nickhq:
It had been a long month. A rough month. Back to back cases that stressed Nick out. That made Nick rethink on how the whole entire World works. Cases like those, cases like those made going home to Amanda much needed and wanted. He needed to go home to her. He wanted to go home to her. She was waiting in his apartment for him.It was a rough week, and yet another rough case. Nick was more affected than the rest of the squad but that didn’t matter right now. Right now, all that mattered was that he got home to Amanda. He needed to be in her arms. No sex tonight he thought to himself when leaving the Precinct. Just sleep. Sleep was what he was trying so hard not to do right now. That’s all he needed though once he got home was sleep. And to have her cuddle him and press soft kisses to his bare back like she does on the nights when he’s having trouble closing his eyes. Finally getting into his apartment, Nick closed the door and took his shoes off. He placed his jacket on the hook and did his usual routine. Seeing her sit on the couch in her pajamas already Nick smiled softly “Hi beautiful.” Nick said quietly and then walked towards her “My shirt looks good on you.” Nick leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “You took a shower without me though.” He laughed a little and then sat down on the couch, pulling her legs on top of his “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.” Taking a deep breath, Nick ran a hand through his hair and then sighed. He looked at her for a few moments and din’t say anything. He Finally put his hands on his chest and sighed “After today Manda I don’t.., I need to know that you’ll be okay without me. I need to know that you’ll be okay on your own. Cause what happened today… it can’t happen again. Fin should’ve had your back out there and he didn’t. You ran off. You ran off by yourself and disconnected your piece. You can’t do that. Not now. Not when we’re doin whatever the hell it is we’re doin. I didn’t have your back out there because we switched partners again. I know Fin is solid but today he wasn’t because you ran off on your own. I need to know that you can handle yourself out there. Cause after today I don’t think you can. Not when the bastard tried to attack you. I came running when Fin didn’t answer.” He took a deep breath and then looked at her. He could tell she was pissed at him now. He was pissed at her. She was arguing with him. She was in the wrong for today though and Nick knew it. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you about this and you’re flipping out. You ran off on your own and it can’t happen again Manda. You almost got yourself killed out there today. ” He shook his head and looked at he and then continued with “It’s like you need me out there and when I’m not with you all the time you fall apart like you did today. It is exhausting being with someone who is so.. so fucking needy!” Nick was mad now, he got up for a moment and looked at her “Fucking exhausting.”
-
Every case seemed never ending lately and it wasn’t like Amanda to get frustrated and want to give up but she did sometimes. She got overwhelmed quite easily and as much as she tried to fight against it in most cases, there were just some that she had to take a moment and step back. She had told Olivia that she needed to leave early after the case had gone amiss and when she was allowed, she headed straight to Nicks place. They were always at each other’s place anymore and if they weren’t at hers then she was at his; their home as she liked to call it. She made quick work to take the longest shower possible until the water turned cold and put on one of her favorite shirts of his and laid out on the couch until he was to make it home. It wasn’t long after she settled in the couch that she heard the familiar footsteps outside the door and then the key unlocking it; she gave him a smile as he walked in and sat up slightly to kiss him as he moved over to the couch. Her legs fell on top of his and she felt herself relax, something that she hadn’t done all day without him. “Yeah, well it was one of those days and I’m pretty sure that I used up all the hot water and I’m not sorry about that,” she said with a small laugh. “How was the rest of work?” There was silence between them and what was usually a comforted silence, this time there seemed to be tension in the air. She felt her heart rate escalating with each passing second and her stomach tightened the moment that words started to pour out of his mouth. She was pissed, no she was angry and she felt the blood in her veins boiling as he went off on her like she was some child and she wasn’t about to stand for that. “Are you fucking kidding me, Nick? I’m not your child and it’s not your responsibility or Fins to look after me. I know what the hell that I’m doing and I’m more than capable of handling things on my own, thank you very much. I can’t believe that you would question my ability to handle myself thinking that I need you to take care of me because news flash I’ve been taking care of myself longer than I have known you so don’t give me that shit. You just want to be the god damn hero all the time like you’re some kind of Saint. Well, let me tell you otherwise because you’re not a god damn Saint and your never will be.” His words cut like a knife and as much as she may deny it, she had become dependent on Nick for a lot and not just in work context but she didn’t need him all the time and to hear that he thought so made her angry. “I’m needy? I’m not fucking needing and I don’t need you, Nick.” She stood up as well and when his final words caught her ears, she instinctively turned back around and shoved him “I don’t fucking need you.” And when he fell into the coffee table, she felt her heart instantly stop and she froze as her eyes widened, realizing what just happened. “Nick, Nick I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she kept repeating, her body frozen in place.













