Ya'll know damn well I hate doing this, but i'm in a bit of a shit situation in terms of my finances being taken. I'm just trying to make it through the month till my next disability check drops in.
$5 or even just a reblog is great ^-^
very horny idea of someone who has the kink who loves being teased, not allowed to snz but to just make a mess
so they one of their usual inducing tools and get to work
they love how depserate and hitchy they get from the back and forth feeling of the item inside. Feeling the inside of their nose swell to try and get the irritant out, then their nose starts to run.
very loose wet thin sniffles between hitches, their nostrils flare. Maybe their get a mirror so they can watch.
The twist the object as they push it in just a lil further and their hitches sound like hiccups, needy hiccups, hiccups like they're so so so close! but they pull back and leave themselves on the edge.
when they pull it out a thin line of snot runs down and they don't both to snort it back much. Seeing it makes them groan and put the tool back in but this time they use the other nostril. Same routine, constantly teasing themself.
They squirm, whine and whimper as their snot leaks from both nostrils- that are getting a little pink- down to their upper lip
maybe they'll give themselves a little relief? just a little.
They let themself snz two times and within those two times snot bubbles and oozes out, the rest that doesn't come out is trapped at the widely flaring edges of their nostrils begging for their chance of escape.
the mirror is covered in spray, with thin trails of mess attached lightly clouding the view of themself. but its so good they want more, the mes they're seeing isn't enough.
alien plant that tends to set root inside people's sinuses. it likes the damp and warmth! being afflicted with this parasitic plant is treated similarly to a common cold, since it's generally harmless but the irritation tends to cause a runny nose and sneezing. it can be pulled out once leaves start poking out of the nostrils, but it's quite painful and generally recommended to wait until it releases on its own upon maturing. and of course some poor fuckers are allergic to it <3
someone who hasn't been able to blow their nose all day for whatever reason. so they've been sniffling and snuffling slowly filling up their sinuses through out the day. the pressure is awful.
when they finally get home they don't care any more they need to blow NOW, just the thought of blowing is making their nostrils flare and run, sinuses are aching for relief
so they press down on their bridge and blow and of course its a heavy gurgling noise as the warm stuff goes down their face. Even if its not much its better, now they just need something to blow the rest into
so they're searching around their house with mess dripping down their face, but their nose is still making more. so they say fuck it and blow some more, this time into their hand. Now with their hand cupped to their nose they're still searching
when they finally find a box of tissues they relish in the glory of releasing the flood gates of mess
hello and welcome to a completely unscientific shitpost featuring a selected list of what I am deeming to be:
extremely snzfucker-coded plant species
aka plants from around the world that are either onto us (or one of us)
please do not reblog to non-snz blogs // Minors DNI (18+ blog)
Hi, I'm Leni and you may remember me from the post I wrote titled the snzfucker's guide to the snziest plants. I'm a plant ecologist and snzfucker (and generally just a huge nerd) and while this post will be based in facts, I'm about to be deeply unserious and mildly chaotic, so please enjoy. Or scroll on by if that's not your thing.
In this post you'll be introduced to:
Longleaf Pine (used to treat colds AND fight allergies - she's doing the most)
Pampas Grass (the feather duster of the plant kingdom with a kinky backstory)
Q-tip Tree (you'll understand why when you see it, I promise)
Handkerchief Tree (yes, that's the actual common name)
California Tree Poppy (aka the used Kleenex flower)
Let's dive in!
Longleaf Pine
Alright, first up we have Pinus palustris, commonly known as the Longleaf Pine that, by all appearances, seems to have evolved specifically for inducing. The dried leaves (needles) of this species have long been used for treating colds and other respiratory ailments, as they are high in Vitamin C and also acts as an expectorant (thinning mucous/clearing congestion). Dried leaves can be brewed into an herbal tea that is often mixed with peppermint and other beneficial, cold-soothing herbs.
Fun fact: Extracts of its pollen are widely used as the standard for pine allergy testing and immunotherapy in the United States. While many plants in the Pine family produce highly allergenic pollen, this particular species is less allergenic than its relatives, as its pollen is heavier and tends to drop to the ground instead of being light and easily airborne.
snzfucker rating: 10/10. This plant has it all, including cold + allergy lore + pine needles that are safe to induce with which truly just look like they've evolved specifically for that purpose. what? who said that?!??
Pampas Grass
Next up we have Cortaderia selloana or Pampas Grass. The resemblance to a feather duster is, well…do I even need to go on? Well, I'm going to go on an anyway. It's also an extremely allergenic, wind-pollinated grass. Ever seen comments of plants with people saying "haha wow even this photo made me sneeze"? Yeah, well, this plant is the perfect candidate for whatever...that is.
Fun fact: This widely cultivated and once popular garden plant was the subject of a kink-related urban legend dating back to the 1970s following claims that those who planted it in their front yards were identifying as a swinger household. As a result, its popularity plummeted - because people were afraid to plant it in their yards! Which, in my opinion, is good outcome, as this species is often highly invasive outside its native range (...I can neither confirm nor deny that this rumor was initially started by conservationists/ecologists).
snzfucker rating: 9/10. bonus points for being the feather duster of the plant kingdom + having kink lore + being extremely allergenic... but I've subtracted several points because, well, we hate invasive species in this house, folks.
Q-Tip Tree
Next on the list is Clerodendrum quadriloculare aka the Q-Tip Tree. I don’t think I have to elaborate on why this made the list. I think y'all should just look at the photo and nod along with me.
Fun fact: This species is a member of the mint (Lamiaceae) family, believe it or not! Many members of this plant family have invasive tendecies when introduced outside their native range. It's also known as the 'Starburst Bush' which is a pretty groovy name, in my opinion. Obviously, I'm going to stick with the alternative Q-Tip Tree.
snzfucker rating: 7/10. Its definitely got some "👀" qualities... if you know what I mean.
Handkerchief Tree
Yes, seriously. Davidia involucrata is known as the Handkerchief Tree because of its white bracts that flutter in the breeze like pinched handkerchiefs. Again...do I need to elaborate?
Fun fact: This plant takes up to 10 years to flower after planting! Well worth the wait, in my opinion. It's native to the woodlands of southern China and prefers... moist/wet conditions...😈 ...no, seriously, it does. I'm not just shit-posting here. Well I am, but...this is genuinely true.
snzfucker rating: 8.75/10. It's freakin' called the handkerchief tree, y'all. Spectacular. No notes.
California Tree Poppy
Last but not least we have Romneya coulteri aka the California Tree Poppy which bears such a remarkable resemblance to used tissues that folks will often post photos to gardening/flower-related Facebook groups asking others to help identify “this flower that looks like a bunched up Kleenex.”
Fun fact: This plant is native to California, and has the largest petal width of any wildflower in California! Plus, it smells very sweet - remarkably like apricots.
snzfucker rating: 8/10. Any plant that resembles a crumpled tissue is pretty darn snzfucker-coded if you ask me. Want to imagine your fav sneezing into a flower? This might be the ideal one!
🌾 🌼 🌲
I hope you enjoyed this silly little post. Feel free to reply/reblog with your thoughts/alternative ratings. I'll be back soon with another post about plants that have been used throughout history to treat colds and all the snience (snz science, hehe) behind it! 😊
A fairy fluttering under an unsuspecting nose; the tips of her wings teasing the rims of the nostrils with feather-light touches as they twitch and flare, particles of fairy dust trapped in the current as the unwary victim takes a deep sniffle—
Tfw you have a really obscure blorbo that you know Snzblr would go absolutely nuts over but you’re facing an uphill battle because currently the only media where your blorbo has the most amount of screen time is the one where he’s a child so it’s a bit of a hard sell
However because I am insufferably pedantic allow me to just clarify a couple things
In the current canon he’s roughly about 600 years old give or take depending on what point in the timeline you’re at
The Dofus cartoon and the Dofus movie show him at 7 and 10 years old respectively. He’s more of a side character in the cartoon but in the movie he’s been upgraded to full blown protagonist
There is an upcoming series that is supposed to come out later this year that basically continues his story a couple decades after the events of the movie
He doesn’t just take care of the reincarnations of his uncles; only one of them is his uncle and the other is his own adopted father who died right in front of him when he was a child. This guy had to become a full time parent at the age of 10. Thankfully it is strongly implied that they do retain their memories from their previous lives but it’s still fucked
He is maaaagic. Or at least he comes from a magical family. But he is almost never shown actually using magic for whatever reason.
Anyway that is all. Pls watch Dofus Book 1: Julith it is absolute peak cinema. I love you ♥️
Tfw you have a really obscure blorbo that you know Snzblr would go absolutely nuts over but you’re facing an uphill battle because currently the only media where your blorbo has the most amount of screen time is the one where he’s a child so it’s a bit of a hard sell
In my infinite wisdom as a human being, I’ve known about this for so long & have had access to it two separate times, yet never shared it. Smart.
Anyway, here’s your daily fix of Catherine Tate in the infamous scene as Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. The sneezes are apparently not always a touch included in the show, but I LOVE how they were put in.
I also could have just whittled it down to the good stuff but I rly like these exchanges & thought it wouldn’t make sense without the context ok
baratheonpilled
gracieabrams
gummygunk
dailybridgerton
andulkaphoto
