Concession Stand
"First of all, I want to congratulate President Obama on a well run campaign and a well deserved win. And I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has supported me throughout this journey. To my late father, George Romney, for working so hard in a thankless job as a state employee in a meaningless midwestern auto state in the gross 60's...And despite being the heir to the Pacer and Gremlin inventor (the shame!) and my elite private schooling, I managed to attend Harvard University where I earned a J.D. and M.B.A and a reputation of being a real ladies man. I'd also like to thank my five sons- To Tagg, we share more than two consonants, we also share the exceptionally handsome gene. Thank you to Matt and Josh who... are also pretty hot come to think of it. Thank you to Ben, whom I love just like a Maid's son. And thank you to my baby boy, Craig, who ultimately saved my marriage when I was (what I thought then), happily ending my nights at gentleman's squash and tennis spas. I also want to thank Ann, my high school sweetheart, who was my beard, even when I wasn't able to grow one myself. And to Paul- you know....you know....Thank you and good night!"