late nite vent 🚬
UUUUH hi, has it really been a year (It has)
I was avoiding everything for a reason but I didn't mean to vanish like that. people who tried to check if I was okay/alive, sorry for worrying you
I got hit by multiple tragedies and other life ruining shit. It's still ongoing, it just kept getting worse. every time I begin to semi recover or heal from one thing, a new even worse thing happens..... the repeating, futile pattern really messed me up.
I always had this problem (habit? coping mechanism? idk) where I isolate when stressed. so Ive been avoiding hobbies, relationships, everything. it's gotten really bad and destructive. the rot is taking over T_T
I want to get better. recently I'm making myself engage with things slightly more again, pick back up my hobbies, even trying to make myself draw and hang out again....even tho admittedly things seem kinda meaningless and pointless right now.
anyway, long way of saying I may be around again but in a weird on/off rusty kinda way. maybe things will improve in time.
anyone who read this I hope your life has been going better than mine lmao. see you soon, with any luck.