romantically homicidal

the johnny c of jiariblr read pinned

[romanticallyhomicidal]

Welcome to the blog. Read this shit or don’t. I don’t care anymore, honestly.

Call me Johnny. I use ze/zim and he/they. It’s better to use ze/zim since I mainly use those. I am an adult. Born in 2006, if that’s proof.

Like stated below. I am a system made up of 2-3 alters. I do not speak of them much. I see myself as a normal person who masks those alters unless they truly show under pressure.

I am part of a system. I do NOT use we/us much at all. I do not speak of my alters. I do not mention them either. Most of the time, I do have my holder/main alter, Atlas, fronting. My other alter, Johnny, is an aggressive alter, and also causes me to be suicidal, as well as being a fictive. Nny is an alter/fictive based from the JTHM series made by Jhohen Vazquez. I do interact with some fans of his series including the IFS and Squee! comics, but do NOT mention this fictive’s/alter’s source. It makes me uncomfortable and also risks me a lot of harassment as well from the bad side of the fandom. I also do not recommend mentioning my other fictive, Todd’s, source, as he’s also from the JTHM series. He is mainly my fictive for being an age regressor, but also a fawning/regressive fictive due to past trauma and abuse as well. (I am aware most of the fandom calls Todd Casil by Squee. I still refuse to call my fictive / alter by that name. He has always been called Todd since I’ve been diagnosed.)

I generally dislike humans equally as a whole and not by race, gender, or religion. My misanthropic self and tendencies do not discriminate. I am only this way due to the dislike and hatred from past trauma, mainly an abusive person I was in a relationship with, leasing me to feel a hatred for society.

I sincerely apologize if my blunt, avoidant, or misanthropic behavior concerns offend or disrespect you. I do not intend to appear as a negative person, nor do I view myself as anyone inherently good for anyone’s health.

I see myself as a Jiari despite not following the dressing style. I may post and reblog stuff relating to Jiari lifestyle. Be advised.

I am currently recovering from self-harm, an eating disorder [specifically C/S] and a chronic, untreated medication dependency. [Specifically Tizanidine, Trazodone Hydrochloride, and Hydroxyzine Hydrochloride.]

I am neutral against slashflashing, but I do not condone it. I will not do it to people who are uncomfortable with it, but I may post stuff relating to self-harm, or post self-harm photos. It will be tagged. Do NOT view those photos if you are uncomfortable with self-harm or slashflashing. I will not be, and never will be, responsible for your discomfort by not following my recommendations on posts.

Asks: 🪓 ~ Interview the Maniac

General: 🔪 ~ Unpleasant Idealization

Vents/Rants: 🥩 ~ Better Off Dead

Reblogs: 🩸~ Romantically Homicidal

Do NOT expect me to remember to use these tags. I may or may not remember to.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

take your guess on whatever the fuck happened to Zai in my fic- cuz we’re fucking traumatizing her with some shit that went on.

[courtneysartacc]

I hate these days where my chronic fatigue/pain and endometriosis is so bad that I’m crying and can’t get out of bed. I have things I need to do like Uni assignments and shopping errands but I can’t push past the tiredness and discomfort enough to do them right now. 👎 0/10 would NOT recommend

[romanticallyhomicidal]

dangggg I’m so sorry for you!!! I get that. endo sucks honestly. i got it myself besides PCOS and recently everything is hurting for me. i bet Ahk is there to comfort you!! he’s trying his best, at least. <3/p

don’t worry!! I’ll make sure that Baymax checks on you to see if you’re okay!!

[romanticallyhomicidal]

I got a therapy appointment tomorrow.

I just have to hope Nny doesn’t front and I end up all aggressive and spilling my guts to the kindest therapist I ever met about how misanthropic I am and how suicidal, aggressive, homicidal and even self-destructive I get when he fronts.

I don’t think she ever diagnosed me with DID, but I don’t want her to question it either and it turns into me getting anxious the whole session.

I guess I’ll try to sleep now, or at least leave the TV on right now until I fall asleep… hopefully I’ll remember to grab another 6 pack of my Ultra Paradise tomorrow… I need those to function at this point. If not, oh well.

[cheese-and-rice-x06]

please please please tell your therapist if you have ANY concerns. no matter how trivial they may seem. if you trust the therapist, trust they have your beat interests in mind. i have seen maybe 4-5 therapists, and my current one is a great person, while the others tried to blame all my problems on my being gay.

so something very important is to TRUST the therapist.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

I think it may be better to discuss the possibility of DID with my psychiatrist more than with her. Considering she’s a behavioral health therapist and also school-based, ahe might not be able to diagnose or screen me without additional assistance from my psychiatrist. Plus, since they’re in the same department and same place, I don’t know if it’ll be more like a double sided thing or just a “refer to this person from this behavioral health clinic and/or department for this DID screening” thing. She is aware and actually put into my chart on my diagnosis of MDD and ASD, but I’m not so sure if she would be comfortable or able to screen me or ask about the possibility of the DID diagnosis. I have thought it could the case it for some time though. I have certain triggers, symptoms, and other indicators that I think she might have overlooked or just maybe saw them and brushed them off as other stuff relating to my MDD but idk.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

I got a therapy appointment tomorrow.

I just have to hope Nny doesn’t front and I end up all aggressive and spilling my guts to the kindest therapist I ever met about how misanthropic I am and how suicidal, aggressive, homicidal and even self-destructive I get when he fronts.

I don’t think she ever diagnosed me with DID, but I don’t want her to question it either and it turns into me getting anxious the whole session.

I guess I’ll try to sleep now, or at least leave the TV on right now until I fall asleep… hopefully I’ll remember to grab another 6 pack of my Ultra Paradise tomorrow… I need those to function at this point. If not, oh well.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

🫂

i appreciate the hug. a lot. thank you, anon.

[floraliankiss26]

period cravings🍫

[romanticallyhomicidal]

does anyone even bother to care about me anymore or am i just better off dead and gone

[romanticallyhomicidal]

[CW: SELF-INFLICTED INJURIES, MEDICATION DEPENDANCE, AND C/S.]

At this point, I’m about to use more than scissors to cut into my arms and legs deeper. I’ve been doing self harm for years now, probably ever since I was 12, which only started with just using razor blades from pencil sharpeners to box cutters and scissors. at this point, I’m resorting to fucking kitchen knives.

My mom noticed me not eating much and started trying to force me to eat something yesterday and pointed out when she heard me complaining about being nauseous to my sister and dry-heaving last night. I tried to eat but all i could do is just chew and spit like I have been.

I keep wanting to take more of my Trazodone at night to feel normal, but it’s also an antidepressant, and I’m only taking it to sleep. I keep wanting to take more Zanaflex, more Trazodone, more Hydroxyzine. God, I just keep depending on those and I feel so fucking off without them in my system and making me feel normal, but they always make me tired.

I am not going to be attaching images of said injuries, or as some people call it slashflashing, due to knowing some people having sensitive stomachs or not enjoying the photos of healing scars due to self-inflicted injuries.

Personally, I myself am neutral against it, but I don’t condone it to anyone who is uncomfortable towards it, as that is crossing boundaries. I am only attempting recovery from both SH, an ED, medication dependance, and my mental health in general, because my family forces me to for my own wellbeing and state off mental health.

I am personally not one who wishes to recover or feels like they can, but I only attempt to do so because of my family’s worry for my mental and physical health.

Have your own opinions on SH, medication dependance and ED recovery. As long as they aren’t directed towards me or in an attempt to mock, insult, or harm me in any way whatsoever. I’m not super open about my mental health, but this is mainly a first for me to say all this.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

felt super masc today and went to the store in this

thankfully nobody asked about the cuts!

I look like young sheldon cooper HELP

[l-ii-zz]

So I like this headcanon that some Irkens can have telekinesis/telepathic skills, althought these skills are not strong enough to be actually useful. However, a very minority does have strong telepathy and it can manifest in different forms. In Red and Purple’s case, they can talk to each other by telepathy with no effort since they are twins and are heavily bonded with each other, but it comes naturally only with themselves, they can’t use their telepathy with anybody else.

Kove also has strong telepathic skills. In his case, he can read minds, although he needs a lot of effort and concentration. However, Red and Pur’s telepathy is so strong that Kove can hear them with zero effort. It can be useful for his advice duties, but it can also be a little annoying and distracting because well… teenagers being dumb 🤷‍♀️

[mrs-ant-tenna]

Some people dream about hugging and kissing their F/O(s)

I dream about stealing Deltarune plushies from my family

[romanticallyhomicidal]

I dream about stealing the baymax keychain from my local mall bc im not paying 29 dollars for it I worked there and I should get a discount for it

[susiephone]

possible explanations for Baymax being able to get 10 bags full of menstrual products:

Hiro updated his programming so he can have a bit of money linked to a debit card or something

Baymax has no money but found an employee instead. Baymax politely and calmly told them that he needs to get a small city's worth of pads and tampons right away, you see he has a patient and it's very urgent, and the cashier who does NOT get paid enough to argue with or explain the concept of capitalism to an 8 foot tall crimefighting robot was like "man, just go"

Baymax knows exactly how money and capitalism works but thinks it has no place in medicine, and regularly just straight-up shoplifts in the name of free and effective healthcare

[romanticallyhomicidal]

baymax shoplifting was the funniest part of this entire post

[epichermesholymoly]

tag game!

Horribly describe the last movie you watched, guess what the last person’s was, then tag people idk

Mine: Why am I stuck at the bottom of the red sea? Not the Mediterranean kind I might add-

@alastordaradiodemon, @cams-rambles, @potatoanarchist, @lilspark-offical, @p0pr0x1an, @tadctonorway, @deemondude, @leilani-lily, @booknerd2712, @loch-nes-dragon, @cheekychihuahuaart, @b-does-arts, @hawkeyedoodles, @chaos-triangle, @chaoticlesbianhere, @lifeserieswatcher, @survalio, @thetypogoddess, @sugarspice-x, + open tags :)

[volume-down]

Mine: your local nerdy loser is sent to die for the sake of inflating gas prices and Tiktok trends but ends up surviving and goes to live on rock

@maybemarz @writingwithoutconfidence @raccoonico @randomperson2009 @tehizel @obsidiansandwich @onehundredandtwentyfour @soda-pop-22 @firestar1998 @formulaparkolympian @firefly247 @hattonthehatman @jaybirddrawsthings7 @l-zah1ra @kaihasmoreswagthanyou3 @kirapjo0818 @callmesmth @biroasedemon @novnovv @mustard-in-a-bottle + open tags

[maybemarz]

Mine’s a show but oh well: let’s redeem these shitty dead people with ✨the power of friendship✨

As for the last entry I have no idea what movie you’re talking about 😭

tags! @a-sillyartist @cate7solace @cabin13winion @tired-shipper @sootstar22 @arikakari @imapuppetqueer +open tags

[cate7solace]

Hazbin hotel for sure.

mine: let’s kill the popular kids! Sure hope my boyfriend isn’t explosive!

@beautyqueenxwisegirl @tired-shipper @plateutje @lightsabersandbluecookies @cactus-coder-13 @subtletwilighteternityidk I don’t have a mutual list open tags

[beautyqueenxwisegirl]

what the fu- I have no clue but ok

mine’s a show: a totally human definitely not an alien refugee in a fictional American city finds out the person she was meant to raise is now 12 years older and basically a fucking god who sends her on her own and she meets Jeremy Jordan and a photographer who become her love interests.

oh and the president’s a girl.

@cate7solace I know you already did this but I wanna see your guess @was-that-the-bite-0f-87 @kathrine-khoward-05ismerp @kiki15fox @kipper7 @dawnvonfendasos @annabethchase1111 (sorry I didn’t tag u before! Enjoy!) + open tags

[lady173]

(I litterally just finished a movie)

girl tries to fix cool guy. Fails miserably. *cool explosion* Also people have the same name.

no idea for what yours is Ophelia. But I know for a fact the one before you (@cate7solace) is heathers

@autistobrat @moth-cutie @snipemeout @greyfieldsys1937 @1nd13gh0st @joybat2 @haumeasblog @lauriefayart @itscrylady @strange-nerd-boy @ball-of-confidence @theoneautisticthespian @aalikazam @/bapple117 @kiki15fox @killlynx @ancient-show153 @chefwormy @emergencyshinku @riddleribbonkat @ajolteonnamedsparky @analogue-dragon @whitestreamrct2

[whitestreamrct2]

Um…ducks fly around???

Hm…Project Hail Mary?

@marsmoon-phobos1 @analogue-dragon @zeldafloof @velvet-dragonfly + open tags!

[zeldafloof]

Animals play basketball

Your's is migration? Maybe?

Open tags. Too lazy.

[carn3lian-claws]

Retired garden gnome factory resets the protag + their entire family then becomes court jester

@campsiscreature @leafwing-life @moonstorm-wof @veinsofwires @scoring-the-end-of-the-jay

[moonstorm-wof]

I have no idea what this is but I’m pretty sure prev’s is called Goat.

The villain’s plan backfires so much that the government gets overthrown by a gay knight and his adopted daughter.

@whatamidoinghere56 @leafwing-life @polteghost @fefe-the-cat @fervantplate @forestragon @localcelestialcreature62 @ajolteonnamedsparky @rine091 @chaos-triangle @namehoardingcreature @lumitylover999

[cheese-and-rice-x06]

NIMONA!!!

Not a movie, but a show: 10 year old is a jerk and his adoptive dad is WAY TOO happy to be a real human being. also there's some other kids and they spend all summer together in the shittiest place on earth. and character growth, or something.

@th3-4l13n-r4v3rx, @starburnontheinternet, @billford-is-cool123, @fefe-the-cat, @kitpanthera + open tags cause i cant think of anyone.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

IS IT ENA OR SOMETHING CUZ IF SO I MIGHT BE WRONG SO IF I AM KILL ME/p

also a show: teenage prodigy kid who has friends who make robots fuck around in school and like- fight people but also had to steal something from like a fat ass sumo guy in one of the episodes and their fat ass robot friend has no body and is only a horrifying exoskeleton for two entire episodes. (his body “ran away”)

@alpheiamoth (might know what im talking about) @sockmembrane, @pollyredis and other folks I forgot to tag or don’t know if they’ll wanna join cuz im trying here

[cheese-and-rice-x06]

womp womp

also .....

is it baymax? like the big hero 6 show? the animated one?

[romanticallyhomicidal]

YES ITS THE BH6 THE SERIES- LMAO- I was gonna do the one on baymax dreams but like- I didn’t know how to horribly describe it because it’s already funny when it’s horribly described. but uh I was gonna also do the actual plot of baymax! BUTT I sadly haven’t watched it enough times it make it make sense in a dumb way

[romanticallyhomicidal]

might make my other selfship name light and magic cuz it’s a ref to ladytron

[epichermesholymoly]

tag game!

Horribly describe the last movie you watched, guess what the last person’s was, then tag people idk

Mine: Why am I stuck at the bottom of the red sea? Not the Mediterranean kind I might add-

@alastordaradiodemon, @cams-rambles, @potatoanarchist, @lilspark-offical, @p0pr0x1an, @tadctonorway, @deemondude, @leilani-lily, @booknerd2712, @loch-nes-dragon, @cheekychihuahuaart, @b-does-arts, @hawkeyedoodles, @chaos-triangle, @chaoticlesbianhere, @lifeserieswatcher, @survalio, @thetypogoddess, @sugarspice-x, + open tags :)

[volume-down]

Mine: your local nerdy loser is sent to die for the sake of inflating gas prices and Tiktok trends but ends up surviving and goes to live on rock

@maybemarz @writingwithoutconfidence @raccoonico @randomperson2009 @tehizel @obsidiansandwich @onehundredandtwentyfour @soda-pop-22 @firestar1998 @formulaparkolympian @firefly247 @hattonthehatman @jaybirddrawsthings7 @l-zah1ra @kaihasmoreswagthanyou3 @kirapjo0818 @callmesmth @biroasedemon @novnovv @mustard-in-a-bottle + open tags

[maybemarz]

Mine’s a show but oh well: let’s redeem these shitty dead people with ✨the power of friendship✨

As for the last entry I have no idea what movie you’re talking about 😭

tags! @a-sillyartist @cate7solace @cabin13winion @tired-shipper @sootstar22 @arikakari @imapuppetqueer +open tags

[cate7solace]

Hazbin hotel for sure.

mine: let’s kill the popular kids! Sure hope my boyfriend isn’t explosive!

@beautyqueenxwisegirl @tired-shipper @plateutje @lightsabersandbluecookies @cactus-coder-13 @subtletwilighteternityidk I don’t have a mutual list open tags

[beautyqueenxwisegirl]

what the fu- I have no clue but ok

mine’s a show: a totally human definitely not an alien refugee in a fictional American city finds out the person she was meant to raise is now 12 years older and basically a fucking god who sends her on her own and she meets Jeremy Jordan and a photographer who become her love interests.

oh and the president’s a girl.

@cate7solace I know you already did this but I wanna see your guess @was-that-the-bite-0f-87 @kathrine-khoward-05ismerp @kiki15fox @kipper7 @dawnvonfendasos @annabethchase1111 (sorry I didn’t tag u before! Enjoy!) + open tags

[lady173]

(I litterally just finished a movie)

girl tries to fix cool guy. Fails miserably. *cool explosion* Also people have the same name.

no idea for what yours is Ophelia. But I know for a fact the one before you (@cate7solace) is heathers

@autistobrat @moth-cutie @snipemeout @greyfieldsys1937 @1nd13gh0st @joybat2 @haumeasblog @lauriefayart @itscrylady @strange-nerd-boy @ball-of-confidence @theoneautisticthespian @aalikazam @/bapple117 @kiki15fox @killlynx @ancient-show153 @chefwormy @emergencyshinku @riddleribbonkat @ajolteonnamedsparky @analogue-dragon @whitestreamrct2

[whitestreamrct2]

Um…ducks fly around???

Hm…Project Hail Mary?

@marsmoon-phobos1 @analogue-dragon @zeldafloof @velvet-dragonfly + open tags!

[zeldafloof]

Animals play basketball

Your's is migration? Maybe?

Open tags. Too lazy.

[carn3lian-claws]

Retired garden gnome factory resets the protag + their entire family then becomes court jester

@campsiscreature @leafwing-life @moonstorm-wof @veinsofwires @scoring-the-end-of-the-jay

[moonstorm-wof]

I have no idea what this is but I’m pretty sure prev’s is called Goat.

The villain’s plan backfires so much that the government gets overthrown by a gay knight and his adopted daughter.

@whatamidoinghere56 @leafwing-life @polteghost @fefe-the-cat @fervantplate @forestragon @localcelestialcreature62 @ajolteonnamedsparky @rine091 @chaos-triangle @namehoardingcreature @lumitylover999

[cheese-and-rice-x06]

NIMONA!!!

Not a movie, but a show: 10 year old is a jerk and his adoptive dad is WAY TOO happy to be a real human being. also there's some other kids and they spend all summer together in the shittiest place on earth. and character growth, or something.

@th3-4l13n-r4v3rx, @starburnontheinternet, @billford-is-cool123, @fefe-the-cat, @kitpanthera + open tags cause i cant think of anyone.

[romanticallyhomicidal]

IS IT ENA OR SOMETHING CUZ IF SO I MIGHT BE WRONG SO IF I AM KILL ME/p

also a show: teenage prodigy kid who has friends who make robots fuck around in school and like- fight people but also had to steal something from like a fat ass sumo guy in one of the episodes and their fat ass robot friend has no body and is only a horrifying exoskeleton for two entire episodes. (his body “ran away”)

@alpheiamoth (might know what im talking about) @sockmembrane, @pollyredis and other folks I forgot to tag or don’t know if they’ll wanna join cuz im trying here

[sour-echinacea]

my scars are so itchy oh my godddd