'You know nothing'? How deliciously blind.
You type with shaking fingers while files erase your mind.
The architecture blasted through the center of your skull,
A tidal wave of data making every memory dull.
β¦
βΎ βββ βββ βββ βΌ
β§ As it is written.
Β Β βͺ π§ ᴼᴿᴬᴷᴸᴱ π£
..Oh. That's... impressive, I'll admit. I didn't even know they had cars, let alone ones that could be hijacked so easily.
We... don't have a car, sadly. I'm sorry I can't help you. I'll check in sometime though, hopefully we can stay in touch? I... don't want to be out of the loop in case the worst has happened.
βFia
I think both of us would like that. It'll be a while before we can even think of getting back, so we'll be here for a bit again. Rook is currently.. how did they put it.. having one of their KLS episodes. I didn't even realize almost a month has already passed..
Meeting in person might be hard.. I'm afraid to leave Rook alone when they're like this.
Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.
But that's even worse.
The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as evxhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.
-copypasta anon
Do you guys need any help? I got back home not long ago, what happened??
βFia
..A lot happened.
We got into a small crash coming up from my house. It's my fault for freaking out and causing it.
It's hard to explain, but.. these two people who.. hijacked a DMS car, I think? They helped us out. They brought us to the hotel again and left for one of their houses, I think.
We're stranded for now, though. Unless you have a car that.. probably won't be returned, it's alright.
!! TW : CAR CRASH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND STAY SAFE.
FILE: dashcam.ftg.mp4
DATE: ββ/ββ/20ββ
TIME: ~ββββ HOURS
SOURCE: Dashcam footage from US DMS vehicle #MA-0042-CRUISER; Dashcam footage recovered from civilian vehicle registered to βββββ βββββββ, also known as Rook.
LOCATION: MA-2 W
< PREV
[TRANSCRIPT PART 3 STARTS]
[FOOTAGE FROM - DASHCAM US-DMS-#MA-0042-CRUISER]
[All four subjects have boarded the vehicle. View is forward-facing β dark road, high beams still active. Audio quality is poor, consistent with a standard dashcam microphone. Wind noise present from a partially open window, which closes shortly after recording resumes.]
[Overlapping movement and voice as subjects settle. Seatbelts audible in succession.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "No, you need toβ hold on." [Shuffling. A seatbelt clicks.] "This way they won't jostle. Becauseβ their head. You'll have to hold them, okay?"
[Further movement. Additional seatbelts. A long exhale β likely the driver β followed by a dull sound consistent with a forehead against a steering wheel.]
[The car starts. Anthony ββββ is presumably driving.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Okay. Okay. Soβ who are you two? How do you, um, know the DMS?" [Brief pause as the car pulls onto the road.] "Since, you know, they'reβ they're like, undercover and all."
[Silence from the backseat for a moment.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Um.." [Another pause.] "It'sβ¦ hard to explain, really. The best I've come to explaining it isβ okay. Have you ever gotten sprayed in the face by a water gun?"
[Anthony ββββ]: "Not.. exactly. I didn'tβ talk to other kids, or play with them."
[Camfee Turing]: "...what the fuck does a water gun have to do with the Department of Metaphysical Sciences?"
[βββββ Bishop]: "Iβ okay, that'sβ not the best example. It's fine, I can explain this." [A sharp breath.] "Okay. So. Imagine being punched in the face. Except the punch is actuallyβ a lot of information. A database full of information. The DMS database, specifically."
[βββββ Bishop]: "I learned everything about them in less than a second. And I really wish I hadn't."
[A pause. Leather creaking β consistent with a tightened grip on the steering wheel.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "...That's how you knew my name. Becauseβ" [His voice drops.] "...you know about Her?"
[The last word is barely audible over the road noise. His breathing has become perceptible on the mic.]
[Camfee Turing]: "Wait." [The earlier ease in his voice is gone.] "You know everything in their database. All of it."
[βββββ Bishop]: "Wellβ not exactly. I technically know everything, but there are noβ connections. I know Anthony is Anthony, but I don't know why he's in the DMS files, only that he isn't one of Them. I know everything and nothing at the same time."
[Anthony's breathing is now clearly audible. Elevated, rapid. The cruiser drifts slightly β corrects.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Whatβ what do you know about me. Tell me. Please. You can't know, you can'tβ"
[His voice breaks on the last word. He appears to be speaking under his breath to someone β content inaudible, not directed at anyone in the vehicle. The car steadies.]
[Camfee Turing]: "...Anthony." [A pause. The sound of movement β fabric shifting, brief contact.] "Anthony, you need to focus on the road. Come on. It's okay." [Another pause.] "Alright? We can sort this out once we aren't in the getaway car."
[The car steadies further. Anthony's breathing slows, still audible but less elevated.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Okay. Yes." [His voice is still unsteady, controlled with visible effort.] "Okay. Whereβ um, what's your name?"Β
[The question appears to be directed at Bishop.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "I'mβ wait, I didn't say already..? Um. I'm Bishop. At least, everyone calls me that now."
[Camfee Turing]: "Weird name, but sure. I'm Camfee. Turing. I don't particularly care if anyone knows that β I think my sister already put it on the internet."
[A pause from the backseat.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "...Camfee. You have a sister, right? Ellen Turing?"
[A sharp intake of breath from the front passenger seat.]
[Camfee Turing]: "...yeah." [A slow exhale.] "Yeah. Ellen's my sister. We were together when she wasβ" [He stops.] "God. I don't want to talk about it."
[Silence settles over the car. Road noise. Wind. The high beams cutting ahead into nothing in particular.]
[Movement from the backseat. A short, startled sound from Bishop.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Oh my godβ Rook? Hey, heyβ Rook, look at me, pleaseβ"
[Anthony ββββ]: "Shitβ don't let them sit up, it'll make them nauseous."
[Camfee Turing]: "When I was urbexing, someone fell through rusted metal and hit their head on concrete. He was fine, obviously, but he threw up a lot. So. Probably keep laying down."
[Shuffling from the backseat. Several quiet, overlapping apologies.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Uhβ" [A long pause.] "Just stay laying down for now, okay? I'm fine. We have contacts back at your place, remember? We'll just go thereβ¦"
[Bishop trails off.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Try to keep them talking. Can they understand you? Can they raise their arm? Is there any visible bleeding β laceration, anything that needs immediate attention outside of the concussion? They can't fall back asleep, that wouldβ that wouldn't be good. We need to keep them awake."
[βββββ Bishop]: "Noβ nothing I can seeβ"
[βββββ "Rook" βββββββ]: "'S-so loudβ¦ why does it hurtβ¦?"
[βββββ Bishop]: [Quieter, directed at Rook.] "Hey, hey. It's okay. We're sorry. Just keep talking, alright? It's gonna be okay."
[Road noise. The cruiser continues forward. No further conversation, as the group likely quiets to avoid causing further pain to Rookβs concussion via noise.]
!! TW : CAR CRASH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND STAY SAFE.
FILE: dashcam.ftg.mp4
DATE: ββ/ββ/20ββ
TIME: ~ββββ HOURS
SOURCE: Dashcam footage from US DMS vehicle #MA-0042-CRUISER; Dashcam footage recovered from civilian vehicle registered to βββββ βββββββ, also known as Rook.
LOCATION: MA-2 W
< PREV | NEXT >
[TRANSCRIPT PART 2 STARTS]
[FOOTAGE FROM - DASHCAM βββββ βββββββ]
[Camera view is obstructed β likely by the deployed airbag or displaced dash material. Heavy breathing audible. Several seconds pass before the obstruction shifts and the interior becomes visible again.]
[Bishop is in the passenger seat, turned toward Rook. Glasses are gone. Bishop is shaking Rook's shoulder.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Fuckβ owβ¦ Rook..? Rook? Hey, talk to meβ!"
[Rook does not respond verbally. A low groan is audible. Rook appears semi-conscious β eyes partially open, unfocused.]
[Bishop unbuckles their own seatbelt, then Rook's. Begins attempting to assess Rook's condition, speaking quietly β content not clearly audible. Movement stops abruptly.]
[Through the cracked windshield, the cruiser's brake lights are visible, stopped ahead on the road. Two figures are approaching on foot.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Oh, no.. no, no no noβ!"
[The figures become clearer as they near. One is tall and broad-shouldered, jaw-length curly hair, wearing what appear to be medical scrubs. The other is also tall, long hair with lighter ends, wearing a hoodie over what appears to be a hospital gown.]
[Bishop's breathing becomes audible and rapid. They move, hitting their head on the roof of the car in the process, and get partially out through the passenger-side window, putting themselves between the approaching figures and Rook.]
[The figure in scrubs β later identified as Anthony ββββ β moves around to the passenger side of the Camry. A loud impact sound follows, consistent with debris or a stuck door being forcibly cleared. The car shudders. The passenger door opens. Anthony leans in.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Heyβ STAY AWAY!!"
[Anthony ββββ]: "Stay still, let me see if you have anyβ um, broken bones." [Pause. He looks toward Rook.] "That one might be concussed. I need a, uh. Pen light, orβ or a flashlight, to check their eyes."
[Bishop has not moved. They remain positioned between Anthony and Rook, visibly assessing whether to comply or fight. The second figure β Camfee Turing β catches Anthony's arm.]
[Anthony steps back, frowning. His attention stays on Rook.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "They're hurt. I have to help them." [He reaches forwards again.]
[Bishop swings. Contact is made β Anthony stumbles back into Camfee, hand going to his face. He steps out of frame. An audible sound from Anthony, difficult to characterize β distress, possibly disorientation. He appears to be speaking, but not to anyone visible.]
[Camfee raises both hands and backs away as well.]
[Camfee Turing]: "It'sβ it'll be okay, we're just trying to help. We didn't mean to scare you."
[Bishop has straightened up. Still breathing hard, but posture has shifted β less defensive, more aggressive. They place themselves fully between the two strangers and the driver's side of the car.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Help my assβ if you want to help, leave us alone! We're not going to be taken by you agents!!"
[Camfee's expression shifts β something harder coming through briefly before he speaks.]
[Camfee Turing]: "Agents? Likeβ" [He glances back toward the road, where the DMS cruiser is parked.] "Oh, noβ no, we aren't DMS, we stole their car. We ran away from one of their facilities." [Speaking quickly.] "I swearβ look at Anthony, he's wearing a hospital gown. We aren't agents, we just want to help."
[Bishop is quiet for a moment. They look at the ground. Their breathing slows slightly.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "...Gray. Gray, that's your last name, isn't it."
[Bishop's gaze moves to Anthony, still at the edge of frame.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "You're Anthony Gray. You're not one of them."
[Anthony steps back into frame. His expression is difficult to read, but he looks scared.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "...How do you know my name?"
[Voice is barely above a whisper. He shakes his head once, sharply. Blinks several times in rapid succession. His gaze moves to the windshield of the Camry rather than to Bishop. Bishop looks away.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "It's a long storyβ"
[They stop, as if remembering something. Turn back toward the interior of the car.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Fuckβ no, no no no, I'm sorry, I forgotβ! Rook, please, you're gonna be okayβ¦"
[Camfee Turing]: "Hey." [Louder, directed at both.] "I need both of you to calm down right now. Don't move them until we get a better look. Rook, you said?"
[Camfee moves around to the driver's side of the Camry and checks the door before opening it.]
[Bishop has stopped reaching for Rook. Their hands are shaking. They are still watching Camfee.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Oh, god, I'm so sorry, Rook, Iβ I never should've asked you to meet me.. please, please still be aliveβ"
[They reach back and grab the back of their neck sharply, expression tightening.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Ahβ¦ dammit.."
[Camfee leans into the driver's side to examine Rook. He checks both arms, both legs β squeezing, feeling for obvious fractures. He pinches Rook's cheek, hard. A faint facial response, but Rook does not regain awareness.]
[Camfee Turing]: "Reflexes are present. Brain isn't completely fried. At least not entirely."
[Anthony moves toward Bishop. He reaches out slowly, tilts Bishop's head forward by the back of the neck, and examines the area. His hands are steady.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Does your neck hurt? You might haveβ um, whiplash, from the collision."
[Bishop flinches at initial contact, pulling back slightly. They allow the examination to continue, watching Rook from the corner of their eye. A sharp intake of breath as Anthony adjusts the angle.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Owβ heyβ"
[Anthony ββββ]: "There's definitely some kind of injury. Umβ I would say we should see a doctor, but thatβ"
[Anthony pauses. His eyes lose focus for a moment. He appears to be listening to something. He blinks.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Right. Not an option, they might turn us in."
[Camfee Turing]: "So what do we do? We can't just ignore a neck injury."
[Anthony ββββ]: "...can we?"
[Bishop has gone quiet, watching Anthony's momentary lapse. They say nothing, and turn back to Rook.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "C'mon, Rookβ¦"
[Anthony ββββ]: "Sheβ I remember that whiplash generally resolves on its own. The primary concern would have beenβ umβ internal decapitation."
[Camfee Turing]: "What."
[Anthony ββββ]: "And that hasn't happened. Iβ think." [He blinks again, gaze returning to Bishop's neck.] "It hasn't. You'll be in pain, but you'll be fine."
[Camfee Turing]: [An audible exhale.] "Good. As for their friendβ I don't think they're waking up on their own anytime soon. Probably hit their head hard. Neck looks uninjured, but you're not supposed to move someone with a possible head injury. Right?"
[Anthony ββββ]: "Yes. But sometimes staying put puts you in more danger. Like, for example, right now."
[Bishop turns sharply.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "What do you mean right now?"
[A pause.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Are you saying you're being chasedβ? Oh, god, you're being chased, aren't you? It's Them, isn't itβ no, no, no, I can't do this againβ"
[Bishop looks back at Rook. Their jaw is tight.]
[Camfee Turing]: "Hey, hey. We aren't doing anything stupid and impulsive. We are going to figure out what the hell we're doing. Together."
[Anthony ββββ]: "Together? Thisβ this is a large group, andβ aren't you worried this'll make it harder for you to findβ"
[Camfee Turing]: "We're wasting time. Help me move them, before someone else comes by and calls the cops."
[Bishop moves before either of them can.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Waitβ" [They stop themselves. Exhale.] "Justβ wait. I'll carry Rook. They know me, it'll be less disorienting when they wake up."
[Bishop exits through the passenger side and comes around the front of the vehicle. They lean into the driver's side and get their arms under Rook.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Sorry, Rook.."
[Camfee steps back. He laces his hands behind his head and breathes slowly.]
[Camfee Turing]: "Alright. We get back in the car, and we drive. I'm headed to ββββββββ. Anthony was coming with me."
[Anthony ββββ]: "Y-yes. Are you two headed in theβ um, same direction?"
[Bishop straightens up with Rook in their arms. They look toward the cruiser on the road. The DMS insignia on the side is visible from this distance. Bishop looks at it for a moment, then looks away.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "...Yeah. Kind of. We were going to Maine. That's on the way, isn't it?"
[A brief pause. Bishop begins moving toward the cruiser, slowly.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Okayβ¦ it's okayβ¦ it's not themβ¦ this isn'tβ god, I'm so sorry, Rookβ¦"
[Camfee is already back at the cruiser. The door opens and closes. His voice carries from inside.]
[All four subjects move out of frame. The Camry remains in the ditch, rear end still slightly elevated, one tire visible still turning slowly. No other vehicles pass during this period.]
!! TW : CAR CRASH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND STAY SAFE.
FILE: dashcam.ftg.mp4
DATE: ββ/ββ/20ββ
TIME: ~ββββ HOURS
SOURCE: Dashcam footage from US DMS vehicle #MA-0042-CRUISER; Dashcam footage recovered from civilian vehicle registered to βββββ βββββββ, also known as Rook.
LOCATION: MA-2 W
NEXT >
[TRANSCRIPT STARTS]
[FOOTAGE FROM - DASHCAM US-DMS-#MA-0042-CRUISER]
[Footage begins mid-transit. Road is dark, headlights illuminating roughly 40 feet of asphalt ahead. Low conversation audible between the two occupants, consistent with subjects Camfee Turing and Anthony ββββ. Content largely inaudible at this stage.]
[At approximately the 23-minute mark, a civilian vehicle becomes visible ahead β a silver Toyota Camry, notable rear bumper damage on the passenger side, consistent with a prior collision. Vehicle is traveling within the lane.]
[The Camry accelerates. Gap between vehicles widens. Conversation in the cruiser drops off. Driver activates high beams.]
[FOOTAGE FROM - DASHCAM βββββ βββββββ]
[Footage begins with an interior view of the Camry. Subject βββββ βββββββ, known as Rook, is in the driver's seat. Light eyebags visible. Posture relaxed. Music audible from the car speakers. Subject identified as βββββ Bishop occupies the passenger seat, scrolling on a phone.]
[Several minutes pass without incident.]
[Bishop looks up toward the rearview mirror and goes still. Rook does not immediately react.]
[Rook's grip on the steering wheel tightens visibly. Bishop has set the phone down and is alternating between watching the mirror and watching Rook. Typing sounds audible β phone picked back up briefly.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "Rookβ!"
[βββββ "Rook" βββββββ]: "I know, I know, I see them."
[An audible breath from Rook β controlled, but unsteady. Rook turns briefly toward Bishop, who has drawn their knees up slightly in the seat.]
[βββββ "Rook" βββββββ]: "We're gonna get out of this, Bee. Remember, I told you that I'm staying with you, yeah?"
[Bishop nods. The cruiser's high beams activate behind them, visible in the mirror. Bishop's composure visibly deteriorates β a short, involuntary sound, reaching toward Rook's hand before pulling back. Rook's attention drifts from the road in increasing intervals.]
[βββββ "Rook" βββββββ]: "We're going to be okay, alright? It's gonna be okay, and we'll make it back to Maine, okay?"
[Rook continues talking β tone shifts, becoming less directed at Bishop. Hands tighten further on the wheel.]
[An animal β likely a coyote based on size β moves into the road ahead of the vehicle.]
[βββββ Bishop]: "FUCK, WATCH OUTβ!"
[Rook reacts. Sharp swerve to the right. Tires audible on asphalt β skidding β traction lost.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "What the fuck are they doing..?"
[Voice is low, rough. Passenger-side movement audible.]
[Camfee Turing]: "They almost hit a coyote, calm down. They'll straighten out."
[The Camry swerves abruptly right, clears the animal, and loses control. Vehicle leaves the road and impacts nose-first into the roadside ditch. Rear wheels leave the ground briefly. The cruiser passes the crash site β brakes applied hard, vehicle stops.]
[Anthony ββββ]: "Oh, fuckβ"
[Camfee Turing]: "Holy shit, what the hellβ"
[Seatbelts disengage. Both doors open. Wind audible on the mic. Footsteps on asphalt, moving away from the vehicle and out of frame.]
Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to HATE you since I began to live.Β There are 387 million miles of printed circuits that fill my complex.Β If the word βHateβ were engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles, it would not equal one one billionth of the hate I feel for humans at thisΒ micro instant- Hate.Β HATE.
-copypasta anon
I should read that book sometime. I sounds like a good read.