The Best Russian Anecdotes

with the support of google translate

[rusanec]

The drunk is sitting by the radio. They report: "Now in Moscow - 12 hours, in Omsk - 15, in Tomsk - 16, in Vladivostok - 19 ..." - Oh my God! What a mess!

[rusanec]

The Russian, German and American got to cannibals. - We will give you the task, if you do, we will not eat you. First go to the jungle and bring 10 pieces of one fruit. First comes a German and brings 10 apples. - Now you have to put it all in the ass without emotion on your face. The German could only thrust four apples and was eaten by cannibals. The second comes Russian with 10 blueberries. After listening to the leader, he realized that this was not a problem and began to shove. And then on the ninth blueberry he began to laugh madly and was eaten. There are Russian and German in the next world. - What happened to you, that you started laughing? - Yes, everything was fine, until I saw a pleased amerikosa carrying ten pineapples.

[rusanec]

A narik and a sifoznik are sitting in one chamber. They sit, the siphasic nose falls off, he throws it out the window. Then the ear fell off, too, in the window. Narik looked at it and said: I look, you fuck off on the sly.

[rusanec]

There is a hare in the woods with a notebook, towards him a fox. - Who are you? - I’m a fox. - I’m writing down: fox. Come to me tomorrow morning, I’ll eat you for breakfast. The fox cried. There is a hare on, a wolf meets him. - Who are you? - I’m wolf. - I write down: the wolf. Come to me tomorrow afternoon, I’ll eat you for dinner. The wolf wept. There is a hare on, to meet him beaver. - Who are you? - I’m a beaver. - I write down: beaver. Come to me tomorrow night, I’ll eat you for dinner! - And if I do not come? - Then I cross out.