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@runwithhorses
christmas, the most wonder…wait.
for me, as someone who once let an eating disorder run her life and body image, the holidays aren't always the most wonderful time of the year. particularly christmas.
today, i am thrilled to say that i've kicked my eating disorder in the pants and i eat healthy for ME and what is right for my body. it's an exciting thing to feel great about yourself!
but amazingly because of it, i face a lot of criticism at christmas. while everyone is munching away on holiday treats or sloshing back the drinks, i'm usually pulling out my own healthy treats or loading up on the veggies not the turkey stuffing.
it's not that i want to shove my "healthiness" in other's faces. i simply love feeling in love with my body. i want to treat it well and feel great! and avoiding foods i'm allergic to or maintaining a healthy diet over the holidays is how i do that.
so SORRY, IM NOT SORRY!
my body and healthy diet is not something you get to comment on and pull apart and analyze. you don't get to make fun of me for choosing to feel great. and constantly telling a person they've lost so much weight which is great but could use a cookie or two is not a compliment.
i'm not ruled by food or the number on the weigh scale. i live to feel healthy and happy! so please appreciate me for the person i am, not the shape i come in or how i maintain it -- whether small, large, thin, curvy or flat because of carrot sticks or cookies.
i hope if you faced some christmas criticism this holiday season, you stay strong in who you are! what is right for you! and don't let anyone define you by a number or lifestyle that you don't want.
you are beautifully you and loved.
happy holidays, xoxo
"These are images from the catalog for Debenhams, a British department store. Don’t you wish every store expanded their ideas of beauty like they have?" (Via Upworthy.com) This is absolutely beautiful!
Leah Kelley is a beautiful model who represents the average women. She also has some wonderful things to say about beauty, self-esteem and being healthy!
What does being healthy mean to you? Your body knows more about you than anything else. Healthy requires listening to your body. If you’re hungry — eat, and if you’re not — don’t. If you’re tired –sleep. Evolution worked at this system for a long time, and we should respect it.
Check out the rest of her interview here: http://plussizemodelsunite.com/2010/08/08/leah-kelley-talks-about-self-esteem-health-shopping-her-definition-of-beauty/
livin' the life.
i learned something really important this spring, being healthy is a lifestyle not a time in your life.
it seems like a really simple concept, we hear it all the time. "wanna be thin, happy, successful? then do this and make it a life change!" but most of the time it's referring to some cheesy, quick scheme of happiness or losing weight.
but that's the thing! being healthy isn't quick, a fad or trend. it is a lifestyle. it has ups and downs, but it carries on through your life. and that's why you know missing a day of exercise or eating your grandma's christmas cookies is okay. because you have an entire lifetime of eating and living healthy ahead of you.
as much as it sometimes feels like it, our days don't stop when we go to sleep and restart the next day at zero. what i mean is, you freaking out over the calories you ate today knowing you didn't exercise them off is not worth it! you aren't healthy one day and not the next.
health is a lifetime. it carries over into each day. so if you enjoy yourself at a christmas party, that's okay! you're going to make healthy choices later. you can burn those calories off down the road and trust me you will.
so stop worrying about today. stop counting, calculating and comparing! instead recognize that you can live healthy and happy over a lifetime. your body will fluctuate just as life does and that's expected. celebrate in who you are now, the beautiful things in life and choose to continue making your health a positive and a priority.
happy holidays and christmas cookie cheer,
xoxo.
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING A BAD BODY IMAGE DAY:
1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.
There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body.
2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.
Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?
You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself.
3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body.
What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.
Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you.
4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.
Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.
Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.
You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you.
5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.
I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.
6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do.
The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.
Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts.
You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.
Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become.
8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.
Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out.
9. Do self care.
When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.
10. Be kind with yourself.
You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.
Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them.
***You have more power than you think—don’t let the way you feel about your body keep you from living.
Coping with bad body image days may not be easy, but it is possible.
Don’t give up.
You aren’t alone.
Things can and will get better.
borrowed from sprinkle of glitter's blog: http://sprinkleofglitter.blogspot.ca
we need the courage to learn from our past, and not live in it. - sharon salzberg
the objective test.
after a crazy third year of university, i have finally finished and arrived back home to spend my summer full of sunshine, summer jobs and awesome friends! so as you can expect, i was super excited to meet with some of my best girlfriends tonight for a dinner on the town. yet by the end of the night i was just super sad.
for most 20-something girls, get togethers always involve some sort of instagram, facebook photoshoot showing off who you are with and how good you look! oh boyyyyyy *eye roll*
i sat there tonight looking at how skinny and fabulous they all looked and felt super sad. i was having fun catching up, but felt really insecure about my body and didn't want a social media comparison of me and them. i was sad that i didn't have their body. i was sad that i looked plain. i was sad that i was going to be the "fat" one in the group photo again. and i was sad that i cared so much about this that it ruined my night.
so i decided i needed a change in perspective. you see, i'm studying law and in law we use something called the objective test. its when you consider what a reasonable person would do in a situation considering all the facts and surrounding circumstances.
now what would happen to a reasonable person with 6 full-time law courses, a brother diagnosed with cancer, a rainy (RAINY) city, an anxiety-eating disorder, zero down-time and no chance to see friends? likely gain some pounds during those 3 months.
i realized i can't judge my weight and my body based on the circumstances of my friends and how they look. i need to look at what MY circumstances are and recognize what's reasonable based on those facts for ME.
so yes. through these last insane, stressful three months i have gained weight. but that is reasonable considering. the great part? my circumstances have changed and so will my weight!
so here's to sunshine, summer jobs and still awesome friends. but more importantly, to realizing that these are new times, new circumstances, new facts and new opportunities to be the reasonable ME. and that's a beautiful thing.
what is your reasonable you?
xoxo
you are valuable because you exist. not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. - max lucado
i've got a stress baby.
the other day a friend pinned this website with tips how to beat your belly! the site names 5 different types of common belly shapes, why they happen and tips how to beat them. usually i'm pretty cynical of "lose weight" tips on the internet, but i almost died laughing when i discovered "the stress tummy".
the stress tummy describes me to a "T". over-achievers with perfectionist personalities who skip meals and can't sleep? yup.
well april is national stress awareness month. so i thought it was a good time to face the reality! and the reality is, a normal, healthy amount stress can be a good thing. it can keep you focused and responsive. but for most of us, our stress isn't normal or healthy but overwhelming and life-controlling. and when that happens, it can be extremely harmful.
for one, the site says,"when stressed, we produce cortisol, a hormone which encourages the body to cling on to fat around the stomach". not only that, but i've learned in several psychology classes that high amounts of cortisol kills brain cells!!
clearly, the less stress the better!
my stress comes from my eating disorder and the fear of gaining weight. so i often turn to not eating and over-exericising to manage stress. but the site talks about how this really isn't de-stressing you. to better tackle that "stress tummy" to lose weight they suggest practicing relaxing exercises such as yoga or weight training. and sleep!
and let me tell you, all this candle-lit, soft music, yoga time has been, well. blissful :)
so take some tips from hailey for your belly (http://haileyshelpfulhints.blogspot.ca/2012/03/tame-tum-spare-tire-or-stress-bulge.html) or just practice your own ways to de-stress but either way...
relax and love yourself, you deserve it.
xoxo
sometimes we get stuck on all our faults and choose to see only the negatives. but in reality, the world sees us as much more than that. the world sees how beautiful you are :) and you should see that too. xo
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