are you hopeful or just gullible?

~this is the sassy police. come out with your hands on your hips~ overstepping boundaries and tripping over thin air since 1990. if you can't handle me when i'm shitting off a motorway bridge, you don't deserve me when i'm nailing my tits to a shed. this entire blog is now p much based on the laugh rule. find me more on twitter or instagram: @alansugars

[russianliterature]

i did the thing (incase y'all didn't see already)

[saythefisherman]

“And I love the thought of being with you, or maybe it’s the thought of not being so alone!”

[trashboat]

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

[trashboat]

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

[trapcard]

me: *misses my train by 6 seconds* me: if i didnt stop to look at that bird that one time when i was 10 i would have been 6 second ahead in life and this wouldn’t have happened.

[zamosvelour-blog]

me, logically: it’s never gonna happen the tiny hopeful goblin in my brain: but what if it did

[chessys]

im not trying my hardest but im very tired which i think should be taken into consideration

[localstarboy]

WHAT DID I JUST WATCH IM DEAD 😂💀

[thenamesjavii]

I don’t know why I want more

[vladtheunfollower]

[micahhangelo-deactivated2020112]

Uh idk who is cuter

[werethless-deactivated20190103]

Bruh.

[baker-p-i]

THE LIL BABY KISSED HIM WHEN HE WAS TALKING IN SLOTH TO HIM!!!!!

[russianliterature]

shut the fuck up i'm not crying you're crying

[dancersofeveryday]

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

me and the girls

[brisbone]

My four remaining brain cells while I have a panic attack in a crowded public area

[russianliterature]

Me: Nah, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Narrator: Her hopes, were in fact, up.

[w-byers]

a compilation in honour of our first christmas without vine.

[fuckyeahdementia]

[villainloveshero]

Childish Gambino || Tamia So into you

[fakefendi]

I will never get over this

[candiikismet]

This is so beautiful ❤️❤️💕

[meekaleeks]

just a reminder that they were roommates

[righteoussness-deactivated20210]

god making snails: alright now i need a lil goopman

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

god makin slugs: haha okay one more but this time naked

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

listening to the police scanner to see if any of them are talking about me and if they have a crush on me

[limoncellolacroix]

“MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR” I scream at 12 am with tears streaming down my face and a bottle of champagne in my hand. it has not been my year yet. it’s not even a weekend today is Thursday