Sold My Soul To A Three Piece

Casper Fergus - 24 - Bisexual - Crystal Meth Addict - Bipolar - I'd Kill You For A Hit - He Told Me I Was Holy

[roxtless-tree]

bloodxobsessive:

L i t t l e    F U C K I N G   r a t ! That’s what Luthor thought as he turned to Casper, his eyes narrowed, clearly unimpressed by the tone he was being spoken to in. Why did these people think it was okay to talk to an ordely like they were equal to him? Why did they not realise what a bad idea it was to piss off a man who tucked you in at night and carried sedatives in his pockets? In Luthor’s opinion, they were all fucking stupid and he was sick of dealing with them.

Looking down at the patient as he was called pathetic he glared, his eyes iced over like he was going to freeze the boy where he stood, and yet it lasted only a second before he laughed, not quite genuine, but not fake either, just barely amused. “I’m going to rewind this conversation and give you a chance to think about how you speak to me.” He let a breath out, almost as if he was trying to calm himself down and maybe to get his head straight as the drugs were still feeling fresh in his system, then he straightened, his tall figure growing even more so as he looked down at the dark haired little freak. “I mean, you’re almost on the red level, do you really want me to lock you in your room, or should I say cell, till the morning? Or, maybe you do. You like being tied up? That your game? Glutton for Punishment?”

The look on Luther’s face was damn near priceless. He was so angry in seconds and only because of a few words. Casper was going to have fun with him. These guys who worked here were a lot like wined up toys. Twist the crank around a few times, let them go. Watch them run. It was entertaining if nothing else. Filled his day at least. Which was something really important here considering that day in and day out was always the same. These little breaks to get fucking high or mess with people were all that Casper had going for him at the moment. 

So he simply cocked a smile on to his lips and shrugged his shoulders as Luther glared at him. He couldn’t help but wonder what the guy looked like when he was happy. Really happy. Blissed out sort of happy. “Oh,” Casper nodded. “are you one of the ones that likes to be called sir? Or maybe Master suites you better. I know theirs a couple guys around here who like daddy too.” He offered. “Because if thats the case then we should back track. I’ll correct myself.” Casper smiled and kept on smiling as Luther went on. He really was a glutton for punishment. He loved anything that hurt him. Anything that killed him. He was a fucking meth head and wouldn’t pick any other way to live. Addiction made him a glutton for punishment. The fact that Luther was good looking and threatening him really did nothing but excite Casper. “All I just heard now as that you want to tie me up. Which sounds great to me.” He chuckled lightly and rocked back on the balls of his feet. 

[roxtless-tree]

soldierroman:

   –Roman was sleeping more than usual.

It was nice to sleep like he was, but at the same time, he knew that the better he slept, the more likely he was to have a violent episode. The nightmares tended to creep up on him if he slept well. He’d been dozing when Casper returned from whatever the fuck he had been doing. Though Roman had woken more fully at the sound of his entrance. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Casper.

The man grumbled as Casper settled down, though he nodded his head in gratitude and took the water bottle. A sip was taken before he was looking back at Casper, his eyes studying the boy. “–Hey. I’m fine, kid. No need to touch though. Tender.”

Making a bit of a face, Casper sat next to Roman on the bed. He helped the guy drink a little more and then set the bottle down next to Roman’s bed. Honestly, there was nothing fine about how Roman looked. He was blood and bruised. Nothing that Casper hadn’t seen before or looked like himself but it was different when it was someone else. Someone he actually liked. Roman hadn’t done anything but be good to him. Despite the withdrawal and the out bursts, the ups and downs, Roman was good. He had his issues but he wasn’t like Casper. He protected people. He was loyal and smart. Two things that could not be said about Casper. If killing Roman stood between him and some Crystal- Well, Casper wasn’t good. 

“You look like shit.” Casper pointed out as he smoothed some of Roman’s hair out of his face. “Shit ain’t fine.” He added before dropping both his hands into his lap. “You wanna blow job or something? Probably make you feel better.” Casper offered with a slight joke on his tone and a smile on his lips. Sex was one of few wells he actually knew how to make someone feel good. It was all he knew how to offer when it came to comfort.

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“-Oh fuck.” Casper hissed as he looked at the woman in front of him. She was the one that had been with him when he was tripping to hard. Oh god, wait, had he vomited on her? No, no. Not on her but right next to her. Yeah, he had totally almost thrown up on her. Her face. He’d actually seen it a few times while he was sleeping. But she wasn’t her while she was sleeping. This one, this woman in front of him was called Jayson. IN all his dreams he’d called her Crystal. What the fuck? It must have been something else they were giving him. The mixing of drugs always got you weird results. Not that Casper minded but he did feel a little bad about nearly throwing up on her. That was not a good look on anyone and she was really pretty. Oh he was a fuck up. At least he wasn’t as fucked up as last time. No, he was high, but not throwing up pills high. No, he wouldn’t do that again. To much of a waist. 

Shuffling on the spot, Casper looked away from her. “Yikes. I guess I really made a first impression. Not a good one but I made one, huh?” He asked looking up at her again. Normally he was pretty shameless about everything he did but nearly throwing up on someone was pretty bad. At least in Casper’s mind it was pretty bad but that didn’t mean much. Casper’s mind was a fucking mess. “You wouldn’t happen to be able to just fuckin’ shrug the whole throwing up thing off, would you? Because I don’t normally make a habit of blowing chunks all over pretty girls.” He pointed out. “At least not the first time I meant them.” Casper joked a lighter laugh leaving his lips. Self deprecation he could do. Easily. Even the smallest of jokes fell from his lips without a second thought. Besides he deserve this one. 

@jay-the-toxicant

[roxtless-tree]

Walking into there room, Casper stretched his arms above his head reached back to pull his shirt off smoothly. He’d been taking it easy since the whole throwing up in the hallway in front of a pretty girl thing happened. That had been a waist of pills. A waist of pills was a waist of a good fucking high. Which wasn’t good at at all. So he was being careful. Taking his next dose only when he started to actually feel himself being down. Not coming down. He forced himself past the feeling of coming down. Past the fear of sobriety and then he took his next two once the world wasn’t fun anymore. It was miserable for about half an hour before they kicked back in and he was good again. Right now he was fine. His afternoon was spent outdoors just sleeping the shade but it was a hot one. 

Casper probably would have stayed out there but he had a Roman to check up on. The guy had really taken a bullet for him when the lights went out. Not literally taken a bullet but basically. The guards had done a number on him and it was no good. Tossing his shirt aside, Casper crawled into Roman’s bed and sat down next to the older. “Got you some water.” He took a sip himself before handing the bottle off to Roman. “Hows your face feel? Looks better than it did yesterday.” He pointed out before touching some of the bruising on the one side of Roman’s face. The guards and nurses didn’t seem to care that much for Roman. Which was a really piss off. Not that casper minded, he just couldn’t tell if anyone was seriously wrong with him or not. 

@soldierroman

[roxtless-tree]

bloodxobsessive:

There was nothing better than shooting up a little morphine in a dark corner and enjoying the way it seemed to flow through his blood and wake him up. It felt like he was alive for the first time. If anything, it helped him do his job, not that anyone knew about it. He was confident he could handle the habit, he wasn’t addicted, that was for losers and poor people, no he was just having fun. He only shot up a small amount, just enough to feel it, when and if he got the chance. 

He was disposing of the needle when he caught a glimpse of a shadow, knowing someone was there, he knew they couldn’t of seen too much, he’d had his back to room and the lights were off, he wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t going to explain a needle to a fucking whelp. He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone. 

Dumping the needle in the trash, he glanced to the other, before pushing past them, his shoulder bumping theres in silent warning to keep their mouth shut. “Watch it creeper!” You didn’t want to piss off an orderly with keys to your room and access to drugs. 

When Casper had been in the medical storage unit when the power was out, he’d thought about grabbing a few doses of morphine for himself. It hit you faster, the high was sharper but a lot more... fuzzy and then you came down off it rather quickly. Well, for Casper anything less that twelve hours seemed quick. His mix of Benzo’s and Oxy’s kept him high for twelve hours. Longer if he could keep the high going with his stashes around the hospital. He did think about it. For a long time. A shot of morphine might be nice, actually. If only to feel a needle prick his skin and the hot pressure of drugs being injected again. It wouldn’t be Crystal though. Which sort of made the whole thing pointless to even think about. 

Of course, by the time that Casper came back down to earth and got out of his own thoughts, the guy was done with his shot. Done and walking towards him. Casper tried to slip away but his shoulder caught the other’s arm and he stumbled back against the wall. Looking up at the taller man, Casper made a bit of a face. “Pretty sure you just ran into me, asshole.” He pointed out, dark eyes on dark eyes. He wasn’t a short guy by any means but this orderly seemed to be built like a tree. “Does it always take you that long to find your vein? That was kinda pathetic.” Casper pointed out as he crossed his arms over his chest. It hadn’t been. He was just mocking the guy for calling him a creep. Rude. Plus he didn’t offer to share. Double rude. It hadn’t really clicked yet that he was an orderly. Casper just figured he was another druggie. 

[roxtless-tree]

xspcwn:

            She knew this was a form of prison. Yet still wondered if she could do things she liked. Small activities she did besides the obvious in her being here, such as ballet, gardening, or even play her violin under watchful eyes. It was a string instrument, after all. What she was privileged to do or not. Hopefully money talks around here if not, for an exception. She would provide a good point in the matter. What better way to occupy the mind and body. It would steer her from having those DARK URGES, as she heard the doctor say before coming here. Her thoughts were still running bout when he caught her eyes. 

           “Casper Fergus.” His name left her lips, repeating it as if she were storing it to remember his name and face for when they meet again. Given that they were both there, there was no doubt that they wouldn’t. “We haven’t.” Given that she was new. “–Elena Reynolds.” She replied as she watched him. Slightly amused by his boldness. She wondered how long he had been here. He seemed to know his way around and tricks here and there if he’s stashing pill. “My lips are sealed. I’m good, though.” She declined. “Ill just observe. You have your fun.” She slightly chuckled. “You certainly know how to make an entrance. An amusing one.” She commented on his boldness on just taking out the pills, just like that. Who was his provider that was the question at her mind. 

Sitting crosslegged with his back against the chair he’d just put his pills back into, Casper nodded. “Elena’s a pretty name. Suites you.” He pointed out with a grin. He wasn’t completely down off his last high but he didn’t want to do what he had the other day. Throwing up pills was a waist of a good high. He had to take it a little slower and show off some self control. Even though, clearly, Casper lacked any self control. He was bad at holding back. He always had been. The two pills Elena and rejected felt heavy in his pocket. Like two small weights that begged to be taken down his throat. Casper shoved his hand across his buzzed hair and slipped it back down against his jaw. Taking two more wouldn’t make the first two kick in any faster. It would just fuck him up to the point where he might throw them up. Better to focus on her than on those little weights. 

“Oh yeah?” Casper asked as he cocked a brow at Elena. “After years of being super fucked, I’ve come to realize that being shameless gets you a lot of what you want a lot faster.” He pointed out. “And, it has that added bounce of making a really good impression like ninety precent of the time.” He explained as he sat leaned his elbows on his knees and chin on his hands. “I really don’t want you to talk this the wrong way.” Casper started. “But yo remind me of a tweaker I used to be friends with. She was way too pretty to be in all the fucked up places we crashed in.” He went on, eyes flicking across Elena’s face as he spoke. “And you just seem way to pretty to be stuck in this hell hole. Not that pretty people can’t go to hell. I am here after all.” Casper sat back again and laughed lightly at his own joke. “Just- You’ll see what I mean. People look like zombies around here. It’s pretty fucked.”

[roxtless-tree]

literallybites:

“Addiction is a bitch.” He may not know DRUG addiction, but his blood addiction was something he struggled with, too. When it came to drugs, Dexter had a personal gripe about them, but he didn’t let that bleed through. The only person he was ANGRY at over the drugs was the dipshit that murdered his brother. Even now, Dexter wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t feel anything but anger. Was it because someone else had killed Sebastian before he had the chance? Or was it because Sebastian was the only person he had a connection with? The only person that made him feel almost human. He had blocked out that day, but sometimes the memories hit like a freight train. Most people still didn’t understand how he could sit there and continue to play video games while his half of his brother’s skull was missing – and honestly – he had no idea, either. It was a mystery. Just another interesting factor in his very fucked up mindset.

How did he BOND with people? That was a good question. One he didn’t particularly have an answer to. He didn’t go out of his way to bond with someone. He rarely showed emotion. Bonding would require human interaction and he’d rather avoid that at all costs. “I don’t.” Was the only response he gave the other. If he was looking for someone to bond with, he’d have to look elsewhere. Dexter’s interest in Casper was strictly business. He gave him blood. That was the only thing that mattered. They may share similar interests like ADDICTION, but they would always be on two very different levels. He backed Casper up to the nearest wall, positioning his body against his while his mouth worked the blood out of his wrist.

His eyes ROLLED at the sparkle comment, his teeth sinking in deeper as if to prove a point. His teeth weren’t naturally pointy, but getting bit still hurt. His free hand moved to press against Casper’s mouth, hoping to stop him from speaking in the future. He preferred the silence and he wasn’t into vampire jokes. He never even considered himself a vampire. He didn’t burn in the sunlight. He didn’t think of himself as IMMORTAL and he’d never sharpen his teeth into points. His eyes fall closed, his tongue lapping over the wound a few more times before he pulls back. It’s not enough blood to make him sick, but it was definitely enough to cure his craving if only for a little while. “First. I’m not a fucking Twilight character.” He brought his hand to his mouth, wiping traces of blood from his lips. “Second. If I WERE, you’d be dead.” He removed his hand from Casper’s mouth, giving him a a firm shove to the chest, making sure he hits the wall even harder than before. 

Shrugging, Casper said nothing to the point about addiction. It was the price of drug use. He’d pay it over and over again if it meant he could keep using. If it was a bitch, well, so was he. To be fair, Casper had made peace with that a long time ago. He was probably worse than addiction. He was pretty much useless without something running though his veins. The only thing he ever wanted to do sober was die. He wanted to do everything but die when he was high. So he’d take the massive pain in the ass that was addiction. Hell, without it he wouldn’t stop. If someone told Casper he could quite it all and not feel any pain, and there would be no push to go back to the drugs, he wouldn’t. God no. That high was just way too good. Huh... Maybe addiction wasn’t a bitch. Maybe he was just a bitch. Maybe they both were. 

A small smile did pull up the corner of Casper’s lips as the other man spoke about his lack of bonding. “Thats what I thought. Little psyco’s on red level don’t make friends, right?” He teased before the hand clamped down on his mouth. He gave a muffled whine as Dexter’s teeth pushed deeper into his wrist. Not that he minded. With Dexter’s warm body pressed against his normally cold one and the prickles of pain that were flicking up his arm, Casper was enjoying himself. Probably too much. He sort of loved how pretty Dexter looked sucking at his wrist like it was his life line. He looked like nothing else in the world came close to blood. Which was cute. Casper couldn’t imagine blood could be anywhere close to his Crystal. Sure it was Dexter’s addiction. Dexter was getting his fix but god, if he thought this was a high he had no idea. Casper couldn’t help but wonder what Dexter would be like if he was off his ass on Crystal or even just coke. It’d be entertaining, that was for sure.

“Hit a sore spot did I?” Casper asked as Dexter wiped his mouth. He grunted when he was shoved back and hand to reach out with his other hand to steady himself. “Always so fuckin’ rough with me.” He pushed himself up and started to walk past Dexter. He took a few steps and turned around to look at the guy, walking backwards as he did. “You wanna come with me or are you going to just stand there and wait for whatever fuck was put in charge of watching you all day go find you?” He asked slowing down just a little. He really needed his meds. They were back in his room and that seemed like miles away at the moment. Having some company might make the walk shorter. Besides, Dexter was pretty entertaining. Even if he was mean, he was pretty to look at.

[roxtless-tree]

caringcorruption:

Narrowed eyes traveled from hair-to-shoes of the boy that had walked into his office as his heel tapped the front of his desk. CASPER the file had said his name was. the one he’d only bothered to skim because really-files were for doctors who couldn’t use their own instincts when it came to their patients. Not that this boy was one of his, however. 

He sighed slightly when the boy flopped down onto his couch, offering a tired chuckle. “We’ve never met,” he agreed, ignoring the way the boy greeted him. “I’m Dr. Callahan. You’re moving up in the world, Casper. I only see RED level patients, most of the time.” His smile turned wolfish. “Not sure you’re moving in the right direction, truth be told.” It wasn’t a good thing, when patients were sent to him instead of their regular doctors. 

“Unfortunately, we passed ‘get this over with’ awhile ago,” ashe hummed, tone jovial. “So you’re going to have to develop some patience for me and settle in, Casper. Why don’t you tell me what you’re on, first of all? And maybe why you’re covered in bruises.”

Throwing his arms up over his head, Casper crossed one foot over the other. He was in what he liked to call a sweet spot. His mind happily buzzing right in that perfect, warm, tingle, of his high. He was no longer going up but he wasn’t anywhere near coming down either. The benzo’s and oxy’s he’d been taking sometimes left him the sweet spot for a long time. Six hours. More. Although, over the last few days he had fucked up and over shot it a few times. Not now, nope. Now he was just floating. 

The news that Callahan had, until this point, only really meet with red level crazies did make Casper’s head turn. He raised an eye brow at the man. “Am I moving to red level?” He asked. It wouldn’t actually surprise him if he was. Since getting here he’d beaten another patient. Beaten a guard and nurse with Dexter and broken into the medical supply closet twice. Not that anyone knew about the second time. Shrugging, Casper lay back. “Not that it matters. Same building same fuckers.” He pointed out, a grin hanging on his lips. 

Pulling a bit of a face, Casper shook his head a bit. “On something?” He’s lips broke into a large smile. “I don’t know exactly what they give me every morning and night. You’ll have to ask the nurses.” Casper cooed out innocently. As if he didn’t know exactly what they gave him. As if he wasn’t fucking flying at the moment. “Got into it with another crazy. No big.” He promised. After all, he had told Dante that he wasn’t going to rat him out and he wasn’t. He’d run out of his stashes in time and then he’d need Dante again. 

[roxtless-tree]

xspcwn:

              DAY TWO: Elena has been there for two days thus far and while she didn’t mind being closed in or own her own, she could see why some people would be driven more mad than when they first come in. She hoped to see someone in charge soon as she had a couple questions on what she can and can’t have as far as it came to her belongings. Although it would probably be a night staff, after all it was already night. The 48 hours were almost up and she wore the clothes that were provided until her own clothes her were all approved. Tank top and sweats. ( The top seem a bit smaller than her usual size. ) Her curls was still damp from her shower, a chill going up her spin but it was nothing she couldn’t deal with.

             The brunette sat as she hugged her knees. Eyes voided of emotions other than a bored expression as she stared at her father on the screen. LADY BLOOD. A not so creative nickname whatever reporter had put on her. Who even comes up with these stupid serial killer names? Though there was no lie to it. She was a lady by title and birth and if she were using her mother’s maiden name it would be BLOOD.  “–Pathetic.” She mutter out loud, her father putting up a show of a concerned && lovable father who will do everything in his power to help his daughter get BETTER. 

           The word Love is something he will never understand. She didn’t even believe he loved her. Although love wasn’t something Elena was greatly versed in either. Too many people had hurt her, betrayed her…and as for herself? Well, no, she wanted to be alive, that didn’t necessarily mean she liked herself.  I should have killed him. The thought alone seemed so loud with the room being slightly empty. 

As a general rule, Casper was completely unaware of his surroundings. He had a one track mind when it came to most things. Which had lead him to losing a few of his stashes because the guards kept walking up on him while he was taking some pills or searching for the baggie he’d hidden them in. He was in short supply. A few in his room still held out and there was one stash he hadn’t touched yet because it was hard to get at without more than a few people seeing. Although, today there was only one other person in the rec room. So he took his chances. Walking across the room, and past a girl he’d never seen before. Or at least Casper thought he’d never seen her before. She was way too hot to forget. Well, at least thats what he thought. His memory was also horse shit so maybe he had seen her before. Either way he dropped to his knees in front of the chair he’d hidden his pills in and flipped on to his back.

Glancing across his own chest at her, Casper smiled. “Casper Fergus, I don’t think we’ve meet.” He reached over his head and slipped his hand under the chair. There was a mesh lining on the bottom of it and he slid his fingers to the hole in the middle. “M’just getting my fix. Willing to share if you don’t tell anyone.” He pushed his hand into the hole and pulled out a small bottle of pills. Which he then sat up with. Carefully he poured four of them out in his hand and the capped the bottle and put it back. If she wanted some, he’d take two. If she didn’t he’s save two for later. “Oxy and a benzo. Been tripping on them for days.” He shook them in his palm a bit and moved to sit in the chair across from her before taking his two pills. He could dry swallow just about any size pill at this point. “You want them or not?” Casper asked as he held out his hand towards her. 

[roxtless-tree]

caringcorruption:

     It wasn’t very doctorly, he supposed, to be sitting on the edge of his desk, one leg swinging while the other was curled to ashe’s chest. He had a perfectly good chair in his office. Had a perfectly good place to sit and a nice couch that he’d fucked on more than once. But here he was, perching like a bird and not far from p r e e n i n g like one. 

     A knock on his door had him looking up, though he didn’t shift his position. “Come in,” the doctor invited, putting his files to the side and hugging his leg. “Don’t be shy. I haven’t bitten anyone all day,” he laughed amiably as the door opened. 

The few times that Casper had ever been to see a doctor here, of any sort, it had been mandatory. Now was no different. Normally he’d be headed to see Doctor Grant but apparently he was all booked up for the day. Which meant that he was seeing, oh fuck... What was his name? The guard had only told Casper about twenty times what the guys name was and now he was totally blanking. Fuck. 

Either way his guard knocked on the door and pushed Casper forwards into the room. He was high, as always, and bruised. The right side of his face still purple and green from Dante. His lip healing well but not all the way healed. “Sup doc.” Casper greeted. “Yikes sounds like a dull day.” He plopped down on the couch and lay himself out like he owned the place. Getting comfortable was something Casper was pretty good when he had a nice buzz going. “I don’t think we’ve actually meet. But I could be wrong. I’ve been told my heads kinda like a bag full of cats. Casper Fergus. By the way.” He looked over at the doctor, smiled. “Can we just get this over with?”

[dylob]

[roxtless-tree]

iniquitousdante:

The kid was DRAINING. In some ways, Dante had regretted letting him into the holy grail of medication, but it also presented a bit of a BLACKMAILING option. Sure, the guard’s job could be on the line, but Casper being a patient – a new patient – the rest of the staff was not going to take that boy’s word over his own. Keeping hold of power and exerting it was becoming too easy of a pastime. In fact, Dante was SEARCHING for excuses to find more trouble. That was the only way he got off, which was probably why he unlocked the coded area in the first place. That was the thing about his title in a place like Saint Dymphna – Dante could do ANYTHING and would never be questioned. 

Frequently, his own boss would OVERLOOK any signs of abuse or misconduct. Anything that had been inflicted was allowed when it came to Dante. Whether that be because he was hired by a close friend and due to his connections he was safe, or because the hassle of paperwork to cover the hospital’s ass was far too much – both were equally viable options, weighing them back and forth didn’t seem like much of something to bother with. Instead, the brunette accepted his job and easily BENT rules as something he could take for granted – something he could push to the limits and see just how far he could spill over the edge.

Levelheadedness – well, there were specific times in which the brunette had thought he was at the point in his adult life where he’d reached the ultimate BALANCE. Perhaps it was with his ex girlfriend, or maybe with Jacen that he felt that happy medium. But the more he invested thoughts in the nature of it all, he realized it was not as such. Trying to keep himself in a prime mindset was exhausting. Dante didn’t extinguish too many emotions and that was probably why the only thing he wanted to do was see someone get hurt. Fear and pain were an ELIXIR to the other emotions he felt and he held onto that, unable to have a fiery desire to exhibit anything else. That was, perhaps, why many of his relationships failed. They wanted more of a loving, eloping ROMANCE and Dante didn’t know how that worked. As for faking it – well – the man was never really good at being a liar.

Evidently Casper was in the process of trying to push the guard to the BRINK. It wasn’t going to be a breaking point for Dante, though. He may get violent, but his voice didn’t shake upon the impact of its booms. The man had gotten quite talented at holding himself together and despite the physical altercations, his real anger was mostly triggered by the times he was letting himself go for too long and needing a good fuck. And thankfully it wasn’t that hard to find a cadaver that would let him use them for the night and DISPOSE of them in the same day. People at bars, other guards ( if he was that DESPERATE ) and the occasional fool at the club gravitated towards Dante. He couldn’t tell if it was because his hand had found HOMES on their skin or if he was that magnetic. What Casper didn’t understand was who he was up against, and unfortunately for the boy before him, the brunette didn’t have much desire to show him that either. Dante didn’t just SLUT around. He hunted his prey.

Fucking Casper was the LAST thing on his mind. Fucking him up however? Yeah. Beating him up would be nice. Especially because it would put them on different playing fields. Dante advanced, his hand taking the scruff of Casper’s shirt into a ball and forcing him to his feet, the other in a fist went slamming into the younger’s stomach, the addict’s back lashed into the wall, echoing the entire hall. The same rock of acceleration went flashing into Casper’s jaw, a SHOCK spazzed up Dante’s arm and it felt like decades before he heard the crushing of the other’s teeth ramming together in anguish. He didn’t need the boy to back him up when it came to the after effects of what was going to happen. There was no fun in that. But what he was doing wasn’t sufficing. And why?

Abuse wasn’t exactly the sort of word most people thought of fondly. For most it was negative. Abuse was something most people had forced on them. It ruined there lives and for some landed them in a place like this by no fault of there own. Abuse for Casper was one of his favourite words. Mostly because it so often followed the word drug. And he did love to abuse drugs. Loved to stuff them in his veins and down his throat and breath them in as much as possible. He’d been using and abusing ever drug he could get his hands for ten years. HIs Crystal had only come around in the last two years of all that but before here their were others. So many others that it was hard to come up with a drug that Casper hadn’t tried at least once. Crystal put them all to shame though. She’d take his abuse and love it. So he’d take hers right back and love it. Abuse was good. Abuse was high. Casper might as well have been addicted to abuse. 

Why should physical abuse be any different? It wasn’t. Not really. Not for Casper. In the past when drug dealers or there lackies had beat him up for not having the right money at the right time, they’d always hated just how turned on Casper got by the whole thing. Physical abuse, pain, the feeling of skin on skin was just down right sexual for him. He couldn’t explain it or put what happened in his head into words. He loved it. His body thrived on it. That only went double when he was high. People, in the past, had called him nuts for it. People had called him crazy for a lot of reasons. The fact that he could cry, because he did feel the pain as pain, and be hard at the same time just really threw people for a loop. It had stopped a lot of beatings in the last. No one wanted to beat the weird tweaker who got off on it. Just another abuse that Casper loved. 

Well, sort of. Pain really was a hate, love, sort of thing for him. He still felt it. Hurt from it. His brain still told him to leave the situation. To either run or fight back but something else, in the back of his head loved it. It was the same sort of feeling he used to get when his parents would beg him to stop using. He knew they were right. He was killing himself. Ruining his family. But in the back of his mind that little voice reminded Casper how much he loved to kill himself. How much he loved getting high. How much more he loved the abuse than he did his family or anyone else for that matter. Casper supposed pain was the same sort of thing. He loved what killed him. Loved what hurt him. That was just the way he was wired. Or the way that drugs had wired him. Or maybe that was just how he’d always been. He’d been fucked for so long it was hard to tell anyone. What was Casper and what was abuse.

A low laugh fell from Casper’s lips as the first hit came at his stomach. His laugh cut off short as he wind was knocked out of him. A spray of pain twisted in his gut as he gasped for air and pushed his hands against Dante’s arm as if he was going to fight back but he wasn’t really trying. He’d offered himself up as a living, breathing, punching bag and he didn’t care if Dante beat him to death. He twisted back against the wall and drew in one deep breath before Dante’s fist hit his face. He felt his lip split and tears sprang up in his eyes. His face and body flushed bright hot as adrenaline hit his body hard. He felt his throat tighten and the pain in his jaw throbbed as he stumbled back and then fell forwards. It had been a long time since Casper had anyone really lay into him like this. He was hard and he was crying. His whole body was shaking and part of him wanted to take off but

He fucking loved what killed him. 

For a moment he just stayed on all fours in front of Dante. His world spinning, his ears ringing, and his lip bleeding down his chin, down his neck. He blinked a few times as the sounds of his own crying hit his ears. Casper was suffering. His chest hurt. His stomach hurt. HIs face felt broken but he was sure it wasn’t. Wrapping one arm around his stomach, he pushed himself up with the other and leaned back against the wall to keep himself up right. His whole body shaking. “M’sure you’re not done.” He managed to get out in a low gasp. He tried to draw in a deep breath but winced and gripped his stomach where Dante’s first blow had hit. He leaned his head back against the wall and looked at Dante, tears still rolling easily down his cheeks. You look pathetic. You are pathetic. 

[roxtless-tree]

literallybites:

“You ran into me hard enough that it nearly knocked you off your feet.” Then again, this WAS Casper they were talking about. He probably had no balance to begin with. And from the looks of it? It looked like he was coming down from a high. Or perhaps he was seeking one out. Withdrawal was a bitch. They tried to do that detox shit with him when it came to blood, but he didn’t quite suffer the same symptoms. A blood detox was terrible. They’d remove some of your blood before giving you a transfusion to replace the blood. It was meant to clear out disease, but Dexter had been lucky. He hadn’t faced a situation where he was forced into a position where he had to deal with a disease. But if he didn’t start screening people better before he BIT them, he may end up having to deal with that in the future.

His head tilted to watch the other boy, eyebrow arching in the process. “It takes more than beating some guards to get on my good side. If you wanted to BOND, you should have just said so.” But they clearly had other interests. Dexter was into violence and blood. Casper was into drugs and.. well, drugs. “At least you know where your priorities lay.” He’d only feed from him if he was sober. Even if he was suffering from withdrawal, it meant his blood was clean. At least for now. Things would have been easier if he had some sort of weapon, but his teeth were more than enough. He brought the other patient’s wrist to his mouth, teeth sinking into skin. He bit down harder than he normally would have, a soft groan leaving him at the taste of blood slowly filling his mouth. Using his teeth wasn’t as good as using a blade, but it still had the same effect. As long as he got his BLOOD, he couldn’t say he cared much.

“Yeah well, years of drug abuse.” Casper shrugged, his tone light as he started walking with Dexter. If he’d been the same size as he was when he first joined university, he still probably would have fallen over running into Dexter. He didn’t have much balance to start with. The fact that he was under weight (although he was putting on a few pounds) just didn’t help any. Honestly, he’d looked far worse in the past. Before he showed up here at the hospital he’d been about a hundred pounds flat and that was simply because, like most tweakers, he didn’t feel hungry while on a meth high. It was normal to go a few days with out eating or drinking much. The only time he really slept was after the binging stopped working and he started to tweak. Even then it was hard. Then when he did crash, he slept for three days which didn’t leave much room for eating. Although when he woke up it was all he could think about. Food and Crystal. Maybe some water if his step mom forced it down his throat before he slipped back out to find his dealer. After all three days of sleep meant three days without a fix. He was a mess by then. 

Grinning as Dexter spoke, Casper shook his head a bit. “And how exactly do you bond with someone, Dexter?” Casper cooed out at him before the man took his arm. If Casper knew one thing it was how horrible withdrawal was. He knew that if he could help someone get a fix in, he would. A lot of addicts were willing to help each other out. He could remember having friends help him shoot up when his hands were too twitchy or shaky to do it himself. He could remember doing it for other people too. Popping pills together and sharing the same water bottle to get them down. The same lighter to smoke up. Addicts, they got it. Regardless of the drug of choice they where almost always willing to help. Well, as long as they had there own high on. 

Hissing lightly as as Dexter’s teeth pushed into his skin, Casper looked over at him and paused there walking. He flexed his fist to get blood to rush into his arm and hand. He lost nothing by giving Dexter a taste. Hell, if anything he gained a little bit of a rush from the pain of teeth. He breathed out slowly, his head feeling a bit fuzzy. Not from blood loss just from the prickles of pain that shot up his arm. It reminded Casper of shooting up and if nothing else turned him on. Would have been better if he was high. “So do you sparkle in the sunlight too or is that just a myth?” Casper teased as he tightened his fist and then let his fingers fall back before repeating the motion.

[roxtless-tree]

jay-the-toxicant:

Having experienced her own fair share of wretched days mentally, Jayson could somewhat understand how…overwhelming this might be for him. She had never confused a stranger with someone she loved before but there were plenty of times where things just didn’t seem real. One time in particular being the hours after committing double homicide and solidifying a place here. Jay could vividly remember sitting in a holding cell, completely covered in blood, dazed, exhausted, and sobbing. Not to mention the incredible amount of guilt and helplessness she felt. How could she be capable of something so heinous? Yes, her mother had been a horrible excuse for a parent let alone a human being but for Jay do end her life in such a horrifying way still ate away at her. 

The pain her mother had inflicted upon her for years still stuck with Jayson, evident in the way she flinched in response to Caspar only hugging her. He clearly had his own issues to deal with, problems that Jayson couldn’t fully grasp given the fact she didn’t know him. Seeing him cry though, that made her want to help him even if she didn’t know what exactly was the matter with him. Whatever his poison of choice is sure as hell held a tight grasp on him. That isn’t something Jayson is equipped to deal with properly but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to bring him back to reality. 

“H-Hey…” She tried to keep her voice even, not wanting to seem too angry or aggressive as that might just push him towards the edge even further. “Listen to me, you and I have never met. I’m Jayson Goldsworthy, a patient here just like you.” Maybe if she made it clear she is an entirely different person than who he believed her to be, that might make him snap out of it a bit. “You don’t need me because I’m not Crystal.” She spoke slow enough so he’d understand but not too slow as to make him feel inferior. Feeling his hand tighten on her caused her to flinch away again but this time react by using her arm to move his away from her. After getting free from his grip she stepped back, not wanting him touching at all since that’d only send her down a rabbit hole dark enough to probably land her ass in solitary. “I’m not Crystal!” She spoke with more certainty in her tone, wanting him to understand this fact.

It was funny, wasn’t it? That if you looked at his life, his family, the way he grew up, there was nothing. No reason for Casper to have turned out the way he was. No trigger to stur understanding from others. No, he had what looked like a perfect family. His father and mother might have been divorced but so were half the children in America’s parents. Most of them didn’t have a step mother that was wonderful as Casper’s was either. His half brother and sister were perfect, sweet, kids. His home was beautiful. He was sent to good schools, got good grades. Hell, Casper went to University for three months before his drug addiction overwhelmed everything. He had the skills to go places but Crystal ate that up and spit out pure joy and a numbness to everything else that Casper couldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give it up. Not for his perfect family, his nice home, his good university. Nothing was better than what Crystal gave him and that was just a fact. 

But, she was right. Crystal wasn’t a person. It was a drug. A needle in his arm. A warmth in his chest. A tingle in his throat and a bright blissed out brain. Crystal wasn’t a person. She had no heart. No mouth. No eyes. Casper couldn’t touch her, not really. She only touched him. Filled out every part of him. Wore him like a suit some days. And when she slipped away he felt empty. No, Crystal wasn’t in front of him. Jayson. She wouldn’t help him feel better. She wouldn’t take him away from going down. She wouldn’t fill him out. His grip on her arms loosened. Casper twitched and stepped back. His one hand going to scratch at his arm as soon as he stepped back. Leaning against the wall, Casper felt his head pound again. You took to many fucking pills. He pushed the heel of his palms to his eyes and shook his head. 

“It’s not enough. It’s not enough. They don’t make me feel good enough.” Casper started to shake, a chill rolling across his body as tears flooded his eyes. His mood once again flipping. He shook his head as his hands dropped away from his face. A sudden feeling of being gross washed over Casper. He’d just vomited. Just grabbed some girl in the hallway and he was sweating despite being cold. Looking over at the- Jayson, her name was Jayson right? Not Crystal. Crystal wasn’t a person. She was a thing. The most beautiful thing on this goddamn planet. “I need to shower.” He grunted and pushed himself off the wall. His legs a bit wobbly as he started to walk past her down the hallway. Part of him knew that he had hidden some more pills in one of the shower stalls. Part of him that if he took more that probably wasn’t the best plan. But what sort of tweaker would he be if he wasn’t sort of thrilled with the idea of ODing. Die doing what you love, right?

[dylanholyhellobrien]

I mean butt shots from movies or Paparazzi. Do you have any on your blog? I'm lusting for his butt 🙊

This I understand! Fuck J.Lo’s ass, Dylan’s is the one that should be insured. Dylan’s body is a gift to mankind in every way but that damn butt of his can seriously only be sculpted by the gods. Jesus.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have anything on my blog atm but you know what? I’ve just made a few gifs and now I’ll turn this answer into a Dylan O’brien’s ass appreciation post, I hope you like it! Because I sure do. Look at this:  

[roxtless-tree]

🌦

Longing:Christ alive, Casper is almost always longing for one thing and one thing only. His Crystal. He needs a shot to his veins like a hooker needs a good pay day. Every moment of every day a small voice at the back of his head reminds Casper of how much he needs a fix. Even when he’s high on pills, on anything that wasn’t meth, he longed for it. It never goes away. Day or night. It doesn’t matter if he’s have a good day or bad day. He is longing for his Crystal. She takes everything bad and makes it. Takes everything good and makes it amazing. He is forever longing for her sweet high. 

[roxtless-tree]

👻

Afraid:

When Casper is high, he is fearless. He believes that he can do anything. He is superman. No one can touch him when he’s high. That’s part of the reason he’s so scared to be sober. When he’s sober all the the things he’s scared of come running back to him. He ends up not wanting to move or speak to anyone when he’s sober. Casper basically hides when he’s sober and afraid. He just curls up somewhere and hopes he’ll either fine the energy to get a new high going or just die. It doesn’t help that when he’s depressive he doesn’t feel much at all and when he’s manic he’ll just at any loud sound.