The more I think about how I behave and interact at work makes me more aware that I should be talking less, focusing on work, and putting my time elsewhere rather than this place. I like my job and many of the benefits that it offers. However, I have spent well over a decade in this place with more further progression. The time and effort in maintaining this place in the absence of supervisors- being the only person available (twice) and not getting a higher position despite my efforts in training and becoming more professional (again twice). Like, what am I doing here then? Everyone else is progressing and yet I'm here doing the same thing over and over each year. The few things that I get out of this job are paid time off, health benefits (which I rarely use and should take advantage of), and the ability to chill about 60% of the time.
Actually, not that long ago, I was or could have more potentially been terminated due to no-call/no-show absences. I was ill during the time and had little communication about how long I would be out. Being sick is not something that can be planned out in time, but I should have been more proactive while spitting up mucus. Honestly, if I had been terminated it would just be more of a sign for me to leave and do something else- just like everything else. Higher position, more pay, and more responsibility? No. Go back to school and get my Bachelor's? No. Move out and live peacefully on my own? Make it further impossible. It's not to say that the whole world has it out for me and that MAYBE I need to try more, but this is ridiculous.
