Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.
But the pain in their lives were connected.
Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.
And Bucky never got to meet her.
What had surprised him, however, was the position he found himself in now.Â
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Bucky wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep. Faint memories of the end credits flashed through his mind but he remembered it had not yet become dark outside. They'd both gone to sleep so early it was no surprise when Bucky woke up before the sun had even raised.
Y/n was awake, sitting up with her eyes fixated on the TV where a news channel played quietly. Bucky's head had found her lap, facing her stomach with his cheek flush against her thigh. Her fingers trailed through his hair, brushing the length unconsciously as she took in the information the news gave her.Â
Bucky's eyes had just barely opened enough to observe where he was before they closed once more. He wouldn't dare wake up yet, terrified of awkwardness that would ensue if she found out he was awake.Â
And he would be lying if he said the potential embarrassment was the only thing that kept him still. In truth, he didn't want to venture far from her touch, finding the minimal grazes of her skin sent chills down his spine.Â
Though half asleep, he was elated by the small display of affection. It was the most attentive care he'd received in- he couldn't even remember how long. It made his heart race and it took everything he had not to give himself away in fear she may stop.Â
He laid there silently as she lightly ran her fingertips across his temple and back into his hair, tucking away stray hairs and guiding the hair off of his neck. Laid there as her hand trailed to his right shoulder, tracing soft circles.
At some point he must've drifted to sleep because the next time his eyes opened, the living room was lit up in the faint glow of the sunrise.Â
This time he awoke in a panic, breathless and panting in a cold sweat. The tender touches were gone, instead replaced with the horrendous images that lingered in his brain like a disgusting after taste.Â
It was the same as usual, reliving one of the numerous murders he'd committed.Â
 He looked around frantically for Y/n, grateful she hadn't witnessed his brutal awakening. A faint thud in the bathroom told him she was in there, probably getting ready for the day. He must've not slept there long.Â
He collapsed back onto the couch, noticing that at some point during the period she'd been awake, Y/n had gotten him a blanket. He pulled it close, the soft tufts like silk against his fingers. It smelled like her perfume: a faint flower he couldn't place but one familiar to him.Â
He listened to the quiet sounds of Y/n moving about the other room, allowing himself to become grounded in her distant presence. It was a concept he was acquainted with: finding comfort in her mere existence.Â
Soon the images of the nightmare faded and his breathing had grown steady again. Now, he was left only with the guilt and self hatred he couldn't shake. It was a never ending cycle, he realized.Â
Would he ever find a night that he didn't dream of his sins? Or would he forever be plagued by them?Â
What would Y/n do when he has one of those nightmares? Would she soothe him back to sleep? Maybe the first few times, he thought; she was gentle like that. But how long could he enjoy that before she would grow tired of it and become distant? He sighed, his eyes closing as he tried to push the thought away.Â
Suddenly, the bathroom door clicked open, drawing his gaze to the hallway.Â
Y/n emerged from the hall, stepping out into the living room with a hushed click of her shoes in the thin, decorative carpet. Bucky had been forced to stare, watching as she fiddled with her earring, attempting to put it on with one hand.Â
She stood taller with her heels, an air of authority around her despite the frailty of her cast. Fitted to her frame was a suit that looked as though it was perfectly crafted just for her. Blue plaid slacks came down to her heels, the waist tucked under a matching waistcoat. Beneath that she wore a black button up accompanied with a dark glove. It seemed out of place among her outfit, clearly an attempt to cover the scars on her free hand much like the cast had on her other. Â
The paired blazer was tucked in her elbow, slipping to her forearm as she paced further into the room. The blazer was soon tossed onto the back of the small chair next to the couch, freeing her able hand. Taking advantage of this, Y/n began to roll the unbuttoned sleeve over her cast, struggling a bit with the obstacle of her sling.
Bucky said nothing, feeling as though the moment to make his awareness known had passed. If he said anything now, Y/n would definitely know he was gawking at her. He didn't know if he could handle embarrassing himself anymore in front of her, especially after the position he'd put her in hours before.Â
Would she mention it? Or perhaps spare him the humiliation of laying on her lap like the stray that he was. Thankfully, she hadn't seemed to mind, at least not that he'd noticed in his tired daze. In fact, touching in any form seemed to be less awkward than talking as pathetic as it sounded. Â
Despite his stealth, Y/n had already caught him, feeling his eyes on her. Her gaze locked onto his with a tender expression, her head tilting as she spoke softly.Â
"Hey." She greeted him. "Did I wake you?"Â
Bucky shook his head frantically, sitting up perhaps a bit too fast. "No. Not at all." He replied, unable to pull his eyes from her. "What's going on?"Â
Y/n let out a less than amused laugh, woefully unprepared for the day ahead. "It's Monday and unfortunately I have a few things to take care of." She answered. Finally, her shirt sat comfortably above her cast and she grimaced at the idea of getting the shirt back off.Â
"Are you sure you can? It hasn't even been a week." Bucky asked. It was one thing hanging out around the apartment after surgery when she really should be in the hospital. But returning to work?Â
It made a strange anxiety bubble up inside of him, a turning of his stomach making the sensation almost painful. An anxiety he had recognized he'd felt when standing next to Steve that fateful day at the hospital.Â
The worry for a soulmate. Â
What if she collapsed? Or if her sutures opened up? So many things could go wrong and one thing he'd been able to tell about her from the moment he'd seen her that day on the battlefield was that she had no regard for her own well being. Â
"It'll be fine. I'm tough." Y/n assured him, lifting her arm into a mock flex. "Besides, this is time sensitive." She sighed, letting her arm drop. Turning away and heading toward her bedroom door behind him, she disappeared from his view.Â
"I have to meet with Pepper to discuss our course of action for handling RESTORE. We have to get started as soon as possible." She called from within her room, a shuffling of papers following her statement.Â
"What's RESTORE?" Bucky questioned, watching as she returned with a handful of documents.Â
"Apparently a company I'm going to run?" Y/n chuckled nervously, still unsure of the idea. "It's supposed to help get the world back in order with everyone coming back from the snap. That bastard Tony made it his dying wish that I take charge."Â
Y/n smiled at the bittersweetness of it all.Â
She was becoming the next generation Stark just like she was trained to. Yet, in order to do so, she'd have to carry on his overwhelming legacy and even heavier burden. She would have to become loved and hated by the people all at once after years of simply being unknown. Was she ready for that?Â
"Tony Stark?" Bucky asked quietly.Â
Tony Stark was someone Bucky wished more than anything to make amends to. Someone he'd now never be able to.Â
Yet again he found himself wondering what Y/n's relationship was with him. It was becoming more apparent that she was close to people he'd hurt before, people he wished to apologize to. Then again, he wondered if there was a person on Earth he hadn't hurt in some way. Would he ever be able to apologize to them all?Â
"Yeah." She replied quietly, glancing at her watch. "I'll tell you more about it when I get back, okay?" She told him gently, walking over toward the couch and sitting down next to him.Â
"Here, this is for you." Pulling out her phone, she turned it on and handed it to him. He held it carefully, finding the slim object delicate across his fingers. Y/n leaned closer, pulling up contacts and pointing at one. "If you call this number, it'll direct you to me and this is Pepper's in case you can't reach me. And if you're lonely, this is Sam's."Â
Bucky nodded, memorizing what she told him. Though the idea of calling Sam under any circumstances was a reluctant thought. Â
Satisfied that he'd be alright being alone for the day, Y/n stood and headed over to the chair where she'd left her blazer and documents. "I'll pick you up a phone on the way home but for now mine will have to do." The blazer was shrugged over her shoulders, draping over her arms. "Don't snoop now." She teased, pointing a playful finger at him.Â
He nodded, taking her request very seriously as he looked down at the phone.Â
Y/n couldn't help but laugh as she grabbed her files. "I'm kidding, Bucky. You can probably find some games or maybe something to read on there. If not, there's always Netflix." Waving a dismissive hand, she double checked that she had everything.Â
"Netflix?" Bucky's brows furrowed, confusion leaving his words.Â
Y/n scoffed at herself, forgetting to explain the concept of Netflix. Quickly, she paced over to him, reaching down to the coffee table and plucking up the remote.Â
"Here, you just turn on the TV and go down to this icon." Y/n explained, gesturing toward the television where the clear word 'Netflix' was written. "And there it is for when you wanna watch something. They've got movies and shows. Watch whatever you want."
"Alright, I really got to go." Standing to full height, she set the remote next to him before rushing over to the door. "There's leftover pizza in the fridge but if you don't want that there's cash in this bowl here." Her hand dipped into the bowl next to the door, grabbing her keys and ensuring he knew where it was.
"Don't forget the key if you leave. See you later, bye!" Y/n called, opening the door. Bucky watched as she stepped out into the hall, shutting and locking the door behind her.Â
"Bye." He mumbled, his heart sinking as the silence of the empty apartment slowly swallowed him.Â
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The cab ride to what was once Stark Tower, soon to be rebranded as RESTORE, was nerve wracking to say the least. The drive itself was quiet and traffic was about as one would expect with the addition of the rest of the population.Â
Y/n did her best to prepare herself for meeting with actual government officials, staring at the documents Pepper had given her at the funeral. The purpose of meeting with them today was to not only to make them acknowledge that RESTORE was going to begin operating but to also, hopefully, gain their support.
Though, Y/n felt like that may be a stretch.Â
In this time of crisis, they would hardly be open to providing a nonprofit company like this with the power to make real changes to the world. But they needed all the help they could get and frankly, Y/n was set to run the company with or without their support, as hesitant as she was.Â
The radio murmured, droning on about the condition of the city after what they'd done that day. But Y/n tuned it out, unable to do anything but wonder if Bucky was alright being alone.Â
The urge to turn around and do nothing at his side was too powerful. She wanted more than anything to finish Back to the Future and really get to know him, not just stress about if what she was doing was right for him and for herself.Â
The past couple of days had been overwhelming for them, she knew that. But she was beginning to feel that awkwardness melt away, at least enough to where she felt comfortable enough to ask him the things she'd been dying to know.Â
Things Steve could never tell her. Things only Bucky would know.Â
His dreams, his wishes. The things she would dedicate her life to making a reality. She wanted to know what type of future he'd hoped for, selfishly what future he'd hope for with her. Even more than that, she wanted to know what type of relationship he desired.Â
That morning when he'd stretched out on the couch, his head dropping into her lap, she'd felt as though maybe deep down they could have a romantic future. And as his warm arm came to wrap around her hips, unconsciously keeping her close, she couldn't help but hope for it.Â
Just thinking about it made her face feel hot. Physical touch was something she was used to, plenty of hugs and grabs from Steve and Nat having broken down the barrier she'd set about herself from years alone.Â
But something was different about the way Bucky held her, something she'd noticed from the very first time she'd found his arms around her.Â
His touch was desperate, every muscle tight and strained in an effort to keep her. His fingers curled around curves of her skin she didn't know could be held and his body was warm despite the cold expression that captured his features whenever his thoughts were distant.Â
He had buried his face that day as if worried that if he saw her truly, the delusion may end. It was heartbreaking but only made Y/n more determined to see him. To prove to not only him but herself as well that despite his past, she would only ever see him as her soulmate.Â
She sighed, thinking of how similar his brace had felt that morning.Â
Even his unconscious embrace had been the same, so full of need. Perhaps it was the fact that he was still trying to convince himself that she was real or maybe just a simple case of being touch starved but he held her like a lifeline.Â
It made her feel that same desperation, an intense desire to convince him that she wasn't going anywhere. That she'd stay at his side as whoever he wanted her to be no matter how slow going it'd be.Â
Bucky needed time to heal, to cope with all that'd been done to him. And she'd gladly help him through those steps. Because she knew what it was like to be lonely. To heal by oneself. She didn't want him to be alone, not after all the years he'd waited for her.
She would make his wait worthwhile.Â
When she arrived, it was surprisingly bare. It was the most convenient place they could think to convene with the governor of New York along with a few senate members that would relay any messages from this meeting.Â
A knot of nerves settled in her stomach, making her perpetually sick as she ascended the few steps and headed in.Â
She wished more than anything that she had more people in her corner, someone more than Pepper and Fury, the latter of which wouldn't even show. Someone who had known her for longer than just a few weeks. Someone who she could depend on.Â
Though, as she thought about it, all those people were dead and gone.Â
It was a thought that made her heart ache. If it wasn't for Bucky, she would be completely alone in the world once more and even then, he had only met her days ago.Â
Would she be able to handle not only the pressures from Pepper and Fury but also the pressure of the world's problems, all the while trying to develop a relationship with Bucky? Without anyone to help her along the way?Â
She would have to, she reasoned.Â
After all, she'd done all this to get him back. Â
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Bucky tried not to feel lonely.Â
He could handle one day without Y/n. Hell, he'd handled nearly a century. But he couldn't help the disheartening lonesomeness that ate away at him. There had to be something to do, something to both monopolize his time and his wandering thoughts.Â
His gaze fell to the smooth phone in his hand.Â
Y/n had been joking about snooping, he knew that. He was honored to be trusted with something that had become so vital in this modern world, honored that his soulmate had trusted him without question. Perhaps that was why looking through her phone had felt so wrong to him.Â
Despite his curiosity, he set it down and stood up, deciding a shower would take his mind off her absence.Â
The bathroom was smaller than he'd thought, classic within a Manhattan apartment. Although it was lacking in space, it wasn't crowded, very little across the sink aside from a half open bag of makeup and some soap. There was a shelf above the toilet, holding most of the essentials he assumed didn't fit under the sink.Â
That perfume, a familiar cologne. Two bars of deodorant; a couple bottles of lotion. A plain comb and a soft brush with flowery designs. A hair gel Bucky recognized next to a red hair dryer. Various bottles decorated the rest of the shelf, giving the bathroom a very lived-in effect.Â
Bucky had to remind himself that up until a few days ago, Steve lived there too. His things were still scattered among the apartment. His cologne still lingered on the couch. Every memory shared in this apartment had him in it.Â
This was his home before it would ever be Bucky's.Â
He tried to brush off the blooming jealousy. Steve had not only known Bucky's soulmate before him, but he'd also lived with her for years. Steve would probably know Y/n in ways Bucky may never understand and it made him feel like a boy again, upset over something so childish.Â
He opened the shower curtain, met again with two sets of shampoos and two sets of conditioner. Two loofahs: blue and purple.Â
There was only one body wash, he noticed.Â
Pomegranate Bliss.Â
Pomegranate, that's what he'd smelt that day. The day Steve hugged him a final time. The day he'd chosen one life over another.Â
Bucky had recognized it the night before as well. A waft of the cursed fruit following Y/n when she'd stepped out into the living room. Noticed it again when he'd awoken on her lap.Â
He hated pomegranates, he decided.Â
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Y/n found Pepper in the lobby, waiting patiently.Â
The urge to hesitate- so familiar in her chest was brushed aside, instead striding right up to Mrs. Stark and greeting her. "Good morning."Â
Pepper turned, a gentle smile flashed Y/n's way. "Morning. You looked over those documents?" She questioned, her eyes drifting to the very files in the younger woman's hand.Â
Y/n nodded, shifting the heavy pile in her arm as if reminded of its weight. "Yes. I assume we'll be starting by presenting the services RESTORE plans to offer?"Â
Pepper nodded, beginning to lead them toward an elevator. "That's the hope." She sighed. "But in truth, this meeting could go any number of ways."Â
"They might try to shut us down altogether or at the very least suggest a change in management. Or they may just want to use the resources we've collected as a way to make themselves look good in a time of crisis." Her head ducked for a moment, listing off the possibilities.Â
None of them were good outcomes, Y/n had noticed. Was there even a beneficial ending to this meeting other than to make them aware that RESTORE was going to begin operating?Â
"No matter what, we won't allow anyone other than us to manage this company, do you understand?" Pepper's voice grew stern, drawing Y/n from the less than hopeful expectations she'd lost herself in.Â
She lowered her head offering a half hearted nod to Pepper's demand. Her throat grew tight at the idea. They could replace her?Â
The idea was tempting for a second. She wouldn't have to bear Tony's burden and neither would Pepper or Peter. She could go back to being a psychiatrist and start a somewhat normal life again. She'd have more time to be with Bucky, more time to incorporate him into that life she missed.Â
But was she willing to run the risk of having someone incompetent or worse, corrupt take her position? Willing to place such a responsibility into the hands of someone she didn't know? To relinquish control of a task she had just come to terms with being given?Â
No.Â
Despite the weight of it, this was her job now. And as stressed as it had made her although having not even started yet, she wasn't trusting enough to let anyone else do it. Tony had entrusted her with his restitution to the world and she wouldn't be deserving of that trust if she gave up now. Not without trying.Â
And quite honestly, she didn't believe someone brought in to replace her would be able to do what she could do for the company and for the situation she'd helped put the world in. Not in comparison to her intelligence and her determination. She was partially responsible after all, this was a privilege to be given the power to help fix it.Â
"I understand."Â
"Good." Pepper offered an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry to put so much onto your shoulders at once but it's only going to get harder from now on. Having these guys acknowledge us is going to be the easiest part toward getting RESTORE started." She explained, Y/n following closely at her side.Â
Y/n's brow furrowed at this, "I thought RESTORE was completely functional." She spoke, uncertainty wavering her resolve. It was one thing to run a company, another to start one up.Â
"It is. Technically, we could begin relief efforts right now." Pepper answered, settling Y/n's unease.Â
"Then why haven't we? Why bother discussing it at all?" Y/n questioned. Of course, she knew the right course of action before making a move would be to talk over plans of action with people in powerful positions.Â
But Y/n had never been one to ask for permission. She was impulsive, self destructive, didn't work well with others: all these things she knew would make her job incredibly difficult. But the idea of asking the government to allow them to help seemed trivial, even a tad insulting.Â
Pepper pierced her lips, "Because if we simply go out and set up relief centers the government will shut us down. Unfortunately RESTORE will be connected to the Avengers and they won't be too happy to see us on the streets. And if we move too rashly, the public could see us as an imposing force. They handled the last snap without hardly any aid, they'll be reluctant to accept our help." Pepper laid out clearly, shutting down the plot she could see already formulating behind Y/n's fixed gaze. "We don't need a bad image from either side. We need them to trust us or else we won't make any difference."Â
She knew Pepper was right. Developing a good image to both sides of this battle they seemed to be fighting alone was the key to success. It would gain not only the support of this country's government but hopefully others too. And with the public's support they could produce more resources for those in need through volunteers.Â
With a sigh, her head fell admitting defeat. "I know. I just- I hate knowing there's people who are homeless right now. People who need food, medicine..." She trailed off, guilt filling her heart.Â
People had been struggling for days with what they had done and all she'd been worrying about was whether she was ready for this job or not. Had she always been this self centered? She hoped not. It wasn't a feeling she was proud of.Â
"We have people on standby. If this goes well, they'll be out across the state first thing in the morning." Pepper assured her, feeling the same responsibility Y/n had. But they had to play this carefully in order to make the most impact.Â
"Will it be enough?" Y/n asked, entering behind Pepper as they arrived at the elevator, it's doors already open and releasing other visitors.Â
Pepper tilted her head, a half hearted shrug as she pressed the button for a floor. "Tony believed that one day everyone would come back, as outrageous as it seemed. He made sure to have necessities ready for when that happened." She told Y/n her gaze lifting ever so slightly above the numbers that displayed the floors they passed, as if trying to fight tears.Â
Y/n had grown to hate the guilt that seemed to forever dwell just behind her gratefulness. Having Bucky was a blessing and she would forever be indebted to Tony for making it happen. But it didn't diminish the sorrow she felt for the circumstances in which he had done it.Â
"But he wasn't the only one to have believed that. There's organizations across the world that have taken the same steps, companies that are willing to help expand RESTORE beyond New York, beyond the United States." Pepper revealed her tone firm with purpose. "People who are ready to follow you."Â
The statement had taken Y/n aback. It almost seemed like a lie but Pepper's words were true, sealed with her unwavering stare.Â
People were willing to follow her? A woman who held little to her name aside from her genius mind and inclination to try until she failed?Â
"I don't know if I'm ready."Â
"That's alright." Pepper nodded, walking with Y/n off of the elevator and toward the receptionist's desk. "That's why I'm here. Trust me, having a company thrown into your hands isn't the easiest thing. But sadly it's very in character for Tony." She continued, a saddened smile gracing her lips.Â
"Mrs. Stark, Ms. L/n. Please, wait here." The woman greeted, standing from her desk and heading toward a room behind her.Â
"Doctor." Y/n corrected half-heartedly as the woman went, turning her head to see Pepper finding a seat at one of the couches in the center of the room. She moved to sit with her, laying out the documents onto her lap. Â
"Do you think he would've run it himself if he'd never met me?"
The question came suddenly, so without thought that Y/n had even surprised herself with it. She couldn't help but watch Pepper's expression cautiously, readying herself to apologize at any given moment.Â
But Pepper held no ill will toward it, in fact she considered it carefully.Â
"I'm not sure." She replied at last. "The old Tony, no. He didn't even run his own company, it would've been me to help you like I ran Stark Industries."Â
"But the Tony he became during those five years, he would've." Pepper smiled. "He was always a good man, just lost. But when we lost everyone and Morgan was born- he became better. He wouldn't have left this for you to run alone, not when it was his own responsibility. He had this sense of duty, despite his reputation." She explained.Â
It was a heartwarming idea. One Y/n wished was the truth. She thought maybe the weight on her chest would be lighter if Tony was at her side too, making snarky remarks about how sitting around like this felt like waiting to see the principal. Or perhaps encouraging her the way he used to in the weeks she'd known him. That fatherly way he didn't realize he was doing.Â
She wondered if it was her loneliness talking. She was a grown woman, she could handle this on her own.Â
But she didn't want to.Â
What would Bucky do if he was at her side? Would he make an attempt at a joke, something to lighten her mood even if she didn't get it? Or would he be just as anxious, trying desperately to hide it for her sake?Â
Would he even stay?Â
He would, she knew this. Even if she wasn't his soulmate, his sense of obligation would command him to do whatever he could to help those around him.Â
"I know what you mean." Y/n smiled fondly. She had known Bucky all of three days and she found herself already missing him just an hour into the day.Â
Was this what it was like having a soulmate? Because he was quickly wrecking her sense of priorities.Â
"So, Mr. Barnes?" Pepper pondered aloud, smothering the quiet that had fallen over them.
"Yeah." Y/n confessed a bit sheepishly. Â
"That must be interesting. You were close with Steve, right?" She replied, only able to imagine how weird it must've been for the younger woman. Especially if the rumors amongst what was left of the Avengers were true.Â
"Yes, but not like that. He was my best friend." Y/n reiterated, wanting to leave no place for suggestion. The love she had for Steve was one that was held for a lifetime friend, someone you trusted completely. And while her relationship with Bucky was still fresh, barely even a friendship, she knew it was different than her and Steve.Â
It was overwhelming, consuming. Already, she knew there was nothing she wouldn't do for him and she didn't even know his favorite color. It was fervid.Â
"Was?" Pepper questioned suddenly, her eyes drifting somewhere behind Y/n.Â
Y/n's brows furrowed at her question, shifting slowly to turn and glance at what had caught the woman's attention. "What-?"Â
The sight that met her was something she was woefully unprepared for. Or rather someone.Â
There was Steve, his oh so gentle smile once more given to Y/n like a gift upon his return.Â
"Hiya, Y/n."Â Â
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Bucky's shower was quick. He couldn't bring himself to stand under the warm water for too long. Maybe it was a practice engraved in his brain from his HYDRA days. Or perhaps the more demeaning fact that the longer he stood there, the more he began to think of Steve and Y/n's time together.Â
He got out only a few minutes later, running a towel through his hair and drying off. The mirror to his right had fogged up but he still stared into it, met with his own cloudy reflection. He cringed, his shame washed over him once more for having seen Y/n exposed the night before.Â
Tying the towel around his waist, he went out into the hall finding Steve's room. His temporary home.Â
He was grateful Steve's clothes fit him, allowing Bucky his own wardrobe to borrow. It was something they weren't able to do as kids: share clothes. Bucky grew tall and broad too fast and they were never the same size. But the great majority of his hand-me-downs eventually found their way to Steve.Â
Bucky wondered if Steve had felt like this wearing his clothes. The feeling that despite them being a perfect fit, they didn't sit right on his body. That no matter what he did they wouldn't become his own.Â
The closet was shut harshly, trying in vain to drive the thought away. He wished Y/n was there, sitting patiently on the couch, ready to send away his torturous thoughts with a simple word.Â
But when he stepped out into the living room, she was still gone.Â
He'd been expecting it, having no illusions that she'd suddenly return as if sensing his distress. She had a life before him and he knew it would take time to fully accept him into it.Â
It didn't make him hate being alone any less.Â
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"You evil, bastard!" Y/n cried, the documents forgotten on the couch next to her as she stood and made her way over to Steve.Â
He could only laugh at her angered shout, knowing the words had meant nothing to him. The hug she reached for was given immediately, enveloping her once more like it was yesterday.Â
"I missed you so much." Her voice ached, muffled in his coat. "Why didn't you call? Or at least tell me you were alive?" Eyes welled with frustrated tears were pointed his way, true anger flooding them.Â
Y/n tried very hard not to cry. It was the last thing she needed, going into such an important meeting with runny mascara and a stuffy nose. But the urge was still there.Â
She had been able to push away the thought of losing Steve with the appearance of Bucky and the death of Tony. Because after all Steve wasn't really gone. He'd just left to live the life he should've. He would be happy.
But deep down she knew what that had meant. He would die in the past, never to see her again.Â
And yet he was here, hugging her though he felt thinner and his bones felt weaker.Â
It hit her all at once, almost bringing a sob from her chest. She was grateful he was here. Here before she'd come to terms with him leaving.Â
He offered her a small smile, his hand trailing to her free wrist as she pulled away. "I thought Bucky would've told you. I didn't call because I knew you guys needed time to talk." His excuse was just that: an excuse.Â
The truth was he was too scared to approach her. After nearly 80 years away he had only found the courage to see her today when he knew she'd need him the most.Â
"Bucky knew?" She asked. There was no bitterness to the question, only a lingering hurt.Â
"I guess he thought you did, too." Steve told her, his brow creasing with worry as her gaze fell.Â
Y/n decided not to dwell on it any longer, refusing to be upset over something that didn't matter anymore. "How? How is this possible?" She questioned, her hand grasping desperately at his coat as if he might disappear again.Â
Steve chuckled. "I guess the serum has kept the old ticker ticking."Â
It was a miracle, just like the one from nearly a century before. Y/n should've known. "This is amazing." She smiled, attempting to reclaim tears that threatened escape. Â
"I missed you too, by the way. You haven't aged a day." Steve teased.
Y/n narrowed her eyes on him, a quiet laugh from behind her only fueling her glare. "Well, I'd hope not."Â
"They're ready to see you now." A voice called suddenly, drawing the attention of all three.Â
Steve let go reluctantly, his smile faltering. He'd hoped to catch up for a bit longer. It had been nearly a lifetime since he'd last seen her and while he knew it was his own doing, he still wished selfishly to spend every moment he had left in his long life alongside her. But he could stand another hour.Â
"Go on." He forced an encouraging pat on her shoulder. "I'll be waiting here. Knock 'em dead."
Y/n nodded, her head turning between the woman and Steve. Pepper had already begun to follow the woman, not wanting to waste anymore time. Y/n moved to follow, her gaze lingering on Steve.Â
"Ugh." She groaned in defeat, pulling Steve into one more hug. "I hate you. How dare you be so likeable." Her complaint made him laugh, his hand patting her back softly.Â
She then rushed to follow Pepper, bracing herself for what awaited.Â
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Bucky wanted to make himself useful.Â
If he found a way to help take care of this home he'd been given, perhaps he'd feel a little less like an intruder? With some luck he could also distract himself just long enough to get through the day.Â
Although, as he stared rather pathetically into the empty trashcan, he felt as though it might not be so easy. The sink was bare too, not a dish in sight for him to convince himself he was being helpful with. He debated dropping a fork. Then he'd have to wash it, right?Â
Soon, he ventured outside of the kitchen, folding the blanket he'd awoke with and draping it behind the couch, unsure of where it belonged. His eyes scanned for anything that might've felt out of place. There had to be something to pick up, something to fold or dust.Â
He'd even shine her shoes. Did people even do that anymore?Â
Ultimately, he gave up. Collapsing into the couch with a defeated sigh.Â
Her phone was still on the cushion next to him, lighting up when he sat down beside it. The wallpaper was of them: Y/n and Steve. The two most important people in Bucky's life, the only people in his life
The picture looked so joyous, so full of life. Both wore a smile that could light a million days without sun, their eyes just as bright. Y/n's arms were wrapped around Steve's shoulders, his hands tucked under her thighs to hold her up. A simple ride on his back, a moment full of laughter shown by her head tilted back in a fit of giggles.Â
He'd yet to see her smile like that. Had yet to make her laugh like that.Â
Bucky wondered if it was Steve who had drawn such a raw and wholesome reaction from her. Wondered if he would ever be able to recreate it himself.Â
He stared a few moments longer, allowing his envy to fester before forcing it away once more.Â
Being jealous was something he hadn't felt in a lifetime. He hadn't had a reason nor a right to be jealous of anyone for the last 80 years, his crimes keeping him from hoping for any more than what he needed. Â
Bucky hadn't felt even a hint of envy since before he'd fallen and even then it was just over pointless things. Jealous that Steve was suddenly taller, jealous of Dum Dum when he drove the tank, jealous of whoever got to handle that gun he'd seen Howard made.Â
Nothing meaningful, just a glimmer of the selfish emotion.Â
The only thing he'd ever been truly envious of were people who had their soulmates. It rotted inside of him, this resentment, the spite.Â
All his life he'd dreamed of her, the life he'd one day give her. And once finding out how long he'd have to wait, it hurt seeing people with their soulmates. Hurt especially when people didn't appreciate theirs as much as he knew he would've cherished his. It was like salt in the wound, watching people around him treat soulmates so lightly when he would never have a chance at making his happy.Â
He'd hoped his once jealous nature would've disappeared upon finally meeting Y/n. And it had for a moment. But to his dismay it returned, presenting itself in an emotion he didn't know how to handle.Â
His best friend had spoken of his friendship with Y/n while in the hospital waiting for her to wake up. Bucky had listened, unsure before why he felt so inclined to. Listened as he spoke of how traumatic the snap was. How devastated Y/n was to lose her soulmate to it.Â
Listened as Steve retold the story of how they'd met at a group counseling session run by Y/n herself. How Steve had admired her resolve to help others despite her own pain. It was what had compelled him to pursue a friendship with her. His desire to help her as well.Â
It was a touching story.Â
But it only furthered Bucky's envy. Because at the end of the day, Steve had healed his soulmate. Not him.Â
It was impossible to not be covetous of their relationship. To not long for the part of her heart that already belonged to his best friend.Â
And he hated himself for it.Â
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"Thank you for joining us Ms. L/n." Senator Clarke greeted, staring pensively at the papers before him. More than likely the same documents she held in her hand.Â
"Thank you for having us. And it's Dr. L/n, if you wouldn't mind." Y/n spoke, trying to muster a small smile. Â
"My mistake." The man replied coldly. She couldn't blame him, times were difficult.Â
The two men at his side were representatives of some kind, their titles having slipped her mind. It didn't matter. She need only to relay the message to the senator before her so that it may reach the people who needed to hear it. The people who didn't have the time to see her themselves, already bombarded with several issues of their own.Â
"It's my understanding that you're here to alert us that Mr. Stark's company is setting into motion." He looked at Y/n, his expression firm and his gaze distant.Â
"Yes, that is correct." She nodded, sifting through the papers on the desk before her. "We would like to begin as soon as possible. We've made preparations to set up relief centers around not only the city but the state. Within the week we could have them around the country."Â
The man said nothing, quietly drifting his stare between her and the grafts Pepper had supplied them with.
Y/n found herself staring intently, her heart racing for any response from the man. They didn't have time to wait around for him to think it over, they needed to set their plan into motion. It was the easiest decision he could ever make and he was pondering it.Â
"This company, RESTORE. It's a stand-alone operation?" He questioned.Â
"I've been told that there are other corporations around the world willing to cooperate with this plan." Y/n informed, her stare falling onto Pepper as if confirming it to herself once more. Pepper's lips were pressed into a thin line, brow creased in thought.Â
"Well, it seems that this plan could be very beneficial. I see that Mr. Stark has gone through all the necessary procedures in order to get the company started. I will bring this plan back to Washington. I'll also try contacting the Secretary of State and ask her position on the global aspect of this." The man explained, shuffling the papers together with a sigh.
Y/n let out a breath of relief, barely audible over the frantic beating of her heart. Truthfully, she'd anticipated more of a fight, a fight Pepper had prepared her for mere minutes before. They were both ready to defend their plan til red in the face but these men seemed to have no opposition. Â
Perhaps they were more desperate than they were prideful. She was hopeful that maybe there was a chance that not only would they get acknowledged, they could even secure government support, funds even.Â
"When will we expect a meeting with Mr. Stark?"Â Â
Just her luck to have spoken too soon.Â
Y/n swallowed thickly, "Mr. Stark was a casualty in the most recent battle with Thanos." She replied, trying to keep her tone as even as possible. She could feel it; the green light fading.Â
The man's face fell slightly. "I hadn't heard. I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Stark."Â
Pepper nodded silently, seeming to notice the shift in confidence that Y/n had sensed. Tony wasn't going to be running the company, a man that they trusted with a task like this one despite his distaste toward authority. He was one of the few to agree with the Accords, to side with the government. And given his intelligence and somewhat success under pressure from world wide threats, he was the person they placed their confidence in.Â
Y/n watched the men before her shifting their gazes uncomfortably, wondering if they should move forward with the plan knowing this information.Â
"Who will be running this company then?" The second man spoke, unrecognizable to Y/n.Â
"My husband left the company to Dr. L/n. She will be leading further operations." Pepper answered, trying to make up for their doubt with her determined announcement. If only her assurance was enough.Â
Senator Clarke shook his head, dropping the files into a pile at his hands. "I have to advise against that. We cannot in sound mind allow someone so inexperienced to operate a company like this. Let alone with government backing."Â
Y/n bit her cheek, irritated with how they belittled her but reminded herself that they were there to make peace.Â
"I'm afraid that's non-negotiable, Mr. Stark was very clear with his desire for me to run RESTORE." She insisted, fixing her gaze upon them with a stern frown. "And as far as my qualifications go, I believe I may be the most qualified here."Â
"My superiors may not agree." Clarke refuted.Â
Y/n could feel the agitation rise within her, burning away at her already sore body. It coursed through her veins, growing hot across the scars that seemed to be made of hot iron.Â
"While I don't have hands-on experience in running a company of this magnitude, I run my own private practice and you'll find I'm an exceedingly fast learner. My intelligence alone should be enough to at least begin problem solving." Y/n tried her best to prove her capability. But in truth, it didn't sound all too convincing.Â
"Should be?" The second man echoed, stunned by her uncertainty. "I know I speak for all of us when I say I'd feel much more at ease placing someone more competent in charge of such an endeavor."Â
Pepper could feel Y/n tense next to her, a nerve being struck. Yet, any attempt made to remind her of her poise would've been ignored, harsh words finding their way to her lips.Â
"To be quite blunt, I don't think that matters. At the end of the day, I'm offering you all a get out of jail free card for this pandemic and who's handing it to you should be the least of the government's worries." She snapped.Â
Y/n knew she should've felt regret the moment the words left her lips. Again when she saw the mix of insult and annoyance on the men's faces. But the regret never came.Â
"You're quite confident that we won't shut down this entire operation." The third man finally spoke.Â
"I believe that would be the worst mistake you could make." Y/n replied, firm in her resolve. Â
The third man only stared back at her with a mildly infuriated glare, his silence returning to him. Y/n chose not to budge. She wouldn't apologize for being indelicate when people were starving and fighting amongst themselves for their homes. Not when she could supply help.Â
She'd stood toe to toe with Thanos. She wouldn't relent now. Not to three middle aged men, who had probably never experienced true hardships. Not like the people they governed over.Â
"I'll discuss this with my superiors, someone will contact you as soon as we've come to a conclusion." Senator Clarke cut in, ceasing the intense atmosphere that'd been created.Â
Y/n nodded shortly, "I do hope you make this a top priority."Â
"I'll be sure to convey the importance of this decision." Clarke affirmed, standing and collecting his things. The others followed, words saved behind their teeth for the moment they were out of her earshot.Â
Y/n bit her tongue, not feeding into the uncontrollable rage that had flooded her senses. It was overwhelming. Never before had she lost her composure like that.Â
"Good day, Ms. L/n."Â
The scorching marks on her skin seemed to fade, a dull ache taking the place of the agonizing boiling that was once there. Her gaze drifted to the small gap in her coverage, the tips of two fingers on her left arm. The purple scars peeking out from under her cast shined under the fluorescents, a certain spark traveling down the marks.Â
Her breath hitched, a tinge of heat biting away at the very spot.Â
This wasn't good.Â
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Hey guys, sorry for the long overdue update, I've been sort of busy. Enjoy a bit of the Bucky fluff while I work up to the important bits and hopefully the story will move a bit fasterđ Thank you all for reading!
Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.
But the pain in their lives were connected.
Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.
And Bucky never got to meet her.
"Did you know that the first pizzeria in America was here in New York City? It was called the Lombardi's." Y/n noted, walking not so quietly at Bucky's side.Â
He listened with a slight curve of his lips, an amused smile threatening to break out. "I didn't."Â
They walked down the street back toward Y/n's apartment, Bucky carrying a box containing the very object she raved on about.Â
"It was originally a grocery store but in 1905 they started selling pizzas." She continued, her free hand coming to swipe away some of the hair that had fallen into her face. "But you see, pizza was still seen as a foreign food so it wasn't too popular. That is until after the war when returning soldiers from Italy started hyping up it's popularity."Â
It was entertaining to say the least and Bucky was grateful her voice overpowered any intruding thoughts his mind would conquer as soon as the silence returned. "You sure know a lot about pizza." He observed the rather obvious fact, glancing down at her now flushed face.Â
"I guess, sorry." She offered a nervous chuckle. "Um, my mom used to say I know too much about too many things. When I'm nervous I just list off a bunch of useless things I know. Sorry for the rambling." She apologized, her eyes meeting his own for just a moment before darting off toward the sidewalk once more.Â
Bucky shrugged, studying her in his own way. Just during the day they'd spent at each other's sides he had taken the opportunity to memorize some of her habits. Such as the way she seemed to chew at the inside of her mouth when she wasn't actively talking or involved in a conversation. Or the way she was constantly bouncing her leg or tapping her foot, unable to stay still. He even noticed that she couldn't help but rub at her chest, presumably an unconscious reminder of the surgery she underwent.Â
"No, it's okay. I sort of like it, it's almost educational." His hands shifted on the box, his head lifting as they approached the building. "Though I'd probably listen to you talk about anything all day." Bucky confessed.Â
Y/n froze outside the door to the apartment building, her face fortunately downcast to hide her surprise.Â
Hearing it himself, Bucky wanted to bolt. His first attempt at flirting and it came impulsively and unrehearsed. It was just so natural, so instinct to say something to ease a pretty girl's mind. It was just his inability to say it without sounding coy that had disappointed him. The shame was overwhelming. Sure, back when he was in his 20s and had no real plan for the future he could get away with cheesy lines and dorky confessions.Â
But this was his soulmate. It had to take more than his old moves.Â
"Wow." She chuckled softly, the awe from his words apparent in the sound. She was practically floored by what he had said. Of course, she'd thought about a romantic aspect to their relationship. Hell, didn't everyone upon meeting their soulmate?Â
But her soulmate was James Barnes. Someone who, according to Steve, was a notorious ladies man. Someone who she'd heard through stories could pick up any girl he set his eyes on and take them on dates that they'd surely never forget.Â
And now she'd fallen victim to his charm.Â
It seemed to hit her all at once. The hero from all of Steve's stories, the man she'd grown to cherish and care for in her own way, was flirting with her.Â
It made her feel very small and very self conscious very fast. It was like talking to the most popular kid in school or being called out to by a celebrity. Nothing more than a chance encounter, an encounter she realized she may experience for a long time to come. He was her soulmate after all.Â
"Steve, told me you were a flirt but I guess I wasn't ready." She smiled, a laugh following that was void of judgement and even a little bashful.Â
The sound drew a small smile to his face, watching her with eyes full of admiration as his nerves melted away. He wished he could bottle whatever it was about her that put him at such ease. To keep it with him for whenever he felt like the guilt might be too much to bear. She could make good money with that magic of hers, giving peace to the world one person at a time.Â
Reaching out to open the door, he tugged it open for her, figuring he could make up for a rushed flirt with a simple act of chivalry. She smiled and thanked him before heading toward the stairs.Â
"Actually, wait." She paused suddenly, turning to Bucky as he followed her in. "You can't flirt until I've at least showered. For my peace of mind." She lightly teased, her initial shock melting away with each passing second.Â
Bucky let out an airy chuckle, his heart racing at her words. "No promises."Â
He would get to flirt with her again.Â
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"So, wait." Bucky mumbled, his brow furrowing as he sat up straight. "The Statue of Liberty?"Â
"Mhm." Y/n confirmed, giggling at the confusion that continued to hold Bucky's features captive.Â
"But how?"Â
"The slime. Plus the powerful serenade of Howard Huntsberry." Y/n answered, leaning further into the armrest as she watched him from across the couch.Â
Bucky sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the tv. His jaw was slightly slack as he watched the loveable team march the Statue of Liberty through New York Harbor, completely engulfed in the story.Â
She couldn't help but stare.Â
There was a glimmer in his eyes, excitement or amusement, maybe a bit of both. He seemed delighted, sitting there watching the second Ghostbusters, even more so once learning it was her favorite movie.Â
During the first movie his initial astonishment had subsided and he began to pay more attention to the plot. Movies, even ones from the 80s, were significantly different from the ones he'd seen in his time.Â
Of course, he'd been exposed to technology way beyond the simple comedy he was watching now, probably seen more than even she had. But this was different. This was the first time he was watching something for his own entertainment, not a briefing video or the news.Â
Just a simple work of fiction that was written to bring one joy.Â
Bucky sat silent for the final ten minutes of the movie, studying the screen with a faint smile every so often. And it wasn't until the familiar theme song began to play that he turned his gaze to her, sensing that the movie had come to an end.Â
"Is there a third?" He asked, hopeful.Â
Y/n sat up too, "Well, there's a remake from 2016 that features most of the original cast but still it's just a remake. This is the last of the classics." She answered, straightening her back after nearly four hours on the couch.Â
Bucky nodded at her response, his gaze drifting to the end credits where they played takes from the movie. "So, did you like it?" She asked, a smile playing on her lips as he nodded.Â
"Yeah. I've always liked fantasy stuff." He spoke softly, as if thinking back to works of fiction he used to enjoy in another life. Y/n watched carefully as he did, ready to dive in and pull him from his thoughts as soon as she felt he was drowning. But he seemed content with the memories, allowing her to relax.Â
"Personally I'm a science fiction fan. Though by definition their science is most definitely fiction, they're still fun to watch." She explained, rising to her feet and stretching her hands above her head. Her body quivered slightly, both from the intensity of her muscles quaking and the loss of warmth she'd been building on the couch.Â
Bucky turned to her, "Science fiction?" He asked.Â
In the 40s he'd been somewhat of a geek. Not enough to truly pursue anything related to it like chemistry or engineering as a career but enough that he'd wanted to spend his last night before being shipped to war at the Stark Expo.Â
Steve, being more of an art fiend, thought his friend's fascination with technological advances was dorky but definitely something that set him apart from men like him. He may have been a fighter all his life but boy did he enjoy tech.Â
His time in Wakanda had really been life changing, seeing all the advances that not only surpassed his own time but the present time of the world around them. And they happily welcomed him into their world, allowing him to witness all the growth, even if he really had no understanding of how most of it worked.Â
"Yeah, like that futuristic time travel stuff. Or I guess a lot of different things fit into Sci Fi but it's mostly time travel and end of the world type of stuff." She explained. "Like that movie Back to the Future."Â
"I haven't seen it." Bucky replied. He was a tad interested in what she spoke of. Actually he was very interested. Even despite her comment about it being fictional science, he didn't care. That was two of his favorite things after all: science and fiction.Â
"Well, guess we found what we're gonna watch next." She chuckled at his smothered excitement.Â
She wondered if it was his first time having a moment to actually catch up with the world, even if it was only watching movies. Something told her it was. Has anyone allowed him a moment to breathe? To come to terms with the fact that he was living in 2023 not 1945? Yet again, she figured the answer was no.Â
"Tell you what, I'm gonna go shower but as soon as I get back we'll get some popcorn and start Back to the Future, okay?" She told him, her kind eyes surveying for any hint of objection.Â
He merely nodded, coming to stand as well. His legs ached for a few seconds before adjusting to the feeling. When was the last time he'd sat in one place for this long of his own free will? It was a disturbing thought but the last time he'd sat for so long was when he'd been imprisoned and triggered by Zemo.Â
"Uh, yeah. I'll be here." Bucky replied, cursing himself for how pathetic he sounded.Â
Y/n nodded, beginning to head toward the hall leading to the bathroom. Sparing one more glance over her shoulder, she watched as Bucky's hand rose to rub his neck. She smiled, watching him for a few more moments before disappearing into the bathroom.Â
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"'I'll be here'?" Bucky groaned. He walked around the living room, boardline pacing as he heard the shower turn on.Â
He'd tried to sound reassuring but his words came out less as a charming 'I can't wait for you to come back' and more like a desperate 'I promise I won't run away again, honest'. He closed his eyes with a sigh. How had he done it before? The whole courtship ritual he used to be great at.Â
Surely, he'd fall back into it with time, like riding a bike. But that led him to wonder if maybe he was moving too fast. After all, they'd only met yesterday, just barely 24 hours before.Â
He supposed it was how he'd imagined meeting his soulmate when he was still a teen taking over his interpretation of how they should interact. He'd always believed that they'd meet one night at a bar or some other place you can meet girls. He'd sweep her off her feet and they dance for hours. Then they'd spend the rest of the night together blissfully getting to know each other with a few flirts here and there. And when the sun rose, they'd confess and the rest would be history.Â
It was a simple and rather cliche way of going about things but hell, that's what he was. Simple and cliche.Â
He wished it was easier. Wished that he understood what she wanted, wished even more that he had the courage to ask.Â
Did she think he was going too fast? Or did she feel the same as him? They'd waited too long without each other to worry over whether things were too fast paced. Up until a few days ago they didn't even think they'd meet each other, did it really matter if they began their relationship after an acceptable amount of time?Â
A buzzing to his left forcibly dragged him from his wallowing, his attention turning to the coffee table. Y/n had left her phone. The screen was lit up.Â
A phone call?Â
His heart pulsed, wondering what he should do. Should he ignore it? What if it was important? Should he answer it? Was he on close enough terms to answer Y/n's phone for her? Should he bring it to her? Would that be appropriate?Â
Leaning over toward the table, he peeked at the screen and read who was calling.Â
Nick Fury.Â
He swallowed thickly. The name was familiar. One of his last targets as the Winter Soldier.Â
Why was he calling Y/n?Â
Deciding that he was just as curious as he was courteous, he grabbed the phone, heading in the direction he'd watched Y/n go. The bathroom door was closed, light flooding from below the door into the dim hallway.Â
"Y/n?" He asked anxiously, a small knock accompanying his call. "Um, your phone is ringing."Â
Her voice came through the door, "Who is it?"Â Â
"Nick Fury?" He said unsure.Â
He began to think back to that day. He remembered HYDRA confirming that his mission had been successful, that Nick Fury was dead. But here he was calling Bucky's soulmate at 5:30 in the evening like it was any other day.
Y/n opened the door quickly, just barely peeking out enough to grab the phone while shielding herself with the door. She thanked him quietly, grabbing the phone and unlocking it.Â
He watched as she declined the call, instead sending an annoyed text to the caller. She typed really fast, he noticed, faster than he had watched anyone text. Maybe she was upset with Fury?Â
"Thank you for bringing this to me, I just don't have the patience to talk to him right now." She let out a forced chuckle as she shut off her phone. "Actually, can I ask for one more favor? I forgot a bag for my cast. Would you mind grabbing one from under the sink?" She asked, sending him an apologetic smile.Â
He nodded, not minding at all. He was actually grateful for the excuse to do something other than stand there any longer. He felt like a pervert, waiting on the other side of the door when she was probably somewhat nude.Â
Flirtatious comments and holding hands were one thing but anything more was too much he reasoned. If nothing else, he was a gentleman.Â
The trash bags weren't that hard to find. He tugged one free, scrunching his nose at the overly fake flower smell that accompanied the bag. He then stood, heading back to the bathroom.
The shower continued on, growing louder as he grew closer. Hesitantly he knocked twice, watching as the door cracked once more. "Thank you, Bucky. You're a lifesaver." She let out a grateful laugh, carefully reaching out to grab the trash bag.
Bucky watched as she did, letting the plastic slip from his fingers into her own. He did his best to look nowhere while also paying enough attention to not drop the bag. However, his somewhat success was interfered with. His eyes only lifted a moment, something catching his attention just above her head.Â
There was a mirror on the wall across from him, reflecting the door and in front of it, Y/n dressed in nothing but her undergarments. His eyes widened slightly as Y/n turned, closing the door and leaving him completely struck.Â
"I'll be out in a few minutes!" She called, completely oblivious to what he'd seen.Â
It had only been a moment but it was enough for Bucky to realize what had caught his eye in the first place.Â
There across the entirety of her back were dark bruises varying in size and color. Some scattered across her ribs while the darker ones trailed up her spine, outlining each vertebrae. There were even some at the nape of her neck that looked the worst.Â
Yet, these weren't what had shaken him so. No, the most painful sight didn't come until she had turned, her chest and arms coming into view.Â
There, spanning out from her heart to the tips of her fingers, were purple scars unlike any he'd ever seen.Â
He released a quivering sigh. He had seen glimpses of them earlier but they were easier to dismiss then. He had no clue of her condition or all of the injuries she'd sustained during the battle. But upon seeing the severity in which they truly were, he couldn't ignore them.Â
Why had he ignored them? Why didn't she say anything, wasn't she hurting? How naive was he to believe she'd survived all that without a scratch?Â
Was she even planning to tell him about them?Â
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Y/n sighed in relief, setting her phone next to the sink before turning toward the shower.Â
Once stripping the rest of her clothes and securing her cast within the trash bag, she stepped in the shower.Â
The water had begun to steam after already running for a few minutes, swaddling her in a flush of warmth. It was soothing but she didn't dare enjoy it long. She wanted to go back to Bucky as soon as she could.Â
She was happy she got to spend the day with him, grateful that she'd be able to spend the rest of it with him as well.Â
Although new to both of them, she could tell he was also enraptured by the fact that he was side by side with his soulmate. It was a hard feeling to describe. Not quite satisfied but significantly different than she had felt before.Â
Like reconnecting with an old friend and looking forward to the plans you've made with them.Â
It made her feel something she hadn't felt in a long time.Â
At home.Â
Doing the best she could to scrub her hair, she strained. Her doctor said lifting her arm above her head for longer than thirty seconds in the weeks after her surgery would be difficult but it wasn't like she could just not shower.Â
Maybe she could ask Bucky.Â
She winced at the idea. When had she become so helpless? And besides they may be soulmates but there were certainly boundaries, right?
She cursed the fact that there wasn't a manual for soulmates. Maybe she could follow dating etiquette from the 40s? Probably too outdated.Â
Bucky seemed to think of her in some sort of romantic aspect, his not so subtle but endearing attempts at flirting being a sign of that. That was a content place to start. Lots of couples started out meeting with a pick up line at a nice bar and getting to know each other came second.Â
It was a part of dating, getting to know everything about each other.Â
Dating.Â
Her face flushed at the suggestion.Â
The idea that her feelings had performed such a 180 since Steve had told her the truth was shocking. Just a few weeks ago she still harbored a substantial amount of resentment toward James Barnes.Â
'No', she told herself.Â
The Winter Soldier, that was who she had resented.Â
Believing that the two were different was easier than she'd imagined, understanding completely why Steve had never blamed Bucky.Â
The day she'd spent with him really confirmed everything he'd told her.Â
This man before her, though not exactly the Bucky she'd heard of from the stories, wasn't the Winter Soldier either. Instead he was someone new. Someone kind, inquisitive and hopeful. Someone who in the same breath was worn and fragmented. Someone who needed the support of a soulmate in this new life of his.Â
So she buried any and every thought about the Soldier. Replaced the empty space with Bucky.Â
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Bucky decided not to ask about the scars.Â
He had scars of his own, scars he couldn't bear to look at, let alone show to the light of day. He had no right to even see hers, asking her why she hadn't shown them to him was way out of line.Â
So, he didnât.Â
And in an effort to stop the shame of having seen her so vulnerable from overwhelming him, he watched silently as she paced the kitchen making popcorn. She hummed softly, a tune he didn't recognize but one he liked seeing Y/n enjoy.Â
"You don't have allergies or anything, right? I figured popcorn is probably a safe bet but I don't wanna accidentally poison you." She chuckled softly, forcing damp hair behind her shoulder as she bent down below the counter.Â
"Um, no. I don't think the serum would allow it anyways." Bucky replied. He knew vaguely of the effects of super soldier serum, one of those things being enhanced everything and immunity to common illnesses. Allergies probably applied, not that he had any before receiving it.Â
"Yeah," she stood holding a plastic wrapped rectangle, a concentrated look on her face. "I mean if it can cure asthma then probably." The rectangle was stripped of his wrapper and the brown object was thrown into the microwave, Y/n pressing a few buttons before turning away.Â
"It's been so long since I've participated in a movie marathon. I'm kinda excited." She confessed, smiling happily at him.Â
That simple action was enough to practically knock the air from his chest, his face flushing and his gaze softening. Was it possible to fall in love with a smile? If it was, he probably just had.Â
"Didn't we just do one?" He asked. Unlike Y/n he'd never partaken in a 'movie marathon' so he was still new to the concept. What was the difference between sitting and watching Ghostbusters to sitting and watching Back to the Future?Â
"Well, we didn't have popcorn then." Y/n answered simply. "First rule of movie marathoning. Popcorn."Â
As if summoned, the microwave beeped, a few stray pops sounding off as she reached in and grabbed the bag.Â
A familiar smell filled the air: the buttery aroma of fresh popcorn. The bag steamed when she opened it, making her eyes squint as she ripped it open further. The contents were poured into a bowl and Y/n began to make her way toward the couch, shaking the bowl a bit to distribute the butter.Â
"Alrighty, movie time."Â
The movie began, opening on several different clocks all varying in shape and sizes. The only thing they held in common were the times displayed on them.Â
7:53
Bucky did his best to pay attention.Â
The movie wasn't to blame. It was entertaining enough and given different circumstances, he might've had an easier time watching it. Yet his company was unintentionally challenging him.Â
Y/n had sat closer than she had the first time, distant enough to keep him comfortable but still within reach of the bowl on the coffee table.Â
He didn't mind the closeness. At least he tried to convince himself. Perhaps it was his inability to figure out how to sit or what to do with himself with her presence so close. Or maybe it was the fact that every time he unconsciously went to move his arm to rest behind the couch, he would freeze, realizing how his habit looked like a cheap move.Â
So he sat with his forearms folded on his knees, paying vague attention to the movie as he tried to figure out what to do.Â
It wasn't Y/n's fault, he knew that. In fact she'd been very considerate, opening her home to him, handling his disappearance that morning, even taking his pathetic attempts at being charming in stride. She was perfect.Â
And he was overwhelmed.Â
Thankfully, he didn't have to worry too long.Â
Apparently all it took was a shower and warm clothes for her to start to drift.Â
About half way through the first movie, exhaustion had begun to eat away at Y/n. Her eyelashes fluttered every few minutes, trying desperately to keep her eyes open. Her position next to him shifted, her knees coming to her chest and her head leaning into the cushion against the back of the couch.Â
Watching her fall asleep for the second time since they met reminded him of the fact that she'd been struck by the very same power that had wiped out half the population. He was lucky she was alive- that she was sitting there next to him watching movies.Â
He was grateful, even more so than he could process until then.Â
He'd waited 90 years for her only to nearly lose her three days before they were to meet. Fate had been cruel, almost cruel enough to take her life. But she'd survived.Â
And she was worth waiting a lifetime just like Steve had told him. She was almost too worth it, making it surprisingly easy for Bucky to forget everything that had led him to her while in her presence. Just being close to her, he could feel a change. A miniscule change, but a change for the better.Â
Bucky watched as her breathing grew slow and her eyes closed for a final time that night, falling asleep next to him.Â
Gently, he brushed her hair aside, resisting the urge to shift her head to his chest. He would maintain a distance, not daring to mess anything up. He could take things slow; he could wait until she told him otherwise.Â
Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.
But the pain in their lives were connected.
Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.
And Bucky never got to meet her.
They walked for a while in silence, Nat leading the way to some unknown location. It all looked the same, miles upon miles of water and orange skies.Â
Y/n wondered when it would end. The walking and the silence. There was so much she still wanted to tell Nat and yet she'd wasted most of her precious time with her in silence.
"Nat?" She asked suddenly.Â
Natasha paused, turning to look at her. Her precious smile graced her lips and Y/n could feel a smile of her own creep onto her face. "What's up?"Â
"I just- I missed you so much." She confessed, looking down at the water. She couldn't even begin to piece together all the things she wanted to say. Or how grateful she was to have the time she did with her.Â
"I missed you too. Come on now, don't make it sappy." Nat laughed, grabbing hold of Y/n's hand and tugging her along. Y/n couldn't help but let out an airy laugh.Â
"It's just- I...I wanna say thank you, Nat. Before it's too late."Â
"For what?" She asked, turning to face Y/n once more. Y/n choked on her words, staring instead at Nat's hand over her own, an unknowing reassurance.Â
"Thank you for forcing me to be honest. Not just with you and Steve but with myself." Y/n sighed, her heart aching. "I'm just- I'm sorry it took losing you for me to realize it. That I couldn't live with the guilt of lying."Â
Nat remained silent, understanding better than anyone the kind of weight that came with lies. Even more so the weight that came with guilt.Â
"It's okay. Trust me I probably have a few secrets of my own that I died with." Nat lifted her hands to hold Y/n's shoulders. "Please, don't feel guilty, that's worse than the lies."Â There was a different air to Nat, Y/n could feel. She was at peace, a kind of peace Natasha had never felt her whole life.
"They miss you too, y'know. All of them." Y/n blurted suddenly, wincing when the words escaped without her consent. She wasn't sure they were what Nat wanted to hear but Y/n needed her to know. To know that they all loved and missed her and that while her sacrifice was bittersweet, they were grateful to her.Â
"Yeah. I know." Nat assured, her eyes softening and her lips piercing in that smile Y/n had grown to love her for. "Now, really. You know Tony isn't exactly known for being patient."Â
"Tony-?"Â
"Hey, I'm plenty patient!" A familiar voice confirmed her unspoken question.Â
They both turned, surprised to see Tony standing nearby. He was upon a small island of sorts, one she could've sworn wasn't there a moment ago. "What took you guys so long?"Â
â˘â˘â˘
"I'm glad to see you're still alive." Tony jested. "You really scared me when you grabbed me. I thought you were gonna die too."Â
Y/n shook her head, looking down at her chest. "Well, I don't know if you could really say 'alive'." She tugged her shirt, revealing the scar on her chest. "I've got enough heart failure to stun several doctors."Â
"Well, hearts can handle more than you think. I'm sure you'll be fine." Tony waved a hand dismissively, smiling at her as they walked side by side.Â
"Where are we going?" Y/n asked suddenly, staring out into the horizon. It was empty, no end in sight like it had been for their entire walk.Â
Nat had departed from them a while back, claiming she had her own business to get back to. Honestly, Y/n was certain she just couldn't bear another goodbye.Â
"The way out. Well, your way out." Tony answered. "You do want to get out of here, right?"Â
Y/n nodded, continuing to follow Tony as they made their unknown journey. She wished to just stay in silence, to avoid the guilt she still held for surviving when Tony didn't. Why did she get to live when he'd miss raising his daughter? Why did she survive when he could probably do a better job at fixing the world than she ever could? Why did he leave her in charge of RESTORE?
"Why'd you do it?" She stopped abruptly, making the water below her ripple. Â
Tony stopped too, turning to look at her as she stared at the ground, unable to meet his eye. "Why'd I die? I don't think I had much of a choice."Â
"That's not what I meant."Â
Tony nodded slowly, a long sigh drawing past his lips. "Why'd I leave RESTORE to you?" He asked.Â
She nodded, "It doesn't make any sense. I know why but I just don't understand. I'm not capable of this." She frowned, worry creasing her brow. It was too much responsibility and she wasn't worthy enough to carry it.Â
"I wanna say I chose you because of how much you're like me. I won't deny it, you're a younger me, although I'll admit you're more mature and competent than I was at your age." Tony rubbed his neck, his own guilt keeping him from meeting her gaze.Â
"I wanna tell you I picked you because you're the only person I can trust to run the company like I would but I never even ran Stark Industries. Pepper would be just as capable as you." He continued. Â
He knew she deserved the truth. Knew she needed it before she could decide whether she would carry the weight of the world, though he knew he didn't leave her much of a choice. The least he could do was expose the real reason he'd picked her.Â
"I'm selfish. That's why I picked you. I don't want to put my family in the position I'm putting you in." Tony professed. The words came so difficult to him and it felt so out of place to hear him say them.Â
"The world is going to be angry and resentful for what happened. And unfortunately being the face of a company that declares it will help fix everything will leave a lot of those people mad at you." Tony explained. "Hell, you'll probably become a target and I left that for you to deal with."Â
His hand came to rub his forehead.Â
Remorse wasn't something Tony felt often. At least the old Tony hadn't. He'd first felt it the day he chose to be Iron Man, his remorse for building weapons that were killing people all over the world being the very thing that made him Iron Man.
But lately he'd felt it a lot. When he lost Peter. When he died, leaving Pepper and Morgan. When he left behind an unbelievable burden to Y/n. He did a lot in his life that he regretted. And it was those choices that left him where he was. Â
Y/n listened, unsure what to make of his words. She wanted to be angry and had every right to. But she couldn't.Â
As she stared at him, she knew he had exhausted every option he had mere hours before his death. He placed all his trust in her to take care of the world his family still lived in and it made it impossible to be resentful.Â
But it didn't make the weight on her chest any lighter.Â
"The world used to see me as the enemy or some asshole who really didn't care until it counted." Tony looked away, rubbing his nose as he planned his next words carefully.Â
"I think they still need that. They need someone to demonize but someone they can still fall on when the going gets hard. And I'm sorry you have to be that person."Â
It was the first time she'd ever heard him apologize. And even though she hadn't known him long, the phrase still left her stunned, knowing the impact those words made.Â
"Tony, I-" She opened her mouth to speak, to try and ease some of the guilt he expressed for having done what he did to her. But a sudden force pushed down on her chest, pulling the air from her lungs and making her collapse into the water with a gasp.Â
Desperately she looked up at Tony, his stoic expression telling her that her words had not made it through. She began to sink, falling under the surface of the water, suffocating any hope of saying more.Â
"I'm sorry I picked you."Â
â˘â˘â˘
Y/n sat up with a start, cold sweat flushing her skin and ragged gasps racking through her shoulders. Instantly her head fell into her hands, trying to catch her breath as she processed what she'd just heard.Â
Tony's words lingered in her head, echoing like a taunt.Â
It wasn't fair. He knew that and he was sorry.Â
She had no right to object. It was his final wish and she knew better than anyone that the only person in this world that could take over his mantle was her. And that meant taking up the parts of it that scared Tony, the parts that made him hated and loved.Â
Y/n swallowed dryly, looking around her room. The room was enveloped in a pale glow, dawn soon to fall over the cold city. It was sometime in the early morning, earlier than she would've cared to wake up. Her body still ached and her mind was foggy, still trying to pull herself from the dream.Â
That's when she heard it.Â
Faint little droplets against her window. It was rare that it rained in October and she took a couple seconds to confirm that it was indeed raining. She shook her head, astonished and a little glad. The rain had a way of soothing her and right now that was all she needed.Â
With a sigh she tugged away her blankets, turning and facing her bedside table to grab her phone. However, something caught her eye, making her freeze.Â
Y/n,Â
Sorry for disappearing like this. Just need a bit of time to think. I promise I'll come back.Â
Bucky.Â
She was on her feet in seconds, hastily grabbing her phone and a pair of old high tops nearby before rushing out into the living room. She tugged both shoes on, discarding the fact that she hadn't grabbed any socks or even tied the laces before pulling her trench coat over her shoulders and leaving.Â
She didn't know where Bucky might've gone or even if he wanted to be found but she couldn't just stay home and wait for him to come back. What if something happened to him while he was gone? What if she lost him again?Â
No. That wouldn't happen. She'd find him and bring him back.Â
â˘â˘â˘
She searched a little less than an hour for him, finding him fairly easily in the first place she'd thought to check. By then the sun rose and a weak light shined down through the rain clouds, basking the city in a muddy blue.Â
He was sitting on the steps leading up to the Public Library, facing away from her with one hand tangled in his hair. Relief washed over her upon seeing that he hadn't truly gone far and she was able to slow her walk just enough to walk up and across the steps toward him.Â
He didn't seem to notice her presence until she was walking back down the steps coming to stand on the same step.Â
"Hey you." Her voice was tender as it reached his ears, making him look up at her.Â
She still wore her pajamas, a simple pair of shorts and a large t-shirt. Goosebumps trailed her exposed legs but she didn't seem to care as she sat down to his left.Â
Though the rain had stopped with the rising of the sun, they were both still damp, the bitter winds making it even colder on those slab steps.Â
"How'd you find me?" He asked. He was glad she did but he didn't feel as though he had really figured out anything he wanted to. In fact, he wasn't sure what he even needed to figure out. Maybe himself? Their relationship? What to do next? All of it was blurred and it made it hard for him to be close to her.Â
"I don't know, really." She shrugged with a soft smile. "I guess you can say it's a soulmate thing."Â
Bucky felt his heart involuntarily leap at the explanation.Â
Soulmates.Â
Hearing her say it made it much more real to him. And as much as he wanted to distance himself and make sure he was the best man he could be for her, he just couldn't stay away. And neither could she.Â
"You really worried me. You don't have a phone, I wouldn't know if something happened." She sighed, her voice sounding strained. "But if you need more time to think, I can go. Just keep this with you." She offered gently, holding out her phone for him.Â
Bucky stared at it a moment before ultimately shaking his head. He half expected her to be angry or annoyed that he left. Or at least hurt. But she wasn't. Her understanding nature only made him even guiltier and he wondered if trying to sort himself out was doing more harm than good.  Â
"I don't know. So much has changed, I haven't actually been in New York for at least a few decades." He replied. He hadn't seen too much of the city that morning but it was enough. Enough to know he no longer belonged. Â
"Are you overwhelmed?" She asked, her hand coming to reach for his arm. She wanted to be compassionate, to give him a small bit of assurance even if she only held his forearm.Â
But the reflected light from the dark metal of his arm seemed to pull her to her senses. She froze, staring at it as her throat grew tight. Bucky didn't seem to notice her panic and she quickly retracted her hand, cursing herself for letting her past fears resurface.Â
He was her soulmate, she knew that now. He wouldn't hurt her and she believed those words with all her heart. In the short time she'd known him, she quickly understood why Steve had so easily set him apart from the Winter Soldier.Â
But the fear that the Soldier had over her was still strong. Still lingered in the back of her subconscious. She felt horrible for harboring it and hoped maybe with Bucky over time she wouldn't even remember the Winter Soldier. Â
"No, I guess not." Bucky answered. He wasn't overwhelmed, over the years he had grown used to processing a whole lot at once. He just didn't know if there was a place in this new world for him anymore. Â
"I was just- I was thinking what I'm supposed to do now." Bucky sighed. "All my life I've been waiting. Waiting for the next fight and waiting for you. And now I have you in my life and there's not another battle in sight. I guess, I just don't know what to do."Â
Y/n was quiet, watching as he leaned his head into his hands rubbing his face as if the thought physically exhausted him. Maybe it did.Â
"It's that the best part? Now you get to do anything you want." She tried to soothe his agonizing thoughts. It wasn't an easy thing to think about: considering what to do with one's life. Especially when you've spent so much of it already.Â
"I wish I knew what."Â
They sat wordlessly as life bustled around them.Â
She couldn't imagine what it was like, living an entire lifetime one way and then being expected to build a new one. Even if he said he was fine, she could tell it was overwhelming, even a bit depressing.Â
"I guess, I just was content with fighting. I thought that every time I fought, I made the world a little bit better but it's not." He realized, his gaze falling.Â
Y/n couldn't argue with his doubt.Â
Steve had confessed the same thing many times before. It was hard, doing something you believed in. Harder still when there were no clear changes in the world afterwards.Â
Even Y/n had felt it. Just looking around her it was easy to see that what they had nearly died doing days prior hadn't helped everyone. People on the streets, numbly trying to continue their lives unaffected by the return of half the population. Or the ones struggling because their loved ones didn't survive the journey back.Â
But she knew there were still a lot of people in their homes right now, joyously reunited and cherishing their second chance with their families. Even if she couldn't see it, there were people whose lives were changed for the better. And that was enough for her.
But maybe not enough for Bucky. Â
"Can I show you something?"
â˘â˘â˘
They walked silently side by side through the unusually busy streets. Y/n couldn't remember the last time it was so crowded and in her panic to find Bucky she hadn't realized how suffocating it felt. Unconsciously, she walked a little closer to Bucky, still trying not to lose him along the congested sidewalks.Â
Bucky didn't mind, in fact he was beginning to realize having her near was becoming his favorite feeling in the world.Â
He wasn't exactly a physical person. Before the war he didn't have any particular feelings toward girls holding his hands or touching a girl's waist while dancing. And during his time at HYDRA he hated more than anything when people touched him, hated being touched without his say.Â
But all that seemed to flood away with her. He wanted her to reach out, hold his hand and close the distance. Was this what having a soulmate was like? This burning desire to be close? He could hardly endure it.Â
While he appreciated her ability to respect his boundaries, he truly believed he didn't have any to set before her. He wished he wasn't such a coward and could make a move on his own. There was once a time in his life when he was charming and spontaneous, right?Â
"Bucky? You alright?" Y/n's voice cut into his thoughts.Â
He must've been making that face, the one Sam said he makes. "Yeah." He mumbled, consciously trying to change his expression. Was a smile alright? Or maybe if he just relaxed his brow?Â
He didn't have time to test it out as someone came walking with purpose up the middle of the sidewalk. His head was downcast at his phone, completely oblivious as he came marching right up to Y/n.Â
Y/n noticed the man seconds later but Bucky acted faster, slipping his right hand around her waist and pulling her into him in an effort to avoid the man. "Hey, watch it, would ya?" Bucky called, snapping the man from his daze.Â
The man seemed a tad annoyed at first, looking up from his phone but upon laying eyes on Bucky's face that hadn't yet changed from his scowl, he quickly dropped any unkind words he might've planned.Â
Y/n watched the interaction, her breaths halted as she hyper fixated on Bucky's hand. It was obscured by the coat she wore but she could feel every flex of his fingers each time they tightened around her.Â
The action brought her a bit of relief. Walking side by side in such a crowded space while trying not to bump shoulders with him stressed her out more than the crowd itself.Â
"Sorry, pal." The man practically threw his apology into Bucky's hands before making a break for it.Â
Y/n offered an airy laugh, astonished at how quickly the man had disappeared. She then turned to Bucky, finding he still had that look on his face, his eyes following the direction the man went.Â
Maybe it was paranoia or maybe he truly held a grudge against that oblivious man but either way Y/n didn't think it was worth their time. "That's quite the effect you have on people." She spoke, trying to recapture his attention.Â
Bucky nodded, his eyes trailing back to her. His hand was still settled on her waist and he wondered if maybe he didn't acknowledge it, the awkwardness would fade? However, the unlikeliness of that happening made him retreat, beginning to walk again as he tried to walk off the shame of once again being a coward.Â
"Well, people take one look at me and see a mean guy." He replied. Whether it was his past, his menacing bulk or maybe even just the way he behaved, people did well to avoid him.Â
"And are you?" Y/n asked, catching up to him despite the long strides he took. "A mean guy?"Â
Bucky slowed down at this, giving it a moment to process. Of course, he wanted to say 'no'. He'd never wanted to be a bad person, quite the opposite. All his life he tried to do what he thought was the right thing, even if as the years went on it became cloudy. But now that he thought about it, did he ever have a choice?Â
"I'm not sure." Bucky confessed, allowing himself to spare a glance down at Y/n.Â
"That's okay." Y/n smiled, slipping her hand into his. His face flushed at the action, his fingers closing around her cold ones. "Let me know when you find out."Â
â˘â˘â˘
When they arrived, Bucky could only blink, left speechless by all the tall marble slabs that were scattered across the site. Each one he could see had countless names, four words repeated across the tops of all of them.Â
"This is the Wall of the Vanished. There's one of these memorials in every major city around the world." Y/n explained, climbing the stairs to look closer at one of the slabs.Â
Bucky lingered at the bottom of the steps, unsure if he wanted to look closer. So many names and he was one of them up until a few days before.Â
He wondered how the world had handled that kind of devastation. How Y/n had handled it.Â
"There's thousands of names here of people who disappeared that day five years ago." She continued, her finger reaching out to trace one of the names in front of her. "And this site alone used to be visited by hundreds of people daily."Â
Her words stilled him. Losing half the world had been shattering like he had imagined. But that was all he could do to understand: imagine. He wasn't here to experience the aftermath. But looking at all the names displayed before him, the weight of their disappearance began to hit him.Â
"I used to come here a lot when it was first built." Y/n admitted. "Wondered if somewhere on these walls was my soulmate's name; your name." She told him.Â
He could feel the pain in her words, perhaps a pain that only he would understand. The sorrowful experience of loving and mourning all at once.Â
"Bucky, you may think you haven't done enough to change the world, to save it. But you've done more than anyone could've ever asked you to. Hell, you already saved my world just by coming back." Y/n's tone was firm as if engraving her confession into his mind. She wanted him to remember it, to never feel like any of his efforts were pointless.
Because to her they meant the world.Â
"And you don't have to decide right now what you want to do. I won't expect you to adapt right away and if you wanna leave to think again, do it. Just don't disappear, okay?" She pleaded, smiling softly.Â
Bucky was in awe of her, the way she stood so confidently and told him the exact words he needed so desperately to hear.Â
He studied her gaze, making eye contact with her for the first time without immediately crumbling under her gaze. He just watched, memorizing the way her pupils dilated and the beginning of tears that shined along her lash line. Watched the way her eyes held his stare, giving him no signs of backing away or looking down.Â
She swore those words to him and he believed them.Â
"Oh jeez." Y/n chuckled softly, her hands coming to her face. "I'm really gonna cry on top of already being a hot mess." Rubbing her eyes to avoid the tears, she looked back at him, noticing the tender gaze he gave her.Â
"If you're a mess what's that make me?" Bucky joked, stepping forward instantly to comfort her. She smiled away his concern, mocking herself for becoming so emotional.Â
"The cherry on top." She answered, snarkily. Bucky couldn't help the small smile on his face at her response.  Â
"You hungry? I'm starving and pizza sounds really good." Y/n sighed, watching as he held out his hand for her to help her down the steps.
"It's seven in the morning." He commented, his fingers grasping hers so gently as they walked together. Y/n shook her head, letting out a joyful laugh.Â
"What are you, the pizza police?"Â
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Part seventeen
Hey guys! Keep in mind earlier chapters are being revised so if you're confused please read back or feel free to contact me!!
I'm super excited for the next chapter of 'In another life' ! I just finished rereading all the previous chapters!
Thank you so much! I'm currently in the process of editing chapter sixteen and it'll be published later today! Admittedly, I'm still in the process of revising previous chapters so please be patient and be sure to ask questions about the changes to the chapters! I hope you continue to enjoy the book!
So lately I've been doing major redrafting for earlier chapters and have fixed a few of the plot mistakes but I'm still working at it. I'm hoping that once I'm finished and have a better understand of the direction of the book I'll be able to write new chapters and continue this story.
Also for some of you asking if I'll be following the plot of the Falcon and Winter Soldier, unfortunately I will not be. Once I watched it I realized a lot of the scenes I had drafted wouldn't work. Before the show had come out, I had to plan a plot that would work and still fit the marvel norm so I think I'll stick with that one since I already have so much of it planned. Of course some things will be mentioned form the show but the plot will be generally different.
A new chapter will be out this Friday so hopefully you'll enjoy it!
Let me know if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist and I hope you enjoy the future chapters.
Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.
But the pain in their lives were connected.
Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.
And Bucky never got to meet her.
When Y/n awoke it was dark. Impossibly so.
She didn't know what time it was and she tried to rationalize the darkness as an outcome of it being so late but the darkness didn't feel right. Especially since she had left a small light on in the living room in case Bucky needed to find the bathroom or get a glass of water. Had the light turned off somehow?Â
Then the cold hit her. It was like she'd left a window open. The nights were getting colder and leaving the window open would freeze the entire apartment. But she distinctly remembered making sure all the windows were closed.
In a daze, she moved to sit up but that was when she noticed something. She wasn't lying in her bed. The ground below her was frozen to the touch and rough like she was lying outside.Â
Her heart sank.Â
Where was she?Â
How did she get outside?
Maybe she'd been sleepwalking? She'd never done it before but maybe due to recent events, her mind was acting out in strange ways to cope? Yet as she moved to find her way back inside through the dark, she hit a surface with the same feeling.Â
Rough and cold. Like dirt.Â
She was surrounded by it. At this point she became more panicked, her breathing growing ragged and her heart started racing painfully. Frantically she reached out for the surface before her, finding that it crumbled in her hands.Â
It hit her all at once. She was underground.Â
She'd been buried alive.Â
Terror filled tears welled in her eyes as she desperately beat at the dirt above her, trying to dig her way out of the hole she'd been put into. With each hit the dirt crumbled, weakening enough to give way as it tumbled down upon her. She cried out, covering her face in an attempt to spare herself from the mountain of dirt she probably just dropped on herself but the great weight she feared would crush her never came.Â
The scent of smoke came to her first, dragging her horrified gaze back to the space she'd dug open. There was a hole now, one just large enough for her to peer out of. The sky above was a dull blue, clouds of dust preventing the sunlight she'd been hoping for to shine down. Â
In a panicked haste, she tore at the hole opening it enough for her to crawl out. It was a struggle but she managed to drag herself out onto the ground, laying beside the hole as she tried to steady her breathing.Â
The sky was filled with smoke and ash, as if some disaster had just struck. That's when she realized. The dirt below her, it was covered with debris and chaos. She was back at the battle. The battle she'd lost everything to.Â
There was a weight on her chest, one that seemed to grow with each breath she took. But the weight was quickly forgotten as her gaze drifted to the hole once more. There, displayed next to it, was a helmet.Â
Tony's helmet.Â
She wasn't just buried in a hole. It was a grave. Tony's grave.Â
She gagged back a scream, scrambling away from the hole as she clambered to her feet. This had to be a dream, some sick nightmare her guilty conscience had concocted to torture her.Â
Her tears fell freely now as she staggered back several feet, wanting to put as much distance between her and the grave.Â
She knew it was just her subconscious. Her subconscious was projecting her guilt by putting her into Tony's grave. When she said she wanted to take Tony's place, she had meant it but seeing it herself- it petrified her.Â
She just needed to wake up. Just wake up.Â
Suddenly her unsteady steps stopped as her back hit a wall making her halt. Yet as she whipped around, she realized it wasn't a wall or any type of surface to trap her once more.Â
Instead there stood Bucky, a soft comforting smile on his face. But it wasn't the Bucky she remembered. His hair was much shorter, tucked neatly under his green sergeant hat. He appeared younger, smaller. Yet these things went almost unnoticed as she caught his gaze. His eyes were the ones she'd always known. The ones she'd envisioned whenever she thought of her soulmate. They were bright and full of life. The welcoming blue told her he was mischievous yet kind, always ready to playfully tease someone in that loving way. They were so full of wonder and hope.Â
They were the eyes that sadly Bucky didn't have anymore. This wasn't her Bucky.Â
Yet her hysterical mind couldn't see that. All she saw was Bucky and she threw herself into his arms, sobbing into his chest. His arms came around her without hesitation, holding her like it would be the last time he could.Â
"Shh, doll. It's alright. You're alright." He soothed, running his hand along her hair. She could feel the warmth of his hands as they held her, the tenderness one of them no longer possessed now resting on the nape of her neck. She could feel the love he'd always held for her. "You're safe."Â
His words put her at ease and she felt safe in his arms. He wouldn't let anything hurt her.Â
But as soon as she let her guard down the warmth faded. Her blood ran cold as a familiar sound echoed in her ears. A sound she could never forget. The whirring groan in his arm when it shifted to attack. She didn't even have time to speak before his hand tightened in her hair, harshly yanking her back and slamming her into a wall.Â
She collapsed onto concrete, her already torn knees staining the sidewalk with blood. She recognized this. It was all too painfully familiar.Â
She was back on that street. The day it all happened. The day her life as she knew it ended.Â
Bucky didn't hesitate to grab her throat, dragging her back up against the wall she'd nearly died against all those years ago. She felt like she was 15 all over again, panicked and terrified. She fought and begged and cried for Bucky to let her go.Â
Not again. Please, not again.Â
She couldn't bare to stare at those eyes again. The eyes that haunted her. They were just as lifeless as she remembered. They held no mercy or remorse. The Soldier followed orders and didn't care about the lives that got in the way.Â
She continued to plead, her eyes closing as she ran out of air. But she continued to go against all odds and beg for her Bucky.Â
The one that was neither innocent nor guilty. The one that spent years as a weapon and now dealt with the guilt of all the lives that his handlers used him to end. The man that was trying to be better. The man that still remembered what he had done. The man who escaped.Â
"Y/n?" His voice came to her like a call from a savior. The pressure on her throat disappeared and her eyes opened as she fell to her knees once more. This time she wasn't met with concrete, instead a dirt road. The very one she'd met Bucky on.Â
She quickly looked around, finding that the rest of the scene that had haunted her dreams for years was also gone, replaced with a road that would forever be the place she first held her soulmate. The first time she'd cried in his arms and made silent promises to him. Their meeting place.Â
"Oh, God." Bucky mumbled, the remorse he'd been lacking all those years rolling off his words in waves. Â
Y/n's gaze snapped back up to her attacker only to find him gone. The Winter Soldier was gone. And there was Bucky. Staring horrified at what he had done.
She opened her mouth to tell him it was alright. To tell him she forgave him for all he'd done and everything he would do. He was her soulmate and there wasn't anything he could do to change how she felt. But all that escaped was a gasp. Something had grabbed hold of her, ripping her back against the ground. She screamed as she was tugged across the rough earth, away from him.Â
"Bucky!" She cried but it was no use. He watched, unable to move to help as she was dragged back toward the grave by what felt like hands that continued to grip her tighter. She frantically grasped at the dirt, dread filling her chest when she was unable to grab onto anything.Â
Without warning she was falling down the hole, slamming against the bottom and knocking the already limited air from her lungs. She struggled to recover and for a moment she debated just staying in the hole.Â
Was she going to be stuck here in this nightmarish world forever? Would she constantly be tormented by her guilt and trauma? Forever being attacked by the man her soulmate was created to be. The man they both hoped to forget.Â
Hopeless sobs racked her body as she trembled in the grave. Her hand pathetically came to wipe her tears but only ended up over her mouth as her tears became more powerful and her cries grew louder.Â
She couldn't do this. Couldn't stand this nightmare anymore.Â
The familiar sound of dirt shifting above her made her muffle her cries slightly. Was something else here to attack her? The Winter Soldier? Or maybe something darker? Something worse.Â
"Y/n?"Â
Her sobs fell completely silent when her name was spoken. It wasn't the fact that whoever was up there knew her name. No, it was how easily she recognized the voice.Â
"Nat?"Â
Like a vision, Natasha peered down into the hole, her smile visible even through the darkness that surrounded them. How was this possible? "Let's get you out of there."Â
Her hand came down and Y/n took it instantly. This couldn't be real. This was just her memories of Nat resurfacing as a way to comfort her fragile mind.Â
Nat's hold was firm, tugging Y/n up out of the hole with ease and grace. Y/n helped to lift herself, finding a new hope with Nat's presence. If Nat was here in this place with her then maybe things weren't so bad.Â
Suddenly as she climbed out of the hole, a wave of water hit her, encasing her in an underwater trap. Yet unlike when she awoke, Nat was there to pull her up, making her break the surface of the water with a gasp.Â
"Sorry, I should've warned you," Nat chuckled, pulling Y/n to her feet. "This place is strange."Â
Nat was right. There was an orange sky with clouds that glowed with the same intense color. And as odd as that was, it wasn't quite as strange as the infinite lake that seemed to make up the ground. They were standing on it, the water.Â
Was she dead?Â
Was that why Nat was here? Not simply from her subconscious but actually here?Â
"Where are we?" Y/n asked, looking around at this other world. Surely she was dead.Â
"The soul stone. At least that's what that Gamora girl said." Nat explained. She watched Y/n with a careful gaze, taking notice of how battered she appeared. She definitely hadn't expected to look in better shape than Y/n especially considering the fact that she was dead.Â
Y/n looked exhausted. Her hair was unkempt and she looked as if she had just run 30 miles with her sweaty brow and flushed face. It wasn't just her physical appearance that worried Natasha. Y/n's eyes remained unfocused and her hands quivered slightly. And there was a faint purple scar along her wrist and forearm, one unlike anything Nat had seen.Â
"Am I dead?" Y/n questioned, hesitant for an answer. She feared what would happen if she was dead. Would Pepper have to carry out Tony's wishes alone? Would something happen to Peter if she didn't watch out for him? Would Bucky move on without her?Â
"No. I don't think so anyways. You feel- I don't know almost at a distance. You're not completely here like I am." Nat told her, trying to ease the worry that creased Y/n's brow.Â
"What does that mean?"Â
"I can't explain it." Nat sighed. "You just have to trust me."Â
Y/n nodded softly. She trusted Nat. More than anyone. But she didn't trust herself. Especially not to return to her life. "How do I get back?"Â
"You will in time. But first there's someone for you to see."Â
â˘â˘â˘
Bucky couldn't sleep.Â
How could he? He was just a short distance from his soulmate and yet it felt as if she wasn't there at all.Â
His Ma described meeting a soulmate as a tug and a hitch. The tug pulled a person to their soulmate and the hitch was that click that happened between them. That feeling that told them they were perfect for one another.Â
But Bucky hadn't felt it yet. And that killed him.Â
He already knew he cared for Y/n, much more than he had cared for anyone even though she was just a stranger to him. But it didn't feel right. The way he felt for her didn't feel natural yet, didn't feel justified.Â
He longed to be the person he once was. The easy going and lovable man he knew himself to have been. The kind of man that made a woman feel at ease, the kind of man that could dance all night with a girl and win her heart.Â
Oh, how badly he wished to win Y/n's heart. How badly he wanted to give his in return.Â
But he wasn't that man anymore. And it wasn't going to be that easy.
Why did everything in his life have to be hard? He was beginning to believe nothing would ever be peaceful for him and it only crushed his hopes of clicking with Y/n.Â
After everything he'd done, he wondered if this was punishment.Â
Or worse, what if Y/n wasn't clicking with him because she knew what he'd done? The thought made him sick.Â
What if she was scared of him?Â
Bucky groaned, standing up from the bed. It was dark outside but the lights from the city were enough to see his way through the room. He just wanted to move. To go for a walk or a run. Anything to get his mind off his painfully obvious disconnect with his soulmate. Â
Silently he slipped his shoes on, making his way out into the living room to find his coat. Maybe he'd run to Brooklyn? It sounded pitiful running home but he didn't know where else to go.Â
Slipping on his coat, he made his way to the door pausing only a moment. It didn't feel right to just go without leaving a note or saying goodbye. He would've been devastated to find that she'd left during the night and he knew it was wrong to do that to her.
With a sigh, he searched around her apartment for a pen and paper, eventually finding some in the desk Steve left behind.Â
He wrote a quick note explaining where he'd gone and that he'd eventually be back. He wasn't sure when he would. He needed time to think, to just figure out everything that had happened before trying to connect with her. He couldn't put that responsibility onto her. Couldn't make her bear the weight of loving a man who neither one even knew.Â
He tried to ignore the heaviness in his heart as he entered her room, hoping to set the note on her bedside table where she'd see it. It felt so wrong, leaving her. Was he making a mistake? He shook the feeling off, placing the note next to her lamp.Â
Yet rather than turning away to leave, he paused. He watched her silently, cursing himself for being a creep. Soulmate or not, they were strangers. And yet he couldn't stop.Â
She was his soulmate. His actual soulmate. He had found her after all these years. And he was leaving.Â
He felt stupid.Â
Slowly he crouched next to her admiring the way her hair laid across the pillow or how her hand cradled her face as she slept. He leaned on the bed, inching forward ever so slightly. Her eyes flickered under their lids, some kind of dream playing out before her unconscious mind.Â
She was so beautiful and he wondered if he really deserved someone like her.Â
He knew he didn't have much to offer being a 106 year old man with enough PTSD and survivor's guilt to trouble him for another century. The only thing he could promise was that he would protect her and that he would do without fail. He swore it.Â
He didn't know what he was doing until he was leaning forward. For one tender moment he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his fingers tracing her hairline softly.Â
Abruptly, he pulled away, realizing very suddenly he had gone from a creep to a major nut job. He sighed, harshly rubbing his face to try and whip away his guilt.Â
Then he stood, deciding he'd better go before he couldn't bring himself to anymore. So with one last look to her, he left heading off to somewhere he'd yet to find.
Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.
But the pain in their lives were connected.
Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.
And Bucky never got to meet her.
"It's called Recover and Enable with Stark Technologies: Opportunity, Revival and Excellence. Or uh, RESTORE for short." Tony explained, the hologram capturing what they all knew to be one of his last days. "Damn, now that I say it aloud, it's a bit pretentious but we'll get used to it." He chuckled, still a little proud of his abbreviation.
"It's a resources company really. Offers financial help to families affected by the snap along with structure and aid to businesses, cooperations, hell even the government. They've always had their heads up their asses though." Y/n listened carefully, her heart stinging a bit more than usual. Maybe it was from watching yet another message from her idol and lost friend.
"It comes along with therapy and counseling. Really it's supposed to help piece the world back together. You should feel right at home. It was that aspect that told me you'd be perfect for the job. I'm sure I can help you with the other parts of the job. Or uh, Pepper will. I was never any good at running a business that was always her thing." Tony smiled fondly, the hologram's eyes seeming to stare straight into Pepper's.
Y/n could tell Pepper was fighting tears. It only made her own guilt grow.
Why did Tony have to die? It wasn't a fair question. Not to her. She should've done more, should've given her life to let him live the rest of his. To see his daughter grow up. To let Pepper finally have peace.
But what if she had? Would Bucky had even known she was his soulmate? Would he have found her body in the rumble, her shattered arm and scarred skin barely visible from the damage of the stones she should've been destroyed by. Would he have had to find out his soulmate had lost the war from her stopped countdown? Would he have had to piece together how close they were to meeting? Would he recover from that?
"We need to start soon," Pepper spoke suddenly, hastily wiping her face as she stood. Y/n watched wide eyed and silent as Pepper paced over to a man she'd learned to be Happy, quietly requesting he watch Morgan. Y/n stood, quickly moving to follow the woman.
She understood what Pepper was doing. She was avoiding the pain, putting all her effort and focus into anything but the death of her husband. Hundreds of people did it after the first snap and she couldn't say she blamed them. But it was different this time. There was no way she could've prevented the first snap, no way she could've saved all of those lives that were now returned.
But the last snap was within arms reach of her. She was capable of stopping it, sparing the last victim of the snap. But she failed.
Maybe Pepper had the right idea. This guilt was overwhelming.
"Tony set up some meetings with other corporations for Monday. I'd like you to be there with me." Pepper told her, her heels rhythmically clicking down the steps as Y/n followed carefully.
"Monday? Doesn't this seem a little rushed? I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing. Shouldn't I have some kind of lessons?" Y/n objected, her brow creasing warily.
"You'll learn through experience." Pepper replied. It was too much, too overwhelming. Y/n had just lost two friends, another left her and she'd met her soulmate. Now they wanted her to run a company that the world would eventually depend on?
How would she even begin?
In an effort to take a breath, she looked away from Pepper, her eyes trailing to the lake. It was peaceful, much more peaceful than Y/n had felt in days-years if she was being honest.
She hoped that after everything that had happened, she could just go back to being normal or as normal as someone like her could be. She didn't care about the hero's life and she didn't want to be Iron Star for any longer than she had to. But as she looked around at the others, she realized that was becoming less and less of a possibility. They looked at her as if she were next.
They seemed to know she was going to be one of them just by looking at her. But why? Because Tony took a chance on her? Because they were so similar? Or was it something else, something she hadn't seen yet?
Suddenly the calm ripples in the water were disturbed with a large splash, sending the area into chaos. A rock had broken the surface of the lake, sinking in the next second. It happened so quick and so subtly that she wasn't sure it'd even happened. The water calmed once more and the rock was lost to the bottom of the lake.
Once finding the source of the rock, her breath hitched.
He was there at the lakeside, pacing with one hand in his pocket while the other rubbed his neck. His head was downcast and he looked stressed, just as stressed as she was. That's when she realized.
He'd just met his soulmate too. After what she guessed to be almost 90 years. Nearly a century without his soulmate. He was just as nervous and overwhelmed. But it didn't mean he wasn't dying to talk to her. She could feel it, his eagerness. The way his heart ached to speak to her again even if only a few words. She wondered if he could feel her own longing.
"I need to do something. I'll be right back." Y/n excused herself, trying to be as polite as she could. She knew Pepper wanted to carry out her husband's last wish as soon as possible but they both knew he wouldn't have meant it like this. Didn't mean to leave them alone to handle it.
Pepper nodded, releasing a sigh. Everything was beginning to weigh down on her and she knew forcing more onto her shoulders wasn't gonna work this time. "Just call me tomorrow, okay?"
"I will." Y/n assured, looking back to Bucky. Pepper's expression had softened a bit following Y/n's gaze.
She remembered the first time she'd met Tony. At first he was adamant about their relationship, refusing to let her forget they were soulmates. But after what happened in Afghanistan he stopped his teasing. He stopped addressing it altogether. The trauma was too much.
Tony wasn't the same and things changed. But she liked to think it was for the better. He was a better man but he stopped seeing himself as worthy of a soulmate. He forgot what soulmates were for and it crushed Pepper.
She refused to let Y/n feel the same.
"Just meet me at Stark Industries on Monday. Have this time with him." Pepper told Y/n, motioning her head toward Bucky.
Y/n nodded softly, working up the courage to make her way to him. "Thank you."
â˘â˘â˘
"What did that poor rock do to you?" Bucky froze at her question, whipping around to face her. She offered a soft smile, trying to break the awkwardness before it became too strong.
Bucky let out an airy laugh, looking back at the lake where he'd just thrown the rock. "Looked at me funny." He replied jokingly, turning back to her. She moved carefully toward him, coming to stand at his side a couple feet away.
He wished she would stand closer, close enough for him to put his arm around her. Close enough for him to hold her tight and never let her go. But he'd respect the distance. He'd give her space.
There was a buzz in the air as she stood there next to him, as if everything was falling into place. It felt like the atmosphere had shifted, that the stars had aligned. After all these years without her, he finally had her.
And all he could muster was, 'looked at me funny'?
"Must've been some look." Y/n replied with an amused smirk.
The silence was overwhelming but welcomed. Of course both wanted to fill it with anything and everything they could say but neither were ready for that. They each had their secrets, their pasts. They were at a conflicting crossroads.
"It's strange. I've waited my whole life to tell you everything but now I don't have anything to say." Y/n let out a strained laugh, looking down at her sling. She wanted so badly to see her countdown, to finally confirm to herself that she had him and that he wasn't going anywhere. But her countdown couldn't promise that. Only fate could keep him at her side and so far fate hadn't been kind.
"Me too." Bucky mumbled, cringing at how awkward he believed to be making things.
'Say something.' His mind cursed at him. 'Say anything.'
"You're really beautiful." He spoke suddenly, his face flushing at how stupid he sounded. He meant it of course. She was stunning despite the cuts and bruises along her features. Gorgeous even with the dirt and dried blood that traced her hairline. Enchanting regardless of the sling that obstructed her movement. She was beautiful.
But saying it aloud after only speaking a few words to one another made him feel silly. So long ago he'd call complete strangers beautiful without a second thought. But was that right with his soulmate? Were there certain things he should do? A way to act?
All his worries faded away with her smile, such a glorious thing he couldn't wait to see everyday for the rest of his life. If she would have him.
"Thank you, Bucky." His name slipped off her lips so naturally it was as if she'd been saying it all her life. And maybe she had. Fate worked in mysterious ways and his mother was a firm believer that soulmates always found one another. In this life or another. He'd never believed it but now he had. They'd found each other, despite time and despite space. They were bound to one another and he could feel that Y/n knew it too.
"I have a place in the city. It's where I was heading before...you know. Not that meeting you was an inconvenience, I honestly never thought I would. Not that I didn't want to, I dreamt of it...-I'm rambling now." She sighed. How had she managed to make it even more awkward?
"It's okay." Bucky assured, unable to stop his smile from growing.
"What I was trying to say is I'd like you to stay with me, if you want. It might be a little bit more comfortable than whatever lodging Fury is getting for you all. I have a spare room." She offered, her heart heavy with the idea of Steve being gone. He'd chosen the life he wanted. Unfortunately she wasn't a part of it.
"I'd like that." Bucky nodded, his heart swelling at the suggestion. Not only was it one of the few kind acts he'd experienced since escaping HYDRA, it was also an invitation from his soulmate into her life.
He wouldn't squander the opportunity.
"Great." Y/n smiled, releasing the breath she'd been holding upon his answer. A part of her had been scared of rejection. But she guessed things with soulmates were different. They were easier. Maybe it was the assurance that they were the right match or maybe it was just the overall feeling of belonging that came with the other's presence.
Soulmates were easy.
At least she thought.
â˘â˘â˘
When they arrived at Y/n's apartment, she was grateful she had cleaned up before everything that had happened. She'd never brought a man home before, let alone her soulmate and she wasn't sure what to say or do. The only person that she'd even brought to her apartment was Steve and by then their conversation flowed as easily as breathing.
"You have a nice place, very um, modern?" He offered, not knowing what to say himself. It'd been so many years since he'd even talked to a woman and he wasn't even sure he knew how to flirt anymore.
"Thank you." Y/n replied quietly, glancing around the apartment as if trying to see it through his eyes. She remembered Steve mentioning the lack of photos once when he first started to live there. Did Bucky think it was weird?
"Can I get you something to drink? Water, coffee, wine�" She trailed off. Bucky looked at her, taking notice of her own nerves.
"Water is fine." He answered, smiling at her softly in any attempt to soothe her.
It seemed to work as she smiled back at him, turning toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Make yourself comfortable. You can watch TV if you'd like." Y/n called to him, taking a moment after pouring the glass to lean against the counter and sigh, hiding away from the source of her anxiety.
She'd always wanted to meet him. She had wanted to have him in her life from the moment she'd heard about soulmates. But what she never expected was how awkward it would be. She'd always been told that soulmates clicked instantly but they hadn't quite clicked yet. And she could tell Bucky felt it too.
Perhaps it was everything they'd been through? Maybe it'd changed them both enough to where clicking was harder? Or maybe they'd never click.
Her heart dropped at this, sending a surge of pain through her chest. Would she even be able to live with herself if they never clicked? She'd lost everyone, would she lose her soulmate too?
Suddenly a booming voice echoed from the living room, frightening her out of her daze. Quickly grabbing the glass, she dashed into the living room, plucking the remote from the wide eyed Bucky. Hastily, she muted it letting out a panicked sigh as the reporter continued on with his story silently.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't be sorry, really. Trust me that's not the first time I've had to rescue a 100 year old vet from my TV. It just seems to know who to attack." She nervously laughed, setting down the remote. The tense air seemed to relax at that and Bucky found himself chuckling along with her.
The accident, though startling at first, made her feel more at ease. It was something familiar and for the first time since their meeting, there was no awkward feeling between them.
"Here," Y/n handed the glass to him with a shaking hand, trying not to let him see how much had spilled out onto her hand when she rushed into the living room.
Bucky accepted it from her, his fingers lingering on hers for just a moment before retracting.
He could feel her but not like his hand used to. The metal digits no longer felt warmth or pain or tenderness. He could feel when something touched him but all the things that made touch special were stolen along with his real appendage. He wished he'd reached out with his other arm, that he could feel the softness of her skin, the warmth.
"I-I'm not sure how this goes. I rehearsed this a thousand times when I first got my countdown but things are so much more different than I expected. My parents always raised me on the false ideal that we'd meet somewhere cliche like a coffee shop or something." She shook her head, immediately regretting her words the moment they left her mouth.
"I don't really know either. Honestly, I never thought I'd meet you." He sighed, his heart aching with the decades he'd lived believing that he'd die before meeting her. But now she was here and he was ruining it.
Y/n frowned with him, racking her brain for anyway to save their less than perfect first day. "Maybe we should start over." She suggested, putting out her free hand to him.
"Hi. I'm Dr. Y/n L/n." She introduced, deciding there couldn't be harm in starting over. Their meeting was emotional and overwhelming and after all it was just awkward. But Y/n didn't want to remember it that way and neither did Bucky.
As she had hoped, he smiled, putting his own hand into hers and shaking it gently. "Sergeant James Barnes. But everyone calls me Bucky." He replied, his smile growing as she looked at him, her eyes conveying all the warmth she was too scared to admit.
"It's very nice to meet you, Bucky." Y/n smiled, studying the way he looked at her and trying not to let herself blush.
"It's an honor to meet you, Y/n."
â˘â˘â˘
The rest of the evening continued this way, an occasional small bount of awkwardness along with some silence before another conversation arised. It was just like getting to know a stranger and while it wasn't what she had anticipated when she thought of meeting her soulmate, it still made her happier than she had ever been.
"So, I started to climb up the fire escape because I definitely wasn't going to wait outside in the snow storm for Steve to rescue me." Y/n explained matter-of-factly, earning a small chuckle from Bucky.
"Of course." He replied shortly, already picturing the woman before him beginning her journey up the fire escape.
"Turns out Steve was already home but he was in the shower. He got out right as I made it to the window and he nearly threw me several stories because he thought I was a burglar. He was so mad, he called me crazy about a hundred times before finally letting me in." Bucky laughed at her retelling, watching the glimmer in her eyes as she relived it.
"Like he's one to judge. When we were younger he'd lose his key all the time, had to start hiding one under a brick at his ma's apartment." Bucky told her, his heart aching slightly as he thought of the last time he'd had to help Steve. His mother had just passed and Bucky was pleading with Steve to stay with him. But Steve was independent, always had been.
"He wanted to change the locks when he found out I lost my key, which I mean, is a fair request but realistically there are about 3 million apartments in the city and the chances of someone finding this one was impossible. Also when you add Captain America into the mix, the chances of your apartment being robbed are quite slim." She explained. She still hadn't changed the locks now that she thought about it and Steve was gone.
And besides she'd survived before Steve. But it didn't make her miss him any less.
"You can never be too careful." Bucky replied, shrugging softly.
"I suppose." Y/n mumbled, looking down at the coffee table where her feet were resting. It always drove Steve crazy but it never stopped her. Yet now she almost felt compelled to do so. Some way to respect his wishes. "What was he like? Who was Steve before the serum and everything?" She asked, slowly dropping her feet from the table.
The question stunned Bucky, leaving him speechless for a few short moments. Several words popped to his mind to describe Steve but they were all things he knew Y/n would already have witnessed.
"He was selfless and brave. And stupid. So stupid. Never knew when to sit a fight out." Bucky chuckled fondly, though it faded just as fast as it had come. "He fought for me when I was on the run from HYDRA. He lost everything to save me."
"Sounds like Steve." Y/n didn't lift her gaze only offering a weak smile at her beloved friend's description.
Y/n was exhausted, so much more tired than she believed possible but given her physical state it made sense. She yawned, trying to muffle as much of it as she could, her eyes watering at how harsh the yawn had rolled through her.
Bucky hardly noticed, a bount of guilt settling on his heavy heart. Bucky didn't deserve saving. But Steve fought for him anyways. And now he was sitting next to his soulmate, the very soulmate he dared not envision a life with for fear of a broken heart.
"How weird that Steve befriended us both, nearly a century apart. And I thought fate was fucked." Y/n laughed quietly, drawing Bucky out of his thoughts. Another yawn took hold of her and Bucky noticed this time, a soft smile gracing his features as he watched her nose scrunch and her hand pathetically fail to hide the yawn.
"It's been a long day." Bucky said quietly, earning a small nod from her.
"You're right." She mumbled, trying to fight off the sleep that so desperately wanted to claim her. There was still so much she wanted to talk to him about and the few hours they had spent getting to know one another didn't feel like enough. But her body was protesting every second she spent awake.
With a silent sigh, she stood pacing off toward Steve's room to find Bucky some clothes for bed. Bucky rose from the couch to follow, taking notice of how her breathing seemed ragged, almost forced.
It worried him but he didn't say anything. Maybe this was normal? He had no idea. He hadn't thought to ask Steve about her condition and asking her now didn't seem right. So he merely watched her with a silent and concerned gaze.
However once reaching Steve's room, Bucky's attention was stolen. It was clear Steve lived in this room. Whether it was the religiously kept bed, neutral colored clothes hung neatly in the closet or the drawings and pictures strung along his walls, Bucky knew this was where Steve had spent a great deal of time.
The pictures varied in a great deal of things, from NYC buildings drawn from the point of view of the street to beautiful scenes from different cities that Bucky guessed Steve had seen during missions. But one in particular caught his eye, pinned carefully to the wall with a tack.
It was of Y/n from her shoulders up, her head slightly turned down. He found her face was quickly becoming a source of comfort. Just seeing her put him at ease and he'd only met her that day.
The picture gave him that same kind of feeling, the feeling that made his chest soft and his muscles relax. It was a way he had yet to see her, so peaceful and calm.
She was reading a book or maybe a magazine? Her eyes focused on the words but there was a daze behind them as if she were daydreaming. He wondered what she had been thinking about. Wondered why she no longer wore her hair like it was in the portrait. Or maybe she did and he hadn't seen it yet?
There were so many things he'd yet to know and a part of him was furious that he had missed all this time with her. He wanted to know her as well as Steve had, wanted to know everything that made her Y/n. He was furious with fate for stealing that from him.
"Here, these might be comfortable enough for sleepwear. But honestly none of Steve's clothes look very comfortable." Y/n spoke, sending a wary look toward Steve's closet where she'd just been.
"So, Steve lived here?" Bucky asked, under the impression that Steve was more of a frequent guest. Y/n tilted her head with a small nod, looking around at the room.
It had once been her office, the very office she used to hold her sessions in. But once branching out to old cafes, the room was often vacant. Thankfully that was around the time she met Steve and the room quickly found a new purpose.
"Yeah, I mean he still went to the compound sometimes but this was his home. He didn't pay rent but he helped out around the apartment, most of the time." Y/n shrugged, smirking slightly. "He had a thing about dishes." She spoke, raising a brow at Bucky as if he might have some sort of background on the interesting flaw.
"He used to say didn't like his fingers to get wrinkled but I always knew it was because soggy food made him sick." Bucky explained, smiling at the memory.
Never before had he met someone who knew Steve as well as he did. It had always been just them. And while he was gone it was just Y/n and Steve. Now they were desperately trying to piece themselves together. It was strange, finding someone exactly like him, yet so different.
"You know, for a guy who's seen so much violence, I didn't think that soggy food would be his Kryptonite." Y/n remarked, walking over to the bed and sitting on the side.
"Kryptonite?" Bucky asked, the word foreign to him. Was it like Vibranium?
Y/n paused. "Oh um. Superman? From the comics? He was still kind of new around your guy's time. 1938, I believe." She explained.
Bucky nodded softly, vague memories of Steve mentioning it to him resurfacing. "I remember seeing them but I never really read them." Bucky replied, watching as she adjusted her sling.
"Well, Superman's one weakness was Kryptonite. I guess Captain America's weakness is dishes." She chuckled, seemingly unaware of how distraught her condition made him.
A silence fell over them after that, nearly killing them both. It was almost annoying how badly their conversation flowed. The most at ease they'd felt with each other was when they first met. When they were in each other's arms. It took everything she had not to stand up and throw herself into him again.
"Well, I um, I'm going to um-..." Y/n mumbled, trying to dismiss the thought. Bucky nodded softly, shifting the clothes in his hands. A simple pair of sweats and a t-shirt.
"Yeah." He murmured, watching quietly as she stood making her way to the door.
There was a tension between them, the kind that made Bucky's heart clench and his brows furrow. Y/n could feel it too. But neither acted.
"Goodnight, Bucky." Y/n spoke barely above a whisper, the weight of the tension crashing down on her.
"Goodnight." He replied, his eyes trailing her until she disappeared down the hall.
The weight lifted as soon as she was gone but he soon found himself missing it. Why was talking to her so impossibly hard? He tried telling himself that with time things would get easier but time was the only thing he was no longer willing to give up. He needed to try something different.
Needed to reapproach the whole soulmate thing.
Part fifteen
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"Are you alright?" A woman's voice questioned. It was just loud enough for him to hear her yet still holding the tenderness he so desperately needed. "I'm sorry. That was a stupid question. Obviously you're not."Â
Bucky chuckled, a sound the woman couldn't help but feel was foreign to him. It was something in the way his eyes shined when he did so, like watching fireworks for the first time. "It's alright, ma'am."Â
"Please, call me Y/n. I don't think I've ever heard someone call me ma'am before." She giggled, gesturing to the space beside him on the bench. "May I?"Â
He nodded, scooting a couple of inches to make the woman more comfortable. Chivalry had seemed to be something instilled in him even after all these years and for that the woman thanked him, quietly taking a seat next to him.Â
Bucky tended to be alone most days, often secluding himself and while Sam complained that friendships weren't meant to be one-sided, Bucky couldn't shake the habit. He found it easier to think when he was alone. So when he found a blank part of his mind, he would journey off alone to remember.Â
Today was different though. He couldn't bring himself to send the woman away, couldn't explain somehow that he wanted to be left alone. Because he didn't want to be alone. Today was his birthday. And this year he found that he couldn't spend it alone.Â
"I guess I'm just old fashioned," Bucky replied. The woman smiled, adjusting her skirt as she crossed her legs. It reminded him of the women he'd spent most of his young adulthood swooning. The way the pleated skirt hugged her waist, the white blouse she wore tucked into it neatly. Her modest heels matched along with a black coat to fight off the cold March breeze. It was a sentimental comfort, taking him back to the 40s for just a moment.Â
"I find that old fashioned men are more favorable. They're better company, it's just in their nature." Y/n smiled, shyly looking over at him. He gave a short chuckle in response, turning his gaze away from her and praying that she hadn't seen him studying her.Â
"I don't know about that. Most of us come with more stubbornness than a mule and enough war stories to make you wish you were deaf." Y/n laughed, the innocent sound making his heart race but he managed to brush it off before he could make a fool of himself.Â
"I'm quite fond of war stories. My great grandfather used to tell me the most gripping tales about when he fought in World War II. I was convinced he had made half of them up but he swears up and down each one was true." She explained, becoming more enthused as she spoke of her relative.Â
Bucky smiled, watching with kind eyes as she continued. "My favorites were the stories of Captain America and the Howling Commandos. The amazing group of men that 'took down HYDRA just as easily as they stole the hearts of every woman in America'." Her hands rose, using her fingers to quote her great grandfather's words.Â
With each second Y/n spoke, Bucky felt his spirits lift ever so slightly. His smile lasted longer and his arms had relaxed, one leaning on the empty space between them while his other rested over the back of the bench. He silently watched the animated woman at his side, mesmerized by each little word. She was beautiful and he was enchanted by her stories, even if he already knew them. He had lived them after all.Â
"He was always so engaged in his tales. I think his favorite one to tell was the day he was rescued by Sergeant James Barnes, Captain America's right-hand man." Y/n supposed, turning to Bucky. Shock was written upon his face and while she dismissed it as disbelief that her relative had met such a well-known war hero, she had no idea that said war hero was seated right next to her.Â
His brow furrowed, trying desperately to remember the point in time she spoke of. Most of his memories had been recovered in Wakanda but some were still foggy, especially when he and Steve had encountered so many people during 1945.Â
"He was?" Bucky asked, trying to remain impersonal.Â
"So the legend says. My Pop was captured and taken to a HYDRA base in Poland. He told me about how scared he had been and how he truly believed he would die there. But then out of nowhere Sergeant Barnes was there, dressed in his signature blue coat and ready to save the day. I absolutely adored that story." Y/n retold, a warm smile gracing her lips as memories of her Pop telling it came flooding back to her.Â
Bucky was speechless. Even as the woman went on about how much she had idolized the man from the stories, he couldn't find any words to offer her.Â
Because he remembered her great grandfather. He remembered his heart racing a million miles an hour as he ran around through the factory, hastily opening any cell he came across as he searched for the lab he knew would hold at least one prisoner. He refused to leave without at least checking to make sure there wasn't a lone soldier strapped to the table. He had been that soldier not too long before that day and ironically he had been that man for 70 years after that.Â
As he had suspected, there was another soldier trapped in a chair very similar to the one he had been experimented in. With Steve outside running amuck, it was easy for Bucky to get around and free the prisoners without worrying about guards. But this room was different.Â
Upon entering he was met with two HYDRA scientists, each reaching for their guns once seeing him intruding. Thankfully, Bucky was faster and he took out the scientists before things could escalate. With that he quickly went to the soldier's aide, his eyes widening in shock when he noticed how young the man had really been. He must've just barely reached 18 and he was already facing something a man a decade older than him still had nightmares about.Â
However, despite that, the boy was livid and very adamant about shouting profanities at the now-dead scientists. "You Nazi sons of bitches are lucky he's here, I would've tore ya limb from limb!" The soldier had yelled, jerking his head to Bucky as he glared daggers at the scientists. "I could've done it too, honest." He insisted.Â
Bucky allowed himself to chuckle, though it was short given the circumstances they were in. The straps were removed and Bucky helped the boy stand, apologizing when he winced. His arms had been covered in dry spots of blood, puncture holes littering his sickly skin.Â
"Did they put anything in you?" Bucky asked sternly, dragging him out into the hall. The soldier shook his head, regaining his strength with each step they took.Â
"Nah, just took blood. I worried what they might use it for but guess it don't matter no more." He replied, letting out a breathless laugh. "I told them Nazi punks that they weren't gonna get away with this."Â
Bucky smiled, slipping out from under the soldier's arm and allowing him to walk on his own. "Yeah, not with soldiers like us on the front line." He agreed, earning a delighted chuckle from the soldier.Â
"You got that right."Â
The rest of the escape went without a hitch and Bucky was yet again at Steve's side, providing aid to any injured during the fight. Yet another soldier hung around them, helping where he could and Bucky recognized a follower when he saw one.Â
"You sure you're alright, kid? You've been hanging around for a while." Bucky asked, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. He felt the soldier tense under his grip, turning quickly to face the sergeant.Â
"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." The boy looked away as if debating his next words carefully. "I just-I wanted to thank you for saving me. I thought I was going to die there or worseâŚ" His voice trailed off, blinking rapidly as the shock wore off giving way to the beginning of relieved tears.Â
"You don't owe me anything. I'm sure you'd do the same if it were me." Bucky replied, trying to lighten the mood. The soldier nodded, knowing Bucky was right but it wasn't he who had saved Bucky. No, he still owed Bucky his life, and yet Bucky asked for no gratitude.Â
"I wish there was a way to repay ya." The soldier mumbled. Bucky shook his head, staying silent for a moment or two before sitting down next to the boy.Â
"You wanna repay me? Keep fighting. This war needs more people like you and with you behind us, we'll win." Bucky smiled softly, a small bit of pride swelling as he thought of all the men he'd met during his time on the front line. So many good men fighting the good fight.Â
"You have my word." The soldier replied, putting out his hand. Bucky glanced down at it, putting his own in the boy's and giving it a firm shake. "You know this is gonna make one hell of a story."Â
Bucky chuckled, already picturing the books that would be published about Captain America and the Howling Commandos.Â
"Yeah, I guess so." Bucky smiled, looking back down at the boy. "I never got your name, soldier."Â
"It's L/n, G/n L/n."Â
His attention drew back to the woman before him, seeing small similarities between her and the boy he'd once spared from the horrors of HYDRA. Her brow had furrowed, a bit confused yet concerned by his focused stare and he quickly glanced away, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.Â
"Whatever happened to him? That Barnes guy." Bucky questioned, attempting to steer attention away from the fact that he'd been staring at her. She looked away a slight frown displaying across her lips.Â
"When I was a teen, I heard he had ended up becoming a part of HYDRA. It broke my heart." She explained, her voice becoming softer as she spoke. "I never understood why a man who had given his life to end those monsters would ever pledge loyalty to them. I knew there was more to it. Even when everyone called him a killer, I knew the man who had saved my Pop wasn't the same man as that assassin."Â
Bucky was speechless. He hadn't anticipated such a reaction from his question but he soon found that all of his neglected emotions and trauma were still very much there. Lingering in his subconscious. He fought his frown instead staring at the shine of her eyes as the beginnings of tears struck her.Â
"I think it hit my Pop the worse. Hearing that Captain America was alive had affected him pretty strongly but finding out about James's fate struck him hardest." Y/n explained sorrow for her Pop and the heroes she'd grown up listening to striking her heart. Bucky wished he could soothe her, maybe blurt out that he was alright and that she needn't worry, but he couldn't.Â
He didn't want her to believe he was mocking her. Why would she believe him if he shared his true identity? She'd surely think he was preying on her fragile state and so he sat in painful silence, his heart going out for the girl who cared so much about the broken man.Â
"He still feels guilty. He thinks that somehow it was his fault that he didn't return the favor and that's why poor James suffered."Â
Before he could stop himself, Bucky shook his head. He couldn't help but object to the man's guilt. Bucky had learned over the years that the only people to blame for his torment were those involved in the Winter Soldier Program. No one else.Â
"From what I've heard, your Pop was a good man and I'm sure if he had been there he would've done everything in his power to help." Bucky reasoned, doing his best to sound indifferent.Â
Y/n nodded, stealing a glimpse of the man next to her before letting her gaze drop back to the ground. "Yeah."Â
A silence fell over them and it made his stomach turn. There was a sadness in the air, one he sensed wasn't just her pity towards him. All too suddenly it occurred to him that he was in fact over a hundred years old. Everyone from his past was a lifetime ago and it was likely that the boy he'd saved had lived and gone all before Bucky could reconnect with him.Â
"When did he pass?" Bucky questioned, his voice quaking as he dreadfully awaited her answer. She looked up at him with wide eyes, her solemn expression beginning to wash away with her bafflement.Â
"No, no he's still alive." A soft chuckle escaped her and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked up at him. "He's a very stubborn and irritable 96-year-old man who complains I don't check in often enough despite my daily visits." Y/n's smile returned and a deep sense of relief washed over Bucky.Â
He felt euphoric upon hearing that someone from his old life was still around. After losing Steve he found himself alone in this new world, not truly connecting with anyone since his passing. But here was another veteran of the war that had shattered him, another life affected by HYDRA.Â
"Can I see him?" Bucky asked without a second thought, his pleading eyes boring into Y/n confused orbs.Â
"You want to visit my Pop?" A gasp of disbelief escaped her but it was barely noticed as he nodded sincerely.Â
"I'm a bit of a World War II buff." He lied. He wanted nothing more than to see the man the soldier had become and maybe console the lifetime of guilt that had weighed down on him.Â
And whether it was the gray clouds rolling toward them or the amazingly beautiful gaze she was under, Y/n gave in pulling herself to her feet.Â
"Fine. I think he's getting sick of my face anyways." She offered a friendly laugh as he came to stand with her. Her Pop was visited by all kinds of people, even kids for school field trips, what was one more visitor?
"I don't think that's possible, doll." Bucky's voice didn't even sound like his own. It was a different version of himself, one he believed to be long dead. Something about the woman at his side drew out this part of himself and he rather easily accepted it, finding comfort within it.Â
"Guess we'll have to test that." Y/n smiled, her face heating up as he offered her arm. Her words were an unspoken guarantee and Bucky smiled once more, his heart fluttering at the idea of seeing this woman more often.Â
"I still haven't learned your name. Or should I call you the Mysterious Gentleman?" Y/n giggled, making Bucky's face flush in embarrassment.Â
"Oh, right. I'm sorry, I haven't met new people in a while. I'm Bucky." He chuckled. Y/n smiled up at him, her heart fluttering at the name.Â
"It's very nice to meet you, Bucky."Â
â˘â˘â˘
When they arrived at the retirement home, he was pleasantly surprised to find an open and welcoming atmosphere. This home was much better than some of the ones he had taken Steve to inspect sometime before his death. In fact, this home was similar to the one they'd ultimately decided for him.
The nurses were nice and the building was decorated nicely compared to most. The residents were allowed free-range of the grounds and visitors were welcome at any time. He supposed the soldier had made a rather successful life for himself and decided to retire in a place such as this.Â
As they continued Bucky let his mind wander to what would've become of him if he had reached his true age such as Steve had. Would he have settled down too, maybe found a wife and had some kids? Would he have continued to fight for good, free from HYDRA'S control, or would he have left the fight forever? Would he have found himself in a place like this, alongside the woman he had grown old with?Â
No. He was always meant to die young. That was his fate and he dared not go back in time to challenge it.Â
"Pop?" Y/n called through the door with a soft knock. The door creaked as she began to pull it open but it wasn't an unsettling sound. It reminded him of an old home, one that had been in the family for decades. A home that made its occupants feel safe.Â
"I swear if you have another woman in here," Y/n warned, letting the door fully open to reveal an older man, seated in a wheelchair in front of a small table. Chess was set before him and he idly fiddled with the pieces, playing his own game.Â
"I told you already, Sundrop. Tuesdays are my ladies' nights." The man smirked, giving the entertained grunt that most associate with old men. Bucky couldn't help the smile that slipped onto his lips upon hearing the familiar voice. It was gruff with age but Bucky recognized it with ease.Â
It was L/n.Â
"No. Tuesdays are for tacos, you leave those poor women alone." Y/n laughed, stepping further into the room as she absentmindedly began to put together his room. She returned his slippers to the side of his bed, took his photos from his bed and put them back on his desk, and managed to tuck his sheets back onto his bed all while he continued to mess with the chess pieces.Â
Bucky stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching as she moved whenever he was able to draw his gaze away from the older man. L/n's back was slightly arched, as it did with age and the wrinkles visible around his face were mostly that which came with a lifetime of laughter and smiles. He appeared at peace, a peace Steve had found when he left and a peace Bucky had only ever known from stories.Â
"Well, don't just stand there, son. Come on in, I won't bite." His playful tone cut into Bucky's thoughts and he stepped toward the older man, keeping caution in his steps as Y/n glanced over. She dusted her skirt instinctively, walking over to her great grandfather.Â
"Pop, I thought you said next time I came you'd be dressed." Y/n frowned, looking down at his pajamas. The old man swatted the air nonchalantly as if it was no great deal to him.Â
"You just dress so nice. I wouldn't want to outshine you, Sundrop." The man chuckled, not yet lifting his gaze from the playing board. Y/n's expression was amused yet still mildly annoyed as she turned to Bucky.Â
"I've brought someone, so please be nice." Y/n pleaded, sending a warm smile to Bucky as she put her hands on her Pop's shoulders, hoping the touch might attract his attention to the other man occupying the room.Â
"A male suitor, eh? I suppose I can scare him off for ya." The old man let out a laugh, glancing up at Y/n's rather flustered expression. Bucky chuckled too, his heart racing as Y/n glanced up at him with a timid smile, her eyes searching his own for any regret. She feared he might leave, suddenly decide that he had changed his mind and disappear. But he hadn't.Â
"I must warn you, I'm not an easy scare," Bucky replied, keeping his tone light and warm to match the older man's teasing attitude. Yet upon hearing Bucky, the older man froze, the chess piece slipping from his fingers.Â
Y/n's brow creased in worry but she didn't have time to question as her Pop turned his chair, facing Bucky head-on. Time seemed to stop as it had for the timeless man before him that L/n recognized so well. How could one forget the man that saved his life?Â
"Well, I'll be damned. Sarge?" The older man called out. His voice was tender and disbelieving, unable to process the sight before him. Bucky smiled warmly, stepping forward.Â
"Hey, L/n. Heard we won the war." The old man's face flashed between confusion and shock before ultimately settling on a grin that slowly spread across his face with a chuckle.Â
"Of course we did. Those Nazi punks didn't stand a chance with you and Steve leading us on." It was Bucky's turn to laugh, the sound so familiar yet different. A lifetime of pain had changed his laughter and it wasn't until that moment that he noticed it.Â
"Couldn't have done it without you and the others," Bucky spoke quietly, trying to express how happy it had made him to see such an old friend still present in the future Bucky no longer felt he belonged in. Â
L/n immediately noticed Bucky's downcast stare. With age came a powerful skill of observing and wisdom and he smiled at his old commander. With a swift lift of his arm, he brought it to his temple, saluting Bucky proudly.Â
Bucky was nearly floored by the action. It's been so long since anyone had even thought to mention he was indeed in the war, let alone salute him. He returned the gesture with a shaking hand, a subtle sting coming to his eyes as he looked down at the man in the wheelchair.Â
"You two know each other?" Y/n spoke up suddenly, watching the interaction with a curious gaze. Bucky smiled at her, letting his arm fall with L/n's as he turned his chair to her. Â
"You silly girl, I'm surprised you don't recognize him. You've seen his pictures all your life." L/n chortled, his eyes wrinkling in joy. Y/n's brow furrowed once more as she spared a glance between her Pop and Bucky, trying to piece together what exactly his words meant.Â
Abruptly it all clicked and her face paled as it morphed into a look of astonishment. It couldn't really be true right? Her Pops just had Bucky mistaken, it couldn't really be him. Â
"James?" She questioned. Bucky's chest tightened at the way she said his name. She spoke as if she had waited the entire war for him and he had just come home. Her voice made him feel accepted, even wanted.Â
"Oh my, I said all those things-why didn't you say anything?!" Her tone instantly changed to one of embarrassment and she brought her hands to her face trying to hide her shame as he let out a warm chuckle.Â
"I loved listening to you." He admitted. At his explanation, she stole a peek at him from behind her hands, a tender smile gracing her lips as her heart swelled.Â
But then the embarrassment hit her all over again. "I think I'm going to go get some coffee, coffee anyone? Cool. Excuse me." She rambled quickly, her heels clicking on the tile as she rushed to the door, disappearing into the hall to collect herself. Â
Bucky watched her go, stepping forward to go after her as worry set in but when L/n waved a dismissing hand, he paused. Â
"Eh, she'll be fine. I practically raised that girl. She's a little oblivious sometimes but she's the sweetest thing out there." He told Bucky, a small prideful smile growing on his face as Bucky's gaze lingered on the door.Â
"So I've learned," Bucky replied. L/n's chair squeaked as he turned it back around, drawing Bucky's attention away from where Y/n had rushed out.Â
"Come sit, we've got some catching up to do."Â
â˘â˘â˘
"So those books about the Howling Commandos? That was you?" Bucky questioned, disbelief lacing his words as L/n studied the chessboard. His wrinkled brow was furrowed in concentration but his amusement was obvious through his eyes.Â
"Every one of them. I told you they'd make good stories so I decided to make a series of it." L/n explained, finally moving his piece and folding his hands in his lap as Bucky sipped the coffee Y/n had brought back.Â
"That's amazing. I'm sure Steve would've loved to read 'em." He replied, thinking of his friend. Sure, Steve had wanted to leave the war in the past but Bucky just knew he'd enjoy hearing their stories from another point of view.Â
"Oh, he did." L/n said suddenly, making Bucky and Y/n share a look of confusion. "Sometime in early 2014, he tracked me down after finding one of my books. Sat and visited for a while and I sent him off with some manuscripts." He continued, smiling fondly at the memory.Â
"You never told me that," Y/n interjected, a little hurt that she'd missed an opportunity to meet the famous Captain America.Â
"You were still young. But I gave him some of those stories you sent me. The ones about Sarge here." L/n told her, pointing a finger toward Bucky as his other hand came to scratch his stubbled face. Bucky thought nothing of the stories, figuring they were the same as L/n's but when he glanced at Y/n his curiosity increased tenfold.Â
Y/n's eyes had widened like saucers and she couldn't seem to look at him dead on. The only form of eye contact she could muster was a stunned glare that she directed straight at her great grandfather.Â
"What stories?" Bucky asked. Y/n turned her gaze to him, her face softening slightly as she tried to piece together an answer.Â
"Oh just small ones, I guess." She started, her hands coming to grip her skirt as she wrapped the material around her finger. "It just didn't seem right that your story ended so soon."Â
Bucky offered her a kind smile, understanding what she had meant. Her books were fictional but based on truth. They represented what she'd wished happened to him rather than what actually had and he found himself wanting to read them badly. "Do you have any books?"Â
"A couple of manuscripts. Pop's favorite publishing company has taken a liking to me, so I'm hopeful." Y/n explained. L/n looked at her, reaching out and putting an arm around her shoulders as he shook her proudly. Â
"Of course they love you. You're writing is far better than mine, Sundrop." He cheered, making Y/n roll her eyes and shake her head with a smile.Â
"Sundrop?" Bucky repeated, having heard the name a couple of times but still not understanding its origin. L/n looked to Bucky, an excited grin on his face as he looked back at Y/n.Â
"Sunshine has followed this girl since the day she was born. Maybe she'll lighten your gloom a little, old man." L/n suggested, jesting a little.Â
"From where I'm sitting you're the old man, L/n." Bucky retorted. Y/n watched the two with a cheerful smile.Â
"Real funny. Y'know that supply trip to Poland in '45 would beg to differ." L/n refuted, sending Bucky a knowing smirk.Â
Bucky frowned at the mention of the event, narrowing his eyes on L/n carefully. "Please don't tell me that's in the book." He pleaded.Â
"Too late my friend."Â
"You mean when he slipped in that puddle and hurt his back?" Y/n asked, excitement bubbling in her stomach. It was truly mind-boggling to be talking with someone she'd only heard stories of all her life but she was slowly growing used to it.
"I walked around town that day with a hunch that Steve and your Pop here relentlessly teased me about." Bucky sighed, unable to fight the smile that crept into his face.Â
It was one of the many memories he held onto from the good old days, finding that with time it was becoming easier to replace his time at HYDRA with them.Â
"I love that story." Y/n smiled.Â
Bucky smiled back at her, his face flushing with the same warmth that spread through his chest. Where had she been during everything that had happened to him? Something told him that with her at his side, things would've been better. So much better.Â
"Those were the better days. I'm afraid my story lately hasn't been exactly a fairy tale." Bucky forced a smile, trying not to bring down the mood. It'd been so long since he'd just reminisced without the overwhelming pain that came with it.Â
"I'd love to hear the new stories, good or bad." Y/n smiled, leaning toward him absently. Â
"Only if you write them." Bucky grinned, leaning toward her as well.Â
L/n couldn't help but watch the scene with an annoyed but amused gaze. "Ugh, you two are making me feel old. Go, get outta here. Go see a film or something, I'm getting tired." He waved a dismissive hand, subtly suggesting they spend more time together. "Besides, Marie is coming by later and her granddaughter brought up cookies."Â
Y/n broke her gaze from Bucky to look at her great grandfather, looking between the two for a couple of moments before standing. "Ok, Pop. Let me go check in with your nurse and make sure you get your meds." She explained, leaning down to press a tender kiss to his head. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."Â
"Love ya too, darlin'." L/n smiled, watching as Bucky stood to follow her.Â
"It's great to see you again, old friend." Bucky smiled, putting out his hand for the older man.Â
L/n chuckled, giving Bucky's hand a hearty shake. "Likewise. You should visit more." He insisted. Bucky nodded, unable to lose his smile even if he wanted to. Â
"I'll be sure to." He promised.Â
Bucky turned to leave, noticing Y/n had already found her way out into the hall where the nurse spoke with her, both women smiling and chatting lightly through the glass. Bucky admired her, his attention only dragged away once L/n spoke again.Â
"Oh, one more thing. Take my little Sundrop dancing. Poor girl has never gone and I can't quite move like I used to. Show her how we old men do it." L/n requested.Â
Bucky was silent for a moment, watching as Y/n's gaze turned to him as if sensing his eyes on her. She offered him a smile before turning back to the nurse and nodding.Â
"You got it."
With one more goodbye, Bucky stepped out into the hall, watching as the nurse walked off to see another resident.
"You ready? I can give you a ride wherever you need to go. It's the least I could do for kidnapping you." Y/n teased, laughing softly as they began to make their way down the hall.Â
"It wasn't exactly a kidnapping, if anything I hitchhiked. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to go home yet." Bucky replied, his hands slipping into his coat pockets as he looked over at her.Â
She seemed relieved that he didn't want to leave yet, as if she was scared their interaction would end too soon. "What did you have in mind?"Â
"Well, I know your Pop mentioned going to watch a film but I was thinking maybe we could go dancing." He shrugged, trying to play it off as his own idea. Honestly, dancing was one of the few date ideas he remembered so surely he would've thought of it eventually.Â
"Dancing?"Â
"Yeah, I mean I'm not sure how people do it nowadays but I'm sure we could figure something out." Bucky spoke, a bit of nervousness settling into his gut. Was dancing not as romantic nowadays? Was it more of a second date type of thing?Â
"Alright, but only under one condition." Y/n said suddenly, pausing in the hall as she turned to him.Â
Bucky stopped too, smiling at the serious expression she tried to maintain as she laid down the conditions.Â
"And what might that be?"
"You teach me how to dance." A soft smile crept across her lips, growing as Bucky did the same.Â
Steve hated to admit it but he had always been a jealous person. As a child he was jealous of the way so many other kids had dads that tucked them in at night. As a teen he was jealous of how easily Bucky made women swoon. As an adult he was jealous of Stark when he attempted to woo Peggy. And now he was jealous because it seemed everyone but himself was able to easily talk and even kiss Y/n.
Oh how badly he had wanted to.
And he almost did during that game of spin the bottle. Yet he'd lost his nerve. And lost his chance.
Thor's laughter had drawn his full attention toward the pair. Not that his eye had ever left Y/n but now the man before him was blatantly being ignored as Steve's entire focus was on Y/n and Thor. He strained to hear whatever was being said by her but he could hardly pay attention as Thor lifted her into the air and spun her around like a princess.
He could've done that.
His blood nearly boiled as he watched Thor kiss her. It was innocent, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He was angry at the world and Thor but mostly himself.
Before Thanos he thought he'd have all the time he needed to work up to confessing his feelings for her while she stayed in Wakanda watching after his best friend. But when she was snapped away he realized he had made a horrible mistake. A mistake he regretted every minute of every day during those long five years.
But now he had a chance to fix it.
Yet he hadn't been able to talk to her since she returned. The friendship they'd had before then was bashful but strong yet during her absence he had distanced himself from the idea of her in order to cope.
When she returned all the emotions he felt came rushing back in waves. And he was still blowing it.
â˘â˘â˘
"I'm so tired of watching these two pine after one another." Wanda spoke suddenly, making Bucky turn toward her, dragging his gaze away from the pair.
"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, looking back at them as Wanda came to stand at his side, watching them with him.
"You mean you haven't noticed? Y/n's in love with Steve. Steve's in love with Y/n. It's agonizing to watch, really." She sighed, rather vexed with the entire situation. It was her after all who had watched them through the years. They'd known each other ever since before the accords and all that time they'd had an awkward friendship in which feelings were obvious on both ends yet neither had the courage to act.
She hated to imagine how Y/n's death might've affected him but yet it still hadn't given him the will of the courage to act. It pained her to watch the two fall back into their old ways.
"Y/n loves Steve?" Bucky mumbled, disbelief evident in his features. Wanda nodded, her eyes trailing Y/n as she made her way to Peter, who was standing haphazardly close to Steve.
"More than life itself, though she'll never admit it. I saw it when I had to enter her thoughts years ago during a mission we had in Germany." Wanda explained. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of Y/n's emotions. They crashed into her stronger than any wave could and even after all these years they were just as strong.
"Then why haven't they done anything?" Bucky asked. He looked down at her finding the same lost expression on her face that was more than likely on his.
"I don't know. Y/n told me last week the same thing she told me all those years ago. Things are too complicated and she can't risk losing him if he doesn't feel the same." Wanda quoted Y/n, her annoyance seeping through her words.
Bucky scoffed, recognizing the excuse as something very similar to Steve's and he shook his head, feeling the same defeat Wanda did. "Just like them to be too stupid to be happy." He groaned, looking up at them.
"Yeah. But hopefully when he kisses her one of them will do something." Wanda hoped her statement might encourage their boldness.
"Unless it's a repeat of spin the bottle." Bucky said, dreading the chance that it might happen. Wanda cringed, shaking her head.
"Y/n won't allow it. She takes the game too seriously." She replied, more to convince herself than Bucky. It was true. Y/n would get Steve to kiss her whether it was for the win or her own motives. That is if her nerves didn't take over.
"Let's hope."
â˘â˘â˘
"Well, if it isn't Spiderman." Y/n called out, grabbing Peter's attention. He smiled brightly, finally being called by his preferred name and not Spiderboy.
"Ms. Y/n! What-what are you doing here?" Peter's sore attempt at small talk made him wince but thankfully Y/n didn't seem to mind, looking down at his glass.
"Just mingling. Whatcha drinking?" She asked curiously, wondering if Tony had allowed the poor boy a drink while dealing with all the people who no doubt asked him millions of questions regarding his presence and age.
"Sprite. Mr. Stark said he can't allow me to 'drink and swing'." Peter adjusted his glass, using his fingers as quotations before letting out a short giggle at the phrase.
Y/n laughed as well, trying to appear relaxed as she felt a certain pair of eyes on her. Steve was standing just a few feet away with Tony, not within earshot but close enough to send butterflies to her stomach. With each kiss she collected she felt more and more anxious knowing eventually she'd reach Steve. Was she ready for that?
"Well, that simply won't do. It's a party, Peter, and I can't allow you to not drink. When I was your age Tony was slipping me drinks left and right, it's only fair I pass on the tradition." She explained, leaning forward carefully as her hand brushed his.
He blushed, his eyes widening like saucers as she skillfully slipped his glass out of his hand, replacing it with her own. Glancing at Tony as if expecting to be caught, he was relieved to find his father figure blissfully unaware of their treachery.
"Ms. Y/n, I really shouldn't-"
"Don't worry, I'll drive you home if you're that worried. I got you bro." Y/n promised, nudging his arm with a kind smile. "Now tell me you've at least tried champagne. You've been to like three of these parties now." She laughed her smile growing as he joined in.
"Yeah, well, I mean a little bit from my Aunt May's glass." Y/n shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, a dramatic look of sorrow on her face.
"My poor boy. I have many things to share with you. Speaking of which, Shuri is asking if you're coming with me to Wakanda next week." Y/n sipped the soda watching as Peter's fingers danced happily against his own glass.
"Really?! I mean, of course! If you want me to. I've never been, what's it like?" Peter rambled, his face lit up in excitement, making Y/n chuckle at how thrilled the boy was.
"You'll see soon enough. I'll come get you next Friday and bring your suit, I'm sure Shuri would love to tinker with it." Y/n advised. Peter nodded wildly, psyched for such a trip.
"Thank you, Ms. Y/n." Peter grinned. Y/n wrapped an arm around his shoulders turning him in the direction of where Tony was standing.
"Peter, Y/n is fine. Trust me, I'm one of the few people in this world who know what it's like to have Tony as a father figure and anyone who can handle that is okay in my book." Y/n laughed, pointing at the man in question.
As if sensing their shit talking, Tony turned around, catching sight of them. A suspicious glare was sent their way but Y/n could hardly notice it as another figure stepped into view, following Tony's gaze.
It was then that they were forced to look at one another head on. Not at a glance or a sneaky peek. They might as well have been standing in front of one another as they both froze.
If Y/n's heart decided to stop in that instant, she wouldn't blame it. The pure intensity of Steve's gaze was enough to make her shudder and she fought her every molecule to stare back. There was a warmth in his eyes, one that sent a flutter of giddiness through her.
A small smile crept onto his face and Y/n gasped, forcing herself to return the gesture and not just gawk at him. She was at a loss for words. It was the first time since Thanos that he had given her any sort of acknowledgement. While it hurt that their friendship had seemed to diminish while she'd been gone, she knew that rekindling it was a two way street. But now he was smiling at her. And she was smiling back.
She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until Peter stepped in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders and his brows furrowed in concern. "Y/n? Are you okay?" His voice was soothing and it helped her recover her loss of breath from her moment with Steve.
"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just...uh, thinking." She mumbled, her eyes drifting back to Steve once more. His smile had faltered slightly, his face beginning to match Peter's concern but with a small curve of her lips, she assured him that his worry was senseless.
"About the game?"
"Hmm?" Y/n questioned, directing her attention to the boy once more. Peter eyed his glass carefully before taking a cautious sip.
"The game you play with Ms. Natasha and Ms. Wanda. You're playing, right? I saw you earlier with Thor." He explained. Y/n's face flushed, a little embarrassed that her moment with Thor had been witnessed by someone she knew. What if Steve saw? Would he be jealous?
Y/n nearly shook her head, convincing herself that she wasn't worth being jealous over. Especially to Steve.
"Oh, yeah. We are. That reminds me, you like Star Wars right?" She smirked, looking at him as she sipped his soda, the pink on his cheeks making her giggle.
"Well, yeah, I mean lots of people do. I'm not the only one-that would be weird. Unless you like it, not that you liking it would make it less weird. Not that you're not weird! Weird-"
"Peter!" Y/n laughed, putting her hand on his as she lightly brought the drink down. "Whew boy, maybe alcohol isn't your thing. Then again you've always been a rambler." She gently took the drink back from him, watching as a wave of relief washed over him.
"Have you eaten yet? I think there's hors d'oeuvres around here somewhere." She muttered, glancing around for any servers. Peter shook his head accepting his soda back before looking back up at her.
"No I'm okay, really." He told her, his heart warming at how much she seemed to care. It was nice and he enjoyed his relationship with Y/n. She allowed him to do things with her like travel, patrol, even hang out in the lab and she quickly became another idol of his.
"Are you thinking of watching Star Wars?" He asked her, referring to her previous question. She smiled, shaking her head.
"No, I've already seen it, I'm just thinking of a pick up line for the game. Tonight's rules are if you like my line I get a kiss and I fully intend on winning tonight." Peter nearly choked on air as his eyes widened yet again.
"A kiss? From me?" Y/n giggled, tapping her finger to her cheek.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Parker. A kiss on the cheek will do." She teased, making his face impossibly redder. He shook his head frantically trying to display as best he could that it wasn't his intention.
"I'm kidding. Now are you ready to hear my cheesy pick up line or will I just have to forfeit?" Peter's head didn't seem to stop shaking as he urged her to continue. "Alright here goes."
"Hey, sweetheart. Do you like Star Wars cause Yoda only one for me." With a wink she smiled, enjoying the scrunch of Peter's nose as he cringed at the line.Â
"Not doing it for ya?" She laughed. Peter scoffed, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show.
"I hate to admit it, but it was kinda funny." He sighed, ashamed to have enjoyed such a horrible line. Y/n's grin grew, pointing to her cheek once more.
"Then pay up. I've got two more kisses to collect." Peter smiled, leaning forward and pecking the space her finger had been. "Thank you. Now find someone to mess with. I won't be the only one reeking havoc tonight." She poked a stern finger into his chest. With some convincing he eventually promised to at least pull a prank on Sam and Bucky.
With that she began to make her way to Tony. A knot formed in her stomach as she paced in his direction yet it wasn't Tony who made her nervous. No, only Steve Rogers could make her feel so squeamish and turn her legs to jelly. And she was making her way straight toward him.
Y/n could barely hear the click of her heels and the chatter of those around her over the pep talk she was giving herself in her head. She refused to embarrass herself in front of him. This was going to be her second chance and she wouldn't allow her nerves to ruin it again.
"As I live and breathe! Do I stand before Iron Man and Captain America? I do hope this isn't a dream." Steve's soft chuckle seemed to go straight to her core and she feared her heart might beat right out of her chest.
"Don't encourage her, Cap." Tony grumbled, turning his gaze to Y/n. "Well, if it isn't my favorite niece."
"Your only niece." Y/n corrected, a short glare focused on him as he smirked.
"Let me guess you're here to win the game. Let's hear it so poor Cap here can get a turn. I don't think he's kissed a woman since the 40s." Tony leaned down, whispering the last part and making Y/n giggle.
"Hey!" Steve objected in vain. But what Y/n said next sent any duty to protect his pride out the window.
"That's a crying shame. The ladies must not know what they're missing." Y/n froze as the words left her mouth. What was she thinking? Her face burned and she hid behind her glass trying to muffle her embarrassed groan with her champagne.
"Jeez, get a room." Steve and Y/n both glared at Tony but he didn't seem to care, instead shrugging innocently.
"Alright, here's your line you impatient ass." Y/n scoffed, deciding to use a particularly bad line for the annoying man she dared call her father figure.
"Was that it?" He smirked.
"Shut up, I gotta turn around and approach this again or else it won't work." She hissed, earning a heartfelt laugh from Steve. Twice. She'd made him laugh twice. Her heart was practically singing at the thought. Maybe she'd actually get to kiss him?
With more determination than before, she turned around, taking a few steps away before dramatically turning back to them. Using theatrics she no doubt learned from Tony Stark himself, she put on a smile before holding her arms out in a grand gesture.
"Well I'm here, what's your next two wishes?"
"That was horrendous." Tony said almost immediately while Steve tried to contain his laughter behind them.
"Well, I couldn't very well waste my best lines on you now could I?" Y/n jested, taking the glass in his hand and pouring what remained of his drink into her now empty glass.
Tony's teasing expression fell as he painfully watched Y/n sip her glass. "I can't believe you're related to me." Y/n smiled back at him proudly.
"Only by marriage." She shrugged. Tony sighed, leaning down and pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead just along her hairline.
"Thank god." He ignored Y/n's squinted stare, turning to Steve. "I think I'm going to go get another drink, since mine was so blatantly stolen." Tony glanced at Y/n who shamelessly smirked.
"But first I wanna hear your pick up line for Cap. Please be something patriotic. Maybe sing him the national anthem." He suggested, nudging Steve forward to where he stood before Y/n.
Not expecting Tony's push, Steve stumbled nearly crashing into Y/n but thankfully he caught himself, only having a redder face than before.
"I'm not sure the national anthem is a pick up line, Tony." Y/n replied, focusing on anything but Steve. At this distance she could smell the familiar cologne and feel the heat radiating from him. It reminded her all too much of the days before the snap. When he'd hold her whenever she was hurt or when he'd pick her up to launch her toward an enemy. Reminded her of the few hugs they'd managed to share.
Reminded her of their last before she dusted in his arms.
"I don't know. He's really horny for America, it might work." Tony refuted, earning a threatening gaze from both Steve and his niece.
"Fine, y'know what? Have privacy or whatever in the middle of this crowded party. See if I care." Tony said, a little butt hurt that he wouldn't be able to witness the awkward exchange first hand.
He was no idiot when it came to his niece's attraction to the super soldier. While at first he disapproved, even more so when it led to her being on the opposite side that day in Berlin, years had led to forgiveness. He couldn't really stay mad at her even if he tried. Only sorry he hadn't apologized before the snap.
"Thank you, Tony." Y/n spoke quietly, sending him a grateful look. Whatever was about to happen already made her nervous, she didn't think doing it with Tony there would be possible.
"Yeah, yeah." He waved a dismissive hand, beginning to walk away.
It wasn't until he had Morgan that he realized he was already a father. Y/n had been his first and no matter his guilt, she would always forgive him. Always need him.
"Don't get carried away." He threatened suddenly, pointing to his eyes before twisting his hand back to them with a menacing squint.
Y/n rolled her eyes, looking back to Steve as Tony finally left.
"He's protective." Y/n explained, trying to be annoyed. It was actually kinda touching the way he cared despite his usual selfish smartass exterior.
"For good reason." Steve agreed, making Y/n's head tilt confused.
"You think I can't take care of myself?" She questioned defensively, ready to prove her worth no matter who he was.
"No, of course you can. Just-..." He trailed off, a sorrowful expression taking hold of his features against his will. "We've both failed you before. Numerous times." Steve confessed, his eyes falling downcast as Y/n realized what he'd meant.
Sheâd never truly thought about how her absence might have affected him. Before the snap he never gave any hint that he wanted to be more than a friend to her. But now she studied that look in his eye, that one she hadnât recognized before. Heartbreak.Â
"Steve, you didn't fail me." She insisted. Her hand had come to his own, grasping lightly at his loose fingers and ignoring the buzz in her skin and the rapid pace of her heart.
"No, I did. I turned you against your family. I got you arrested. I dragged you back into the fight and...you got snapped away." His voice broke at the end, years of depression and misery washing over him all over again.
"It wasn't your fault. We all lost that day." Y/n argued but her words didn't seem to stick.
"I'll never forgive myself." Steve's words were barely above a whisper, each syllable falling further into him unable to escape.
The sight alone made her heart ache but it was the way he'd spoken that truly shook her. They were the words of a broken man, a man that had lost it all. Had she done that to him? Did he care about her like that? Maybe he was scared too.
âWell, it's a good thing I already did.â Y/n smiled hoping to bring back the smile that she'd been able to give him moments before. Her hand stayed planted to his own more terrified to release it than she was to keep holding it. Would she ever work up the courage to do it again?
Steve looked back up at her, a tender glimmer in his eye as he moved his hand to hold her own. âI missed you.â
The statement alone wasn't nearly enough to convey how much he'd longed for her in those five years, left without any hope of ever getting her back. Didnât show her the sleepless nights or the endless tears. Didnât show her first few years he spent, alone and secluded. Didnât show her how many times he prayed to any god that would listen for them to bring her back.Â
But her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood. Y/n knew exactly how he felt even if she'd been relieved of it for five years. She remembered when she was arrested, screaming at the guards that they'd never find Steve. Remembered the sobs that racked through her when he came to free her, relieved heâd made it out of the war safely. Remembered their time on the run, unable to tell him how she felt. Remembered volunteering to stay with Bucky when Steve's worry became too much. Remembered him coming back and bring a war with him. Remembered him catching her before she dusted, too fast for her to tell him her greatest truth.Â
She loved him.
âI missed you too.â She said softly, her face burning under his gentle gaze. Theyâd become so unbearably close at that point, making her breath ragged and her heart race.Â
Clearing her throat, she looked away, trying not to reveal how flustered he made her. âSo do you wanna hear my pick up line or not?â She once again changed the subject, making Steve smile at her lovingly.Â
âDefinitely.â He replied.Â
âAlright. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?â She gave him the first one that came to find, silently groaning when she realized she'd done exactly what Tony suggested. Curse their horribly similar minds.Â
"That's terrible." Steve chuckled, staring at her with adoration unlike he'd ever done before. She was absolutely perfect in his eyes and he refused to waste anymore time being scared.Â
"You didn't like that? I have more." Y/n rambled, oblivious toward Steve's affectionate gaze. "Can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else."Â
Steve laughed, shaking his head as he stepping forward and shifting his hand to her waist as he pulled her closer.Â
The action on flustered her further, dragging another pick up line out of her. "Or I like your last name, can we share it?"Â
Steve's smile grew, his heart swelling with each word. He loved listening to her lines even if they were cheesy. But he was determined now and he wouldn't let either of their nerves stop them anymore.Â
"I lost my number, can I have-"
Suddenly he leaned forward, cutting her sentence short as his lips latched onto her own.Â
The kiss was so tender she practically melted in his arms, her hand coming to his chest while the other shifted to behind his neck, her fingers filtering through the lower part of his hair. His grip around her waist tightened as his heart pounded under her palms, the aftermath of anticipation rushing through his chest.Â
It was effortless the way they molded together and it left him breathless. He couldn't believe he'd never just kissed her before and after believing all these years he'd never get the chance to, he was so grateful to have her now.Â
"I've waited too long for that. I think I'm gonna need interest." Y/n gasped as they pulled away her eyes half lidded as she tried to process what had happened.Â
"Was that another pick up line?" Steve's brows furrowed, his lips a beautiful shade of darker pink.Â
Y/n smiled up at him, pulling him close once more. "Shut up."Â
â˘â˘â˘Â
"Who's gonna tell her she didn't win?" Wanda questioned suddenly, glancing over at Nat.Â
Sam raised his hands in surrender, passing off the duty as soon as possible to avoid any type of rage the woman might've wreaked on him.Â
"I don't think she'll really care at this point." Nat spoke, pointing a finger toward the couple across the room.Â
They didn't seem to care that they were in a room full of people, instead remaining engrossed in each other as they stared at each other lovingly. It was touching really but what Nat assumed to be their confessions had lost Y/n the game.Â
"Wait does this mean the games with stop?" Sam questioned suddenly.Â
"No, it'll just make them more interesting." Nat smirked.
"First one to kiss Thor wins." Wanda suggested. Y/n tried to hide her scoff but judging by Nat's elbow in her ribs, she hadn't been successful. "Come on, Y/n!" Wanda groaned, rubbing her forehead in frustration.Â
"Oh, you come on! What? Are we going to play 'would you rather' after?"Â Y/n joked, earning yet another jab from Nat. The two red heads glared at her annoyed but Y/n didn't care as she took a sip of champagne.
Pepper had convinced Tony to hold another party in hopes of boosting the team's morale and while it wasn't the first time he'd done it, the parties were still enjoyable. Y/n couldn't help the enthusiasm and joy that came with drinking, dancing and mingling. Everyone came, at least everyone she knew, along with a hundred other people Tony knew. Even Peter had started to attend the last few parties, granted Tony only made him a frequent attendee once he'd reached 18.
The parties were fun, yes, but still being the drama and excitement addicts they were, Y/n and her closest friends craved the thrill of their little games. They played them at every party. The first was a simple game of truth or dare and the second had been the cliche spin the bottle. But with each gathering their dares and games grew more and more risky. And Y/n loved it. They all did.
But tonight was different.
Tonight was boring.
"You're just upset that Bucky didn't want to make out in the closet with you last time we played." Nat accused. A deep frown settled on Y/n's lips from the stab at her pride but she quickly waved off Nat's insult with a dismissing hand.
"That's because he knew I was drunk off my ass. I didn't really wanna make out with him either, he's my friend. You know what alcohol does to me." She argued, getting a short disbelieving nod from Wanda in return.
"Uh huh. Or maybe cause he knows you're into his best friend." Nat suggested, sipping her own drink with a smirk as she narrowly dodged Y/n's threatening hand. Wanda giggled at the interaction, knowing there was truth behind Nat's words. She had seen into Y/n's mind and her fondness toward Steve practically screamed back at her.
"I'm not into Steve. The man is too self righteous for his own good and you know I'm into bad boys." Y/n shrugged, her attempt at hiding her feelings becoming transparent in her friends' eyes.
Yet before either of them could argue further and perhaps bring up the kiss she almost shared with Steve during spin the bottle, Sam and Bucky arrived. "Who's into bad boys? You've come to the right place ladies, I'm the baddest of them all." Sam flashed a charming smile to which they all rolled their eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sam, but I think Bucky has you beat on bad boys." Y/n challenged, sending a playful wink toward the soldier. Sam gasped, mocking hurt while Bucky rolled his eyes rather unamused with the discussion.
"That's right, weren't you the second shooter in the JFK assassination? That's gotta be as bad as it gets." Nat commented causing a dark flush on Bucky's face. A short flash of guilt appeared on his face but he instantly brushed the comment off deciding not to dig into his cloudy memory for the truth. The second shooter was just a conspiracy theory anyways. But then again, so was the Winter Solider...
"What are you, a cop?" Bucky let out a strained chuckle, bringing his drink to his lips subtly trying to pull himself from the conversation. Y/n offered an apologetic smile and he returned it gratefully before she turned her gaze away.
Despite his closed off nature she'd actually become a sort of friend to Bucky and while at first it was rocky, she rather enjoyed her friendship with him. Through Bucky she heard stories about Steve when they were growing up and she saw another side of him that she wished she'd known.
"You ladies up to another game?" Sam questioned suddenly. Nat nodded sharing a look with Wanda but Y/n's focus had been drawn away. While lost in her thoughts about him, her gaze had drifted to the man of her fantasies and she shamelessly watched as he talked with Tony and another man she didn't care to remember.
He was smiling, a sight that she cherished even if he'd never notice. The blue of his eyes seemed to shine brighter than any fireworks she'd ever seen and her heart skipped a beat just looking at them. His blonde locks had grown out while she had been snapped away but not enough to make him appear drastically changed. In fact she wasn't sure if anyone else had really noticed. Maybe she was just a stalker.
"Well, we were going to play one but Y/n thinks it's not big enough." Wanda replied, giving Y/n a glare as she turned back to the group.
"Well, it wasn't. I feel like everyone's used to our shenanigans so there's no challenge." Y/n shrugged, peering at the others with a bored stare. Sam shook his head, refusing to let the tradition die.
"What did you guys have in mind?" He asked, looking over the three women as they glanced around the party.
"Wanda suggested a competition to see who could kiss Thor first." Nat explained. Bucky scrunched his nose in disdain at the dare, exchanging a exasperated look with Y/n.
"Thor would do anything, if you asked him." Sam sighed, drinking whatever liquor he had requested. Y/n remembered him saying something about woman being attracted to a man who can handle hard liquor but she had chosen to ignore him. Though she did have to admit it must've been hard for him to compete with both of his best friends being able to drink without the effects of the alcohol they consumed.
"That's what I thought! Thor would gladly abide anything if it made us happy. He's too kind for his own good." Y/n playfully rolled her eyes as they looked over to said god. He had slimmed down significantly during his time with the guardians and Y/n could almost swear that there wasn't an ounce of body fat left on the man. His hair had been cut as well, returning to his signature length and his beard had been trimmed down to a reasonable length. In other words, the Asgardian had almost every girl swooning once more.
But Y/n was swooning for another.
The same man she had for years.
"We could make it more of a challenge." Nat proposed. The group turned to her with interested eyes, the only one who hadn't seemed to match their intrigue being a very grumpy Bucky. "We could expand the dare to all Avengers. Unless you guys wanna be pussys and limit it only to men." Nat winked.
Wanda's face flushed at the suggestion and quickly shook her head. "I have a hard enough time kissing the people I've known for years let alone all the new Avengers." She squeaked. Sam chuckled nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, not that you guys are pussys I'm just saying that is a lot of people. That'll take forever. Let's just stick with Avengers pre-snap." Sam's laughter grew at Y/n and Nat's disappointed expressions, having reaped them of the extra challenge they'd been searching for.
"How about this?" He began realizing without a catch the game wouldn't be that much fun for any of them. "You have to get them to kiss you but only using cheesy ass pick up lines." Sam explained, looking rather proud of his game plan.
"What type of kiss?" Y/n questioned suspiciously.
"Any." A buzz of laughter and eagerness flooded over the girls and Y/n smirked knowing she'd been born for this challenge. "Are we all in agreement?" Sam asked looking to each for affirmations. Once everyone was on board they put their hands in the middle, a sort of ritual they had developed as a way to insure everyone's commitment.
But another presence had been added to their usual group and they turned to Bucky to see what he would do. He had never been on the scheming side of the games and usually was a victim but now he had a choice. Though he'd rather be removed from the plan all together he figured he'd might as well get it over with while he still knew what was happening.
"Yeah, alright but I'm not doing make outs. You guys do your lines or whatever, get your kiss, then I'm out." Bucky told them, putting his vibranium arm into the middle along with the rest. With childish grins on their faces they let their hands fall as Sam stepped forward.
"As per tradition, you all start off with a good luck kiss from moi." Sam explained, putting a dramatic hand over his chest as he turned to Wanda. She scoffed at his attempt at charm allowing him to peck her lips with a teasing smirk. Turning to Nat, he hesitated allowing her to quickly kiss him, learning the hard way that coming onto her was an easy way to get a black eye. The smack of her lipstick made Bucky shake his head, his 40s mindset unable to grasp how easily they'd all accepted the concept.
Sam then turned to Y/n, noticing the way she subtly glanced in the direction of Steve as his arm came around her waist. "Looking for someone? Cause your prince charming is right here." Sam flirted earning an eye roll from the woman before him.
"I thought we were supposed to do the crappy pick up lines." Y/n raised a brow, keeping a hand on his chest to get some distance.
"I said cheesy not crappy. I'm offended." He frowned playfully only to have it wiped off his face by the soft peck of her lips. She pulled away just as quick, slipping out of his hold and shaking her head.
"Oh, how will you ever recover?" She replied sarcastically, making the girls laugh quietly beside her. He smirked turning to Bucky.
"Alright, Buck. Let's get this show on the road." Sam announced patting Bucky's shoulder roughly as he urged him forward. Surprisingly Bucky seemed more nervous than he did annoyed so Y/n decided to take the lead this time, stepping closer to the brunette.
Deciding to keep it simple for Bucky's sake she trailed her fingers along his forearm, giving him a gentle smile. "Hey, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back." She spoke smoothly. Sam cackled behind them but Y/n paid no mind instead smiling back at Bucky as he chuckled softly, grateful she hadn't used one of the dirty lines he was sure she had.
Shaking his head he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of her lips. Though he made it seem like he was annoyed by the games he was forced into every party, he found Y/n made them more enjoyable, being one of his only friends.
"Go on. You better win since it's your fault I'm a part of this." He grumbled and Y/n laughed, nodding before running off to claim more lips.
On the other side of the room a certain blonde had caught sight of her, his eyes narrowing slightly in interest as Tony leaned closer to him. "I think Y/n's playing another one of those games. I swear that girl is going to be the death of me. Let's just hope Morgan stays innocent." Tony mumbled, bringing his glass to his lips as he surveyed Steve's expression.
"Yeah." Steve replied dully, his focus directed at the only girl in the room he couldn't keep his eyes off of. Tony smirked knowingly, deciding he'd allow Steve to ignore him just this once.
â˘â˘â˘
Y/n had this in the bag.
Thanks to Sam she had a wide range of pick up lines to try out and she planned to use the right one with each.
The first person she recognized in the crowd was T'Challa and she made her way to him slyly, his gaze falling on her as the crowd parted. "Ah, Ms. Y/n. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He questioned, a bit of mistrust in his eyes when he recognized the smirk on her face.
"Just seeing how my favorite pussy cat is." Y/n replied with an innocent shrug. He squinted suspecting her ulterior motives. He'd been to enough of Tony's parties to know that she along with Nat and Wanda usually had some kind of game and while he was entertained by it he also knew he needed to maintain decency being a King.
"He is very happy you're here to make things interesting. He was just telling me about how boring this party was. Also he was telling me he should ask you when you're going to bring Peter to Wakanda, that boy won't get off my back." Shuri spoke up, stepping closer to the pair with a pleased smirk. T'Challa didn't seem to share her amusement but knew most of what she had said was true.
"Well, you'll be happy to know that I have to be in Wakanda next week, I'll see if he's free to tag along." Y/n replied, turning her gaze to the spider boy. He still seemed to follow Tony around like a lost puppy but Y/n hoped maybe their field trip to Wakanda would break him out of his shell.
"Would it be wishful thinking if I hoped your visit to our kingdom is the only reason for your presence now?" T'Challa questioned. Shuri and Y/n laughed answering his question. There was another game going on. "What's the challenge now? Let me guess, I should be expecting Ms. Romanoff and Ms. Maximoff next?"
"More than likely. But there's a twist this time." Y/n explained, noticing the bit of curiosity in his eye as she sipped her drink. "If you like my pick up line, you have to give me a kiss."
Shuri giggled next to them excited to hear whatever line Y/n had planned. The young princess was always up for some mischief especially if her brother was the victim and this was what made her adore Y/n so much.
"And what if I don't?"
"I'll just have to try again, I suppose. You know how persistent I am." Y/n winked. T'Challa shook his head, catching sight of Wanda across the room having already collected her kiss from Thor. With a silent sigh, he turned back to Y/n figuring he'd best not hold her up any longer.
"Fine." Y/n smiled, locking eyes with Shuri for a moment before turning back to T'Challa. She stepped forward, the soft click of her heels sending a chill down his spine as she put a hand on his upper arm. Her lips curved into a smile and he braced himself for the line that seemed to bring her so much pride.
"Meow you doin'?" Y/n smirked, her voice smooth as velvet as her eyes stared into his. Laughter erupted from his sister and he turned to her as Y/n burst out into her own fit of giggles.
"I don't get it." T'Challa told them, dumbly trying to use the little bit of context he was given to understand the joke.
"Oh, brother! As soon as we return home we are watching Friends! Now give her a kiss so that she may have a chance at winning!" Shuri spoke through laughs. T'Challa shook his head but lifted Y/n's hand nonetheless and placed a soft kiss to her knuckles.
"I feel cheated." He grumbled but the laughter from both girls was enough to take his mind off the pick up line that went straight over his head.
"Pleasure doing business with you, King T'Challa." Y/n curtsied before turning away to find her next victim, leaving T'Challa and Shuri with entertained smiles.
Next on her list was Bruce Banner, the most lost out of all of the men who had experienced the game. The first time they decided to target just one person, he had been the focus and while he enjoyed Nat's kiss, Y/n and Wanda following in the act seemed to put him in a daze for a week.
"You got T'Challa right off that bat? Sometimes I hate how good you are at this." Nat's voice cut into Y/n's thoughts as the two stood together surveying Bruce.
"There's nothing to it, my friend. Give a line, get a kiss. It's science. Did you already get Clint?" Y/n questioned, trying to see where she was at as far as the competition went.
Nat shook her head softly, glancing over at the other men they'd still needed to kiss. "No. He's not here. He says he wants us to take his retirement seriously so until then he won't be at the parties, I guess." She explained and Y/n nodded quietly. One less guy to convince, she reasoned.
"You know I'll never get used to his transformation thing." Y/n commented, gesturing toward Bruce with a nod. Nat followed her gaze, leaning into Y/n to see past the crowd of people in front of her.
"Yeah, me either." She replied. Y/n's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she glanced at Nat through the corner of her eye but ultimately decided it wasn't something she really desired to question further.
"You better save your best pick up line for Steve." Nat warned, the smile on her lips all too knowing for Y/n's liking. Her mouth ran dry and the familiar rush upon hearing his name coursed through her making her face burn.
"For the last time, I'm not into-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Too bad though. He's been watching you ever since the game started." Nat whispered, turning Y/n's head in his direction with a poke to her chin.
The red on Y/n's face grew darker at the sight of Steve looking back at her, his eyes locking with hers over the rim on his glass. A soft shade of pink settled on his cheeks to match her own and his gaze faltered before returning to the man he'd been talking to.
"Save the best for last." Nat teased softly as Y/n turned back to her. She tried to brush off Nat's words as she stalked off toward Bruce but she couldn't get the image of Steve out of her mind.
Had he ever looked at her like that before? Was she losing her mind?
A long sigh escaped her as she tried desperately to focus on racking her brain for any science puns she had.
"Y/n! Hey, long time no see!" He cheered, pulling her into a side hug. The laughter that bubbled out of her chest was involuntary as she practically disappeared under his good arm.
"It's nice to see you too, Bruce. How's the arm?" Y/n questioned gesturing to the cast that seemed to be permanent on the larger than life limb. Bruce offered a tentative shrug, looking down at it.
"Tony and I aren't sure if it's ever going to heal. He's been looking at the possibility of getting a prosthetic but I don't really mind it. We beat Thanos, that's all that really matters to me." He replied. Y/n smiled kindly at him, putting her hand on the cast as her fingers trailed Steve's signature. She couldn't help the racing of her heart when she realized he'd signed right below her own.
"So, Nat tells me you guys are doing another game. Why do you guys do that anyways? Don't you get embarrassed?" He asked, genuinely interested. Whatever Nat had told him seemed to make him more aware and Y/n found herself open to his questions.
"I don't know. I trust everyone on the team so kissing them isn't a big deal. If anything I think it makes us more open to one another. Not to mention half of us are touch starved and probably need a kiss every so often." She laughed thinking back to her poor Bucky.
Bruce laughed too, "Well, maybe next party you'll find a way to get everyone to play. That'll be a sight." He chuckled imagining everyone competing against one another in some intimate game. Y/n nodded perhaps taking the suggestion maybe a bit too seriously.
"Maybe...I've gotta win this game first though. I'm sure you know the rules." She raised a playful brow and crossed her arms. He nodded remembering Nat's line with a loving smile. "Good. Let's see."
Her hand rose to her chin, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as she thought. Bruce watched with a entertained smile as her eyes lit up before looking back at him.
"Hey, baby. If you were an enzyme I'd be a DNA synthase so I could unzip your genes." She nudged Bruce's side making him laugh.
"That was the worst." He chuckled and Y/n laughed as well, nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, but you laughed so..." He nodded wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head, the most accessible spot from his outrageous height.
"I'm gonna remember that one." Bruce told her, his head bobbing unconsciously as he already began practicing the line in his head. Y/n bowed proudly before disappearing into the crowd once more.
"Who's next?" She mumbled to herself, running her hands along her dress, absentmindedly flatting the bunching in the fabric. The dress had been her favorite, hugging her perfectly as many of the tailored clothes Pepper sent her did. But this one was different.
This one was blue. But not just any blue. It was the same dark navy Steve wore on every mission. A color she found herself buying more often, whether it be on a folder or on a dress. She was almost attracted to it as much as she was to Steve and while it seemed a little silly, it made her happy knowing she could express her hidden feelings through little things such as that. She truly was head over heels but she could never tell him that. She could never risk the rejection she feared she'd be met with if she dared make a move.
So she loved him from afar.
â˘â˘â˘
"Oh no. Not pick up lines." Tony groaned next to Steve, his eyes nearly disappearing into the back of his head as he rolled them. Sam chuckled, nodding his head.
"It's true. Everyone is going to get hit on in the most undesired way possible tonight." He grinned, his lips still buzzing from the kisses he'd recieved.
"Yeah, you have bird brain here to thank for that." Bucky grumbled from Steve's left. Sam frowned, glaring at the semi stable hundred year old man.
"That's not what you said when you kissed Y/n." He retorted.
Steve tried to fight the jealousy that boiled in his gut but Bucky had already noticed the frown that reached his best friend's face.
"Only because I want her to win. She's my friend." Bucky explained, hoping his emphasize on 'friend' would put Steve at ease but the super soldier would never truly be at ease unless he had her in his arms.
He'd lost so much over the years including her and now that he had it all back-had her back, it felt wrong that they weren't together like he hoped. But he couldn't just tell her. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he lost her in a way that no infinity stones could reverse?
"Personally I'm rooting for Wanda. That girl's smile would make you wanna kiss her. Not to mention her mind control stuff." Sam argued, using his hand to mimick Wanda's powers.
"Is this going to happen at every party?" Fury remarked from behind them making them turn to him, some with annoyed glances.
"You're not allowed to say anything about this, 'Mr. Off-Limits'." Sam proclaimed, feeling a tad responsible for keeping Fury out of the games. Especially after what happened last time.
"I won't be forced to partake in childish games like that. Y/n had it coming." Fury explained, any remorse he might've felt long gone.
Steve crossed his arms, his shirt tightening around his arms as he tried to bite his tongue. "You nearly broke her arm." He suddenly spoke up. Sam's suggestive smirk made him regret it instantly but thankfully Sam chose not to say anything.
"Gotta admit. Her resolve is pretty firm. It's actually pretty hot." Sam wiggled a brow at Steve. The poor blonde wanted to curl up and die in shame but Sam wasn't wrong.
Perhaps it was her determination and strong will that had attracted him. They were characteristics he was known for as Captain America but yet somehow her will was more powerful than his own.
It was one of the many things that he had loved her for. And one of the things that kept him going during the five years without her.
"Ugh. Can we please not talk about my niece like this?" Tony groaned, hating the idea of them sexualizing the girl he'd practically raised since she was a teen. Steve agreed, unsure how much longer he'd be able to stand them talking about her.
"Ooo, look. She's onto Thor now." Peter piped up pointing a finger toward Y/n as she made her way to the golden haired god. Yet the warning glare he received from Tony was enough to make him quiet again and he silently sunk back into the crowd behind them.
"I've got too many kids."
â˘â˘â˘
"Thor!" Y/n cheered. Upon hearing his name, the Asgardian turned returning her smile with a brilliant grin. The flask in his hand was opened yet there was no flush to his face signaling he was either only mildly buzzed or close to it.
"Lady Y/n. I was beginning to wonder when you'd come around. I do cherish our time together." Thor's smile was kind and radiant but she couldn't help but think there was still one smile that could outshine even that of a god's.
"Oh, you know I'd never miss a kiss from you." Y/n returned the charm, allowing his arm to come around her waist, resting at a comfortable distance from her hips. Thor had been the most accepting of their games and never seemed to go through the confusion that the rest did. Or maybe that was just her.
"I was just telling Valkyrie of your little games. She finds them truly amusing. Perhaps I'll convince you to accept her into the tournament." Thor explained, gesturing the hand holding his flask toward Valkyrie.
"Well, it's not exactly a tournament, just a little fun to keep things interesting. You're welcome to join if you're up for it." Y/n smiled, offering a small nod of acceptance toward the warrior woman.
"A competition among women where men are the victims? Sounds like my kind of crowd." Valkyrie replied, an excited smile landing on her lips as the two woman shared a look of mutual approval.
"Wonderful." Thor praised, the joy in his tone seeming to radiate off of him, infecting Y/n with each passing second she was in his grasp. "Now Lady Wanda spoke of this night's challenge. I believe you have a suggestive comment in which to lift me yes?" He spoke, looking down at Y/n as she began to giggle uncontrollably.
"Yes, Thor. In return for the pick up line, I get a kiss. But only if you enjoy it." She recited the rules earning a heartfelt smile from him in return.
"If it is spoken by you I'm bound to enjoy it." He told her earnestly. There was something in the way he would speak that made a girl's knees weak and while Y/n was able to withstand it better than most, she wondered if he was striving for that reaction from her.
Y/n shook her head at him, giving him a half-hearted glare as she looked up at him. "Alright, here it goes." She warned him, taking his attentive gaze as a confirmation to continue.
"Hey, gorgeous. Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes." Before Y/n could even offer a wink or a smirk, thunderous laughter sounded from the man beside her, drawing the attention of everyone around them.
A flush of pink bloomed on her face, slightly embarrassed under the eyes of so many, especially Steve, yet she wasn't able to dwell on it for long as she was swept up into the air. Ever the enthusiast, Thor had excitedly boosted her into the air and spun her before allowing her feet to reach the ground again, a little unsteadily from how fast he'd acted.
"You've certainly lifted me, Lady Y/n." Thor told her, bringing her smile back as she regained her balance. "Are you ready for your kiss now?" He inquired, his hand resting comfortably on her waist as he insured she was still willing to welcome a kiss.
With a small nod she leaned up accepting his lips in a teasing yet modest kiss not unlike the one they'd shared before. They pulled away a moment later, smiling at each other as Thor's hand easily slipped away from her waist.
"I'm afraid I must send you off in order for you to return victorious." Thor said, a hint of reluctance in his tone yet in a taunting way similar to friendly banter.
"And that I shall. I'm the best, you know." Y/n declared. Valkyrie laughed beside her, lifting her own glass toward Y/n in a sort of cheers.
"For now. We'll see next time who's the best." Y/n clinked her empty glass with Valkyrie's nodding respectfully as she made a note to get more champagne.
"May the best woman win." Y/n smirked, oblivious to the eyes on her as she walked off toward the bar.
