Cats, Puns & Shit

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words make me believe I deserved it.

[50shadesofsuck]

Ellen reading 50 SHADES OF GREY. I’m not a huge Ellen fan (so sue me) but I thought this was funny.

[rosebai21]

Full homo- I'm in love with Ellen. She's fabulous.

[50shadesofsuck]

After a moment, maybe two, I hear him pad quietly to the museum chest and open one of the drawers. The butt drawer?

Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 11.

please let it be the butt drawer.

(via 50shadesofsuck)

[50shadesofsuck]

He smirks and cranks his glorious smile up another notch so it’s in full HD IMAX.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 250.

i dont think that’s a thing

(via 50shadesofsuck)

The awful comparisons here. This is better than reading the books was.

[50shadesofsuck]

Christian smirks as he does up his fly and puts the [ed. note - USED] condom in his pants pocket.

Fifty Shades Darker, p. 195.

so.gross.

(via 50shadesofsuck)

Legit gagged at this.

[onlytwitterpics]

[vitalised]

I’m stuck between wanting a relationship and dating my laptop…

[tactical-facepalm]

[compoundchem]

Happy 4th of July, US followers! More info/high-res image: http://wp.me/p4aPLT-1t

[tastefullyoffensive]

How God Created Animals (via boredpanda) Previously: Dad Tweets

[mel-cat]

Via iMiao5

[sizvideos]

Woman Surprise Her Girlfriend With The News She Will Be Her Kidney Donor - Watch the full video

[possessedcreampuff]

OH MY GOD THIS IS LOVE

[haphazardhappenstance-deactivat]

Update:

[tumblagay]

AHHHHHHHHHH YASSSSSS

[biolegend]

Kevin should also probably have an actual slide to look at.

[asapscience]

kevin, slide or not, we appreciate your effort. 

[ummzaksbest-deactivated20210928]

Support Kevin’s scientific endeavors.

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

[certifiedcopy]

[prodigaldaughterx]

The writers of this show are fucking brilliant

[lesbian-and-skate]

[theinturnetexplorer]

forever awkward

[staythatswhatimeanttosay]

Donnie hit me.

Grant stopped calling me the day after I gave him his birthday present and I told him that I wasn’t quite ready to have sex.

Lance strung me along for months before finally cutting me loose when he got another girl pregnant.

Drew told me he would leave me for her, that I was his everything, and then he married her.

Dustin fucked me then never spoke to me again.

Ryan fucked me then never spoke to me again.

James wrote poetry on my arms then showed up with another girl at the party that night.

Clay only called me when he was drunk.

Kat has never laid a hand on me. Kat calls me a minute after she’s left for work just to hear my voice one more time for the day. Kat has saved every voicemail I’ve left her since we started dating. Kat has been faithful and has never wanted anyone but me. Kat shares an intimacy with me that surpasses all else. Kat tells me stories until I fall asleep next to her. Kat gets drunk right next to me, and still sends me sweet texts.

Kat stood up in front of all our friends and all our family, save two very important people, and vowed to love me, cherish me, and protect me forever. Kat falls asleep next to me, adopts animal after abandoned animal with me, files taxes with me, buys groceries with me, and supports the woman I want to be.

But we are not welcome to stay in my parent’s house for Christmas because she is a woman. That is her sin. Not hitting me, fucking me after I said no, leaving me, refusing to commit to me. She is a woman, and I am a woman.

And that will always be worse for my parents.

Merry Christmas.