So much this. I’ve had a rant building for a while and it looks like today’s the day.
I’m getting REAL SICK of that “bisexual means I’m attracted to all women and two men” joke. I’m getting equally sick of the implication, in a thousand ways, that men are bad and it’s inherently worse to be attracted to them. If you’re a woman or woman-adjacent and you fall in love with a man, there’s this horrible and easy-to-internalize idea that you’re taking the lesser option.
Like y’all. Y’all? You know that’s gender essentialist radfem bullshit, right?
If you didn’t, I’d like to gently suggest you consider the idea that “Men are problematic (read: sinful) and violent, women are pure, beautiful and loving” is just conservative Christian ideology in a gay hat. We are not advancing towards equality for all genders by flipping which end of the scale is The Bad One ™.
I’m bisexual. I make a point of talking about being queer (because it’s my identity and culture, and that’s important to me), and I present mostly in the androgynous area of the spectrum. People often assume I’m only/mostly interested in women.
That’s actually not true. I like all genders, but when it comes to specific people, I’m most often attracted to men. And it makes me sad – really, genuinely sad – how many times I’ve felt ashamed to talk about that. Even though I’m not a woman, liking a man has made me feel “not queer enough.” Hell, some days it still does.
I’m gonna say this, even though I know a lot of people won’t like it. And I will also say in advance that I am not accepting criticism and I don’t argue on the internet as a personal mental health policy.
That said, here is the statement: This too is a closet.
Anytime you’re ashamed to admit to liking someone because they’re the “wrong” gender, anytime falling in love is treated like a disappointment instead of a celebration, I don’t care who you are or who your partner is, that is a FUCKING CLOSET. And I would appreciate it if we could STOP PUTTING PEOPLE IN THOSE.
