@Roxequ - Wattpad } Writer } Nature Poet } 18 } it } I am one of the monkeys who jumped on the bed and fell off and bumped their heads and ignored the doctor. https://ko-fi.com/roxequ
"Flowers never swayed you, never had, never would. They were just a part of nature you had never been bothered about, but today, you simply hated them. Flowers were vicious and sadistic. They were demons in disguise mocking you for the pathetic situation you were in.
You made a face at them and at your loser of a dad. A dad who didn't care about his daughter's distress."
↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, explicit content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 21.7k+ (both parts)
⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢
The dessert you've chosen to taste tonight must be the sweetest thing you've ever tasted. Your date tonight’s persuasion that it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted shouldn’t be listened to.
Despite the high amount of sugar the dessert you can't even pronounce right contains, the taste on your tongue remains bitter with each second. That’s still not the reason why your little spoon digs in it like it's not worth the price. In reality, it's probably not – perhaps only for the people who love sugar a little too much.
Just a few tables away, the couple remain in their seats with sweetest smiles that could compete with the food that's currently sitting on your plate. Your table is not quiet either.
Gabriel is a good company and he keeps the conversation alive. While he's finished with his dessert, only the empty plate is the only proof of it until the waiter takes it away, he lets you eat yours in peace as he tells you life stories. You're interested and equally joined in this conversation, regardless of your eyes drifting away every time Gabriel even slightly looks elsewhere.
Much to your luck, he does not mention his friend and so you bluntly ignore their presence. At first glance.
There's only so much you can do to try and ignore their known presence, until you hear Nara's laugh up to where you are. It's not the one that's annoying and makes head turns at the interruption. After all, you're outside and the sound of waves washes out most noise.
But not even nature can blur this one out, as Gabriel merrily chuckles when he recognizes her laugh but continues in his talk.
With no help, you naturally let your eyes wander toward their table. Jungkook's toothy grin makes you scrunch your nose at the fact he's actually having a good time. As if he could feel your eyes right away, he looks. Before you know it, his brows shoot up in a provocative manner as he takes a sip off his whiskey.
You roll your eyes, making sure he sees it before you straighten your back. Ready to pop your elbows on the table to rest your chin on top of your hands – and give Gabriel's back your full attention – you bump into the tall glass that is yours.
A sound of surprise makes it out of your mouth as you both grab the glass and prevent it from spilling onto the white table. Even the cloth on the table looks expensive.
“Shit–”
Gabriel laughs, covering your hands with his as you both hold the glass. Your cheeks heat up by the accident that almost happened.
“Stop, or I will think I make you nervous.” he jokes, causing you to shake your head with laughter.
“Men. You always think everything is about you.” you joke back.
He lets go of your hand, the warmth of it leaving yours as you put the glass in a safe distance. Briefly, your brows shoot up in a mocking manner right at the table with a perfect view of Jungkook. He catches it, mockingly rolling his eyes at you.
As much as his presence is distracting, you try your best at not giving him any of your attention. But it seems as if you're playing a tennis match and you keep bouncing the invisible ball between you two – your two dates tonight completely oblivious.
After a while, you excuse yourself to use the restroom – the amount of drinks you've had has caught up to you. You make sure you don't pass right by their table, making your presence known to clueless Nara.
Unsure whether she would speak up first after seeing you or not, you don't test it just in case.
You're not drunk, the drinks you've ordered aren't on the strong side. Also you've ordered a glass of water to make sure you're in a sober state. The slightest buzz caused by the alcohol is just a faint feeling and definitely not the cause of your heated cheeks.
As you come out of the toilet and spot your reflection in the spotless mirror, you ask yourself; Why?
Your blood boils and the pent up tension that seems to be between you two is taking a proper grip on you. Washing your hands with a nice scented soap, your mind goes back to the conversation you had back at the water park.
You're an idiot. You've understood that Jungkook just wants to make decisions on his own. They don't concern you. Until they do.
Both having your own reasons, you understand your own. This can't keep going on for any longer.
Jungkook sees it far more freely than you do. You're already playing with fire – you have been for a long time and it scares you of what it could lead to happen.
It's not even about Jungkook. It's about you. And about your weakness when it comes to him.
Drying your hands, you sigh and try to correct your faded out lipstick. Of course, you've forgotten to bring your purse with you.
With determination to get back and maybe pack it up here, you pull the door with force and make your way to the table, where Gabriel's waiting. Plan is to not look toward the certain table, not making known your obvious awareness of their presence. Checking on Gabriel, you almost stumble in your tracks as you stare at the couple standing by the table.
Your table.
You've got to be kidding me.
Nara's voice is more audible with each step you take, trying to appear unbothered by the fact they just had to butt in. Well, what can you do, right? It was most likely inevitable.
Her cheerful mood is a mocking difference to your gloomy one that suddenly appears by the realization she came to say hi. She's quick, cheeks swelled up in a huge smile and for a moment, you feel awful for not being able to replicate her happiness.
Behind her, Jungkook not so willingly stands there. His whole stance is not hiding that he would much rather take a different route than to your table. His face does not look amused while yours awakens.
“We noticed you before, we just didn't want to interrupt.” You hear Gabriel who smiles warmly.
“Are you enjoying your date?”
Your first natural reaction and response is to correct her, to deny that this is not a date. You're not sure what Gabriel told her, or his friends, but regardless of how romantic this set-up is – this is not exactly a date.
It's in a very much friendly atmosphere and you both gathered from all the talking, that relationship just doesn't work for any of you right now. Gabriel's initiative plan of a hook-up has been swept away under the rug by you.
Going back to your seat, you briefly look at Jungkook who just stares with a little bored glare.
Your so-called date tonight opens his mouth, about to correct her by himself so he keeps the things straight mainly for you, but before he can your smile widens.
“Great. Gabriel picked out the best place.” You compliment him, giving him a look of appreciation as he seems to be fond of it. His bright smile says it all.
“Him and Jungkook think alike then.” Nara compliments Jungkook, her brown eyes moving to him while there are stars dancing in them.
But he stares at you. It lasts a split second but then he gives her a faint smile and a mere nod.
“What are your plans after this?”
“We haven't talked about it that much. We were planning to go for a walk.” you respond, looking at Gabriel in question who nods to your statement.
“Well, I was about to take Jungkook to one of the clubs here. It's a different vibe.”
“Club? I don't know…” you mutter unsurely, not totally sold by her idea of how tonight should continue. But the truth is that spending it with them – out of all people – seems like a sabotage.
“You love clubs.” Jungkook speaks up, eyes daring you to say otherwise as your jaw clenches.
“I do?”
“Especially dancing on tables,” he adds.
Gabriel shows a sudden interest, a surprised but pleased sound coming out of his mouth as he questions you with a bright; “Really?”
“That's great! We should definitely end tonight on a double-date.”
You make a grimace, clearly not showing any interest in that but once you give Gabriel a look, he seems to be enthusiastic by the idea. You should've known he's too free spirited to pass this chance.
“Don't worry. If you end up dancing on a table, I will be there to hold you.” Gabriel tries to joke.
It's not even the fact he's joking on your account, it's what he says that causes you and Jungkook to stare at each other knowingly.
“Oh please,” you scoff, “Jungkook is bringing up something that happened once–”
And had so much more content to it of why you ended up drunk out of your ass.
“He's not one to brag when it comes to being wasted either.”
Jungkook scoffs at the audacity, a tongue poking his cheek as he prevents himself from adding up to the exchange of words you're having.
“The decision is up to you. But I've checked the weather app and it shows it's supposed to rain. Just wanted to inform you, so you don't end up soaked.” Gabriel says, ignoring your little banter which seems like old friends or siblings bantering.
If they notice the sour mood, they don't comment on it. At this point, you think they are just pretending they are not aware of it to make everyone more comfortable.
“I'm not afraid of little rain.”
Gabriel smirks, “Great. Neither am I.”
“Great! So you're joining us? Come on! When are we gonna see each other again?”
Hopefully never again.
“Fine.” you mutter.
“We'll wait outside.” Nara says, motioning for Jungkook to leave the two of you alone. Without looking your way, he turns around and follows her. You chuckle under your breath as Gabriel calls out for the waiter.
It's time to leave either way. After all, there are reservations for this place and you were ready to leave any minute. The waiter comes and before you open your purse, Gabriel quickly pays off the check, of course not agreeing with you splitting it.
“I could've paid the half.” you make sure to tell him as you both stand up, a little frown settled on both your face and lips.
Gabriel laughs, “You can buy me a drink at the club.”
Following him out of the restaurant, you bid goodbye to the staff before you make way outside. Seeing Nara and Jungkook waiting. He keeps his hands inside his pockets, sighing as he leans his back and stares at the dark sky above him.
He doesn't see it. But Nara keeps his eyes on him the entire time, the little stars of admiration seeps out all the way to here.
Once you join them, Gabriel offers to get a cab. You wait very shortly for it, enough for Gabriel and Nara gush about this restaurant while you remain silent. Jungkook joins their conversation, all of a sudden showing an interest which mentally causes you to scoff.
In the cab, you end up sandwiched between Jungkook and Gabriel, after Nara complains she doesn't feel well sitting in the backseat.
Your knee keeps touching Jungkook's, as much as you try to keep every part of your body from touching both of them. As the driver drives over countless bumps, their sides keep bumping into yours.
What a great ride.
Expectations are a part of our lives.
If you thought about a true Hawaiian party, you imagine drinking from a coconut shell – preferably outside on a beach. Once the cab stops and drops you in front of a square building, you realize tonight will be nothing like that.
Almost clawing out of the cab, you're glad to be met with less suffocating air that reeked between you in the backseat. You make the best of it and finally catch a breath, ignoring the way your lungs and heart pounds.
Feeling a hand on your back, you're met with Gabriel's excited gaze at the club's building. There's a big neon sized sign, making it seem as one of those you get to see in GTA games.
“This place is right outta GTA.”
Poking your cheek at Jungkook's comment full of amazement and excitement, you wonder if it was a good idea to agree to come with them. It wasn't. No matter how many times you convince yourself that you'll be having fun, he's just always here. He doesn't even have to do anything. It's his pure presence.
Your holiday is surely coming to an end, not having to spend your last days with Jungkook feels… wrong. All it takes for you to sit down and just have a proper conversation about it. But that hasn't seemed to help. Whenever you talk, it ends up in argument – both of you clearly have different views and even though there comes a certain understanding, it just gets twisted and then you're back to square one.
No progress, just this enormous tension, you happily let Gabriel to guide you inside. Jungkook and Nara stay behind, following you slowly as you find yourself in the middle of Gabriel's and Nara's conversation.
Once the bouncer lets you in, not even caring to check IDs, murmuring to all of you to have fun, you're surprised to be met with stairs that lead to the basement. Not only it seems dodgy as hell, you hesitate and for some stupid reason, you search for Jungkook.
He seems to catch your gaze, features softening as Nara excitedly walks down the stairs. The bass suddenly booms in the place, startling you as the crowd screams in enjoyment.
“Woah, seems very lively here.” Gabriel comments, following Nara without a question.
“You good?” Jungkook asks, taking a few steps down as he stops. A few steps below you, he looks up at you.
“Yeah,” you nod, watching him give you a brief nod before he follows the others. An odd feeling from what seems like a normal interaction melts in your chest, wondering if there's a chance that you two just get over this.
Everything got twisted, with your help of course and without any doubt, you're more than ready to admit it. Jungkook has taken it more to his heart than you would've ever guessed.
Your doubt about this place is slowly wiped off once you get inside, the club truly thriving at its best. The club is fully packed and you keep your eyes on Jungkook's back, not wanting to lose them. Luckily, they wait for you and the entire group to get together before you dive into the crowd to try and find a place to sit and have a drink.
A few moments later and a few people bumping into you, you're luckily able to find one table unoccupied. There are empty glasses left that are put to the edge of the table, hopefully soon taken away. The stench of hard liquor can be smelled around the entire booth.
“I'm gonna get us drinks. Jungkook, give me a hand?”
Jungkook keeps his features neutral, hardly giving any reaction after he's been addressed to. You know better though. By the way his eyes move up and down Gabriel's face, you can tell the underlying irritation of being even addressed by Gabriel.
Whatever his problem is, it's quite entertaining to watch. Especially when everyone's clueless.
“I would rather not leave the girls alone.”
Fuck. You hate your first hand reaction and by looking at Nara, who's swooning over him and already salivating at how that simple action and sentence screams attraction and good manners, you're far better at hiding it.
Nara can't keep her eyes off your friend, not giving a damn how obvious she is.
Gabriel seems slightly embarrassed that he hasn't thought about it, nodding.
“The bar is right there, you should be able to see us.” Nara butts in, clearly complimented by Jungkook's previous statement of not wanting to let you out of his sight.
Jungkook doesn't seem to be convinced. Before he can state otherwise to Nara's input, they convince him they'll be right back. As you watch Jungkook going to the bar, stopping there and looking your way right away to check, you and Nara are already watching him.
Looking away, you cross your legs before Nara sits down on the opposite side, facing the bar with her back. She turns to you with a bright smile.
“He's perfect.”
A little stunned by her words, you don't hide your expression as she giggles because of your reaction.
“I'm sorry for being so straight-forward. It's probably weird for you.”
You haven't had the chance to talk to her alone. All the times you actually spent in her presence, there were other people around – their friends included. It feels a little odd but you don't have to make it any more weird than it has to be.
Because in the end – it doesn't have to be, right?
This is what you wanted. There's a woman mesmerized by Jungkook, a possible someone in his life whether that includes just fun or something more. Knowing how the universe tends to give you a reality check and a whiplash, you quickly leave this thought alone.
“Why's that?” you question, seeming unbothered. Letting your shoulders to relax and convince yourself there's not a reason why you just have a specific stand toward her.
Girls should help each other, right?
Girls should stand with each other.
Where has your feminism gone?
“Well,” she giggles, “I mean he's your best friend, you probably don't wanna hear me gushing about him.”
You don't have to hear about it because she makes it pretty much obvious. Be nice!
Reminding yourself to behave, almost as if you could hear Jungkook somewhere in the back of your mind, you put up a tight smile. “It's fine.”
“You're probably used to it.”
She expects a response, your eyes traveling to left and right as you shrug. “I don't really care about it.”
Him attracting female's gazes just comes with him. It’s like cherries coming with a pit. They’re just like that.
Nara looks behind her, checking on the guys to see them still waiting as Jungkook briefly checks on you two once again. She smiles at him, causing him to wave at her as you fight off the natural response of rolling your eyes.
It’s clear she doesn’t want to rip her eyes off him, but she does in the end just to be back in the same position. Facing you with her full interest. Once she speaks, you understand why.
“Jungkook told me about the break-up he went through.”
You’re trying hard not to show your obvious shock. It has never occurred to you that he might've mentioned that part of his life to someone, who in the end is just a stranger. Or at least that’s what you’re trying to tell yourself but that’s besides the point now.
Learning now that he has spoken to her about it doesn’t really sit well with you. Not for any vile reasons, but it just leaves a weird feeling inside you. Jungkook has always been someone who can find friends easily, have almost any kind of conversation with the other person.
However, the break-up being this particular topic is not something you would’ve ever guessed. Perhaps, it’s not even about the topic itself but the fact that he has so easily closed off any parts of it. Regardless of him being able to talk almost about everything, the break-up was never one of them.
Even with you – you, Jimin and Taehyung – he seemed to put an end to it and not really talk about it, unless one of you started it. Politely as it can be, he would answer but not dwell on it for too long. He closed off that chapter.
“He did?” you breathe out, having a hard time to believe it.
It’s not like she’s lying. Obviously, she knows about it. To what extent, you’re not sure.
“Yeah, he mentioned it. Never got into really much detail, I totally respect that.”
Not really sure what to respond, you nod.
“Did he move on?”
Your eyes got bigger, surprised not only by her sudden question but more by her boldness. Her voice is soft, not coming out as the annoyingly nosy kind.
“Shouldn’t you be asking him that?”
No matter how harmless she sounds, Jungkook is still your best friend and you won’t be spilling his secrets or personal stuff. That’s not loyal nor nice.
“I did,” she says.
Oh.
“I just–maybe it’s silly but–I just wanted to hear your thoughts on it.”
You blink, a frown making its way on your lips. Her facial expression doesn’t drastically change, more of a confirmation crosses her features. It’s obvious you won’t say anything more than Jungkook has. More so, it’s a confirmation that you have his back no matter what.
Considering where your relationship is at now, it does make you sad. But like you said. No matter what – you both have each other's back. The thought of it not being like that freaking scares you.
“Like–do you think he has moved on?” she asks sheepishly, playing with her perfectly cut nails.
Noticing her slight discomfort caused by her own curiosity, you decide to end it.
“Yeah, I think he has.”
Her eyes don’t leave yours, she listens carefully and once she gets her response, she immediately sighs in relief. Understandably. Nobody wants a guy who hangs up on his ex. Before she can say anything else, something that clearly proves her relief, the guys come back. A drink is placed in front of you and you waste no time in drinking it.
“Are we gonna dance or what?” Gabriel asks, clearly in the mood to show his Italian roots.
Surprisingly, you’re the first one to place your palms against the table to brace yourself to stand up. “Let’s go!”
You came here to have fun. Gabriel seems to be pleased by your decision to join him right away. He quickly goes and throws a shot down his throat. Jungkook brushes past you to sit down, your jaw tensing at the close proximity.
Gabriel reaches his hand toward you, ready for you to take it. Jungkook sits down in the booth, arm resting against the frame as the other one reaches for his glass. He takes a slow sip of his whiskey, his eyes not leaving yours.
Quickly accepting Gabriel’s hands, you let him take you to the dance floor and away from the intensive brown eyes.
Hoping Gabriel won’t take it as an opportunity to touch you more than necessary, you’re relieved he mostly keeps his hands to himself, even though his proximity is close. At least that allows you to relax a little bit. You’re not feeling yourself as much as you would if you would’ve drank more. Damn it.
Jungkook was right. You lose yourself a lot more when you drink. Which is not necessarily always positive, but it does allow you to relax and don’t care about your dance moves. Luckily, Gabriel is a great dancer and twirls you cutely to some kind of Hawaiian remix that genuinely makes you giggle through it all.
Once you come back to the table to drink more, a glass of water already awaits you. Knowing well damn who has put it there, you avoid the same brown eyes that are no longer aimed at you. Screw him for being still so attentive.
Him and Nara seem to be in a conversation which you slightly interrupt. She seems a bit disappointed that her alone time with Jungkook has come to a pause.
“You up for a dance?”
Well, she surely wastes no time.
Jungkook seems to be enjoying the same drink he had when you went dancing. Judging by the neutral expression he’s sporting, you see he’s not really in the mood to dance. There’s just something sour about him being so… bland.
Not waiting for his answer that is clearly not meant for you anyway, you don’t bother brushing past him while he’s still sitting. Your butt almost in his face, an apology is sitting on the tip of your tongue but you decide to not be the first one to speak up.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to be wasting his time either. “Yeah.” he says, standing up before you can plop onto the seat next to him.
Trying not to take it personally, it surely does look like you can’t be in each other's presence. The absurdity of the events is comical. First Gabriel takes you away, now Nara does the same to Jungkook.
Once Gabriel sits down and catches one of the waitresses to order drinks for you, he’s talking to you through the loud music. He chose to order the drinks, knowing it might take longer than going straight to the bar. He wants to talk and doesn’t want to leave you alone.
It should be flattering and it is, yet you don’t hold that thought for too long.
Since Gabriel’s voice is not audible enough to hear him properly – and his vocal chords most likely about to suffer – he decides to slide closer to you. He occupies the seat next to you and even jokes it’s better this way, which is understandable. Yet the look he’s got in his eyes tells you he talks more about your proximity than the obvious practicality of your conversation.
You can smell a faint pinch of alcohol on his breath, his demeanor starting to loosen up even more. All of a sudden, your eyes dance across the dance floor to find only one person. It takes a while and a few oblivious glances toward the crowd until you spot him.
Seeing them two from the distance, you bite the inside of your cheek at how good they look together. Two good looking people are dancing, their moves smooth and if you didn’t know better, you would assume there’s something going on between them. Perhaps there is.
For one ridiculous second, you imagine yourself in Nara’s place. You catch yourself wishing that it would be you and Jungkook dancing together.
For fuck sake!
You fight the urge to rip out your hair, simply because your mouth says something and your mind goes completely against it. None of this is normal. Normal is Jungkook hanging out with a woman, while you’re being a good friend and should be completely supportive. After all, it was your idea and push that originally pushed him to enjoy his time with someone else.
You’ve voiced it out differently than it came out which only brings you back to your never-ending thoughts. Jungkook was right. It’s not your decision to make. And it’s clear if he wanted to be with someone else, whether it’s a relationship or a hook-up, he could easily do so. You never doubt it.
Selfishly, you made that decision based on your fears and the odd feelings.
To think you should’ve had the time of your lives, you’re bummed to declare that this vacation is the worst vacation you’ve taken. Not only have you managed to get into a fight with Jungkook, every second here feels like a punishment as well.
You’re here with Gabriel, who wants to have everything you allow him to have. He’s respectful, has been a good friend and never crossed a line, even though he made his original intentions known. Yet, he’s not someone you would hook-up.
Why? You ask yourself.
He’s a good looking guy. A few women here stare at him, probably wondering why he’s in your presence when there’s not even an ounce of something happening between you. He’s talked so much about his life and himself, that you feel as if you’ve known him for months. Stranger, yet he’s someone you know a lot about.
He’s easy-going, friendly and polite. Among everything that has to do with his tan and dark hair.
And here you are. Staring at your best friend instead, going at it with some woman you randomly met, wishing it was just you and him.
Nara suddenly turns around and shamelessly puts her arms around Jungkook’s neck. He seems surprised, you notice it simply by the way he freezes for a moment, his arms not moving but still resting on her hips. That’s when you decide to swallow and quickly turn around.
You screwed up.
“Why?”
“What,” you almost shriek, staring at Gabriel who mimics a confusion.
“You just said fuck.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. Just now.”
Your cheeks start to feel hot and you fight the urge to fan your face. It’s really getting hot here. Chuckling nervously, you swim in your own embarrassment wondering if you really said something out loud. You haven’t noticed! That has never happened to you!
There’s not a hint of joking or amusement on Gabriel’s face and he looks rather… worried.
“Listen,” he says, still loud enough for you to hear. “Is something wrong?”
“Why?”
“I mean like–have I crossed a line or something?”
“No, why? Why would you ask that?” Suddenly, a guilt starts building up and you almost panic you’ve managed to fuck up another thing.
“You seem off ever since we came back from the dancing. Even before that, actually.”
You try to deny, but the way he raises his brow at you tells you to think about it twice.
“Hey,” he says softly, searching your face and forcing your eyes to look at his. “I’m not trying to come out as pushy. I’m perfectly fine just hanging out, it’s almost time for us to say goodbye. I’m fine with whatever you give me. But if you don’t wanna be around me–just say so.”
“Gabriel,” you breathe out, shaking your head. “That’s not–I don’t mind you being around me.”
“What’s wrong then?” he asks.
You lean forward, elbows on the table as you cover your face for a moment. Taking a deep breath, you embrace yourself to face him again. “I’m sorry.”
“For what though?”
“For not being… present? I haven’t been in a mood.”
“But you were perfectly fine before.”
That’s what I made you think.
One advantage of him not knowing you well.
“I screwed up.”
“You haven’t.”
“Yes, I have.” you argue, almost whining.
“How?”
“I–we had a fight with Jungkook.”
“Okay?” he asks, surprised yet keeps his cool. “Friends fight, right?”
“They do–I just kinda pushed him to hang out with other people.”
“And how is that bad?”
“You don’t understand.” you shake your head.
He leans forward, “Then make me understand.”
Sighing, you lean back against your seat. There’s no way you’re about to spill everything to him. It wouldn’t help. What you can give him though, it’s a partial truth.
“I pushed him away, so he could… meet someone new.” you admit embarrassingly.
“And that’s not what he wanted?”
You nod. “I thought I was doing the right thing. He went through something and I just thought–I was being selfish.”
“Y/N,” Gabriel laughs softly, “Jungkook is an adult. I’m sure he can take care of himself.”
“No, I know.”
“And if he didn’t want to hang out with Nara, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. He’s not doing it just because you told him to, right?”
Well, you never technically told him to hang out with her specifically. It was meant in general which doesn’t really matter now.
“God, I hope so.”
“Trust me, he isn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“What kind of person would he be? I might not know him that well like you, but let me tell you something… he definitely doesn’t seem like the type who’s doing everything someone tells him. Look at him–”
You would rather not.
And you don’t.
Gabriel shows somewhere in the crowd and you’re actually not interested to look. Not anymore.
“He is having fun.”
That leaves a sour expression on your face that you’re trying hard to control.
“And it’s time for you to have fun as well. I’m sure you can talk about it later.”
You’re unsure. But once Gabriel asks if you want more drinks, you don’t hesitate to agree. A few minutes later and your drinks are sitting in front of you. Luckily, the topic changes naturally and none of you dwell on whatever has been said.
The familiar tingle in your muscles that causes you to relax is awakened. Gabriel orders you a glass of water too, which causes you to smile.
“You’re such a gentleman.”
“Are you drunk already?” he laughs which causes you to nudge him.
“I’m trying to be nice, so take the compliment.”
“I will gladly take this one.” he hums, not tearing his eyes off you.
They’re really brown. You’re not sure if you ever noticed it that much. Maybe it’s the lights, or the lack of, but they seem to shine. He looks… happy.
“I will be very bummed to say goodbye.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” you laugh.
“I’m not,” he shakes his head with a smile. “I probably won’t see you again.”
“You will live.”
He laughs at that and how easy you shake off his dramatic words.
“Come on, let’s dance.”
“Is this the time you take it on the table?”
You give him a look, “No. That happened once and I had a great reason for it.”
“I’m curious now.”
“Maybe you will learn about it. Let’s dance now.”
You stand up, outstretching your hand toward him. He looks surprised by the initiated contact but happily takes it. You lead him toward the dance floor, no longer caring about anyone’s drinks. You’ve been sitting there for a while and Jungkook hasn’t returned with Nara.
Grasping Gabriel’s hand and intertwining his hands with yours, you start dancing to an unknown song that just makes you want to move to its contagious melody. Gabriel naturally turns you around, hovering his arm over your figure so you can twirl beneath it.
With a wide smile, you start to laugh when Gabriel picks up the pace of his dance moves, twirling you around like a doll. “Gabriel!”
You hear him laughing behind you, slightly pressing his chest against your back. He still keeps it respectful and he’s not fully pressed against you. As your eyes move elsewhere, the smile suddenly freezes and slowly drops.
Jungkook starts right back at you.
Just a few feet away, there he is. Standing beneath the colorful changing lights with a stoic look. Seconds later, you’re reminded of his company as the long fingers brush against his chest, coming from behind him smoothly like a snake, wrapping around its prey.
Okay, that’s kind of dramatic and harsh. Minus you comparing her to a snake, you applaud yourself for the poetic words.
She can’t keep her hands to herself, completely oblivious that Jungkook has stopped moving and she’s the one brushing against him – too close to be described as something sexual. And then you notice it.
This is what you wanted, right?
It’s written all over his face. Taking it as a provocation, you make sure he sees the glare you give him before you turn around and wrap your arms around Gabriel’s neck. He seems a little surprised by your sudden interest, but happily enjoys the close proximity. Unfortunately for you, he sways your bodies and makes you face the pair again.
Nobody forces you to look there. The curiosity and the fire burning inside you do. And you curse yourself for it.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Whatever this is, it’s absolutely dumb.
Wishing you never look, you’re not forced to stare at Jungkook’s hands all over Nara’s body and you swear, you feel sick to your stomach.
Stopping your movements, Gabriel notices right away and you quickly wipe the sudden concern mixed with curiosity off his face.
“I’m thirsty. My legs are killing me.”
Gabriel laughs, “Already? Where is the girl that danced on the table?”
“She’s in there somewhere, trust me.” you comment through your teeth.
He laughs again, “Okay. Let me get you a glass of water.”
“Okay. I’m gonna use the restroom and fix my make-up.”
“Nothing to fix. You’re beautiful.”
The smug look makes you roll your eyes playfully. “Keep trying, bud.”
He laughs, shaking his head at you as he salutes you. You part your ways, your legs ushering you to the restroom.
There’s a girl leaving the stall to wash her hands. You share a smile before you hide your flushed face in one of the stalls. As you finish your business, you flash the toilet and make your way toward the set of sinks. Met with an empty bathroom, you wash your hands as you catch a glimpse of your reflection.
Your lipstick is slightly smudged, must have happened from the few drinks and you licking your lips. The one you’ve chosen to wear tonight is unfortunately not waterproof, so it was bound to happen. Trying to fix the corners of your lips, you wonder if you should just call it a night.
You don’t get a good feeling from this. You’ve danced, drank and that’s about it. It’s better to leave before any of you drink some more. You’ve learned your lesson and you’re not about to spend tonight wasted, probably regretting things that haven’t happened yet tomorrow.
With determination to get back and maybe pack it up here, you pull the door with force but you stop in your tracks, almost bumping to no one else than Jungkook himself. Gasping in shock while he remains unfazed, your shock is soon replaced by annoyance.
He's leaning against the door with his arm, hovering over you.
“Are you having fun?”
Crossing your arms over your chest, you cock your brow at him.
“I do,” you respond, “Which can't be said about you when you've stalked me to the restroom. Which I may add, this is a ladies' restroom.”
“Oh, I am having fun.” he clarifies, “Especially seeing you bored out of your mind by your date tonight.”
You scoff but he tries to look thoughtfully.
“It's entertaining.”
“Your date must be boring as well when you have the time to watch us. Not to mention you have to be entertained by us. You're welcome for making your date better.”
Now he's the one who scoffs. “Please, his desperation reeks through this place. It's hard not to watch.”
“What desperation.”
“Nara told me about him. He's not the relationship kind of guy, not that I haven't noticed but she confirmed it on her own.”
“Nice, you even talk about us. How sweet!”
Jungkook's eyes narrow, “Trust me. Talking about any of you is the furthest of my wishes.”
“Nice to know. Now move.”
Ready to walk past him, he blocks your path and decides to stay right in the door frame.
“Seriously?”
“Have you kissed him?”
You scoff out loud, turning to walk inside the restroom and surprisingly, Jungkook joins you.
“This is lad–”
“I don't care. Just answer.”
“Why does it matter?”
He furrows his brows, “Just wanna know.”
“Have you kissed Nara?”
It's like he expects this question, however has zero reaction to it as he bluntly says; “No.”
“Why?”
“Because I don't want to.”
You hate how happy that makes you inside. And this is what your problem is. No matter what – you see and feel Jungkook.
“Have you?” He pushes again without saying the rest of the question. He doesn't have to.
Clenching your jaw, you don't want him to give him any satisfaction of knowing the truth. Jungkook knows you're honest and that you wouldn't lie about stuff like this.
Huffing out, you mutter annoyed; “No.”
“Why?”
“There was no time to.” you snap, trying to walk past him again but he stops you without touching you. He stands in your way again as if he could see right through your bullshit.
You're sure that if you gave Gabriel a hint, he would definitely take you up on that kiss. Probably a lot more than that.
“Stop lying.”
“I am not. People usually kiss after a date.”
“Stop lying.”
Fucking hell.
“What are we playing at?” he asks out of a sudden, making you look away.
“Meeting new people.” you reply.
“I don't believe you.”
You stare. Those dark big eyes stare at you and you're reminded how many times you've seen them in a million different ways. He's familiar. He's Jungkook. Your Jungkook.
He doesn't feel like a stranger. He's home. But there's still a faint feeling of distance you have between each other and that's the exact opposite you've wanted. You've caused this. But all you've wanted is to get back to the friendship you've had.
“Why haven't you kissed him yet? And be honest to yourself, not just to me.”
“Because I don't want to. Not yet.”
“If he's gonna push himself on you, I'm breaking his neck.”
“Jungkook!”
“I don't care what's going on between us, Y/N. But I'm not gonna allow some stranger to just play you for a good fuck. You don't know this man.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“I care about you. I don't care if we're fighting like a bunch of kids. But if something happens to you–”
“I am getting to know him. I'm safe.”
He stares with those deadly serious eyes, he looks angry. Not at you, in general.
“Did Nara something tell you?”
He stays silent.
“About Gabriel?”
You know Jungkook. He wouldn't flip out just like that. So it does make you question if there's any possibility of Gabriel having a side you don't know yet. Not the one you want to get to know anyway.
“Nothing you already don't know, I'm guessing.”
“He's been honest with me, I'm aware he's not looking for a relationship. We're just having–fun.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he exclaims.
“You sound like a jealous boyfriend. Get a grip.”
“Makes two of us.”
“Excuse me?”
“You can hide it all you want but Nara's presence bothers you.”
“No, it does not. You're the one who doesn't want to kiss her. Why are you wasting her time?”
“Spending an enjoyable time with someone doesn't have to revolve around kissing and having sex. Not as much as you've tried to push it up on me.”
“I made a mistake. I thought I was doing something beneficial.” you clarify.
“Beneficial for who?” Is all he says before he walks away with no bother in the world.
Somehow, you can't seem to talk without getting into an argument. That realization should make you cry. It doesn't. But maybe it will until all the frustration and madness fade away.
Coming back to where the party is pretty much alive, you’re pulled onto the dance floor by Gabriel. His movements smoother, caused by the alcohol consumed. Letting go of that conversation that happened in the restroom, you get consumed by his dance moves. Doing everything to enjoy your time here rather than going back to the only man who seems to be clouding your mind.
Turned with your back, almost pressed against Gabriel’s chest, his hands seem to be more courageous and exploring your hips, close touching your ass.
Blinding red lights cross over your features, drowning every corner and face in them. And you’re too in your head, going back to him despite being in the company of someone completely else. So in your thoughts that you barely notice Gabriel’s hand brushing against your ass, testing the waters as one would say.
Waking out of your unwanted daze, you turn around and give Gabriel a nervous chuckle, not really sure if you’re dancing for this. He gives you a half-drunken smile, pulling you closer smoothly, yet your breath is knocked out of you from the sudden shock.
“Uhh–”
You’re not sure if he hears you, too immersed in whatever’s going in his head but you see the flicker of his eyes toward your lips. Freezing, knowing what’s coming but you’re stuck in your place.
“Gab–”
He makes a sound of acknowledgement, but he doesn’t seem to be paying too much attention to anything other than the one feature his eyes seem to be glued onto. One hand holds the back of your neck, tilting your head ever so slightly causing your eyes to almost bulge out of their sockets.
Is this what you want?
It’s not those hands you’re used to. And that’s what scares you. You’re already comparing in your head and you wonder if you just let him do this. To experience something–no, someone different. This is your chance.
Head saying something, but your body doesn’t listen and for some reason, your hand finds his stomach and you slightly push. He doesn’t seem to get the clue and his head moves closer. Before you can process what’s happening, Gabriel’s warmth and proximity leaves and a cold air hits your face for a moment.
“What the hell, man?” Gabriel seems to shake himself out of his daze.
Jungkook’s back is facing you, broad shoulders and muscles flexing. Without seeing his face, you know that scold is decorating his usually soft features.
“No. What the fuck.” Jungkook says in his face, surprisingly not dripping with venom in his voice as you would expect him to.
“We were dancing.”
You shake yourself out of the daze, coming in between them and without realizing touching and squeezing Jungkook’s forearm.
“She clearly pushed you away.”
“You guys–”
“What–you didn’t.” Gabriel protests, suddenly growing embarrassed.
“He was about to kiss you.”
He stares at you, not moving an inch as your gaze falls down in slight embarrassment.
Something crosses his face and he nods, chuckling to himself. “Right.”
“Then I will leave you up to it.”
And he leaves, brushing through the crowd effortlessly as you watch in desperation.
“Is it true?” Gabriel asks, stepping closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I–” he shakes his head, “I drank too much.”
No. He’s not wasted. You can tell he’s had a few drinks, but it’s nothing too bad.
“No, it’s um–I’m just not feeling it tonight.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Mix of confusion and embarrassment is seen on his face but you excuse yourself and go on a hunt to find Jungkook.
Going in the same direction he went, your eyes search everywhere for him. Not being able to find him anywhere, you wonder if he just left. A part of you argues with you, he wouldn’t leave you here. But not being able to find him anywhere wonders if…
Shaking your head, you’re about to try and go outside, thinking he just went to get some fresh air. As you check one last time, it happens to be the it and from the corner of your eyes, it’s just a few seconds but you recognize him immediately. The choice of his clothing, the way he holds himself. Even the way his body moves.
And the woman in front of him, copying his dance moves. Anger bubbles inside you and for a moment, you wonder if you should do the same to him. He’s unbelievable.
You cannot believe him.
You left Gabriel in the middle of the dance floor just to find Jungkook in the very same position, not giving a damn he nearly caused a scene. Complementing to go there and give him a piece of your mind, he gives Nara a twirl and something urges him to look in your direction, spotting you there.
You huff, shaking your head in disbelief as you make your way out of there. You’re not rushing out of there, growing tired of whatever this game is or absurd situation. Tonight should just end already.
Getting outside feels like a sudden relief, soon to be replaced by shock as rain pours down, drenching you immediately. Yet, there’s something calming about the crazy change of weather. It’s easier to breathe, freshness enters your airways.
Someone opens the door and you feel the presence without having a look. His presence.
“You’ll get drenched.”
Informative and almost expressionless, you chuckle under your breath.
“Already am.”
“You don’t have to stand there though.”
You turn around, glaring at him. “Why do you care?”
“Is that even a question?”
Pulling lips into a thin line, you scoff. “You’re selfish, you know that?”
His brows shoot up for a moment. “Tell me more.”
“Are you serious?”
He shrugs, “Do tell.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Okay.”
You come closer, having an urge to punch him across the face but you stop yourself, hands in fists.
“You come, push Gabriel away for dancing with me and then you do the same with Nara. How does that make sense?” You almost exclaim in total despair.
“No, I pushed him because he went for a kiss and you clearly pushed him.”
“Oh, it was a mere touch.”
He scoffs loudly, hands covering his mouth as he nods with jaw clenched, brushing his fingers across his lips to stop himself from saying something.
“If a woman puts her hands on me and puts a pressure to pull me away, that’s where I draw the line. But then again, I would never kiss someone who clearly doesn’t want it. I would make sure she wants it.”
“Don’t you know it all.”
“Respect toward women? I think I do. It’s a bare minimum.”
God, he’s insufferable! Insatiable, idiotic and yet – absolutely right. But you’re mad at him. Too mad to tell him he’s right. Only because he’s clearly angry at Gabriel. Slightly dramatic too. You would handle it. You didn’t need him to come there and rescue you from an innocent kiss. If it happened, you would communicate it with Gabriel if it didn’t feel right.
“You’re overreacting. You’re making it seem as if Gabriel pushed his tongue down my throat.”
“Lie to yourself all you want. But I know you. Inside and out.”
Rolling your eyes, you wave your hand. “Whatever.”
“No. No. It’s not whatever. It’s the truth. If you would’ve wanted it, I know what that looks like and let me tell you–” He points the finger toward the club. “That was not it.”
“Well, thanks for the rescue then. You can go back.”
He stares, not moving an inch. He gently moves his hand toward your face, tugging a piece of strand hair that’s stuck to the side of your cheek due to rain. You don’t move, in fact, your breath is caught in your throat as your heart erupts in your chest. A rush of adrenaline circulating in your system.
Eyes dropping down to your lips, his thumb brushing against them, wiping some of your surely smudged lipstick in its corner. The other hand goes to the back of your neck, squeezing you there. Head dropping down, he’s not touching you with none of his features – nose and lips close to bumping and you catch yourself slightly pulling toward him. He’s like a magnet.
And then he pulls you away.
“This is what it would’ve looked like if you wanted it.”
Waking up from under the spell he so effortlessly made on you, your features twist into an annoyance and anger. He doesn’t look smug about it. He just accepts the truth, pointing you exactly that. It annoys you to the core and you scoff.
“That’s because I’m only used to it.”
He grins, nothing cheerful about it. It’s sassy and calling you on your bullshit.
“You’re not giving me any space to experience something else.”
His brows raise, smugness coming to life as he bites his lips, nodding. It pisses you off so much, but all you can do is to stare at his own drenched form as his dark hair gets even darker under the moonlight and street lights.
“Tell yourself that all you want.”
A few beats of your heart, the time seems to stop for a moment until the door of the club opens and the two people that are easier to blame for everything, come to the scene.
“You guys where you went? Holy shit–It’s pouring!” Nara squeals, but giggles as the cold rain hits her glowing and spotless skin.
Despite everyone probably feeling the sudden shift of the events, none of them make it awkward or question it. They’re pretty much relaxed, even though Gabriel seems to be still embarrassed and quieter than usual.
“I think I’m calling it a night.”
“Oh, bummed about it but it looks like there’s gonna be a storm. So it’s best we get home.” Nara agrees, already pulling out her phone to call the cab.
Jungkook bluntly ignores Gabriel’s presence, not even turning around to acknowledge his presence as he comes closer to you.
“Sorry for… you know… pushing myself onto you. I–”
“No–” you shake your head. “It’s fine. No need to apologize.”
Giving Jungkook a side look, you see him rolling his eyes as you roll your own. Grabbing Gabriel by his wrist, you pull him aside out of Jungkook’s earshot.
“He’s protective over me. Don’t beat yourself over it.”
Gabriel briefly looks in Jungkook’s direction. “Kinda annoyed at him, but I wouldn’t wanna kiss someone that doesn’t want to kiss me. I got caught up in the moment, which does not excuse me at all–”
“Gabriel, it’s fine. It’s not–nothing happened.”
Apparently, Jungkook can be very protective. Even though, deep down you know you didn’t want the kiss and that’s why Jungkook stepped in. He knows you the best.
“Yeah.” He sounds disappointed and relieved at the same time, smiling at you.
“The cab’s here.” Nara informs.
You move without hesitance.
Once you enter the beach house, there’s a complete silence between you two – no difference after the last conversation you’ve had. If it wasn’t for the talking Nara and Gabriel did, there would be a dead silence on your way here.
The two of you were dropped off first and you bid goodbyes in case you never meet again. Their vacation is ending just as much as yours does. You don’t even have their numbers or social media. They’re just people you met on your stay here.
Who knows if Jungkook does. He seemed to be getting along with everyone.
Inconveniently, you both go to the kitchen and get yourselves a can of soda. You stay standing, leaning against the kitchen counter as you check the time. Jungkook does the same but sits down and drums his fingers against the marble island.
You put your phone on the table, taking a sip to avoid the crucial silence that waits to explode. Realizing the slight fear you so desperately want to avoid, you take a few unnecessary sips. It feels like no matter what any of you says, it will just cause a bigger storm that is outside.
In the distance you hear the sky rumbling. Great, it seems like there’s a storm coming.
Something vibrates on the marble surface. Your and Jungkook’s eyes follow the sound as you notice it’s Taehyung calling you. Clearing your throat, you set aside the can and turn off the vibration, while your phone stills flashes.
Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up, “You’re not getting that?”
“What do you want me to say to him? Tell him that this entire vacation has been awful?”
Jungkook’s brows frown and there’s a sadness crossing over his features over your blunt statement.
“Other than the two days we actually had fun, of course.”
“I didn’t start it though,” Jungkook says, “We had this conversation before and it didn’t really go well.”
“I made a mistake.”
“Thank you.” he almost exclaims, proving his point. “You should change your clothes.”
By the time you got inside the cab, the rain was merciless to you and your clothes got super wet. Jungkook’s on it worse. Since he let you get inside the vehicle first, he got drenched and that’s the reason why he shrugged off the button-up and currently sits shirtless.
You realize you just noticed.
It’s the first time you properly looked at him since you’ve arrived.
“So do you,” you point out, “Or are you planning those droplets to just dry off?”
There’s a hint of sarcasm aimed at the skin he’s currently showing. Of course, he doesn’t mind. He’s Jungkook. He could walk here totally nude and he would joke about it.
He smiles. He freaking smiles and you give him a good roll of your eyes in return.
“Isn’t it uncomfortable to sit down with a wet ass anyway?”
“Are you pushing me away again?”
“That’s not–”
You sigh.
“That’s not it.”
“Isn’t it though?” Jungkook pushes, “That’s what you’ve been doing. Not me, Y/N.”
“I apologized for that. It wasn’t my decision to make, you made that clear and I understand.”
“But then you do what? Glue yourself to a guy who mostly just wants sex from you to prove what?”
Your jaw is close to hitting the floor.
“Gabriel never hid his intentions. But you don’t know that of course, because you’re quick to judge him. Also, he has never really just wanted sex from me. He never pushed me to do anything and you made it sound as if that’s all I’m good for.”
“I would never even imply that because you know that’s not true! You’re more than that!”
“Then why are you even saying it?!” you exclaim, massaging your temples for a second.
“Fine, you wanted to have fun of your own. Doesn’t matter what your intentions were–”
“Suddenly we’re talking about my intentions?”
Jungkook takes a breath, “You’re not letting me talk.”
“I do! But you’re talking nonsense!”
“Nonsense?” Jungkook exclaims, standing up. “Or things you don’t want to hear?”
You stand, not moving an inch as you’re trying to process his words.
“You might think this is some ego stuff, but I can tell when you’re interested and when you’re not. Gabriel is just someone you’ve filled your free time with, to prove your own point.”
“Don’t you know it all?” you mock.
“I don’t, but I know you.”
“Oh, please–”
He chuckles, “Deny it all you want.”
“Gabriel is a nice guy, despite what you think. And you sound jealous.”
“I am.”
Everything stops for a moment.
“What?” you chuckle, a faint sign of nervosity.
“We should’ve had all that fun. Not you and him. Not me and Nara. This was never supposed to be about them.”
You bite your inner cheek, his words hitting you in every bit. He’s right.
“I thought it would be a great opportunity to meet someone. Us–that would just block you.”
“And if I wanted that, I would’ve said something. And if you never want to have sex with me and want all of this to stop, you should’ve said so.”
“I thought this break we have going on is a great way to experience something new.”
“Did you want to experience it?”
“Well–I thought more of you–”
“Exactly.”
Mouth in a thin line, you poke your inner cheek. “You did seem to hit it off with her.”
“You did seem to hit it off with him.”
“Well, he’s a nice guy. I told you.”
“Yet, you don’t want him near you. Not in the way you’ve implied before.”
You don’t deny nor confirm. It’s pointless.
“And you? You said you don’t want to kiss Nara.” you say, straightening up as Jungkook nears you, interested in what you’re about to say. “Why?”
The simple question sounds like a mere whisper, faded out by the rain hitting everything outside.
“Because those are not the lips I wanna kiss.”
Ready to drop on your knees, you watch Jungkook’s eyes drop down to your lips and you strongly grip the counter behind you. Knuckles turning white, your eyes move on their own and follow Jungkook’s lips.
“That sounds romantic.”
He shrugs, “I’ve always been kind of a romantic guy. Bear with me.”
There’s a flicker of lightness in his voice—a confession that feels more like a gentle reminder, because you’ve always known this about him. The corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly, subtle enough to miss, but you catch it.
Before you even realize it, a soft giggle slips out—and suddenly, you’re both just looking at each other. No words pass between you, but in that silence, it hits you.
This is the first time you’ve genuinely laughed together since everything went downhill. Laughed. If that’s what you can call it.
Despite the genuine exchange of giggles and looks, there’s something lurking behind those big dark eyes. Without realizing, you have no idea there’s the same look in yours. It’s as if he’s daring you to react. To question something you both already know.
“Then tell me,” you feign obliviousness. “What lips are those you’re talking about.”
He lightly chuckles, the tip of his tongue gently wets his bottom lip. He cocks his head to the side, taunting you. “Guess.”
“I am supposed to guess now?”
“I could show you,” he hums, coming closer. “You wanna hint?”
“Try me.” you try not to swallow dryly as he grips the edge of the counter right next to your hands, caging you.
“The lips that speak sometimes before they think.”
Biting down your lip, you prevent yourself from gasping in offence but it’s all written in your eyes. It makes Jungkook smile in triumph, but you continue in this game.
“No idea.”
“Hm,” he sucks in his bottom lip, feigning his deep thinking. “I guess I should show you instead.”
“You want to?” you ask, voice barely steady, trying not to sound like you need the answer too much.
“I’m dying to.”
He’s so close. His warm breath tickles your face, and every part of you is strung tight—caught between the urge to close the space and the fear of what it might mean if you do.
Your hands twitch where they rest on the counter, so close to his, but not quite touching.
“Well,” you breathe out already breathlessly, “We wouldn’t want you to die.”
“Is that your way of giving me permission?” he cocks his brow at you, finding your response nothing but amusing.
Your mouth is one step ahead and before you can think thoroughly about what your next words will be, they already leave past your lips–proving Jungkook’s previous words right.
“You never stopped having one.”
In other scenarios, perhaps you would cringe at the raw honesty in that one statement. Sounding too real, romantic and even maybe a little needy. Not at the moment though. Now it’s your turn to give a reminder because that’s exactly what it is.
It’s not about never wanting to—it’s about the constant battle of trying not to.
“It’s that easy, huh?”
His nose is so close. The familiarity of it on its way to bump yours is right there, yet he’s just inches from it. Holding himself back and driving you to insanity.
Finding some voice left, you whisper; “Nothing is easy when it comes to us.”
It’s the painful reality, one you’re running from because there were days when a statement like this would be pure lies. Nothing else.
All of this is pushed aside. All of this is forgotten as Jungkook’s lips touch the apple of your cheek. So faint that you wonder if he even touched you or it’s all in your head. Eyes closing automatically, you slowly pry them open, knuckles turning white from how hard you’re gripping the counter.
“Seems easy to me.”
You gulp, “Then why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
“You want me to kiss you?” he questions deeply, clearly taunting you, playing with you.
He plays this game well. You will give him that.
“You said you know when a woman wants it,” you breathe out. “You said you know me inside and out.”
He smiles. He freaking smiles.
“You got me there.”
Just be done with it, you think. But the thought of not getting what you want at the moment consumes you. It feels like–if it’s just this time, so be it. You earn for him. The tension between you is insufferable. He’s right here. On the tip of your fingers, on a golden plate.
a/n: had to split this chapter into two parts (not happy about it but what can i do) please give some love to both parts and read my a/n in the second part that's posted! <3
PART 2
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Finally the time for leaving came, time for the actual drama. Ugh... You didn't want this.
The car journey was awkward. You didn't know him much and he didn't know you much but yet here you were, married! He sat at one corner of the backseat while you occupied the other, both looking out the windows.
You didn't know where you were going, they had kept it a complete secret from you saying it was a surprise. Oh fuck surprises, you always hated them. It wasn't like you were going to enjoy the holiday anyway, you'd probably be wallowing in misery, attacking all the ice cream in the freezer if there was any or crying yourself to sleep every night.
The scenery would have looked quite beautiful if you had been in a better mood. The area the car was being driven was mountainous. Tall spruces lined on either side of the road and the occasional bird cried through the trees loud enough for it to be heard in the car.
The car dumped you at a fine looking building, three stories high and had huge glass windows which offered spectacular views of the scenery around the house. There was a small garden attached to the front of the house. It suited you, you thought. It was an autumn evening and the sun wasn't too harsh, the air was cold and windy. A nice atmosphere to lament and bury yourself in your own sorrow.
The walk to the house was silent, double the awkwardness. Neither talked as the driver showed the interiors but bowed your heads to acknowledge him.
You almost choked on your own saliva when the man pointed out the largest bedroom in the house as the "marital bedroom." Fuck marital bedrooms, you were determined to have your own room. Surely there were a few extra rooms in a house as big as this.
He left after his long explanation, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake.
"So..." He began. You interrupted him, "I'll go get the extra bedroom," you said quickly, in case he was a slimy squirt and wanted to share the so-called "marital bedroom." Your mouth curved into an ugly scowl as you remembered the word. He didn't say anything but went into the main bedroom and closed the door.
The room you had was in many ways an improvement of your old room. A double bed with smooth white sheets, and a large television in front.
You moved to the window and parted the curtains.
The view! The whole side of the wall was glass and showed you the whole neighbourhood. There wasn't a house for miles but yellowing forests and a grey-blue river meandering down a low slope of land.
You threw yourself on the couch near the window, almost tripping due to the long train of the gown.
Sadness wallowed you again at the sight of the snow white taffeta dress. You sat down and crumpled a fistful of the dress, as tears cascaded down your cheeks, unfortunately not ruining the waterproof makeup.
The grey clouds in the sky seemed to mock you while you cried uncontrollably into your hands, finally letting go of your careful display of arrogance and "I don't give a fuck" attitude.
You had to call your mum and finally ask her where all this started, she had promised you she would explain once everything was over. A marriage contract for a mere exchange of citizenship? Only his citizenship more like. But why, why you? You didn't need to go to any other country. Why was it a one-sided contract? So many questions escalated in your brain.
You clicked on her contact waiting for the call to ring. The call got cut for no reason at all. You stared at the phone, bewildered... Was your phone mocking you too now?
You jabbed at her number again and were about to put the phone on speaker when it clicked: you had no signal. The mountain they'd dumped you for your so-called honeymoon to get to know your husband was too high to catch telecommunication signals!
How lucky! You thought with utter sarcasm... Now you couldn't even call Taehyung and Hoseok. You only had that dickhead to speak to, what a bore. He looked cheerless to you, the kind that wouldn't read a book to save his life.
And if he couldn't read books he couldn't read you. You wouldn't be able to sync with him... For six months.
A half year spent trying to come to terms with an iron cage they'd dropped on your head, even if it was temporary.
Ugh, why did this have to happen to you!?
"FUCK EVERYTHING!" You cried, before angrily tearing the dress off your body and heading to your suitcase.
Someone knocked on your door... Of course, it wasn't like you didn't have any idea who that person may be.
"Yeah?" You asked him. He had changed into a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt.
"Erm..." He looked down at the ground, hands knotted in front of him, "what are we going to eat?"
"Huh?" Your brain was as slow as your storage three-quarter filled laptop.
"Eat, for like, dinner you know?"
"Ohh" You weren't in the mood to eat. All you wanted to do is starve yourself in the hopes that they might give you a divorce. And that might as well happen when donkeys fly.
"I don't know, you make something if you want to eat, I'm not hungry."
"Well... Then I'll order something"
"Fine." You tried to close the door, but he held it, "you sure you're not hungry?"
"No." You tried your best to mould your face into a fake smile. He probably wasn't fooled, he gaped at your face before you slammed the door in his face.
You returned to your studying. The sooner you got your degree the better. At least you'd get a better job and some money to bribe these people into a divorce.
He started droning again, and you spent the time praying to god, who had been evil to you for a few good months now, to save you from this situation.
You felt your arm being pulled forwards and you jerked out of your daze. Jungkook was sliding a thin band of gold up your ring finger. You stared at it. A huge weight seemed to have been dumped on your shoulders.
You were a married girl now, a woman. You wanted to rage and scream, you wanted to rip the officiant into pieces, but the little decency you had left prevented you from doing that.
Your dad, who was standing a few feet away pushed a ring into your hand You looked at the gold band. It was the same width as yours but slightly bigger in size. Get it over with Y/n, you told yourself. Procrastinating will only make things worse.
You pulled Jungkook's hand and shoved the ring up his finger.
Done.
"And now, it is my honour and delight to declare you married!" He said with a gloating smile.
"You may now kiss the bride."
"What?" You mumbled under your breath, your mom had promised she'd remove it from the ceremony.
A kiss? No no no no no no... your brain screamed inside your head as Jeon Jungkook leaned into your face. His eyes were on your right cheek and his face was as red and halfway green like a ripening tomato. He looked just as flustered and embarrassed as you.
His lips brushed against your lips slightly before moving away. It was just a brush, not a kiss at all, but he made a good impersonation of it, and you were grateful.
It was another good—well not good— but fine sign. He was a person who minded his own business. He had had his hands on his sides was not even touching you.
Neither of you waited for the crowd to stop clapping, you both started back down the aisle. His arm wasn't entwined by yours as a normal couple' would be, and you were so happy about that. Skinship with unknown people scared you and he was being extremely polite to you in your own way.
You restarted your staring and scowling while he, you saw from the corner of your eyes was looking down at the ground as he walked.
A black car had already arrived in front of the church. Your eyes almost popped out of your sockets when you saw that it was a Rolls Royce.
Wow. Was he that rich?
You were about to check his face when you saw that he's turned around and was bowing low at the people gathered at the church entrance.
You turned back and gave them a nod of your head. That would be enough to satisfy them, they didn't deserve your respect anyway; you never wanted this damned ceremony to happen.
You threw open the car door, deliberately tearing a part of the net and dropping one of the roses adorning it to the floor. "Kick off," you told the driver. He politely bowed his head at your command but waited until Jungkook had slipped in and closed the car door before starting the engine.
Your mom and dad, and his mom and dad, and a whole load of other dickheads waved at the car as you sped down the lane, scattering the autumn leaves on the road.
You arrived at the reception hall, and your bridal dresser whisked you away again, this time hanging another dress on you, a cream coloured dress with a glittery white waistband. You would have admired the dress had it been another day.
The makeup took forever, they kept dabbing at your face with foul-smelling (everything felt foul when you were in a bad mood) powders and creams.
"You're all done," the makeup artist said, pulling at your hair and tugging some strands in front of your face. You glared at her before getting up and moving towards the door.
Once you had your back to them, you deliberately moved your finger across your lips and smudged the colour over your chin. You didn't care about self-honour anymore. All that mattered was your displeasure which you wanted to publicise so badly.
You arrived outside to the music. People clapped as you entered the room... many had worried... or even gleeful looks on their faces. No doubt they noticed the lipstick smudge. Jungkook was already there clapping along with the others, you went and stood a metre away from him. When the band started playing everybody sat down at their tables to chat.
You had to sit down in the place specially arranged for the bride and groom. It was a small podium decorated with more flowers and net, red and gold this time.
"Hi I'm Jungkook." His voice was tentative and it was obvious he was testing the waters, waiting for your reaction. Possibly waiting for you to start screaming or to not answer. He held out a hand.
"I'm Y/n," you said, and kept staring resolutely at the annoyingly glittering roses in front of you, ignoring his hand.
Jungkook dropped it, understanding that you weren't in the mood for nice pleasantries at the moment. "I'm really sorry about this, it's hard for me too."
You looked up at his face which had a sorrowful expression in contrast to your angry one. He was looking directly at you with his hand folded in his lap.
"Yeah I guess you didn't have a say in it either?"
He shook his head. "Did you have a boyfriend... or girlfriend?"
It was your turn to deny, "I'm straight, and no, not recently."
"Oh, well I did, and I had to break up with her."
Because of you. Well, it looked like he was in a worse situation that you, you tried to muster up some pity in your heart for the poor guy.
"Everything sucks that's all I can say."
He laughed low and began to sip his drink that the waiter offered him.
The food was delicious, and that was the only moment you liked so far in this goddamned ceremony. Your hand kept banging into Jungkook's even though you tried your best not to, and the looks you got from your mother infuriated you even more.
"Y/n..." A teasing voice came from behind you.
"Taehyung!" You cried, throwing your arms around his torso. Finally someone you could dump your worries on.
"Well well well... If it isn't our Y/nie getting married!" Another face appeared behind Taehyung.
"Hoseok! You came too? I didn't even know they invited you!"
"No they didn't invite us, we invited ourselves," Taehyung said with a flourish of his coat.
"I have tons of stuff to tell you guys..." You whined.
"And is this your new husband? Introduce us Y/n" You threw Hoseok a glare before introducing him. Jungkook stood up and shook hands with both of them, "nice to meet you."
When the time to dance came, you felt like burying yourself then and there. You had to dance with him in front of everyone. Your mum clapped while your dad gave you a watchful look as Jungkook lead you to the dance floor.
You were a complete amateur at dancing, plus you were supposed to dance with this strange new man. Hoseok and Taehyung made faces at you from afar as Jungkook's hand landed on your waist.
You reluctantly reached unto his shoulder and held onto it as lightly as you can. "Just play along with it," he said, when you scowled at your parents. The music started. It was slow mournful tune, you found nothing romantic about it. Wonder why people played songs like that at weddings? They suited funerals far better.
"This is so unfair."
"I know." He whispered.
"I just want to disappear right now."
"Trust me, me too."
At least he was a decent man. Neither smarmy nor totally cold.
"Y/n honey are you ready yet? It's time darling," your mother crooned across the locked door.
"It's almost done miss," the bridal dresser announced when you didn't bother to open your mouth, you were trying to keep the curse words from spilling out.
The dresser was adding the last touches to your dress while the hired make-up artist pursed her lips and painted your lips in a nude colour.
You had vehemently refused the pink colour they had offered, even going as far as to throw a tantrum; anything to show them you didn't approve of what they were doing.
You were grumpy and annoyed, not to mention angry beyond words. You had raged and stormed at your parents, crying your heart out till you realized that they won't backtrack, they will keep their decision.
And it was all very frustrating.
Just what did you do to deserve something like this? It was temporary, yes, but still... who wanted to marry someone they never met? Why couldn't the groom at least be someone you knew? But a complete stranger?
Ugh why why why?
You knew you didn't deserve this. All things considered, you had been a good daughter, a good child and a good student, why did your life have to end up like this? Ugh.
"All done," the bridal dresser smirked evilly at you. "You can go out now, I assume the ceremony will start in a few minutes."
You grimaced at her and stomped off your seat, purposely stepping on your dress and coating the hem with dirt.
All you wanted to do was to go to your room and cry onto the sheets until you had no tears left. You tried your best to cover the tears threatening to fall by anger.
Your mother was waiting outside.
"Oh my god y/n you look so beautiful! Come here." She drew you against her by the shoulders and hugged you gently. You remained passive in her arms. Rigid and unmoving.
It was all her fault, hers and dad's. How did they even muster the courage to look at your face let alone hug you? Blatant people.
"It'll start in a bit, let's go downstairs, your father is waiting."
You let her drag you down a flight of stairs coated in white roses and ribbons. Yellowish rose petals had been scattered on the steps and you stomped on them with your heel in anger.
Wow.
Is this what your funeral looks like? You felt like a pig being sent for slaughter. If only they had switched the roses for daisies it would look perfect, and maybe a slow sad song instead of the small lullaby of a tune playing now.
You grimaced at your dad standing at the foot of the stairs.
He handed you your bouquet. It stank of roses, forget-me-not and myrtle. Streams of lily of the valley hung down the sides of the huge ball of flowers.
Flowers never swayed you, never had, never would. They were just a part of nature you had never been bothered about, but today, you simply hated them. Flowers were vicious and sadistic. They were demons in disguise mocking you for the pathetic situation you were in.
You made a face at them and at your loser of a dad. A dad who didn't care about his daughter's distress.
"Let's go," he said in his usual uptight tone. He grabbed your hand and stuck it in his arm and you unwillingly walked along with him, taking care to walk in a march with your legs thundering along the aisle. Once every few steps you dragged your heel along the floor. It made a spine-tingling tinny sound and you hoped the heel would break, in vain.
Your dad nudged your arm irritatedly but did you care? Did you care two hoots about upholding the family honour anymore? To hell NO! You were trying your hardest not to kick him in the shins. Nothing mattered to you anymore except the fact of how you were going to survive from now on.
A new house. A new family. A new room. And... the thought brought chills to your spine...
A husband.
And you didn't even know what kind of a person he was.
For all you knew he could be a drunkard... an abuser... a shameless fuckboy... or a soppy simp.
Ew.
You'd rather get a drunkard or fuckboy than a slimy soppy slug.
The people on either side of the aisle were smiling foolishly at you. You didn't forget to throw each of them a dark look, they should know that you weren't happy, they should know this was a literal funeral for you, just add some lilies.
Your dad nudged you again. You poked him back hard on the ribs. Seriously, didn't he get how you were feeling? Was he really the psychopath you had always imagined him to be? He nudged you again. This time you lost your patience.
"What?' you asked him through gritted teeth, did he want to wind you up even more?
He gestured to the front with his head.
You sighed. Of course, all he wanted was for you to continue acting this highly overrated drama. You pointedly rolled your eyes and looked to the front.
Oh.
Oh.
You get what he was trying to show you.
He was standing there next to the altar, wearing a black tuxedo, a sprig of myrtle stuck into his coat pocket.
You looked into his eyes from afar, trying to judge him, but you were too far to say much, they were black like yours and glinted with the lights on the wall.
Of course there was no denying he was handsome, you admitted grudgingly. He had jet-black hair with a fringe that came close to his eyes and a fine build and stature.
You dropped your gaze when he turned to your side. You could feel his eyes on you but ignored his gaze. After all, there still were some people left who hadn't been blessed with your pretty glowers.
You approached the altar along with your dad. He took your hand and shoved it into his and stepped away, pushing you closer to the annoyingly pretty stranger.
The first thing you registered about him was that his hand was warmer than your dad's. He would've felt the chill of your hand, it was covered in sweat from all the anxiety.
It took all your self-control not to kick him too, he was the start of it all. You knew you were being irrational, but his mere existence infuriated you.
You looked away trying your best to restrain your anger which was already overflowing. He looked away too.
Good, you thought. The man was obviously a person who minded his own business, which suited you just right. Not the clingy, smarmy, overly emotional type. It diminished your anger one minuscule digit down.
The officiant started his accursed speech. You internally groaned and crossed your free arm in front of you, holding the elbow of the arm stuck in Jungkook's grip.
The man turned to you at the end of his speech and looked at you expectantly. Crap, here we go...
Jungkook began, "In the name of God, I, Jeon Jungkook, take you, y/n to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part."
He sounded like a radio host talking from a place with extremely low telecommunication signal.
Soon it was your cursed, damned, god-forsaken turn.
You'd practised this, you had to sound like your droning history professor and be as rude as you can.
In the n-name of god, "I, Y/n, take you, J-Jeon Jungkook to be my h-husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til d-death to we part."
Why, just why did you have to stutter? Fuck your anxiety and nerves.
The tears finally spilled through your anger and went slashing their way down your cheeks. Your parents were really going to sell you to a stranger like this were they?
The officiant looked at you kindly, he probably thought you were getting emotional and all lovey-dovey. You threw him a pure look of utmost loathing, bearing your teeth like a tiger.
Jungkook was staring at your face now, at a loss of words or actions at your tears. He totally understood, he knew what was behind it, he knew you were distressed (wasn't it obvious?) and sad. But what could he do? It wasn't his fault either.
"And now", the officiant said after clearing his throat, "Jeon Jungkook, do you take Y/n to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honour, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding unto her evermore?".
Jungkook looked as frustrated and as uncomfortable as a dog caught up in a fence. "I do."
"And do you, Y/n, take Jeon Jungkook to be your husband?"
Your entire soul was screaming at you to say you don't and end everything then and there but your mouth, which had been brought up to love and respect your parents said otherwise.
You turned to the crowd at threw the deepest look of hatred you could conjure at your parents before saying,
yousharknotpass
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