I wrote another post last night that apparently went into the ether. I got a text from his number, supposedly from his sister saying he'd been in an accident and asking me about how he seemed earlier in the day since I was the last one to talk to him. I balked at the text because I didn't believe it for a second. Then a girl calls me from his phone, pissed that I was being rude to her. She called back later that night and my roommates were there to hear it, they think based on what she was saying that it's a girl behind this, and the guy was just a pawn. People be cray.
A guy messaged me at 1am on Sunday morning saying 'hey I just signed up, I know I don't have a profile yet and that's lame so you probably won't respond, but I just had to message you because you seem awesome. I'll fill out my profile asap, I promise!"
By the time I saw that message at 730am he had filled out his profile and he was pretty cute so I responded just to see why he was up all night.
We ended up exchanging a slew of messages via text all day Sunday and Monday and then talking on the phone for 4 hours Monday night. He seemed amazing and I was pretty excited to meet him. I was trying to set it up so I could meet him Tuesday night, but he was roped into a business dinner and it didn't happen.
A few things led me to do a Google image search this morning (Weds).
1) A lot of the photos he sent me were square, but he also told me he doesn't use Instagram
2) He was talking about how badly he needed to trim his beard Tuesday, but the photo he sent me had much more beard than a person could grow overnight, if I was to believe the photo he sent me the day prior was taken the day prior.
3) I sent him two videos just being silly and didn't get any in return.
4) And well… he just seemed too good to be true.
I Google image searched 5 photos before one came up with a match, and the matches were some from random Japanese site that looked like a version of Twitter.
I had to dig into it, but I found that basically the photos this dude used were of singer Nate Green -- http://nategreenmusic.com/ -- babe, right? haha
Verbatim I said:
"So. You're definitely not you. But thanks for this little 3 day lie. I hope you realize this is kind of sad and stop doing it. Well done though, if the future... if you say you don't use instagram then maybe don't send so many square pictures. And have your beard grown a ton over night lol"
and when he didn't respond I said "You don't have the balls to cop to it?"
Then it goes a bit like...
Him: huh?
Me: you aren't real. So who are you?
Him: Def not a texting conversation and I don't think it'll matter so...
Me: So call me and explain. you owe me that much
Him: I'm still on a call. So once I'm done I'll call. If I felt it would make a difference i'd probably hang up on the call but it won't so i'll just call after
Me: I have no idea who you are or why youd do this but i'm definitely curious and would love to hear what you'd have to say
Him: Everything you do know about me is true. There's the one thing and it's the only thing.
Me: None of the photos are real which means you made up the stories around them... so how can everything be true?
Him: Exactly. I won't even try to explain.
Me: No, please do
Him: It's not going to matter so there's no reason to try.
Me: It matters to me. You've made me feel like an idiot, so i'd at least like to know the reason why
Him: You aren't an idiot and it wasn't my intentions. My friend told me to use those pics to get a feel for the site. I was dumb. I didn't even add them he did and by the time you got the message I didn't get a chance to fix it. So it was dumb that's all I can say. Can't fix it. Was gonna attempt to explain last night but I didn't get to. So I"m sorry but it wasn't meant to happen that way and I sure wanted the opportunity to explain in stead of have this happen.
He asks if we can meet in person so he can explain. I tell him I don't want to walk into a situation where i've already been lied to and have zero idea who he is or what's true.
I made him send me real photos, assuming they're real, and he's not bad looking. But I told him trust is everything and there's no way I could do anything other than attempt to be his friend.
He continued to ask for the chance to fix it, and then started begging.
Him: You are all i've wanted to even worry about in the last 72 hours. You'll find and deserve way better anyways. It's my loss for sure and I know it otherwise I wouldn't be this upset. You change your mind wanna see me even for coffee or a punch let me know. I will drop whatever. There's really nothing I can do or say or anything to try and make it up to you? I'm so pathetic right now. Forget it I'm sorry I won't bother you again.
Me: I'm sorry, trust is everything
HIm: I know and I messed up but I really want a second change. I'm sorry and I own up to it and I will never do it again. I'd call and beg but I guess you probably won't even answer
Me: I'm not trying to be mean
Him: I know and I'm pathetic but I just can't give up bc I know you're perfect and I just cant. Just tell me no and to stop. I've gotten to know you. Even the short amount of time I know you could very well be everything i've wanted. it's so hard for me to just let it go bc the last 4 days you've been the only thing on my mind. I fucked up. I own that but I need another opportunity. To at least see if in person you are that person for me. So i'm being absolutely everything i've said I would never be when someone chose not to be with me and I feel so stupid for begging but it's nothing I can help right now. So just say no and i'll do my best to just forget you. I'm absolutely pathetic for this whole thing. If you wanna talk we can I still have an hour. Just call.
I got complimented for being a good kisser, made fun of the compliment and then asked for a high five. Might be why I'm still single. But hey, I got the high five and he wanted to fist bump. Lololololol my life.
I was introduced to my friend’s coworker, a 6’7” guy (married with kids) who I ended up staying up and talking with until 430am.
Long existential conversation ensued. He was hoping to sleep with me (he readily admitted), and though he was attractive I told him I respect the ring on his finger and it wouldn’t happen. But we ended up in his room where we sat in his large empty bathtub talking about life, why he cheats on his wife on business trips such as these, what he wants from his job, the excuses we make for ourselves.
I think he’s someone who lacks meaningful connections in his life and he supplants those with short-term physical intimacy in a setting that he thinks doesn’t pose any risk of hurting his wife whom he apparently loves.
I don’t think he’s a bad guy, to some
extent we all write ourselves free passes on things. It seems that now that he’s cheated he just considers himself a cheater like the damage is already done so there’s no point it turning back. I played a lot of devils advocate, trying to make him realize how much he has to lose. He’s here in Miami saying “if you’d sleep with me I definitely want to sleep with you” but no more than 5 minutes later he says “I can’t picture loving another woman other than my wife” and “I hope I’m not ruining men for you, we’re not all like this.”
It was nice to just talk to someone, no holds barred.
These are the moments in my life that feel like movie scenes. He begs me into bed with him to cuddle as I stand looking out his window onto Miami Beach. After a short pause I turn around and he says, “God you’re good looking.” Drunk horny married men will say whatever, but I still basked in that for a few seconds before laying down on his floor. Sure I would’ve loved to cuddle, but it’s a gateway drug and I hope someday if I ever get married and my husband finds himself in a hotel room with a girl he’d like to sleep with that she could have the same respect for me that I had for his wife.
I’m sure some people might give me crap for going to his room but I liked who I was last night. I may have had some part in turning him into a faithful husband again. At least I can hope.
I can see I've opened a can of worms. I'll elaborate later but for now, know his heart is exactly where it belongs. He's head over heels, and we have barely talked since they started dating. There's nothing shady about it.
Perhaps I should never have reached out, because I hurt you so badly, and yes I'm afraid of hurting you again. But it was a strange week on many fronts, and sometimes you just think old thoughts, and are tired of the silence. But being in a position where there is little I can do about it, I resort to cowardly anon contact. I ignored you for so long, and I had no right to come out now, but hopefully, as you've said to me before, you're not still holding for me. Just finally apologizing...
Matty? Marc?? Jim? Seriously, come on. I’ve been in love with a handful of people that are now married. It would make an apology no less sincere just because you couldn’t kiss it better.
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