Pursuit of Happiness

Sad man cannot cry in place where man can see.

[cwote]

take care of yourself today and every day :)

[remanence-of-love]

[rubescubix]

Still miss you

I went to watch Spiderman today. I thought of you when I saw the movie trailer about dogs. You would've loved it. I would've totally taken to you to go see it. Then we would've walked Bixby. You love watching things about dogs. You love puppies. Lol I say that anytime that I can just so I can picture you saying it. I loved hearing you talk. I love your voice.

I know I said I'm over it. I know you definitely are. But it's hard. I think overall I am over us and over the relationship. But I'm not over reminiscing on the good times and how much I loved you.

[triste-triste-muerto-deactivate]

#1. She was the person who saved me from killing myself, I wanted to give her everything and make her believe she was the light of my life. I wanted her to know that I’d move mountains for her. My love wasn’t good enough

#2. She helped build my self confidence up from nothing after years of feeling like shit, I wanted to show her how much she meant to me and I wanted her to know I’d do anything for her. My love wasn’t good enough

#3. She was the woman I say myself having kids with, I wanted a family with her. She inspired me to be successful and to want to be someone in life. My love wasn’t good enough.

No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, no matter how much love I give it’s just not good enough. I will never be good enough

[spo0pypoop]

sucks to realize the pain will never stop it’s just a matter of how we choose to handle it

[anormaux]

[gdaymer]

is that butter

[ibnuprofen-deactivated20141007]

no it’s stonehenge

[polidics-deactivated20190402]

I can’t believe it’s not butter

[clarrkey-deactivated20240924]

This is the post I show people when they ask me what tumblr is. Over half a million people have connected with butter Stonehenge

[peelingmandarins]

me replying to messages 10 days late and blaming it on my busy schedule to hide the fact that my depression has me thinking simple correspondence is an actual workload:

[lilybouqet]

For a moment I believed you loved me too.

[rubescubix]

Stumbled upon this and i havent stopped replaying it

[xobeccaleigh]

I saw an online therapy website today and signed up. I have too many fucked up emotions and thoughts in my head that I’d be glad to talk to a counselor online. It ended up being so expensive, so I didn’t continue signing up. I wish I had someone in my life I can talk to about what I’m feeling. Everyone else in my life could care less.

[rubescubix]

I feel dis. My therapy was really helping but I couldn’t continue cuz my insurance changed and I’m broke.

[queerlysad]

[help-here-for-depressed-peers]

[rubescubix]

I miss you, my mahal. I can’t help but flip through old pictures of you and my heart still warms when I see your face. I feel my body ache, I just want to hear your voice again. I can’t help but form a smile when I imagine you saying bulaklak (flower)

It’s been nearly 8 months. I can’t wrap my mind around it. Although I know that our relationship was in such a decline for a while, I still wish I had more time, more opportunities to try harder. 

I want to write to you. But I don’t think it’ll do me or you any good. Because I would sit around waiting for a reply. And then I know I’d fall right back in love with you if you ever did reply. Not that I ever fell out of love with you though. I still do love you so dearly. 

Random - I remember when we lived together, some mornings before leaving for work I would stay in bed after getting ready and just stare at you sleep. Granted that sounds super creepy now that we’re not together but I enjoyed laying next to you, feeling your warmth, your breathing and then waiting super last minute to take the last possible bus to work without being late. I liked having you as a motivation to succeed, making you happy and not stressed because you didn’t have to take care of me. I wish you said you were proud of me more often though. I can’t remember it happening much but it’s okay. I’m pretty sure you were a lot of the times. 

[rubescubix]

I don't want anyone else. I just want tiff

[rubescubix]

Just like you did for me, i wouldve flown all the way out there for your graduation. To celebrate you and your hard work. To remind you that im so proud of you and always will be your number one fan. That throughout everything, at the end of the day you'll have me there to support you. But im not there. I'm not there to congratulate you and support you. I'm not in your life anymore.

I miss you so much. I dont know who i am without you.

[rubescubix]

It was supposed to you and me

But i fucked it all up

[rubescubix]

I kept hearing reggae music today and it reminded me of reggae shark. I miss you so much