As a young MD who sees this all the time, and to many times - family “bullying” loved ones in for a check up - this is IMPORTANT! If you feel something is not right, come see one of us.
And please, tell us what you are really thinking of. We can’t read your mind. If you are worried that you might have cancer somewere, tell us were and why. If there is something you desperatedly want us to do, ie a spesific test - tell us. I can’t promise you that we will do it, but you deserve to be heard, and get an explanation why - why not. I know that not all doctors are the best communicators - we are different, just like you. But ask us. Tell us. Even the most hardened MD will probably soften up and give you an explanation if you blurt out, with tears in your eyes “I’m so afraid this is cancer”!
(I’ve had this conversation a lot of times, and I start to cry when typing this - all the great people I have had as patients, who I end up having to tell that their fears were right, or all the times I have to give people the worst news of their lives -”I’m so sorry, I know you came because of something you thought just was a silly fear, or you didn’t think about cancer at all - but you have cancer. And I can’t tell you ANYTHING about how this will work out in the end, and that sucks, and this will probably be a nightmare for you for a long time, and what is worse, the news and information will probably change on a day-to-day-basis, and that sucks even more, because it is an emotional rollercoster - but it is nothing I can do about that either!” Because cancer is still in so many ways a mystery, and that does not help _at all_.)
Right in this moment I have a cascade of memories in my head, of all the bed side moments with patients, confirming their worst fear. And of all the times I have been so afraid, because I KNOW something is not right, and I’m waiting for the test results, with the patient happily chatting away to the nurse, to the other patients, and to the family. And the test result confirming my fear, and I have to give the news that completely changes their lives. And not in a good way.
Just a few days ago, I had a person cry right in front of me when I asked point blank - are you afraid this might be cancer? I was told yes. And we talked about it. We set up a plan, I explained some things that was a problem here and now. The person went home, after giving me a hug. And so the waiting begins. It might be cancer. It might not. But the important thing is - TELL your doctor!
I’m not the best medical doctor, something I freely and cheerfully admit. But I really, truly care. Your fears are my fear. I’m sometimes rather direct. And I will ask you, “are you afraid this is cancer”.
Thank you taylorswift, for sharing this. It makes me able to rant. And hopefully, help people. You do that a lot :)
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