Rocky's human facts

Documenting the strange leaky space blobs Grace and Simon

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Human Simon has rabies! If he bites you, you will turn into an earth dog. Watch out!

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I do not know what a 'sexyman' contest is but I have been informed that Grace is winning in it. This means it is good.

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In the hypothetical scenario where a human has taped your orb to the floor and turned on 'jazz' at loudest volume while Grace is out teaching, what would you do and can someone call Adrian for unrelated reasons

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Simon made Grace all leaky today, and hid in the garden for long long time. I hate Simon. I think we should put a 'days since Simon was a little shit' sign with a big zero on outside of enclosure, but Adrian say that humans have something better. It's called 'couple's therapy'. Adrian say maybe I should become couple's therapy for Simon and Grace so I can tell Simon he's a bitch and Grace will feel better.

Will need notepad and glasses, Adrian says.

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The Bachelor is weird. Humans are weird. Human mates have to play games and dress up and compete. Maybe Grace and Simon need someone else to compete with so they can be mates? Maybe we should put a picture of a human in their rooms to start mating behavior...

...BAD bad bad idea, Simon punch hole in wall and Grace scream very loud!! Apologize much to Grace, must remember to bring gift to say sorry.

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Simon Grace have started growing plants. Adrian has been researching fertilizer, and Simon is very excited to grow tree! Adrian says best fertilizer so far is me-burger which Grace says Simon doesn't need to know... says its weird. I think humans are very bad at communicating. Humans stupid. Simon stupid. Adrian smart.

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MUST MAKE SIGN FOR HUMAN DOOR FOR EATING. WALKED IN ON GRACE SIMON DINNER. BAD BAD BAD NEVER AGAIN NEVER NEVER NEVER

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Adrian says they found a new human documentary about human mating. Is called The Bachelor....

Adrian thinks we can get the humans to mate if we study hard enough. I dont think Simon deserves Grace, but if Grace happy with Simon, I will try to help. Maybe I should find Twilight next since Grace has mentioned it a few times.

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Grace showed me his funny images with big words again today. I never understand them, but they make Grace happy, and we managed to download all of Mary's data, so he has plenty. He said it was a human thing.

When shown to Simon, he seemed distraught, and said none of the words could be found in 'the bible', will need Grace translation later. Simon has since been found studying printed out versions in his bed. Adrian says its so he can make Grace happy, but I think he's just incompetent.

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I have learned a new word!! Amaze amaze amaze! The new word is used when a human does something especially unintelligent, or as an exclamation of disgust or surprise. Adrian (my beloved mate) has been looking through more human documentaries for the word and is finding new uses every day. Humans have not enough words, I think.

Anyways, the new word is.....

Shit!

Have fun using it with your fellow eridians--I have not found a good way to replicate it with our own speech implements, but I greatly desire to, so Grace can't censor my translator...

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Grace has mentioned something called 'Twilight' to me and Simon a few times. Apparently it is a human documentary about special humans and mating? Will keep you posted.

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Note to self: calling Simon a 'whiny little bitch' will make him try to kick your protective sphere. Only do so when Grace is around to be mad at him for it.