Not today Justin
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith
No title available

if i look back, i am lost

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

⁂
styofa doing anything

roma★
NASA
DEAR READER

izzy's playlists!
Today's Document
Show & Tell

Andulka
Stranger Things

JVL
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Keni
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@rodrigator-x
I like how they turned Elphelt’s inability to get anyone to marry her despite her being an attractive woman into an inability to get anyone to come to her shows. Her excitedly talking about having 8-9 whole fans really captures the failwoman energy she had but in a different way
I didn't know that she's supposed to have no fans, didn't her win screen have her in front of a large audience?
Where does she talk about having 8-9 fans?
I do know that her moves certainly do fit the fail woman energy, though.
oh right, technically i sell t-shirts
i forgot about that
The shirts are objectively hideous and horrifying but the material is very comfortable
this is a very important photo because it demonstrates a key fashion property of the shirt which the product image fails to show: namely that
yes, this shirt is purposely designed so that the eyes sit approximately at tiddy level!
you don't have to have tiddies to wear this shirt, but just be aware that if someone is staring at your chest, this is the shirt that stares back!
#also you get to say HEY! MY EYES ARE DOWN HERE!!!
AND THE REVIEWS ARE IN!
(also the shirts are $18 + shipping, and yes i did splurge to get the soft comfy fabric)
Order soon if you want one before the holiday rush!
That time of year again!
(the time of year where I hope at least one person puts on this shirt and goes trick-or-treating and if anyone asks "aren't you a little old" you just thrust out your chest & mutter "Candy For the Gaud Mouth")
p.s. the new stock photos are just.....so much fun
Is there a long sleeve option?
the hero/arch-nemesis dynamic counts as a queer platonic relationship. it's on the spectrum
Platonic? Absolutely not
it is so important to me that more people realize the collective nouns for cats include "a pounce" and "a glaring." society cannot heal until we acknowledge this basic truth
My favorite practical joke of all time: that one student who convinced an entire college that a Rhinocerus escaped from the zoo and drowned in the campus lake. This was achieved by:
A rhino-foot wastebasket, borrowed from a professor
The surreptitious application of footprints in the snow leading up to the banks of a frozen lake. A lake with a conspicuous, potentially rhinoceros-sized hole in the ice…
Just one of many shining moments in the career of infamous practical joker Hugh Troy
This has got to be one of the greatest pranks ive seen
I also recommend Stealing Park Benches!
Or disassembling the professor’s car and reassembling it around a statue!
personally I’m a fan of the Cambridge classic, Car on A University Rooftop
engineering students built a crane from scratch to lift it up there!
Okay but having lived in Cambridge my whole life I must now add to this. Students of Cambridge have a long history of car pranks.
Following the austin seven on the roof of Senate House in ‘58, a group of students in ‘63 hung an Austin seven from the bridge of sighs
The dealer who’s shop it was from was offering it for £2 with no engine or gearbox.
They punted it down the canal and strung it up.
In ‘68 the prank was repeated with a reliant regal three wheeler, though less of a fanfare was made and I can’t find any photos of it. But despite supporting two cars, the bridge sustained no damage. Still stands today. (It was the bridge to connect the first accommodation block on the other side of the river to the campus buildings, and so it is joked that students sighed as they were dragged from their beds to their exams, much like Byron’s (also a Cambridge lad) assessment of the Ponte dei Sospiri in Venice that the prisoners would sigh at their last beautiful view of Venice before they were led to their cells).
Then in ‘85 another prank was pulled when a fiat was propped up on stilts in the cam
There’s not much info about who did this, though a good assumption is either students or workers from the science park.
In ‘89 the Cambridge car club took part in the annual raft race with a reliant robin
My dad was there. Did a lot of the photography for the raft race each year. Speaking of, his work’s newsletter article for the 1990 raft race (I thought I could find the ‘89 one and see if I could find any of his photos of it, but alas it’s twenty to five in the morning and I haven’t slept)
Anyway, back to cars. In 2013 they ‘recreated’ the original car on senate house prank. When I say recreated, I mean they recreated the crane and scaffold they used to get it up, and demonstrated how it worked with a platform instead of actually using senate house. Many of us were disappointed in that.
Based on the many stories recounted in the notes, college students and high school seniors are obsessed with putting automobiles in ludicrously inconvenient locations and that has a certain beauty!
"would you have sex with your clone" always sends me into such a thought loop like:
yeah i guess if my clone was into it
...would my clone be into it?
what does it even say about me that i'm not even whether an identical copy of myself would want to have sex with me?
do I want to have sex with me?
*examining my inner most emotions* u know what absolutely. i would absolutely want to have sex with myself. i would jump at the chance. i should be so lucky. it's called self-esteem u clownish hussy.
This is reminding me of the "every morning I wake up and I ask myself, would I fuck myself?" Video
big fan of when some edgelord isolates himself from the world hiding in his menacing magical castle, only for his future love interest to ram down the doors like YO BITCH! i live here now
queen shit
Beast Boy’s powers would be so much funnier if he didn’t turn green. imagine u live in teen titans tower & one day there’s a pigeon sitting on the breakfast table. it’s probably just beast boy. probably. but it just sits there pecking at cereal and you’re left grappling w/ the suspicion that someone left the window open again
alternatively, Beast Boy adopts an aquarium full of green frogs and lets them wander around the tower for this exact purpose
Could not stop thinking about this
hate how all these apocalyptic films show society breaking down the hot minute the grid goes down, with all the survivors banding off into tiny violent gangs that prey on each other.
bitch you are a member of one of the most social species in existence! it is actually insane the extent to which humans have evolved to use cooperation as our main survival tool. humans have been building and then rebuilding societies for as long as disasters have been bringing them down. an apocalypse would be fucking awful, but the survivors would end up building communities and networks and pooling resources and knowledge, because that's what humans do. that's what they DO!!!
@coffee-shop-gay your tags are a love letter to humanity, oh my stars (reformated for readability):
#most macho bitch boys clearly have never been in a real survival scenerio #bc i used to bus around the USA a lot, and one time the snow was coming in SUPER hard and our driver was swerving on the ice and we went off road, and we ended up stuck there. and using the radio the driver communicated with the bus stations and they said they'd send another bus - but it may be a while. but MAN it was SO fast that people were divvying things up, ppl were unpacking their bags for blankets and passing out extra sweaters that would fit other, pulling out blankets and using our duffles as pillows. a good group of ppl knew no english at all - mostly being mexican immigrants - but we quickly developed a lingo of pointing and charades-and it turned out they had LOADS of snacks so we all passed those around for a while. there was a woman with a small child and we all took turns watching the kid so she could sleep as we went into hour 10+ of being on this bus. keeping the baby warm and fed from her bottle etc etc. by the time the second bus came in to pick us all up we were a full community. it was beautiful. scary and cold as hell. but beautiful
I hate it when bugs bite me. stop reminding me I'm edible
#yes yes someday My Flesh will rot and I'll be consumed by the Earth#death is inveitable and eternal and i will return to the dust from whence i came yada yada#but can you WAIT YOUR TURN please and thank u bitch
These tags. I’m dying.
we're ALL slowly dying i just want smaller organisms to WAIT UNTIL THEN
these tags came out of nowhere and imma adopt them & raise them as my own:
#death can fucking wait by the doorstep for all I care I’m going to draw a bunch of turkey vultures today and be happy #fun fact their wingspan is about the same as mine #and they have weak talons. so they can’t pick food up. and they can have comunal roosts with hundreds of vultures #spreading out their wings to warm up #they’re absolutely beautiful and I love them
Wasn't their wingspan way bigger than ours?
you know those Nefarious Trap Doors cartoon villains are so obsessed with? the ones that lead inevitably to acid-shark-piranha-infested-radiation-lava moats? ok so I appreciate and respect the gimmick, BUT.
I think more swirly slides should be involved
"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)
i find the implications hilarious:
kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that
but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh
yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function
upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!
why do we even have that lever? because you built it yzma. these are the machinations of your own design yzma! YOU ARE TANGLED IN A WEB OF YOUR OWN WEAVING YZMA! YZMA THAT IS YOUR CROCODILE!!!
shout-out to everyone in the notes claiming that kronk pulled the wrong lever on purpose. you are so right, this is the face of a himbo who knows what's up
I'd like to formally thank the people of the UK and Ireland today for their rhyming prowess and forcing the Royal Mint to turn off replies to this tweet in RECORD time lmfao
And last but not least, the pièce de resistance that inspired about 90% of the hidden replies:
For anyone wondering, it was in fact meant to be "sovereign on a sovereign" 🤦
Jesus fuck, the mint weren't even doing the joke right. Of course these rabble would be the kind of reprobates who try rhyming a word with itself.
bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon
ok so if the grinch and tony had a kid, it would probably be
have weird fur and an unsettling appearance (like the grinch)
be orange and into sports (tony)
so that child would be Gritty
I’ve never derived an iota of joy from this website and I truly don’t know why i’m still here
I am ashamed to say that I put a lot of effort into this….
holy. fucking. STARS.
Whoops my hand slipped….
how have you done this…..why have you done it…..
I can’t stop
Look at the kids run!
Happy Grinch Day, Chapter 4 of the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER FIX-IT FIC is up!
I couldn’t breathe when I saw these…
Parent Trap but Gritty and the Lorax try to reunite Tony & the Grinch
The Lorax has bought his new boyfriend to meet his family :)
(Canonically the lorax probably wouldnt have dated the onceler until he was old but imo young onceler is more easily recognizeable and yes i did spend time thinking about what age i should draw the onceler at LMAO)
(IMAGE DESCRIPTION)
The Lorax introducing The Onceler, his boyfriend, to his family, which consists of his parents, Tony the Tiger and The Grinch, and his sibling Gritty of hockey fame (idk jack about hockey sorry)
the exhaustion of my souls is profound and boundless. weep for me, for my sorrow has drained away even my tears
(link to Chapter Four)
say something nice to me
You're very gelatinous and you're a very nice shade of pink
Do you wear wigs?
No, but I'd like to know why you asked, I have never posted a picture of me on this site so I'm not sure where you got the idea