Fai_Ryy

blake kathryn
The Bowery Presents
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

gracie abrams
NASA
art blog(derogatory)

titsay

Jimmy Eat World
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies
No title available

pixel skylines
macklin celebrini has autism

izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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shark vs the universe

bliss lane

seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from Malaysia

seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from United Kingdom
seen from TĂźrkiye
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seen from United States
@rockiesandredwoods
Nothing is funnier to me than ppl with rly wild jobs still just being people and having long tired mornings like everyone else. Just heard a doctor in the lab say âI have to go do some cloningâ with the same level of enthusiasm I use to say Iâm gonna do the dishes.
gasolina, the original despacito,
you all know im right. you all know its fucking true.
despacito WISHES it had half the raw energy of gasolina
Now obviously John Mulaney has had a profound affect on all our lives, but without a doubt to me one of the most impactful things he has ever said was: âWhatever. This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.â That has become one of my guiding life philosophies.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal Iâve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jonesâs Whatâs New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.Â
Hereâs the thing about when, uh, Whatâs New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not âhey someoneâs playing Whatâs New Pussycat again.â Itâs âhey, Whatâs New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays youâre thinking maybe someoneâs playing Whatâs New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays youâre either thinking âwhoa someone just played Whatâs New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and itâs a really long song.â So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?Â
Now, John and I weâre watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to whatâs going on. And weâre staring at this one guy and heâs sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and heâs like staring at his coffee cup like this, and heâs been onto us since the beginning. And heâs sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And heâs staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. Itâs dead quiet. Then, I donât know if you know this, but the song begins very quietlyâŚ
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHATâS NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and Iâm punching in the Whatâs New Pussycats alright? Iâve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me âhey hey hey before you punch in another Whatâs New Pussycat letâs drop in one Itâs Not Unusual.â
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven Whatâs New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, ITâS NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jonesâs Itâs Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven Whatâs New Pussycats. Itâs true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. Itâs Not Unusual fade out. Itâs dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHATâS NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like âyup some crap as always.âÂ
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
im losing my mindâŚ.shes jus a lil babyâŚ
Is thatâŚ, josh peckâŚ
If I donât see this somewhere on my tl every Friday, Iâm gonna be very upset
oh⌠she can sing
Why didnât she release this version originally??
because she was 13 and had no control over it and now shes in her 20s lol
me at this point of the year, reacting to any bad news
The earlier in the year you reblog this the funnier it is
ellen truly is a lesbian icon
Iâm just a little black rain cloud, hovering under the honey tree.
Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.
Every time this is on my dash, itâs an automatic reblog.
My mom asked me how to screenshot on her iPhone. I laughed and then remembered she taught me how to use a spoon and a toilet.
âŚ.. This legit just humbled me
yep, keeping this one forever
way to put things in perspective
Some memes transcend sexuality
date the person who says, âhave fun, be safe, and call if you need anythingâ not the person who gets mad at you for going out w/o them
partnership not ownership
Reblog until I die
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âNo one has ever become poor by giving.â
â Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank (via goodreadss)