started making it. had a breakdown. bon appétit

🖤🕸️ 🍣🎃👻 & 💚 🔮🃏🎭🧿&🧜🏻‍♀️🪲☂️🍭🌙 &🍏🐍 🧩🎂

[rottenpumpkin13]

never going to shut up about miniroth

[rottenpumpkin13]

NEVER SHUTTING UP ABOUT BABY ANGEAL EITHER BITCHES HAHAAAA

[birdblacksocialclub]

Funny how the new installment is called Revelation......if only there were something else within the compilation that had a similar, mirroring name.....

It’s so funny right??? You can’t have the end without referencing the beginning after all…

Whatever could they be possibly be hinting at …

[rottenpumpkin13]

Kinda makes me think of G—

[rottenpumpkin13]

Unfollow me I have my annotated Bible open and have reached flow state

Revelation 17

17 And there came one of the seven angels which had the seven vials, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters:

2 With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication.

3 So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.

4 And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:

5 And upon her forehead was a name written, Mystery, Babylon The Great, The Mother Of Harlots And Abominations Of The Earth.

6 And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.

7 And the angel said unto me, Wherefore didst thou marvel? I will tell thee the mystery of the woman, and of the beast that carrieth her, which hath the seven heads and ten horns.

8 The beast that thou sawest was, and is not; and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit, and go into perdition: and they that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names were not written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, when they behold the beast that was, and is not, and yet is.

9 And here is the mind which hath wisdom. The seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sitteth.

10 And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a short space.

11 And the beast that was, and is not, even he is the eighth, and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition.

12 And the ten horns which thou sawest are ten kings, which have received no kingdom as yet; but receive power as kings one hour with the beast.

13 These have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the beast.

14 These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful.

15 And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues.

16 And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore, and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh, and burn her with fire.

17 For God hath put in their hearts to fulfil his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled.

18 And the woman which thou sawest is that great city, which reigneth over the kings of the earth.

okay so the woman drunk with the blood of the saints is jenova who is sustained by consuming the lifestream

“when i saw her i wondered with great admiration” which is EXACTLY how shinra and professor hojo reacted when they dug up her corpse they were in absolute awe of this cetra instead of seeing her as a parasite and then verse 8 “the beast that thou sawest was and is not and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit... they shall wonder when they behold the beast that was and is not and yet is” which could be sephiroth because he “was” alive then he “is not” after cloud threw him into the mako reactor but he “yet is” because his spirit refuses to dissolve in the lifestream and he literally ascends out to terrorize everyone again and everyone is shook because he’s supposed to be dead and then — verse 11: “the beast that was and is not even he is the eighth and is of the seven” the seven heads are the mountains where the woman sits which could be the sectors of midgar but I haven’t untangled that bit yet ,,, but sephiroth is the eighth king meaning he is born directly FROM the seven but is his own ultimate entity and then verse 12 and 13 talk about the ten horns being kings who have “no kingdom as yet” but “have one mind and shall give their power and strength unto the beast” which kinda describes the SOLDIERs and the black cloaks who don’t have titles or kingdoms of their own but they possess power in their minds are completely hijacked by the reunion instinct giving all their strength and physical bodies to sephiroth so he can manifest and then verse 14: “these shall make war with the lamb and the lamb shall overcome them” where the lamb is aerith/cloud/the party fighting back with the white materia and then verse 15: “the waters where the whore sitteth are peoples and multitudes” which is the lifestream itself because the lifestream is made of the souls of all the people and nations that jenova is corrupting from the inside but VERSE 16: “the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast these shall hate the whore and shall make her desolate and naked and shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire” could mean ,,,, nope that’s insane theory territory, ignore me

[rottenpumpkin13]

Guys I’m about to be so insufferable I’m so sorry

[rottenpumpkin13]

My brain rn: gaia the planet is god/the omnipotent lifestream and aerith is john in this scenario because she was granted the ultimate vision of alternate timeline(s)/ the future from the planet itself of how the world ends while sephiroth is the antichrist/the beast rising from the abyss born from the dna of the false prophet jenova who is basically the whore of babylon who once used shapeshifting illusions to mimic loved ones and mayhaps maybe perhaps masquerade as a benevolent goddess to trick the cetra, the chosen people, into their own extinction and now sephiroth is trying to summon meteor which is literally the wormwood star (Revelation 8:10-11: “The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky”) meant to poison the earth so he can absorb the lifestream and ascend to the throne of god while his safer sephiroth form is a seraphim angel and the giant weapons waking up to purge humanity are just the angels of wrath, seven being tasked to pour out god’s wrath, unleashing the plagues of the apocalypse because humanity became a cancer to the planet and shinra completely misinterpreted the promised land which is supposed to be the ““new jerusalem”” paradise as just some physical place to exploit for mako energy but,,, LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Midgar/Shinra after the meteor comes to mind:

Revelation 18:9-11

9 “And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived wantonly with her, shall bewail her and lament for her when they shall see the smoke of her burning,

10 standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas! Alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour has thy judgment come.’

11 “And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her, for no man buyeth their merchandise any more:

[rottenpumpkin13]

I PROMISE I’LL STOP (I won’t) BUT the black cloaks all having numbers tattooed on them being reminiscent of the number of the beast from revelation where everyone is forced to take the mark of the beast to show they belong to it like they are just walking physical manifestations of sephiroths mark

Or it could be Jenova cells in this scenario,,,, WAIT YEAH JENOVA CELLS ,lots to think about

[rottenpumpkin13]

Guys I’m about to be so insufferable I’m so sorry

[rottenpumpkin13]

My brain rn: gaia the planet is god/the omnipotent lifestream and aerith is john in this scenario because she was granted the ultimate vision of alternate timeline(s)/ the future from the planet itself of how the world ends while sephiroth is the antichrist/the beast rising from the abyss born from the dna of the false prophet jenova who is basically the whore of babylon who once used shapeshifting illusions to mimic loved ones and mayhaps maybe perhaps masquerade as a benevolent goddess to trick the cetra, the chosen people, into their own extinction and now sephiroth is trying to summon meteor which is literally the wormwood star (Revelation 8:10-11: “The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky”) meant to poison the earth so he can absorb the lifestream and ascend to the throne of god while his safer sephiroth form is a seraphim angel and the giant weapons waking up to purge humanity are just the angels of wrath, seven being tasked to pour out god’s wrath, unleashing the plagues of the apocalypse because humanity became a cancer to the planet and shinra completely misinterpreted the promised land which is supposed to be the ““new jerusalem”” paradise as just some physical place to exploit for mako energy but,,, LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Midgar/Shinra after the meteor comes to mind:

Revelation 18:9-11

9 “And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived wantonly with her, shall bewail her and lament for her when they shall see the smoke of her burning,

10 standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas! Alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour has thy judgment come.’

11 “And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her, for no man buyeth their merchandise any more:

[rottenpumpkin13]

Guys I’m about to be so insufferable I’m so sorry

[rottenpumpkin13]

My brain rn: gaia the planet is god/the omnipotent lifestream and aerith is john in this scenario because she was granted the ultimate vision of alternate timeline(s)/ the future from the planet itself of how the world ends while sephiroth is the antichrist/the beast rising from the abyss born from the dna of the false prophet jenova who is basically the whore of babylon who once used shapeshifting illusions to mimic loved ones and mayhaps maybe perhaps masquerade as a benevolent goddess to trick the cetra, the chosen people, into their own extinction and now sephiroth is trying to summon meteor which is literally the wormwood star (Revelation 8:10-11: “The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky”) meant to poison the earth so he can absorb the lifestream and ascend to the throne of god while his safer sephiroth form is a seraphim angel and the giant weapons waking up to purge humanity are just the angels of wrath, seven being tasked to pour out god’s wrath, unleashing the plagues of the apocalypse because humanity became a cancer to the planet and shinra completely misinterpreted the promised land which is supposed to be the ““new jerusalem”” paradise as just some physical place to exploit for mako energy but,,, LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Guys I’m about to be so insufferable I’m so sorry

[rottenpumpkin13]

REVELATION

[rottenpumpkin13]

I swear the laws of physics change when you’re waiting for something exciting and time moves slow as shit. If I had a tooth extraction scheduled instead of waiting for the SGF, it’d be the 6th already.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sephiroth trying to beat the BDSM outfit allegations

Sephiroth: “Why? Because I wear black? Because I prefer leather? Because the SOLDIER uniform happens to use functional straps and buckles? Or is this another one of those accusations built entirely on speculation and gossip?”

Genesis: “No, it’s because you walk around with your chest out and your waist cinched like a nobleman’s mistress.”

Sephiroth: “.....”

[rottenpumpkin13]

What if there's a boat that is rather famous for knowing the best routes to travel to other islands including the secret ones that are hidden vacation treasures.

The only problem is that the new tour guide and captain of the boat is extremely superstitious and he refuses to allow red haired people, whistlers, women, priests, flat footed people, eggshells and bananas into the boat as all are old signs of misfortune.

How do both Turks and Soldiers handle this issue?

Tseng: Captain, I understand you have preferences about your passengers, but we’re already working with limited personnel and everyone present is necessary for the extraction. I’m asking for some flexibility here.

Cid: Fine. But anyone who fits my no-board list stays back. Bad luck is bad luck and I don’t negotiate with the sea.

Tseng: Understood. What’s on the list?

Cid: For starters, no redheads.

*Reno, Cissnei and Genesis all start protesting simultaneously*

Reno: Okay hang on, what if my red isn’t natural? And I just dye it red?

Cid: Doesn’t matter, red hair is red hair. Also no women.

Cissnei: OH HOW REFRESHING—

*Reno holds her back*

Reno, steering her away: We’re gonna go make protest signs! This isn’t over!

*They leave, Genesis has not moved*

Cid: You too, red.

Genesis: My hair is auburn, which is a warm brown with red undertones . They are categorically different. You’ll find that the maritime superstition specifically references red hair, not brown-adjacent tones, so by the actual letter of your own rule, I qualify to board.

Cid: ...Alright, that’s fair. Get on.

Genesis, looking upward: Goddess, I offer thee this moment of gratitude. May your light guide us safely across these waters, may the winds—

Cid: Nope, nevermind, can’t allow priests.

Genesis: THIS IS RELIGIOUS PERSECUTION. FIRST MY HAIR, NOW MY FAITH—

Tseng: Genesis, leave! Avoid conflict for once in your life and go stay with the others.

*Genesis storms off*

Tseng: Alright! There goes three of my most skilled personnel. May we board now, or is there more superstition I should be aware of?

Cid: My full list is redheads, women, priests, flat-footed people, whistlers, eggshells, and bananas. Anyone clear of all that boards fine.

Tseng: Alright, well nobody else has red hair, nobody is a woman, nobody is clergy, nobody has eggshells and bananas, and nobody is whistling. So it appears we’re all clear.

Sephiroth, staring at the sky: Interesting. That looks to be a rare sapphire gull.

*Zack comes sprinting up from the direction of the gift shop*

Zack: You will not believe what they have in there! The limited edition Costan Chocobo figurine collection! I got the last—woah!

*He trips over nothing and lands at Cid’s feet*

Cid, pointing: Flat feet. He’s out.

Tseng: But that was merely a stumble! His feet aren’t flat! Zack, remove your shoes and show him your feet!

Zack: For free?

Tseng: ZACK.

Zack: It’s honestly fine, I’ll just hang out with the others at the smoothie bar.

Tseng, pinching the bridge of his nose: Where’s Angeal? I only have him and Sephiroth left now.

Zack: He’s at the local marketplace. Apparently they’re having a deal on eggs and bananas, so he’s buying them in bulk!

Cid: I don’t see this Angeal guy anywhere, but he’s not allowed on board either.

Tseng: FINE. Fine! Then it’ll just be me and Sephiroth. May we board now??

*Sephiroth whistles a bird call at the sky*

Tseng: SEPHIROTH

Sephiroth: What? I’m just wondering if it’s really the rare sapphire gull. If I can get a response, I can confirm the subspecies.

Cid: He’s out too.

*Sephiroth breathes a sigh of relaxation and makes a beeline to the nearest beach chair*

Tseng: .....

[rottenpumpkin13]

Random idea I had earlier today: a bull being transported up to Hojo's lab (Gotta be for something totally ethical, right?) breaks out of its container and is now loose on the 49th floor. All personnel are instructed that the beast must be recaptured unharmed. How much chaos ensues?

*The bull is angrily speeding toward a flock of SOLDIERs. Zack stands still*

Angeal: ZACK, MOVE! RUN!

Zack: No no no, wait! Back in Gongaga, bulls are sacred! They’re related to Kujata, and have an ancient spiritual connection to people of pure intent. The bull senses things, Angeal, it reads your spirit.

*He drops to both knees, spreads his arms wide, and faces the charging bull with peace and understanding*

Zack: Look, at that. It’s reading me, it’s looking right into my soul and it can see that I’m pure of heart! It sees the sincerity, it sees that I come from the same place it does spiritually.

*The bull does not stop. The bull takes Zack’s stance as an act of disrespect and accelerates angrily*

Zack, hand outstretched: Shhh, it’s okay—

Sephiroth, on top of the vending machine: Don’t stop him, it’ll be religiously insensitive.

Angeal: GOD I HATE THIS JOB SO MUCH

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sending this A little late for MerMay but AGCZS are being hunted by Sirens. Who is the first willing to follow the song and why is it Sephiroth?

*Genesis is actively using his entire body weight to restrain Angeal, while Cloud has Zack in a chokehold to keep him from sprinting into the ocean as the hypnotic siren song echoes across the shore*

Sephiroth: I genuinely fail to see why this is an issue. We’re all highly trained operatives, more than ready for warfare. Succumbing to the sirens cannot be that bad.

Genesis: Have you completely lost your mind?? You absolute fool, sirens are historically documented to lure men to the depths to be devoured! It’s a classic metaphor for succumbing to base desires!

Sephiroth: So? A bit of attempted drowning wouldn’t be enough to sway us. Besides, I frequently hear a disembodied, extraterrestrial voice whispering ancient prophecies in my mind, telling me to return to Nibelheim, eliminate Cloud’s mother, use his fragile psyche like a puppet on a string, and burn the village down in a fit of rage to honor my true purpose. This is actually a pleasant alternative. Listen, it has a lovely rhythm.

Genesis: Well, this is entirely different! The sirens use an auditory enchantment that—

Cloud: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO IGNORE WHAT HE JUST SAID!?

Genesis: I CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME

[rottenpumpkin13]

Angeal is trying to teach the cadets how to do a proper chokehold and using other restraining moves on the enemy as well as holding back one's strength to not harm delicate people like women or children when it comes to rescuing them.

The practice dummies are piling up in the corner as the day goes.

Sephiroth: I don’t understand why you can’t just requisition replacement dummies from the Turks. They have a surplus, I’ve seen their storage.

Angeal: Because by the time they go back, they’ll be in the same condition as the ones we broke. Lazard is already questioning my equipment budget, and I refuse to have another conversation with him about damage to training materials.

Sephiroth: So your proposed solution is to use me as a practice...dummy.

Angeal: I prefer the term helping hand! I’d ask Zack to do it, but I’d spend more time managing the paperwork from his injuries than teaching, and I need someone who won’t buckle when a cadet with three weeks of training gets their hands on them. You’re the only viable option.

Sephiroth: ...Fine. Let’s get this over with.

Angeal, to the class: Right! Only one person managed to get through every exercise without incident this week, so we’ll start with a demonstration. Strife, front and centre.

Cloud: Yes sir!

Angeal: Sephiroth here is your practice partner. I want to see the restraint and inhibition sequence. Controlled hold, controlled pressure, no damage. Just like we went over. Go ahead.

*Sephiroth rolls his eyes as Cloud restrains him*

Angeal: Good! See that, everyone, look at the arm placement, look at how Strife has distributed the pressure so the hold is effective without being harmful. Now the chokehold. Full demonstration, Strife, go ahead!

Sephiroth: Angeal, is this even right? The poor boy is half my size. He cannot possibly—khkhk—*choking noises*

*Cloud has him in a strong chokehold*

Angeal: Perfect! Everyone see that? Now, in a real scenario your target would be resisting, but since Sephiroth is cooperating fully—

*Sephiroth is turning purple and trying to break free*

Angeal: —you can see how the form holds regardless of the size difference! Strife, you can release.

*Cloud releases Sephiroth*

Angeal: Anyway, now we move onto...wait, Sephiroth, what’s wrong??

Sephiroth, pointing at Cloud: WHAT IS THAT?

Cloud: :)

[rottenpumpkin13]

pre degradation Genesis interacts with post degradation Genesis. What happens

Older Genesis is battle-worn, long-haired, calmer in the face, with a degradation scar disappearing beneath his collar, and an unkempt red coat his younger self does not recognize.

He’s quieter too, in a way his younger self cannot match.

Younger Genesis’ hair is glossy, immaculately styled (more for appearances than for himself), red coat polished to perfection, still carrying traces of leather oil, expensive cologne, and that confidence still unfaltering and unrotten as would become the fruits of his labor. And, of course, talking incessantly.

Younger Genesis: “Goddess, your hair is long. I’ve considered growing mine out, but I simply refuse to suffer the inevitable Sephiroth comparisons.”

Older Genesis stays quiet, because he knows there is no Sephiroth to compare himself to anymore.

Younger Genesis: “And that scar on your neck—my goddess, your entire look. My mother would have an opinion about all of this. Several opinions, actually.”

Older Genesis stays quiet, because he no longer has a mother to lie to him, nor to keep him ignorant in the name of maintaining appearances.

Younger Genesis: “Anyway—Angeal and Sephiroth. You’re still insufferably attached, I assume? Still a trio? How are they?”

Older Genesis stays quiet. The old wound on his shoulder starts to sting.

Younger Genesis: “...Alright, don’t answer that then. And what’s with this whole… wandering swordsman aesthetic? Don’t tell me I become subtle with age. It’s not my style to walk this world unaccompanied, you know. Why are you alone?”

Older Genesis stays quiet. His eyes start to sting.

Younger Genesis: “What is it? Have I said too much? I’ve been told I talk too m—hey!”

Older Genesis pulls his younger self into a tight hug. By now, the only act of salvation he can grant his younger self is grace.

[rottenpumpkin13]

What if Gast was somehow someway alive and went to Nibelheim on the 4th-5th day Sephiroth was in the Shinra Manor. And he tried to go talk to Sephiroth?

((In my opinion)) Honestly, if Gast decided to show up at the mansion, he could not have picked a worse time to make it known he was still alive. It literally doesn’t matter what day Sephiroth is on. The exact minute he got that first inkling at the reactor that his entire childhood was a lie, everything started rolling downhill. Shinra, SOLDIER, his legacy, his friends, the people he once considered good—everything and everyone becomes dubious and untrustworthy in his mind until he knows wtf is going on. He’s looking at the world through a completely broken lens.

So Gast showing up right then makes things ten times worse. Because now one of the specific, ultimate targets of Sephiroth’s wrath is just standing right there in the room with him. Gast would probably try to explain himself, justify his actions, “I left because I tried to do right by Ifalna and Aerith!” some desperate, remorseful explanation and how he never meant to leave him.

But Sephiroth is on Day 5 of absolutely no sleep, just straight up consuming these horrifying truths, so no, he doesn’t care about Gast’s good intentions, regret, or the wife and child he fled with, leaving Sephiroth behind because “he knew he would be strong enough to escape one day.”

No, to Sephiroth, Gast is a liar. A coward. A fraud. A hypocrite. A traitor. A deserter. A deadbeat. Gast is a quitter whose sudden remorse is nothing but pathetic, self serving cowardice. He isn’t a role model anymore like he once was to child-Sephiroth. Nor “the kinder of the two,” and certainly not the “great man” Sephiroth once viewed him as. He’s just a traitor standing in the room with the wreckage he made

And by Day 5, that wreckage is already veering heavily toward the violent side. Sephiroth is already viewing humans as fragile, lying traitors who stole the planet from his mother. Gast trying to talk him down or give excuses would just trigger an immediate, emotional explosion. Sephiroth would see the embodiment of human arrogance standing right before him. The same type of human who robbed him of his mother.

Gast’s presence would just fast-track what was already brewing, turning all that sadness, dread and last shred of hope into instant, physical rage. Idk, I think it’d result in a murder right there in the basement— Gast’s blood gets tasted by Masamune before the village even burns.

[rottenpumpkin13]

someone asks lazard if paperwork is so stressful why dosent he hire an assisant they are now assissint how does it go

*Zack rushes up to Cloud, who’s sitting at a desk outside Lazard’s office looking beyond stressed*

Zack: What happened?? I got your SOS email!

Cloud: I can’t handle this work, Zack! I’m going back to the infantry and telling Lazard I’m not cut out for this! The workload is insane!

Zack: Woah hey, calm down! I get it, dealing with a bunch of high maintenance SOLDIERs all day is exhausting. Look, I’ll help you out and make sure no one stresses you anymore.

Genesis, walking up: Strife, where is the greenlit requisition slip for my new regulation boots? I’ve been waiting for two hours.

Cloud: Two hours of the planet continuing to rotate despite Genesis Rhapsodos lacking new footwear. I’ll alert the army to lower the flags.

Genesis: How dare you—

Cloud: I don’t even know why you need new boots anyway. The old pair only carries you from mirror to mirror just fine. Do they make a special pair that prevents you from tripping over your own ego, or are you just hoping a shiny heel will fill the void in your soul?

Genesis, walking away: !?

Cloud: Yeah, that’s right. Keep walking. Walk all the way back to whatever leather outlet spawned you.

Zack: Uhhh…

Cloud: Anyway, yeah, I’m so overwhelmed, Zack! This workload is too much! I can’t handle it!

Angeal, walking up: Hey Strife, why were none of the Third Classes at my defense class? Did you not send the email like I told you to?

Cloud: I can only send the email, Angeal. If not one single person who is dying for a Second Class promotion showed up to suck up to you, that’s between you and your boring lectures.

Angeal: Hey, you can't talk to a First Class like that! I outrank you!

Cloud: Had you pulled the rank card with the guys who stood you up, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

*Zack watches Angeal walk away, jaw hanging open*

Zack: ….

Cloud: Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m just one guy! I can’t manage all this!

Sephiroth, walking up: I’ve been waiting for a package I ordered. Shinra shipping claims it was delivered to this desk, yet you did not notify me. I demand to know where it is.

Cloud: If you give me five minutes, I’ll phone Santa Claus and see if his elves can track down your box. Until then, learn to wait like a normal human being.

*Sephiroth walks away quickly, miffed*

Zack: Dude! You just whipped three Firsts into shape, and claim you’re struggling?? How is that possible?

Cloud: Well, yeah. Look at the next task I have to do. Spreadsheets!

*Cloud shudders*

Zack: ....You can tell Sephiroth to go play with Santa, but you can’t navigate a spreadsheet?

Cloud: Zack, between making a pivot table and fighting Sephiroth in a battle to the death in a metaphysical void at the center of the planet while the sky burns around us, I would rather take my chances with the battle.

Zack: Damn.