qifrey doesn't eat vegetables because it's cannibalism LMAOHAHSHA
“woah.”
qifrey looks up from his pot of stew, stopping in the middle of adding his last ingredient, which happened to be some chopped carrots and radishes. something you rarely see him add into his meals. a mental image of a young qifrey suddenly appears within your mind; furrowed eyebrows, puffy cheeks while he chews reluctantly, all the while grumbling under his breath about how wonderful the weather is. like an angry squirrel given an onion instead of nuts.
the said man raised an eyebrow in question.
“what's the matter?”
“i think i may have to get my eyes checked.”
qifrey urgently places the carrots and radishes down on the counter to climb the small step of stairs towards you at the entryway of the kitchen, the lines on his forehead creased in concern.
his hand gingerly tips your chin upward, checking around your irises and sclera, “what happened? do they hurt? are you able to see just fine?”
oh, poor, innocent qifrey.
“unless i'm mistaken, those orange and white things you were about to add in the pot…” you struggle to bite the laugh bubbling from the back of your throat.
“things? you mean, the carrots and radishes? what about them?”
qifrey looks almost lost, struggling to connect the invisible dots behind your thinking. surely your eyes are working properly, right? after all, a witch without their vision is equivalent to a fish without their fins.
“so they really were carrots and radishes.”
your voice wavers, hands clutching his wrist for stability, but being face to face with his worried puppy eyes only makes it harder for you. your lungs feel like giving up, it's a little hard to breathe when you're trying not to laugh.
“yes? are you alright?”
“it's just that,” you pursed your lips together. “you haven't had those ‘horrid' things for so long.”
your struggling ends when his face suddenly turns vexed, watching you lean over from laughter and your shoulders shake from the way it wracks up your whole body. how you find this so funny, he doesn't understand.
“what's that supposed to mean!?”
“it means you hate vegetables so much that seeing you cook something with a few is a rarity.”
olruggio snickers at the way you seem to laugh harder, sometimes wheezing for air when it gets particularly hard to breathe.
“oh my god, i'm about to lose my mind!”
“i think you've lost that way long ago.”
qifrey grumbles embarrassingly, cheeks a little flushed from your and olruggio's teasing. you seem to be having the time of your life though, with the way your knees gave up on you, barely keeping yourself up if he wasn't holding you. perhaps he should just drop you, that will do the trick.
“do tell me you've fed the girls more vegetables than this!?”
“if you don't feed them enough vegetables, you'll be a bad influence and they might not eat those too.”
“i take their nutrition very seriously, if that's what you're inquiring about!”
“i bet they don't know what a broccoli looks like.”
⟢ tags: fluff, olruggio's beard is scratchy so he shaves for you
"Your beard is kind of scratchy."
Olruggio doesn't hear you properly, the first time you say it. To be fair, you mumble it against his mouth between kisses and teeth, and he's too busy trying to kiss you back without panting desperately into your mouth like some lovesick dog—which leaves him very little attention to focus on anything aside from the slow creep of your fingers beneath his shirt, the weight of your body pressing his into the sunbed. Your knee is between his legs, and Olruggio doesn't know whether to give thanks or pray for mercy. Gods.
"Mgh—wuh—what?" he manages when you pull back from him, just far enough for him to catch sight of the thin, glistening string of spit between your lips before it breaks. He nearly misses your second reply all over again. "My—"
"Beard. Goatee, if you want to be specific?" You draw back properly and Olruggio immediately mourns the space between you, the loss of your warmth. He's quickly placated though; your hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb stroking maddeningly slow over the dark, uneven stubble along his jaw. "It sometimes leaves a bit of a rash on my face, after we kiss for too long."
It takes Olruggio a moment to comprehend your words—how can there possibly be such a thing as "kissing for too long"?—but gradually the fog in his head clears just enough for him to focus. So kissing him has been uncomfortable. Perhaps you never said anything because you didn't want to hurt his feelings, but that only makes Olruggio feel guiltier now. He gets so buried in his work that it's simply easier to maintain a beard than to stay clean-shaven. It never once occurred to him how it might feel against your skin.
The next morning, Olruggio wakes before you do. He clambers out of the hammock, painstakingly careful not to rouse you from your sleep, and pads barefoot over to the washbasin. He's about to reach for his facecloth when he catches sight of his own reflection in the small mirror hanging over it. Olruggio stares at it for a long while—the dark smudge of stubble shadowing his jaw, the slightly uneven patch at his chin. The careless scruff of a man who's stopped looking at himself too closely a long time ago.
Hm.
He glances back over his shoulder. You're still sleeping soundly in the hammock, blankets tangled around your bare legs, one arm dangling limply over the side. Fondness blooms quietly in Olruggio's chest, steaming erbe tea steeped in hot water, warmer than the morning sunlight pouring in through the upper window.
Then he turns back to the basin and crouches down to dig beneath the sink, rummaging through old tins and cracked cups until his fingers close around what he's looking for.
It's late morning by the time you awake. The instant your consciousness stirs, you become aware of the reason—the space in the hammock beside you is grievously empty, the blankets lacking in any trace of another's body heat. The loft and workshop, too, are disappointingly Olruggio-absent. So you stretch, expelling your sleepiness from your body with a long yawn, before reaching for your outer robe and climbing down the stairs. Olruggio's probably in the main wing of the atelier, preparing breakfast—though it might be closer to lunch, with the late hour you've awoken.
You shuffle across the catwalk, rubbing sleep from your eyes. Sure enough, when you push open the kitchen door, there he is: standing with his back to you, quietly humming as he whisks a bowl of eggs at the counter. Qifrey had mentioned heading to the Great Hall for some errand yesterday, and you can hear the apprentices' distant voices drifting down from upstairs—something about a mess and who's responsible for it. Perfect.
You creep up behind him—on your tiptoes, quiet as a mouse—before you slip your arms around his waist, pulling him back against you. Olruggio makes a startled sound, nearly dropping the whisk in his hand, and you lean in to kiss the side of his jaw before he can turn around. Your lips seek the familiar scratch of his jaw… but instead of stubble, your mouth meets smooth, bare skin.
Huh?
You scramble back so fast you nearly trip over your own feet, heart hammering in your chest. Is there an intruder in the atelier? Did Qifrey dye his hair black all of a sudden? Did you just accidentally kiss the wrong man? What—
"You scared the heck outta me!" Olruggio yelps, whirling around so quicklly a few flecks of yolk splatter onto the counter, whisk clutched protectively to his chest. His cheeks are stained pink, ripe as rose apples—and without the beard, there's nowhere for the colour to hide. "You—"
"What happened to you?" you cry, lifting a shaking finger to point it at him. "Who—who are you?"
Olruggio freezes for a second. His expression collapses into immediate offense in the next. "What do you mean, who am I?"
"You look like a completely different man!"
"I shaved!"
"You removed half your face!"
"I didn't remove—" He hisses, the nectarine-pink flush on his face deepening to a lurid crimson. Still, his hand flies to his cheek on instinct, as if checking to make sure the missing beard hasn't somehow taken a substantial portion of him with it. "It's the same face!"
You stare at him for a long moment, before you take a step closer. Olruggio immediately glances away, chin ducking in an attempt to shy away from your attention, but still he lets you take his jaw in your hand. You tug his newly bared cheeks this way and that, tilting his face toward the light as if to confirm he isn't some imposter wearing Olruggio's skin.
The same nose, same blue eyes. The same soft, flustered mouth.
"You shaved," you say, disbelief seeping into your voice. "I've never seen you shaved before. What brought this on?"
Olruggio's face only gets redder, somehow.
"You mention you sometimes get a rash when you're kissing me," he mumbles under his breath, refusing to meet your eyes. His gaze stays doggedly fixed on some point past your shoulder—the windowsill, the kettle on the table, anywhere but your face. "I didn't want ya to have to put up with that anymore, so…"
The sentence trails off, swallowed by his embarrassment.
It's hard to do anything but stare at Olruggio. At the flush burning high on his cheeks, the clean shaven jaw he's so clearly self-conscious about. His hand twitches at where it's fallen at his side, as though he wants to reach up and touch it, and your chest fills suddenly with so much warmth it overflows, a bubbling spring that spills forth with no end.
Oh, he's impossible. You tug him in by the waist, ignoring the way Olruggio lets out something suspiciously close to a squawk. Impossible, and so, so lovely. Before he can squirm away you pull him firmly against you and bury your face in his soft chest. This close, you can feel everything—the rapid, rabbit-quick beat of his heart, his stuttering breath.
"Oh, Olly." His name alone feels like an endearment in your mouth. "When I said that, it didn't mean I disliked it. Actually, I'm rather fond of it—it's like a little mark I carry of you, after we've been together."
"Yeah." You smile—soft, fond, perhaps just a little mischievious—before your fingers tug aside the collar of his shirt to rub at the fading crescent of teeth marks sitting low at his collarbone. "Besides, haven't I give you a few marks of my own, too?"
Whatever flush had dissipated from Olruggio's face races back up at once. "That's—that's different—"
You wind your arms around his neck this time, the faint edge of laughter still on your lips as you pull him down towards you again. Olruggio squeezes his eyes frantically shut. Just before your mouths can meet, however…
"I can't." You break away from him, laughing so hard you have to brace a hand against his chest just to stay upright. "I don't think I can stop laughing long enough to kiss you until you get your beard back, Olly."
His eyes go wide in alarm. "But that's going to take weeks—hey. Hey!"
Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.
Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.
TUMBLR ADS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO AUTO-PLAY AUDIO! THAT IS A BUG AND YOU SHOULD REPORT IT!
"This ad is auto-playing audio" is literally on the drop down menu for reporting an ad. Tumblr isn't trying to implement this! Don't protest this "new policy", cause it's not one.
random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to “compute expert-level answers using Wolfram’s breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.” A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that won’t record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses “&” as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that users’ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.
Gibiru’s tagline is “Unfiltered private search” and that’s exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.
MetaGer offers “Privacy Protected Search & Find” through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.
https://www.mojeek.com/
https://wiby.me/ - It’s goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn’t have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it’s the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine
Reminds me of Jason Kander, former Missouri Secretary of State. When he went to the VA hospital to treat his PTSD, he told the nurse that Obama told him he should run for president, and she thought he was delusional.
I think I'm gonna make this my go-to story. It's not the worst I've ever heard, which is an asset because people won't believe you if you tell them the actual bad stuff those people do. And it just perfectly sums up the casual arrogance everyone working in mental health seems to have. The way they treat you as inherently Lesser for being in their care.
If they can't even handle basic, easily verified shit like "I'm a lawyer" they are never going to believe you when you tell them that you know how to manage a condition you've been dealing with for decades better than they can or will.
And then there's Alexander Morris, who was put in a straitjacket, called racial slurs, and denied treatment for his potentially life-threatening heart condition when he told them he was the lead singer of the band he was lead singer of.
The lead singer of the Motown group the Four Tops has filed a federal lawsuit against Ascension Macomb Oakland Hospital in Warren, Michigan,
There are multiple parts of that article that are Jae droppingly awful but this one really gets me:
They almost let this man die in a straight jacket simply because they were too racist. And then when they realize their "mistake", they tell him that his life is worth a 25$ supermarket gift card. Of course he's suing them for $75,000 as he should but like. Can you imagine how insulted he must've been. The 4 Tops were one of the top Motown bands of all time. You can be at the top of the music scene and still, they'll kill you because you're black. And they'll use fake claims about mental illness and "aggression" to justify it
actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.
The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.
Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?
From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.
In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.
hate to break this to you but if you call yourself self aware but you are only aware of your faults and never acknowledge your strengths you are not self aware. you have repackaged your self hatred
dededos
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