@clowncaraz - Tumblr Blog

glowingclitmagnetraccoongirl

(we did and the French stole our gold, Americans mock us to this day, and our presidents are elected through foreign influences usurping the throne.)

wolf-aid

The media blackout on Palestine coinciding with new bomb types dropped in a ceasefire tells its own story.

Nothing says "ceasefire" like a Thermobaric bomb. I guess "ceasefire" means something else down there than here... What pigs. They saw it as too hot and the temperature is too high, so they bombard us with heat generators. Damn them.

wolf-aid

We are still being attacked so brutally and powerfully, and no one looks or stands beside us, please stop what you are doing now, stop playing, stop watching movies, stop reading, leave them even for a few minutes, and see what is happening to us. We are still bombing, killing, and the world is silent that my father's health will not last any longer if we do not provide him with treatment he will not be able to live Please, if you read my words, please don't ignore and help me even once, please

captain-lazerbow

In Need of Help

@thebookwormgal @the-delicate-disaster After needing to move states away from my abusive job and family. I'm currently living with my Trans Masc Queer platonic partner and his mother. We are all unemployed and months behind on bills with no access to transportation. Please help where you can. We need $0/$2000

(Cash App) (Paypal) (Venmo)

getocakes

transmascfeminism

On transmasculinity as pure hypothesis

I know this screenshot is from a post from a couple of months ago but I want to put it in its own post because it’s so demonstrative of the kind of backwards reasoning these people use when it comes to trans issues.

When I say that both transmasculinity itself and transmasculine oppression are epistemologically neutered, this is exactly what I mean. Inequivocable proof of transmascs being unambiguously targeted for their transmasculinity (in this case, trans men of color being essentially tortured in ICE camps) is still inadmissible, because all this news proves is that a transfeminine person would have it worse. There is a rhetorical sleight of hand at play that substitutes the real, named transmascs in the story - specific and individual human people who relayed their own experiences in details firsthand - with entirely hypothetical transfeminine people not in the story at all. The transfem that the tagger imagined in their head for the sole purpose of dismissing anti-transmasculine violence becomes the real person, while the real and named transmascs melt into a mist and become purely hypothetical.

The nature of inhabiting transmasculinity in a world of history-long transmasculine epistemicide is that you are never taken as yourself, in your full living human body, with its discrete characteristics (whatever they may be), its history, its traumas, its unique positionality: you are never read as yourself because your ‘self’ is inherently illegible. Instead you’re like a text in an unknown language that others try to interpret comparing you to know quantities (even aberrant ones) and always finding you lacking in some way - less beautiful, less strong, less virtuous, less meaningful, less interesting, less valuable - because you are being graded on a system that is not just built without you, but rather built around your absence.

To make an example: Often I speak of the ways that growing up as a member of the female social sexgender class has shaped me in the person I am, and specifically the behaviors I have been trained and coerced into in order to escape additional punitive violence (on top of the regular violence being seen as a girl/woman gets you just to keep you subdued into the underclass). I have been taught to walk a certain way, stand and sit a certain way, to make way for people that register as men, to shrink myself around them, to fawn, to smile, to modulate my voice to sound submissive and placating, to defer to them, to apologize for speaking in the first place, to wrap my speech in conditionals and justifications, to make a show of doubting myself even when I’m sure of what I’m saying. This behavior is impossible to completely unlearn while living in a body perceived by others as female, because every step out of line is answered by a retaliation equal in proportion. You people would know about this if any of you listened to cis women. transitioning does not remove this behavior, certainly not instantaneously, and on top of that, having this heavily feminine-coded behavior and speech patterns while appearing even ‘imperfectly’ or ‘somewhat’ male is also grounds for punishment, more or less severe. You would think the people who talk all day of transmisogyny would be able to see this.

Now if I speak of this, I sometimes receive this response: but what about when you pass? When you look and sound and move exactly as a normative cis man does, won’t you have the space and opportunity to unlearn this behavior completely? will you still be claiming that your upbringing has shaped you so, ‘clinging’ to your AGAB? And that certainly sounds like a good argument, if you don’t notice the sleight of hand. If you ignore the fact that it is being told to me, a specific individual trans man with a specific history and body. I am 30 years old. I have been medically transitioning from a while. I do not look like a cis man or a cis woman or a transfeminine person - I look transmasculine. As of now, this much-discussed ‘male passing privilege’ has not reached me even remotely.

Now, because there is no cultural notion of what transmasculinity is or looks like, I am usually read as a medically aberrant and gender non conforming cis woman. At times I’m also read as a gender non conforming, queer, very young cis man, while some other times I’m read as transfeminine. In a few extreme cases where I do my best to ‘girlmode’ out of necessity I can even read as a quasi-normative cis woman, albeit an extremely quirky one. But I am never, ever read as a normative cis man. That has genuinely never happened to me. It is very possible that, due to a mix of my individual medical circumstances, my desires for my own body, and my sexuality and aesthetics, I may never happen. I may never move through the world as a normative (and straight) cis man on a regular basis. I cannot know that for sure because I have a hopefully long life ahead of me, but I certainly wouldn’t discount it as a possibility.

And still, to the person posing the argument of “what about when you pass”, my lived reality for my entire 30 years of life, which will continue to be my lived reality for the short and medium term future, is superseded by the specter of the entirely hypothetical, very possibly forever-inexistent, normative cis-passing straight-passing stealth masculine man they have summoned in their own mind to dismiss the real, present, firsthand testimony of my own lived experience. Their ‘headcanon’ of what I could one day turn into becomes more real than the living, breathing person I am.

If you’re wondering how can we get to the current year knowing so little of transmascs and having so little transmasc presence in history, art and culture, this is how.

transmascfeminism

I’m glad that this is resonating, I’d like to add two small points.

I was going to link the article with transmascs’ and other masculine AFAB people’s experiences in ICE camps, but I somehow forgot before hitting post. This post is lacking without that context, and the reader’s ability to go and read the experiences of the transmasculine people I refer to in it. This post has excerpts for accessibility and a link to the full article itself.

I am glad that people are adding their own experiences with their relationship to passing and what I in the post call ‘readability’. Adding more transmasculine voices to the pool of available knowledge always helps to fill out the void a little. I will not censor let alone criticize people who use this post to do so. However, I would like to clarify that this post is about the ontological and epistemological situation of transmasculinity itself, specifically how transmasculinity has always been so consistently and reliably erased from the human record because it has the particular quality of not being considered admissible as its own evidence. When I talk about some of the effects of quote-unquote ‘female socialization’ on my psyche and behavior, and the way my reporting this experience is automatically and as a matter of course dismissed by bringing up how my eventual potential ‘passing’ may negate these effects, I am doing so to provide an example about a larger phenomenon. The phenomenon, and not the example, is what’s important. For instance, someone in the notes (correctly) points out that even for trans men who perfectly pass, passing doesn’t negate their need for specific healthcare that cis men don’t need. That is unquestionably true. But the textbook response to this, according to the phenomenon I observe, would be to say: “well what about trans men who get phalloplasties and hysterectomies? Aren’t they trans men too? That means that you can’t claim that ‘needing access to gynecology/abortion/etc’ is a transmasculine experience!” Or if you say that transmasculine people experience medical misogyny as a result of needing gynecological care, they will respond: “what about cis women who are infertile? Or who are born without uteri? You can’t claim that needing gynecological care or abortions or experiencing periods means that transmascs will be treated misogynistically based on some functions of their bodies, because there’s even cis women who don’t experience that!” And so on forever. The point is that anything transmasculine people report about our own experiences can be dismissed by bringing up a hypothetical other person (a different transmasc, a cis woman, a trans woman, a NB person who isn’t transmasculine, the transmasc in the conversation’s hypothetical future self, his hypothetical cis woman version, his hypothetical cis man version, etc. etc. etc.) because our real material existence is seen as a hypothesis that is never fulfilled in reality, so flimsy and removed from the material texture of the world that the mere concept of any other person feels more solid than our living bodies.

I’d appreciate if everyone reblogged this version.

imstilltrying-ok

This phenomenon reminds me the way many conservatives treat transmascs, valuing the hypothetical cis woman that they could be. This hypothetical girl is more important than the trans man, and the trans man making changes to his own body and life is seen as an aggressor upon this cis woman (this goes into the idea that transmascs are 'double-bound' into both binary genders). Who you hypothetically are is more important than lived reality. I actually made a post about this last year.

The inability to look at transmasc's oppression as transmasc's oppression is also not a phenomenon reserved for trans spaces or discussion (not saying op said that, just expanding on it). It's been the experience of many of us; the ways we experience misogyny are proof (mostly cis) women have it bad. When we receive threats of physical aggression or experience exclusion for our masculinity, it's proof cis men have it bad. We can be skirted around, our experiences can be used for activism, but never for ourselves. Like op said: "there is no cultural notion of what transmasculinity is or looks like." If we don't exist, we can be ignored. If we try to exist, we are changed to fit the observers world view.

violent-autoandrophilia

Sometimes I feel like people think the patriarchy is copied and pasted, and you just have to add "trans" before "woman/man" and now you know how it works for trans people. But like. That sounds ridiculous, because we are not cis, it is not going to function the same

genderkoolaid

people hear "being trans isn't just being a cis man or woman but a little different" and immediately jump down your throat about how you are third gendering all trans people. & its like. take that up with patriarchy babe! its kind of fundamental to understanding patriarchy & transphobia to understand that the categories of "man" and "woman" are not neutral but heavily policed and defined around being physically and socially in binary opposition, and trans people are oppressed on the basis of violating these categories and their rules and thus the justifications for patriarchy. like how are you gonna call yourself a transfeminist materialist and then just copy + paste shitty cissexist materialism and get mad when anyone actually talks about transphobia as its own force under patriarchy & not just as a subsection of misogyny

rubbergloves

Polynesian tattoo artist Tavita Monea photographed in Return of the Tribal: Celebration of Body Adornment, Piercing, Tattooing, Scarification, Body Painting by Rufus Camphausen

Disclaimer: I don’t really think that IQ tests are all that great of a measurement in the first place. There’s also literally nothing wrong with having a lower IQ. But the meme is lowkey relevant to a lot of my experiences. Rather than intelligence, the main phenomenon is that I’ll talk about therian/transhuman stuff to some completely uninformed, but tolerant redneck and they’ll pretty much be like, “oh yeah do what makes you happy.” But if I have the same conversation with someone who calls themselves liberal/inclusive, they’ll start clutching their pearls at me.

moving out!!

we need to move out. pests, bad animal health, negligent homeowner, disabled partner's family. me and him need enough money to move out to a better place. donating helps but id like you all to buy my physical books or subscribe to my ko-fi membership so i can get a feasable income.

my ebooks are on sale until July 31st. please buy!

$325/825

Support Azriel Pierce monthly

Books by Azriel Pierce

me and my partner just spent around $1,000 today and we still lost the cat. its frustrating because me and him have NO money now. and he wasnt in pain, but we sure are. we held him when they did it. we dont have much. im sorry to keep asking but its all we have. the only mutual who is heiping has done a lot for me already and i dont want to press them if they cant help.

get a commission from me please. ill write anything.g

Support Azriel Pierce

OPEN WRITING COMMISSIONS

Commissions Open! Click to see Azriel Pierce's commission menu.

I barely do art nowadays, so I repurposed them into writing commissions. I'm on a $825 goal so I can move out of a pest infested home with my partner, currently I have raised $325, but I've only retained $100 of that due to expenses like minimal food, gas, and medicine for the dogs. Overtime, I've lost a lot of it to my savings as well.

I'll do any kind of writing, and I don't have a DNI as long as it isn't promoting physical bigotry against a group. Don't get me in trouble, and I don't care about your NSFT/kinks!

If you have a social media for your request, I'll tag you too.

transbutchsupreme

Can anyone help a black transfem with tech and stability for my teaching job? I only owe 250 in rent and need help with procuring a good computer. If I had to set a goal myself it would 750 for other bills and tech by August, when my class starts.

Please please consider helping me out financially to get my best foot forward as a small time educator. Thank you.

Current Goal: 0/750

Link to a post with all my pay apps and gfm info below:

Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your

transbutchsupreme

So its the end of the month. I sent out a couple of donations of 25 to friends, I refunded a donee 55, I've had to buy food and house supplies and just generally have made some silly mistakes with money transfers.

I have just enough for rent and my safe trip Friday but I'd like to ask for 100 more to pay on my electric because the heat and smoke has been keeping the air on daily. I also am low on food. Go figure. Its july 27th 😅

Okay don't hate me.

645/750

drew-booker-books

The Rules of Anti-Transmasculinity

1. Your body is not your own.

1a. Your body is a site for other’s desires.

If they want you to be beautiful, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they want you to be feminine, it is cruel of you to deny them that. If they think you should reproduce, it is cruel of you to divest yourself of reproductive duties.

1b. Your body is owned by the state.

Reproductive laws that can affect cis women also affect you, but you cannot weigh in on them, because you are not a woman.

Anti-trans laws affect you, but you must not bring this up; you are never the “real” target, even when you are, because you are not “really” trans.

When the legislation talks about “protecting” your fertility, you should feel lucky to be safeguarded from yourself.

- - -

2. Your experiences are not your own.

Your childhood does not exist. You cannot claim girlhood if you are a man, and you cannot claim boyhood if you did not grow up within it, and no other visions of childhood may exist. Your history, however you define it, is fundamentally incompatible with who you are.

Forms of sexism which are aimed at women, by a binary logic, cannot be aimed at men or mascs. If your experiences contradict this, either you are invalidating your identity, or you are appropriating womanhood.

It is your duty to blithely dissociate yourself from any trauma patriarchy may have inflicted on you. Men cannot be affected by these things even if it happens to them personally. A “real” man must be stoic and uncaring.

- - -

3. You are a “default” body.

You are to be assumed affluent, perisex, binary, and passing, with no legal or situational barriers to medical or social transition, and no reproductive concerns to speak of — unless your nonconformity can be used to dismiss you.

You are assumed to be able-bodied, sane of mind, white, and thin — unless your mental health or appearance is good for mockery.

You are to be treated as essentially cismasculine. Being treated as if you are cis is a compliment, even when it is erasing your lived experiences, and even if it is known and true that transfems have their own unique struggles from cis women too.

- - -

4. You are an “aberrant” body.

4a. Your body is a site of fascination. You (are presumed to) have a gestative capacity, and a fun extra hole. These traits are relevant when others assess your attractiveness and their kinks. They are not relevant in the context of your health. You’re a submissive little bottom, right?

(Your body is something to conquer and claim. This may be done to emphasize your femininity, deny your androgyny, or defang your masculinity.)

4b. Your body is a site of disgust. Any steps you may take to masculinize yourself are “ruining” your “female” features, regardless of any joy you personally take from the changes, and regardless of if you engage with medical transition or not.

(You are killing the woman you are supposed to be. Stand trial.)

4c. Your body is too unattractive to be sexually violenced. It doesn’t happen. When it does, you have anatomical privilege, because you are (presumed to be) in possession of a vulva, and victims with those are of course always believed. But it doesn’t happen, because you are essentially a cis man, and of course men don't get raped.

(It is not possible to be targeted for this violence because you are transmasculine. It is always misaimed violence, intended for someone else. Apologize to her for taking up her space.)

4d. Your body is a proxy for other’s ideas about activism. Womanhood is good, and manhood is bad, and things in-between are uncomfortable and hard to classify; therefore, a detransition back to cisfemininity would be a preferable state of being, wouldn’t it?

(Your transition is at odds with good feminism.)

4e. Your body is a joke. Men don’t menstruate. Men don’t gestate. Men don’t lactate. Men can't have breasts. If the suggestion sends people into hysterics, you must take it lying down.

(Remember; comedy is subversion, and you are an “abberant” body.)

4f. Your body is a hypothetical and not a lived reality. If men could menstruate or gestate, that would fix patriarchy. It would not result in men being denied at the door of the gynecology office, surely.

(To entertain your existence is a rhetorical inconvenience.)

4g. Your body is a source of put-down. You are a cunt, a pussy, a fembrained bitchmoid — and it isn’t sexist to refer to you as such, because you are a man. Your disinclination to be reduced to bioessentialist biogotry is simply proof that your masculinity is fragile. It is not proper for you to object to it, even when it is the same rhetoric spewed by patriarchy itself, and even if it would be equally galling to say to a woman, cis or trans.

(Have you not considered that your trans body is privileged under cis patriarchy?)

4h. Passing is universal to all transmasculine bodies and all life situations. Closeted, clocky, queer, or femme trans men and mascs cannot exist, and are not subjected to the same violence as women or other queer men. Legal gender markers don’t matter. Medical access isn’t a concern. People from your past cannot possibly be vindictive enough to out you, because queer or not, you have male privilege.

(Have you considered that you simply aren’t trying hard enough to pass?)

- - -

5. If you are inadequately masculine, pre-transition, nonbinary, or bi-gendered, you cannot “really” be a man.

Remember; you are a lost little girl when you need to be talked down to.

Remember; manhood and womanhood are diametric opposites, exclusive states of being.

Remember; poverty is not an excuse.

- - -

6. If you are inadequately feminine or too masculine, you cannot “really” be queer.

Remember; you are a “default” body.

Remember; you are essentially cis.

- - -

7. If you are too assertive or too unwilling to serve as a punching bag, you cannot “really” be a feminist.

Remember; men cannot be feminists.

Remember; men cannot need feminism.

Remember; your masculinity is most readily acknowledged when it provides a rhetorical threat.

- - -

8. If you really insist on your masculinity, then it must be in service to others. You owe them labor, defense, money, and deference.

You are not owed equality or reciprocity, because men are responsible for patriarchy. You are on the hook for the patriarch’s debt, and you are presumed to share his wallet.

(A man is a protector and a provider. I thought you wanted to be a man?)

- - -

9. Your interest in your own autonomy is indistinguishable from power-grabbing.

Your self-determination and self-advocacy aligns you with patriarchal interests, or is a sign that you are too battered by patriarchy to self-determine in the first place. Someone else must decide these things for you. Someone else must speculate on your motives. You do not get to speak for yourself.

- - -

10. Your inclusion and representation is not important.

10a. When you notice your absence from culture, art, and storytelling, others ask; why do you not simply project your experiences onto cis men? Remember, you are a default body. Surely you are different from other queer people who need direct representation.

(When you try to do that, you are classically fembrained and illiterate for thinking a given character could have transmasculine subtext or themes.)

Projecting onto cis women is akin to killing them.

Why are you not satisfied with mpreg fanfic?

10b. When you make your own art and stories, you are playing with dolls. It is unimportant, juvenile, and easily dismissed much in the way that people discuss teenage girls who act as culture-makers.

(If transmasculinity is not present in the world of art, it must be because it has no artistic merit.)

- - -

11. Your erasure is proof that you have nothing to offer.

The muffling of violence done to you or your brothers is proof that no violence occurs in the first place.

The muffling of you or your brother’s contributions is proof that none of you contributed in the first place.

The removal of your brothers from the historical narrative is proof that they didn’t exist, or that they never stood in solidarity with other feminists and queers.

Silence is proof that you need not speak.

- - -

12. Denying any danger that you may be in is affirmative to your masculinity, because men cannot be harmed.

There are no statistics that say otherwise if we never read them.

There are no patterns of abuse if we never speak of them.

There are no dead if they are recorded as femicides.

There are no victims if we do not speak their names.

- - -

These contradictory impositions are not aimed at transmascs alone, but they are the recurring patterns I notice as a transmasculine feminist. We are not the only ones in danger, but we are queer all the same, and all queerness is targeted under patriarchy.

So uh im a black trans lesbian and ive been trying to get a new job since the last one I had let me go for bullshit reasons, I was in a car crash in the work truck and wasnt the one driving but the guy who was didnt get canned, and I still havent found a new one yet and I need help paying rent since unemployment hasnt come in yet I need 1100$ by the 30th

0/1100

ca/vn: Smokeyquartz

palpey

kofi

75/1100

125/1100

good news yall! i have job lined up but it wont start til mid august please keep sharing and donating i REALLY dont wanna get me and my disabled gf evicted

175/1100!

Making a fresh new post!! I am $227 away from being able to pay my electric bill. It's only this high because of the endless heatwave. If we can get any amount to help lower this bill, it would be greatly appreciated. I'll show proof of paying the bill and this post will be made unrebloggable.

https://www.paypal.com/pool/9r2ORUs7En

Cash app: $candiedoranges

Venmo: @ candiedoranges

Please reblog!! Nothing yet.

Please reblog. Nothing yet

Nothing yet!! Pls rb