They were alone again, finally. No James, no Peter, no Lily to pretend not to notice. Just the two of them, curled in the wide windowsill seat, knees touching.
Remus hadnât spoken for a while, arms wrapped around himself, his expression unreadable.
Sirius waited. He always waited with Remus. It used to frustrate himâthe way Moony never just said what he felt. But now, he understood. It wasnât silence. It was construction.
âI donât think I know how to picture the future.â
Sirius looked at him. âYou mean after Hogwarts?â
Remus nodded slowly. âFor everyone else, itâs N.E.W.T.s and Ministry placements and flatshares in London. But for me, itâs justâŠ. a big blank space. All I can think about is the moon. Every single month, for the rest of my life. And the people Iâll eventually drive away because of it.â
âI feel like a burden,â Remus admitted softly. âEven when no one says it. Even when youâespecially youâgo out of your way to never let me feel that way. Itâs still always there.â
Siriusâs voice came quiet and immediate.
Remus looked up, eyes raw.
âThen Iâll carry it.â
Remus stared at him, and Sirius shifted a little closer, hands gripping the ledge.
âI donât say things right,â Sirius said. âI throw them around like hexes. But MoonyâMerlinâI feel them. Iâve felt them for so long.â
Remusâs throat moved like he was swallowing something thick.
âI didnât want to say anything,â he said. âBecause if this is just comfort, or a phase, orââ
âI donât think Iâve ever looked at you and not loved you,â Sirius continued, a little shaky. âIt was just easier to call it friendship until I realized I couldnât keep pretending.â
Remus let out a breath that was half a laugh, half a sigh. âThatâs the most terrifyingly brave thing you have ever said.â
âIâm shaking in my boots,â Sirius deadpanned, and Remus finally smiled.
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