hold my hand, please

adult | no discourse, idgaf | sideblog | 18+ followers only pls

[rotteninpandemonium]

My name is Rot

{new pinned post bc y not?}

this is a side blog, first and foremost

secondly, it gets wacky here

no minors!

this sideblog is for me to share and express thoughts, feelings, and such that I don't really want on my main blog, mostly bc of the theme generally.

General TW / CW for this blog

Interests include: vampirism, bl00d, femdoms, posic and objectum, knives, pain, anguish, partialism (for me it's hands, shoulders, teeth, and legs), and more

Dislikes include: anti-k!nk, ED Blogs (especially ones that encourage it), discourse, p0rnb0ts, racists/homophobes/transphobes/the usual suspects, abuser apologists, etc.

Just a second Warning!! -- I will post/rb things with dark themes!!

I will try my best to tag things appropriately!

[rotteninpandemonium]

update: i may have forgotten (once again) that i do in fact have a uterus and go through menstruation.

oopsie

[rotteninpandemonium]

i just want to be loved

for fuck sake is that so hard?

why am i not number 1?

[rotteninpandemonium]

uh oh spaghetti-o!

feeling unloved and triggered

uh oh!

feeling existential and scared

oh boy oh no!

it's happening again

[rotteninpandemonium]

i think i have accidentally triggered myself. i was wanting to watch creepy (like just lightly creepy, like those obviously fake "glitches in the matrix" videos) stuff on tiktok and ended up in a rabbit hole and of course, as tiktok tends to do, everything is related to sex trafficking and CSA

little known fact about me, i may or may not (i do not know for certain as my memory is incredibly terrible) have been SA'd as a child (i have had flashbacks, including somatic flashblacks)

anyway, i feel gross listening to almost any music or watching things related to tv shows or anything, especially if there are kids in it, and i think i know what was the main trigger

will not share here as I do not want anyone triggering themselves, either by accident or on purpose

i am kinda afraid to go to sleep, afraid of having nightmares

[rotteninpandemonium]

i'm gonna go rabid next time i see her

she knows what she is doing to me

and i can tell she loves to tease me

which is great bc i love to be teased

i want to scream and bite and gnash and gnaw

[rotteninpandemonium]

im looking at her wishlist and imagining her wearing items that i will buy her and i am getting so excited and overwhelmed i want to vomit /pos

jesus christ

[rotteninpandemonium]

i keep dreaming about her. it's been almost every night for like at least a week. the dreams are not always sexual, sometimes they are just soft and wholesome. I woke up wanting desperately for her fingers in my mouth.

i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her i want her

[elaineraexx-deactivated20230929]

sorry i wasn’t listening, i was too busy thinking about your hands around my throat.

[rotteninpandemonium]

i need her to spit on me

[rotteninpandemonium]

my girl wants to put me in a cage (like a dog cage, not chastity)

i got that puppydog rizz

[rotteninpandemonium]

girls who play guitar and have tattoos on their hands and short fingernails make me short circuit

[rotteninpandemonium]

im def the type to suck strap

im so fucking eager to please that i beg to be used

ffs this tension is killing me

[rotteninpandemonium]

im horny and screaming oh my fucking god please please please please for the love of god or satan or who tf ever please shit shit shit

[intolunarorbit]

[queerhoneybunny-deactivated2024]

What I say: you have nice hands <3

What I mean: I want you to finger me until I’m a sloppy begging mess

[rotteninpandemonium]

what if we got nosebleeds when horny/excited/etc in IRL like they do in anime

i wonder what would be different in this world if that was the commonplace