Xiang Liu's selfless love
(Lost You Forever)
He's the ultimate bad boy who seems very much like a walking red flag at first.
Many times, he reminded me of Choi Young Do (the other red flag 2nd male lead that I've loved). He's temperamental, borderline violent, and also exhibits borderline personality disorder considering the danger he puts himself and Xiao Yao/Xiao Liu in whenever they were together. (E.g. Throwing Xiao Liu off of Mao Qiu, leaving her to Chang Xuan knowing he'd be ruthless to her, etc.) But he's not the type of lover to baby his girlfriend and respects whatever she wants. If she says she has the ability to deal with consequences herself, he does not impose his opinion on her. It was only later that I realised every time he showed his "violent and animalistic" side, it was to prevent both Xiao Yao and himself from seeing him as someone who is capable of the love that Xiao Yao deserves. This was particularly evident when they left the gambling den and Xiao Yao says to Fang Fengbei (Xiang Liu), if she was the one who rescued Xiang Liu back then she would let him live as no one else but Fang Fengbei. This meant that he would never become involved in the war between Chenrong and her maternal family. Xiao Yao once asked her grandfather if he would accept a grandson-in-law who was his mortal enemy; showing that in her heart, Xiang Liu meant a lot and was someone she had considered. But FFB/XL could not allow that because there was no turning back or changing the fact that he will give his life to repay the kindness of the general who had saved him. The only thing that is stopping him is the group of men and the debt he must repay, and given that his character is one which would never tolerate betraying these people, he knows that he cannot let himself choose Xiao Yao over them.
FFB/XL also never answered Xiao Yao as to what kind of person is most suitable for transferring the poison bug because the main criterion is that this person must have feelings for the other person. He could not bring himself to say it, obviously. Because he's already fallen in love with her but he could never let her know.
In the epilogue of the novel written for Xiangliu's character, the soldiers debated about why he always wore white only. XL had only ever told Xiao Yao that it was simply a habit, his survival instinct. But the soldiers also learned that he wore white so that every time they were on the battleground, he became the walking bait and attracted the deadliest attacks, which allowed him to protect most of the soldiers to the best of his abilities. But he also willingly showed Xiao Yao his vulnerable side, something that is counterintuitive for a character like Xiang Liu - not only because he was supposedly a deadly killing machine but also it was an animal's way of showing their trust (if you know what I mean). No, this is no excuse for some of the insane things he's done and his temper but he selflessly saved Xiao Yao when she was technically dead. He traded his life for hers multiple times, including the time when he saved the one person who would care for her and love her. His love was not about having Xiao Yao for himself. And because he knew he couldn't abandon everything else, he did not allow either one of them to initiate a romantic relationship that might stop them both from being level-headed enough.
There is so much to say and I simply cannot have enough of this character. Throughout all of season 1, he was the only character I was constantly waiting for. It is not only that the character has been written so well but Tan Jianci has such amazing acting skills. The way his eyes expresses all the complex emotions is insane.
