In love with roger taylor and daniel sharman

I pretty much just reblog stuff I like and write a minimal amount of fan fiction lollll 21 💜 she/her

[rogershoe]

MASTERLIST

Started: 9/6/2020

Last updated: 07/08/2021

R O G E R  T A Y L O R

Blankets (one shot)

D A N I E L  S H A R M A N

Lights, Camera, Action (series) - You’re a production assistant on the set of Cursed (26/?)

i s a a c   l a h e y

Dream (series) - You (and Stiles) get the whole pack to audition for a play in the hopes that you’ll get closer to your crush in the process (teen wolf au) (1/?)

[shipcestuous]

[anakinskywalkerog]

✨🔥some Hayden rares🔥✨

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 9

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series masterlist

summary: y’all know the drill now

series warnings: eventual smut, mentions of death, palpy

a/n: oops

Anakin forgot how beautiful Coruscant is. He can’t recall the exact number of months he’s been away; he stopped keeping track of time around you, but it’s enough to make his skin buzz at the feeling of Coruscant’s humidity. He’s not staying in the Jedi Temple, which is unusual enough to him, but is instead staying with you in the diplomatic lodgings provided by the Senate. It’s strange; he spent every night since he left Coruscant by your side, sleeping next to you, but now that he’s here, it feels so much more intimate. It could be the size of the bed, it could be the reminder of his responsibility and role of a Jedi here on Coruscant, but whatever it is, his heart skips a beat at the thought of sleeping by your side.

The two of you had reached quietly and checked into your lodgings, with him playing the role of the affectionate husband. You seem to be okay, at least as far as he can tell, but you’re certainly quieter. He’s glad for it, but there’s still some part of him that wants to sweep you into his embrace, pull you tight and shield you from the awful parts of the universe. He doesn’t want to dwell on it for too long, but the desire is inescapable. He still doesn’t know what it is that you, Padme, and Obi-Wan had discussed. All you’d said was that Padme had heard something that meant there wasn’t much time left. He’s watching you now from the corner of the room, scanning the room constantly for any threats.

“It feels like it has been too long since I was in Coruscant,” Anakin says finally. It doesn’t feel like his home anymore, and that scares him. No, home in his mind is now back in the Royal Chambers of Naboo, spending every waking moment with you.

“I’m sure. I apologize for the nature of my mission, it must be hard to be away from home for so long,” You say, turning to smile at him. “But hopefully it’ll be over soon, yes?” You say with a hopeful smile. The thought of leaving you twists a knife in Anakin’s gut, but it’s one that he’s learned to accept. It’s always there, always looming, and the only thing left for Anakin to do now is get used to the dagger in his stomach. He’ll have to leave you, sooner or later. But that doesn’t make the thought of it any less painful.

“Anakin… about your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine,” you speak to him from the seat of the vanity as you get your hair ready for bed. “We—“

“He’s a good man,” Anakin snaps at you before you can say anything negative about his friend. Chancellor Palpatine has guided him through so much, and he can’t imagine where he’d be without him.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” you respond coolly. “What makes you think I’d say otherwise?”

Anakin hesitates before he sits down on the bed, mesmerized by your elegant movements. “In the past, both Padme and Obi-Wan have cast their doubts about him. But I can’t imagine the idea of their suspicions panning out to be anything. He’s an honorable man, even if they don’t like it.” You nod quietly, and he can’t gauge a thought in your head before you rise and flip the covers to get into the bed.

“I believe you, Anakin. If that’s the case, I think your friend deserves to know you’re still alive, right?” You ask him quietly, laying down sideways. Your statement makes him pause. He should tell Sheev, shouldn’t he? But that would make it all so real, the ending of this. And you look like an angel born of the earth, like the muse of all things beautiful, and he almost wants to say he doesn’t want to tell him, just so he can keep the farce of being yours up for just a little longer. But the feelings spark such shame within him that he just nods, his throat dry, and lays down next to you.

As he sits there in the darkness, listening keenly to the slowing of your breathing, steady and quiet, he realizes something. Nothing in this universe is guaranteed. He is promised nothing by the universe, and he’s seen it countless times; his mother, ripped away from him, the other younglings at the Order rejecting him. But the universe has guaranteed one certainty; when he’s next to you, he can sleep peacefully.

~~~

“Chancellor,” your voice floats above the din of the Senators as you address the man. “If I might borrow your attention?”

“For the Queen of Naboo, my attention is yours to own,” Chancellor Palpatine jests, coming to stand by your side. “Milady, I must ask… what brings you to Coruscant, and to the Senate, no less?”

You allow your painted lips to form just a hint of a smile. You have a thin line to walk now—if he’s a Separatist, of which there is only a slim chance, he can’t think that you truly want to help your people. But if he’s not, you still hold a responsibility to your people. “My people feel as though the urgency of the Separatist threat is not being handled with urgency. I come as a representative for Naboo in order to request the Republic have a stronger role in protecting Naboo… however, I know that our forces get so busy. It’s a shame, isn’t it?” You say, echoing the words that Darth Sidioius had spoken to you before.

Chancellor Palpatine’s face remains a smooth, unmoving mask in response to your words. A little too smooth. Either he’s a horrible chancellor, or you were right to have your suspicions. But you can’t act on inaction. You cough, deciding to move on. “I suppose I shouldn’t delay it much longer. But… Chancellor, keep it a secret, will you?”

“Keep what a secret, Milady?” He asks, tailing you as you stride into one of the nearby conference rooms.

“My husband wished to see you,” You smile, stepping to the side as the door eases shut. Anakin is standing before the glass, soft light catching his hair. At the sound of the door, Anakin turns around with a smile.

“My old friend,” He says, striding over to embrace Chancellor Palpatine.

“I thought— Oh, Anakin, I thought you were dead!” He sputters, embracing Anakin back. “Why the farce? Please, you must tell me everything.” He lets go of Anakin and takes a seat at the long table. Whatever suspicions you may have of him, his excitement and relief of seeing Anakin, alive, does feel authentic. Perhaps he is innocent, and your suspicions are entirely misdirected. But that’s not something you can take a chance on. Nonetheless, you’ll give the two their space.

“I’ll leave the two of you to reconnect,” You say with a smile, tenderly stroking the side of Anakin’s face before you leave the room.

“I know,” Anakin says before the Chancellor can speak. “It must seem so confusing to you. But it’s better this way. I couldn’t bear the thought of going through the process of leaving, announcing my intent to leave and bringing such shame upon my former Masters. And because of my importance, I don’t imagine they’d let me go so easily. My skill in the Force is unmatched by any other Jedi I’ve seen. But…”

“You’re in love with her,” Chancellor Palpatine finishes. Anakin smiles wistfully, swallowing the guilt of lying to his friend. But he needs to sell this. Palpatine also cannot know that you were stationed there to protect you, but he deserves to know you’re alive. Plus, you have some sort of idea that he can help you in uncovering the truth. And Anakin trusts you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” Anakin responds, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as the image of you fills his head. The faint smell of jasmine in your hair, the shape of your nose, your lips, the softness of your cheek in his hand and the way you look at him. You look at him like you see him for him, and still trust him. It puts all the rage in his body to rest. He may need to sell this to Sheev, but Anakin’s not sure it’s entirely an act. You do make him feel safe. At the same time, you make his heart race with each little quip you make. You challenge him, frustrate him, and he needs you with him, always. You’ve taught him to love without attachment, the true Jedi way, because he knows he can never truly have you. You’re not his to love.

Sheev smiles. “Young love. It is such a beautiful thing, to be free of the restraints that others have placed upon you and to be able to accept that without guilt.” A bitterness sits in Anakin’s throat as he smiles. If only his friend knew how much he longs for that.

“Well, it would be a shame for your powers to go to waste,” the Chancellor says. “I do hope you find something worthy of it being used. The Force has blessed you, and I believe that you’ll be able to achieve even greater things without the Jedi Order shackling you with all their rules.” His lined face lights up in a smile before he places a hand gently on Anakin’s shoulder, catching Anakin’s eyes as he heads back to the Senate. “But perhaps that’s a conversation for another day. Until then, Anakin.”

“Until then,” Anakin echoes.

~~~

Anakin can hear you screaming. He doesn’t realize it’s you at first; he’s too busy looking at Padme. She’s sobbing, tears rolling down her face as she tries to say something to him. He can’t make out the words, can’t hear them coming out of her mouth. All he feels, all he sees is pain. He’s surrounded by it. Always has been, always will be. And the sound of your screaming, shrieking, drowns out any sound that Padme makes. He tries to turn to you, tries to see where you are but Padme grabs his jaw and turns him back to her. Her nails are digging into his skin and it hurts, it hurts but he just wants you to stop screaming. You’re in pain, he’s in pain, and none of it will stop. Padme’s touch grows hotter and hotter on his skin until he’s sobbing, the heat of it scorching as fire begins to light upon her skin. It engulfs her dress, spreading to her hair, until she lets go. He doesn’t hesitate to run to your voice, the sound of your screaming where you lay there, your body limp as you struggle against something he can’t see.

“Help me,” You beg him, reaching towards him. “Please, Anakin, help me,” You plead. Your fingertips begin to unravel into little tendrils of smoke, reaching towards him as more and more of your body is taken by the smoke.

“No,” He whispers, trying to grab the smoke, holding your body as it disintegrates in his very hands. “No!”

“Anakin,” Your voice cuts through his visions. He wakes up with a start, sweat making strands of hair stick to his forehead. He looks at you with bleary eyes, sitting straight in the bed as you look at him in concern. “Hey. Are you okay? You were talking in your sleep,” You say, sitting up as well. He doesn’t answer, just grabs your wrist and shuts his eyes at the feel of your pulse.

“Hey, it’s okay,” You say. “It was just a bad dream,” You say gently. Anakin feels sick. He’s supposed to feel safe next to you. It’s been months since he had a vision like this, months of blissfully quiet sleep. He was so sure it was because of you. Maybe you’re not close enough. Or maybe it’s this damned place. Anakin leans into you, circling his arms around you and pulling you tightly to his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?” You ask him, allowing him to hold you as he breathes slowly, working his way out of the darkness of his dream.

“I dreamt I lost you,” He murmurs into the crown of your head, squeezing you tightly as he remembers the feel of your lifeless body. “The worst part of it is I know I’m gonna lose you anyways. You’re going to be gone, soon enough, and I’ll have to go through all of this alone, all again.”

“I’m always gonna be your friend,” You reassure him. Your breath meets his bare chest and he’s reassured by the fact that you’re alive.You feel warm, warm and full of life a

“I dreamt that you died,” He says simply. “And I can’t have that happen.” Not again. Not like what happened to his mother.

“Anakin,” You say, pulling yourself off of his chest. “I’m okay. You’re protecting me.”

“But what if there’s something I can’t keep you safe from?” He asks, meeting your eyes. His fear is plain as day, and he knows you could piece together what that means in an instant. Why he’s so fearful of losing you. You matter to him, even if he hasn’t said it.

“If there’s something you can’t keep me safe from, then it’s not your fault. Know that. People die sometimes, even if we do our best to keep them safe from it,” You respond. Your voice is surprisingly even despite the gravity of Anakin’s emotions. He doesn’t understand how he hasn’t dragged you down into the depths of his misery but he’s grateful for the anchor that you provide him. “Anakin, the most important thing is the safety and security of the galaxy. To do the most good for the most people, that is what we are born into this universe to ensure. And if—” your voice breaks, and you lean your head back into his chest. “If I do die under your protection, I will know that you’ll have done your best to keep me safe. But more importantly, I’ll know that you will carry out my work and see to it that those who come after us will see a better place. With me, without me, the universe will move on.”

“I don’t accept that answer,” Anakin frowns, but you just laugh.

“It’s the truth. My life will never be more important than the fate of the universe. But you’re stressing about nothing. I’m here, I’m okay, you’re okay. Just… try and go back to sleep, will you?” You ask, shivering before he draws the blanket above the both of you. He’s never really held you like this before. He isn’t holding you to make your pain stop, he’s holding you to make his pain stop. And he doesn’t want to let you go. But that’s what makes him let go, allowing you to go lay down while he sits up, watching as you fall asleep.

You’re not his to keep, anyways.

[starlazergazer]

Couldn't Get Rid of Me if You Tried

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request(s): Reader has a nightmare and Anakin stays with her / Reader can’t sleep so Anakin stays by her side / Reader hasn’t slept in a few days and Anakin notices and makes the reader go to bed, not leaving until they fall asleep

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: Long overdue but I finally finished writing something! This is a mash up of a few different requests I thought would work well together so let me know what you think!

Anakin fixed his robes for what felt like the tenth time in the last ten minutes, part of him chastising himself for being this anxious over nothing but a bigger part of him worried that they weren’t laying properly, or that his hair was sticking up in a weird direction, or that there was something stuck in his teeth.

Not that you would ever judge him for any of that of course. In fact, he already knew exactly what you would do. You would fix whatever it was yourself, an amused giggle slipping out as you approached to rake your hands through his hair attempting to tame every stray piece until you were satisfied, a light smile never dropping from your face throughout the process.

Another part of him considered messing up something on purpose just so he could see that smile.

But no that was a bit ridiculous even for him. You were expected to land any minute now and spend the next week in meetings preparing to address the senate, and Anakin was to be your guard for the entire time. He’d have plenty of time to earn your smile, hopefully without needing to embarrass himself.

The sound of the door opening snapped him out of his thoughts. Anakin quickly jumping to his feet, holding his hands rigidly in front of him and taking a deep breath.

A loud voice sounded before he saw anyone, a list of meetings and notes being rattled off by one of your aids loudly as in strolled your own personal security guard, the man immediately noticing Anakin and giving him a small nod before scanning the room, you following in close behind him.

Anakin couldn’t help but grin as you entered the room, your attention completely absorbed by the datapad you held in your hand, eyes skimming across the screen rapidly as you read, offering small hums of acknowledgment as your aide continued to rattle off messages.

You walked right by without even noticing, going on autopilot to your desk and setting the pad down, not sitting yourself but rather standing over it, stretching your legs as you continued to read. Anakin couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath at the sight, vividly remembering your conversation with him after your last flight into Coruscant about how the long flight made your legs ache, you refusing to sit for as long as possible afterwards in an attempt to get blood flowing back to your toes.

“Allana has senator-“ and finally your gaze rose from the pad, instinctively heading towards your aide’s form but snapping to Anakin the minute you realized there was another person in the room, brows furrowed for a moment before you recognized him “An- uh jedi Skywalker?”

His lips ticked up at the near slipup, giving you a small bow “senator it’s nice to see you”

“It’s nice to see you too” and the confused expression returned to your face, eyes snapping to your guard then aide for a moment before returning “Is there something I can help you with?”

It was now Anakin’s turn to wear the confused expression “I was under the assumption that you had requested extra protection for your speech”

Your eyes snapped to your bodyguard, raising an eyebrow “Did we request extra protection?”

“We did” he nodded, pausing a brief second before continuing hesitantly “I figured it could be beneficial after what happened last time”

He could hear your sigh from across the room as your gaze snapped back to the datapad, quickly resuming your reading only making Anakin more confused.

“What happened last time?”

Your gaze snapped up to your guard, a silent threat sent across the room before your gaze connected with his, a smile painted on your lips that didn’t reach your eyes “nothing”

Anakin was already turning to Dex, your guard, a million questions on the tip of his tongue. He hadn’t been on Coruscant the last time you had made the trip out but he hadn’t heard of anything happening. What were you keeping from him? Instead of being able to ask, however, Allana spoke up, her voice slightly higher than usual as she sought to cut the tension in the air.

“Senator you’re needed at-“

You didn’t even let her finish, grabbing your datapad off the table and waving her off “of course senator Elan’s meeting thank you Allana” and without even looking back at him you were headed back out the door, your entourage filing out behind you leaving Anakin to bring up the rear, trying to edge off his disappointment from your much too quick welcome.

-

You were back at your desk, the same place you had been all day if not in a meeting, typing away furiously at your speech before you, not taking notice of Anakin’s approach until he set the glass down before you.

He’d made you your favorite, the same one you always had whenever you came to Coruscant, usually shared with Anakin while the two of you talked before bed. He always missed those talks, one of the few times he felt like he could really talk about himself not in relation to the jedi order, one of the few times he got to actually hear from you, not the senator.

You smiled up at him as he set it down and Anakin felt a warmth spread through his chest at that look, feeling that finally you were looking at him for the first time all day, not the curious jedi showing up in your room or the hired guard standing off in the corner, just a friend who made you a drink. “Thanks Ani”

And oh how he missed hearing that nickname from you, a grin creeping on his lips as he clinked his own glass softly against yours, rising it to his lips in an attempt to hide it as he sat down in one of the chairs before your desk, settling in as you went back to typing, finishing out a few more words before finally taking the glass.

“Where’s Dex?”

You shrugged back at him, eyes casting back to your screen as you read over whatever you had written “I told him he could go to bed, you’re up to guard me”

He nodded back at your answer, taking another sip of his drink before responding “It is rather late are you heading to bed soon yourself?”

He watched your eyes jump to the nearest clock, eyebrows jumping up slightly as you read the time, an exhausted sigh escaping as you rubbed a hand over your face “Today went by much too quickly”

He chuckled softly at you as you shut down your system, picking up your glass as you walked down around your desk to sit in the chair next to him, angling your body to face him “I guess time flies when you’re having fun” he offered.

You laughed at that, shaking your head softly “oh is that what this is?”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you and Anakin always loved how he never felt the need to fill silences like this when they came up between the two of you, more than happy to just sit in your company.

“How’s Obi-wan doing?” You asked him, a small smile growing on Anakin’s face.

“He’s good, he’s off world on an assignment right now”

“You’re not with him?”

“No there’s this senator who requested extra protection for this speech she’s giving” he responded innocently “extra protection her team requested due to some incident she stupidly won’t tell me about”

You hummed back in response and Anakin couldn’t help but notice the way you seemed to struggle to keep your eyes open, your posture completely slumped over in your chair as you used it to support your head “maybe this senator has a very good reason for that”

“I doubt it” he responded with a soft shake of his head “maybe this senator should go get some sleep before she falls asleep in her office chair”

That seemed to snap you back to attention, your posture pushing you back up slightly as you made extra effort to make eye contact with him, groaning slightly as you did so “no I’m okay”

“oh yeah you look it” he hummed back with a smirk, pushing himself to his feet and offering you his hand.

“No come on talk to me. I haven’t gotten to talk to you in months I miss it” and he felt his heartstrings tug at your words, his smirk growing into a softer smile as he chuckled slightly.

“Then it’s a good thing you’ve got me for a whole week” he mused “but right now you look like you need sleep badly so come on”

With a small roll of your eyes you took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. And he tried to ignore the fact that he had stood too close to your feet when he pulled you up, tried to pretend it hadn’t been his intention when your body was nearly pressed against his once you were standing, tried to disregard the way his body seemed to hum from the close contact before he stepped aside and slipped a soft hand to the small of your back to usher you forward.

“You know I think I can find my way back to my room from here” the amusement in your voice telling him that you didn’t mind.

“The council tasked me with protecting you this week and I’ll have you know I take my job very seriously” he told you, the mock sincerity in his own tone making you laugh, his heart swelling within his chest at the sound.

“I’ll be sure to leave you a glowing review with the council then, five stars for jedi Skywalker” you slowed outside your door, pushing it open but spinning around to lean against the doorway and face him, Anakin relishing the soft smile that graced your lips as you looked up at him.

“I certainly hope that your scale is out of five stars” he practically hummed the words, taking a cautious step closer to you eagerly noting the way the corners of your mouth lifted even higher as he did so.

“oooh unfortunately my scale is out of ten stars” you scrunched up your face in a grimace, a small shake to your head as your eyes bounced back and forth between his own “you lost some back there when you made me go to bed instead of staying to talk to me”

“It’s a good thing I have all week to earn them back then” he mused with a smirk, leaning softly forward.

And by this point it would be so easy, so easy to lean down and close the distance, so easy to capture your lips into his own, so easy to pull you by the waist against his chest, so so easy….so so over the line.

He halted his movements the second the thought occurred to him, the realization that any push forward would be without a doubt crossing a line. And he wasn’t just talking about the jedi’s line, he could reconcile with disobeying the code, but this would be crossing your own as well. He was your hired guard, a man whose sole responsibility it was to protect you, surely you wouldn’t want someone like that acting the way he so desperately wanted to, crossing that professionalism boundary.

It'd been quiet for too long, Anakin too in his own head to realize it until it was too late, until your smile started to slowly slip off your lips, a ghost of one remaining as you spoke, soft and sweet “Goodnight Ani”

And he tried to ignore the effect that nickname had on him as he forced himself to take a step back, giving you a small nod “goodnight senator”

“Y/N” the correction came quickly.

And he would pretend that he hadn’t done it on purpose, used your title instead of your name just so that you would correct him, assert in this moment at least that your relationship went beyond just senator and jedi guard. He would pretend that right now that was enough.

“Goodnight Y/N”

-

Anakin struggled to sleep that night, not that that was unexpected after what he had nearly done in your doorway, so it was no surprise that he was up early and dragging himself towards the dinning room of your apartment before the sun had even a chance to rise.

What was surprising was to see you already at the table, a piece of toast in one hand, a document you were reading over in the other.

“You’re already up?” he didn’t bother to disguise the shock in his voice, his brows furrowing at the sight.

“Had some work to get done” you shrugged, not taking your eyes off the document “figured I’d get an early start”

Slowly he made his way around the table to the chair beside you, his eyes never leaving your figure as he tried to piece out what information it felt like he was missing, his gaze quickly catching the dark bags under your eyes and the slow lethargic blinks you were giving the paper “how long have you been up?”

“Not long” another shrug, another avoidance.

“You look like you’re on the brink of collapsing” he pushed a teasing tone into his voice, hoping making light of the situation would get you to drop whatever guard you still had up “you don’t have any meetings for another few hours why don’t you go back to sleep for a little longer”

Finally you turned your head to look at him, Anakin easily seeing through your every attempt to appear more awake, the way your posture straightened, the way your gaze widened slightly, the small uptick in one side of your mouth as you forced a smile, a façade created solely for his benefit “I’m okay Ani”

“And you’d tell me if you weren’t?” he asked skeptically.

This got an amused snort out of you as you turned back to your work, a more real smile gracing your lips “probably not”

And for now he decided to drop it, to let you have whatever secret you were keeping from him, to let you have one sleepless night “next time I’m asking for a less stubborn senator”

You laughed at that, a fond shake of your head as you glanced over at him “nice try I know I’m your favorite”

You have no idea.

-

He found you in the same place as the night before, your head propped up lazily on your fist as you stared down at the page before you on the desk, your other hand slowly taking notes with movements that were far too large and far too lazy to be anything legible. “Senator we have got to stop meeting like this” he teased from the doorway, a brief flick up of your eyes the only sign that you had heard him “you behind your desk nearly falling asleep in the chair, me walking in telling you to go to bed. Feels awfully familiar”

“Y/N” your soft voice quietly protested; your head still propped in the same position as you ignored the rest of his sentence.

“Y/N let’s go to bed” He dropped his voice to a low, calm pitch, stepping into the room and up to your desk, watching you slowly push yourself into a more upright position.

“No I need to finish this” you objected with a sigh, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes as you stretched in your chair.

He couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the movement, his eyes darting down to the page you were taking notes on “sweetheart your notes aren’t even legible.”

Your head snapped down to the page as well, taking in what looked like nothing more than a series of random loops that were supposed to be your notes “shit”

“yeah” he chuckled softly, head nodding to behind him as he spoke “come on you can do it in the morning.”

“No I need to-“ objections poured out of your mouth again but Anakin barely heard them as he made his way around your desk to crouch down next to you, your voice halting once Anakin placed the crook of his finger beneath your chin, pulling your gaze to him.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asked softly, taking in the way every feature of yours screamed of exhaustion “and don’t say last night I know that’s a lie”

You let out a sigh at that, pulling your face back from his grasp “I mean I did sleep some last night”

“When was the last time you slept more than an hour?” he countered.

That question silenced you, your gaze fixed on the work in front of you, your voice so soft when you finally did answer Anakin had to strain to hear it “I don’t know”

“Exactly” he sighed, reaching down to grab one of your wrists, giving it a small tug “come on you need to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep” and he knew it wasn’t just because of work, but he wasn’t going to push, not yet.

“Okay, you said last night you wanted to talk what if we did that instead?”

Your head rose to meet his gaze slowly, your brows furrowed slightly as you looked up at him skeptically “yeah?”

“Yeah” he nodded with a smirk “but only If you’re laying down in bed”

You groaned at that, your body slumping forward so that your forehead hit your desk.

“Come on” he laughed, using a hand on your shoulder to pull you back up to sitting position, giving it a soft squeeze before reluctantly removing it “you don’t want to sleep? Fine, but at least lay down. A compromise” he tried to convince you with a small chuckle “and here I thought you’d be proud of my negotiating abilities as a senator and all.”

That finally earned him a laugh, then another groan as you pushed yourself to your feet “can’t believe you’re using this power for evil.”

“If you weren’t so stubborn I wouldn’t have to” he hummed back softly, leading you down the hallway and to your room, giving you a chance to change and brush your teeth before ushering you to your bed and taking a seat on the ground beside it.

“You know it’s a big bed” you offered softly, sleep already pulling your voice down to a near mumble “you can sit up here.”

“I’m good right here” he responded softly as he leaned his back against your mattress, his position putting him mere inches from your resting form above.

A hand was cast carefully down over the edge of the mattress and before Anakin could think otherwise he reached up and tangled his fingers with yours, choosing to believe you offered it to him by doing so, accepting that perhaps it was just the position you liked to sleep in even as you hummed happily from above him as he rubbed the pad of his thumb lazily back and forth on your finger.

“Can we talk yet?” your voice was muffled from your position on the mattress, but Anakin didn’t complain, keeping up the rhythmic motions of his thumb as he responded in a soft voice barely above a whisper.

“What do you want to talk about sweetheart?”

“Tell me about your last mission” you supplied immediately a smile rising on Anakin’s face as he started to tell the story, barely paying attention to his own words as he instead focused on the sound of your breathing, waiting until it started to slow and deepen.

He stopped talking once it did, his thumb slowing to a halt only after he made sure you hadn’t noticed the silence, only then daring to press a soft kiss to your knuckles before pushing himself to his feet and out the door. A soft “goodnight Y/N” whispered from the doorway before he shut the door behind him.

-

Not long after Anakin had fallen asleep a disturbance in the force was dragging him back to consciousness. It took a few seconds to orient himself as he sat up in bed, part of his brain trying to take in his surroundings while the other part was screaming that something was wrong.

His body reacted before his mind did, his feet were on the ground and pulling him towards you before anything else, his only instinct being to get to you.

Saber hilt in hand he threw open your bedroom door, eyes rapidly scanning the empty room before falling on your sleeping form as your head whipped back and forth, soft whimpers falling from your lips as your legs tangled up in the sheets.

With a small sigh in relief Anakin set his saber down on your bedside table before making his way over to you, a hand coming to your shoulder to give your body a small shake.

Your eyes shot open immediately, a surprised yelp escaping your lips the same moment, as one foot reared up and made contact with his torso.

A grunt left Anakin as he was pushed backwards by your kick, your form scrambling up the bed to get further away from him, loud ragged breaths coming from you as you curled up defensively in a ball as far away from him as you could.

 “Hey hey it’s okay” he tried to soothe you, one hand coming up but refusing to take a step towards you yet, giving you a moment to calm down.

Your heavy breaths were the only thing filling the silence in the room as you offered no response, your form staying tightly curled in on itself as Anakin practically begged you to answer him.

“Y/N you’re safe, it’s just me, it’s Anakin” he tried again.

Your breaths halted at his words, your form remaining unmoving, Anakin risked a step forward.

“It’s just me”

“Ani?” Your broken voice had his knees shaking, Anakin having to fight to urge to rush to you knowing that would likely just set you off again.

“Yeah that’s right it’s just me sweetheart”

Another tense silence passed between the two of you before you spoke again, your voice slightly stronger “Ani? Ani, oh god I’m so sorry-“

Anakin didn’t let you finish, taking your words to mean he was okay to approach as he closed the distance between the two of you in a few steps and scooped you up into his arms as he sat down on the bed.

You didn’t hesitate to curl up in his arms, taking the opportunity to bury your face in his chest, slow shaky breaths wracking your body as you fought more tears.

“You got nothing to apologize for sweetheart” he tried to assure you, running a hand softly through your hair as he held you tightly against himself.

Your breaths started to slowly even out as your muscles started to untense, your body slowly relaxing in his hold. Only once you had completely calmed down did Anakin speak again, burying his face in your hair “do you want to talk about it?”

You didn’t respond, something Anakin certainly didn’t blame you for, simply held you against him, rocking softly as he continued to stroke your hair.

After a few more minutes you started to shift in his arms and Anakin had to fight the instinct to hold on tighter, to not let you escape. Nonetheless he forced his arms to go slack to allow for your movement, feeling relieved when all you did was shift until your back was against his chest. Anakin eagerly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him once again, the two of you sitting in a comfortable silence.

“Last time we were here” your voice was soft enough that even from his position just behind you he struggled to hear “a man broke in and hid in my room”

Anakin’s movements stilled at that, his entire body freezing for a moment as his brain struggled to process your words.

“I just woke up and he was there at the end of my bed” you continued in an empty, hollow voice “I screamed and Dex came and took care of it. Nothing happened, nothing” and here it felt like you were trying to assure yourself more than him “but still I’ve been having nightmares about it ever since”

And as usual Anakin’s first instinct was to reach for anger, ire rising within him towards the jedi council for not telling him, towards Obi-wan who had to have known, towards Dex for letting him act as your guard without all the facts, towards himself for not having picked up on it sooner.

But as you shook slightly in his arms he knew his anger wouldn’t serve him properly here, lashing out at anyone wouldn’t fix anything, it wasn’t what you needed now.

His hold on you tightened, pulling you further into his chest as his chin sat comfortably in the crook of your neck, mumbling the question against your skin “sweetheart why didn’t you say anything?”

You sniffled, your cheek resting comfortably against his for a second before you answered “It’s stupid”

“It’s not-“ Anakin’s objection came quickly but your affirmation followed shortly, as if you had been expecting it.

“It is, he didn’t even hurt me, didn’t threaten me, just startled me and now months later I’m still too scared to sleep? It’s pathetic”

“You are far from pathetic” You could feel Anakins words against your skin as he spoke, his face lifting off your shoulder to press a kiss to the back of your head “A man broke into your room and you found him looming over you while you slept, that is objectively terrifying.”

He felt you sigh against him, the words clearly not fully sinking in.

“Besides its not entirely about what had happened, which I cannot stress enough is horrible, but rather the idea of what could have happened. Maker Y/N why are you even still in this room? You should’ve taken mine”

You were quiet for a bit, a deep breath inflating your chest against him before you responded “I thought if I stayed here I could force myself to get over it, to try and be braver than it”

He shook his head at that, unable to keep the fond smirk from growing on his lips at your answer “You’re plenty brave for even taking this apartment after last time, staying in the same room is just stupid”

That earned him a wet laugh, a few chuckles that had you relaxing slightly in his hold “Will you stay with me, please?”

The thought of leaving hadn’t even occurred to him “Sweetheart you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried”

Another small set of chuckles, your body further melding with his as you relaxed even further, exhaustion finally starting to take over.

“Except not here, come on lets go back to my room”

You shook your head at that, leaning it back against his chest “no it’s okay-“

“Please” he cut you off with a near whisper “for me please don’t force yourself to stay in this room”

Nothing but the feeling of your breaths against his chest for a few moments before a reluctant nod “yeah okay”

Anakin smiled satisfactorily at that, slowly, reluctantly releasing his hold on you to allow you to stand up, not hesitating before taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, pulling you out of the room behind him before you could object.

Walking into his room Anakin didn’t hesitate to slip into one side of the bed, watching you carefully as you stood apprehensively at the edge of the bed on the other side, slow choppy movements in your limbs as you reached for the covers and carefully got into the other side, taking care to stay on your side.

But after tonight there was no more overthinking, no more worrying about crossing the line, no more talking himself out of things. You needed him and to Anakin that superseded everything.

As soon as your head hit the pillow Anakin scootched up behind you, throwing an arm around your waist and pulling you up against his chest, chuckling at the small gasp that left you at the movement.

But you didn’t pull away, your muscles tense for a moment as you adjusted before you relaxed against him, one foot coming back to tangle your legs with his own, burying yourself further into his chest as Anakin offered a content hum.

“For the record I really would have been okay with staying in my own room as long as you were there” You whispered back at him “you make me feel safe Ani”

He tightened the hold on you even more at your words, a smile so wide it hurt his cheeks overtaking his face as he buried it in your hair “alright we can try that tomorrow then”

“tomorrow?” you teased easily, any tension from the circumstances of your present predicament slowly fading from the room “awfully sure of yourself there aren’t you?”

“I told you sweetheart, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried”

[starwarsficnetwork]

Anakin Skywalker Writers

Banner by the lovely @theywhowriteandknowthings

Writer Masterlist by character

Writers! Tag us or use the hashtag #starwarsficnetwork to be featured! But please have your age/age range in your bio. If you’d like to be removed, send us a dm!

*will be updated regularly*

Listed in alphabetical order:

@anakin-skywalker-always

@anakinskywalkerog

@anatee

@antxlss

@distortionbobble

@fuckmyskywalker

@gummyfang

@hanasnx

@heavenlyevil

@justadmiringanakin

@little-miss-vader

@nwndrlndn

@panicpixieplaygirl

@princessbrunette

@skywlker-sluvtt

@tulipsbymybed

[chokemeanakin]

❈ ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 ❈

⌜𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗⌟

➣ Cuddling

➣ Jealous/Insecure Reader

➣ Short/Shy/Insecure Reader

➣ Giggly Reader

➣ Driving Lessons

➣ Touch Starved Reader

➣ Touch Starved Anakin

➣ Domestic Anakin

➣ Giving Anakin a Massage

➣ Curvy Reader

➣ Skinny Reader

➣ Sleepy Moments

➣ Wearing His Robes

➣ Little Things

➣Protective Anakin 〈part one〉 𖡻 〈part two〉

⌞𝕎𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕡⌝ ☄︎

➣ Asthmatic Reader

➣ Menstruating Reader

➣ Sick Reader

➣ Pregnant Reader

⌜𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥⌟

➣ Jealous Reader ↼18+ content⇀

➣ Jealous Anakin ↼18+ content⇀

➣ Anakin Comforting Reader

➣ Reader with Mommy Issues

➣ Reader with Daddy Issues

ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕪 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕠𝕗𝕗...

[xstarkillerx]

"let me get harder inside you,"

This audio sounds like sneaking into Anakin's room at night and having to keep your voices down so you don't wake anyone and get caught.

I picture AOTC Anakin, or maybe freshly knighted Ani. There's just something gentle, and eager about this Audio, it's real sweet.

Make sure you check out the original audio by Roguestones! It's way longer and he's a really good VA

Masterlist 👑

[hanasnx]

❝𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧❞

au!hayden christensen x fem!reader

chapter: 1 | ⟹ next chapter

series masterlist

summary: hayden is the gardener to the grounds of the estate you reside. the wayward home for girls is meant to straighten you out, however hayden has other plans for you.

MINORS DNI 18+

word count: 5k | character(s): hayden christensen | tags: @katsukiswrld @sin-d

notes: inspired by virgin territory, hayden’s character lorenzo di lamberti in virgin territory, & pride and prejudice. both movies’ settings 1400-1700 esque

warnings: fem pronouns/anatomy, explicit language, mild nudity, eventual smut, friends to lovers, sexism because of the time period, everyone is aged up appropriately, mild religious themes, mild sexual thoughts and objectification

The season was shifting, the cold winter air being shooed away by the spring equinox. In turn, a new gardener was hired to care for the grounds. The snow had melted, and the sun heated the day to the perfect temperature. An outside hallway that connected the two parts of the estate, had arched windows open to the fields. In one of the arched loft windows, you perched on the cushion, back against the pillar of it as you rested the spine of your book against your knee. It was dreadfully boring assigned reading from your tutor. In truth, you came here to enjoy the weather, and hear the birds sing. Winter was always so hard on the health of you and the companions that lived here.

Some might say it wasn’t proper for a lady of your stature to live somewhere other than home, but your parents had sent you here since it was known as a “home for wayward girls”. It was meant to straighten you out to their standards. Instead, it encouraged you to worsen your behaviors, until you were simply insufferable to be around.

“You tattered your dress again, (y/n),” One of your “sisters” spoke up, taking a seat by your feet on the cushion. You eyed her over your book, and marginally leaned over to witness what she described.

“So it seems,” you replied, diligently returning to your book. “Always a pleasure when you notice, Sister Marguerite,” This facility encouraged “sisterhood”, referring to the women around you as such was proper, meant to nurture good natured relationships amongst your peers. Marguerite’s hand came to roll the thin material of your skirt between her fingers. Her dress was as pristine as ever, fabrics that looked expensive. Free flowing with colors of baby blue, beige, and coral pink. However, you could tell the winter had not been kind to her complexion. She was frail even for a lady, and for her skin color, she’d paled.

“Did you try to climb a tree again?” she asked slyly, side eyeing you. You saved your page and patted your book down onto your flattening lap with a huff.

“Don’t you have something better to do than lecture me? I don’t go around climbing trees, you know, I told you my kite was caught.” you explained, tugging your dress from her grip. It made her chuckle. Marguerite had admired your tenacity since you got here, recognizing it as your brand of humor. Not many others did.

“Well, at least we have our new gardener to climb trees for you,” She twisted her hands in her lap, “He’s so handsome, have you noticed? I’d love to watch him scale anything just to retrieve something for me. Something as small as a handkerchief.” You didn’t answer, instead listened to what she had to say about him. You had noticed him, everyone had. The sisters around you described him as an angel, and often fantasized about him aloud in inner circles. Your silence moved Marguerite on, gaze drifting down your necklace hanging in between your collarbones to the book in your lap, your finger in between the pages to hold your placement. “What’s that you’re reading? Is that one of our assignments?”

“Yes. It’s terrible. You’d love it.”

She snickered. When she opened her mouth to say something, the sound of a carriage cutting through the grounds on the gravel interrupted her. The two of your attentions turned towards it, noticing a girl’s face behind the sheer curtains in the passenger seat. “Oh, looks like we’re getting a new one,” she said with intrigue shining through her delicate voice, watching the carriage pass. Her hand clapped against your leg, “We should go greet her,” However, she didn’t wait for you. Excusing herself to the front to meet the newest addition to the sisterhood. You had not broken your gaze looking out the window. The gardener picked up a fallen branch, tossing it into his wheelbarrow, and raked stray leaves left behind from autumn, preserved by the snow.

You chewed the tip of your thumb. You fancied the way he moved, hunched forward when he brushed the leaves to him. The thick cords of muscle shifting in his arms and shoulders. His shirt was too large for him, and hung off him, stained with sweat. The openings granted you access to glimpses of his half nakedness, and when you realized you’d been staring a blush rose to your cheeks. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, especially because you knew you were now alone out here. Just you and the gardener distanced from you. You longed for him to be closer, close enough to run your fingers through his golden curls, gaze deeply into those crystal blue eyes. The gardener was nothing short of dreamy, and challenged your purity every day. You could not tell him, and you could not tell your peers.

When he straightened, resting his palm atop the erected rake as the back of his free hand wiped the sweat from his brow, he met your eyes. You frilled up in embarrassment having been caught. A smile stretched onto his lips, and he nodded at you in acknowledgement. In a hurry, you gathered up your things, hiking up your dress as you made your way to the exit. Glancing at him, you tripped up over a raised board. You regained your footing quickly, storming off, and you saw him laugh, exacerbating your blush.

The ordeal was so troubling, you’d forgotten about the newcomer. To get to your room, you had to go through the lobby, and the new girl was surrounded by a throng of giggling girls, excited to greet her. You had to push through to reach the stairwell, and glanced at the center of attention.

Her face looked frightfully young. A pretty little thing who offered everyone a kind smile. There were feathers in her hat. You could tell she was pleased by such an avid response to her arrival. Intrigued, you idled amongst the group.

“Anastasia,” one of your “sisters” began, “the room next to mine just opened up, you should take it!”

“No, Anastasia, take the one next to mine! We could be such good friends!”

So that was her name. Anastasia. It resounded regal on everyone’s tongues, as if she were royalty. Whenever a new woman joined this facility, everyone glowing with excitement was pretty standard. Your guess was because nothing ever worthwhile happened here, so everyone clinged onto anything different. She answered someone, but you didn’t register her words, instead you noted how soft her voice was. A perfect ladylike tone, with a confident lilt. You listened to the whispers around you.

“Oh, she’s such a handsome young lady.”

“I heard she’s promised to an Earl in the north. I wonder what she’s doing here,”

“Her luggage looks so expensive!”

You furrowed your eyebrows at the mention of an Earl, mention of who a woman was betrothed to was not common. Most of the ladies here, you thought, were the ones families discarded. They were too much trouble, or too expensive to house at home. Usually ladies in their twenties who have been deemed unfit for marriage, require rehabilitation, and reintroduction to society. If it was true, did the supposed Earl know Anastasia’s here?

It was best not to dwell on it, it was none of your business. You cut through, ascending the stairs in order to be alone.

Mealtime didn’t come soon enough, and the staff often took advantage of this time to reestablish table manners. Everyone had to stand, wait to be seated at the same time, wait to be served, wait to eat— It was bothersome, especially when you heard your own stomach growl. Just before the group was released to eat, one of the head ladies, Mrs. Daulta, snapped her fingers at you.

“(y/n), it’s your turn.” she reminded you, picking up a tray with dinner, bread, and water. A pit grew in your stomach at the thought of seeing him after earlier. You stood. “Bring this to the gardener’s housing,”

“Oh, Mrs. Daulta! Anastasia should do it,” One of the girls piped up, and it slowed your movements.

“Yes, Mrs. Daulta, she’s just arrived today. It’d be a good opportunity for her to be introduced to him— since we see him on the grounds so much.” Another woman added, the throng throwing themselves into an excited frenzy at the thought of Anastasia being able to meet the gardener. You didn’t know why, but your heart grew heavy.

Mrs. Daulta eyed those who spoke, and those who agreed, “Why, that’s a splendid idea, ladies. Very thoughtful,” she commended, and Anastasia rose from her seat with a grin. Just like that, your heart fell, and you sunk back into your chair. Disappointed, much to your confusion, that you would miss out on having a couple of seconds alone with him. Even if it was just to bring him his dinner tray. That pit in your stomach didn’t fade, as did your appetite.

Laying awake that night, you looked to your left where Marguerite lay sleeping next to you. Back home, you didn’t have any siblings. Parents barren after you. Your only use was to fetch a hefty dowry, and your parents couldn’t count on you for that if you didn’t start behaving properly.

You often thought of Marguerite as your sister. You didn’t mind that you had to share a room with her. However, she did sleep rather restlessly, and it wouldn’t upset you save for the worry she wasn’t sleeping as soundly as she could. Your eyes blurred, focusing on the candle on the nightstand. The white wax crawled down the small length, short from being burned. The moon twinkled in your window, and you knew you should be tired by now. The outside looked so inviting to you. You knew the air must be crisp, coldened by the last remnants of winter as it transitioned seasons.

The fire flickered, you watched it with glazed eyes as your mind processed all that had happened today. How Hayden smiled at you. Hayden. There was something about his name so symphonic to you, closing your eyes to imagine the look he gave you when he caught you staring at him. How you tripped in front of him… Normally, you’d think yourself graceful, and to display to him how clumsy you could be was embarrassing. What’s more, is how embarrassed you were over how your heart sank when Anastasia was picked to bring him his dinner. Perhaps, if she was really promised to an Earl, she didn’t speak with him at all. Merely introduced and excused herself from his quarters. You couldn’t help but venture further, squashing your own hope. A girl like that, seemingly wealthy clothes and doubtlessly beautiful, he must’ve spoken to her more in depth. The conversation you imagined had you throwing your arm over your eyes.

Without Marguerite’s help, your dress was challenging to say the least. You’ve never been good at putting your clothes on by yourself, with all the strings and buttons it required. Even this simple white dress required time. Tying up the last bit, your grip slipped, elbow colliding with the wooden stud behind you with a thump. Silently, you mouthed “Ow,” hand cradling the sore spot, and eyeing Marguerite, cautioned that she woke from the noise. You heard her soft snore, and you continued on.

The latch on the window was locked in all rooms, this one had been tampered with by you before, allowing you to undo it, and push the windows open. As you suspected, the night air felt incredible. Blowing through your hair, it refreshed you. It beckoned you for a stroll. A visit to the pond should tire you out. You’d return before anyone saw you. You hiked up your skirt, and threw your leg over the sill, gaining a footing on the vine outside. Carefully, you climbed out and down the vine. You were confident it’d hold your weight, it grew up the entire side of the brick building, and you’ve done this countless times before. Within reach, you closed the windows, so Marguerite wouldn’t wake from the chill, and your flats met the ground within minutes.

A breeze washed over you, and you felt renewed, despite the thinness of your dress. It was the same as the others, tattered, however you’d rearranged it rather stylishly, if you could call it that. The fabric was white, the underbust black corset contrasted nicely, and strings loosely tied the front neckline together. By far your favorite part of it was the sleeves. Fallen off your shoulders from your climb, it was layered in sheer fabric that brushed against your skin light as a feather, barely as long as your elbows. It was a dress unfit for social situations, and since you didn't expect to see anyone, you cherished the opportunity to wear it.

A quiet evening was exactly what you needed, and you basked in the sounds of the night while you walked on what felt like clouds. You were weightless, and spun on your heel, arms outstretched to catch the wind under your wings. The moon was so bright, it lit your path as you followed the route to the pond. Your mind was finally clear, and you smiled when the trees rustled, imagining they were attempting to speak to you. Humming a tune to a song you didn’t know the name of, you swayed to a stop in front of the pond. It reflected the moon like a mirror, and you picked up a stone, tossing it in your hand to catch before throwing it, breaking apart the surface. The ripples chased you, and carelessly, you kicked off your flats, stepping into the grass to feel against your bare skin. There was a part of you that wished Hayden was here, to experience this with you. Inconclusive as to why you felt that way, but you found yourself fantasizing he’d come from his quarters to walk with you. Since that was not meant to be, you focused on being grateful to be alone. Convincing yourself it was better this way. This way, you don’t have to pretend.

You sat, hugging your knees to your chest, shivering from the air, but you didn’t want to go back yet. The pond had settled from your disturbance, but you noticed in the distance how it stirred again in a different way. And again. You felt a drop of water against your cheek, and your fingertips came to collect it from your skin. More came, intensifying. The pond was scattered with the ripples of rain, and you were out here unprotected. You scrambled up, and rushed to head back, panicking over how you’d explain this, or worse… how you’d be able to scale the vine in this. No longer drizzling, your teeth chattered. The temperature was too much for you, and your skin stung from the freezing weather, damp dress sticking to you.

Unbeknownst to you, there was another nearby who also had trouble sleeping, and had noticed you sneak out again. When you slipped on the mud, a pair of hands came out to grab hold of your upper arm, saving you from falling forward. “C’mon! C’mon, I have you,” he said, voice raising over the volume of the pouring rain. You’d forgotten your flats, and momentarily you pulled at the stranger’s grip to go retrieve them. “Hold on, let’s get you inside, right over here,” The hands directed you, and it was hard to see through the water weighing down your lashes, but he brought you to his quarters, splashing through the puddles in haste.

The man who had you… The gardener. He opened the door for you, and to escape the cold you went in.

“I— Oh,” Free from being blinded, you rounded on him, coming face to chest with his drenched figure. You could see through his shirt, and water dripped off his chin as he looked down at you.

“Let me get you something, seriously, you need to get dry,” he said, concern shining through his voice, large hands squeezing your shoulders as you stared up at him in awestruck. He swiped a palm over his mouth, and pushed his hair out of his eyes, passing by you. You realized if you could see through his shirt, he could see through— Your arms wrapped around your chest, swallowing hard.

“I’m okay, really, I should get back—“

“Oh, back to the rain? So you can try to climb up that vine? I saw you earlier. You should wait out the storm before you try that again.” he answered you from the other side of the room, collecting a towel to bring over to you. He straightened it out, throwing it over your shoulders and you clenched the hems to cover yourself, grateful for it. “We have to get you warm, quick. Come here,” Your questioning expression shifted to surprise as he drew you in, encircling you with his arms. He pressed you to his chest, his body heat aiding you. Your cheek against the bare skin where his shirt opened, you felt a blush rise to your face. Hayden knew this was inappropriate, but he also knew what you were just exposed to could be life threatening if he didn’t do what he could to mend it before sickness took root. The thought of that made his body curl around you further, stroking your back with his large hands, warming you with friction. Your pink cheeks deepened to red, spreading like wildfire. “Oh, you’re heating up already. That’s good,” he murmured, jostling you gently, relieved that you weren’t shivering anymore.

Once you realized what he’s describing was your body’s response to his close proximity, you instinctually pushed off him. Your hands clasped against your chest, as you locked eyes with him. He looked vulnerable. Worried. You wanted to say something, anything, but you couldn’t. Nothing came to mind.

“I apologize.” he told you before you could think of what to say. “It was important, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t… Holding you like that.” his voice minimized with each syllable, a fear setting in that you’d reprimand him. In a way, he believed he deserved it.

So, he was only holding you so tenderly, because it was important. Not for anything else.

You found your voice. “… No, no it’s not that. Um,” You hoped he’d allow you the time to put together a sentence, to articulate what to say before he moved on.

“I won’t touch you, but I’m going to make a fire for you.” he replied, and you could only nod, staring blankly at the floor as if waiting for words to form. Hayden got to work, and you took a seat on the floor. The mud on your feet had washed off when you had trudged through the puddled cobblestone, specks of dirt littering your calves now. Having been removed from his body heat, and the cold stone under you, made you shiver.

Like you were restraining yourself from ogling him again, you lifted the towel over your head, hiding yourself underneath it. You heard the shifting of firewood, the scraping of a metal poker against the hearth, and the crackling of fire.

“C’mere, (y/n).” Your stomach churned at the sound of his voice. You peeked out through the curtains of the towel. “It’s (y/n), right?” He knit his brows together, stooping to get a better look at you, his hand outstretched. Nodding, you gingerly accepted his hand, and he raised you to your feet effortlessly. “Come sit in front of the fire for a bit,” He led you to sit at the cushioned bench in front of the hearth.

He hadn’t been outside as long as you, but his clothes were soaked. You dared a glance at him over your shoulder, witnessing him dry himself off with a towel. You found yourself worrying about him now. “Aren’t you going to change out of your clothes?”

“I’m waiting until the rain dies down, and you can get back to your room.” he explained, and only then did it register that you practically just asked him to undress in front of you. Since he didn’t seem to take it that way, you pressed your lips together and insisted.

“That could be a while.” with the way the rain sounded, beating against his roof. “I won’t look, but you shouldn’t stay in those. Both of us are at risk for catching something.” You faced the fire. He loitered for a second, and shrugged. You had a point.

When he sat next to you, he was in fresh dry clothes, and a fresh pair were waiting in his hands. “I won’t look, if you trust me, but you should take your own advice.”

Your hair, wavy from the dampness, stuck to your neck when you pivoted your head in his direction, eyes trailing from the clothes in his hand to his earnest expression. You gulped, and glanced at the ceiling to hear the wind force the rain down harder. There wasn’t a doctor in this area for miles. If you fell ill, it’d be grave. That served to overturn your doubts, and you nodded. Releasing the towel as he handed you the outfit, and it slipped off you to pool around your waist. You met his gaze, painfully aware of your exposed skin in front of a man, and he was drinking it in. Without thinking, he reached out, and lifted one of the sheer layers of your sleeve in his fingers, and it formed over the tip because of its dampness. The corner of his lips curled in what you’d describe as delight. Remembering the altercation earlier, he dropped his hand and expression. Abruptly, you stood out of his reach. “Turn around, please,” you instructed.

He did as you requested, and you set the pile down onto the bench, so your hands were free to undo the back of your dress. As if stiffened from the cold, it hurt to reach behind you, struggling to undo the buttons of the corset with your brittle fingers.

Hayden had closed his eyes at first, but the image of you had surfaced behind them. Drenched, with this pleading look on your face. His lower lip caught in between his teeth, imagining your defined collarbones, the droplets of water from your hair sliding down your chest. The stringed neckline having come undone from the extraneous movement when you were escaping the rain. That loose window allowed his blessed eyes to glimpse the lines of your breasts. It wasn’t like the rest was up to his imagination, your clothes were soaked through. In his peripheral, the curve of your chest was no longer a secret, and your perked nipples were hard from the cold. He reminisced what it was like to hold you, your trembling form pressed against his, how for a small moment you depended on him, trusted him, and he felt guilt for dwelling on you this way.

You emitted a noise, frustrated by your clothes because an already challenging task was made impossible by your circumstances, and he wondered if you were alright.

“Is it safe?” he called over his shoulder.

“No, not yet.” you replied through gritted teeth. You gave up, hanging your arms at your sides. “I can’t get this thing off.”

“What?” He was sure he didn’t hear you correctly, furrowing his brows.

“There’s too many buttons, and it's painful for me to try it right now,” you sighed, eager to get back to the fire.

Hayden considered it for a moment, and against his better judgment, he offered. “Do you want me to help?”

“Help?” you parroted, staring at the back of his head in disbelief.

He was quick to defend himself, “I’ll keep my eyes shut. I can undo anything in the dark,” he assured you without thinking it through fully, and the implication of what he meant shone through. Briefly, you wondered if he’d undo Anastasia’s buttons in the dark.

What were you thinking? It was unthinkable— none of your business. Frowned upon or not, you won’t pretend people are innocent. Especially people as beautiful as Anastasia and Hayden. Did he think she was beautiful when he met her? A level of anger flared up in your chest from your own thoughts and standing in your wet clothes, and you agreed in order to rush through this, desperate to warm up again. “Fine, fine,” You figured you could hang your dress on the mantle until it was fit to wear again.

“Alright, they’re closed,” He gestured blindly for you to walk to him, “Come over to me.” He wouldn’t risk trying to navigate through furniture like this. You stepped over your towel and into the circle of his arms. When he sensed your presence, he stood to his full height behind you, brushing past your back. His warm breath washed over your neck, and you shivered. He misread, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you more comfortable soon,” he promised, and his hands sought you out. His fingertips grazed your bare skin, and that nervous sensation worsened in your stomach, as if threatening to jump out of you. The way he spoke so softly to you, like he was wary of frightening you. You questioned, was he doing what he could to make himself appear smaller in order to ease you? It was working, having felt safe enough to let him do this for you. His hands dragged down the expanse of your back as he searched, and tingles shot down your spine. You felt him pinch the last button you’d undone, and get a feel for it, making his way down as he unfastened them quicker than you ever could.

The corset peeled off you, and slumped to the floor. “Anything else?” he inquired, flexing his hands to appease his nervous energy.

“There should be some ties, if you could undo those,” you murmured, swaying in your spot as you hugged yourself. Hayden pictured the strings holding the bottom of your neckline together having come undone, the glimpse of your breasts appearing until he shook away the thought. Was he being ridiculous? He cleared his throat, and ran his fingers over the cloth. She’s been drenched this whole time. It hastened his urgency, tugging at the strings to let them fall open. It loosened the dress, and you shimmied out of it, as well as your undergarments which you could remove by yourself. “Okay, just keep your eyes closed. I’m going to put on the clothes you gave me.” Cautiously, Hayden reclaimed his seat, cheeks hot at the registration you’re bare in his personal quarters.

Neither of you thought things would end up this way. Everything was so impolite, so politically incorrect, improper. It should’ve insulted you, insulted him. But it wasn’t, and it didn’t. Especially because pneumonia takes no time to set in during this time of year, you were grateful he found you when he did. It occurred to you what he’d said earlier, “Gardener?” He flashed a frown at the name. None of the ladies referred to him by his last name as they should, and their bad habit rubbed off on you. You didn’t notice, and he didn’t correct you, “Have you been watching me?”

“What? No, my lady, I’ve kept my eyes closed the entire time—“ he protested, the guilt bubbling up inside of him from the risqué image of you burned into his mind.

“No, no,” You stepped into the pants he’d given you. Women should not wear pants. “I mean before, you said you saw me climb down the vine from my window.” The question in your mind now was how long had he been watching you.

“Oh, it’s not the first time I’ve seen you do that. It was just that… I happened to be out at that time,”

“Doing what, gardener?”

He blew air through his nose from the name. “I had just come from the pond.”

You remembered how you’d yearned for his presence there. Perhaps if you’d left earlier, you could’ve caught him, and satiated that brief interest within you. You pondered what that would’ve been like. “Were you fishing?” you asked dryly, pulling on the shirt. It was coarse, like you’d expect from a working man’s shirt.

He scoffed. “No, I like it there. It was nice out tonight, and I couldn’t sleep.”

You liked it there too. The idea formed in your head to ask him out on more nightly strolls, as long as you were sure you wouldn’t be discovered with him. Not only was it forbidden to walk the grounds at night as a lady, being alone with a man who’s not your betrothed was also unbecoming.

The outfit he’d picked out for you did not fit correctly, and your hands flicked your hair out from under the cloth. “I’m done, you can open your eyes, but try not to look at me, please.” You attempted to preserve some semblance of dignity, but you were sure that after this, your purity would forever be considered ambiguous.

Hayden obliged and stared at the fire as you returned to the seat next to him on the bench. As soon as you sat, he stood, and the action disheartened you. Did he not want to be near you? Once he had picked up yours and his pile of soaked fabrics, you realized what he was doing. He propped up his knee on the brick, and draped them over his thigh. As a launderer would, he wrung out the dress, leaking the last of its fluids onto the ground. It splashed your bare feet, and you picked them up to tuck under your legs to warm them.

“Oh, that’s right,” he exclaimed, and rested the clothes onto the brick to rifle through some belongings. To occupy yourself, you scanned his quarters, full of things you should expect a gardener to have. Drying herbs hung on the walls, basil plants on a sill, old fire lamps and drippy candles. The dinner tray from the evening came into focus, and you blinked.

“How was dinner?” you asked, making conversation to see if he’d say anything about the newcomer who brought it.

“It was fine,” he answered.

“Did you meet Anastasia?”

At first, Hayden glanced at you with a puzzled countenance, “Yes, I did,” Your bravery faded as rushed as it came on, and you retreated into yourself. An uncharacteristic emotion flared up within you, as your eyes continued to explore his quarters. “I thought it was your turn to bring the tray.” The comment would’ve surprised you if you’d heard it, instead your view had landed onto your undergarments, and you leapt up to dive for them. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he approached you, bewildered by your actions.

“I’ll handle these, thank you,” you replied, shielding them from his eyes with your body. So much for protecting your dignity after he had to have seen something so sacred. You hid them under a knitted blanket, intent to retrieve them when you leave.

“Well, these are for you,” He dropped boots at your feet. You slipped them on. “They won’t fit, but they’re fur lined. Wore them during the winter months. I noticed you lost your shoes,” Scratching the back of his head, he plucked your dress up, flicking his wrists to flatten it before hanging it on the mantle.

You stared at your feet, cozy in the gardener’s fur lined boots.

He wrung out his shirt, and this time the water didn’t splash onto you… because of his boots. Hot tears welled up in your eyes, and you blinked hard.

“Something wrong, (y/n)?”

“No. You’ve been very thoughtful. Thank you,” you whispered.

“Hayden,”

“… Hayden,” Able to let the urge to cry pass, you straightened to meet his gaze. “You know I can’t call you that,”

A single chuckle escaped him, and he hung up the next article of clothing.

“I want you to.”

[nosugarallspice]

Hii I couldnt stop thinking about Anakin with touchy reader that is always all over him trying to touch him, but this time she's mad with him and suddenly she stopped touching him and even looking at him and overall starts ignoring him, how do you think he would react to that ??💟💟also with promp 18 and 28 <3

Hi!! // omg Anakin would go nuts. I feel like he wouldn’t necessarily be angry with her but more so confused, annoyed that she’s ignoring him and not her normal self!!

Minors DNI!!

~~

“Hi baby.” Anakin smiled as he hugged you from behind, placing a kiss on your cheek. His hands roamed all over your body, finally resting his hands on your hips, giving them a squeeze.

You ignored him, rolling your eyes and walking away from him.

His brows furrowed; he was confused. Why were you ignoring him? Did he do something?

Anakin being Anakin; he followed you. He was going to find out what was wrong whether you liked it or not.

“Baby?.. are you okay?” His tone is sweet and soft.

Again; you ignored him, pretending to be busy with some papers that were left on your desk.

He sighed, “y/n? What’s wrong? Did I do something?” His voice slightly raised.

He stood there; arms crossed, leaning against the wall as he waited for you to say something. He also tried to think back to remember if he did something wrong, something that would upset you.

You said nothing in response. You weren’t done being mad at him, you wanted him to work harder for you.

Before you could do anything else; he was behind you, his body pressed against you, your hips now pushed against the desk.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, angel.” His hand slipped into your shorts, yanking your panties to the side.

You shut your eyes, sighing loudly and gripping the edge of the desk. As much as you wanted to hate him.. you couldn’t.

As much as you didn’t want to give in. You did. Your pussy aches for him, needing to be touched, licked and fucked by him.

You leaned back into him, your head tilted up to look at him. “I hate you.” He smiled, looking at you; you looked so cute with your pouty lips.

“You don’t mean that.” His fingers ran along your slit. You were already soaked for him, your clit throbbing, aching to be touched.

“Look at you, so wet for me already and I’ve barely touched you.” Anakin smirked, rubbing slow circles against your clit.

“Ani..” you moved your hips, indicating you wanted more from him.

“What do you want, angel?”

“You. I want you.” You whined

He quickly pulled your shorts down, or should I say ripped them off of you. His own pants were already off- tossed somewhere on the floor.

He helped you lift up one leg on the desk, letting it rest there. Finally slipping in between your folds, starting off slowly to let you adjust, he soon began to fuck you mercilessly. He had your hands pulled behind your back, giving him more leverage as he fucked into you from behind.

His free hand sneaking its way up your back, grabbing a fistful of your hair, yanking you up.

His lips pressed against your ear, soft groans leaving his lips. “Such a nasty little slut, all for me.” He moaned into your ear.

Unable to get out any words, your cries were enough to send him over the edge. Emptying himself inside you.

Your pussy clenched around him as your release approached.

“Such a good girl, taking my cock so well. Let go for me baby.” Just like that, his words were enough to make you cum. Your whimpers filled the room, your body shook under his.

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 6

series masterlist

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pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader

series summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni! ageless blogs dni! none this chapter but the series will have eventual smut, canon-level violence and just general warnings.

a/n: last update until sept 8th, hope y'all enjoy <33 would appreciate your comments and reblogs, because that’s what really motivates me to keep writing . thanks for reading!

Anakin’s back to ignoring you. You’ve been doing the basic training on your own— pushups and the like to maintain your strength, but the silence from him as the week passes on is both uncomfortable and cutting. It’s unlike the first time you had gone silent on one another— that was shy and awkward, while this is borne of a fury that Anakin holds for you. He holds you responsible for the massacre that’s yet to come,  and believes that you aren’t doing all that you can do. 

Oh, well. It doesn’t matter to you— at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself each night as he sits there, seething next to you in the darkness of your room. It doesn’t matter if he’s angry. It’s for the good of the galaxy. The lives of a few to save the many.

The plans and formations are all mapped out in your head, using the skill that you’ve acquired over the years to swiftly internalize all information at a moment’s notice. You can’t write it down, save the paper trail be held against you in the future either by Separatists or the governing body of Naboo. It feels like you’re walking on a razor’s edge, and your appetite has waned thanks to your growing nausea. You’ve been a spy for years now, so long that espionage feels more comfortable than breathing, but this? This is different. This has real consequences, ones that will be all your fault. You wish there was a way out of this.

Dawn of the massacre, you wake up to the first rays of light and sit up, woken from a terrible dream in which your hands had been dripping blood. You sit and stare at your palms, trying to convince yourself that it’s not your fault, that it won’t be on your hands. You have to stifle your tears, nausea and anxiety making you restless. You’re so distraught that you don’t see Anakin isn’t laying next to you, oblivious to the fact until the soft click of the door makes you look up sharply. He’s holding a tray of food in his hand, the sharpness of his face from the days prior faded to a soft look of resignation. 

“C’mon, milady,” He murmurs, sliding the tray of food in front of you. It’s something basic, making you suspect that he’d gone to the kitchens and found nobody there, and had thus arranged the food himself. “You haven’t been eating right, and just now, it seemed like you were having a nightmare.” You thank him but don’t move to eat it, still trying to regulate your breathing. “It’s not too late to change your mind, you know,” Anakin tries to persuade you.

“It is, Anakin,” You gasp, clutching at the sheets as sweat rolls down your body. The anxiety that you’ve suppressed for the past week rears its ugly head, sitting heavy on your chest and forcing you to take shallow breaths. “It is too late. If I interfere, it won’t be just the people that die— because I promise you, they’ll die regardless of what I do— it’ll be me and you up next for execution. I can’t get out of this. There will be blood on my hands,” You whimper, still looking at your hands. For a moment, you wish you could undo it all. Go back all those years and say no to Padme when she asked you to spy within the court. Say no to spying, to putting yourself in this position where you couldn’t do the right thing. Why did it need to be you who makes the tough choices? Why do your hands have to be the ones stained with innocent blood?

Anakin watches you as a shudder tears through your spine and you choke, still fixated on your hands until he grabs your chin and turns your focus to him. 

“Hey, eyes on me,” He says. Distantly, you realize that you don’t think you’ve ever felt this kind of gentleness from him before. “I know. I know what you’re feeling, what you’re going through. I don’t agree with how you handled it but,” he swallows roughly, scanning your stiff form, and sits down on the bed, soothingly stroking your arm to ground you. “It’s not your fault. It’s not. If this is what needs to happen, then I trust you. There is no blood on your hands; like you said, the Separatists will kill them with or without your support.” You don’t know how much of his words he actually means but it calms you down, just enough for your body to relax and for your breathing to return to normal. He watches you carefully, and you know he’s thinking, analyzing the situation, before he sighs and stands up.

“It’s soon, isn’t it?” He asks gravely. You nod, picking at the food on the plate as your thoughts swarm you. “Eat,” He says as gently as he can. “You’ll need strength for today.”

~~~

It’s far enough from you that the palace goes on relatively unaffected by the battle. While it’s not a commonplace occurrence, this kind of violence from Separatists isn’t exactly new. But the level of violence, the speed and weaponry that they used today, that is new. 

A messenger arrives at the palace on a beat-up speeder, panting and holding a blood-soaked piece of cloth to his abdomen as he stands before the Council in the chambers. “There’s too many,” he gasps. “We need reinforcements.” You nod carefully, knowing all the while that there’s nothing you can do. 

“Get this man medical attention,” you call to the palace guards, who quickly usher him away. You catch Reyna’s eyes briefly, her stony face spiking alarm in you as you try to reflect compliance to the Sith mission. You clear your throat as you make eye contact with the startled ministers. 

“Send in our fleet from the west side, in from the valley of the Gallo Mountains. We’ll catch them with the element of surprise,” you order.

“But milady, the valley seems to me a rather unstrategic position,” one minister protests. You nod again, aware that this is something they would have noticed. 

“Nowhere else would give any sort of strategic advantage. They’ve formed a full circle atop the hills, with only a small gap between Deej’a peak and the nearby Darkwalker’s cave. If we attack from anywhere else, not only do we lose strategic advantage and the element of surprise, their forces will quickly surround us, trapping a bubble with no way out.” You speak quickly but forcefully, and the authority in your voice snaps your subordinates into action. But still, you can’t let this all fall on your head when the battle is done. 

“I simply don’t see another way of proceeding,” you sigh, quickly forming a rebuttal in your head as you wait for the ministers to bring up any other points. 

“You’re right, milady. There’s no other way to proceed,” the same minister responds, nodding. 

“I’ll call for the Republic to send reinforcements. They’ll save us,” you sigh, rubbing your temple as a headache brews. You know damn well it won’t save them. They’re trying to rub it in, show just how weak the Republic is and bring Naboo to its knees. You don’t totally understand the motive, but then again, with the Separatists there isn’t always a clear motive. It seems to you that they almost do it just for the sake of sowing chaos.

You just have to get through today, you assure yourself. 

The palace is quickly swept up in action, people waiting with bated breath for the transmission from the troops as they send update after update. You almost can’t listen, heart in your throat as they enter the valley. It’s a death trap, because the Separatists know where they are under the tree cover. 

Anakin once told you about the soldier’s minute. How, when in battle, a minute that would seem miniscule in the grand scheme of things becomes the most important determinant of life and death. The soldier’s minute confronts you now, whispers in your ear to do something and save those poor souls. You’re enclosed by your ugly decisions, and the cage that they’ve formed seems to be tightening around you. You could intervene, jump in and give them that extra minute, and the thought almost spreads to your limbs to take root before you make eye contact with Reyna. The mere sight of her threatening face is enough to give you pause.

And then the soldier’s minute is over. Comms channels are flooded with the holos of panicked soldiers, each reporting news of a series of blasts that had wiped out the leaders of the charge. Agonized screams and the sound of pure panic fills the room, and the leaders sit in solemnity and horror as you watch it unfold in real time. 

Anakin. I need Anakin, he can fix this. But he’s not here, is he? You bite your knuckle as you try to suppress your tears. 

“They could see them,” you eke out, remembering your position in this massacre. You force a shocked expression but the guilt comes naturally. You knew some of those soldiers. Some of them were young. And you killed them. 

You meet Reyna’s eyes again, and while distrust still lingers in her eyes, she nods in mild approval. 

You’ve stained your conscience forever, all for the mild approval of the Separatists. The reality of the situation makes you want to laugh, despite there being no humor in the situation. 

“Call the Gungans. Call the Republic again,” you command, nails digging into your palms as you blink away tears. Maintain your facade of control. 

“Milady, the Gungans will not get involved in this battle, as they fear risking too many of their own army. We’ve called the Republic, but it… they’re not coming, Milady. No one is coming,” the kingdom’s commander in chief says, resigned. 

The room is bathed in a stiff, uncomfortable silence. It’s as though the ghosts of your dead soldiers are in the room, packing it in, suffocating you as you watch the massacre unfold until the last commlink has been lost. The ministers leave, one by one, until it’s just you and Reyna in the room. You’re filled with dread at the thought of talking to her, borne of the awkwardness and her threat from earlier to both you and Anakin. 

“I still do not trust you,” Reyna hisses from the corner of the room. You can’t hold back your reaction— the emotional toll that your actions today took on you have wiped clean your composure and ability to rise above her instigating. 

“I couldn’t give less of a damn if you trust me or not, Reyna. But frankly, I do wonder why it matters to you so much? Each Separatist is here because we believe in a cause. You, however, have an obsession that seems like it drives you to total madness. Distrusting me, the person who was put in the position to complete this mission, seems like a rather miserable way of living, my lady Reyna,” You snap. You hold her in your gaze as she blinks, affronted, her body snapping away from you in shock. 

“I care because unlike you, my queen, Naboo has stolen from me. I have reason to care, reason to give my life to this cause. Naboo took my family away from me. After the Raxus address, many years ago, my uncle and father voiced their support of Count Dooku. Publicly. And for that, they were punished.” Reyna’s voice wavers, her bottom lip wobbles, but it’s all so practiced that you know she’s bluffing. 

“You lie.” A glint forms in her eye when you call out the falsehood, smiling broadly as she moves to exit the room. 

“Maybe I do, milady, or maybe I don’t— again, I don’t trust you, so what does it matter?” Reyna winks at you almost playfully before she disappears into the hallway, leaving you alone with your guilt and sorrow. 

It’s almost worse.  

~~~

The conversation between you and Anakin is stifled that night. He doesn’t even bother putting up the Noise-Dampening Bubble like he does every night, talking to you coolly as if the massacre hadn’t happened just hours before. His nonchalance shocks you, the way it sounds as though he truly doesn’t care about what happened. It doesn’t fit the Anakin you know, and you’re thoroughly confused but ready to put it all behind you as you lay down. 

Dreams pull you under— shadowy, cool darkness and the vague feeling of guilt follows you as you journey into your subconscious. You find yourself in the blurred dreamscape staring at the faces of the soldiers you knew and sent to their deaths, a blaster in your arms as they stare at you, seemingly trapped behind a pane of glass. Your arm raises of its own accord and fires into the glass, raining shards in the space between you and the soldiers. Once, twice, thrice you fire at them and they each fold like the train of your skirts, bones snapping and flesh mangling in order to crudely resemble the softness of your luxurious regal dresses. Horror fills you as you stare at the bodies and you wake up with a start, gasping and clutching the sheets as you instinctively seek for Anakin in your fear. He’s already awake, moving about in the shadows of the room before he lifts his hands up, presumably setting up a bubble so you can converse freely. He turns to you, tossing a cloak at the bed before donning his own cloak. 

“Get dressed, quickly,” He hisses at you, pacing over to the window and unlatching it as you fumble to get it over your arms and slide out of the bed clumsily. 

“What’s going on?” You ask, your voice raspy from the rapidly-fading daze of sleep. 

“Don’t ask questions, and just come here. Quickly, we don’t have much time,” he responds, climbing onto the railing of the balcony and holding his hand out to you.

“Anakin, we’ll fall!” You whisper back. 

“Forget all that. Do you trust me?” He asks, gentler this time as you take his hand and nod. Then he pulls you over to him and hurtles the both of you towards the ground. You gasp sharply as the wind rushes around you— you knew he was mad at you, but killing you seems excessive! The howl of the air around you slowly quiets as he catches your descent, hovering the both of you above the ground gently before he lowers you completely, taking your hand and running to the armory before you even have the chance to recover. 

The lights are off when you enter, with no personnel as you’d given them all the rest of the night off to recover from the ordeal that the Separatists had put you through. After all, you knew that they weren’t exactly planning anything else. Anakin guides you to a Skyflipper— you recognize its design to be the same craft that he’d taken you on your date so many moons ago, and the nostalgia twists your lips into a wistful smile. That day, the two of you had flown and it had been a happy occasion, very different from the situation that you’d found yourself in now. 

Despite the silence between you as Anakin sets up the Skyflipper without explanation, you’re glad you’re with him. You’ve been a little bit lost without him. He doesn’t look back at you as he sets off, making sure the sound of the craft was as silent as possible before sending the two of you sailing over the green terrain of Naboo. 

You don’t say anything, just allowing yourself to be by him as night closes around you. The terrors of yesterday feel distant and faint when he’s next to you, which is an altogether different terror that you don’t want to unpack quite yet. No, you just want to enjoy being next to him for now. Makes your mind go quiet. 

“We’re here,” Anakin says grimly as he lands the Skyflipper. The trees that spread over the glass paneling make you acutely aware that you are in the valley, right where you had ordered the soldiers to enter. 

“Anakin…” You murmur, your throat dry. He doesn’t listen, barrelling past you to open the ramp and step into the wilderness. You have no choice but to follow him, unease rolling in your stomach as he walks ahead. 

“You have to understand, milady,” He urges, standing in front of the fallen as he turns to you. “I have a duty as a soldier to stop this.” 

“I don’t see how I can,” You whisper, your gaze falling upon the bodies of your people. 

“You don’t have to know how,” He responds quietly, moving towards you and for a second it seems like he was going to comfort you somehow before he stops, squeezing his hands awkwardly. “You just have to try.” 

“But what’s the point?” You ask. “If I try to stop them, they’ll find out and they’ll kill the both of us.” 

“We just have to make sure they don’t find out. Milady, look at me,” he commands you softly, taking your hand in his. “That could have been me.” You exhale harshly at his words but you know he’s right— you have to shed your fear of being caught and prevent as much harm as you can, but you’re also going to have to stay without suspicion. You need to do both. 

“We’ll figure it out,” you affirm, rubbing the bridge of your nose with your finger. “Never again will this happen, Anakin.” 

“We’re in this together, milady,” Anakin says. “So what do we do now?” 

“Call General Kenobi,” you order. “We’re gonna need some reinforcements.”

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 4

series masterlist

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pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader

series summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni! ageless blogs dni! none this chapter but the series will have eventual smut, canon-level violence and just general warnings.

It’s been a week since you and Anakin last spoke. Or even made eye contact, really. Everytime that your eyes accidentally lock, you both whip your heads the other way, awkwardly remembering the closeness between the two of you. You know it’s wrong— newlyweds shouldn’t be playing bashful lovers, but goodness, his mouth on your skin in such an intimate manner had lingered in your thoughts for far too long. 

Keep reading

[rogershoe]

If u know of any good anakin skywalker fics (tumble, ao3, anything) pls pls let me know in the comments!! Or even writers who write him ❤️ thank youuuu

[distortionbobble]

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anakin skywalker

Royal Flowers Series Masterlist

amongst the stars 1 2 3

Pain Is Pleasure

A Knight to Remember (fantasy au)

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Series Masterlist

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

[justadmiringanakin-deactivated2]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬

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sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: summer is finally here. you've been counting down the days. every july for the last ten years you've joined anakin and his mom on a week-long camping trip. you expected it to be the same way it always had been: you crush on anakin, and he is perfectly oblivious. but now that you're 18, everything has changed and anakin has something to confess.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 11.5 k (im so so sorry)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 18+ MINORS DNI | modern au | athlete!anakin | fem!reader | explicit language | smut (p in v, fingering) | dubious consent | reader loses virginity | make out sessions | body worship | possessive anakin | emotional manipulation | slight coercion | infidelity?

inspired by hayden's character scott barringer from higher ground & the song "ticks" by brad paisley

This is your last summer home after graduating high school. Your last camping trip with your family and the Skywalkers. You’ve gone every year as a group to the state park to swim in the creek, roast marshmallows around the campfire, and sleep under the stars in spacious tents.

This might be the last time you ever see Anakin.

In August, you’re moving across the country for college. 

He’s going to be a sophomore at a nearby junior college, already well-established and super popular there from being on the baseball team.

Everyone knows that baseball boys are cuter than football players. And Anakin fits right in.

You sit in the passenger seat of your mom’s Ford truck as she drives along the rocky dirt road. A glance at Google maps confirms you're only five minutes away. Five minutes away from seeing Anakin again. It has been a year since the last time you saw him. Actually, the last time was last year’s camping trip.

Your mom barely agreed to go this year. The only reason she said yes was because you promised her this would be the last time. She’d been reluctant to go ever since your dad took off with his secretary.

He’s a real cliché for sure. But you are glad that he is gone. He never liked Anakin. And you do. Desperately.

This might be your last chance to tell Anakin how you feel about him. You don’t care that he has a girlfriend. The really pretty one with long brown hair, a perfect body, a pretty face. The girl who’s always on his Snap stories. Anakin was yours long before he was hers.

You went to the same middle school and high school. And growing up you did everything together as friends. His friendship was always enough for you because you believed one day it would lead to more… until and you saw him all over his social media accounts in the arms of other girls at parties and then his current girlfriend. The thought makes you sick despite the fact that he’s going to be yours and yours alone all weekend.

Even if he rejects you, you know you can move on easier knowing that you tried.

The next time you look up from your phone you see the camping ground, the same spot your families always choose. From the window, you spot Ms. Shmi unloading the bags from the trunk, and Anakin setting up their tent already. He is shirtless and dewy from perspiration. The heat is insufferable this year.

Global warming’s a real bitch.

And yet, maybe there is one benefit of it. The intense heat is likely to mean Anakin leaving his shirt behind most of the day.

Anakin stands tall and holds his hand over his eyes as he watches your truck pull in next to their car. He tosses the hammer aside and runs to meet you and your mom. Like a daydream, he’s waiting right by your door. You grab your backpack and open the door slowly, hoping to avoid hitting him in the gut.

As he opens his arms to hug you, his leanness and height is almost jarring. He wasn’t ever quite this fit. When you hug, his body is hard and strong, sticky from sweat, and smells of the outdoors and musky cologne. His hair is longer and curlier. And you like the bleached tips of his hair.

“Missed you,” he whispers a little too close to your ear.

The heat he breaths over your neck induces a series of whole-body shivers. Your heart is burning from being so close to him again, and maintaining composure around a boy so physically attractive unnerves you. So, you squirm away from the hug and settle for holding both his large hands.

“Ani, how’ve you been?”

“Great,” he replies with a smile. “I was looking forward to this all year. School’s been tough, and I’m thankful to have a break.”

You roll your eyes. “All that partying. I can imagine.”

His grin is full of mischief. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I see your stories,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Partying is overrated. I’d rather be here with you.” His words, coupled with the way he’s fixated on you, send you spiraling into a place where you can’t breathe.

He laughs at your surprise. “What, no parties for you?”

You shake your head still reeling yourself in.

“Boys?” He seems especially curious about that topic.

“Nope.”

He smiles smugly and squeezes your hands tighter. “Good. Wouldn’t want your first time to suck. Save it for college. College guys are probably a little more… practiced.”

You wrinkle your nose at the new direction this conversation is going. The topic of sex has always made you feel inadequate. Is it really that obvious you’re still a virgin? You can hardly blame yourself for that. No one at school appealed to you quite the way Anakin did, and you always hoped you were saving it for him.

“Doubtful,” you comment. “They’re still boys.”

“Some of us are pretty… adept.” Anakin’s eyes bore into yours with, not a spark, flames of passion that warm you. “Given a chance, I think most guys would take a swing at you.”

You laugh sarcastically. “Hilarious.” Stupid baseball innuendos. “Grow up. You act like such a child. Always have.”

“I am grown up!” he retorts. “Let’s go set up now since you’re being mean. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Hands interlaced, he leads you over to the campsite. His tent is mostly up. Unwillingly, you admire his work. Every year he’s become more proficient at putting up the tents. There are no instructions scattered about the ground this time.

“I should go get my tent.” You wriggle your hand free from his strong grasp.

“I’ll help you. They’re kinda heavy,” he insists.

At your truck, Anakin lowers the tailgate for you. Never has he given you this much attention. Something… is most certainly up with him.

Simultaneously, you both reach for the tent bag strap, and your fingers brush against each other. Despite holding his hand only moments ago, you shiver from the contact and retract your hand close to your body, Anakin seizing the opportunity to take the bag.

“I’ve got this, y/n.” He looks so masculine with the large tent bag over his right shoulder. “Get your things and come help.”

Once you grab your mini suitcase, you return to the campsite. By the time of your arrival, he’s completed his tent and has started putting yours together. He’s kneeling on the grass in his jeans and stretching out one of the tent strings.

He has a plastic tack in his mouth. “Dude, hand me that please.” He points at the hammer a couple feet away from where he sits.

He called you dude.

What would possess him to call you that as if you’re just one of the guys.

You stand there, shattered. 

In a sulky mood, you retrieve the tool for him and drop it in his hands. And to make his remark all the more confusing, Anakin winks at you.

“Thanks,” he says, pounding the tack into the ground. You wish you were that tack.

While you were “helping” Anakin, Ms. Shmi approaches you and gives you a big hug like she’s missed you too.

“I’m so glad we’re all here,” she exclaims, holding onto you tightly. “I think you’ve gotten taller since I’ve seen you last!”

Her comment is humorous to you because you’ve been the same height since you were 15, but you refrain from that truth. “Really? Maybe that’s why Anakin seemed so short to me this year.”

He looks up at you from over his shoulder “I’ve actually grown an inch in the last six months, Shrimp.”

Of course, you noticed every way he had grown since last year. And it isn’t fair how handsome he is. He was always good-looking, but he looks almost grown up. Every bit a young man now.

He’s nearly hallway completed setting up your tent. You wish you could share one with him like you used to when you were kids. But you aren’t kids anymore. Anakin certainly no longer has the body of a little kid.

He’s so grown up.

“You really don’t have to do that, Ani,” you say, laying a hand on his shoulder. “My mom and I can—”

“Nope. I started. You have to let me finish.” His bright grin is full of mischief. “Besides, you’re a girl. This is men’s work.”

“That’s so sexist of you to say, let alone even think of!” 

“It was a joke,” he sighs. “I know exactly how to annoy you.” His jaw clenches for a moment. “I bet none of the guys at your school know you like that.”

Again, with the boys in your life thing. Why is he thinking about that? Why does he look angry now? He couldn’t… have feelings too. Anakin has a girlfriend. Mia. That’s her name.

She’s skinny, tan, and has shiny brown hair. You remind yourself how pretty she is to avoid getting your hopes up about the small sliver of a chance that he might like you back.

“I know you meant it as a joke.”

His little smirk and endearing gaze returns. “I know you know.”

Around three in the afternoon, when the day is at its hottest, you and Anakin decide to go for a swim in the creek. You’ve both made your tents and collected wood for tonight’s bonfire. Your mom and Ms. Shmi were laying out on tanning beds soaking up the sun. A horrific idea to you, who never refuses sunscreen.

You bring a tote bag storing silicone ear plugs, plenty of sunscreen, and a swimsuit. It’s a bikini top with a little swim skirt. Nothing too scandalous, yet showy enough to hopefully catch his eye.

Anakin throws a pair of trunks over his bare shoulder before walking down the sandy path to the creek. His neck and back are pink from the sun. He’s so tan. But he can burn severely if he doesn’t protect himself from the UV rays.

When you reach the bank outlining the dark creek water, you demand he wear sunscreen.

He shudders at your suggestion. “It’s greasy!” he complains. “Yours leaves a gross white cast and weird texture.”

“Anakin Skywalker! Do you want to burn and blister? Or get melanoma?”

He pouts. “No.”

“That’s what can happen if you don’t wear sunscreen.” You prod at his back, and he winces. “You’re already burning.”

“That hurts!” he whines, slapping your hand away.

“Aww poor baby,” you tease. Honestly, you didn’t know his skin was sensitive there. “It’s just going to get worse.”

He glares at you. “Fine. But I’m not putting it on myself. If you don’t want me to get burned, you’ll have to do it.”

Your lip quivers at the thought of helping in a way that would require you to rub sticky, white lotion all over his back, his chest, his neck, his arms, even his thighs. You swallow hard, already trembling. Imagine how much of a mess you’ll be when you’re touching him.

He raises an eyebrow. His hands are on his hips. “Well?”

This is probably the only chance you’ll have to touch him so intimately. So, how could you not do what he asks of you? This is like a wet dream of yours come true.

With a hand in your tote, you shuffle through the assorted items to find the sunscreen. You leave your bag in the sand and approach him with the bottle in hand.

“Let’s do your back first,” you croak.

Anakin sighs and turns around, his back facing you. Baseball has done him a favor. He’s all muscle now. Squeezing out a generous white glob onto your palm, you slap it on his skin. Hesitantly, you smooth the lotion sunscreen over his shoulders and trap muscle. His skin is hot and soft, but a little bumpy from his moles and the occasional infected pore. He still has acne scars on his back

To coat his shoulders well, you tiptoe and stretch your arms up high to reach them.

“Put a little muscle into it, Shrimp.”

You fake an annoyed groan because, in reality, digging into his muscle with your fingers and nails was a delicious treat. Continuously, your mind is invaded by inappropriate thoughts. You imagine lying under him and clawing at his back, leaving bright red scratches all over his skin.

When you’re finished with his back, you squirt out sunscreen on each of his arms and massage it in, worshiping every beautiful dip and curve. Rubbing sunscreen on his chest is almost too much for you. His abs are even more difficult to get through with a straight face, but somehow, you maintain composure.

Anakin’s watching you closely the entire time.

“Is that enough?” he asks. He may be sweating more.

“No. I have to do your legs and your face.”

You’re staring into his bright blue eyes, and he’s looking down at himself. “Uh… do my face.”

“Can you kneel? It would make it easier. You’re tall, remember?” you say, rolling your eyes.

He obliges, and while he’s looking up at you, his face is all red. Is it wrong to hope it’s not just from the sun?

You smooth the lotion on his handsome face, admire his jaw and pretty lips. His eyelashes are long like a girl’s. They flutter when he blinks.

Your thumb traces the curve of his lower lip slowly, taking him in, wondering how it might feel to kiss him. Mia kisses him all the time. You wish you were her.

As he’s kneeling before you, head leaned back to look up, and you looking down at him directly, your faces are simply too close for your comfort. You blend in the last drop of sunscreen in a hurry to put more distance between you both.

“All done.” You help him stand, and he dusts off the sand. “Now for your legs.”

Alarmingly, his eyes widen. “Yeah, I gotta go pee. I’ll be right back.”

Before you can utter a word, he sprints off into the woods, and you lose sight of him.

For a few minutes, you wait around, pacing back and forth. In that time, you change into your swimsuit and apply your own sunscreen. Anakin’s just a big old baby refusing to do it himself.

Several more minutes pass, and you wonder if he’s left you hanging. Maybe he has better things to do than entertain you, although he’s the one who begged you to swim with him. So, you decide to wait as long as it takes. On the edge of the bank, you sit in the sand with your toes in the cool, murky water.

Hear footsteps in the sand, you look back and find him running to you. In a matter of moments, he returns to your side.

Panting and flushed, he sits beside you. “Sorry,” he says.

“You okay?”

He doesn’t look at your face. And from his expression, you gather that he’s ashamed of something. “Yeah. My girlfriend called.”

At first, his words wound you until you remember he left it behind. Vividly, you recall him tossing it in the tent just before you left for the creek. Why would he lie about that?

“No problem,” you reply normally. You don’t want to press him for more information, although you are incredibly curious.

“I can do my legs,” he says, holding out his hand. A little reluctantly, you hand him the bottle and watch him spread the lotion on his legs.

Unable to watch him anymore, infuriatingly jealous of his hands, you crawl over to your canvas tote and dig out the silicone ear plugs. You carefully form them to your ears. Taking two more from the tray, you force one into each of Anakin’s ears. Since he’s sitting, you can reach him.

He jerks away. “What the heck are these for?”

You laugh at his reaction. “To protect your ears from flesh eating amoebas.” 

He scoffs but doesn’t take them out. “You really came prepared this time.”

“I tried.”

Anakin eyes you up and down. “Nice swimsuit.”

Flustered, you cross your arms over your chest. “Uh, thanks.”

“You need sunscreen?”

“I did it while you were using the bathroom.” Although, you suspected that’s not at all what he was doing. Maybe he did go back to camp to check his phone.

He hung his head. Again, with shame. “Right.” After tossing the near-empty bottle aside, Anakin wades into the creek.

He holds his arms out to you. “C’mon, Shrimp, the water’s so nice.”

Timidly, you step close to him. The current is weak. You hold his hands and pretend to be scared, hoping that he might console you, but the moment he finds an opportunity, he snatches you up in his arms and holds you in the air. He wades forwards through the creek water.

You know exactly what he’s going to do. So, you kick your legs and thrash about. He’s not going to let you go easily. Still, you give it your best shot. You only admit defeat when he swings you back and tosses you into the water.

You crash into the muddy bottom, and you stand up wiping your eyes. “You’re a brat!”

“Tell me you hate me. Go on,” he taunts.

You almost say it. If the words left your lips, you know he’d interpret it as a joke. It would be a joke. But for some strange reason, you can’t joke about that. You love him. “I don’t hate you. Not one bit,” you admit.

He shifts in the water to get close to you. “So, you love me then.”

“I—I guess.”

With rosy cheeks, he nods, acknowledging your admittance. “Let’s get in the fucking water.” Taking your hand, he drags you along deeper and deeper into the creek where you must tread water to stay afloat.

From spending summers here or at the pool, you’re more than capable of swimming. You back float over the water’s surface and look up at the clouds. Anakin does the same. He points to a cloud straight above your head.

“It’s shaped like your boobs,” he crudely remarks.

The cloud is grossly misshapen and uneven. You know this is his way of telling you he cares. Making fun of people is his love language. “That’s so sweet of you. I’m amazed you know how they look since you’ve never seen me naked since I grew them.”

“We could fix that right now,” he says. You know he’s smiling ear to ear.

“Anakin… can I ask you something?”

He noticeably stalls.

“You’ve just been acting… different,” you explain.

“Y/n, don’t worry about me. What did you want to ask?” he speaks calmly close to your ear.

You return to treading water, and he does the same. You want to read his expressions as you bring up a sensitive topic.

“Tell me what’s up,” he says.

“Well, you’ve been asking me about boys and then making comments about my boobs.” Your stomach tightens. Could you say this? “Asking me if I love you. It’s a little weird to me.”

He stares directly and thoughtfully into your eyes. “Well. I love you. Just wanted to make sure you felt the same.”

You scoff and turn aside, unable to hold the intense gaze for long. “That’s not it.” You know the love he’s talking about is platonic only.

“Y/n,” he calls, grabbing your leg as you try to swim away. He pulls you back to him. Anakin is tall enough to stand in the deeper sections of the creek. “That is it.”

“What do you mean?”

He raises a hand to stroke your cheek. The affection is oddly intimate. “I haven’t seen you in a year. We were friends because of our parents. So, I never thought much of our friendship to be completely honest.”

That makes you want to sob uncontrollably. But you decide to let him finish.

“Until two summers ago. When you turned pretty. Sixteen was an incredible year for you. Before then, I always saw you as a little kid. Immature. Whiny. Following me around like a lost puppy.”

You hang your head. He’s not wrong because you were annoying back then. But during that time, you were so lovesick over him and had no clue what to do with those feelings. You still hadn’t figured it out.

But he called you… pretty. He said you were pretty back then. Did he think you were pretty now?

“Y/n, it was wrong how badly I wanted you then. Because… well, you weren’t of age and all. But it figured it would only be two years. Until you were eighteen. Which sounds… predatory. But I’ve been counting down the days. And now, it’s okay if I do this.”

He gives you no time to consider the significance of his ramblings. The one thing your mind comprehends the meaning of is him closing his eyes and kissing you on the mouth. Anakin’s kiss is gentle. His lips are softer and fuller than you thought they’d be. This was all you’d ever wanted for as long as you can remember. And the fact that it’s happening now, you are too stunned to kiss him back.

His mouth devours yours, effortlessly giving rise to deep pleasure in the pit of your stomach. Is this what girls call butterflies? If so, only Anakin had ever put them there.

You’re still processing what happened when he pulls back, leaving your mouth hung open and kinda sore.

The last time you’d been kissed was the summer of eleven. Anakin was thirteen, and he begged to practice with you before he went to high school.

“I want you, y/n. This summer might be our last chance. We’ve known each other for so long. It feels almost natural to—”

“I’m not having sex with you!” Of course, it pains you to say such a thing, as you’re clinging onto his body to stay afloat. You’d only desired him since you discovered your own sexuality. But Anakin isn’t single.

“You’re joking, right? Don’t act like I’m an idiot. I know the way you’ve always looked at me,” he accuses. “I can only imagine how many times you’ve thought about giving it up for me.”

Thousands. Every single night since I was fourteen.

“You have a girlfriend! Which means… I can’t trust you.” And yet more than anything you want to trust him.

“She’s not my girlfriend. Just some girl who I have an understanding with. Just someone to mess around with until you were ready. You’re the girl I want,” he pleads.

“So, she’s nothing to you?”

“Nothing. While you’re everything. I can’t wait any longer. Just give in.” He grabs at your hips and pushes you down onto his erection, your legs parted holding onto his waist.

You squeeze his shoulders. What you’ve always wanted is pressing up against your body. You can feel him.

“You’re the reason I had to go hide in the woods. I’ve never felt so good when you were rubbing your hands all over my body. I couldn’t take it. And I didn’t want you to see the effect you had on me.”

“Ani… I just… this is so—”

“Don’t think about it too hard. I’d rather be exploring your body instead of why this is probably a terrible idea.”

“This is just so sudden.” Your confidence to take what you wanted from him had shriveled like a raisin. You had cold feet just thinking about being intimate with someone, let alone the boy you’d loved half your life. “And I’ve never been with anyone like that before.”

“So? I’ll take better care of you your first time than anyone could. You’re my friend.”

“Friends don’t have sex with each other.”

“Maybe I wanna be more than friends.”

You’re shivering in the water, in his warm arms. “I’ve always wanted more.”

He looks at you knowingly. “And I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long for me to get a grip. But everything can change. We can be together right now. There’s no point in waiting any longer”

“No!” you shout, not thinking, just saying what your gut is telling you. “I’m scared. I think… you’re lying. You just want to be my first.”

He grabs your chin and stares right into your eyes, peering into your very soul. “What’s so bad about that? I like you. And I don’t want anyone else touching what’s always been mine.”

“You’d be… jealous?” That made you even wetter, despite being in the creek.

“Incredibly so. Just the thought of someone even thinking about you like that makes me,” he clenches his jaw, “fucking pissed.”

As he’s holding you, he wades through the water, bringing you back to the sand. He sets you down. He’s on his hands and knees crawling up to you, stopping when your body is between his arms. With his large hands, he pries your legs open at your thighs, and his body falls between them.

You’re shaking, not because you don’t want him, but because you do. And this is wrong. He’s not even your boyfriend. Does he really have no attachment to that other girl? How can you be sure he wants you and not just to hit?

He soothes you with a kiss, his mouth opening over yours, pouring warmth and his sweet love into you. His tongue is soft inside and gentle when it probes the back of your throat.

Everything, all of your senses, starts to fade into pleasure. You’re under him, over him, rolling around in the mud and sand, kissing and licking his body clean. He’s everything you’ve ever prayed for.

He could be yours.

The rough sand sticking to his abdomen gives you brush burns on your stomach as he grinds his hips against you. His body is calling out to yours, pleading for mercy, and begging for an answer that only you have. That only you can give.

“Y/n,” he whispers on your jawline, “can’t wait any more.” His anxious hands start tugging down your skirt.

“I’m covered in sand,” you argue. Wouldn’t it hurt to get sand in your—

“Anakin! Y/n!” a distant voice calls. “Where are you?

The voice belongs to Anakin’s mother, who is solely responsible for ruining your chance with Anakin although you aren’t sure you mind. Admitting you are afraid to Anakin, who is all you’ve ever dreamed of, might result in him denying you forever because of your pitifulness.

But he doesn’t stop. Is he so invested in having you right here, right now that his own mother’s voice has fallen on deaf ears? Is he so overwhelmed in hormonal cravings that he’d risk being caught humping you like a dog?

He is young. Barely twenty. And yet you are surprised at the lack of self-control which ravages your frame in the likes of biting and clawing at your skin in a demanding fury. Like prey, you yield to his every impulse.

“Your mom is coming, Anakin!” you say loudly in his ear.

“Don’t care,” he spits. “I’ve gotta have you.” He shifts off you for a moment, only to rip your skirt from your legs and toss the fabric aside.

“Okay, okay,” you whisper, hating how the precarious position he’s set you in excites you like never before. He’s the boy you’ve always loved. How can you deny him? Maybe Ms. Shmi wouldn’t find you both here.

Like petals of a delicate spring flower, you open your legs for his eyes only. The expression of wonder upon his face touches your racing heart. And for the first time since he’d flung you onto the sand, he pauses to admire you fully.

The way he’s looking at you is all you’ve ever wanted. You’re so close to having everything of your dreams. Yet, a muddy creek is not where you wanted to lose your virginity or have sex with Anakin for the first time.

While Anakin is hypnotized by the image of your legs splayed out for him, you roll out from under him and pick up your skirt along the way. You leap into the creek and swim away from him to reclothe yourself.

He turns over, his face contorted in distress. “Hey, wait! You’d better fucking come right back.”

“You can take care of yourself… like you did in the woods already,” you say back teasingly.

“Nope. That’s what I have you for,” he replies, standing up and stepping into the water. “I can swim faster than you.”

The possibility of him chasing you is more exciting than it should be. “Come and get me, Ani.”

“I’m gonna do both.”

You wrinkle your nose at his crudeness, his foul mouth never failing to disgust you. Anakin catches up to you in the span of a few seconds. And you were in his arms again. He’s laughing, and so are you. Just as he’s leaning down to kiss your lips, you notice his mother in the background waving.

So, you wave back, prompting Anakin to turn around.

“She found us,” you say through gritted teeth.

“Hey, Mom!” he shouts.

“We’re about to start the fire to make lunch! You both need to head back now!” Ms. Shmi announces.

Anakin pouts as he leaves the water. He really doesn’t want to return to camp. His moody gaze reveals to you how badly he wants to be alone with you. And you wish for that too, more than your stomach craves food.

The diffused light of the full moon illuminates the dark woods. Your mom and Ms. Shmi have left you and Anakin alone by the campfire, both returning to their respective tents. For dinner, Anakin seared the fish he caught in the creek, and you made a salad with items brought from the gas station grocery store nearby.

You’re sitting right beside him on a picnic blanket, your shoulders touching. Anakin, who unsurprisingly left his shirt behind, is warm like the fire heat ghosting your face. Things are perfect exactly like this. This would be enough for tonight.

Leaning back on a smooth log with Anakin right beside you and holding a stick from which you roast three puffy marshmallows over the open flame.

But you suspect Anakin has other plans than to simply sit here until the sun comes up.

Your sanity has been teetering on the edge, knowing what plagues Anakin’s body and mind, how his genius is calculating how and when to pull you underneath him. The tension has been there between you since the creek.

You say nothing about it.

He says nothing.

But you both dwell on that high you were so close to achieving together. Some moments you almost taste him.

“They’re burning,” Anakin’s voice awakens you from your reverie. He swipes the stick from your hand before you can stop him.

“What?”

Softly, Anakin blows on the flaming marshmallows. “They’re charred. You can’t eat these.”

“That’s how I like them!” you retort, reaching for the stick.

His arm jerks up over his head faster than you can blink and out of your grasp. “I think it’s disgusting. You’ve eaten half the bag.”

“And?”

“There are better things to shove in your face all night than marshmallows.”

Choosing to ignore his not-so-subtle insinuation, you shake your head. “Doubtful.”

With a glare, Anakin hurls the stick out of sight into the woods. “We’re going for a walk.”

He stands up and offers his hand to assist you. But you don’t budge.

“Why?”

He presses his lips together and tries to intimidate you with his furious eyes. “I wanna show you this spot.”

“Fine. But don’t try anything weird.”

He points to himself. “Who, me?”

You grab his hand, and feeling the warmth from his skin, the roughness of his calluses from baseball, and the size of his hand compared to yours gives you full-body chills.

You lean back and look at him. He looks down at you.

Maybe he feels it too. You wish you had the courage to ask him exactly what he’s feeling right now.

“Let’s go,” he says, naturally taking the lead.

You’re walking along the dirt road together. The moon is brighter than usual. Maybe it’s because the city lights are far away from where you and Anakin exist tonight.

The stars, the moonlit leaves, and yellow fireflies may steal your attention away for a while, but you always, always return to staring upon Anakin’s face. He’s luminous under the brilliant stars.

You admire his smooth skin. His lips. His glossy eyes. Long lashes. Fluffy blonde hair. You love his highlights. They’re so 90s, and it’s perfect for him. 

Being with Anakin makes you feel alive.

If only you could hold onto his hand forever and ever.

“Shrimp, what’s up?” He seems to have noticed you reveling in his presence. “You thinkin’ about me?”

“No,” you snap a little too fast, a little too harshly. It’s very obvious he’s right.

“Sure,” he says, unconvinced. “We’re almost to the spot.”

You’re surprised he drops the subject so quickly. “Oh good.”

Anakin walks a little faster, tugging you along like his annoying little sister. You notice the ground inclining gradually, then severely. Halfway up the hill, you’re having trouble breathing. You can’t keep up with Anakin, who’s probably in the best shape of his life as a college-level athlete.

“Ani, can we slow down? Please?”

“But we’re almost there,” he argues, not decreasing his pace. “C’mon. Just push yourself a bit.”

You roll your eyes and press on. Maybe you want to prove to yourself that you can keep up with him. Or maybe you want to impress him so he’ll have sex with you. Walking behind him, seeing his… assets… you’re only thinking about throwing yourself under him. You’d get on your knees and grovel and beg just to touch his dick.

No one needed to understand the lengths you would go just to have it inside you.

“You’re doing great,” he praises.

And you’re blushing now in the midst of your sweat. “Really?”

He nods. “I can’t wait for you to see this spot.”

It’s just a little further. A silver ring of moonlight escapes the shadow of the hills and touches you and Anakin. Nighttime is truly romantic. Or perhaps it’s your hormones making you burn for romantic intimacy.

“We’re here!” he exclaims. He pulls you faster with the quickening pace of his feet.

When you reach the destination, you find yourself standing near the edge of a cliff overlooking the creek. The waves of moonlight in the water sparkle under the night sky. And at just the right moment, Anakin puts his arm around you, guiding you away from the precarious edge and into the safety of his embrace.

“What do you think?” he asks.

Your gaze returns to him, where it belongs. “It’s wonderful. Thank you for showing me this.”

“Wanna sit?” Anakin crouches on the ground, and then kicks his legs off the edge. He pats the spot beside him.”

Even as you seat yourself, his arm never leaves you. This time he places his hand on your hip and gently grips your side.

“Sometimes,” he begins, “when I come home for the weekend, I take my bike and drive up here.” The bike he referred to is his motorcycle, the one that worries his mom half to death. But you don’t worry. He’s always been good with driving. “I sit here and think about you. For the last two years. I should have shown you my spot sooner, but I wanted to make sure there was something between us. Something real.”

You reach across his lap to hold his hand. “There’s always been something real. We were each other’s first kiss. You’re still the only boy I’ve ever kissed, although I’m sure you’ve kissed plenty of people by now.”

His smile brightened upon your confession. “Me? I’m your only kiss? That time we practiced. You haven’t been kissed since you were eleven?”

Shyly, you nod.

“Well, shit,” he curses breathlessly. “So today was your first real kiss? The one at the creek.”

As if he had to remind you of what happened today. What happened at the water was a miracle.

“It was. Pretty pathetic, I guess.”

Sympathetically, he leans forward to look you directly in the eyes. “Not at all. I think it’s sweet.”

“You’re not going to make fun of me?” You duck your head away.

His hand captures your chin, and he pulls you back. “It makes me feel…special. I’m the only guy you’ve ever kissed. You’ve never been touched by anyone else.” His other hand graces the outer skin of your arm. “Only me.” The possessive way he stares at you is laced with danger, like he is counting down the moments he can claim you as his own in every way.

And that scares you just as much as it excites you.

“Do you want me?” he asks. A simple question, but one that puts him in a position of vulnerability, where you can reject him.

You want to say yes, but the lump of nervousness in your throat demands you say no because if you say yes, Anakin is likely to take that as an open invitation for your body, and the look of pure deamination upon his face is unparalleled.

“C’mon, Shrimp, just admit you do.” He pinches your cheek. 

“I do,” you whisper. “More than anything.”

“Oh my god,” he moans, lurching forward to kiss you

Anakin doesn’t wait around for you to say anything more or make the first move. He grabs you by the neck and smashes his face against yours, pushing your mouth open with his tongue, and reminding you of how desperately he wants to be inside you.

He knows exactly what he wants.

As the kiss transitions into a make out session, Anakin slacks and softens his hold on you, choosing to wrap his arms about your waist instead of keeping his hand tight around your throat. Maybe he noticed you weren’t ready for that.

You’d seen clips of him playing baseball during games, and you know how strong he is and aggressive he could be. And yet, his affection in this moment is soothing. You hold onto him around his neck and pull his body against yours.

In his arms, you cling to each other, and his lips are yours for what feels like hours and hours. You kiss him until your jaw won’t move, until your lips are raw and swollen from his teeth. Finally breaking apart, you breathe together, foreheads resting against each other.

“What time is it?” you whisper.

Quickly, he checks his phone. “Three.”

“We’ve been up here for two hours,” you say, astonished.

“It took us thirty minutes just to get here,” he notes.

Suddenly, it hits you that you’re in the woods of the state park. You remember the signs all over the highway warning of mountain lions and bears before your arrival. A mournful wolf howling far in the distance causes you to jump and grab hold of the nearest thing, which just so happens to be Anakin’s arm.

He laughs at you. “Are you scared, Shrimp?”

“No!” you say, your head turning every which way.

“Do… you wanna head back?” You don’t need to look at his face to know he’s disappointed. You can hear it in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize.

“No big deal. I want you to feel safe.”

“I miss the fire.”

He helps you up and puts his arm around you as you start walking back. “We can roast some more marshmallows if you want. I just don’t want to go to bed anytime soon. I don’t want to leave you.” He kisses your cheek. His lips are still wet. “I wish we could share a tent like we used to. Only, it wouldn’t be like it used to, would it?”

“I suppose not,” you say, trying not to cry when you hear another distant howl.

“Y/n, I just want you so badly.” He huffs. “The things I would do to you if we had a tent to ourselves….”

Despite the numerous earth-shattering kisses you shared, nothing seems to have changed. You and Anakin are back at camp sitting in front of the fire and leaning against the log. Silently, he watches you roast more marshmallows.

You lift your stick out the fire early, before the marshmallows are burnt because you know he hates it when you do that. “You want one?”

With a smirk, Anakin sits up. “If you feed them to me.”

“You act like such a child!”

His eyes widen. “So, you’re not going to.”

Pulling off a toasty marshmallow, you roll your eyes. “Open wide,” you say as if you’re feeding a toddler.

He laughs for a moment and then obeys your command. Eagerly, he eats the dessert you made for him, although he didn’t know that. It is your own little secret because you like them burnt. When he finishes, you offer him another one. This time he grabs your wrist and steals the marshmallow away from your fingers with his mouth. Eyes boring into yours, He holds your hand up in the air while he chews. And once he’s done, he leans forward, smiling mischievously, and sheaths your fingers in his mouth between his soft lips.

To say you’re burning up is an understatement. The fire’s hot. The air is hot. His mouth is too, in more ways than one.

“Ani,” you begin to protest, but you mute yourself, wanting to see how far he’ll try to take this.

At first, he’s just licking your fingers clean of marshmallow, but then he tilts closer to you and shoves your two fingers further down his throat. His pretty eyes flutter shut as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

You’re a loss for words and breath. You can’t breathe. Your only thoughts are he’s so hot and what’s gotten into him.

Anakin’s sucking so hard you wonder if your nails will pop off. When will he tire?

Doesn’t his jaw hurt?

With the silliest grin, he pauses and pulls your wrist away. Those two fingers are glistening under the moon and in the firelight. Hazy, your eyes look back at his face. The blue of his irises gleams orange from the fire, and he’s staring hungrily at you.

“That’s what I want you to do for me,” he murmurs. “What I’ve always wanted.”

No one has ever looked at you so sinfully, and his demeanor is frightening. Barely able to hold yourself up, you crawl away, little by little. “I—I don’t think… I’m ready.”

Anakin pursues you. “I think you are.”

Faster, you crawl away, and while he permits the distance, his eyes are alight with excitement. To him, this is a game

And now you’re afraid because that means he doesn’t know you like you thought he did. Reaching out, he holds down your feet before you escape him.

“Y/n, you can lie to your friends, you can lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me,” he warns. Continuing to hold you down so you can’t get away, Anakin hovers over you and smiles. His joy makes you sick to your stomach. “You want me. You said so yourself.”

When he tries to kiss you again, you lift your hand and smack him firmly on the jaw. “Stop!” you whisper. You can’t scream because you’ll wake both your parents.

Confusion washes over his face as he backs off. “Y/n… I thought… you were—”

“I do want you, Anakin. You’re right. But not like this,” you cry. “You’re not thinking about me. You just want to get laid.”

He frowns, maybe a little offended. “So?”

“I want it to be special.”

He snorts at you. “There’s nothing special about sex. It just feels good.”

You’re about to break into a sob. “Ani, I thought you said—earlier, you said it was special that you were going to be my first.”

As if now disgusted by you, he stands up and brushes off his shorts. “I couldn’t care less if you shack up with every guy you know. You’re stupid if you believe that sex is special.”

Your vision is blurry with the tears that flood your eyes. “Why did you say that then?”

He turns away. “You’re right. I just wanted to get in your pants. I’ve never liked you like that. That whole story I told you about wanting to fuck you when you were sixteen… a total lie. I just haven’t had sex in a month because my girlfriend lives out of state.”

Your chest heaves. You want to scream. “Get out of my sight!”

Instead of apologizing for how he’s hurt you, he just smiles a deliberately cruel smile. “You’re so stupid.”

You collapse onto the blanket and toss and turn as you cry. Anakin was a terrible boy. Why did you ever think you liked him? Why did you let him kiss you?

You still want him because you are pathetic and stupid. Maybe it is ridiculous that you saved yourself for him. You denied yourself every opportunity for a boy who only sees you as a plaything.

You miss the Anakin you used to know. The one who was always cracking jokes, flicking your cheeks, throwing rocks at you when he caught you daydreaming, and stuffing his face with marshmallows until his stomach hurt. You miss that Anakin. Who he is now is a stranger.

Anakin wastes a couple days ignoring you and spends all his time out in the woods. You stay at camp, reading in a beach chair and listening to your mom and Ms. Shmi gossip.

This afternoon, the topic of conversation is vastly more interesting than your book. You hide your face in it as you eavesdrop. Ms. Shmi is divulging top secret information about Anakin and college to your mom. They don’t think you can hear what they say.

“Anakin almost dropped out of school this past semester,” Ms. Shmi said to your mother.

“Really?”

“Oh yes. He’s no longer on the baseball team. He was completely heartbroken when Mia broke up with him. This was after he forgave her for cheating on him with one of the other players.”

Your mother gasped. “Why would he give her another chance?”

“I’m not sure. He never said. I just assumed he really liked her. I never got to meet her though.”

“Anakin’s a handsome boy. I’m sure he’ll find someone,” your mother replied.

“I told him not to drop baseball. Playing college had been his dream since he was in elementary school. But I don’t think he could take seeing his ex with one of his teammates. He told me she never came to the games when they were together. But now that she’s dating the other guy she even goes to the practices.”

“How awful.”

“I know.”

You’ve heard quite enough, enough to go find him. 

You clap your book shut and grab your backpack before taking off for the woods. Your first instinct is that Anakin was in his special spot on the cliff. Initially, that’s where you are heading to. Then something he said to you the night he showed you the spot makes you think that’s the last place he’d be.

I sit here and think about you.

As he broods over your rejection, why would he linger somewhere that reminds him of you.

You check out the creek first. But he’s not there. You have no idea where else he could be. The creek is your typical hang out spot. The only other place is… oh god.

The cave.

The summer of thirteen. You and Anakin discovered a cave in the side of a cliff. He went in to explore, and you refused to follow him because you were terrified of the dark. You still are, but you’ve gotten used to pretending you’ve grown out of it.

You waited hours for him to get back. You cried out for him. And none of your parents were around. So, you went in after him, which is still the bravest thing you’ve ever done. Luckily, it was a single pathway, making it easier to find him. When you went in farther than you ever thought possible, you found him.

Anakin was hammering away at the wall. He’d thought he saw a diamond. His hands were bleeding from trying to pull it out because he wanted to give it to you.

Somehow, you convinced him to leave it. And he did. For years.

Each following summer, you and he visited the cave to laugh about the time you thought he got lost.

So, now you run to the cave. It’s miles away, but you don’t falter once. Your adrenaline and your love for him is enough to keep you going.

Wading across the shallow stream, you approach the cave. Should you call out his name? Or would that make him run?

Casting your fear of the dark aside, you go in alone, only this time you don’t know if he’s waiting for you. Your feet move swiftly down the cave pathway.

You cover your mouth when you find him, his bleeding hands holding the large diamond. He doesn’t look at you when you crouch down in front of him. Even when you run your hands through his curly hair he doesn’t acknowledge you.

“Anakin, I know you’re hurting. I’m sorry about Mia.” You continue to stroke his head.

He rolls the diamond around his bloody palm. “Did my mom tell you?”

“I heard her tell my mom.”

Finally, he looks at you. As if he’s been crying a long time, his eyes are red. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Maybe not. But I wanted to.”

“Why?”

Setting your backpack on the ground, you unzip the front pocket to find your first aid kit. “Anakin, I don’t believe all those things you said to me. You don’t think I’m stupid.” You rip open an alcohol wipe. “This is going to sting.”

Holding his hand, you drag the wipe across his cuts. Anakin hisses from the pain, though he doesn’t fight you.

“I don’t.”

You smile to yourself. He had always been known for his rash behavior, and sometimes he hurts people because of his inability to control his emotions. You aren’t excusing him, but understanding his shortcomings helps you forgive him. When he’d called you stupid for believing in love, you know he was projecting his feelings about himself onto you.

“We don’t have to talk about what happened. I just want you to know that I still love you,” you say, placing a large bandage over his palm. Offering your hand to him, you request his other, the one clenching onto the diamond.

He drops it in your hand, and you place it in your backpack. “Finally got it out,” Anakin notes, smiling for the first time.

“Do I want to know what you did?” you ask

He shakes his head. “I want you to have it.”

“No, you should keep it.”

Anakin flicks your forehead, prompting you to look up at him. “One day, it might be useful.”

You aren’t sure exactly what he is referring to, but you don’t doubt he is right. After cleaning his wounds, you apply another bandage.

As he stands, you laugh at his pants, wet from the floor of the cave. He looks down and shrugs.

“When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

“Silly boy.”

Everything went back to normal after you confronted him. Days passed without further conflict between you and Anakin.

You go fishing in his kayak, take your bikes on the trail, and eat plenty of marshmallows, while you’re trying to forget you’ve both confessed feelings for each other, afraid you might lose him again. Maybe you are only meant to be friends. And that’s okay because a life absent of him is more detrimental to your happiness than never kissing him again. 

Tonight, somehow, he convinced you to bike around one of the small mountains in the state park. Upon discovering a field of wildflowers, you leave your bikes behind to get closer. Under the moon, the flowers are colored in shades of lilac and cerulean. Tufts of dandelions follow the currents of the wind and feather against your skin.

You think this scene is wasted on you and Anakin. The romance of it all belongs to a movie in which you and Anakin are lovers, and he gets down on one knee to ask you to marry him.

Instead, you’re friends. You’d love him forever if given a chance. But you’re not sure he’s interested in loving you outside of sex.

When Anakin offers you his scarred hand, you hesitate and look up at him for reassurance.

He tilts his head in the direction of the flower field. “C’mon.”

You follow him through the field. The grass grows higher than your knees. Anakin holds your hand the entire time. He asks you about life, about your classes, about your dad.

You ask him about Mia, and he tells you the whole story. About how he fell so deeply in love that he refused to see her faults even after she cheated on him with almost every player on the team. He confesses that Mia’s the only girl he’s ever slept with, and he gave her the entirety of himself because he thought it was love.

He says he was too stupid to see he was merely a conquest. After she broke up with him, he became an alcoholic and quit the baseball team.

You hug him when he starts crying in front of you. And he tells you how good it feels to finally tell someone about how sad he really is.

Anakin cries a long time. So, you hold him even longer.

It’s after midnight when you make it back to camp. Anakin’s mood is lighter. Perhaps your therapy session mended his broken state.

You tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. “Goodnight, Ani,” you say and start walking to your tent.

His grasp on your fingers prevents you from leaving. “You can’t go.”

“I do need my sleep, you know.”

Anakin shakes his head. “You could have ticks.”

“Excuse me?”

He’s not smiling. So, you know he’s serious. “We both should check each other. They can carry Lyme disease. And we walked in that field, which wasn’t smart, but I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh.” You hang your head. “I can look over myself.”

He narrows his eyes. “Even your back?”

“No,” you mutter. “But I—I don’t want to take off my clothes.”

“We’ve seen each other naked,” he says, trying to hide a grin. 

“When we were children!”

Anakin pulls at the bottom of your shirt. “You can leave your underwear on, and I’ll just trust you to check in those places.”

Your face is flushed from thinking of him seeing you so bare. “I don’t know.”

Anakin groans, as if getting annoyed with you finally. “I’ve already seen your pussy.”

You raise your hand up to slap him, but he holds your wrist.

“I’ll go first,” he says.

With the fireplace, Anakin quickly strips down to his boxers. Your mouth waters at the sight of his tan skin in the orange glow of the campfire. For a fleeting moment, you dream of soaking every crevice of his body with your tongue. Then maybe he’d finally have some idea of how you’ve longed for him.

“Y/n, I’m waiting.”

“Impatiently,” you scoff. 

Turning on your phone flashlight, you lift his arms and inspect his pits first. Then behind his ears. You take your time with his back, inspecting every dark spot, although all of them turn out to be moles. As you scan over his chest, you make sure you don’t touch him, not even once. Your raging hormones are already making this difficult enough for you. The entire time, Anakin smiles down at you in amusement as if he understands the challenge he’s presented you with. Your sanity comes into question as you imagine every possible way he could be yours tonight. Thinking about what you could do to him is almost too much for you to take.

 He’s right here.

How can you turn your thoughts off? He’s not just some object for your lust. Anakin’s your friend. You love him deeply.

What would he say to the thoughts you’re having?

Actually, he might not mind.

Considering the incinerating gaze he has unleashed while looking at your body, you question if he’s thinking similar thoughts.

“I don’t see anything,” you say, trying to ruin the mood.

He almost jumps when he hears your voice. “Okay. Um. Thanks.”

Seeing that he’s half-lost in thought, you’ve found your escape and start walking towards your tent. “See you tomorrow.”

But you shouldn’t have underestimated him. Anakin’s impossibly quick on his feet and comes in between you and your tent, where your mom currently sleeps.

“Don’t think I’m going to let you get Lyme disease so easily,” Anakin taunts.

You drop your head back and groan. “You’re so frustrating!”

Tugging you closer, he helps himself to unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans. If you wouldn’t have taken initiative first, Anakin would have pulled them down, but you didn’t want him seeing more than your underwear.

You bat his intrusive hands away when he tries to steal your panties. “Don’t!”

He scoffs. “I don’t think you’ll do as good a job as I can.”

“I hope you’re talking about checking for ticks.”

Anakin chuckles. “Yeah, that too.”

“You—you are so—” You squeeze your fists. “Impossible! I want to—”

“Fuck me?”

“I’m not going to say yes.”

Before you can catch him, he pinches your exposed waist. “You didn’t say no either.”

You two share a knowing smile. Nothing needs to be said.

Your own self-control amazes you because you need to kiss him. After you slide your t-shirt over your head, he’s looking at your chest longer than he should, though there is something satisfactory about watching him long for you.

Anakin steps around you and pushes your hair to one shoulder. “I’ll check your back first.”

A sigh of relief leaves your lips, having a breather from those eyes of his. Always looking a little too intently. Does he have any idea how intimidating he is?

You expect him to only take a few seconds to scan over the skin of your back, although you should have known he would do more than just look.

Anakin runs his knuckles over your spine, giving rise to infinite butterflies in the sacred place beneath your stomach. “So smooth,” he whispers, touching you. His voice rises in volume a little when he says, “No ticks yet.”

“T-that’s good.” Your voice falters noticeably. The more he touches you the less you’re able to think, let alone form actual words into sentences.

Because of your incompetence, he lifts your arms for you and checks every dip and curve for those pesky little bugs. As he looks you over, his hands dragging across every inch of you unnecessarily, he’s slowly inching you back to an oak tree nearby the tents. The tree that’s always provided camp with the perfect amount of shade. The tree neither of you were brave enough to climb.

Your back hits the rough bark when he’s trying to peek under your bra. He knows you’ve noticed where he’s looking, but that doesn’t dissuade him from being a creep. With his fingers, he pushes one of the straps off your shoulder.

“You know they hide in the strangest of places, Shrimp,” he murmurs, his lips too close to your skin. He’s almost kissing your shoulder. “Maybe you should take it off.” This time he doesn’t hold back, brushing his perfect lips over you and nipping at your flesh with his teeth.

“I don’t know.”

“I have better eyes,” he mouths against your skin, wiping his saliva all over you with his tongue.

Snaking his hand up your spine, he unhooks your bra, and his eyes are too curious for his own good as it starts to fall. Though your first instinct is to stop him, there is something inside you that needs to see how his expression will change when he looks at you.

 As if to check with you, Anakin glances up at your face, and you respond with a subtle nod, giving him the answer he is seeking.

You watch his head drop as your undergarment hits the ground. He stares at it for a long while, until you clear your throat to urge him to continue. In the heat, you’re shivering, and your body is speckled with goosebumps. But you’ve never let someone undress you before. No one’s touched you before. Not like this.

He’s staring at his own hand as he cups your breasts for the first time. His fingers squeeze you softly at first, but still you wince, not knowing what to expect from him. 

“Don’t be nervous,” he says in your ear. “It’s just me, y/n.”

Just him? Just him? He has no idea who he is to me.

Just everything. He’s always been everything.

Now the boy you’ve always wanted is groping your ass and is lapping your chest in broad strokes with his tongue. He buries his face against your sternum between your breasts that he’s so fascinated by.

“You don’t know how long I’ve thought about this. Feels like my whole life,” he rambles. “You’re better than I thought you’d be.”

“Really?” you whisper.

“You have nice tits,” he says plainly.

A shameful little moan is pushed from your lips when he presses into your body with his.

“And a perfect ass,” Anakin continues with a heavy-handed squeeze. “If I don’t hurry up… I’m not sure if I’ll make it.”

Perhaps it was your unfamiliarity with intimacy, but you aren’t entirely sure what he meant by that until his fingers slip under the crotch of your panties, immediately drawn to your clit like a magnet. The sensation from his touch, so intense, shoots up through you and detonates in the pleasure center of your brain. You gasp and clutch onto his arms and almost cry.

“What?” he asks, genuinely confused at your reaction. “Did that… hurt?”

You sniffle and try not to get emotional with him. “It feels so good.”

 The minute smile he gives in return melts you as you reach up to touch his hair.

“Don’t stop,” you say.

Anakin immediately pulls you into a hug, holding you up between him and the oak tree. He strokes his fingertips against the slit of your folds, as if preparing you for what’s to come. You're amazed how easily they fit inside. You hadn’t realized you were so wet already, but you’d wanted him for so long.

He exhales softly in your ear. “You’ve gotta breathe, y/n. Relax. You’re really tense.”

He’s barely moving his fingers.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” he says.

You pepper kisses against his shoulder and breathe him in slowly. He’s… being sweet to you. Gentle even. As much as he can. “I want to see you.” Your voice is shaky as those words leave your lips.

Anakin pulls away from you and keeps his face close as he looks at you. “Just be patient with me. I’ve been told I’m not actually very good at this.” His blue eyes are glassy.

“I don’t care,” you answer, cupping his face between your hands. “I love you, Anakin. There’s no one else in the world I’d rather have this with.” You wipe his tears for him.

“Stop it, you’re going to make me cry,” he mutters, very embarrassed.

“Sorry,” you apologize.

Following a slight eye roll, he pushes you firmer against the tree, holding you down with one arm and fingering you gently with the other. He’s kissing your lips at the same time in a harmony that’s brilliant to you. Why would he say he wasn’t good at this? Then again, you don’t have anyone to compare him to, but you aren’t sure you wanted that anyway.

He’s always been the one.

You expected this to hurt, but his fingers don’t. His thrusts were cautious and caring. And his previous experiences must have helped him out because he knew exactly where to touch you to make you feel like you’re drowning in him. And the real thing hasn’t even started.

Your body starts to tighten, and relaxing and normal breathing becomes more challenging. The pace of your breaths turns ragged and sharp. The feeling he’s creating inside you is overflowing your frame, leaving in small bursts when you moan or somehow manage a breath. Your nails are tearing his skin from holding onto him so tightly.

All it takes to break the dam of your pleasure is his voice, which calls your name in the most possessive of ways. You know that you’re his.

He’s your tempter and your savior.

Heaven or hell. 

If you’re with him, you don’t care where he’s leading you to, even if it is to your demise.

The love you’ve endured for him and him alone finally has come to a gratifying end and makes way for a deeper, soulful longing, one that regrets the time wasted without him.

Anakin’s lips wash away every memory of loneliness you’ve ever had and replace it with the memory of your times together. Being connected like this might not mean anything at all to him, but it means everything to you. And you’ll never forget this night and the way he’s loving you.

Soon, he’s shifting out of his underwear. You’re both naked, and there’s beauty in that vulnerability. Remembering how arrogant he was during his games, you had thought he would be so confident in showing you how much of a man he’s become and how his body naturally reacts from touching yours too much.

But what you see is that he’s nervous too. His face is beaming red, a color only intensified by the campfire dancing over his broad shoulder.

Though you only look at his face for a moment or two because you can’t help but stare at his erection. You expect him to tease you for looking too long, but he keeps oddly quiet. The only sounds are his careful breaths.

For some reason, you reach out to touch him, but he grabs your wrist and pins it above your head. 

“Don’t. I-I won’t last,” he admits. “I can hardly keep it together when I’m with you.”

You don’t ask him why. Choosing silence, you only nod to express your understanding.

Timidly, he inches closer, biting his lower lip. Your anxiety is berating your every thought.

Will it hurt? Does he like me? Will he fit? Is this real? Am I dreaming?

His warm hands anchoring to your waist are too real to be a fantasy of sleep. And knowing better than you, he nudges your legs apart for your convenience. Sweat is beading at his brow, and his grip on your body is tight enough to bruise when the tip of his cock penetrates you. His fingers stretched you out enough for him to fit halfway.

His thumbs rub over your stomach. “You’re doing good,” he says, out of breath already. “Just a little… more.”

Faster than you were preparing for, he pushes his way further inside you. You thought it would hurt. And maybe it did a little. Everything feels too tight, but you know that’s only because of how nervous you are. As impatient as he can be, Anakin prepared you well to take him so your first time would be… wonderful.

This was as close as you could possibly be with Anakin. Your bodies were joined together and feeding off each other to satisfy your hedonic need. If you weren’t being fucked against a tree by the boy you like, you would be sleeping in the tent beside your mom. But he’s good enough to fuck away any shame of doing it right outside where your mother rests.

He grips you tighter when the tempo of his thrusts increases, eventually achieving a cruel pace that makes your legs shake. The moans and whimpers in your right ear turn your willpower to liquid, and you’re melting in his arms. Anakin’s losing himself in yours. His hot tears drip down your shoulder, and he’s so close. Your trembling hands, open palms, caress his back, scraping gently with your nails.

He comes suddenly with hardly a warning. He’s clawing at you and biting your skin as he finishes, pumping you full of his seed. Another way that he’s claiming you as his. He silently cries when he has nothing more to give. Still sheathed inside you, he holds you down on the tree, as his heat seeps from your pussy and down your thighs.

Anakin’s smiling through his tears, knowing that he’s got you. 

You’re his.

You’re his.

You’ve always been his. 

[rogershoe]

Im back kinda

Hello everybody! 

LMAOAONFJW im so sorry to all the lights camera actions fans who i completely left omggg. i kinda got a boyfriend ffs and yea idk felt less lonely and didnt feel the need to write this fic, also becasue of that my love for daniel kinda died down too. but annywas we fucking broke up. its only been 2 hours so maybe we’ll gget back together haahaha but idk im so out of it rn OHMYGOD can you tell also im taggging everyone who was tagged on the fic becasue i feels soalone i hope you guys still remember me omggmgmgmggmmgm and feel free to text me. idk if ill continue writing lights camera action, but maybe i will. or maybe ill change the ending idk. anyways i love you guuys soo much keep me in your prayers cuz im not in a good place thanks ily bye mwah mwah

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