on you. The endless beeping of machines and whirring of fans filled the small room, and you found yourself longing for fresh air. And sunlight. And Loki.
He hadn’t tagged along on your most recent misadventure since the assignment had been a seemingly simple one: hack into the outlying HYDRA lab’s mainframe, extract the data files, and be on your merry way. But maybe if he had been there, things would have gone differently…
Turning on your heel, you frowned as the lab curtain concealing the hermetically-sealed door faintly rippled, the all-too-familiar scent of ancient leather and sandalwood infiltrating your senses.
“I know you’re here,” you murmured cautiously before Loki peeked out from behind the curtain, flashing his signature grin.
“Darling, I– ”
“You shouldn’t be in here, Loki,” you interrupted, but your words lacked conviction. Despite your frustration, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief at the presence of the tenacious god before you.
He huffed, but his expression softened as he moved closer. “Your concern is admirable, dove, but I assure you, there is nothing in this realm that could keep me apart from you. Especially right now.”
You bristled at the thought of him putting himself at risk by sneaking into the isolation ward, but a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. His warmth was a stark contrast to the sterile environment, and you leaned into him, soaking up his comforting embrace.
Loki brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his brows slanting upward as he peered into your eyes. “Certainly, you realize I couldn’t just stay away,” he said, voice laced with concern as he moved his hand to gently cup your cheek. “I needed to see you, to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” you replied stubbornly. But of course Loki knew you were lying.
His thumb traced along your cheekbone, his touch feather-light. “You don’t have to be brave around me,” he said tenderly. “And you don’t have to face this alone. I am here for you, my love. Always.”
“Forever.” His words set your heart ablaze, unlocking something deep within you – a sense of devotion you hadn’t ever believed possible. Loki had always been there for you, and his unwavering adoration was something you had come to rely on. But hearing him say it out loud, in this moment of vulnerability, was like a spark igniting a flame that had been smoldering for years. It was a feeling that transcended words and logic, something that pulsed through your veins and set every nerve ending alight.
Forever. The word echoed in your mind, reverberating like the peal of a bell. It was a promise, a vow, an unbreakable bond that would endure through the ages. As you looked up into his eyes, he gazed back at you with such reverence and tenderness that your heart skipped a beat.
You had been so focused on trying to be strong, trying to handle everything on your own, that you had almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone there for you. Not just someone – Loki.
His fingers traced along your jaw, and you felt a sense of calm wash over you. His touch was a balm for your soul, easing the pain and worry that had been gnawing at you since your exposure.
“I know,” you whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes.
Loki shifted, bowing forward until his forehead was touching yours. “And no matter what happens, no matter where this life takes us, I will never leave your side,” he continued, his voice low and steady.
In that moment, a warmth washed over you, like he was pouring all his love for you into your very soul, filling you with a sense of solace that you had never experienced before.
“I love you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you ran your hand up his leather-clad chest.
Loki tilted your chin upward with one elegant finger, leaning in close so his nose gently nuzzled against yours. “And I love you,” he murmured before wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. “Never doubt that.”
You clung to him, the world around you fading away. It was just the two of you now, and you knew you would handle whatever came your way. Together.
tagging a few pals: @currish-rosewolfe @lunarnights95 @muddyorbsblr @joyful-enchantress @give-me-a-moose @ladyofthestayingpower @smolvenger @lokisgoodgirl @simplyholl @holdmytesseract @use-your-telescope @coldnique @liminalpebble
Author’s note: Another one based on a request :) This is something I relate to a lot, I always feel on edge and unsafe and force myself to stay productive. Maybe this will resonate with someone else too. Happy weekend everyone <3
You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong. All you knew was that there was an iron grip around your heart, suffocating you and filling you to the brim with an impending sense of doom, making you certain that something bad was going to happen. Again. It seemed, in fact, that only bad things happened to you. Why would this seemingly ordinary Friday be any different? One could argue you had been getting too comfortable as of late, letting your guard down, making you susceptible to any threats awaiting around the corner for just the right moment.
What those threats would be, you had no idea. All you had was a sickening gut feeling and the relentless inability to relax even in your own home.
As soon as you slowed down, the thoughts came rushing in. So, you figured, the solution was simply keeping as busy as you could. You first made a mission out of changing your and Frank’s bedsheets, and it was right in the middle of that menial task that he found you, leaning against the doorway to watch you.
”Need some help with that?” he asked gruffly, observing your fast-paced movements with an arched eyebrow.
You reacted quickly enough to alert him. ”No”, you spoke sharply, before realizing the venom in your tone and reeling it in. ”Sorry. I’m feeling a little off. But I’ve got this, baby, thank you”, you insisted with a weak smile, and nodding slowly, Frank stayed silent but took his time before he left you. You were clearly on high alert, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out — the thing that Frank couldn’t put his finger on, though, was what had triggered you.
After the bedsheets, it was arranging the kitchen cabinets. After that, folding the laundry into color-coded piles, then clearing the photo album on your phone. Whatever it took to avoid sitting alone with your thoughts and the nauseating feeling of just something being off, something being wrong. Relaxing wasn’t an option, and Frank sensed as much. He could count on one hand the times you had declined cuddling with him on the couch with a movie in the background, and yet, here you were.
It was when you aired out the idea of cleaning the toilet that Frank took your hand, stopping on your tracks. You turned over to him with a confused look, and he met it with a worried one, gently tugging you to sit down on the couch with him.
”What’s wrong, sweetheart? Can tell somethin’s up. Y’know ’m here for you, yeah?” Frank pleaded, tilting his head low so he could meet your eye, while his thumb gently caressed the back of your hand. He didn’t want to push too hard and risk you withdrawing even more, but when tears began welling up in your eyes and your bottom lip trembled involuntarily, he figured he had applied just the right amount of pressure.
”I don’t know”, you whispered with a sniffle and dropped your face against your palm. ”I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just feel wrong”, you managed before a sob rose from your throat, and shushing you softly, Frank scooted closer to you so he could wipe your hair away from your face.
”Hey, hey, you listen to me, there ain’t a thing wrong with you, aight?” he spoke sternly, not taking any arguments about it. ”You’re a goddamn treasure, sweetheart. I wouldn’t change anythin’ about you, got that?” he continued, and his words only making you cry harder, you leaned into his chest.
He couldn’t deny, he was feeling just a little useless, sitting there with you half in his arms. ”What do ya need, baby? Tell me. Anythin’ you want, you got it”, Frank promised, dead-serious about every single word.
You were at a loss for words for a moment, but eventually the emotion just bubbled up your chest, up your throat and out of your mouth in a sob. ”I just want to be comforted, please. I just… I need you to comfort me”, you pleaded, and shushing softly, Frank nodded while pulling you into a renewed hug.
”Okay, okay, baby. I’m right here. It’s gonna be alright, I promise. Everythin’s gonna be just fine. I’mma make sure of it”, he swore under his breath, caressing your hair while firmly holding your trembling body, making sure he was a stable constant that you could rely on.
”I know it feels bad right now, I know, sweet girl. But I promise, everythin’ is gonna work out. I’ll be right here to stand by you every step of the way. You don’t gotta do anythin’ alone”, Frank continued reassuring you, his big hands gentle as they ran down your hair and across your back.
You managed to stop crying, your breathing heavy as you leaned into him. ”I can’t describe it, I just—I feel like something bad is in the air. Like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I don’t know where it’s coming from”, you explained weakly, and smiling sadly, Frank nodded.
”I know exactly where it’s coming from. And it ain’t your fault. Sometimes… sometimes your head just pulls frustrating shit like this on you, but you haven’t done a thing wrong”, he reminded, gently tapping at your temple.
You took in a deep breath and nodded. You remained silent, unsure what to say, feeling like everything you spoke out loud made no sense — but to Frank, it did. He knew what it was like to have a suffering mind, one that was struggling to stay afloat and clung onto the littlest thing to keep itself so.
And that was why he didn’t hesitate to offer some help.
”Hey, lemme distract you, huh? We can take a walk and you can focus on holding my hand and breathing in the fresh air. Maybe a change of scenery would do you some good, hm?” he proposed, his eyes meeting yours as he offered a careful smile. Something about the sight comforted you enough to break into a similar expression, and agreeing to his plan, you bowed your head in a nod.
”That’s my girl”, Frank praised with a grin before leaning in to kiss your forehead. ”We’re gonna kick those thoughts away together, I promise.”
Frank Castle, an army of one, with all of the burdens that came with it.
It was heavy around his shoulders, a bloody cape he could never take off, and yet you just crawled right under it with him, sheltering from this storm together.
Every time he touched you he felt the dark red retribution dripping from his hands and staining your skin. Not something that would wash off so easily.
His heart had healed from his past with crooked, raw stitches, but you had somehow got right in there, softened them, and opened it back up. Yes, the scars would remain, but now it just might heal a little better than before.
Your own heart was rent open with every ragged wound he returned with, constricting with the constant dread that one day he'd just never reappear at your door. That maybe one night, when he falls, exhausted and broken into your embrace, it would be for the last time and you wouldn't even know.
You knew his grief, his hurt. You'd visited their graves with him once, Maria and the kids, but you couldn't possibly fathom the vastness, the endless breadth of it. Your love may have only now taken up a small corner of that dark void, but every time he was with you, it would grow a little more, the warm light of it would shine a little brighter.
Frank-
It was the touch of your hands coming gently to cradle his face that brought him back to the present, his eyes refocusing, finally finding yours and not just looking beyond you into a future that he might be afraid to let play out.
"Frankie…"
"Yeah. Yeah..." His voice seems so small.
You're looking straight at him but there's no concern or expectation in your expression for him to explain where he went, whether it was in his own head or elsewhere. You gave him exactly what he needed so willingly, always so fucking patient. He knew he didn't deserve you. Or maybe he did. You were someone that was willing to guide him through the repair, someone that he'd actually trust with that monster of a battle. And yeah, it was hard in the beginning when he could feel his caged up emotions waiting and wanting to be released, but he was still stubbornly clutching onto the key. Maybe he could do it alone, it would be safer where you were concerned, but was that what he really wanted?
He rests his forehead against yours, hands reaching to take yours in his and clasp them on his lap as you kneel in front of him. He swallows and takes a deep inhale.
"Y'should get out of this while you still can." He says, quiet.
"Oh it's much too late for that baby." You respond, squeezing his hands gently as you run your thumbs over his bruised knuckles.
"Too late huh?"
You smile and there's that warm glow again.
"Yeah. M'in love with you. No going back now."
"Damn…" He chuckles breathily, pressing into you. He raises your hands to his lips and kisses your fingers softly, over and over.
"Well you know you got your work cut out with me, don't ya?" He warns as he pulls back and you let out a huff of breath.
Those dark eyes are so often stony and hard, but they soften as you don't even seem to think twice about what it means to be with the kind of man he is.
"I know I do. So are you gonna let me try?"
He dips his head, but he can't hide the smile pulling up the corners of his mouth.
summary: frank castle never imagined he would ever fall in love again, and he certainly never imagined love could feel like this.
warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence, mentions of sexual content (minors please dni), mentions of pregnancy, a lil angst
word count: 8.6k
a/n: the first time I heard lavender haze by taylor swift, I immediately thought of frankie. I just really want him to be happy & have a happy ending so this is me selfishly giving him that. also just a psa, if you're on dark mode this might be difficult to read unless you switch your settings as i've been informed. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!
Staring at the ceiling with you
Oh, you don’t ever say too much
And you don’t really read into
My melancholia
Frank didn’t know how you did it. You always seemed to just…know. You knew when he felt like talking. You knew when he didn’t. You knew when he wanted to listen to you talk about your day. You knew when he needed comfortable silence. You could tell when he wanted your touch, and when he needed to be left alone. You posed all of your questions meticulously with caution, always stopping an inch before the invisible boundary he had created. You didn’t take offense to his brooding moods that emerged from a detour into the past. You didn’t cover your ears at the silence that echoed when he got lost in the disconsolate caverns in his mind. You didn’t flinch at the scars you could touch, or the ones you could hear in his intermittent vulnerability. You seemed to understand him in a way no one ever had before. Sometimes Frank felt like you understood him more than he even did.
He gazed down at you as your eyes stayed fixated up at the ceiling. Today had been a bad day. He couldn’t remember if he had even asked if you were home before his fist was colliding with your front door, letting out a breath of relief he hadn't even noticed he was holding until your face came into focus. Did he even say hello to you? Did he utter anything at all? He couldn’t remember. Somehow the two of you had ended up on the floor by your record player, your head resting comfortably in his lap, as Elton John’s Rocket Man flowed through the speakers. He could hear you humming faintly as your eyes drifted closed for a moment, your palm delicately stretched out towards him in case he wanted to hold it, or simply letting him know you were there if he didn’t.
Music was how the two of you communicated sometimes. It was how you tried to relate to him when your own words weren’t enough. When he was quiet like this, your choices in music were more purposeful, to either let him know you understood some of what he felt, or to try to soothe the ache with what you knew he enjoyed. Sometimes Frank feared you really could read his mind, especially in moments like these when you seemed to know exactly what he needed without a single word. Even before he knew what he needed. He hated the thought of you being able to see into the carnage that occupied his skull. Of course he knew that was fucking ridiculous. He didn’t even know if you knew what you could do, and if you were aware, you never showed it.
Frank hadn’t had someone to run to in a long time. Someone he didn’t feel like a burden to in doing so. It had taken him longer than he’d like to admit to be comfortably exposed with you. Slowly but surely, he tore his own guard down brick by brick as you waited patiently. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to be a liability for you, he was also nervous about just how much of himself he could reveal without running you off. Frank had managed to find you during yet another really low point in his life; a glimmer of light through all the darkness. He still remembers the day he met you in that bookstore. He often replays that memory in his head like an old comforting home movie.
You had complimented his choice in literature as he held a worn copy of The Great Gatsby in his hands, disclosing to him that it was one of your favorites. Frank was instantly captivated by you and your sweet smile. For a good ten minutes you stood there with him, discussing books you had both read, and recommending a few of your other favorites to him that you thought he would like based on his previous reads. It made him feel so…human. There was a warmth about you that made him shiver.
To this day, Frank still doesn’t know where he found the courage to ask you to coffee, and he still has absolutely no idea why you said yes. All he knew was that he loved you, and that seemed to be enough.
I’ve been under scrutiny
You handle it beautifully
All this shit is new to me
When news broke that the Punisher was back in New York, the media had a fucking field day. Frank knew he was at fault. He had been a little too reckless and not bothered to check for cameras at the warehouse. Madani was pissed. She was giving him an earful over the phone. She wasn’t on speaker, but Frank knew you could hear every word she was saying from your spot on the couch. Every news channel seemed to be debating on the alternating justifications on why Frank was a necessary anti-hero, or why he was a psychopathic murderer. After about three minutes, you simply just shut off the tv.
Frank wasn’t even hardly paying attention to Madani’s words. Hell he didn’t even fucking care what they were saying about him on the news. If he valued public opinion, he wouldn’t be who he was. His eyes kept glancing over at you. There was a neutral look on your face, but Frank wasn’t sure if that was for your sake or his. He desperately wanted to know what was going on in your head. He didn’t know what to say. You knew who Frank was when you met, and you had never given any indication that who he really was bothered you, but that did nothing to dull the anxiety throbbing in his veins.
This was all completely unchartered territory for him, and he was absolutely lost. He had never talked to Maria about the horrors he endured and committed during his tours. Frank had vowed to keep that part of his life separate from his family when he came home. But Maria had the luxury of his anonymity. You didn’t. You didn’t have the privilege of a soldier just following orders. The evidence of his brutality was plastered everywhere for you to see. It was no longer something unspoken the two of you pretended wasn’t lurking in the shadows. It was glaring you right in the face. Frank didn’t know how you would react, and if he was being honest with himself, he was fucking scared. He didn’t want to lose the one good thing he had found that made life worth living again. He didn’t want to lose you.
Frank cut Madani’s rampage off with the pad of his thumb, placed his phone on silent, and set it face down on the counter. He would deal with that later. This was more important.
“You were never s’posed to see any of this.”
Your head perked up when his gruff voice cut through the silence. There was a tender expression in your eyes, and your lips had pulled into a sympathetic smile.
“I know. Flaunting isn’t really your style. I’m sure this will all blow over in a couple days. Dinah will calm down eventually. It’s all going to be okay, Frank.”
The conviction in your voice had a lump forming in Frank’s throat. Despite everything, here you were trying to comfort him. Frank didn’t know what to do other than settle on his knees in front of you on the floor, head nestled against your stomach as his arms wrapped tightly around your body in silent begging.
“I’m so sorry ‘bout all this, sweetheart. I didn’t…I never wanted any of this shit to come back to you.”
“Frank, you have never lied to me about who you are, and I have never pretended to not know.”
“Doesn’t mean I ever wanted you to see this side of me. I could handle you knowin’. That’s one thing. But seein’…what I do…I don’t want you to change your mind…”
Frank’s voice trailed off. He couldn’t finish that sentence. He closed his eyes as he felt your fingers carding through his hair.
“Hey, look at me.”
Frank couldn’t. He was afraid of what he would see. The disgust at his actions, the regret in your choices, the recant of your affection. It wasn’t someone else’s bullets ripping away his happiness this time. It was his own. There would be no one else to blame for this. No one else’s blood would satiate this desperate vengeance. He would have to live with his own wrath and guilt. After a moment of silence, you gently cupped his strong jaw and lifted his chin to meet your warm gaze. Frank reluctantly met your eyes, but he didn’t find the repulsion he expected. All he found was acceptance.
“I love you, Frank Castle. I know exactly who you are. I don’t need anyone else to tell me. You are the man that makes me feel safe. You are the man who makes me feel special and loved. You are the man that risks his life over and over again to protect people. You are the man that brings me daisies when you know I’ve had a bad day. You are the man that twirls me around the kitchen when we’re cooking dinner together. I know you, and I love you. Every side of you. There is nothing you, or anyone else, could ever do or say that would change the way I see you, or the way I feel about you. I promise.”
Not even Frank’s own self inflicted loathing and contempt could combat your verity. He could hear the unrelenting sincerity dripping from your words as your lips brushed past his ear. He could see the genuine devotion reflected in your eyes when he held your gaze from underneath him. He could feel the profound adoration in the gentleness of your touch, holding his face in your hands as his hips found refuge between yours. He could taste the ardent desire on your lips over and over as he made love to you right there. He could even smell the sentiment of a silent promise made from the intermingling of both of your climaxes lingering in the aftermath of his display of gratitude.
Frank didn’t know what the future held for a man like him that had ventured through hell and back several times over and cheated death more times than he could count. But he had a second chance at life, and he wasn’t going to waste it. Not when he had found you. He already felt like he won the goddamn jackpot when you agreed to that first date, and he wasn’t sure how much luck he had left to really make this work. But as long as you wanted him around, he’d be damned if he wouldn’t find a way.
I feel a lavender haze creeping up on me
So real, I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say
No deal, the 1950s shit they want for me
I just wanna stay in that lavender haze
When was the last time he had felt this happy? This…light? Frank couldn’t remember. It had to have been during the early years of being married to Maria, before he started getting deeper into classified ops that held more and more pieces of him hostage with every completed mission. Before he started to feel anxious about going home because he wasn’t sure who he was there. Before he started preferring being covered in blood dodging bullets with his unit than being around his own kids.
All of that felt like another lifetime ago. Frank supposed it was, in a way. It was all a little hazy in the back of his mind sometimes. Whether that was from the tequila you had talked him into or the way your hips were swaying to the song filling the small space of the dive bar you two had become regulars at, he wasn’t sure. Could’ve been a bit of both. But as he watched you move from across the room, a playful grin on your lips as you beckoned him over with your index finger, everything else seemed to fade away.
God, you could dance. Frank was mesmerized the first time he saw the way you could move your hips. He had thoroughly enjoyed watching you from his seat at the bar, but that was nothing compared to watching you from below that night. Frank was drawn to you like a magnet, his feet moving before his brain even caught up. He grinned when you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a dizzying kiss. Frank wrapped his arms around your waist as tightly as he could, sneaking one of his large hands up the back of your shirt to feel the warmth of the soft skin on your lower back. His hands found their way to your hips of their own accord, like they always did.
“Hey, big guy.”
“Hi darlin’.”
“You weren’t gonna come dance with me?”
“Just enjoyin’ the view, sweetheart. You know I like to watch.”
Frank reveled in the way your cheeks burned a deeper shade of red, doe eyes widening and lips parting slightly in surprise. You quickly recovered, a knowing smirk taking over your mouth as you pressed your chest against his.
“Well if you wanted a private show, all you had to do was ask.”
“That right?”
Frank dipped his head to brush his nose along the underside of your jaw, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin just below your ear before nipping at it just hard enough to earn a sharp gasp from you. He let one of his large hands trail down your lower back, giving your ass a playful smack before grabbing a handful of it and squeezing gently.
“Alright then, pretty girl. Let’s get outta here.”
There weren’t always nights like this where the two of you got to go out freely and just be a regular couple. But on the occasions where you did get a little normalcy, Frank wanted it to last forever. He didn’t even want to go to sleep those nights. He just wanted to stay in the moment with you, and milk it for all it was worth. The rare moments when he wasn’t The Punisher. He wasn’t the Marine. He wasn’t a widower that had fatherhood ripped away from him. He wasn’t weighed down by the weight of the world and another lifetime of trauma and loss.
He was just Frank, and he was just yours.
All they keep asking me
Is if I’m gonna be your bride
The only kind of girl they see
Is a one night or a wife
Curt and David had both been giving Frank hell about you. They continuously kept asking him when he was gonna “lock that shit down”. The first time he had brought you around them, they were both absolutely stunned that Frank had landed someone like you. Curt had jokingly offered to give you a head exam, and David had repeatedly asked how much Frank was paying you to pretend to be his girlfriend.
“No seriously, I lived with this asshole for several months. There’s no fucking way he landed someone like you, unless he’s paying you. Granted…he did try to steal my wife once, but that was under the guise of alcohol and desperation on her part. Is that it Frank? You just keep her drunk so she doesn’t fully see your face or recognize how much of a dick you are?”
“Oh for fucks sake Lieberman, for the last goddamn time I didn’t-sweetheart you know what, just ignore him. We all do anyway.”
“What I think D is tryin’ to say is that we think it’s great you’re so involved in charity. I mean, you’re doin’ a real public service here. We appreciate your sacrifice, truly. I ain’t seen this man smile this much in…years.”
“This is why I can’t fuckin’ take y’all anywhere, Jesus Christ.”
Despite the teasing, you had fit in effortlessly with them. Anyone passing by the table would’ve thought you had all been friends for years. There was no awkwardness or hesitation to acclimate, you had even dished back your own playful banter throughout the evening earning you eyebrows raised in surprise and prideful smirks from Frank.
“Y’all keep fuckin’ with my girl, and I ain’t gonna hold her back. She ain’t always as nice as she looks. Hell, she hits harder than both of y’all combined. Trust me.”
Curt and David both adored you, not only because of how good you were for Frank, but also because they really genuinely liked you. As the months added up to a year, they both kept pressuring Frank to take the next step in your relationship. Once they had figured out you weren’t just a fling, and that Frank had truly fallen in love with you, neither one of them could wrap their head around why he wouldn’t want to make it official. Curt knew Frank would always love Maria, and that there would never be any replacing her. But he also knew that there would never be another you. You were Frank’s second shot. There wouldn’t be a third. There wasn’t room in his heart for a third.
Frank wasn’t an idiot. He knew you were way out of his league. Not only were you absolutely way too good for him, he also thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He noticed all the eyes on you everytime the two of you went somewhere. He didn’t miss the utter confusion written evidently on guy’s faces when you reached for his hand to intertwine your fingers together or pressed a kiss to his lips with a huge grin. He resisted the urge to stalk over and snap something out of place when their disrespectful stares lasted a little too long for his liking. But you never noticed any of it. Because every time Frank brought his gaze back to you, your eyes were already on him. They were always on him.
It wasn’t that Frank didn’t see a future with you. When he thought about what the rest of his life looked like, you were always there. He loved you entirely. He just wasn’t sure if he could be a husband again. Frank had proposed to Maria three months into their relationship because she was pregnant, and it was the right decision. Not to say that they would’ve never gotten married had she not been pregnant, but everything had happened so fast. Frank became a husband and a father almost overnight. He didn’t regret a second of his marriage with Maria, but he didn’t want to repeat it. He wanted to take his time with you. Frank wanted to savor every moment with you, just as you were. No pressure, no expectations, just you and him.
You were the first person Frank had ever met that didn’t ask him to be someone else. You didn’t ask him to hide the parts of himself that were scary. You didn’t try to tame the aspects of his life that were tumultuous. You didn’t try to redirect his daunting choices. You didn’t try to pull him in a million different directions and expect him to be someone he wasn’t. You let him be exactly who he was, and loved him all the same. Frank didn’t need a piece of paper to know how much you loved him, or that you were his. You proved that to him every single day.
I find it dizzying
They’re bringing up my history
But you aren’t even listening
Madani was on a rampage. Frank hadn’t tied things up as neatly as she had wanted, and arguably had left a bit of a mess, and she was furious. Enough to show up at his front door with Mahoney ten minutes shy of five in the morning with more rage than a person should ever have that early. Since you and Frank had recently moved in together, they were also at your front door, and Frank knew that once you were awake there was no going back to sleep for you. Pushing his own annoyance to the side, Frank apologized profusely, but you simply shrugged it off and went to the kitchen to make coffee for the four of you.
She wanted Frank to go back in and finish the job, this time wrapping everything up neatly with a bow. No loose ends. No mess. But to Frank, it wasn’t worth the risk. The previous case had taken months of prep work and careful planning. The target was high profile, with even more high profile friends, and was someone the U.S. government was not technically supposed to be going after. Madani had given Frank very strict instructions, all of which he did his best to follow, but there were unforeseen complications he had to improvise with.
“It ain’t worth the risk, Madani. They know someone’s gunnin’ for ‘em now. It ain’t gonna be as easy to catch ‘em off guard again. The security this guy has now could put the fuckin’ secret service to shame.”
“I can’t just let him go, Castle. If this guy goes underground, that’s it. We won’t have another chance. This has to happen now.”
“I get that Dinah, alright I do. But there ain’t enough time to put somethin’ together that’s gonna work. We don’t even have-”
“Oh bullshit! That’s complete bullshit Frank, and you know it. If this guy had kidnapped Karen Page, you’d be there in a heartbeat and he’d be dead by now. You have no problem running straight into the fire when your own selfish interests are at risk but not when I fucking need you to.”
Frank’s jaw tensed at the mention of Karen and his eyes immediately diverted to you. You were finally making your own cup of coffee after bringing three to the table for them. If you had reacted to her name at all, Frank didn’t see it. He had mentioned Karen briefly to you once a few months ago, and how she had helped him find David. You knew she was present for his trial and had read the articles she had written about him. You knew there was a history there. Frank hadn’t really detailed exactly what that history was or meant. He had simply said she was someone he cared about and left it at that. You never asked about it again.
Mahoney seemed to follow Frank’s gaze over towards where you were leaning against the kitchen counter. His eyes lingered on Frank for a moment before he faced Madani and cleared his throat.
“I think the point you’re missing Madani is he has no trouble doing that when it comes to certain people. If that person isn’t in danger, he’s not gonna roll up guns blazing to a suicide mission.”
“Since when the hell are you on his side, Mahoney? You need this done as badly as I do.”
“I do. But we need to be smart about this, and you need to consider all the stakes that are involved, and who those consequences fall on.”
Brett motioned his head subtly in your direction, and for the first time since shoving her way in completely blinded by anger, Dinah noticed your presence. Her wrath seemed to dissipate a little as she glanced between you and Frank, detecting the somewhat pleading look in his eyes. Halting her pacing, she finally took a seat at the dining table and let out a deep exhale of understanding.
“Alright. How do we do this Frank? What’s the smartest way, what do you need from me?”
“Patience, for starters.”
“Now Frank, you know better than to taunt an angry woman that’s got a full clip without a bulletproof vest.”
Walking by to place a kiss to Frank’s head, you shot Dinah a wink and lightly squeezed Brett’s shoulder on your way back into the bedroom. Dinah looked over at Frank in amusement, a smirk completely taking over her mouth as she brought the steaming mug to her lips.
“For the record, I like her better than you.”
“Glad we’re all in agreement then. Cause I like her a hell of a lot more than you two put together.”
After Madani and Mahoney had left, Frank made his way into your shared bedroom and leaned against the doorway to the bathroom as he watched you get ready for work.
“Shoulda warned you movin’ in with me meant house calls from Madani at ungodly hours.”
“Nothing I wasn’t prepared for.”
The smile you sent Frank’s reflection in the mirror nearly made him weak in the goddamn knees.
“Can I take ya to breakfast?”
“I’d love that. I’m almost done.”
Frank watched you silently for a moment, mesmerized by all your little movements. He liked to watch you when you weren’t paying attention, when you thought no one was paying attention to you. He loved the way your nose crinkled adorably when you got embarrassed or confused, the cute little pout that formed on your lips when something wasn’t right or working, how you were always humming something when you were lost in thought. Frank pulled you into his embrace the second you turned around, brushing his thumb lightly over your cheekbone.
“I really am sorry ‘bout this mornin’. Not just, ya’know, Madani flyin’ in like a bat outta hell. What she said ‘bout Karen-”
“I know, Frank. It’s okay. She’s right, though. If Karen was involved, you wouldn’t hesitate.”
“I wouldn’t hesitate for you either.”
A shy smile took over your lips as you leaned into Frank’s embrace, gently wrapping your small hand around his wrist.
“I know that, Frank. I know you’d do it for me too. And Curtis, and David, and even Dinah and Brett. And before you even start your protest, don’t bother. Because you’ve already done it for everyone on the list. Some of them, several times.”
“Not you, though. And I hope to God it never comes to that. But if it ever does-”
“You’re wrong.”
Frank cocked his head slightly to the side, peering down at you with brows knit in confusion.
“What?”
“You’re wrong. You have done it for me.”
“When?”
“Everyday. You save me, every single day, and you have since that day in the bookstore.”
Frank stared down at you incredulously, shaking his head slowly to himself. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around you and leaned in to press his forehead against yours.
“You keep talkin’ like that, I’m gonna take you to bed instead of breakfast.”
“Why not both?”
I feel a lavender haze creeping up on me
So real, I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say
No deal, the 1950s shit they want for me
I just wanna stay in that lavender haze
When Frank had asked you what you wanted for your birthday, your answer was simple. Him. Frank argued that you had to let him get you a birthday present after you had gone all out for him, so you compromised. Time. That’s all you asked for. Just you and him, no distractions, no responsibilities, no work, no interruptions. Frank hadn’t hardly been home the past two months, and you had been putting in a few late nights of your own even when he was. Every night he was away from you made Frank wonder how the hell he ever managed to go eighteen months without Maria.
Two weeks before your birthday, Frank told you to request a few days off and pack a bag. He wouldn’t tell you why, just said to pack comfortably for cold weather. You didn’t even bother trying to get a hint out of him. The man had been trained for torture, he wasn’t going to give into your incessant childish begging when he was so committed to his surprise. He was still tight lipped as you both loaded his truck down and took off on a three hour drive upstate. When he turned off onto a winding dirt road and caught your puzzled expression, he couldn’t help but chuckle. It wasn’t until the cozy cabin finally came into view that a gasp left your mouth. Your head snapped towards him with wide eyes as he put the truck in park.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
“You got me a cabin?”
Frank threw his head back and howled with laughter, reaching over to grab onto your thigh and squeeze gently as an ear splitting grin covered his mouth.
“Well hell, if I had known you wanted one, I woulda got you one. But since someone didn’t wanna give me any ideas, I had to get creative. This is all ours for the next few days. Ain’t no one around for miles. And the best part? No cell service.”
Even though there were tears in your eyes from how thoughtful Frank’s gift to you was, it didn’t stop you from climbing onto his lap and clawing at his belt with eager hands. Frank didn’t even pretend to put up a fight. It was your birthday after all. He’d give you whatever you wanted. And if you wanted to ride him in the front seat of his truck, well then it felt like his birthday too. You and Frank nearly christened every spot in that cabin in less than 24 hours. Frank fucked you in the large plush bed in the bedroom, the hot tub, on the kitchen counter, in front of the fireplace, on the dining table, in the shower, the couch, and even against a tree when you went for a walk together in the woods.
For three days it was absolute uninterrupted bliss, and Frank had never been happier. You both took turns cooking meals, even though Frank was adamant about doing most of the cooking since it was your birthday trip. He dazzled you with his baking skills when he handcrafted a red velvet birthday cake with cream cheese frosting; your favorite. You both found a beautiful trail that had a breathtaking view of a lake and had a picnic there. Frank slow danced with you around the living room with only the glow of the fire and moon to illuminate the space. It felt like a dream neither of you wanted to wake up from.
After spending nearly an hour with his head buried between your thighs and another with his hips pressed firmly to yours, Frank held you delicately against his chest. His thick fingers ran loosely throughout your hair, lightly scratching at your scalp how he knew you liked. He watched as your fingertips carefully traced scars and indentations along his chest and abdomen. Sometimes when you laid like this, you asked him the story behind each one. But tonight, you were unusually quiet. Frank lightly nudged his nose against your temple.
“What’s goin’ on up there?”
“I don’t wanna go home.”
Your voice was small and fragile, like a shattered piece of glass that hadn’t yet fallen to pieces. Frank had almost forgotten that tonight was your last night here. He had been trying to make you forget too.
“Me neither, sweetheart. We can always come back.”
You hummed quietly in response, tracing invisible words above Frank’s heart that he couldn’t quite decipher. He placed his index finger under your jaw and lightly grasped your chin to tilt your head back.
“That it?”
Frank could see the hesitation in the depths of your eyes. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, something you always did when you were contemplating your words carefully. For a second, Frank was worried he might have done something wrong, or not done something he should have.
“We can go somewhere nice for you birthday when we get back if you wanted-”
“No, no Frank that’s not it. This…this has been the most perfect and special birthday I’ve ever had. It’s the first time I’ve even enjoyed celebrating my birthday since I was a kid. I guess I’m just…feeling selfish.”
“Selfish? You’re allowed to be selfish on your birthday, darlin’. That’s kinda the whole point, ain’t it?”
“My birthday was three days ago.”
“So?”
The tiniest of smiles tugged at the corner of your mouth as you shook your head slowly. Frank watched as your gaze dropped back down to where your fingertips were still writing invisible words.
“C’mon baby, talk to me. Feelin’ selfish how?”
“I just…don’t wanna go home. I like this. I like having you all to myself. I like being here with you, doing all these things together, feeling like I’m your…just…it’s nice.”
“My what?”
Frank dipped his head slightly to meet your gaze, but he couldn’t catch it. Whatever you wanted to say, you were guarding it.
“Your…main priority.”
Priority wasn’t the word you wanted to use. Frank knew it as soon as the words left your mouth. You couldn’t lie to save your life. He knew there was something else you wanted to say, but he couldn’t figure out what. Neither of you kept things from the other, and he couldn’t understand why you were doing that right now. He gently grabbed your neck and held your face with his fingers, searching your eyes for any kind of clue. They were shimmering with a translucent layer of sadness, but he couldn’t tell what from.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
“I know. I love you, Frank.”
“You are my main priority, baby. I want you to know that. I know I been gone a lot lately, and I’m sorry ‘bout that, but you do come first. You need me, you call me. I don’t care where I am, what time it is, or how small you may think it is. You need me, you call me, and I’m there. No questions asked. You got that?”
Nodding slowly, you closed your eyes for a moment as a tear slipped past your lashes. Frank brought his thumb up to catch it before it could descend down your cheek, holding you even tighter against his chest.
“I’m sorry-”
“Don’t be. S’alright, honey.”
“I just miss you when you’re gone, Frank. So much. I worry about you all the time. I get scared that everytime I hear your voice on the phone might be the last…or what I would do if you didn’t come home-”
“Hey, look at me. I will always come home to you. I promise. You will always have me. Always. I miss you the second I step out that door, and all I can think about when I’m away is comin’ home to you. Nothin’ could ever keep me away from my favorite girl.”
Frank pressed his lips to your forehead in a soft kiss, lingering there for a moment as he held you tightly in his arms. He made another promise that night that once every couple of months you two would get away for a while. No distractions, no responsibilities, no interruptions. He made love to you two more times so that the only thing you could feel was him. He kept himself inside you as he wrapped you up in his body completely, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until you fell asleep. When the morning came, he woke you up with his head nestled between your thighs, chasing any lingering feelings of sadness away with his tongue until there was nothing left but pure gratification.
Talk your talk and go viral
I just need this love spiral
Get it off your chest
Get it off my desk
Things had been different after you and Frank got back from your trip. They were so subtle, he wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t going crazy and imagining things that weren’t there. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was, but something was different. Something was off. He could feel it.
There was a dissonance between the two of you. Frank noticed you had become a little distant, withdrawing into yourself at times. Of course he had no room to speak, he had been guilty of doing that on several occasions. He figured you might have been going through something and needed your space until you were ready to talk about it. So, he did what you always did with him. He was patient, provided reassurance of his presence both verbally and with gestures, and gave you the space you needed.
But then a month went by, and you still hadn’t said anything. He tried to be as patient as you had been with him, but it was never his virtue. It was driving him absolutely mad trying to put together this puzzle when all the pieces were locked away in your mind. Anyone else observing you wouldn’t be able to tell you were acting differently, not even the ones that knew you. But no one knew you quite like Frank. He noticed everything about you. He saw the way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes like they normally did. He heard the detachment in your voice when he asked you about your day. He hadn’t felt the warmth of your touch in a month. Every time he managed to make it home at a decent hour, you weren’t there. You had been spending more nights at work, making up excuses about a big project with a strict deadline. But Frank knew better. He knew you were avoiding him. He just couldn’t figure out why.
He replayed the entire trip in his head over and over again, searching for anything out of place that would explain your behavior. The only thing Frank could think of was your last night at the cabin when you had gotten emotional about leaving. Frank analyzed every piece of that conversation. He thought he had done everything right that night by telling you everything that you needed to hear to put your mind at ease, and making a promise to dedicate more time together. But if more time together was what you wanted, why were you pulling away?
Frank couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t be as patient as you. Something was wrong, and the uncertainty was driving him fucking crazy. He managed to easily find a way into your building, a concern he would discuss with you at a later time, and was barreling towards your office. The space was dark and quiet, seemingly empty, but he could see the light on through your window. Frank shut and locked the door as soon as he stepped through, barricading the door with his large frame. There was nowhere for you to run. The only way out was through him, and he wasn’t letting you leave until you talked to him.
“Frank? What are you-”
“What’s goin’ on?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know what. You’ve been off since we got home. Now look…I’ve tried, alright? I’ve tried to give you space until you were ready to talk about whatever the hell this is, and ya’know be patient until you were ready to come to me…but you’re not comin’ to me. You’re hidin’ from me. Why?”
“I’m not hiding from you, Frank.”
“Yes you are. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’ve been spendin’ almost every night here instead of at home with me. That’s why you keep tryin’ to lie when we both know you’re fuckin’ terrible at it. Ya’know I thought…I thought we didn’t do that. I thought we agreed ya’know, no secrets. No lies. So…what is it?”
The silence in the room was deafening and nearly drowned out the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. For the first time in a very long time, Frank was fucking terrified. He had no idea what was going on with you. He had no idea what he had done wrong. He didn’t like the way your face twisted up in remorse and confusion. He hated that you wouldn’t look at him. He would’ve rather faced down the barrel of a loaded gun than whatever the fuck was about to happen right now. Frank took a step forward, his eyes darting back and forth fervently as he searched your face for something, anything. His voice was gentle and laced with pure vulnerability as he pleaded with you.
“Please just…please just talk to me. Please, sweetheart. Just…tell me what’s goin’ on. I can’t…I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what the problem is. Please tell me.”
Frank watched closely as you rubbed your palms slowly down your face, looking anywhere but at him as you glanced around your office. You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, and Frank’s fingers twitched at his sides in anxious anticipation.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Frank.”
Your words caught him completely off guard, and he blinked a few times as confusion settled between his dark brows.
“What?”
Crossing your arms over your chest, you finally lifted your head to meet Frank’s unrelenting gaze. You gave a light shrug of your shoulders as a tiny melancholic smile covered your lips.
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Frank I…I know you love me. I know that, okay. But…is that it?”
Frank cocked his head to the side slightly as he stared down at you. He could see that you were waiting for an answer, but he couldn’t figure out what the hell the question was.
“I’m not followin’, sweetheart. Is what it?”
“Is that all there is? I mean am I…am I it? Because you are Frank. You are it for me. I know what I want from you, but I have no idea if you want it too, or if you even want it at all. I don’t know what you want.”
“Sweetheart, what I want is you. Is that not clear?”
“Yeah but for how long, Frank?”
Frank stared at you silently, feeling completely lost within your riddle. He was trying his hardest to follow along, but a piece of the puzzle was still missing. You were still holding something back. He wasn’t sure if it was the same piece you withheld that last night at the cabin, but it was preventing him from being able to see the whole picture.
“What do you want?”
“Frank-”
“Say it. Whatever it is you been too scared to say, just say it. I’m not gonna understand until you tell me, so just get it off your chest.”
Hesitation flashed across your face, and he could practically feel the uneasiness radiating off of you. Frank watched as you caught your bottom lip between your teeth and took a few steps forward to gently pry it away with his thumb. He reached out to take one of your small hands in his, brushing his thumb lightly over the back of your knuckles before giving it a delicate reassuring squeeze.
“Talk to me.”
“I want a future, Frank. I want a future with you. I want everything with you.”
“You don’t think I want that?”
“I don’t know, Frank. You’ve never mentioned it, we’ve never talked about it. I don’t know what you really want. I know that I love you, and I want to be with you. Always. You’re it for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want a life together. I want…a family. Our family. I just…I don’t know if you want any of those things.”
It was your turn to be nervous as Frank stared down at you silently while processing your words. Once everything clicked in his brain, he felt like a fucking idiot. He had told everyone that he wanted a future with you. Everyone except you, apparently. He hadn’t told you that whenever he thought about his future, you were at the center of it. He hadn’t told you that you were it for him too. He hadn’t explained why he never mentioned marriage or starting a family to you. Hell, he hadn’t even stopped to consider if those were things you even wanted. Not once in the past year and a half had he bothered to ask.
You had tried to subtly give him a hint that last night at the cabin. Frank had a sudden epiphany as your words echoed in his head. I like being here with you, doing all these things together, feeling like I’m your…main priority. He knew you hadn’t meant to say priority, but it wasn’t until now that he realized what you were actually trying to say.
Your wife. Your partner. Your future.
“A family?”
“Yes, Frank. A family.”
The sincerity in your voice absolved any remaining apprehensions Frank had about making it all official. He could do this again. He could do it with you. He knew you didn’t need a piece of paper either to know how much he loved you, but if it made you feel more secure in your future together, he would do it. He would do anything for you. Frank shoved everything off of your desk quickly before lifting you by your hips to set you up on top of it. His hands were in the middle of pushing your dress up your thighs when you placed your palms against his chest and laughed nervously.
“Frank, what are you doing?”
“You want a baby sweetheart? I’ll give you one. Right now.”
“Frank-”
“You just tell me what kind of ring you want. You got it.”
“Frank I…I don’t…I didn’t mean right now. We don’t have to figure this all out right now. I just…wanted to know what you wanted. If…if you wanted a future with me too. I mean…I want you to want this too. I don’t want you to do it just because it’s what I want. If you-”
Frank cupped your face in his large hands and leaned in to kiss your lips softly. He sighed in content against your mouth, nuzzling his nose against your own. He pressed his forehead to yours as he started deeply down into your eyes.
“I love you. I love wakin’ up next to you. I love that you’re the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night. I wanna spend the rest of my life lovin’ you. Ya’know after Maria…I wasn’t sure I’d ever want to do any of that again. I wasn’t sure if I could. But if that’s what you want, then I want it too. We’ll figure it out together, yeah?”
“Really?”
“When you’re ready, I’m ready. I promise.”
I feel a lavender haze creeping up on me
So real, I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say
No deal, the 1950s shit they want for me
I just wanna stay in that lavender haze
You and Frank were not a traditional couple. You never had been. There was nothing traditional or normal about your relationship, but neither one of you seemed to really care. Everything between the two of you had always happened exactly as it was supposed to. You did everything on your own terms, at your own pace, and only followed your own expectations that you two had established together. Now that you were both on the same page about your future together, you simply decided to let the rest of the pieces come together when it was their time.
Over the course of the next year, you and Frank only fell harder and more deeply in love. True to his word, Frank made sure that you two had some little getaway planned every three months. The walls of your home were filled with little snippets of your favorite memories from your trips together. There were even a few that Curt and David along with the rest of the Lieberman family had joined you on. You started your own holiday traditions of spending them with yours and Frank’s chosen family, and David’s kids were absolutely thrilled when you got Frank a puppy for Christmas last year. Frank had even let them have the honor of naming him which is how you ended up with an adorable big baby of a pit bull named Zeo, a combination of their names.
Life was so full for the two of you, it never felt like anything was missing. There were only more things you wanted to add to it. Frank eventually found himself at complete peace with the idea of becoming a husband and father again. There was no pressure of expectations or rush to catch up with anyone else. He had simply healed enough to make that choice of his own accord. Being your husband was what Frank genuinely wanted for himself. He wanted to be a complete unit with you; a team. For your three year anniversary, Frank took you back to that same cabin and proposed to you in front of the golden glow of the fireplace. A month later, you had a small intimate little ceremony at that beautiful spot by the lake you had found during your first exploration.
There was nothing traditional about it, but it was perfect. David got ordained and performed the ceremony, asking you three times if you were absolutely sure you wanted to be legally bound to Frank forever. Curt and Sarah stood by yours and Frank’s sides. Zach and Leo were the ring bearer and flower girl. You and Frank had even gotten Zeo a little bowtie for his collar. The “reception” took place at yours and Frank’s favorite diner in town. Instead of wedding cake, you two shoved apple pie in each other's faces. The celebrations continued at the bar across the street where you toasted with cheap wine and shots of tequila. Your first dance was to Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons because it was the best choice on the jukebox. That night you and Frank made love more times than you could count.
A few months later when you both decided you were ready to start a family, you left it all up to chance. You weren’t actively trying, but you also weren’t using protection. Whenever it was meant to happen, it would. Seven months later you found out you were pregnant. The grin on Frank’s face when you told him the news was composed of pure happiness. Neither of you wanted to know what you were having until the baby was born, but you picked out names that you both absolutely loved either way. Frank was present for every big and little moment of your pregnancy. All the appointments, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, feeling the first little movements and kicks. All those little things and moments he had missed both times Maria was pregnant he was now getting to experience fully with you. He was there for every second of your labor, letting you grip his hand as tightly as you needed, getting you anything you wanted, showering you in praise and encouragement when it was time to push.
Frank sobbed proudly when he held his baby girl in his arms for the first time. He was in complete awe of the beautiful creature the two of you had created together in pure love. He still questioned relentlessly what he had done so right to deserve this life; this second chance. There were still so many moments he doubted whether he was deserving of happiness. But here he was, holding his happiness in his arms. His second chance. His future. Frank wanted to stay in this moment forever.
Miss ma’am could I have an old fashion with Mr. Castle?👀
Creators choice, go wild my love <3
my fiesty little phoenix,
you can have whatever you'd like. thank you for letting me run wild with this one. I hope you enjoy. <3
headcannon below the cut
frank castle finally takes a goddamn day off
i personally think it's criminal we never got a single scene of what frank likes to do in his free time, so i'm taking it upon myself to make y'all feed into my delusions of what that would look like, because the man deserves a day of fucking peace, so let's give it to him
frank is an early riser. after years in the military, his body is just trained to wake up at a certain time, and no matter how much he wants to sleep in, he just can't
i'd like to think frank sleepily pads through his place, makes himself a strong brew of coffee, and goes outside to watch the sunrise. i think he would enjoy the peace, when it's early in the morning and everything is super still and quiet, and he just gets to exist for a little while, slowly let his body and mind wake up as he takes in the tranquil colors of the sunrise
maybe he'd make himself a nice lil breakfast. he strikes me as a bacon guy, so whatever he makes, just know there's bacon. he likes the applewood smoked thick cuts. don't ask me to explain, i can't. it's just something my soul knows
we saw that frank likes to read, so maybe he spends some of the morning working through a new book. he strikes me as someone that secretly loves murder mysteries, and mysteries in general. i'd like to think he gets really into them and really excited when he figures out the mystery before he reaches the end
"fuckin' knew it was the goddamn maid!"
frank also strikes me as a handyman, and i'd like to think he enjoys little projects. maybe he spends part of the afternoon giving his truck a tune up while listening to classic rock in the garage with a few beers (he's a classic rock guy, don't @ me. y'all saw how excited he got about those bruce springsteen tickets) maybe he's finally putting together some new furniture he got, or even building some new furniture bc he can fucking do anything. maybe he's repainting the spare bedroom bc the white walls were boring and frank's secret guilty pleasures are cooking and home makeover shows
in a perfect world, frank has a dog (it's definitely a sweet, beautiful pitbull) so maybe they go on a little walk together on a nice trail or maybe they go to the doggy park so they can play and when they come back they take a lil nap on the couch together bc it's fucking cute and they're sleepy so why the hell not
i'd also like to think that when the evening rolls around, frank goes to socialize bc the thought of him being lonely breaks my heart in ways i can't explain
maybe he goes over to the lieberman's for dinner and helps sarah cook, teaches david how to fix the sink that's broken in their guest bathroom, plays catch with zach out in the backyard, helps leo with a book report she's writing, and passes out with the kids on the couch twenty minutes into a movie they picked out
or maybe he goes out with curtis to a bar to have a few drinks, gets talked into (and drunk enough) to bust some moves out on the dance floor, giggles with curtis as they drunkenly stumble together to the closest twenty-four hour pizza joint, and ends up having a sleepover with him bc his apartment is closer and the pizza and booze made him sleepy
bonus points if curt doesn't make him take the couch and they just share his bed bc they're drunk and also brothers who cares (you're telling me all that time in the military together and there wasn't a "there's only one bed" situation? sorry, I can't suspend reality that much)
extra bonus points if he goes out with matt, karen, and foggy to josie's and is the only one that can keep up with matt in pool
"can't believe y'all let this bastard cheat you like this. this how you treat your friends, red? hustlin' 'em for free drinks? you're the worst goddamn catholic I ever met."
extra extra bonus points if foggy challenges him to a shot contest but then gets so drunk that frank has to carry him home over his shoulder and karen gets several pictures and videos and matt can't stop cackling
extra extra extra bonus points if he's having to carry matt AND foggy home drunk over his shoulder (bc he could) and karen is still being the absolute mvp getting so many pictures and videos while giggling
i just want this man to have a good fucking day that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk
Hi court honeyyy first time coming off anon im so shyyyy but i’d like to join the celebration
Can i request a margarita wirh frank Castle there is this song i love sooo much it’s called “anything by adrianne lenker” especially these lyrics i cant stop thinking about frank while listening to it..
(GOD I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THIS ITS OKAY I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE LYRICS ITS SO ADORABLEEEEEE and youre so adorable i love you you spoil us soooo muchhh Xx💋💋💋💐💐
roy my love!!!
first off, this song is so cute. thank you for coming off anon so i can smooch you through my screen. i love you & i hope you enjoy. ❤️
blurb below the cut
anything
and i don’t wanna talk about anything
Words never came easy to Frank. He could never find the right ones. They never came out the right way. Even the ones that had the correct definitions didn’t match what he felt inside. They were always something he struggled with. Anyone could say anything and make it sound pretty, or smart, or right. But for all you know, they could be talking out of their ass, using words like keys to see which one unlocks what they want.
Frank preferred to show. He trusted actions. It was how he expressed himself.
You didn’t mind that he didn’t talk a whole lot. His presence was comforting enough on its own. His consistency was confirmation enough that he wanted this too. The little things he did for you let you know he actually listened when you talked. The subtle changes or rearranges you needed out of his behavior or schedule were done as soon as you voiced them. There were a million silent ways he told you he loved you throughout the day.
And there were a million ways you told him you loved him back without ever saying a word.
Like when he came home well past the Devil’s hour, resembling a broken and jagged stained glass window, remnants of rubies, sapphires, and amethysts protruding from and stuck within his skin, and you knew solely from the absence in his eyes he wasn’t in the mood to speak. Lightly guiding him towards the confessional in the bathroom, using the simmering flow of water to wash away the sins of the night, along with the entanglement of blood that was both his and foreign. Using touches softer than an angel’s wing to carefully piece him back together and giving testaments of forgiveness with your lips to the parts of him that weren’t torn or bruised to help mend the body and mind.
When you finally got him into bed, you pulled him into the haven of your arms, holding his head to your chest to soothe him with the hymns of your heart. The weight of his body on yours was just as comforting to you as the softness of your skin was to him. The way your fingers softly brushed through his messy hair told him that you were there. The warmth of your skin on his cheek told him that he was home. The way your fingertips delicately trailed up and down his spine told him that you didn’t care what he had done tonight. The gentle kiss you pressed to his nose that had been broken one too many times told him that you still found him beautiful. The embrace you held him in tightly until morning told him that you still loved him.
And the soft kiss he placed to your chest, right over your heart, told you more than a few words ever could.
Hi baby! Congratulations on your amazing milestone! I’d like to order a margarita with Frank Castle and the song ‘cinnamon girl’ by Lana del Rey, specifically the quote: “there’s things I wanna say to you but I’ll just let you live, If you hold me without hurting me you’ll be the first who ever did”.
It’d be very self indulgent as I just got out of an extremely abusive relationship with my ex bf and i just moved to the other side of the country and I feel like frank would be so soft spoken and careful when holding me after everything I’ve been through 💗
my sweet angel,
firstly I want to say that I am so proud of you. it takes a lot of bravery and strength to do what you did, and I am so happy that you made it out of that situation. secondly, I want you to know there is nothing that you ever said or did that would warrant/excuse that kind of treatment. and finally, I want you to know that I feel very special that you trusted me with this. that means so much to me, and I hope I did you justice.
I didn't go too heavy into detail in terms of the bad things, and tried to keep it more light and fluffy for you.
please know this community is your safe space, and we are all behind you and rooting for you and supporting you. thank you again for trusting me, and I hope you enjoy my darling. huge fucking cheers to you. 🥂💗
blurb below the cut
cinnamon girl
if you hold me without hurting me, you’ll be the first who ever did
Frank Castle was a very large, intimidating man. He was tall, built like a brick wall, and it didn’t help that his features were always fixed in a broody and unapproachable expression. He could be violent and cold, speak with a wicked and harsh tongue, and tear through things in his path with his bare hands.
But he was always delicate with you. His eyes were softer, and seemed to lighten to a warmer shade of brown when he looked at you. His full lips parted into a smile when you were in his presence, and your favorite were his grins that split his mouth wide open to show off his dazzling teeth. The soft crinkles it created by his eyes and the way his eyes shrank from the rise of his cheeks past the bridge of his large nose made him look gentler, and younger even. His laughter was deep and melodic as it bellowed in his chest, echoing in your ears like a lullaby. His touch was exceptionally kind, and his tone was tender as the deep bass of his voice weaved around you like a warm blanket. He never moved too quickly into your space, and he continually asked for consent until he learned to read your nonverbal cues.
Frank made you feel safe. The safest you had ever felt. You knew that he would rather die a thousand times over than ever say an unkind word to you, or lay a hand on you in a way that was anything other than affectionate.
You knew that.
But the two of you were arguing over something trivial, and his voice had been steadily increasing in volume, and loud noises had always made you anxious, but loud and angry men always sent you into fight or flight. He wasn’t yelling, but his deep voice seemed to boom like resentful claps of thunder in the space of the living room. The amplification already had your hands trembling with subconscious fear, but it was when he threw his hands up in exasperation that you really started to spiral.
It was just a simple gesture. It wasn’t directed at you. He wasn’t even close enough to touch you, even if he stretched his arms out wide. But still, you flinched.
And suddenly it was silent.
The only thing you could hear was the sound of your own heart pounding in your chest and your breaths struggling to escape out of your lungs. You hadn’t noticed your vision had gone black until you felt the strain behind your eyelids, opening your eyes slowly until a very horrified Frank came into view. He appeared to be frozen in place, his hands still raised in midair, and when he caught your gaze on them, he immediately dropped them and took a few steps backwards.
For what felt like an eternity, the two of you just stared at each other. The confusion and terror was evident on Frank’s face, and you couldn’t imagine what your own looked like. Your mind and heart were at war on the next move. Part of you wanted to run, but you couldn’t move your feet. The other part wanted to reach out for the safety net of Frank’s arms. It was getting increasingly harder for you to breathe as you felt the familiar onset of hyperventilation, and you instantly kicked into survivor mode, repeating a mantra that came second nature to you.
“Hey…hey, you ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for. Didn’t do anythin’ wrong, sweetheart. Just breathe for me, can ya do that?”
The sting of tears warmed your lower lash line, and your face twisted up in regret and lingering fear as you stared over at Frank. The look on his face hurt worse than anything anyone else had ever done to you before.
“I’m so sorry-”
“Baby, please stop apologizin’. Please? Can I…alright if I come closer?”
Frank kept his tone gentle and his voice quiet as he looked at you in pity and concern. You quickly nodded your head as you clenched your fists tightly at your sides, reminding yourself that this was Frank. This was different. He wasn’t going to hurt you. He very slowly lifted his hands up in a sign of surrender, taking careful and languid steps towards you.
“Tell me what you need from me. What can I do to help, baby?”
“I…I don’t…I don’t know, I’m sorry-”
“Hey, s’alright. Can I touch you? That okay?”
Even though you nodded your head frantically, Frank still took his time approaching you, carefully wrapping his arms around you to pull you into the haven of his chest. You gripped onto his back, digging your nails into his skin through the material of his shirt as you cried into his chest. He pressed light kisses to the top of your head, rocking you gently in his arms and shushing you quietly.
When you finally calmed down, Frank delicately held your face in his large hand, staring down into your eyes with a storm of emotions swirling in his. He opened his mouth several times to speak, his dark brows furrowing as he struggled with where to start.
“You…don’t gotta tell me anythin’ you ain’t comfortable sharin’. But…I gotta…did you…did you really think I was gonna hit you?”
The hurt in Frank’s voice only lined your eyes with fresh tears as you gripped onto his arm tightly.
“No..no Frank, I-I just…we were arguing and…you started getting loud…and when you raised your hands-I know you wouldn’t. I know that. It just…”
Frank’s jaw clenched as he stared down at you, and his eyes darkened with unbridled rage.
“Made you think ‘bout someone that hurt you before.”
There was an edge to his voice, but it didn’t make you uncomfortable. You could tell by his features that he was absolutely pissed. There was a murderous fury burning in his eyes that would’ve sent a shiver down the spine of the person brave enough to meet his gaze, and his hands shook with pure contained wrath as he held you in his arms.
But you didn’t feel afraid. Because Frank’s anger wasn’t directed at you, it was for you.
It was such a strange and euphoric feeling, being in the presence of an angry man and not feeling fear. Knowing that those strong and capable hands of his would be used to defend you, not against you.
“It…it’s why I moved here. To get away.”
Frank squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling a sharp breath that he let out in a slow and frustrated exhale, grunting under his breath.
“Fuckin’ worthless piece of shit.”
“I…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, I just…it’s hard to talk about-”
“Hey, you ain’t gotta explain yourself to me, alright? You ain’t do nothin’ wrong. You weren’t ready to tell me, that’s all. I…I appreciate you tellin’ me now. I’m sorry I made you feel that way-”
“No, no Frank, please. You didn’t. It…it was just a reaction, okay? I know you would never hurt me. I swear.”
Frank stared down into your eyes, searching them for any sign that you weren’t telling the truth. He finally let out a soft sigh, tightening his protective hold on your waist.
“Don’t s’pose you’d give me an address of where I can find this sorry fucker?”
“Frank-”
“Ain’t gonna kill him. Just think he needs his ass beat, s’all.”
You tried to fight the smirk that tugged at your lips as you arched one of your brows and gave him a pointed look. He let out a heavy exhale as he looked away and cocked his head to the side.
“Alright, that was a lie. I would fuckin’ kill him. But the world ain’t gonna miss an asshole like that. Be doin’ it a favor.”
Letting out a soft chuckle, you brought your hands up to gently cup his face in your hands.
“I…appreciate that you would do that for me. But we’re better than that.”
“Well you may be, but I sure as hell ain’t.”
“Frank.”
“Fine. I’ll leave it alone, for now. But when you ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas, don’t be surprised if this is my answer.”
Should you be concerned that your boyfriend threatened to kill your ex on your behalf? Yes. Were you? Absolutely not. Because it was Frank.
Your Frank.
And the safest place you could ever be was with him.
Can I get a Margarita with a side of inspiration? How about this quote: 'If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.' It's kinda like that Taylor Swift line from 'Willow' - 'Show me the places where the others gave you scars.'
And if it's not too much trouble, could Mr. Murdock or Mr. Castle hook me up?
Thanks for inviting me, love! I'm delighted to have stumbled upon your account. I adore you, always <3
my darling nes!!!
thank you so much for this request. i had frankie hook you up for this one, bc i feel like this song fits him really well. i hope you enjoy! 🥂
blurb below the cut
willow
show me the places where the others gave you scars
Frank hated his scars. They were a constant, physical reminder of the hell that he had endured, and had unleashed on this world in his bloodthirsty need for vengeance. They were the evidence etched into his flesh that his nightmares weren’t just dreams, they were haunting memories. Even though the wounds had long ago healed, he still felt the phantom pain when he looked at them, as if they had been ripped open all over again.
Sometimes it felt like a lifetime ago. Sometimes it didn’t feel real at all. Sometimes, he could trick himself into forgetting any of it had happened.
Until he looked at them.
He especially hated you looking at them. You were the one semblance of peace he had found amidst the wreckage he had crafted, and he never wanted to taint you with the demons that lingered beneath the crests and carvings that marked his skin. Frank had given you the briefest of summaries about his past, but he knew that you knew more than you let on. You never asked him for any detail, wanting him to be the one to offer it if he felt comfortable, but he had shown the world what he really was a long time ago, and that proof wasn’t hard to find.
Frank only made love to you in the dark. Since he was an early riser and woke up before you, he was always dressed by the time your eyes were just starting to flutter open. He never let you see him in his most vulnerable form. Hearing and reading about what he had done was one thing. But being face to face with it, being able to authenticate it with your touch, he was scared of that. He didn’t know what you would think of him if you really saw him.
One morning as the earliest rays of dawn began to filter through the curtains, Frank awoke to a featherlight touch tracing invisible shapes and lines on his skin. It took a few moments for him to fully wake, and once his vision cleared and you came into focus, he froze. You weren’t tracing invisible shapes and patterns, you were outlining the marks on his skin. Frank began to panic, a million thoughts and worst possible case scenarios racing through his head. When he silently reached out to gently grasp onto your wrist, he finally caught your gaze.
And it broke his heart.
There was an undeniable sadness in your eyes and tugging down the corners of your lips. But he wasn’t sure exactly what it was from. Were you disgusted? Were you upset thinking about what he had done to earn these? Were you gonna leave?
Frank cleared his throat as he looked away from your unwavering stare, glancing down at the mosaic of chaos and rage that covered his body.
“I uh…know they ain’t pretty to look at.”
“They’re hard to look at.”
Frank closed his eyes hearing the evident pain in your voice. This is exactly what he had been avoiding. He felt you shift closer into his side, your soft palm gently cradling his jaw, and when he opened his eyes, he was met with a somber smile on your lips and a gentle, warm look in your eyes.
“Only because it reminds me just how much you’ve gone through…how much you’ve lost. It makes me sad for you, baby. Because I hate the thought of you being in pain like that. Not just physically. I know these are nothing compared to the ones that must be on your heart.”
Frank’s lips parted in surprise at your words, and a sight furrow formed between his dark brows.
“They don’t…you don’t hate seein’ ‘em?”
“I don’t love seeing them, but I don’t hate them. I think they’ll always make me sad to look at, but they also remind me that you’re alive. You made it through all of that, and you found your way to me. You’re home, and you’re safe, and you’re mine. That’s all I care about. Please don’t ever feel like you have to hide anything about yourself from me. Nothing could ever make me love you any less.”
Even though the self-loathing programmed in Frank’s subconscious wanted to pick apart your words and find holes in them, the conviction in your voice and the look of pure adoration in your eyes couldn’t be contested. You meant every word, and that moved Frank to tears.
Because you were right.
He was home. You were both safe. And you were his.
And when you traced his scars with your lips, he felt no pain.
“I hate the thought of you being in pain like that. Not just physically. I know these are nothing compared to the ones that must be on your heart.” BRO I GASPED
an old fashioned! Headcanons for frank taking care of you while you’re on your period? Cramps are kicking my ASS rn 😫
oh nonnie, I feel for you. my period are ALWAYS awful, and always have been, so i'm sending you all my love and all the good feelings.
cheers to you my darling 🥂
headcannon below the cut
frank castle doesn't mind blood
first things first, mans is always covered in blood, so he would make sure you know he doesn't give a shit if you bleed through anything and he would probably fight you on washing either the sheets or whatever you were wearing and insist you just sit down and rest
"i got it, baby. you just sit down and relax."
he would take such good care of you and do anything he could to make you feel better
you craving ice cream at 2am? he's going out to get it if that'll make you feel better
"ain't a problem, sweetheart. whatever ya need. be back in a minute."
heating pad isn't doing enough for your cramps? he'll take off his shirt and press right up against you so you can feel his soothing body heat and massage your back and stomach with his giant paws
"here baby, let me help. how's that? that better?"
regular pain medication isn't helping? he's got a stash of the good shit from curt he'll give you
"here, just take a little. don't just sit there in pain, sweetheart."
you're having a breakdown in the middle of the kitchen for no reason other than your hormones are all over the place and you're just super emotional? frankie's right there prepared with a bear hug
"aww, baby. c'mere. s'alright, honey. cry all ya need, i'm right here. ain't gonna let'cha go. how 'bout a bath, hm? with bubbles and all that, sound nice?"
frankie just wants to take care of you and make you feel better bc he's so in love with you and it breaks his heart to see you in pain
I would like to reiterate that frankie is a grown ass man that is not afraid of blood so touching you while you're on your period and period sex are not off the table for him
"i don't give a damn 'bout the sheets, but we can lay a towel down if it makes ya feel better. just c'mere and lemme make ya feel good, sweetheart. i read orgasms help with cramps. now that i can do for ya, baby."
Thinking 👁 OK I KNOW THIS IS KIND OF AMBITIOUS but I can’t decide!!! could I please have a matt murdock margarita ? and maybe make it a double. aka I can’t decide if I wanna ask you for “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” or “your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined,” so it would be sooo cool if you would write a drabble that has both of those vibes? IDK I KNOW ITS KIND OF A CHALLENGE TO DO TWO IN ONE so no worries if not— pick whichever you feel most inspired by 😌 Congrats on 2k!
nonnie,
challenge fucking accepted. (also thank you for the challenge, I enjoyed it very much)
here's a double just for you, my darling. 🍹
blurb below the cut
new years day
your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined
“Do you think we would’ve met if I hadn’t moved to New York?”
Matt trailed his fingers absentmindedly along your shoulder, turning his head slightly to brush his nose along your cheek as he hummed quietly in thought.
“I think so.”
The downpour that had opened up above Hell’s Kitchen had lessened to a hushed pattering of raindrops pelting the large window panes in Matt’s living room. You curled further into your boyfriend’s chest, lighty balling a small fistful of the soft t-shirt he wore. The storm had been coming down so hard earlier that you had convinced him to stay in tonight, and you were suddenly worried that its transition into a faint shower of droplets would have him changing his mind about going out.
“How do you know?”
Matt chuckled softly as he wrapped his fingers around your wrist that fisted his shirt, bumping his nose with yours to capture your attention and get you to look at him. There was a tender smile on his lips as his brows furrowed the tiniest bit in puzzlement.
“Where’s all this coming from, angel?”
“I just…wonder if I ever would’ve met you if I hadn’t moved here, and if I hadn’t…we wouldn’t be here right now.”
Matt cocked his head to the side slightly, his golden honey eyes appearing to stare directly into yours as they shifted over your face slowly. You knew he was listening to your body, studying you, trying to find clues as to what was going on inside your head.
“But we are here right now.”
He kept his voice gentle, but there was a firmness to it that pulled you out of your head and back into the moment. Letting out a soft sigh, you dipped your head to rest it back against his shoulder, nuzzling your face into his neck.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Talk to me, love. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
Loosening your grip on his shirt, your fingers traveled up the soft material to lightly touch the chain around his neck, dipping below the collar to grasp the cross that dangled from it between your thumb and index finger. You weren’t religious like Matt was, but you often wondered if there was some higher power or greater being that brought the two of you together.
“I just can’t imagine not knowing you. I don’t remember what my life was like before you were in it, and now I can’t picture a future that you’re not a part of. I can’t imagine not loving you.”
Matt tightened his arms around your waist as he hugged you even tighter into his chest, pressing his plump lips against your forehead and allowing them to linger there for a moment.
“I can’t either, angel. But we don’t have to think about that, because you are here. And I think no matter what, we always would’ve ended up here.”
You closed your eyes as you listened to the smooth cadence of Matt’s honey voice, melting into the sincerity that dripped from his words.
“Wanna know how I know?”
“How?”
“Because I prayed for you. And if you’re the one prayer that God ever answers for me, I’m okay with that. Because I got you. And no matter what, no matter how it happened, or how long it took, I think He was always gonna send you to me. We were always meant to end up here, together.”
Letting out a shaky breath, you turned your body slightly so that you could straddle Matt’s lap, gently cupping his jaw in both of your hands while staring at him with your eyes glistening with complete adoration.
“I love you so much, Matt.”
A smile bloomed across Matt’s mouth as his hands moved upwards to hold onto your waist, his eyes appearing to glow from the light being filtered in from the billboard across the street.
“I love you so much, sweetheart.”
All of the times you thought you had been in love before were nothing compared to what you felt for Matt. You were never terrified to lose anyone before. Nervous, maybe. But never scared. The idea of falling in love with a stranger that could eventually turn into a ghost that took a piece of you with them never filled you with inconsolable dread. The cynicist in you constantly combated with the hopeless romantic. Falling in love was beautiful until it wasn’t. Flowers bloomed vividly and proudly until the cycle of spring was over and winter came to collect the bones.
A stranger could become the center of your entire universe, rearrange the constellations in your sky to their liking, paint the planets colors they preferred, just to become forgotten rubble at the edges of your orbit.
But you didn’t think you could handle that with Matt. He had never felt like a stranger to you. Even the first night you met him, he had simply felt like a piece of you that was missing. If he was spring, you never wanted to experience another season. If he wanted to rip out the foundation of your universe and start over with plans of his own, he could have it.
You’d do whatever he wanted except let go.
“Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere.”
Matt shook his head slowly as he gazed blankly up at you in pure devotion, his lips splitting into a wide grin while wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to pull you flush against his chest.
