taurful cuddle indulgence

🐐 Pavel / M / 20↑ / 🜘 🐞

[crazysodomite]

⚳ ⋅ Absorbent ⋅ Biaxial (−) ⋅ 고려사람 ⋅ Furry ⋅ Taurful

Not a native english speaker

Posts might be suggestive

No zionists, no russian nationalists, no transphobes, no proship

website - ko-fi - furaffinity - sheezy.art

[pennaraptor]

this is DVD and Bluray

[pennaraptor]

this is them now - feel old yet?

[savedgame]

ok

[crazysodomite]

Doing a really boring 100 day Minecraft survival challenge by just building a hut and living off of bread and doing nothing else

[crazysodomite]

I'll still work on comms even though I'm being forced to marry a stranger

[crazysodomite]

well

it doesn't matter what i want or don't want to do or what makes me uncomfortable because i don't have a choice

[crazysodomite]

i really thought things were going to go uphill for me after escaping Abuse Lady

[crazysodomite]

i don't even know what set of circumstances would ever make me feel "happy"

i'm not doing anything to be happy or free. i'm literally just doing things so i don't have to inhabit a living nightmare every day

WHICH IS VERY DISTINCT FROM "being happy" or "being free" ☝️

please note this fact

[crazysodomite]

my dignity and autonomy has been thoroughly destroyed with no chance of ever being restored

[crazysodomite]

i literally went here in the first place to AVOID having to do a sham marriage because that's always what my mom suggested

but now in the end that's still literally my only fucking option 😂

i want to cry and kill myself really badly right now

it's funny because it's not like i will be happy after this is done, i will just be safe-r, not safe, but safer than before

not happier, not more free, not more fulfilled or anything, still with no hope for anything better but ☝️ without having to be weighed down by my citizenship until i fucking die

which is still an improvement to be fair

at the cost of my dignity and peace of mind

[crazysodomite]

just imagining having to do it makes me feel terrible it's genuinely sickening

and what if i have to actually live with that person for 3-4 years to prove it's not a sham marriage?

God please just kill me

[crazysodomite]

i feel sad that i have to do this because there are basically no other options unless you're rich as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[crazysodomite]

at what point do i get to claim that dying is better than doing this for the next 3 years with no option to stop without basically losing all progress towards citizenship

[crazysodomite]

i feel sad that i have to do this because there are basically no other options unless you're rich as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[crazysodomite]

my mom sold me to one direction 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[crazysodomite]

i mean logically i dont NEED to do it because i can stay on a work permit

but i'm going to need permanent residence citizenship in the future FOR SURE

so i will need to do this sooner or later anyways

[crazysodomite]

i NEED citizenship. as soon as humanly possible i need a different citizenship.

the fact i can stay in a different country by some other means doesn't really matter to me because i need a different citizenship ASAP

i dont need work visa, i dont need student visa, i need citizenship

and getting citizenship is extremely difficult unless you're doing marriage

[crazysodomite]

i mean logically i dont NEED to do it because i can stay on a work permit

but i'm going to need permanent residence citizenship in the future FOR SURE

so i will need to do this sooner or later anyways

[crazysodomite]

they really should add realistic color mixing to photoshop

[crazysodomite]

i think it would be interesting to try to mix colors like traditional art but in digital

but you can only really do that in rebelle lol

it seems like it would be easier to understand colors when you actually have to mix them instead of trying to pick on the color wheel or sliders