My name is Rose and I'm so happy you're visiting my blog. Click the links below to know more about me. For quick reference, I'm 20, go by she/her pronouns, and primarily write for obey me!
A short little mini fic. This explores the questions and feelings between the reader and Astarion as their relationship begins to really blossom after he starts feeding on the reader.
Reddish purple splotches peppered your neck and chest, and you groaned at your reflection. These would be nearly impossible to cover up, especially the punctures from Astarion’s damned teeth that accompanied the bruising. In the heat of the moment, it had been nearly impossible to say no to him as his cool lips traced over every inch of your skin that wasn’t covered by clothing last night. When he came to you days ago, hungry and pathetic, he had begged you to keep his vampiric nature a secret from the others, but how in the hells would you manage that now, looking like this?
Everyone in this camp had secrets- perhaps they would be understanding towards his? You turned to Astarion’s still sleeping form: lying on his back in your tent, on your bedroll no less, hands clasped across his chest, neatly. His chest rose and fell in a slow content rhythm, his belly full of your warm, sweet blood. He seemed so at peace, and your heart stuttered at the sight.
Holding up the small mirror once more, your eyes wandered over each bite. Surely the others wouldn’t turn him away for this, not when he was such an asset too- quick footed and silent, slender quick fingers that picked locks with ease. But now, they had begun to nimbly unlock the trappings of your own mind. He was quickly weaseling his way in, burrowing and carving out a space for himself in your chest; as much as you tried to resist, you found yourself handing him the tools to continue carving. You had let him into your tent, you had let him feed on you, night after night. Even at the risk of your own health, you continued to let him do so. What a sick dog you were, to beg for scraps of affection and then think that you came out on top, a winner. He was using you, in every sense of the word. And yet…
“Darling?”
You set the mirror face down and turned to him. “Yes?” You replied with a false smile. His eyes followed the same path yours had just a moment ago, over each dark indent of his teeth on your soft skin and he frowned.
“I’m sorry, love. I got a bit carried away, didn’t I?” Astarion asked with a down turned smile.
“A bit,” you agreed, nodding. “But I won’t hold it against you.”
“The others are going to notice, if they haven’t already.” He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, attempting in vain to fix his bedhead curls.
“Maybe… Maybe it would be okay for them to know,” you said, the smallest bit hopeful.
“And risk having them stabbing me in the back the second I turned around?” He scoffed.
“I think they’re already suspicious of us- I mean, you haven’t been very subtle coming to my tent almost every night now. They know something is going on here, but-”
“Oh, they all think its just sex, of that I’m sure,” he said, cutting you off. “And, honestly I think I prefer that they assumed that instead.” He stood, stretched his arms over his head, and left your tent to greet the sun that was just barely rising.
The two of you hadn’t even so much as kissed. But now, he’d spent the night in your tent- albeit, he had accidentally fallen asleep here after feeding. Though, a nagging thought paced in the back of your mind. You knew there had to be more here, between you two. The way he had softly moaned into your ear last night, thanking you repeatedly for letting him bite you- drink from you. The way he had cradled your head and let his hips sink down between your thighs before his mouth found it’s place in your neck. It had to mean more, right? Last night had been so different. He had pressed himself so intimately to you- you’d felt his erection grow against your groin as he fed. None of that had happened before. So, what had changed?
Astarion himself was a secret swathed in perfumes and sweet words, but all to cover up what? What was he so desperate to keep to himself? And, would he ever let you in to discover it all? A small bit of you hoped he would. You hoped against the world that he would let someone take down his walls, gently brick by brick. Just as he himself was unwinding your own tangled past, you set out to untangle his own knots and ties. He wasn’t the only one around here that knew how to pick locks, after all.
summary: you had heard you guardian throughout your adventure as they had told you to explore your parasite’s power. now you know who they are, and can’t turn back from becoming half illithid as a consequence. your lover Astarion wasn’t with you, so how will he react?
author’s note: I had actually abandoned the ficwriter life and was happily living life as a ghost profile around here, lurking through likes. and then I went “chaotic good” on my first BG3 playthrough and got sad because now my Tav is half-illithid. and ugly. here’s coping. this is canon in my story now. [this hif is not mine].
Astarion noticed them before they saw him.
They stepped into the edge of the firelight, boots dragging faintly in the dirt, armor dulled with streaks of blood and dust. But it wasn’t the battle-weariness that caught his attention — it was the way the flames glinted off new ridges curling along their temples, the faint, unnatural shimmer beneath their skin. Something alien had settled into them, and it was written in every line of their changed face.
He straightened from where he leaned against a tent pole, his gaze narrowing, not with revulsion but with sharp, deliberate focus. “What happened, my sweet?” he asked, his tone low but certain. “That’s not from the fight.”
Their shoulders tensed. They hesitated, eyes lowering to the ground. The fact that he was even awake caught them off guard, although the whole “githyanki monks come through portal” wasn’t an easy scenario to sleep through, they figured; then relaxing and falling into a dismantled posture. “I… used too much. The powers. The parasite,” they swallowed hard, admitting it defeatedly. “I thought I could stop before it went this far. But there was no turning back. And now—” They exhaled, a bitter edge to the sound. Disgust at their appearance and the perpetuity of the newfound state spitting before they could. “Now I can’t undo it.”
He stepped closer, reading every flicker in their expression, almost as if he was familiarized – not at the new features, but at the self-hatred. “And you don’t like this.”
“No.” Their answer came quiet, but firm. Heavier than they expected it to come out.
For a heartbeat, he just looked at them. Not the change, not the ridges or the shimmer — them. The same set to their jaw, the same stubborn spark in their eyes. He knew that look far too well.
“You see yourself as ruined,” he said at last. “Something you never asked to be. Something you can’t reverse.”
They didn’t answer, but the silence was confirmation enough.
He moved again, slow, closing the space between them until the flickering firelight painted them both in gold and shadow. His voice softened, though it kept its edge of certainty. “You know… you’re not the only one. I’ve been half a monster for two centuries. Part of me stolen, twisted into something else. And yet—” His fingers brushed their jaw, cool and careful. “It never stopped me from being me. It never made me unworthy. At least it’s what someone’s been stubborn enough to prove me.”
Their breath caught, the knot in their chest loosening just slightly under the weight of his gaze.
“Now,” he continued, his lips curving in a small, knowing smile, “you and I… we’re simply two of a kind.”
“Half monsters,” they murmured, semi-satisfied. Pampered, but still bittersweet.
“Exactly.” His smile deepened, something warm and wicked all at once. “And I’ve always preferred monsters anyway, darling.”
They let out a shaky breath, the corner of their mouth twitching upward despite themselves.
He didn’t step back. Instead, he stayed beside them, sat by the fire that cackled softly in the silence between them. After a moment, the pale elf tilted his head, feigning casual thought. “Besides,” he added, “I’m fairly certain you’re still the most devastatingly attractive creature in this camp. And I’ve had centuries to judge.”
That coaxed a real smile from them — small, but genuine.
“There it is,” he murmured in a deeper voice again, off-character, pleased. Then, with the easy arrogance only he could manage, he offered his arm. “Come. Let’s go to the tent before I’m forced to start complimenting you in earnest. It’s exhausting work.”
They took upon his offer, the warmth from the fire lingered, chasing away the last of the chill in their chest. He stayed close, not quite touching, but near enough that his presence felt like a quiet vow: whatever they had become, they wouldn’t face it alone.
"Invenium via! Shit. Inveni-UM viA! Oh for goodness'-- INVENIUM VI--"
"It's alright-- deep breath. Now, repeat after me, Invenium vi--"
"INVENIUM VIA!"
"Please lower your voice, you are frightening the books."
"inVEniUM vIA!"
Gale and you were being watched from a distance. Stars shot above, embers pillared up into the breeze, and the tops of the trees whispered to each other. But nature's bounty and dinner remained, just so; ignored.
Karlach winced as you stumbled and cursed. "I'm sure Gale's a great teacher, but--"
"One cannot teach the unteachable," Minthara scoffed, not looking up from the blade she was sharpening.
Minsc barked with laughter. "Funny! My teachers once said same for Minsc. Small world, no?"
The charade continued. Your failure to master the most basic Misty Step had set even your party's finest battles on the back foot. It would not do. You had to be taught.
But it went on. And on. And on. Owls hooted. The undergrowth rustled. Lae'zel twitched. Wyll sighed. Halsin cupped his mouth and jaw, anguish across his brow. Shadowheart smirked into her wine. But Astarion snapped, and whipped like a rapier.
"Oh for the love of-- just give her the bloody amulet! And she either Misty Steps, or dies trying! Gods. I've seen more than my fair share of tragic people, but this really takes the cake. So shut up. I wish to enjoy my vinegar in peace."
You looked back at Astarion, dishevelled and pathetically wounded. "No, I want to do it properly! I can't just rely on-- on-- on tricks and trinkets!"
"She's right," Gale hummed. "If she can't do it alone, she's certainly not competent enough to be unleashed upon temperamental magical artefacts. The Weave--"
"I'll weave you in a minute--"
"Now, now," smiled Halsin, approaching with placating palms. "Teachers and students alike require breaks to shine their brightest. Gale, allow me."
Hesitant, but prickly with tested patience, Gale retreated, walking backwards towards the party with his eyes fixed on you and Halsin. Halsin smiled down at you, as if you weren't a flushed, sweaty wreck.
"Perhaps if you focus on the physicality of the magic, over the technicality, you shall find your way."
Halsin's broad hands smoothed your shoulders down. His foot hooked behind your leg, sweeping it back, until you stood as if you were about to begin a sprint. The party watched on, holding their breath. Halsin nodded, satisfied. He stood beside you.
"Wonderful. Now...imagine you are floating, like a feather off a ledge, and speak the incantation, and--"
"Invenium via!"
You disappeared, in a flash of blue light. Halsin's thigh slap and laugh rang through the campsite. Shadowheart gasped and pointed, her wine slopping down her wrist. Wyll clapped. Astarion laid back, his smirk rueful beneath the arm over his eyes.
And then silence. Silence that remained. Silence that thickened. Silence that settled. Gale caught Halsin's eye, and saw the same dubious horror reflected back at him.
"Uh...Tav?"
Silence. Stillness. An outcry.
"Oi, magic man! Where's she gone?"
"I-- I don't know, I--"
"She belongs to the wilds, now. If she means to survive, she will have to tear her enemies limb from limb with hands and teeth."
"Tav! Gods, I didn't mean to-- Oak Father preserve her--"
"Gosh, and I rather liked that one. Yes, we rather liked that one, didn't we, boy? Oh, well."
"Awake with you, Boo! The hunt begins!"
Astarion sighed, knocking back his wine. "I'll have some posters printed in the morning. Get people to check their cellars, et cetera. Stop fretting. Nobody else will want to keep her. She eats too much."
pairing: halsin x reader, they/them pronouns, no use of y/n
rating: explicit
beta: @avarkriss
summary:
Looking up, your breath caught slightly. The man approaching the counter was tall—very tall—with broad shoulders that strained against a well-worn flannel shirt in deep green, the knees of his canvas work pants stained with earth. His brown hair fell just past his collar, half of it pulled back away from his face to reveal tributaries of scars that began at his temple and reappeared on his chin. But it was his eyes that made you momentarily forget where you were—hazel shot through with gold flecks, the color of the first leaves to usher in autumn.
He moved with a quiet confidence that seemed to settle the air around him, and you caught the faint scent of something outdoorsy—juniper and pine needles—as he approached.
🌠 ─── the jupiter-uranus conjucntion is upon us so here is a reading to cover how the power and energy of this astrological alignment will affect you.
🌠 ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.
🌠 ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.
୨୧ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.
donations. games/events. feedback.
pile one
how it will affect you
pile one, with the page of pentacles i'm seeing that this will affect you academically or or career wise. you will feel a spring of inspiration for learning things. if you've been procrastinating tasks or studying, you will experience a refreshing perspective on studying and completing tasks. you will identify your end goals, gain clarity on your manifestations. it could be a project also, or a hobby. something you've had in mind for a long time but just pushed the thought away. you keep saying i'll do it eventually but that hasn't happened yet. with this conjunction, you will shift from thought to action, you may even be starting something entirely new, but it does feel like learning and education is involved. you want success in the long term and you will realise the steps you need to take to achieve that. the shift the conjunction will bring you will push you towards reaching your goals through learning and motivation, and excitement about education.
messages for you
the messages are about opportunities coming your way. you may have missed some significant opportunities in the past. maybe you're missing them now. i see you are not recognising when the perfect opportunity is right in front of you. so when you do recognise an opportunity, you wish it would be better. but you already missed the better one. pay more attention to the chances coming your way, and take action to seize them. you will face a hard time filled with lack and instability if you do not focus and take the opportunities when they come.
how to benefit the most
you're hitting hard times. this might not be relevant to all but i do see loss, scarcity. this can mean something material, like money or a job. but it can also mean something more spiritual and personal, such as losing faith or trust in someone you love. it's disappointing, right? the conjunct here wants you to use this as motivation. every loss can be turned into a gain. try to see the silver linings because if you focus on the negatives, you will only get negatives. the work with the power of the conjunct, open your mind to the possibilities. find the good in the bad because it does exist. accept that it's okay to lose and feel like you have nothing. but what's not okay is to simper away in your self-pity and give up on trying to find happiness. to benefit the most from this alignment, you need to change your mindset. stop being the victim of your life and start being the hero! every hero goes through hardships, don't they? so get up, dust yourself off and keep trying.
pile two
how will it affect you
the energy of this alignment can cause you to be overwhelmed with many tasks and activities. it may make you busier than usual. you'll be rushing from one end to the other, and have very little breaks. but the thing is, you keep telling yourself it's fine. while you may have balance, it can still feel difficult to maintain. i think this conjunct will give you the spurt of energy to be able to handle it all. alternatively, it is the conjunct that is making you like this. so many things to do and not enough time to do them, but you still want to. you will feel uncomfortable sitting still, so you need something to do. you may even be torn balancing between different areas of your life, for example, your work and your relationship. however, this conjunct will prove to you just how capable and resourceful you are. that despite the overbearing nature of it, you are still adaptable and flexible to get through everything to the best of your ability. you will even surprise yourself. when everything has calmed down, you with think: i don't know how i did it but i'm proud of myself!
messages for you
you may have some unrealistic dreams. you may desire them so much. but whatever it is, you need to open up to the possibility that it is simply not meant for you. this is particularly if you are an idealistic person. you can achieve emotional fulfilment even when it is not picture perfect how you imagine it to be. don't over indulge at your own expense on things that are not feasible. you need to be more grounded and honest with what is actually possible. but don't worry, you will still find happiness even then.
how to benefit the most
get in touch with your romantic side. take yourself out on a date, or share a date with a special someone (eg partner, friend, sibling). just have a fun relaxing date spending time with someone you love. if there are new opportunities or positions coming your way, don't be afraid to jump right in. get involved with your present, appreciate what is going on around you at this very moment. stop focusing so much on what could be, and appreciate the now. the you from ten years ago probably can't imagine where you are right now. so stop worrying, because the you right now can't even fathom where you'll be in ten more years. leave it up to fate to lead you where you're meant to be and enjoy life as it is in this moment.
pile three
how it will affect you
there is so much energy here. the conjunct will open your throat chakra, you will have so much to say, to think, to express. there is just so much to be said. you might be more talkative that usual, your mind might be busy running on overdrive. you may feel inclined to express yourself more with clothes or hobbies etc. you will feel more independent and in touch with yourself. you will embody confidence and be more outgoing than usual. you may come off a bit pushy to others. but your inner instincts are telling you to be courageous. your overall approach to life will be energetic. this boost of confidence and energy from the conjunct can go both ways though, so make sure you make decisions carefully. and since you will be so bubbly, you may often crash. so better take care of yourself mentally.
messages for you
you may have regrets and disappointments. but you also have so much to look forward to! you cannot undo what has been done. but you can forgive and let go. forgive yourself, forgive others. learn that peace is incomparably better that holding onto the past. loss is painful, but it can either lead to rotted roots or a beautiful blooming flower. it is your choice to decide how you want to end up.
how to benefit the most
plan. plan, plan, plan. have your details in order. everything needs a plan and sure, not everything goes according to plan but if you have a plan, it will still work out better than if you didn't. don't get used to going with the flow. start adding some structure and order into your life. also, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. this conjunct is the perfect time to embrace new change. so be open to new experiences and get out there. do things you're scared of. say yes to the thing you think you're not good at. expand your horizons and make your life all the more successful and richer.
pile four
how it will affect you
you will embody that masculine energy. you may find yourself in leadership positions, being a guide to others. people looking up to you. and you will feel quite natural in this role. even if you have not been a leader before, you may be forced into this position with no other choice and you will find that you are pretty good at being a leader. you may overall feel more ambition with life, you may strive for more leadership opportunities. you may also become someone who inspires and influences others. it could be something as simple as other people taking inspiration from your style to being the leader in a very important project. you will feel more passionate than usual, and may be pushed out of your comfort zone for whatever reason. but you will be stern and motivated. you won't step down and you will deal will face any problem head on.
message for you
you are or will be surrounded by abundance and wealth. some of your manifestations will come into your life soon. or, you may lose your need of "wanting" and simply learn to be happy with what you have. your hard work will pay off and the rewards will be reaped. everything is coming together, be proud of how hard you worked for this!
how to benefit the most
harmony is so important for you to not lose track. this conjunct will give you a boost of energy, but that doesn't mean you should overdo it and burn out on the third day of trying. take it easy and find your balance. stability is key. prioritise your health and happiness because it will keep you going. celebrate everything, big and small. every little thing that happens to you, everything you do. even celebrate others. happiness and celebration will serve you well. visit home, your family, your friends. you will feel welcomed and supported, search for those feelings because for one reason or another, it will benefit you.
summary: the revelation that you might be responsible for lucifer's lost memories weighs heavy on your mind.
tags: lucifer x gn!reader, hurt/comfort, spoilers for chapter 37 of the original obey me!
It was a frightening feeling, knowing the three worlds were collapsing in on themselves because of you. Because of some power you had no control over. It felt like a joke when Lord Diavolo had suggested it, you were still just a human, despite all your connections. Having control over them didn’t mean a thing, you yourself weren’t powerful; demons, angels, sorcerers all had their power from within, you had to rely on others to protect you.
All this so-called power and what does your body do with it? Destroy.
Not only the three worlds collapsing in on itself; but your own little world here in the Devildom. The world you created through pushing your way into the demon’s hearts; giving yourself wholeheartedly to them that were dismissive of you at best, cruel to you at worst. Over time, they opened themselves up to you, but helping to fix their problems was draining in a way you had never experienced before. Back then, you often wondered what they saw you as: a therapist, a dead sister or a friend?
You knew now of their love for you but…
Pushing a hard reset on everything you had worked to accomplish was painful. Even if it was just losing your pacts, they were an eternal bond that was proof of your capability.
As if all that wasn’t bad enough, they were slowly losing their memories. Lucifer had already lost his, who’s to say Mammon wasn’t next? The one person who has always been on your side, hurt because of you.
After you had bid Lucifer goodnight, you carry your tired and aching body up to your room. When Diavolo had hugged you earlier you had nearly collapsed. Such a gentle gesture was like tapping at fractured glass. Now you couldn’t ignore the swell of emotions within your chest, tightening like a vice as you traipse out onto the balcony.
The cool air of the balcony stings against the tears forming in your eyes, chilling to the bone. You fall into one of the chairs out there; you can’t recall the amount of times you and someone else had gazed up at the stars together.
It makes you numb for a moment, but then the reality that the stars weren’t out that night hits you; were they hiding from you? Scared that you might pluck them down one by one?
You pull your knees to your chest, unable to control the tears that fall freely, now that you were alone.
A knock on the balcony door. You grit your teeth, trying to wipe your eyes of tears, it didn’t help, you were gasping for air at this point.
Who is it that knocks?
Lucifer opens the double doors without any acknowledgement from you, as if the first knock was just a courtesy he was affording you. The night air feels familiar in a way he doesn’t understand, like he had been here many times but couldn’t quite place when. It was frustrating, stumbling through the dark when it seemed all you needed was someone to reassure you. He knew he wanted to be that person.
And then he sees you, so small, trying to control your frantic breathing. You look up to him with watery eyes, he feels a part of him start to choke up. Just one look from you and he feels himself soften.
Did you truly have this effect on his other self?
“What’s wrong?” He asks gently, cheeks flushed as he kneels down in front of you. Maybe his other self would cradle you in his arms, he feels the itch under his skin to do something more, but he settles for not crossing a boundary he wasn’t sure of. “You spend all night comforting me, and then leave to spend the night alone?”
His body might know you like a lover, but what about his mind?
“I’m sorry,” the apology leaves your lips before you can think. Lucifer brushes his thumb against your knee. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
His grip tightens. “You’re never a bother to me." For a moment he sounds like himself again. “I may not remember anything concrete but… I know the man in this body loves you. More than anything.”
You blink back tears, “I know. I know.”
“So, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Lucifer pouts, “is it about the…? Your powers?”
You take a moment to compose yourself, breathing deeply through sore lungs. “Yes… I’m destroying so many things and I can’t help it. Even you losing your memories is my fault. Aren’t you mad at me? I’m destroying everything you love!” You sob harder, unable to hold back.
“It’s through no fault of your own,” his eyes look deeply into yours. “In fact, if what they say is true, I believe we have some blame.”
A pause. “But if it wasn’t for me-“
Lucifer smiles, leaning up to cradle you in his arms. “I have no memories of this world. Destroy it if you’d like.” His fingers trace through your hair. “Just let me hold you for a minute. Everything will be alright.”
• Lucifer is the type of boyfriend who is both patient and supportive. He understands that sometimes, people need time alone and doesn’t force the issue.
• He enjoys showering his loved ones with affection, as well as surprising them with little gifts and gestures now and then.
• He puts their happiness and safety above his own, and he always seeks out ways to make them feel safe and loved. But, when it comes to defending those he cares about, he’s a force to be reckoned with.
• he does not tolerate the mistreatment of those close to him, and will go to any lengths to protect them. In short, Lucifer is a dedicated, considerate and loving partner.
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ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎
• Lucifer is a true lover of pleasurable experiences. He's passionate and playful in bed, and he enjoys teasing and playing with his partner's mind, body and senses.
• He knows how to get the best out of his partner, and he likes to take his time exploring and enjoying the moment. When it comes to pleasing his partner, he goes beyond the limits of comfort and always aims for total satisfaction. Lucifer is a true perfectionist when it comes to making his lovers smile in every possible way.
• He also has an intense and passionate side that comes out in intimate moments, where he craves a deep emotional connection with his partner. He's a sensual lover who likes to explore and deepen the passion between them, and likes to try out new things and explore every aspect of physical and emotional intimacy.
• Lucifer is an extremely passionate and erotic lover, who enjoys taking his time when it comes to exploring his partner's body and psyche. He enjoys pleasure in all its forms.