𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 is wide and perhaps one of the most genuine smiles she’s felt in a long time. the very same kind that made your cheeks hurt, and to them a rosy tint rushes to her skin. she hopes he’ll NEVER stop saying these things, hopes that they could hold onto that naive bliss that seemed to cloud over them. through the good days and the bad, she wants to feel this way always, wants to feel the very same warmth and comfort she feels now in his arms for the rest of her life. the smile is followed with a laugh, one that she can feel deep within her stomach as her feet fail to touch the ground. arms lift to wrap around his neck as his kiss is welcomed, embraced, almost failing to reciprocate past the grin that failed to leave her expression.
eventually, the smile fades from her lips, softens as the gap between twin flesh is closed and all that remains is a slight curling at the corners. there were times she could look at oliver and not know what was going on inside his head, but now was not one of them. she sees it on his face, clear as the daylight outside of the house she’d grown to call home, it was love, unadulterated and unbridled, and a HAPPINESS that she’d rarely known. she wants to imagine him like this forever, wants this image in her mind until she could no longer remember her own name.
hand travels to the his cheek, silent as she continues to memorize each detail of his face. her own visage tilts, gaze wandering all over his. for a moment, she wants to cry. it’s not out of sadness, but gratuity that he existed in her life, that he loved her so deeply. it’s terrifying to think he could so easily break her heart, but this was it. it was to be oliver or she would sooner die ALONE than allow herself to feel this way about another.
❛ please don’t stop saying those things. ❜ voice finally breaks the silence, soft in nature, and she removes her hand from his cheek to return it behind his neck, her own head shifting to nestle into his shoulder. she squirms for a second, getting comfortable against him. ❛ i’m sickeningly in love with you, too. ❜
within oliver had always laid a certain amount of longing , which was usually coupled with a misguided attempt to grasp onto something that worked to cure this impossible , finite desire that coursed through him. he would search for this cure within his relationships , diving deeper than most in the earlier stages , desperately trying to cling onto something that not only made him feel comfortable , but SECURE , too. this longing plunged him in & out of perfectly good relationships with women he genuinely enjoyed , too -- women he could’ve had something special with if he had lingered a bit longer or tried a bit harder. it was an impossible longing , though -- a desperate need to find the grand idea of love he had painted in his mind as a child , yet had truly never seen in his adult life. he could not have settled for less than the notions that ran through his mind , though , not until he had seen it : the true depection of love & all of it’s imperfections , magnified & multiplied in his father’s rebirth of sorts. that longing within oliver did not lessen when he watched his father fall in love TRULY for the first time , but it had begun to shape into something more reasonable , something that made what he had here , with anna , possible.
what he had with her wasn’t free of imperfections -- they both brought their respective amounts of baggage to the table , with handsome amounts of fear of commitment for them both -- but he wanted it , wanted her , despite it , & that’s what separated their relationship from the others. inside of him now was a desire for MORE than this ideal version of love he had secured earlier in his life ; he wanted something complex , something that made him feel ALIVE as much as it did in love & that’s what he had with her. oliver felt content with anna , because he knew that he could face the troubles he had with others in the past & overcome them & grow stronger with her because of them. he felt in LOVE , but it was more than that , too ; he felt matured -- a better , more forgiving version of himself that needed her & liked it rather than feared it.
❛ i won’t , ❜ he assures , tone soft. his lips tug into a smile to match , & he feels -- physically feels -- the warmth of love in his body when she moves her hand back to its original spot. his own digits smooth out the fabric of her dress as she moves against him , sure that this is perhaps the most content he’s ever been with any one person. he doesn’t want it to end , wants it to go on & on , time frozen at this exact moment for all eternity. this is all he’s ever wanted really , to love & be loved in this form. what he had been longing for was her. ❛ i like you being here , with me. you don’t make me feel alone. sometimes with people , you can feel alone , sometimes more than you do just by yourself , you know ? but not with you. i just feel good with you here. ❜
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