Masterlist
Misplaced Lens Cap

Andulka

#extradirty
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d e v o n
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

gracie abrams

bliss lane

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EXPECTATIONS

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
NASA
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Nepal
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@rvp32
Masterlist
One-shots
IU's Medical Adventures
Yeojin's coming of age ceremony
Tiffany's Self-revelation
Prison Break (ITZY- Chaeryeong)
Arranged Marriage
In charge (Twice- Nayeon)
The Secret Life of Yooa
The Love Triangle - Eunbi x Taeyeon x M reader
"Will we only ever be friends?"- Kim Chaewon
Mina's Adventures
The Games We Play: A Tale of Lust- Wonyoung
Enchanted Desires- Yooa
Bound by Love: A Journey of Desire and Devotion- Jihyo
One step at a time- Mina
The Extents we reach for friendship - Sana and Miyeon
Possessive Love - Jennie Kim
Mother's Love - Seohyun
Shades of Solace - Mina
Ropeburn & Afterglow- Taeyeon
Series
Savior
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Whispers of Uncontrollable desire
Part 1
Part 2
Heir to the clan's legacy
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Falling for the unknown
Part 1
Part 2
Short Fics
Fromis_9 Chaeyoung
Twice Mina
Headcanons
Girls Generation reacting to Mommy kink
I can't find my twice one's link
Who's the thiccest idol?
Yel
Chowon
Momo
Silent Devotion
The alarm rings, waking you up. It's 4:30, the same time you have been waking up at for the past 6 years. The bed is like a monster, grabbing you, refusing to let go, but you force yourself to stay awake because there is too much work and too little time. The penthouse is silent except for the occasional sound from the streets below.
It is torturous, but there isn't much of a choice. The cold runs through your body as your feet hit the marble. You drag yourself to the closet; this is probably the last moment of the day when you would get to be yourself before you have to put on a perfect mask.
You get dressed in a dark charcoal tracksuit without really thinking much before heading to the gym. The weights feel heavier than they should, and for a fraction of a second, your hands tremble before you force them up.
By the time you are done with your workout, your shirt is soaked.
By 6:40, you're showered, dressed, and reading documents on your tablet. Today is a dreadful day; you have to visit your parents. You are the CEO of the best law firm in Seoul; just that position means you don't have much time for yourself, but being the son of a campaigning politician is even more dreadful and tiring.
The car stops in front of the mansion; it sticks out like a sore thumb. The dining room smells of black coffee, and at the end of a long table is your father, and beside him is your mother, scrolling through the headlines.
The windows lead to a billboard with your father's face. He is running for the presidency, and a year from now, he could be looking down from the blue house. That thought frightens you.
"Good morning," I say with a practiced smile before taking my seat opposite my mother.
Like reporting to your manager, you begin.
"Three new clients this week, each a major corporation. The merger with Hanjin closed yesterday, and the case with the Hansong group was dealt with quietly."
The reply comes from your mother, as it usually does. "Is that all? The polls are still at 42%. If your father is going to become the president, then his son should be just as amazing."
Your father lifts his eyes then. They're the same color as yours, but there is no warmth in them.
"You looked tired yesterday," he says. "People notice these things. You know that people are always watching, don't you? We always need to be smiling irrespective of what we are actually feeling."
"It won't happen again," you reply.
It is annoying and painful to hear this from them time and time again. You haven't slept more than 4 hours the past week, trying to do things that would make you look good for them, and in return, you get told to do better?
Times like this are when the thought pops into your mind, what if I just....
Before I could finish it, your mother spoke, "We can come up with some excuse for those pictures. Don't let it happen again."
You nod. Just like you always do. Not like you would speak up against them.
The food tastes bland, and nothing ever excites you anymore. You live your life like you are following a script. Doing everything they want and still getting told to do more.
Almost as if sometimes you are nothing but a spectator in your own life. Having no control over anything you do.
Before you finish eating, your father stands, and the loud sound of the chair scrapes against the floor.
"Let's go, the media are waiting at the entrance," he says
Your mother walks toward you and brushes non-existent dust from your shoulder and says, "You know what all this pressure is for, don't you, sweetheart?"
The endearment wasn't out of love; it was there just for the show of it.
Being around them wasn't exactly fun, but being in front of the media with them made you anxious. All because of that one incident when you were younger, and now you absolutely dread the moment when you were with your parents in front of the media.
Your hands were shivering, and it felt like there was something in your chest preventing you from breathing properly. You wanted to show some sort of pain, but you didn't, more like you couldn't.
The camera flashes the moment you step onto the concrete. Reporters screaming your name.
You give them exactly what they are looking for: a professional smile. The one that you practiced in the mirror, as you can remember.
A professional nod occasionally proves to everyone that you aren't some sort of robot. Well, you lived like one, but they don't need to know that. To them and the rest of the world, you are the perfect son and the perfect lawyer with a perfect image.
* * *
You step out of the car at 8:30 p.m. into a private garage. After a long 14-hour day at the firm, going through depositions, strategy meetings, and a painful client dinner, you finally make it home. By the time you reach your penthouse, your tie is loosened, the top button undone. This was the most imperfect you looked the entire day; the only reason you allowed yourself to do that was that there was no one watching.
The door opens, you cross the entrance, reaching for the switches to lower the lights, making it dim and perfect for relaxing. There is silence, and for the first time in the day, there are no expectations surrounding you. All that was there was a glass of whiskey and the city lights.
Just as you are about to take the first sip of your drink, the phone on the countertop vibrates. You wanted to ignore it, but you couldn't, especially because it was your mother's secretary who was calling.
With annoyance, you answer it. "Yes?"
A polite voice replies. "Good evening, sir. Madam has requested that you come to the main house immediately. She says that it is of the highest importance and has already sent the driver to fetch you."
"Can it really not wait? I just got home," you say, your voice exasperated.
"She was quite insistent about it, sir." She knows you hate this, but she was only following orders.
"Fine, tell her that I will be there."
"The car will be there in 10 minutes."
The line goes dead.
It pissedpisses you off, but you don't really have much choice either. At the end of the day, they are your parents, and you, being the good boy, always listen to them.
You drag your hands through your hair before letting out a sigh.
It always feels bothersome to be summoned to the house you grew up in, like you are an employee. You want to say no, but it is too late. The car was already on the way, and resisting their demands was pointless; you have already learned that the hard way.
Reluctantly, you change into something a little more casual: a cashmere sweater and some.
The drive to the main house is shockingly calm. The city is settling down, and the streets are slowly emptying. The black Mercedes pulls into the courtyard, the house lined with low lights. The traditional house is unlike the modern houses that surround it.
The maid escorts you through the house into the annex study. The room is filled with books and ebony wood. The maid leaves with a sudden thud of the closing wooden door. Now it is just your parents and you.
Your father is sitting behind the massive mahogany desk. A table sitting on the desk, probably with details from the campaign. Your mother is standing behind him near the window that overlooks the garden, her hands folded, looking at the empty streets, almost lost in thought. There is some tension in her shoulders, which is unusual for her, but you look past it.
You bow out of habit. "Good evening, father and mother," you say before taking a seat on the chair across from your father. Your back is as straight as a ruler, and your hands are resting on your knees.
Without acknowledging your greeting, your father says, "There isn't much time to beat around the bush. We've finalized the deal."
You are confused. What deal is so important that they summoned me to the main house at night? But the confusion soon disappears when your mother speaks, "Jang Wonyoung"
The realization hits like a truck. The deal which they are talking about is your marriage. You are speechless.
After a few seconds, you echo your mother. "Jang Wonyoung"
You obviously know who she is. Her family is one of the richest families in the entire country. They have their hands in all the major industries. The influence that the family holds is immense, so much so that a single move from them could cause massive shocks in the market.
"The Jang Heiress," you say to yourself. From what you've heard, she is as cold-hearted as her old man. Doesn't care about anything other than profits.
"Precisely." Your father pulls up a folder and throws it on the table. It is filled with pictures of her and the details of the so-called deal.
"Their support will stabilize the campaign. Having them with us will help secure the districts we struggled with, and the hesitant donors will be motivated to side with the group that will win."
Your mother's voice is softer than usual when she speaks again. "She's respected, and she's building something of her own away from the Jang consortium. People will like her. They'll like both of you together. Two extremely successful individuals."
You are still trying to wrap your head around all this. "How are you planning on going about this?"
"The news will be announced at the charity gala in three weeks. We will leak the information to the press to start rumors next week. Engagement in spring and a wedding a few weeks before the elections."
All the information is just going through your brain, and then the gravity of the situation finally hits you. You have done everything that your parents had ever wanted, but this, this is taking it too far.
"And what about what I want?" Your voice is stern, and your fingers are balled into a fist.
"You didn't give us much to work with. You never introduced us to any woman, so we assumed that you would have no preference. Time was running out, and we had to move forward," your mother tries to justify.
A short laugh escapes you. Without thinking, you push to your feet, and before you know it, you are already walking toward the door.
"Thank you so much for arranging my marriage like it's a stepping stone for your campaign," you say before opening the door.
"You know how this works. It shouldn't have come as a surprise," your father replies. There is no sign of guilt in his voice.
That is the last straw. You know it was going to happen, but you still hope. Hearing that your father has no remorse, it sets you off.
"I have done every fucking thing that you asked for!" Your voice is loud, filled with anger.
"The firm. The image. Every fucking appearance for your campaign, giving up things I loved purely because I didn't want to disappoint you-"
Your voice breaks, tears threatening to spill out. You swallow the lump in your throat.
"Now this? You didn't even think to ask about what I wanted or if I was even okay with this?"
"Asking would have slowed things down, and we are running out of time," your mother replies, trying to justify the decision.
Anger fills your mind, and you drag your hand through your hair, gripping it for a second, almost pulling on it, hoping the pain would ground you.
"I thought..." You stop. Your voice is strained. "I thought maybe, just maybe, that I would get to choose who I get to marry."
Neither of them responds.
"Not the firm, not the headlines. Just... one fucking decision. One Person!" You scream.
"That's enough," Your father says, in his usual calm voice. "Crying and whining won't change a thing. The families met last month. Jinwoo and I agreed to the terms last week, and this afternoon, the contracts were signed."
It is funny, because your life is again decided without you even being in the room. The finality of the situation settles in. Your father is right, there is no point in fighting this. It is inevitable.
Your mother steps closer. She doesn't say anything at first; she places her hand on your shoulder, just there for a few seconds. Almost as if she is trying to calm you down
"I know this is sudden, but we are trying to protect everything," she says quietly. "For you too."
You ignore her and push her hand away. "I guess I am nothing but a tool for you to use," you say before walking away.
Another role for you to act in that has already been assigned.
* * *
The days all blur into one another. It is finally the day of your wedding. Your involvement in the wedding is minimal. This is probably the third time you've seen Wonyoung. She is basically a stranger to you, but funnily enough, you are about to marry her.
When she walks down the aisle, you are blown away. She looks like an angel who descended into this world just to grace it with her presence. You both speak your practiced vows, and the kiss is little more than a peck.
The very next day after the wedding, the two of you move into a house together. It still feels surreal that you got married. You are pulled out of your thoughts when the car comes to a stop in front of the circular driveway. The house stands three stories tall, wrapped in pale stone and sleek modern lines, with floor-to-ceiling glass stretching across multiple sections.
You step out of the car carrying nothing but a single overnight bag. The moving trucks had already transferred all your belongings the day before. All your bag contains is your laptop, tablet, a few documents, and a spare set of clothes.
The wedding finished yesterday, and by evening, the trucks had come and gone. All your belongings are now placed in the west wing of the house. You walk in through the massive door, your bag in one hand.
As soon as you reach the living room, you set your bag down. There is a faint trace of her perfume in the air, and moments later, she appears at the top of the staircase, wearing a simple beige cashmere sweater and black pants, her hair flowing freely. There is no smile or welcome.
All of a sudden, your shoulders and jaw tighten.
"Hey," you say, voice low. "I hope I am not interrupting anything."
She pauses at the bottom of the stairs, her hand resting on the railing. "You're early," she replies. Her tone is flat, almost unbothered.
You nod. "There wasn't too much work, so I managed to leave at a reasonable hour for once. Thought I would settle in."
There is no reply from her side. She doesn't even bother to look at you. She gets off the stairs and into the kitchen, going about her business.
You try to continue the conversation, "The house is impressive. A lot larger than I expected it to be."
There is no reply again. Your eyes meet hers. "Your things are in the West wing. I believe everything was placed properly. If not, the staff can adjust."
You nod, forcing a small smile.
"There are a few things we should clarify." Her voice is calm. Her eyes are still avoiding direct contact with yours. "Since we'll be sharing this space, boundaries matter."
You nod, waiting to hear what she has to say. "Public appearances will only happen on agreed schedules, like galas, charity events, and maybe occasional dinners when required. When we are home alone, we keep the interactions minimal and civil. There is no need for unnecessary conversations or pretending."
Your jaw clenches, and you run your hand through your hair. Is that really how we are going to start? We are setting rules before we've even settled in.
Wonyoung notices your frustration, her fingers playing with the edge of her sleeve once. "And we are free to see other people if we wish. Discreetly. Bring them here if necessary, but only when I am not present and never through the front entrance. The back gate and a separate parking area are present for that purpose. I expect the same discretion in return. I hope you don't try to poke your nose in my business."
That final rule really wakes you up from your fantasy of having a normal marriage. You are shocked and in disbelief, but you don't let it show. Your hands clench at your sides, but luckily, she doesn't notice.
"You're already planning... separate lives?" you ask, your voice quieter than intended. "Before we've even spent one full day under the same roof?"
"That's obvious, isn't it? This marriage is just a political and economic arrangement. Not a romantic one. There is no reason to complicate it with false expectations." She says as she stands looking at you.
"It will be easier this way. We both will know what we are getting."
There is a complete contrast in the way you think compared to hers. You had hoped for some mutual respect, but her laying down rules? That really sets the tone.
"I know it is a political arrangement. I wasn't expecting romance. But I thought.. at least some common ground or some basic respect for each other." You reply.
She doesn't take your reply very well. "Basic respect means to respect each other's boundaries, and as for common ground, it might come with time or it won't," and with a small nod, she leaves, not waiting to hear your reply.
You are left alone in the living room. The low lights accentuated the expensive sofas, along with a dining table set that looked like an art piece. After looking through the room, you pick up your bag and head toward the west wing, where your belongings are.
I guess this is where home is now. You close the door to your new bedroom and flop onto the bed, soon falling asleep.
* * *
You wake up at the same time again at 4:30. Instead of heading to the gym, you quietly walk through the property. There are no staff present, just as you had requested, only a housekeeper who comes in during the afternoon and two drivers on call. You want privacy in between these walls, especially since this is a contractual marriage.
After exploring the property and going through your normal routine, you go into the kitchen to find a fully stocked fridge. It gives you the bright idea of making breakfast for Wonyoung. Keeping it simple, you make avocado toast with scrambled eggs, fresh berries on the side, and an oat latte, which Wonyoung supposedly likes.
The food is on the dining table. You sit at the opposite end, reading through some documents while waiting for Wonyoung. At around 8 a.m, Wonyoung comes down the stairs, wearing a cream skirt that ends above her knees with a blue-collared polo and a dark maroon jacket on top.
Her eyes meet yours, and her gaze moves to the food. There is no smile, no thank you. Just a soft: "I am running late" before she walks out of the house.
You are heartbroken. All the effort that you put into making that food is wasted. The food is left untouched. She doesn't even try it. There is a sliver of hope in your mind, thinking maybe she actually was busy.
A few evenings later, as you are coming back from the office. You decide to stop by a cafe and pick up a box of Dubai chocolate chewy cookies. From what the report says, Wonyoung absolutely adores these cookies.
Once you get home, you place the golden box on the marbled kitchen counter, with a small note beside it reading: "Saw these today. Thought you might enjoy them after the long day you had."
That evening, you sit in the living room, files open on your tablet. She is sitting at the dining table, working on her sketches as she eats. Every few minutes, your eyes drift toward her, waiting and hoping she would notice the box or even touch it.
Sadly, she never opens it. The next morning, you find the unopened box in the trash along with your note on top of it. This is the second time she thwarts your efforts. You know this is bound to happen, especially given that she warned you not to try to get close to her.
You try not to think too much about it once you are at the firm. That afternoon, you are meeting a major client in one of the many glass-walled conference rooms. As the conversation about the merger dies down, the topic of your marriage comes up.
"Congratulations on the marriage. Jang Wonyoung is quite the catch. The press is calling you both the power couple of Seoul. Everyone is fawning over how perfect both of you look in your wedding photos," one of them mentions.
"Thank you! The photos came out really well. It was a hectic day. Wonyoung and I were both quite tired," you lie.
"Yeah, it must have been. The wedding looked massive. How is it? Living with such a beautiful wife?"
"It's amazing. We moved into the new house, so we're adjusting." Empty words. You both probably spoke less than 10 sentences since the day you got married. In fact, you know a lot more about the client than you do about your own wife.
The conversation ends there. Everyone around you believes that you and Wonyoung are happily married and enjoy spending time with each other, which achieves the main goal of your parents, but in reality, you are suffering, trying to make something out of nothing.
That evening, you have some free time, which you use to research Jang Atelier. They are known for using sustainable fabrics with minimalist lines that highlight the beauty of the material.
The next morning, just before she leaves another untouched meal you made, you manage to speak with her. "I saw the new resort collection. The way you layered the silk with recycled wool is forward-thinking."
Her gaze shifts to you for a second. Her expression is plain, not one that shows gratitude. "Thank you"
Those were the only words she spoke.
You wanted to try to continue the conversation. "I would love to learn more about it. I can clear some time this weekend-"
"I'm busy," she cuts you off. "If you want to learn more about it, I can have my assistant send you a brief regarding the new selection. If you have any questions, you can ask him"
The words are a slap. She cuts off any prospect of even talking more by referring you to her assistant, her intentions clear.
The same pattern continues for the next few weeks. You cook or buy her food she supposedly enjoys, and every single time, it appears in the trash the following morning, along with all the notes you write.
You try everything to spend more time with her. Now you are sitting in the living room more often, at least to give her some company, even though neither of you speaks. You watch her from the corner of your eye, occasionally eating some takeout food as she continues her work.
One evening, you finally work up the courage to speak to her. Both of you are on the same floor. You walk into the dining room. Her eyes focus on the sketches, not even registering your presence.
"Wonyoung," you say, almost whispering, "I know this isn't what either of us wanted, but since we are already here. Maybe we could... try and eat dinner together or at least try to get to know each other."
"I didn't ask for company. If eating alone bothers you so much, I suggest you find someone else to entertain you during the evening," Wonyoung says.
There it is again, the cold-hearted woman who thwarts all your attempts at reaching out and getting to know her. The rejection is painful, but for some odd reason, you still have hope and want to keep trying.
The next evening, once you get home. You are about to make some dinner for both of you, but you pause. Is it really worth putting in so much effort? She is not even going to spare a single second.
You do it anyway. You make the effort and leave the plate of food on the dining table. Just as you expected. The next morning, the food is untouched, exactly where you had placed it.
* * *
After the harsh reality check from Wonyoung's words, your efforts at trying to get close to her dwindle quite a bit. Occasionally, when you have some free time, you leave her oat milk latte on the counter before heading to work.
You two are still strangers who live under one massive roof. On one sleepless night, when you wake up for some water. You notice a soft glow coming from the East Wing. Wonyoung isn't sleeping, and you assume it is a one-time thing, but the next few days are still the same.
There are days when she is awake past 4 in the morning. The light coming from her wing bothers you, so you slowly walk into her wing. Through the half-open door, you can see her back and her stiff shoulders. She is moving with less efficiency than her usual self and occasionally zoning out, staring at the pool outside.
You stand in the shadows, secretly watching her. She looks exhausted, you think. You want to do something, but then you remember what she said, I didn't ask for company. Anything you say will only be pushing her boundaries, especially since you are watching her without her knowledge. So, without saying anything, you slowly walk back to your room.
One particular night, she is pacing in front of the large window, with her hand rubbing the back of her neck, trying to relieve some tension. You watch from a distance, and you can't ignore it anymore, so you decide to do something about it.
The following day, you prepare chamomile-lavender tea. It is known to ease insomnia. You leave it in a warm flask on the marble counter with a note on the side: "For late nights. No caffeine." You don't expect her to touch it, but when you wake up to get some water at 1 a.m, you notice that the flask is gone.
She takes it!
That is the first sign of hope since the day you moved into the house. You don't want to get too excited. The next morning, you don't mention it. You simply prepare another batch that evening and leave it on the counter again.
Your excitement doesn't let you stay asleep for too long. At 2:30 a.m, your body can no longer sleep, so you wander into the kitchen. The flask is still in the same spot. You follow the light that is seeping through.
She's there, seated at her desk. Her posture is perfect as always, but she is occasionally stretching to loosen up the tension in her shoulders. The Apple Pencil is lying on the table as she stares at her design. You know that you should have left her alone, but against your own better judgment, you walk closer.
She doesn't notice your presence as usual, so you clear your throat softly, just enough for her not to be startled. She doesn't look at you immediately.
"There is more tea on the counter," you say quietly, "It's chamomile. It should help with the... restlessness."
Her hand pauses whatever it is doing. There is no reply for a few seconds, and you think you mess up, but then a soft voice brings you out of your thoughts.
"Thank you."
You stay for a few seconds watching her go back to work, then you step back into the darkness without bothering her anymore.
Once you are back in the safety of your bedroom, only then do you realize that this is the first time she doesn't try to completely push you away. She isn't ashamed or annoyed that you barged into her space when she isn't her usual perfect self. Rather, she actually thanks you for looking out for her.
Her voice echoes in your head. It creates a warmth in your heart that you don't really understand.
By the time the storm starts, you are already home, looking through some documents regarding the new merger that your law firm is working on. The storm hits Seoul unannounced. It is sudden and violent. Rain hits the floor-to-ceiling windows of the house -- loud, the swaying trees, the howling wind, and the thunder.
Exhaustion is taking over; you are looking at the tab, reading, but you aren't registering anything. The house is quiet between the loud thunderclaps.
There is a low rumble before a loud crack.
There is a scream that comes from the living room. Your head immediately lifts. The tablet slides out of your hand as you walk through the corridor. You don't rush; you have learned not to because rushing only makes her more defensive.
Just as you are about to reach the source of the sound, there is another thunderclap, and this time, it is not as loud as the previous one.
Wonyoung stands near the sofa, one hand on the back of it, holding her steady. Her cream silk robe slips off one of her shoulders, but she doesn't fix it. Her fingers are gripping the sofa so hard that her knuckles turn white. Her breathing is shallow and loud. She is clearly trying to hide her fear, but is failing at it.
She looks so small, shivering from the loud sound, very unlike the confident woman you had gotten used to. Another loud sound. This one causes her free hand to fly toward her ear to cover herself from the loud sound, but she immediately pulls it away. Almost as if she has been trained not to show weakness, but she can't hold those instincts anymore. Her eyes shut tight in fear.
You approach slowly. No sudden movements, and touching is out of the question. "Wonyoung," you say carefully, barely louder than the rain outside. "It's just the storm."
There is no answer from her. Her gaze meets your eyes only for a second before she looks away at some invisible point.
One step after another, you close the gap. And just as you are about to reach her, you ask for her permission, "I am not coming any closer unless you want me to."
Another flinch as the lightning flashes, her eyes exhausted from all the work and filled with fear. "I hate thunder," she finally says. The words are barely loud enough for you to catch. She almost regretted saying that out loud. It is a show of vulnerability from her, and you know better than to make her regret it.
"I figured as much. Sit down," you suggest.
Once she settles down onto the couch, you grab the blanket that is on the chair behind her, slowly wrapping the blanket around her shoulders.
"I can sit over there if you want--" you gesture at the other end of the couch "and we don't have to talk. Whatever feels less... loud," you say, trying to give her company.
She hesitates, but that disappears the second there is another loud thunderclap. Her eyes meet yours, almost begging you to stay, and you oblige. Taking your seat at the other end of the couch, you don't want to overwhelm her with questions, and you just sit there with your hands on your knees staring at the blank TV screen.
For several minutes, the only sounds are the rain, the wind, and the occasional thunder. Wonyoung is slowly calming down, but her fingers still shiver when she pulls the blanket closer.
"Let me play something on the TV. It will help with the noise," you suggest.
She nods, and you put on an old movie. It is a romance movie that is loud enough to slowly drown out the sound of the storm. Her shoulders ease as she focuses on the movie. Before long, Wonyoung curls herself with her knees drawn to her chest, arms wrapped tight, holding herself together.
You try to focus on the movie, but your gaze keeps slipping back to her. Something about seeing her so fragile and human is unsettling, but it is a sight you could get used to. By the time the movie is at the halfway point, Wonyoung's breath evens out, and she falls asleep
Your gaze is no longer on the movie; you just watch as her chest rises and falls. You've always known that she is beautiful--anyone with eyes could see that, but this... this is different. There is no tension on her face. Just softness, the kind that is rare and feels almost undeserved to witness.
The room grows colder, and worried for her health, you increase the room temperature. As you are heading back to your seat, you pause close to Wonyoung, a strand of stray hair falling across her face.
Before you realize it, you are moving the stray strand behind her ear. You know how dangerous this is.
This version of her-the unguarded one, is not something you are meant to see. Not something she would ever allow if she were awake.
This may be the only time you ever get this opportunity, and you don't intend to waste it.
Settling into the chair across from her, you pick up your tablet, pretending to read, your attention shifting between the documents and her. It is almost dawn by the time you're done with your work (and also admiring her). Light is seeping into the living room from the massive windows.
You never really fall asleep. Using what time you have left before you are needed at the office, you make a quick breakfast: a Spanish omelette, and leave a note beside it: 'Hope you slept well.' Running away from whatever last night was because you aren't ready to see her back to her cold demeanor.
* * *
The days following the storm are interesting, to say the least. The first change comes three days later.
You leave another breakfast for her: scrambled eggs with chives, grilled tomatoes, and her coffee. A small note beside it: "Coffee freshly made. Have a good day!"
By the time you are back after changing for the office, the plate is empty, and the note is gone. In its place is another note with beautiful handwriting that reads: "Thank you."
Nothing more, but it is there, which makes you happy.
That evening, you come home to change for a client dinner. You leave another note: "The meeting is going to run late. Don't wait up."
The next morning, her reply is on the counter.
"I never do."
The reply should hurt, but it doesn't. In fact, it makes you smile. This is the closest thing to a real smile on your face in months.
The notes continue like this. Both your schedules get so busy to the point where you both barely run into each other, even while living in the same house.
It becomes a ritual; sometimes you would write about nothing important, like the rain forecast, or about the new exhibit at the museum that you thought she would like, or the fact that the housekeeper had bought new tea leaves that tasted amazing.
One morning, she leaves a note on your table before you leave; it is simple, but it makes all your efforts worth it.
"The chamomile helped. Again."
Another evening, when you return after a brutally long day, you find a note on the counter that makes you laugh out loud alone in the kitchen.
"You left the lights on in the study. Try not to burn the house down, I am getting quite attached to it"
* * *
Once your schedule frees up, you are back at around 7 p.m. You run into Wonyoung when you just got back home. She is at her usual spot: at the dining table, sketching.
"The new collection looks beautiful," you say as you set your briefcase down. "I saw the preview images online."
You have mentally prepared yourself for the chance of her ignoring you, but, to your surprise, she doesn't ignore you.
Her hand stops moving. "The sustainable cashmere did a lot better than expected when we were testing it. The dyeing process was a little tricky to figure out," she says.
You nod, "Sounds like a pain, but I guess it was worth the trouble, given how nice they came out."
Wonyoung hums in return, and that is the end of the conversation. It lasted less than 30 seconds, but it is huge progress to talk about small things like this with her.
You prepare a fresh batch of the lavender-chamomile tea and leave it on the counter before heading to your room.
Soon after you get to your room, you fall asleep. A few hours later, you wake up thirsty. When you pass by the living room on the way to the kitchen, Wonyoung is sitting there with her knees drawn up and her sketchpad balanced on her lap.
"Mind if I sit?" you ask quietly.
She looks up and nods. Her eyes are filled with exhaustion as she stares at her sketchpad.
Neither of you speaks; you just sit there watching as she continues sketching. Eventually, without looking up, she murmurs, "The thunder hasn't come back."
It is an odd way to start the conversation, but you welcome it, given that it is the first time she has ever started one.
"No," you agree softly. "It hasn't."
That is all. You stay with her until she closes her sketchpad and stands. She looks toward you briefly before wishing you a good night and disappearing into the east wing.
***************
The following day, you come home as usual, and the house smells faintly of galbi-jim; the housekeeper probably cooked it before she left. You are reheating a portion for yourself when you see Wonyoung coming down the stairs, still dressed in her professional attire, her hair a little tousled from a long day.
She stops at the edge of the island.
"There's enough for two. If you are hungry," you suggest as you continue stirring the pot.
She stares at the pot for a second before admitting, "I haven't eaten anything since noon."
No grand gestures; you don't make a big deal of it. You simply get a second bowl, serve the stew and rice carefully, and place it in front of her with a spoon.
She sits on the opposite stool and starts eating.
The silence is broken when Wonyoung remarks, "The rice is a little sticky tonight."
"Too much water?" you question.
"A bit." She pauses. "It's still good," almost like she is trying not to hurt your feelings.
"I'll adjust next time."
She gives you a small nod and takes another bite.
When she finishes, she rinses her bowl in the sink and sets it neatly in the drying rack.
Before heading upstairs, she stops at the edge of the kitchen.
"Thank you for the food."
You meet her eyes for a moment. "Anytime."
You stand at the counter long after she leaves, staring at your empty bowl, steam still rising from the pot. The sudden joy from seeing her eat the breakfast you made is nothing compared to the calm dinner you have just shared with her.
The next morning, as usual, the notes continue, but this time they are longer.
"The stew reheated well for breakfast. Next time, less water in the rice. I have a late fitting today."
You read the note twice, then you write back on the same paper:
"Noted on the rice. Good luck with the fitting. I'll be home by 8 if you want company."
When you return that evening, the note is still on the counter. Beneath your words, in her handwriting: "We'll see."
It isn't a confirmation, but it isn't a rejection either. Which is a win for you.
* * *
The small exchanges continue. The notes evolve from short single lines into almost conversational threats. One morning, you come down to find your usual Post-it replaced by a card in her handwriting:
"The rice was better yesterday. We received the new cashmere samples from Italy. They are so light! You also left your tablet charger in the living room again. I left it on the counter."
You smile at the note; it is almost like she is scolding you for being forgetful. You write back before leaving:
"Glad the rice improved. The new cashmere sounds like it would really suit the new line that you guys are working on. Thanks for the charger. I will try not to forget it again."
Wonyoung is already on the island by the time you get back. She is scrolling through the fabric catalogue on her phone, but she doesn't look up immediately.
"Long day?" you ask as you reheat two bowls of doenjang jjigae.
"Mhm, fittings ran late, and we are looking for a few new colors that suit the new line, so it was quite draining," Wonyoung replied.
You take the stool across from her without comment. For a while, you eat in silence. Halfway through the meal, she speaks again.
"The sustainable wool you mentioned last week. I tested a small sample today. It flows quite well."
"That's nice. I heard about it from a friend who is in the textile business. It is impressive how sustainable they are, especially with the price point that they are selling at.
"Yeah, it might work for the outerwear pieces that we are working on. That is, if the dye holds properly in the humidity tests."
The conversation doesn't go on for much longer. Just like the other day, she pauses at the edge of the kitchen.
"Good night."
******************
The following evening, you are in a meeting discussing how to deal with a high-profile case when you hear thunder rumbling. Your mind immediately goes to Wonyoung, questioning where she is.
Her secretary tells you she is already home when you call him. That means she is home alone.
"I need to head out. You guys figure it out and let me know the solutions you came up with." You don't even wait for a reply before bolting out of the room. The thunder roars louder this time, and the only thing running in your mind is how Wonyoung is doing.
The car ride isn't fast enough. As soon as the car stops in front of the house, you dash out. The first thing you see as you walk into the living room is a scared Wonyoung, her knees pressed to her chest, and a movie playing to drown out the noise of the storm.
Her eyes are filled with tears, threatening to break out. She looks at you, almost pleading for you to give her some company.
"The rain started when I was on a call," she said, her voice weak.
You hang your jacket on the couch and move to the other side. "Mind if I join?"
A simple nod is all you've got. At some point, Wonyoung slowly relaxes, her feet now resting near the center. Not touching, but close enough for you to notice how tiny and cute they are.
When the scene mellows out a little, Wonyoung murmurs, "Thanks for the breakfast again. I really loved the consistency of the yolk on the sunny-side up."
It is rare for her to compliment you, and you always appreciate it. "Glad you liked it."
Just like that, silence returns; neither of you comments on the movie. The rain slowly eases up, but both of you stay until the movie reaches the end.
* * *
Sharing meals with her becomes less accidental. It is more of a ritual now. Your day would end with a shared dinner. Almost always just reheating food that the housekeeper prepared. One Tuesday, you come home to find Wonyoung in the kitchen, chopping green onions. She is dressed in a simple, oversized sweater that covers her shorts, sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Her long, beautiful legs are on full display. Something about this sight is domestic, which is new, but something you could really get used to.
She notices your presence. "I thought we could do something simple," she said. "I asked the housekeeper to get some fresh mackerel. Wanna have it grilled?"
Without hesitation, you roll your sleeves. "I can season the fish, what about something light? Like ginger-soy?"
"Sure, sounds delicious," she says, passing you a small bowl. You are careful, working in silence. The fish sizzles in the pan, and the room is filled with the faint smell of sesame oil as you serve rice into the bowls.
As you eat, you talk about the funny client who asked for unreasonable things and was rude to the lawyers around you. She mentions the supplier they are talking to for pearls and how it is taking a lot longer than expected. It is all light conversation. She finishes eating and leans back slightly as her fingers trace the rim of the glass.
"The fish turned out quite nicely. It had some nice crispy skin."
"Mhm, next time we should try it with the perilla leaves when they're in season."
"Maybe."
She doesn't leave right away. Instead, she stays to help clear the table. As she sets the last dish in the drying rack, she looks toward the living room.
"The movie from last week... the one with the bookstore. I found out that it has a sequel online. If you aren't too busy, maybe we could watch it," Wonyoung suggests.
You wait a second before you agree. "Sure, let me get changed and we can start."
It doesn't matter to you that you have more work to take care of. All that matters right now is the fact that Wonyoung is also making an effort to spend more time with you. The movie continues playing in the background as you keep stealing glances at her, admiring her beauty.
The following afternoon, you have a client meeting in Gangnam that wraps up earlier than expected. The idea hits you: Wonyoung's store is in the area, and you want to visit her. To see what she looked like when she was working in her environment.
This is different from the meals that you shared or the movies that you watched together. Visiting her unannounced is a risk, but it is one you are feeling brave enough to take today.
There it was: the Jang Atelier, a minimalist board with a black background and gold letters. You adjust your tie, smooth out your blazer, and walk into the store. The boutique is quiet, as expected, and it smells of vetiver and fresh linen. There are a few clients, and all of them are busy in their own worlds to notice you.
The young receptionist recognizes you immediately. She bows and suggests that she announce you, but you wave her off, saying, "I'll find her myself. There is no need to interrupt her."
She nods, leaving you to yourself and retreating to her position. You move slowly through the space, admiring the dresses on the mannequins. Toward the end of the hall, light peeks through what looks like an open door.
Wonyoung's calm voice fills the hall as you get closer to the door. Just as you are about to enter the door, a man's voice makes you stop. Cautiously, not to disturb, you peek through the small gap.
She stands near a large mirror, her red blouse neatly tucked into her high-waisted pants, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail.
The man looks well-dressed. All of a sudden, he leans in close, a bit too close for your liking, as he is speaking about the fabric.
Without warning, he cups her face and kisses her.
Her hands come up to his chest. It looks so natural, like something she had done multiple times. In a split second, before you even realize it, you are walking toward the exit.
Your mind is a mess; it feels like the floor has vanished from under you. The air feels so thick that you are struggling to take it in. Everything that you had hoped for is shattered in a second.
Her words from the first night echo in your head, clear as day: "We are both free to see other people if we wish."
Even though she was so clear, this still comes as a shock to you. The past few weeks have been unlike the beginning. You are under the impression that all your small gestures and the little time you spent together were going to be the start of something, something real.
Apparently not.
She already has someone. Or at least she is letting someone else kiss her like that. While you busted your ass cooking breakfasts, leaving tea for her sleepless nights, running to her to keep her company during storms, she had been here kissing another man in the back of her boutique, hidden from everyone else.
The pain isn't sharp; it's like a dull blade twisting in your heart. Your mind goes completely blank. You want to go back and confront her, but you know confrontation would only humiliate you both.
You offer a curt nod to the receptionist you met and leave. The rest of the day goes by in a blur. The image of her kissing another man replays in your head, again and again. You have to let yourself forget that. You walk in through the side entrance and go straight to your bed.
That evening, you don't leave your room; there is no need to. You aren't going to make her some tea, nor are you going to wait for dinner. Your stomach twists in so many ways that you can't even fathom eating with her. You drown yourself in alcohol, enough to put you deep into sleep. One without any dreams of her.
The following morning, you wake up with a pounding headache. The clock reads 9:00. This is the first time in years you've woken up so late. You take an aspirin and shower before heading to the office as usual. It is clear what you have to do.
Distance yourself from her and drown yourself in work. That is the only thing left in your life, anyway.
The first month passes in a haze of whiskey and work. You teach yourself to drink just enough before bed to put you to sleep, but not enough for you to wake up the next morning with a headache.
Then came the last day of the second month.
Her birthday.
The thought has crossed your mind multiple times. Your thumb hovering over the send button, the simple message: "Happy Birthday, Wonyoung." You delete it. Type it again. This goes on for the next 20 minutes. In the end, you throw the phone across the room.
Checking her schedule has become a ritual. You know she won't be home today before at least three. She has a party planned with her friends, according to her secretary. You have finally allowed yourself the luxury of relaxing in your own living room. A drink in your hand as you played some music. It is a novel feeling, being this free after worrying about offending or bothering Wonyoung.
That feeling is short-lived. At barely 1:30, the front door opens with a loud bang. You freeze with the glass of whiskey halfway to your lips.
Wonyoung walks in. Something about her is very different from the one you knew. She sways as she walks in, her cheeks flushed, her mascara smudged, and her hair no longer in a perfect ponytail.
She is unmistakably, gloriously, and dangerously drunk.
There is a small glint of hope that she will ignore you and go to her room. But she sees you.
Her eyes narrow, trying to figure out if you are real or just another fragment of the illusions she has been seeing. Her expression changes into one of anger.
"You!" she screams, her voice slurring. She kicks her shoes off. "Fucking you!"
She sways forward until she is standing in the middle of the living room, hands balled into tight fists at her sides.
"You think you can just... fucking disappear?" Her chest heaved, pushing down that lump in her throat. "After everything? You spent weeks getting me to lower my guard with all those fucking notes. The tea at two in the morning. The goddamn breakfasts, the movies, and the way you always looked at me and treated me like I wasn't just some fucking political accessory you were forced to deal with. You made me think-"
Her voice breaks, but she pushes through it. "You made me think that I could trust whatever this is; maybe I could even trust you. It was slowly feeling like home instead of a fucking prison."
Tears fall down her cheeks. You almost instinctively reach out, but you stop yourself. "I let you see me, you asshole —the real me, the one who hates the loud sound of thunder, the one who waited for the days we would run into each other so we could eat together."
Her knuckles turn white from how hard she is now gripping the edge of the couch.
"I answered all your stupid notes like a lovesick teenager, all because you actually looked at me for who I am and not because of what my name entailed. You tried everything just for me, and then what?" She laughs, bitter. "And then you fucking vanish. Out of nowhere! No notes. No food. No nothing. You just ghosted me like everything was a mistake, and you finally woke up.”
"Do you know how many times I waited in the kitchen?! Hoping to run into you or maybe even get an explanation for why you suddenly started acting like this.”
"You abandoned me in my own fucking house. You walked away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. Do you know how much effort it took me to let you in?!" Her tears spilled furiously, chest heaving like she couldn't get enough air.
"I hate you! I hate you so fucking much for making me care, for making me think we could have something that actually mattered. I hate —"
"ENOUGH!"
You scream, throwing the whiskey glass in your hand to the other side of the room. The whiskey in your body burns hotter. The pain you have been drowning in for weeks is taking over.
"You want to talk about abandonment?" Your voice is low but rising. "You did this. You caused every fucking bit of it."
Wonyoung blinks through her tears, furious at your declaration. "I caused it? I —"
"I saw you!" you cut her off, stepping closer until there are only a few inches between. Your hands are shaking with rage, revisiting the very memory you have been trying to forget.
"In the boutique, that day, I came to surprise you, but in return, I was the one who got surprised. There you were, kissing another man, his hands all over your face, touching it as if you belonged to him."
Her lips part, but you don't let her speak.
"That scene reminded me of what you said when I moved in. 'We are both free to see other people if we wish.' It rang in my brain. After you tried to push me away. I still tried. I cooked, bought chocolates you love, and even sat in silence when it rained because I thought maybe, just maybe, you were starting to want this too. So tell me, Wonyoung— why the hell should I keep putting in effort when you already have someone else who can do it for you?!"
You laugh, but it is filled with pain and anger.
"You had him, whoever the fuck that man was. So why should I keep pouring in my effort? You warned me not to fall for you. Congratulations. I listened a little too late. And now I am done! I am done pretending like this fucking farce could actually become a normal marriage."
"Wait! Listen to me. That day at the boutique, it wasn't—"
You cut her off instantly, "I don't want to hear it. I saw everything I needed to. I was stupid enough to try to get to know you, so I am not going to keep—"
She moves shockingly fast for someone drunk. One moment she is gripping the couch, and the next, she is grabbing the front of your t-shirt with surprising strength and crashes her mouth into yours.
The kiss isn't tender. It is desperate and angry; she tastes like champagne and salt. Her fingers twist into your t-shirt, pulling you closer as if she wants you to forget every single accusation.
Your mind goes completely blank. All the rage, the heartbreak, everything gone. You freeze. Unable to properly process what is going on.
She suddenly pulls back, breathing hard, her face only inches from yours. Her eyes are glassy with tears, but beneath that, there is clarity.
"Shut up and listen," she hissed. "That man was one of our major textile providers from China. He's been pushy for months. That day, he came without notice, cornered me in the consultation room, and tried to use the deal as leverage for time with me. He kissed me before I could stop him. I pushed him away the second I could. I threatened legal action if he ever touched me again. I canceled the contract with them the very next minute."
Wonyoung is still gripping your shirt, her body swaying slightly; she refuses to let go.
"I didn't kiss him back! I didn't want him. I was fucking terrified and angry. I spent the rest of the day locked in my office trying to scrub that feeling off my skin. And then you-" her voice cracked. "You disappeared. No explanation. No note. Nothing."
Her grip on your shirt loosens. Without thinking, you lean in.
This kiss is nothing like the one from earlier. It is slow and deliberate. Almost as if you are trying to make up for every word that wasn't said. Your mouth moves against hers.
One of your hands slides down to her waist, fingers spreading wide to grip her harder. She lets out a soft, surprised sound against your lips; she doesn't pull away. Her hand leaves your shirt and loops around your neck.
The kiss breaks, but your foreheads stay pressed together.
"I know it's late," you whisper, "Happy birthday, Wonyoung."
Her eyes close for a second. A shaky exhale leaves her.
"Thank you. Maybe next year, don't be late."
She leans in for a kiss, tongues dancing in tandem. The kiss turns into something you aren’t expecting. Both your hands are exploring each other’s bodies. Her body is pressed flush against yours. The kiss becomes a punishment and an apology all at once. A low rumbling sound escapes your throat as one of her hands tugs at your hair just hard enough to tilt your head.
She pushes.
You fall onto the sofa, and she follows without breaking the kiss, climbing onto your lap and straddling you. Her knees sink into the couch with her legs settling on either side of your hips. Her weight resting on your lap, cradling you between her thighs.
The grinding starts slowly, her hips moving in deliberate rolls. Her warmth against your growing hardness in your pants.
The grinding gets faster, and the friction makes your breath hitch. Still, you register what is happening: she is drunk.
Your hands grip her hips, stopping her movement.
“Wonyoung… wait,” you say, pulling back just enough to look at her properly. “We can’t do this right now. You’re really drunk. We can’t, no, we shouldn’t-”
She let out a groan of frustration. “Shut up. I know exactly what I am doing. I may be drunk, but I am not fucking stupid. I want this, and I am not going to let you overthink this. I’m saying yes.” Her thumbs brush your cheeks. “Right now. I want you. I want your cock. So don’t you dare fucking stop unless you don’t want me.”
The last part is weaker, but her honesty hits you like a punch. There is no sign of doubt on her face; all you see is heat and a desperate kind of need.
Before you can second-guess yourself, she kisses you hard and then slides off your lap, dropping to her knees between your thighs.
Your heart is beating so hard against your ribs as she pulls your belt off, her fingers fumbling as she tries to pull your pants and boxers off. Your cock springs free, thick and heavy. Already hard from her grinding.
Her eyes widen.
“Fuck…” She can’t believe it. Her hand wraps around your hard length. “You’re huge! Jesus Christ, how do you even walk around with that thing?”
You can’t believe the filthy awe in her voice. The elegant Jang Wonyoung is gone; in her place is someone raw, hungry, and shockingly filthy.
She drags her tongue slowly up the underside of your cock, from your balls to the tip. She takes the head into her mouth, lips stretching. She sucks greedily, cheeks hollowing, her tongue swirling around your head while her hand strokes what she can’t fit inside.
“So fucking big,” she moans, the vibration shooting straight through your body. “I can barely get it all inside my mouth. Look at you… leaking for me already.” She licks the drop of leaking precum. “You like watching me struggle to take your cock, don’t you?”
“Fuck,” you groan. All those naughty words coming out of her pristine, perfect mouth are driving you nuts.
Your hand gently wraps around her head, not pushing, just holding as she pushes deeper. She takes more this time, her head bobbing enthusiastically. Her eyes are tearing up, but that doesn’t stop her from pushing you deeper into her throat.
“Wonyoung…” you hiss. Shocked by how eager she is.
She pulls off for air, lips shiny and swollen. Her hand continues to pump your cock fast and slick with her spit all over it. “I want this cock inside me so fucking bad. I want you to stretch me open until I can’t think about anything else. Before that, I’m going to suck you until you are dripping and begging to cum down my throat.”
The blowjob turns messy and obscene. She is worshipping your cock with her mouth and throat — sucking, licking, stroking, and occasionally slapping it against her tongue with the nastiest grin on her face. Everything she does sends you closer to the edge.
Soon, you are begging to cum down her pretty throat. “Wonyoung, pleasee.”
“Enough,” she said, climbing back onto your lap. “I need you inside me. Now!”
She reaches between you, guiding the head of your cock to her drenched entrance. She is dripping through her panties. She shoves the lace aside and slowly sinks.
She struggles to take the first inch. Her eyes fluttered shut, mouth wide open in a gasp. ”Oh my God… It’s too fucking big,” but she doesn’t stop. Her hips rocking in shallow movements, pushing herself down inch by inch. “You’re splitting me open. I can feel every vein… it's stretching me so wide…”
Your hands grab her hips hard, fighting the urge to push up into her tight pussy. “Slow, baby. Don’t hurt yourself.”
You bury your nose in her neck, taking in the vanilla scent of her perfume. But Wonyoung is determined. She pushes herself down harder, taking more than half your cock in one go. Her walls tighten violently around you, wet and impossibly tight.
“Ahh!” she cries out, nails digging into your shoulders. “It hurts so good, your cock is so huge.. I fucking love it!”
She starts riding you then, slow at first, but slowly getting faster. Her desperation to get filled is getting worse. Every time she sinks, she takes more of you until finally, with a loud sob, she bottoms out. Her ass flushes against your thighs.
“FUCK fuck. I’m so full,” she moans, her forehead pressing onto yours. “Your cock is all the way inside me… ruining my tight little pussy.”
Just from having you fully inside her, she has her first orgasm. Her walls flutter and clench as she is grinding down hard. A loud moan tears through her throat. “Cumming… Oh fuck, I’m cumming on your massive cock”
Her orgasm hits hard, pussy gushing around your cock. You hold her through it, hands around her waist, still gripping it.
She doesn’t stop, barely giving herself enough time to recover, and she starts riding you again, faster this time. The wet, obscene sound of her pussy fills the room, skin slapping and her juices dripping down to your balls.
“Harder! Fuck me harder. I want you to pound my pussy ‘til I can’t walk tomorrow. Make me cum again! Make cum all over your big fucking cock.”
You thrust up to meet her. Pounding her like it was the only thing you were made to do. Her moans are loud, almost turning into screams from how hard you were going. Your rhythm matches hers perfectly. You are hitting spots in her that she didn’t even know existed.
She climaxes for the second time soon after, with a broken scream, her pussy clamping so tightly around you that you nearly blow your load inside of her.
But she hasn’t finished yet.
Her hips keep moving, slow but grinding in circles that keep your cock buried deep inside her. She was whispering filthy promises against your mouth in between desperate kisses and squeezing her bare tits.
“Again, again, I want to cum again… don’t you dare fucking pull out until I cum my brains out on your cock.”
She refuses to stop. She braces her hands on your chest, nails digging in through your shirt. She is grinding her swollen clit against you with every move.
“FUCK! I can feel you so deep,” she moans, “your cock is hitting places I didn’t even know existed, it’s so fucking big! Break my pussy, make sure that no one can ever satisfy me other than you!”
She bites her lips, eyes barely open. “Look at me. Look how I’m riding this dick like a desperate little slut. You never thought the quiet, pristine Wonyoung would be bouncing on you like this. Begging for you to destroy her with your fat cock like this, did you?”
You are speechless, hands gripping her perky tits so hard you knew you’d leave bruises.
The woman in front of you now is a complete contrast to the woman you’d lived with, and this filthy vocal version riding on your cock is almost too much. Every word out of her mouth sends another throb through your cock, nesting deep inside her scorching pussy.
“I fucking love this version of you: a complete slut who wants to get her pussy wrecked. You are so fucking tight. So wet. I can feel you dripping all over my balls.”
She smirks at your praise, her hips moving faster, lifting just enough to slam back down with a wet sound. “That’s right. I’m soaking your cock. This tight little cunt is creaming all over you.” Her head fell back. “I’ve been so fucking empty, and now you’re filling me up so good. Stretching and ruining me. I’m fucking addicted!.”
She starts bouncing in deep strokes. Each time she drops, there is a loud smack. Her moans turn into broken whimpers, but she keeps talking, the dirty words spilling out.
“I love it so much. Your cock is so huge it hurts, but fuckk I’m getting addicted. I love how it splits me open. I’m gonna cum on it again. I want to cum so hard I soak your lap and leave a mark on this couch. Tell me how much you love my pussy. Tell me you love breaking your wife’s brain and making her into a complete slut.”
“It’s perfect — so fucking perfect and tight. It makes me want to fucking breed you. You’re taking me so well, baby. Look at you, riding me like a whore who wants nothing but my cock.”
Her rhythm falters for a second as your dirty talk gets to her.
It is relentless — her hips snapping faster, grinding deep on every stroke. Sweat beads are falling from her face, loose hair sticking to her flushed cheeks. The living room is filled with the filthy sounds of your bodies slapping against each other.
“I’m close. I am so fucking close,” she pants, her voice breaking. “I’m gonna cum again. Don’t stop, please! Keep fucking me. Keep ruining this greedy little pussy. My pussy loves your cock so fucking much. You’re so deep I can feel you in my stomach.”
You watch her face, mesmerized by how she completely let herself go. The elegant woman is gone; in her place is a desperate, filthy-mouthed goddess chasing pleasure as she can never get enough. Your thrusts got harder, more violent. Trying your best to destroy her exactly how she was begging.
“Yesss! RIGHT THERE,” she screams. “THERE, FUCK, keep going! Don’t you dare fucking stop!” Her movements become erratic, frantic, and her thighs are trembling violently. “I’m almost there… almost.. fuck, I need it so bad-”
Her orgasm comes crashing, her eyes rolling back, and she is moaning incoherent things. She takes a lot longer to recover from this. She feels you twitching inside, begging to cum.
She can feel you throbbing, and she doesn’t waste time. She slides down your body, settling between your thighs, her face level with your throbbing cock. “Cum in my mouth, please. I want to swallow your thick fucking load. Let me drink every drop. Please, baby, feed me your cum.”
“Fuck, Wonyoung… you’re killing me.” You groaned.
She grabs your cock with both hands, stroking furiously while her tongue swirls around the head. “Mmm, my pussy tastes so good all over your cock. I love it!”
She takes your cock deep into her throat in one greedy motion, gagging loudly as the head hits the back of her throat. Tears are flowing down her face again, but she keeps going, bobbing fast and sloppily, cheeks hollowing.
“Fuck my mouth,” she gasps when she pulls off for air, strings of spit and her own juices connecting her lips to your cock. “Use my throat like a fleshlight. I can take it. I want you to cum so deep I choke on it.”
She dives back down, throat contracting around your girth as she forces more of you inside. Her nose is pressing against your pelvis. The wet, choking sounds are obscene and perfect.
You moan, hand tangling in her hair. The sight of her mascara ruined, lips stretching around your cock, desperately sucking like she needed cum more than air, push you right to the brink.
“Wonyoung, fuck, I’m gonna cum!” you warn Wonyoung, voice wrecked.
She pulls out just in time to beg. Her voice is hoarse, dripping with lust. “Yes, cum in my mouth. I want to swallow every thick drop. Please, please cum for me. Let me taste how much you wanted my tight pussy.”
With a guttural groan, you blow your load, pulsing thick ropes straight onto her tongue, some onto her face. Wonyoung moans, eyes locked on yours as she swallowed greedily, not wasting a single drop. She keeps sucking your tip gently through your orgasm, milking you until you are empty and shuddering. Barely able to stand.
Only when you finally stop twitching does she pull out with a satisfied pop, licking her lips clean. She looks up at you, flushed and messy and utterly satisfied. A wicked smile is visible on her face.
“Happy birthday to me,” she whispers, voice raw.
Wonyoung stays on her knees for a moment longer, licking her lips slowly as the last traces of you disappear down her throat. Her cheeks are deep pink, mascara ruined, hair a wild mess around her face. She looks thoroughly used and somehow more beautiful than ever.
You reach down, gently pulling her up into your arms. She comes willingly, collapsing against your chest with a soft sigh. You grab a box of tissues from the side table and wipe her face and between her thighs, cleaning away the mess of sweat, slick, and cum. She lets you, her head resting on your shoulder as you clean.
“Come on,” you murmur against her hair. ”Bed. We both need to sleep.”
She nods weakly, legs still shaking. You carry her to your room, the one she had never set foot in before tonight. You strip off your clothes and change into something comfortable. You grab one of your oversized white dress shirts from the closet and slip it over her head. The shirt is far too big for her; the hem fell almost to her knees. The sleeves are swallowing her hands completely. She looks so small and soft in it.
Her body curls into yours under the sheets, one leg draped over your thigh. The sight of her wearing your shirt did something strange to you.
Before you fall asleep, you press a kiss to her forehead and whisper, “There’s a lot to talk about tomorrow — a lot we need to figure out.”
“Yeah, tomorrow,” She mumbles. Her fingers curl loosely into the front of your shirt, and she moves closer. she whispers against your lips
“Stay.”
**********
You stir awake. The light is leaking into the bedroom through the half-closed blinds. Wonyoung is still there, curled up tightly against you, her face buried in the crook of your neck, her arms around your waist possessively. Your oversized shirt had ridden up slightly, exposing the smooth skin of her thigh.
She wakes up a few minutes later. You see the exact moment she registers where she is. Her body tensed. She tries to pull away, but moving makes her wince. A tiny, embarrassed sound escapes her throat.
The confident, foul-mouthed woman from last night has completely vanished. Next to you is a shy, blushing Wonyoung who can’t even meet your eyes for more than half a second. The oversized shirt makes her look even smaller than she already is.
“Um…” she whispers. Her cheeks were crimson. “I- I need to use the washroom.”
She tries to stand up on her own and immediately hisses in pain, thighs trembling as she fails to maintain her balance. She realizes that she literally can’t walk. Her legs are too sore, her core too wrecked.
Wonyoung covers her face with both her hands in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I can’t… I can’t even stand,” voice muffled and tiny. “This is so embarrassing.”
You run to the other side of the bed before she can do anything. “Hey, it’s okay. Let me help.”
She protests at first and tries to move again, but that only makes her whimper in pain again. She eventually gives up. You slide an arm under her knees and another behind her back, lifting her against your chest. She buries her burning face in your shoulder the entire way, refusing to look at you.
You set her down gently on the toilet, then step outside and close the door. “Take your time. I’ll be here if you need anything.”
A few minutes later, she calls your name softly, barely enough for you to hear. When you open the door, she is still sitting there, looking impossibly shy, knees pressed together.
“I-I think I need help standing,” she admits. You help her up and support her while she washes herself. You then carry her back to the bed. Once she settles against the pillows, you brush a strand of hair from her face.
“Stay here. I’ll make breakfast.”
She nods, pulling the covers up to her chin, trying to hide from the events of last night.
You make a simple breakfast: scrambled eggs, avocado toast. You arrange everything on a tray and bring it to the room.
Wonyoung is sitting up when you return, still wrapped in the sheets.
You set the tray across her lap and watch as she eats. She takes small bites, clearly conscious of you watching her.
When she finally sets the utensils down, you speak softly.
“There’s a lot to talk about, isn’t there, Wonyoung?”
She swallows hard, fingers twisting in the sheet.
“Yeah,” she mumbles. “There really is.”
Rent-a-friend
Client 39: Miyawaki Sakura
Tags: Angst, Slice of Life
(7.3k words)
Until spring arrives and breaks what winter gave, Snow falls heavy on the flower field's grave. And when alas, the white cherry blossom blooms, Yet, quietly, the winter snow continues to loom.
-
Puffy: OH MY F*CKING GOD THEY'RE SO PRETTY!!!!
That…is the response to how the shoes are painted. It takes a few weeks more before you finally send it off, after spending far too much time making sure every detail is exactly how you want it. You wrap it carefully, double-check the packaging three separate times, and drive it straight to the Ji mansion with the vague anxiety that comes with handing something personal, hoping it survives the journey intact at the back of your beat up van.
You only know the reaction to your work by the way your phone explodes.
The first message is a photo of Jiyeon standing in front of the building. The second is blurry. The third is somehow blurrier.
And the fourth is a video that you just pressed play.
The camera shakes violently as Suhyeon jumps around the living room while her mother laughs somewhere off-screen. The painting leans against the wall in the background, catching the afternoon light from a nearby window, and every few seconds Suhyeon points at it again like she needs to physically confirm that it's real and hasn't somehow vanished. The video contains approximately three coherent words and several excited noises from the household (and some smacks to the wall, presumably from Suhyeon) that probably qualify as a form of excited language. At one point the camera swings wildly toward the ceiling before returning to the painting again, and somehow that only makes your heart bloom even more.
Puffy: THANK YOU!!!!!! MOM IS CRYING IM ALSO CRYING THIS IS YOUR FAULT HOLY SHIT!
A little secret: when Jiyeon throws out profanity, she really knows how to, and it’s totally and entirely unrelated to you, obviously. Still, if she's going to enact the act of swearing, at least it's because she's happy and not because she stubbed her toe.
You: You're very welcome, Puffy.
Three dots immediately appear. Disappear. Reappear. Then…
Puffy: YOU MADE THE SHOE LOOK COOL!!!
Pfff. Out of everything she could have said about the painting, that…might be the most sincere compliment you have ever received as an artist. You two both come from prestigious artistic backgrounds, so you expect a more critical feedback, something about the composition, the moving colours, or it captures the blood, sweat, and tears that Suhyeon pours out to her work.
But nope, you just… made the shoe look cool. If only you got the same kind of response from ‘her’—
"EXCUSE ME! WHO ORDERED WICKED WING?" Oh hey, that's your meal. Probably best to eat before driving home.
-
The drive home is one you could probably do blindfolded, not that you'd ever try. Especially not tonight when it's snowy as fuck.
You've driven this route so many times that every turn, every traffic light, and every oddly placed convenience store feels permanently etched into your memory. And honestly, you need it etched into your brain especially during Winter: Your old van rumbles beneath flickering streetlights, tyres crunching over fresh snow while music from your phone fills the cabin just loudly enough to keep you awake. Otherwise, you would've fallen asleep, frozen, or drowning to the thought of Jiyeon's reaction to the dozens of small requests you've handled over the past few months. Then, somehow, your brain decides to remind you of the time you accompanied a client to Comic Con wearing a sailor uniform.
(Fucking worth it. Got a free figurine afterwards.)
You are roughly ten minutes from home, passing through the road with cherry blossom trees side by side, the heavy white caps bending branches under their weight to replace the flowers, when your phone rings through the speakers.
Sakura.
"Ohaiyo, Kkura." "PC Bang."
"…hello to you too, jackass." "PC Bang."
"Saku—" "PC Bang."
Twenty minutes later, you’re taking the PC spot next to her. She's right about being 'already inside' — she has already made herself comfortable at home, logged into a game. Not so much as a "thanks for making a U-turn on snow-covered roads." This ungrateful girl.
The PC bang glows with rows of monitors and neon lights, a far contrast to the freezing darkness behind the automatic sliding door. Keyboards clacking from every direction while the familiar smell of instant noodles, energy drinks, and poor life choices hangs permanently in the air. Screens flash with explosions, victory screens, and rapidly moving characters while conversations overlap from every corner of the room. Somewhere nearby, someone is arguing passionately with a teammate they've never met (it's the nicest you can say to a LoL game).
In other words, welcome to Sakura's abode.
"Are you calling me here to watch your KDA?" "No."
"Can you at least look at me when answering?" "Queue already, far out."
Three matches later, you wish you had ignored her call and enjoy your time mixing paints at home instead. Drinking tea. Sleeping. Literally anything else.
"How the fuck are you still alive?"
"Built different." "You say that to everything."
"It's called positioning." "More like you disappearing every team fight then magically showing up with four eliminations."
Six matches later, your shoulder pops, your eyes hurt, your wrists hurt, your back is finally suffering-free, mom's spaghetti. Far out, you're too old to play games this well, yet Sakura looks exactly the same as she did three games ago.
Well, maybe not, because she finally removes one earcup. And usually, this is how you know she wants something.
"Hey."
"Hm?"
"Can you be my friend?"
…Huh. You stare at her. Then at the monitor. Then back at her. Uh…
"Are you friendzoning me? Sorry, I don't see you th—"
Yeah, fair enough, you deserve that smack on your arm. Times ten. "Dumbass, I'm serious."
"I get it, sorry sorry." You chuckle. "So…what kind of friend request are we talking about?"
And you feel a buzz in your pocket. Glancing down at the phone screen, you immediately see a new message from Sakura, which would be completely normal if she wasn’t sitting less than a meter away from you. You slowly look over, only to find her staring intently at her monitor with the exaggerated focus of someone pretending they weren't responsible for whatever that just appeared on your phone.
Ok, let’s see what she sends you: A screenshot of the Client Form, with the Requester filled out as Sakura herself (hold up, what?), and the assigned Companion as you (hold up, what now?). The reason is…peculiar.
An event.
…A memorial service?
You stare at the image for several seconds, reading it twice just to make sure you're not misunderstanding something. Then you slowly turn your head toward Sakura again. She somehow manages to become even more interested in whatever is on her screen.
"…fuck no." "Why?"
Without hesitation, you reach over and lightly smack her head.
"That hurts!" "Good, because I still say no. Especially to a fucking funeral."
"Why?!" "You are not submitting that."
Sakura rubs the top of her head with a deeply offended expression. Pretty sure it doesn't hurt her, but you have to interrupt what she clearly believed was a perfectly reasonable solution to the situation (it's not).
"I'm just following the procedure." "No."
"I'm serious!" "No."
"Stop saying no!" "Sakura, we work at the same place."
She pauses for a moment as if she is carefully considering your argument, then points directly at the screen. "Exactly, dumbass."
…Oh. Oh…she's doing it again.
Miss Miyawaki Sakura here hates owing people. Hates with a hard T.
She's someone who buys coffee for a customer just because they bought her one six days ago. Someone who remembers a tiny favor from the delivery uncle who brought extra ingredients for the shop and she adds a bit extra to their bowls free of charge when it was nothing to them. If someone helps her move a box during delivery drop off, she'll somehow find a way to return the favor later. If someone covers for her once for a client, she'll spend weeks looking for an opportunity to balance the scales.
But…she's also exactly the kind of person who would rather create paperwork, contracts, and official procedures than openly admit she needs help from someone she trusts. You could say she is the definition of order.
"I'm still saying no." "Why not?"
"Because if you submit that form, then I'm obligated to say yes." "…ok, and?"
"That defeats the entire point."
Sakura might be upset right now, but sometimes, this girl needs to hear why it's fine to not have anything tied to a contract for once.
"If I only show up because there's a contract attached to it, then that's work," you explain, gesturing vaguely toward the screenshot still displayed on your phone. "That's literally just work. That's not you asking me for help. That's you assigning me a job."
“But…” "But if I show up because you asked me to, that's different."
“Bu—” “You know I’m right.”
She responds by pulling her hoodie slightly higher, as though hiding behind fabric somehow invalidates your observation.
"Look," you sigh, spinning slightly in your chair. "Let's have no forms, assignments, approvals, contracts. None of that shit. I'm happy to come with you, Kkura."
"But it's unfair, because I'm asking you to do something."
…Oh god this girl can be the best comedian if she wants to. You laugh so hard your belly starts to hurt.
"Kkura-ya, you have covered my shifts before. You've sat through three-hour client debriefs when I was sick. You helped me build my profile on the website—"
"They really need to update the site." "It works fine, no?"
"Bruh."
"My point is that you've literally been doing favors for me for months. Did you send me an invoice afterwards for each good deed?" Now that got her to shush. "Did you make me fill out a request form?"
Still silent. "Did you charge me?"
Your point probably has got to her head at this point, hopefully. "Well, there we go."
Sakura slowly sinks lower into her chair. Another thing about her is that…when she loses, she sulks like a kid. "I don't like it."
"I know."
You really do know. She's trying so hard to turn this into an official request, wants paperwork attached to it, and some clear guidelines. She’s not wrong — it's safe, secure, and if there's paperwork involved, then nobody owes anyone anything. Nobody has to feel bad.
"Still, you don't owe me a favour, never."
"But—" "Never."
-
Sigh.
You have thrown out every objection you raise, every explanation you patiently gave. Hell, this conversation could have been avoided if she simply clicks a different option. Yet the morning two days later, you wake up to three notifications. The first is the completed client form. The second is the approval notice, and the third is a receipt for seven d— wait, hold up, seven days? Didn't she say only for one event?
"Ya Sakura." You ring her immediately, and yes, not even a hello from you. "Fuck no."
"What?" "No."
"What are y—" "Why are you buying the seven days package?"
"Just because?" Oh this girl is playing the ignorance game, alright.
"Sakura, the service lasts only three hours."
"Well, approximately." "Then why?"
You hear rustling on the other end, probably her pulling her blanket over her face. "Well, that's the most basic one I can do. And you should be grateful, mister."
"…Why?" "I gave you a 5 stars review. And increased your rating."
Remember, violence is illegal, and Sakura knows where you live, so she will expose your IP address. "You are so irritating."
"I know. I have been told that a lot."
"By me." "Yep."
The contract officially starts two days later, and nothing practically changes. Sakura still calls you whenever she wants, sending you photos of the bowl of ramen she made, still sending you brain rot memes or recordings of her Overwatch matches. Basically, same old, but with paperwork involved this time.
Which is way, way worse. She keeps saying "You are contractually obligated to listen to this," "You're contractually obligated to answer," "You're contractually obligated to appreciate this meme." At this point, you're becoming contractually obligated to shove the paperwork into her mouth just to make her stop saying that phrase.
Sigh. Luckily you only landed mostly on clients like Gaeul and Suhyeon, because you really don't know how one truly navigates around a wild card like her.
Well…sort of. It only takes one sign at the time, and the first one comes three days before the memorial.
The two of you are eating dinner after work. The ramen shop is unusually quiet tonight and most of the dinner crowd has already left, leaving a few customers scattered around. Suhyeon would've joined the two of you like usual; it’s a habit of hers to always join you two ever since you first introduced her to the ramen shop. Unfortunately, freezing temperatures and an upcoming recital don't exactly mix well for a ballerina. It is a shame, although the evening is more comfortable. And conversations come easier, maybe. Actually, that is a good word to emphasise, because Sakura has spent the last ten minutes staring into her bowl and swirling the noodles around with her chopsticks.
On the other side of the table, you slurp.
"Should I cry?"
Anyway, you nearly died. Fuck, a noodle went down the wrong pipe. The cough was so violent the noodle was probably going to escape from the eye socket instead.
"What?" "At the memorial."
"What about it?" "Should I cry?"
"What are you on about?"
Her brows furrow, seemingly genuinely confused. Like somehow you've failed to understand a perfectly obvious question. Doesn't help when she continues with "I'm asking because I don't know."…and damn, this is harder than guessing whether you win the 50/50 in gacha games, who knows if she's ragebaiting or is actually that oblivious to the concept of grieving.
"Sakura." You slowly lower your chopsticks. "You can't just schedule crying like your game livestream."
"But everyone else will cry, no? It's natural." "Then everyone else cries."
"What if I don't?" "Then you don't. Bro, wha—"
"What if they notice? What if they become judgmental?"
It's been a few years since you have become acquainted with Sakura and become good friends with her, but this is the first time she gets so worried about other people’s perception of her. Without the usual sarcasm in her tone, Sakura is figuring out what grief is supposed to look like…and apparently nobody ever taught her.
The questions continue as the days go by, and it's easy to be confused if she's studying for finals or not. And these questions were…something.
Kkura: Are flowers performative?
Let's just…put the phone down and walk around the studio. Ok, come back, and read it again. Fucking hell, what kind if question is this?
You: Stop searching how to grieve on Tiktok ffs.
Kkura: I have only scrolled for like 30 mins
You: Turn it off.
Kkura: One of them was played with Subway Surfer gameplay, too.
You: BRUH
-
The night before the memorial service, she drops by your place and stays far longer than usual. For backstory, she has a habit of appearing at your studio for ten minutes and tends to overstay her welcome for three hours.
At this point, it's nice to have a cat (aka, Sakura) in the house, especially when it is a freezing void beyond the windows. Thin sheets of ice cling to the panes, soft white breath fogging the glass whenever you get too close. Across the street, the convenience store is still brightly lit, one lonely cuboid of warmth in an otherwise dark neighbourhood. Most of the apartment buildings have already gone black.
The inside is far softer than the world outside. Comfortable and quiet. Sakura is curled up in the corner of your couch, hoodie pulled halfway over her hands. You're sitting in the armchair opposite her with a mug of coffee that's long since gone cold.
Neither of you is really doing anything. You're supposed to clean up the brushes before she barged in, but it seems like your company is greatly needed. The memorial service is tomorrow, and it is clear that it's still sitting in the back of her mind.
"So…" She keeps her eyes on the coffee table. "Does grieving hurt?"
"That's…a broad question." "I know."
"It depends." "On what?"
"The person you’re grieving for."
She nods slowly, seemingly accepting that answer for…around seven seconds. Then…
"Was that what happened when you broke up with your ex?"
…Ok. That is the last thing you actually expected her to ask. The confidence she’d somehow gathered lasts exactly half a second, and the colour drains from her face almost immediately.
"Huh?" "What?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
“I-I mean—” She sits uptight so quickly the blanket slips off her laps. "N-no, wait—that—that came out wrong." Both hands shoot out in front of her, waving frantically as if she can shove the question back into her own mouth. "I-I wasn't trying to—I mean, I wasn't asking because—ugh."
She squeezes her eyes shut. "Forget I asked that."
There’s something oddly heartbreaking about it, truly. She's trying so hard to understand this, you have to forgive this poor girl. Well, since the question is already being thrown out to the ring, how should you answer this, hm? An exhale through your nose and glance towards the ceiling later, you arrive at:
"…well, grief might be too strong of a word for my situation."
"...really? It sounds painful, no?"
You let out a short laugh. "Wow, thanks, Miyawaki." "I'm being serious."
"…I know."
And she’s right, the breakup hurts a fucking lot. More than you wanted to admit at the time the fading memories refuse to come back, when she nonchalantly broke up with you on a winter night. That scar is still there — the white breath escaped your pale lips, the shivering of your hands, and the crushing of your heart.
You glance down at your mug. "Grief is heavier. It…usually comes from losing someone you can't get back."
Sakura listens quietly.
"Death. Family. Friends. People who are gone." Your fingers tap lightly. "But a breakup…it's kinda weird."
"Weird?" "They're still there, you know?"
"Ah." Sakura nods.
"They still exist, still living their life. Like, I can call them and see them, theoretically. Unlike you and your friend. The person is still there, but…" You sigh. "...the relationship isn't."
Sakura nods. "It's…similar then?"
You stare out the window. "It's probably somewhere in the same neighbourhood. Close enough, I would say."
"Do you.." You glance over, and she is chewing lightly on the inside of her cheek, eyes drifting everywhere except you, clearly debating whether she should continue the question. And not going to lie, the hesitation makes you smile.
"Sometimes." The answer is annoying to you, but the honesty is surprising. "It's not like I want her back. Just…I wish it didn't end in such a shitty way."
There. That probably sounds more accurate. Maybe what truly hurts you the most was watching something beautiful slowly heading towards the bad ending. Maybe. The room falls silent again, like even inanimate objects are giving a moment of silence.
"So…if someone dies, and you miss them." She eventually speaks. "And if someone leaves, and you miss them too…" She frowns immediately. "Fucking hell, emotions are stupid."
This girl, far out. (Lmao) "You conclude with that?!"
"Yes." "After all that?"
"Yep". She pulls her hoodie further over her head, clearly sulking. As if that makes her argument more convincing (hell no).
"You're really trying to understand the concept of grief for tomorrow, huh?" "Yea. What are you gonna do about it?"
"Sakura."
She finally looks back.
Now, you can repeat your point. She doesn't need to solve grief. She doesn't need to understand every emotion, guidebook, article, random Tiktok feeds, or graphics. She just needs to show up and pay respect. She can leave when she wants to, cry if she wants to, be sad if she wants to, confused if she wants to. You can say all that again to drill it in her head.
Instead, you tell her: "Just…do what your heart tells you to."
She stares at you for several seconds, clearly stunned by such an abstract answer (You are too). But then, she lets out a long sigh and sinks deeper into the couch. "Okay."
"You’re accepting it too easily, what the hell."
'Well your answer is annoying, but you're also annoyingly right." A laugh escapes her before she can stop it.
The anxiety doesn't disappear completely, sure. Tomorrow is still tomorrow, and nothing you say tonight is going to magically erase that.
But she looks less trapped inside her own thoughts. And for Sakura, that's probably the best outcome you could hope for.
-
Snow starts falling before sunrise.
Large, soft flakes drifting through the pale morning sky, blanketing the passing rooftops, tree branches, and parked cars until the entire city is one white plane.
You spend an extra thirty minutes clearing the windshield of your van and fixing up the chains onto the wheels. The heater takes forever to warm up, this damn junk.
By the time this same junk parks outside Sakura's place, the sun finally gets out of its white blanket. She climbs in wearing an oversized black coat, a charcoal scarf wrapped high around her neck, covering her mouth. Her hair is tied back far neater than usual, probably a result of spending a long time deciding how presentable she should be.
"…Morning." "Hey."
And neither of you say anything for about an hour.
The windshield wipers rhythmically push away melting snow while low volumed music trickles through the speakers. Outside, pedestrians move carefully along icy sidewalks, umbrellas collecting white flakes that refuse to stop falling.
Sakura is staring out the window.
Normally, she'd have found something to complain about by now. The weather that’s hindering the road, how slow you are at driving (please drive safely, unlike this girl who plays GTA like it owes her money), the sleep-inducing music, and the slow-ass heater.
Instead, "She hated winter."
"…hm?" "Her."
This is the first time her voice sounds…maybe it's not right to describe it.
"She'd complain about how cold the snow was. And wished it was warmer." "Ok that is not possible, the heck."
The smile disappears almost as quickly as it arrived, leaving the humming of the air-con filling the space. And eventually… "We met because we were dogshit. At streaming."
"Ah." "Three viewers, by the way. One was me, second was probably my laptop. The third might have been a bot."
"…pff." "Ya. I was serious, you little shit."
"Yeah, I figured, Miss Hustler." "She…was the same as well."
Sakura looks back out the window. "We'd finish streaming, then call each other until four in the morning since we were close with each other."
"Talking?" "Nah, mostly complaining. About no viewers and shenanigans we have to do to get more."
"Sounds…nice." "Shut it, Mr. Sarcasm."
A faint chuckle escapes her. "We kept saying we'd quit, but neither of us actually did. We kinda…grew up together, you can say that."
The snowfall thickens. The world outside the van turns pure white save for the occasional traffic lights glowing through the snow. You stay silent and let her continue.
"We learned everything together. Editing, streaming, sponsorships, trolling with hate comments, and how to say fuck off to creeps." She smiles at the memories. "Every little milestone — one hundred followers, one hundred pancakes. One thousand, we spent a thousand US dollars for stupid shit. Vlogs about our first joined collabs, sponsor, donation, all that stuff."
Her fingers absentmindedly trace circles on her thigh. "It was nice."
Another thing about Sakura: when she says something, she really means it.
"Then we fought."
You side-glance at her. "Over what?"
She isn't looking back. "Not even something worth fighting for."
"No?" "Not at all. Stupid, even."
"What happened?" "Internet controversies."
You frown. "...I'm gonna need more than that."
"We were both dead as fuck, streaming for like a week straight." She sighs. "Someone clipped something and was taken out of context. I thought she was badmouthing me, and she thought I was looking down on her."
…Huh. "Initially we were okay, but the exhaustion was not helping us stay rational. So…we argued constantly, had a fight that was blown out of proportion, and we both had too much pride to apologise."
The snow stops falling for a brief moment. "And we just stopped talking, I guess. And we won’t be able to talk for….ever."
The rest of the drive passes without another word.
-
The parking lot is already half full, black sedans and white SUVs slowly disappearing beneath fresh layers of snow. People move carefully across the icy pavement dressed almost entirely in black, umbrellas blooming open one after another as delicate flakes continue drifting from the grey sky above.
Neither you nor Sakura immediately move while the engine idles softly. Sakura sits beside you with both hands resting on her lap. Way too still for her character. She might have been rehearsing today in her head for countless nights. Probably since the night she asked you to accompany her. You can almost hear a checklist running through her mind, a mantra of stand, bow, offer condolences, don't leave too early, don't be too attached nor force herself to cry.
"Sakura."
"Hm?"
"Do what your heart tells you to."
"…you are so annoying." But her shoulders loosen slightly anyway.
Cold air immediate bites through your coat as you both step outside. The wind isn't particularly strong, but it's chilly enough to sting your face. Sakura is definitely smart, bringing that scarf to wrap half her face. (Her smug ass even shows off the hand warmers in her pocket, doesn't even offer you one. This damn troll.) Snow crunches beneath your shoes as you begin walking toward the entrance.
The memorial hall is beautiful…and quiet.
Ok, it is supposed to be quiet, but in a sense, not chillingly quiet. Subdued…maybe.
Arrays of white chrysanthemums line the entrance beneath black ribbons, their bright petals standing out against the monochrome surroundings. Incense lingers gently in the winter air. People continue to arrive and leave in smaller groups, some embrace and bow, others stand together reminiscing through watery smiles.
As you two enter, a middle-aged woman notices Sakura first.
"Sakura?"
The mentioned girl straightens. "Oh…Ms. Huh." She bows politely. "It's been a long time."
"It has. Oh gosh, you look so thin, my dear." The woman smiles sadly. "I wasn't sure you'd come."
"I almost didn–" The words slip out before Sakura can stop them. "I-I mean…I-I…"
"It's ok, I understand. But thank you for coming." She finally glances at you who stands idly behind Sakura. "And you are…?"
"Good morning, ma'am." You bow. "I'm Sakura's…boyfriend."
Sakura freezes harder than the frozen pond outside. You swear even the blood in her veins stops circulating. The look she gives you is absolutely magnificent — pure disbelief and absolute betrayal. The face that says 'I will fucking end your life'.
You bite the inside of your cheek. That's what you get for the hand warmer, you fucking troll (lol).
"Oh my goodness!" The mother clasps both hands together. "I didn't know you were seeing someone."
"...Neither did I," Sakura mutters under her breath.
"What was that, dear?" "N-Nothing!" She forces the brightest smile you've seen all week.
She looks between the two of you before letting out a relieved laugh. "I'm so happy she isn't alone today."
"Thank you very much ma'am." You nod. "Sorry for your loss."
The woman gives one final nod, "Thank you for coming, you two," before excusing herself to greet another arriving guest. As soon as she's out of earshot, Sakura turns toward you and smacks squarely against your arm.
"You fucking dumbass." "It’s funny!"
"It wasn't." "It absolutely was. That's what you get for not getting me an extra hand warmer."
She glares. "I almost…believed you."
"Wait, what?" "What?"
"Shush." "Pff."
At least now she’s not stuck inside her own head.
The portrait of her friend rests at the centre of the room as you two explore further, the altar surrounded by flowers, candles, handwritten letters, and probably some printed photos at different stages of her life. A smiling face frozen in time, young, bright and happy.
You notice Sakura's breathing for a second. Then she straightens her back almost instinctively…but not as stiff as before.
"She always hated that photo, by the way."
"…Looks pretty normal to me." "I know. This girl is just weird."
As the day goes, people gradually recognise her, most likely through the girl. Some approach, hesitate, and some simply wave or nod politely from across the hall. Every mutual friend seemed unsure of how to actually approach Sakura. Eventually, you drift further away to give enough space for Sakura to navigate the conversations herself. And that was when whispers appeared. Quiet, but you pick it up quite easily.
"...She's exactly the same." "I still can't tell what she's thinking." "She's barely reacted." "I haven't even seen her cry." "...She's always been cold." "...Guess some people never change."
There's no point saying back, especially here. You know well enough back then with Suhyeon. People build stories from what they can see above the frozen pond, and Sakura has always been exceptionally good at keeping everything below the water. Of course, Sakura doesn't care either, typical of her.
Every time someone steps away from the memorial board, Sakura wanders over alone reading every message, sticky notes, thank you and apology. Slowly, like she's trying to engrave every word before leaving. One makes her lips move ever so slightly, reading silently. One makes her smile. One makes her press her lips together.
Later, someone announces that guests are welcome to spend time outside before the closing prayers begin. Sakur— wait, where did she go? Did she…where did she go?
Leaving first, you exhale and frantically run around the vast white to try to find this one girl, before you see her alone far away, under a single cherry blossom tree. The branches are completely bare, winter long claimed its blossoms months ago. But snow has settled across every branch with such softness that it almost looks like it’s blooming again. White petals, exactly how she'd described it during the ride.
Just like what she said. Just like what her friend used to like. Just like what Sakura likes.
Everything here is quiet, the world behind you so distant. Muted voices, faint footsteps, life continuing on. Over here, there is only snow, and a Sakura beneath the tree that's still looking up. Snow gathers on her hair, her shoulders, her scarf, but she doesn't brush it off. Her posture holds for a while longer than it should.
"Sak—"
Then the posture breaks.
Her shoulders jerk once, then again. She turns her face immediately, burying it deeper into the scarf. She probably hopes that if she hides enough of herself, it won't count. Her breath breaks, small and fractured. She presses harder into the scarf, as if she can smother the sound of it. Her whole frame curls inward slightly, her pride refuses to be seen like this yet, it just keeps slipping through.
The snow keeps on falling.
And the first sob tears through the scarf. Both her hands clutch the fabric, pressing it against her face as another broken cry escapes. Then another, and another. The build ups of every thing left unsaid, and the memories left unshared, all come apart beneath that tree. Her wails echo across the empty grounds, with each one catches in her throat before breaking free again, harsher than the last.
You hear nothing.
Not like there's anything to hear, but you just…stayed far enough away that you can't. Instead, you turn your gaze toward the lone white blossom above, miraculously and resiliently blooming on a branch untouched by snow.
It simply stays there as Sakura wails.
And like you, who refuses to leave her alone in this white, cold world.
-
You: Hey, are you almost here yet? We're going to this park near the memorial hall. Thank you for coming again, good friend.
-
It finishes just after sunset, purely because no one really wanted to be the first person to leave.
People linger. Conversations stretch a little longer, too. Old friends exchange (or re-exchange, for some) phone numbers and social media handles like they'll actually contact back. Come to think of it, it was your cue to advertise yourself and 'Rent-a-friend', opportunity was right there! A room full of emotionally vulnerable people, Incredible networking chances–no, no, don’t do it. You didn't bring your business card today (and also your conscience tells you otherwise). Shame.
The hall slowly empties.
Snow continues falling outside.
You wait by the entrance while Sakura (managed to) finishes speaking to another mutual friend. She bows politely, exchanges a few words, then walks over without saying anything.
"Ready…girlfriend?" "Oh, I will end you, alright."
Looks like she's okay now…sorta. Some of the tears had dried up on her face. The cold has hidden most of the red hue on her cheeks, but not all of it. Every now and then she sniffs quietly, pretending it's just the winter air. Thank fuck that you have your handkerchief in your pocket at least to wipe them off her.
"Shush." "I haven't even said one word, dumbass." And she still lets you wipe.
The two of you make it halfway across the parking lot before she pinches your arm sleeve.
"Can we…go somewhere quiet?"
You look around: parking lots, mourners, small farewell conversations, tired smiles.
"…got somewhere in mind?"
"Not really."
"Then I do."
Twenty minutes later, you arrive at the nearby town and pull into a small park tucked between rows of sleeping houses. No one is foolish enough to spend a winter evening here.. The playground sits abandoned beneath the snow. The swings sway ever so slightly in the breeze. A single park bench rests beneath an old tree whose branches have caught enough snow to keep the seat mostly dry. Lucky you.
You brush the snow away with your sleeve. Sakura sits, and you sit beside her.
Silence. The distant hum of the town beyond the tree. And snow. It always snows.
"Thanks…"
"Hm?"
"For coming with me."
"You asked. And pay me too, by the way." "Idiot."
Another minute passes. You don't speak, because you are aware that she wants to say something. Eventually…
"I was…honestly devastated."
You don't interrupt.
"I thought…I thought someone played a damn prank with me, you know? I reread the message six times." Her laugh dies almost immediately. "Then I checked everyone else's condolences posts, hoping one of them would say sike at any second."
Well, guess no one did.
"I sat there just…looking at one spot on the ceiling. And I just–-" She chokes. "I just…I hated myself, damn it. I kept telling myself to message her next month, after this event, after this sponsorship, after I hit another sub count, but I just fucking keep delaying it."
Silence again.
"I'll talk to her once I'm successful enough, less awkward, once enough time has passed. Well, turns out…"
You don't dare to answer. There isn't a right one in your mental notes to really tell her. You just let the wind fill the space, until Sakura suddenly tilts her head upward. You follow her gaze to find the clouds begin to clear up, tiny stars slowly emerge between patches of clouds.
"She loved stars." "Hm?"
"Every year." She smiles. "She'd literally come to my house. We used to live pretty close to each other, and tell me to touch grass once a year." Her voice becomes completely deadpan as she imitates her. "It prevents psychic damage, she says."
That's so dumb, what the fuck. "…Pff, bro, what?!"
"Yep, and we both stood outside anyway." She leans back against the bench. "We'd be in the middle of ranked. Saw a bunch of stars, and we went outside immediately, no buts."
It's the first time all day (or all week) hearing her talk about her friend without immediately cowering herself back behind a shield. And you can't help but just smile adoringly at her.
And the words leave her naturally. "I miss that idiot. So much."
You continue staring upward, and so does she. Minutes pass, the cold gradually settles into your clothes, but neither of you mind.
Eventually, she speaks. "I can't remember the last time I sat beside someone that is not you without putting on a face." She let out a big sigh. 'It's nice, just sitting like this."
"Well…make room in your heart then, won't you, my lovely and pretty supervisor?"
Sakura blinks and looks at you, in which you can only shake your head. Hm? Well, if it’s not you, then who is it?
Both you and Sakura turn around to find a bundled-up figure walking towards them, carrying two canned coffees. She stops behind them, looking at Sakura, and then at you. Heh, she is here.
"…does this go under my pay check, good friend?"
You grin. "Took you long enough, Gaeul."
"Hey, it's dark, and I suck at directions, remember?"
Sakura stares at the girl, completely confused. "Wait, why are yo— how did you get here?" Gaeul?"
Gaeul shrugs. "You looked like you needed someone besides him." Then she narrows her eyes at you. "And because he called me at 4am this morning since I couldn't answer his text."
"Ok, snitch."
She rolls her eyes before sitting down on Sakura's other side as naturally. For a few seconds, nobody says anything…because Sakura simply looks between the two of you. Well, look at Gaeul. She is glaring intensely at you, actually.
"You scheming motherfucker." "I'm putting that on my resume."
Gaeul, on the other hand, nudges the still warm canned coffee into the older girl's hand. "You looked sad."
"Thanks." "Someone should bother you to cheer you up."
"Someone did." Sakura side-eyes you. "Dude played the fake boyfriend act. For fucks sake."
Gaeul gasps. "You did? That is so mean! She deserves better."
"Hold up, huh?"
The laughter comes easily after that. Small in a moment, loud in another. Comfortable, even. And then, Sakura's phone vibrates.
Jiyeon: I heard what happened. I'm really sorry. I will tag by every day now, who cares about diet? You don't even have to talk. I will just make hand sign for you. Just... don't disappear, please?
Sakura reads the message twice, three times. A tiny smile appears, then a wider one. She lowers her head slightly, hiding the expression behind the rim of the warm coffee can this time. A tear slips free anyway, presumedly happy years. "Looks like touching grass once a year wasn't enough."
You look at Gaeul, then back at Sakura. "Well, good thing you got us to drag you outside now."
"…Heh. I like the sound of that."
Since the memorial began, since the week she shows you the form, heck, since the first day you two met, this is the first time she doesn't argue with you. She simply looks back up at the stars.
And this time, she is not looking at them alone.
-
After the cold winter passes Until spring comes again Until the flowers bloom Stay here a little longer Stay here a bit more.
-
Painting white is surprisingly difficult.
Ok, it's supposed to be…white, simple, and empty. White can be the blue where shadows settle, the gold where sunlight kisses the petals, the pink where neighbouring branches reflect against one another, the gray beneath overlapping blossoms— ok at this point the complexity of this branch is overwhelming that you are rambling nonsense.
Which explains why you've spent nearly four hours staring at it.
Spring finally arrived.
Outside your apartment, the white cherry blossom tree has completely bloomed.
Unlike your utterly terrible description, the branches that had once carried only snow, now explode into clusters of pale white blossoms, every petal glowing softly beneath the sunlight. A gentle breeze stirs through the neighbourhood, carrying loose petals that dance lazily across the pavement before settling against parked cars and the studio windows.
And your studio window captures quite a perfect frame that you are trying to encapsulate in your canvas. But to be fair, working in a space that consists of scattered paint tubes, dried brushes, empty coffee cups, and enough sketchbooks lathering around, you have made a convincing argument for any reasonable person to tell you to clean it up.
Fortunately, you aren't one. You paint and get paid to be 'friends' for a living.
Anyway, you dab and streak another stroke onto the canvas.
"Too cold." You add another hint of yellow. "Ah fuck, too warm now."
Painting truly is arguing with yourself constantly until both sides are satisfied…or a third party interrupts. In this case, the constant vibration of your phone. You already ignored it before, but it keeps on buzzing. Again and again.
"…What now…" You don't even need to look at the screen to find out that Sakura is annoying you again.
Kkura: Wyd?
You: Painting.
Kkura: Ew. Working.
You: I will beat you up.
Kkura: Reported.
You snort.
You: For?
Kkura: Harassment. Pic?
You lift the unfinished canvas just enough to snap a quick photo before sending it. And immediately:
Kkura: Ugly.
This fucking b—
Kkura: Jk. It looks nice. Should've painted me.
You: Dafuq why?
Kkura: Idk, people can't tell the difference between me and the flower anyway.
You mutter the words aloud before bursting out laughing at her antics.
And yes, over the past few months, Sakura slowly returns back to herself again. Nobody truly ever goes back to who they were before grief, but it's close enough — the practical questions about understanding grief have disappeared, and late-night overthinking is less frequent. Instead, your phone gets flooded with messages about absolutely nothing. She'll call just to complain about a ranked teammate. Send you blurry photos of instant noodles. Start an argument over something she made up five seconds earlier. She basically finds new ways to mix with her old antics of being an annoying ass.
Which is comforting.
You'd honestly been worried after the memorial, thinking she would try to distract herself with extra work with Rent-a-friend, the ramen shop, and streaming in a span of multiple days. But no, she is recovering in an unexpected yet healthier way, which soothes your mind.
She finally accepts Gaeul's invites to lunch now instead of making excuses. Trying to talk about her feelings (not all of it, but she decides to be honest about herself) to late-night customers at the shop, whether they listen or not. You'd even caught her chatting with Suhyeon online (pretty sure it was a League of Legend lobby chat. Oh boy.)
Miracles do happen.
Kkura: By the way, I need you to tag with me next week. Gaeul is making another instance of shit curry again.
You: Go suffer yourself.
Kkura: Fuck you.
Sounds just like your usual conversation with her, indeed — Ok, enough procrastinating, time to set the phone face down, because the cherry blossoms aren't going to paint themselves. Another stroke, another adjustment. Oh hey, the painting is beginning to come together.
Knock knock.
Eh, probably a neighbour, or another package of paints that you may or may not have ordered and forgot that it's coming today.
"Door's open!"
The wooden door slowly swings inward, and you continue to paint without looking up.
"Just leave it by the table—"
You wish you didn't turn your head at all. The sentence dies halfway out of your mouth, and your grip tightens. Why? Why is she here? She shouldn't be here.
Standing just inside your studio, framed by the warm spring sunlight spilling through the open doorway, is someone you haven't seen in a very long time. The long dark hair, the same smiley eyes, the same habit of calmly looking around before speaking, as if making sure she isn't interrupting.
Neither of you says anything.
Outside, a breeze sends another wave of white petals drifting past the open window, and one lands between the two of you. The room suddenly feels much smaller, and your heartbeat is the loudest thing inside it.
And finally, you set the brush down.
"…What are you doing here, Baek Jiheon?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:
Sup. The final girl has been revealed.
This chapter has been in the back of my mind for a while. Genuinely, a very interesting topic to write, but I had such a hard time how to pull it off without making it so depressing. Bet you didn't expect a staff to request a fellow staff for the service heh. After all, we humans are social of social interaction, a friend won't hurt.
Special thank you to @valentinedrifter @toshyun @autumnyacorn for proofreading (Sakura, Jiyeon, and Gaeul are also idols i dont get to write often too lol.)
Well, now that Jiheon has been revealed. You have to wonder, why is she back? Time to wait kek.
Thanks for reading! Cya~
PRETEXT & PREDISPOSITION
male reader x jang wonyoung
25k words
Hi, as many of you are aware. https://fanprose.com/ is currently an alternative for this genre of smut and I hope if there's any holdouts here on tumblr, you'll respect my decision in only posting from now on to fanprose exclusively.
you can read this story here: https://fanprose.com/stories/birds-of-paradise/chapters/1
VALHALLA (ft. Tzuyu)
tzuyu x male reader smut
7k words
Yeah, okay, whatever—you'll admit it: you're obsessed with Tzuyu's thighs.
It is what it is.
You are but a man, a living being: flesh, blood, pulse; an internet connection and access to hyper-zoomed photos and slow-motion fancams and excessive manifestos on Chou Tzuyu's legs and Chou Tzuyu’s waist and Chou Tzuyu’s perfect dimples and smile and the golden-ratio proportions; the S-curve, the hourglass of her; none of which get as straight to the point as these carefully curated comments:
notice me mommy
pleeease sit on my faaace
let me dieeeee between those thighs good looooooorrrrdddd
(Or, for the cinephiles: the quote-tweet of a poorly composited clip; one side—Tzuyu shaking ass, the other—a GIF from Mad Max: Fury Road of the guy jumping off a speeding truck yelling WITNESS MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
But you know what?
Fuck yeah: witness you, indeed.)
Witness you now, camped out in her dressing room—your home for the past fifteen minutes—listening to the roar of tens of thousands of people bleed through concrete and steel while you wait with your VIP pass and your fast-fracturing patience and your cock heavy and in a far worse state than it was backstage at the Victoria’s Secret show; that had Tzuyu in a number that pushed her tits up so delightfully it crashed their whole website; shopping carts flooded by wishes for cleavage that could look half as glorious as hers.
And then she's there, or here, and you're drafting a manifesto of your own.
“Baby—” is how Tzuyu starts, and all it gets her is a hand around her waist, fingerprints pressed into sweat-slicked muscle, and she just goes with it—lets herself be reeled through the threshold and spun into you until the arrangement goes: 1) the door, 2) her body, 3) your cock, 4) you.
“Hell of a show,” you coo into her ear, pulling out the shiver she's kept coiled tight just for this moment—a pressure valve, a controlled detonation, released the second your thumb presses into the meat of her thigh.
“Baby—” again, and your girl is burning up: stage-lights hot, dimpled cheeks gone rosy red, flushed throat to sternum, wrapped up in what is just a feat of costume design and structural engineering and frankly the pinnacle of human craftsmanship: the leather corset cinched around her chest, doing theological work with her tits; the matching hot-pants sealed over her thighs (likely had to be poured on earlier, left to set, that's the only possibility); the knee-high boots she is absolutely not going to be able to walk out of here in.
She leans anyway—gracing you with more room to work in, rolling herself against you, because there's a countdown until you both have to clear the stadium and it's only hard and fast from here on out.
(Don't concern yourself with whatever wreckage survives into the aftermath, you're not going to see this room ever again, anyway.
Well. Until next tour.)
“Need a minute?” You're busy taking stock: the rapid shallow breaths, the copper-spun hair matted to skin, the sweat tracing her collarbone and running rivers to places you'll find the end of soon.
Tzuyu tilts her chin up, cocks an eyebrow. That stadium-filling smile. So ruthlessly, indiscriminately gorgeous. Real breath-taker, soul-stealer, habitual cock-hardener; your girlfriend (you lucky, lucky fucker). Another grind of her hips against you finds you stretching. “Could you even wait a minute?”
“No, but I thought I'd be polite and ask.” You shrug, bump your hips back, far less graceful and subtle than the little ditty she pulled off; through your denim, dragging across her abs, a point of punctuation on her body. “Consent and all.”
“Oh?” She laughs; small, private, non-transferable to anyone outside this room. Rises on her toes so the tip of your cock drags down to where she actually wants it, takes your face in both hands. “Is this something I'll need to consent to?”
“Just your standard offer for concert aftercare,” you deadpan. “Very exclusive. One provider.”
“That's funny. I don't remember subscribing.”
“Opt-out situation,” you tell her, lips finding the exact junction where salt and sweet meet on her neck. She sighs, end-to-end. “Really have to read the fine print.”
“You know how I am with that sort of stuff.” And it's really something; your Tzuyu underneath everyone else's Tzuyu—stage-beautiful but zero performance left in those to-die-for cheekbones; just her, released and free, origami in your hands, folding like she was always going to—a swan, some sort of songbird, or maybe simply a fucking lawn chair, if permitted. “You get your hands on me and I just can't help but say yes.”
Tzuyu: dressed like this and saying shit like that.
Yes, you both are embarrassingly, irretrievably, categorically gone over each other; and it's your problem, and hers, you've both long made peace with it, ready to be buried in clearly marked graves, side-by-side: here lies Chou Tzuyu and her secret boyfriend who fucked each other well and truly to death.
So, of course you're going to kiss her.
Lips on hers—same every time, new every time—her sighs feeding into your lungs, hands fisting in your shirt, hips translating heat into friction. Her tongue finding yours in ceremonial greeting; sparking up the sign outside, reading: occupied, all yours, always been yours, you just had to show up and smile.
And it's the release from her, all of it: everything that's been pulled taut since soundcheck, since this morning; each glance she's had to swallow, instinct suppressed by choreography and professionalism and forty thousand watching eyes.
The kiss compounds, stacks on stacks. Her leg lifts, hooks behind your shin, grinds the core of her against you—more, wanting more.
You stop yourself. Pull your lips free. The whimper that follows is pitchy and involuntary and criminally cute.
Her bottom lip wobbles, doing its intended and well-documented work on your heart.
“Why?” she asks—genuine, adorable, the whole bullshit shebang—how could you ever deprive an angel like this of such an innocent/filthy carnal desire?
You peel her hands from your neck, leaving them at her sides. Like a good girl, she waits.
Then you slide down to your knees.
The sound she makes could shatter something; it settles for the room's acoustics, forces it into submission, bends it over a knee.
“Ah,” she exhales. “That's why.”
Hotter down here. Always is: down-lights been baking her all night and it radiates off every inch, and at this distance—breathing her in, flooding your airways with the tangy-sugary-rock-salt-fucking-umami-scented compound of Tzuyu after three hours on a lit stage, the heat pooling thickest right at the deep crease where her legs meet. Coherent thought exits the building, it was never given a backstage pass, and the inside of her knee gets an open-mouth kiss—she nearly keels over completely, hands scrabbling for your hair.
“Oh God—” and you can hear the laugh underneath it, the perpetual disbelief at how fast she comes apart. “You have no idea how long I've been thinking about this.”
“I have some idea.”
“Your fault,” she says, and her voice fractures on it—”oh—standing at the barricade, staring at me the whole time; you have a problem you know—always looking at my—”
“Precisely.”
(And permit the detour: just to pontificate about Tzuyu's thighs because they warrant it.
Her thighs are strong. Belonging to both the Goddess and the statue depicting her—inspired by myths, carved out of marble—everyone gets to see the output; nobody gets to feel the mechanism but you. Thousands of hours of training and dancing condensed into lean muscle that locks on either side of your skull and could, if you don't hurry up and get on with it, end you.
But you're with the manifestos on this one—it'd be a perfect way to go. Heat coming off them in waves, obscene against your lips, all that tension gone soft and pliant the second your mouth's on her, flexing when she likes something, gripping when she likes it more—under your palms, against your jaw, clamping over your ears; two years deep and not one degree cooler about it.
Glory, glory, hallelujah.)
Your tongue drags higher. Slow. Taking stock along that honey-gold strip of skin. She tenses under your mouth—quads jumping—and her fingers in your scalp go from grip to claw.
She breathes, “You're unbelievable.”
“I've been told.”
“There's other places for your lips besides my legs you know—ah—”
The rest dissolves: you're busy running your tongue along the seam where leather draws a strict border against the plush of her thigh, finding the points where she's holding the most tension, that make her hips buck up, where the fabric is already warm and damp and about to get so much worse.
It earns you a warning: “You need to get these pants off me.”
“Give me a second.”
“You've had all night—”
“Shh.”
“Shh?”
“Let me appreciate you.”
“That’s what the concert was for, honey—”
“No, that was for everyone else,” you correct her, breathe it straight into the leather. “This—” You make a show of it, the séance you’re performing on your knees, spellbound by the tightest leather on the sweetest body. “These—are for me.”
She manages, barely, “Always.”
You nod, reverently. “So. Shorts. Stay on. For now.”
Tzuyu goes quiet. Breath hitches. Oh, she knows what it means, what you want. It moves through her, settles deep, has her relaxing against the door, parting her legs. “Fine.”
Hands hold her cheeks, digging in, the type of shit you revel in; putting your girl through this. Getting closer, deeper in that crevice, slowly, slowly, slow—until her thighs slap against your cheeks, a clapperboard calling action.
And then you put your mouth on leather. On her.
Sighs—turning into unhinged, sloppy sounds—eke through the gap between her thighs and your ears, knees drawing you in, lethal force, and this is one for the history books, something Darwinian, maybe that grave only has room for one; here lies you, suffocated with the biggest pussy-eating grin on your face, found choking on leather and your girlfriend's cum.
Zero complaints there, anyway.
“Oh fuck—”
“Quiet,” you say into her folds, even though experience tells you this word has had little success with Tzuyu; but, honestly, whatever fuels the kink.
“Trying—” she gasps, hips rolling against your face, proving your point. “But you've got a mouthful of my cunt and you're telling me to keep it down?”
“Mostly leather,” you hedge, but Tzuyu really is grinding hard—hard enough that the heat cuts sharp and precise. Press harder, force out more of these keens, ‘til she has to muffle herself with the back of her own hand.
Kneeling at her altar, getting where she's hottest—tongue dragging up and down the inside, lathering under the seams, working into the gap and getting torturously close; wetness already leaking through, running down; scoop it all up, suck it down, drink your holy communion and cherish every drop.
Exactly what she deserves (Tzuyu, the outfit, these thighs). So, so sensitive, it's so rude—a flicker of your tongue, a press of your lips, pure filth rumbled against her skin and she's gasping, writhing, the idol outline breaking, reconstructing into a shape a bit more pliable, dissolving into a soaked, sweat-drenched mess.
“It's always so easy for you isn't it? Hate how good it is—” and it comes out as a whimper, pleasant, tipsy slurring as Tzuyu's voice pitches higher, higher than please, for God's sake, keep it down this time; the very polite request Nayeon made that you fully intend to break.
Has you questioning the thickness of the door, reminiscing about Osaka, the last stop, when Tzuyu got so obscenely loud that Jeongyeon herself burst in to see if her group's dearly beloved youngest was being murdered—only to be yelled at: get the fuck out, he's killing me with his cock.
These thoughts get pocketed, to be added to later.
Nose pressing hard into the peak of her pussy—taking a long, selfish inhale; fingers holding firm against the muscle, lifting her ass off the door so she can sink further down your face.
“Please,” and she's getting desperate, fingers knotting in your hair, trying to hoist you in. “Take them off—I need your mouth on me, I need to feel you—”
“Not yet,” you tell her again, but she blathers on and on—how Tzuyu always gets—at her best and her worst; a bundle of needs arranged in a neat hierarchy, scratch that: it's just a fucked up ouroboros with your tongue at the beginning and the end and her thick thighs and her full-lipped cunt being looped through in the middle of it all.
With your mouth on her, it always is. Sucking bruises into her long legs, taking the skin between your teeth, marking the softest parts on her body, your declarations, her medals she gets to wear later—this is mine, this belongs to me; next concert she'll be forced into shorts cut far too high to hide them. The idea of it, the zoom on the lenses, the high-definition rendering; they'll see it and they'll figure it out: this goddess belongs to someone.
Her mantra confirms it: “Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-pleaaaase—”
You don't slow—not yet—not until she's writhing against the wall and her thighs are clenching and unclenching around your head in a rhythm to match the high and whorish sounds slipping from her mouth. You can hear her start to weep, but her cunt is sprouting tears far quicker; against your chin, down your neck, soaking into the collar of your shirt—you haven't even touched her properly yet.
You'll correct that.
You leave her with one final, deliberate, hard suck of your lips against your favourite bruise. Leave the skin red and glowing with your spit. One gratuitous slap against the curves spilling from the back of her shorts, just to see the ripple.
Then you stand.
Tzuyu blinks slow, can't quite land it. She'd glare if she could aim it—slumped against the doorway, fixing on your lips—shiny, wrecked from your project on her thighs—to drag herself level.
Two fingers under her chin, tilting her face until she's looking at you, meeting your eyes—all that dazed awe pointed straight at you. A nod at the vanity in the corner. “Get over there. Turn around. Bend over. Hands on the counter.”
Tzuyu doesn't say a word. Barely breathes.
Bites her lip, nods, and stumbles her way over.
You track her—flushed, a little disappointed that you left enough integrity in her knees to make the trip. The wobble in her limbs, the stripe of sweat running down her spine, the small of her back, disappearing beneath the leather.
Your girl, your performer, your one and only idol; the most out of this world, hand to God, strike you down where you stand, beautiful woman you've ever been in the vicinity of. The outfit on its way to ruin: tight leather still doing its heroic work against her sweaty tits, hot-pants finding darker shades; midnight stained vantablack from your mouth, from her leaking through; hair coming loose—hours to build, minutes to take apart.
She braces herself on the counter, falling forward until her hands land with a soft thump. The mirror stretches across the wall in front of her, fogged slightly at the edges from the heat churning through the room, and she spots you staring through the glass. Gives you a show, whether she means to or not.
You watch her watch you in the reflection—the instinctual arch of her back as you step closer, habit pushing her ass out to receive you. Hands find her hips, thumbs into the sublime belt of skin above the waistband.
A push here and she preens.
Lips back where they belong; dragging up her spine, her throat, up the columns of temples built by worship alone, feeling the foundations, the muscles tense and flex underneath.
Closer and closer, slurping the sticky-sweetness pooling at the crevasse of her neck and shoulder, setting up camp under her ear, before pitching lower to drag over her jaw, her lips slacking open by themselves and you're going to wedge inside—
“Hurry.”
You breathe into her mouth, “What do you need?”
“You,” she sighs, an exhale, a relief. A kiss atop her chin, the tightening of your grip. She knows it's not enough. “Your mouth. Your hands. Wherever. Everywhere.”
“Everywhere? I've only got the two.” Hands drift higher, up her sides, around her back, slowly, torturously slow, working the lacing loose. Not for need of effort—you've long since learned your way around bobby-pins and double-sided tape and enough knots to make you a certified sailor.
“Anywhere—my—”
The final string comes undone. A shrug has the straps off her shoulders and the corset falling, pasties dropping with it. Leaving her bare from the waist up, and you get indulgent with it, take your time. Look up, into the mirror, take it in. Only for a second.
Accounting for all the best decisions in your life, and every past life too; rewards for time spent in previous reincarnations possibly as some celibate monk achieving enlightenment; only to find in the next leap that true nirvana is actually between Tzuyu's legs.
This current incarnation has you discovering exactly how far down the flush goes, splitting the difference between her breasts; the same ones that fill your hands, splay through your fingers—and they rise and fall, shrill inhales making them heave, nipples pebbling at just a brush of your fingertips.
And Tzuyu, finding her words, the simple, single-syllable vocabulary she has for you: “There—more—yes.”
Toying with them, flicking the peaks, waiting for the right stiffness to pinch. Sharp enough to make her hiss, then ask: “Enough for you?”
“God no,”—loud, decisive, helpless. A demand underneath a laugh. “Your cock. My pussy is literally in tears right now.”
You laugh into her shoulder.
“Weeping. It's so tragic.”
“But does it deserve it?”
“I don't—” and she checks your reflection, honestly considering it. “I don't know. But I do know what I'll do to you if we don't shut it up with your cock in the next minute, and it'll be significantly worse than what you're planning.”
That's more than enough of an answer. You step back, admire the damage. “We'll see about that.”
And the gasp when you free yourself—the button, the zipper, the jeans—because she's been so lost in herself that she's only just realising how much of an entire situation it's been for you since the very start.
You catch it all: the drag of her tongue over her lips, the bite that follows. The shudder, the pupils flooding dark when she sees you.
You say, “You did this.”
“Are you ever not so—” She fumbles, forgetting her words when she watches you step closer, resting the length of you atop her ass with a definitive slap. “So full.”
You lift her, adjust her so she's as tall as she can be—the heels help but don't have her quite high enough for your nefarious ideas; you hold her whole weight in your hands.
She reads your mind, tilts her head back against your shoulder and says, “Go on. Take me.”
Reaching around, popping the button of her shorts, the shudder as you drag them down, her drenched panties with them—over the swell of her hips, down her thighs, force them over the boots until she can kick them off and land them somewhere behind you.
And then it's just her, Tzuyu in knee-high boots and nothing else, long limbs bare and red and littered with your branding; red highlighted against cream, glistening from the slick and the spit.
You step forward, position, aim, level yourself with her. Thumbs press into her ass, parting the valley of her cheeks, edging her knees slightly apart. Fingers firm around her waist, holding her in place, the squeeze of her thighs.
You slide right between them.
“Oh my God—” Her head lifts, eyes clenched shut, fingers scrambling at the counter, knocking over all the pieces that helped put her together hours before, sending them tumbling to the floor. “Always so thick between my thighs.”
You groan, grunt, can't help it—the first slide is unholy. You see it all, watch it through the mirror; the head of your cock emerging from between her locked legs, coming out the other side slick and dark, and it's heat and softness and smooth all around, her cunt lathering you as you push through.
Slowly, carefully, the friction easing with every pass; the schlick sound of it filling the entire room.
“It's going to ruin me,” Tzuyu realises, feeling the way you throb between her, engorged and fighting against the grip of her muscles. “When this gets inside me it's going to fuck me up, isn't it?”
You pass by the rhetorical, focused on setting a rhythm. Something slow, paced, plenty of room to drag achingly along her cunt, let your cockhead push against her clit and force a bit of pressure with each thrust. And Tzuyu responds in kind, finds the motion at once—rolling her hips when you press forward, polishing your thickness with her juices, your cock properly lacquered and stained in budding girlcum.
“Your thighs,” you breathe into her ear, pulling her back against you, catching in the glass two people with unflinching grins on their faces, utterly fucked out of their minds. “Always showing them off, stadium after stadium, leaving them on everyone's mind. You know how many people are probably choking themselves over you right now, yeah?”
“I only care about one,” Tzuyu murmurs back, eyes blinking closed and open again, as if to double-check, maybe it's a dream, maybe the wrecked visage reflected in front of her is too blissful to be true—some bizzaro-doppelganger that just happens to look like her except in her sluttiest, most honest form; tall and proud and tits on display, nipples like pendulums with every thrust, swinging up and down.
“And look at them now. So perfect around my cock,” you grit out, her thighs twitching around you as if they have a mind of their own, pressing you in from either side, God. “It's genuinely insane.”
And the sigh, the quiver, the shudder when you tell her:
“You're made for this, Tzuyu.”
“I know,” she says, words turning into mud; formless, less coherent the more you push. “I know—it's so right. Feels so—fuck—you feel so good. This is all I've been thinking about since—”
“All show.”
“Before then,” and she smiles, laughs, because she has a secret she's been holding. “I knew it. Knew when they showed me this outfit. This ridiculous corset. Those tiny, tight shorts. I told the stylist straight away—this outfit is perfect.”
The smile, pure innocence concentrated into a lie that you almost believe. She rolls her ass back against you, dips her hips into that dangerous vector; the one where her thighs clench and angle your cock higher, where the head of your cock brushes against where she's most swollen, most shamelessly soaked; drinks down the look in your eyes when she does it again and again and again.
“Perfect to be ruined. Perfect to get fucked in. Perfect to make my thighs look so good for you.” The noise you thrust out of her next—a grunt, a throat cleared—enough to get the next words out clean: “Now tell me it was enough to get you to fuck me properly.”
You answer with speed—with force—pushing your cock right through, forcing her clit to flicker roughly, a guttural 'Christ'—from someone's lips—hers, yours, you can't parse it—as your hips piston right into her ass.
“Faster—I'm—” she starts, but you know; because you're melding at this point, sharing one mind, one slick, urgent rhythm that makes the vanity, the mirror, the bottles, the whole stadium seem to rattle.
Knuckles turn white, she's meeting you thrust for thrust now, pushing back against you; each and every time—cock slides through the squelch-smack-sploosh of it, head bumping against her clit, an obscene little kiss with each pass, a call met with a response in the form of a jerk or a whine or just the squeeze of her around you to let you know that yeah, she gets the message.
“Holy—close,” she gasps, grabbing the word and holding onto it like a lifeline—through the thrusting, the trembling thighs and ragged breaths and the way she's so wet your cock is just dripping with it. “So close, so close, don't stop—please—”
Not in a million fucking years.
You reach around, fill a palm with her tits, squeeze, pinch, bring her closer and twist just right to have her body in fits; a seizure that makes her knees buckle together and your vision blur for an instant—but it's enough.
She lifts up—higher, goes to the tops of her toes, as tall as her heels would allow, coming off your cock, letting the tip drag down to land at the centre of her, across her folds—settling against the only place it really belongs.
“Oh-wait-God-fuck-I'm-not—”
You pull her down, push right through that blistering-hot cumhole and thrust hard all the way in, full-length, every thick inch fed to her greedy cunt, and Tzuyu screams.
“God-yes-fuck-you—” and the expletives that follow, something filthy and loud that can't be stopped by any number of walls—and the one thought in your mind that isn't some variation of holy-shit-Tzuyu's-ridiculously-wet-cunt-is-choking-my-cock knows Nayeon's going to have some words about this later.
But her pussy pulses, fights your cock thrashing against its walls; Tzuyu snapping shut around you so hard you can barely move, and she cums and cums and cums; her head thrown back, hair draping over your shoulder; wailing, moaning, cursing your name and your cock and your ancestors and the fact that this is only the first time you've made her cum today and you owe her so, so much more.
Squeezing and wrenching and desperately trying to milk you with every devastating method it has in its arsenal—but you don't fall with it, you don't finish it.
Yeah, God, of course you want to, you're right there, legs dangling off the cliff—but you're not done with her yet, not even close.
So you just hold her against you, let her shake, let her cunt flutter so heavenly around your shaft, her abs flex and quiver under one palm, her heart leaping out of her chest and through the lovely tit you've got a firm grip on. Let her drool onto your shoulder, tongue, mouth gone slack and eyes glassy, looking up at you because it is—reliably, catastrophically—and it bears repeating—every goddamn time.
You twist her, cock slipping out a few solid inches and she makes a sound of loss that would fit in a funeral dirge; but yeah, you just want to kiss her, something rough and claiming, to help her swallow the broken sobs she's still making.
And she kisses you back, desperate, like she wants to hurt you with her tongue and her lips, teeth catching your lower lip; hands, fingers, fingernails clawing at your skin and your hair and there really is only one thing left to say:
“Inside me,” she spits into your mouth; words of a woman who is owed a grand railing and is ready to call in the whole account, backdated to the day you met, “I need your cum inside me. Now.”
She reads the stupid smirk on your face. Bites your lip again.
Again: “Now.”
You step back, length completely sliding out of her; cunt-drool keeping you tethered to her pussy lips.
Tzuyu groans, nearly collapses against the mirror.
“Then earn it, Tzuyu.”
There's little room left for grace, you manage what you can; an awkward-four-legged crab walk because Tzuyu's still shaking and needs you to support her weight as you collapse onto the couch.
A thud and you're seated, Tzuyu falling into your lap; your flawless girl, tits level with your lips, thighs bracketing either side of yours, cunt juice streaming down the plane, and her hands on your shoulders, bracing for what's next.
“Needed this,” Tzuyu sighs; cradling your head closer to her chest, welcoming the tongue that snakes out, rolls around a nipple, the teeth grazing the sensitive slope of her tits.
You jerk your hips, drag your cock through her folds—not inside, not yet—and she grits out your name. “I know.”
“No—you don't,” she tells you, smile on her face, wistful and pretty and she's just melting into your hands on her hips. “You know how hard it was to not go looking for you? All day I thought about—fuck—thought about finding you. Getting on my knees,” she closes her eyes, bringing herself back to some half-remembered dream. “Wanted to take your cock deep and drink you dry and fill my belly full of your cum—but I had to stop. Do you want to know why?”
You don't need to respond; you know the real answer, can feel it thrumming through her.
Tzuyu nods, slow, languid. Leaning in, dipping her head, breath hot against your jaw like she's letting you in on a private confession, something she'd only admit through the longest, sweetest torture. “I wanted you desperate. Hard all day. Needed you thinking about nothing else but me and my mouth and my cunt and my thighs.”
Your cock's fighting your own willpower, levelling with her entrance, you can feel the pulse of her meeting your throb; beads of precum slitting out of your cockhead ready to make the leap into her cunt. It's a game of millimetres at this point—a slip of your hands, a twitch of her hips, a slight fucking breeze; all it would take to break her.
“So I think I deserve a reward—for being so good for you, don't I? Or maybe you're mad at me for not taking your cock sooner—you can tell me I've been bad, that I need to pay you back, that I owe you—” Tzuyu's lips skate across your chin, doing their wicked work, inhaling every wisp of desperation and pure insatiable need that's been simmering underneath your skin all day. “Please, go ahead and put me in my place.”
“Fine.”
A forced exhale—wind knocked out from her lungs and into yours; cunt parting around you hot and slick and Jesus Christ she's so fucking tight, but you drive through it, wrenching her down while forcing yourself up and by the time you're fully hilted there's just one high, continuous sound she's making—a choir of wails, sobs, cries; a blissful chorus.
Her hips tilt to draw you deeper, thighs locking around your waist and there's the whole of your interior life, mind returning to one reliable verdict—you can't help it—death, taxes, and the combination of both when you collect what you’ve been dying for from Tzuyu's tiny, pink pussy and fill her so completely she can launch a one-woman investigation into the existence of the afterlife herself.
And you know her, know your girl, she wants to be more eloquent about it, wants to find a better way to convey how good you're railing her right now—so easily, firm quick strokes gliding in and out of her blistering cunt; guided by your hands holding her waist steady, but all she can manage is the high-level shit, the words that don't really matter but the effort to make them is Herculean nevertheless: “There—God—there—fuck—please—fuck—fuck—fuck—”
You hold her, fuck into her, just watching her—this ideal idol, letting your thighs slap against hers, punishing the muscle; absorbing all the details, the classified information that never leaves your desk.
Her face when you bottom out; the squeeze of her eyes, the slacking of her jaw, this euphoric grin dancing across her lips. Her tits and their heft, the bounce with every stroke—putting a hand back on one, filling your palm whole; the thought there—did you mold them, or were they tailor-made for you—or really, who gives a fuck because a squeeze makes her squeal so delightfully and you know that if you roll it she'll clench, cunt will pulse once, twice, around you and her head will drop back and she'll tell you again—
“More—there—”
“Yeah?”
And mumbling, fumbling around the back of her pretty head, sorting through all the things that may have existed there before you started filling it with thoughts of your cock, diving deep for the words and somehow managing to string them together—”Both—please—your hands, mouth, whatever—touch me more—”
You return your teeth to the other and her volume pitches; whips its way around the room, like it's searching for the cracks, the little gaps under the doorway so it can sneak into the corridor, down the hall—reaching for someone, anyone who can acknowledge how thoroughly you satisfy Chou Tzuyu's cunt.
“Your cock is so damn good,” she breathes; and that's all there really is, plain and simple, the why of it all.
What you've always known—sure you're helplessly, embarrassingly, probably-going-to-ask-her-to-marry-you-eventually down bad for her, even though you both know that you really are.
It's this—pounding Tzuyu's insides and being thanked for it. Her grip, her heat; not just her tits, her whole body, glorious thighs and all; engineered with this application in mind; an absurdly deranged thought to conjure—a decade of discipline, of investment, liquidated against your cock; an endpoint to just bounce mercilessly.
You remind her of it too: “Forty thousand people,” you mark the record into the underside of her tits.
“Please—”
“Every single one of them.”
“I know—please—I know—don't stop—”
“Going home right now,” you drive into her, shattering her on the downstroke, coming back together when you pull her up, just to break her into pieces again when you impale her completely. “Dreaming about these thighs—this body—this tight cunt stretching around me so nice.”
She's just properly gushing now, unashamedly messy with it; from her cunt, down your cock, past the crevasses of her thighs slapping on top of yours and ruining the couch below, but so what, sell it online or something; a Tzuyu-fied cum-stained couch; the sweaty outlines of your fucked, formless bodies on the cushions, would make a great centrepiece in any international gallery.
But anyway, back to the obvious: “It's all fucking mine,” and before you even have to tack on the end of it the question, Tzuyu's already picking up what you're putting down—
“All of it,” she says, just holding herself by your shoulders now, digging herself in, fastening herself down for the storm, “Yours”—once, pounded out of her—“Yours”—again, but broken, shattered; losing its footing in her lexicon. “Only you—only for you.”
And the other thing, what's left when it all slips: the composed, picture-perfect idol facade vacated, checked out, no lens in the world able to catch what's underneath. Just her and her wanton needs—fucked raw, fucked hard, wrung dry and left boneless. If she can walk or make words, or remember her name after this you've fucked up, because this was always her scheme: she chose the outfit, laced herself up in straight-up mainlined sin knowing you'd tear it off, spent all those hours on that stage with this exact destination in mind; so, yeah, hurry the fuck up—pick up the pace.
The couch jostles, fights the wall behind it, the carpet underneath. Something crashes to the floor, rolls off a table, never even mattered. Tzuyu stops holding back, the words come out clean, no longer minced; it was only ever a matter of time, because she's finally getting what she needs and yeah, the whole room, all of backstage, her groupmates down the corridor; no doubt are all well fucking aware.
A problem for later, you suppose.
“They can't imagine,” she says, unique to just her when she's at the end, more coherent, not less. “My tiny pussy—filled so—fucking—deep,” breathlessly, urgently, getting off on saying it, getting off on knowing it's getting you off too, “Stretched—ruined—a big cock full of cum saved just for me.”
Using her in every way girls like her should never be, but pussies like hers are built for—fucktoy, fleshlight, cocksleeve on long legs—holy fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I deserve it—don't I? A nice load, deep inside,” whimpering, proper quiver in her lip, and a last beg for good measure; loading her ammo, cocking her gun, finger on the trigger, “Can't stop—like that—don't you dare—”
Like you could—”Not going anywhere,” you remind her, holding on to where she's flickering between hard and soft; Tzuyu, hot as fuck all over and even hotter when she cums and tells you—
“Harder—”
Trying to—
“Fuck me—”
You're there—
“Please—please—please—”
She only needs to ask once because her cunt is divine, wrapped around you and leaving you with nowhere to go but up and down, back and forth; fucking her with nothing but terrible, wonderful intention until your hand is under her hip, slapped across her ass, forcing her to change the angle so she goes completely rigid and oh—oh—oh fuck—
“So—gah—good—”
Running straight through it—keep the angle; drive harder. The arch of her spine, lifting herself up, abs peeling off your waist and there's a gap, the opportunity—thumb back on her clit and she's clenching around you in warning pulses.
Thighs locking around your waist, hairline fractures in your hipbones, her body winding up—she's—you can feel her everywhere.
A wet choke, a stunned gasp, cunt swallows, gushes, inks something with her cum down the veins of your cock and she says it in case you miss it—
“Fuck—how the fuck do you make me cum so—”
Hitting her, tearing her apart—long, so loud—like she never stopped, and maybe she hadn't; been on that frequency since you first pushed inside her, and it'd make sense—her pupils at that dreamy sheen, stars in her eyes, shot into the stratosphere on your cock—and yeah, you'll take it, die with it, leap off the truck and declare WITNESS MEEEEE for all to see.
But she's not done. Yeah, she's fucked open and out, but her pussy's got other ideas, and her mind's on the same wavelength.
“Yours,” she says, fierce, needy, petulant; the princess turned brat, a rare, precious occurrence. “Give me yours—all of it—now—please—inside—”
And she keeps demanding, the sounds getting worse and better simultaneously; run out of proper onomatopoeia for her cunt on your cock, inventing brand-new ones to make up for it; her moans are climbing back up to join the fray. Despite it all, despite that she's just cum, she's oversensitive, rattling with it, but still taking it anyway, pulling it from you—gorgeous in every way, every inch, every configuration—what you get when you take Tzuyu from the stage and fuck her this hard and for this long and she clearly does not give a fuck that she's literally crying for your cock and cum and cannot stop—
“I'm begging for you to—”
“I'm here,” and her pussy milks it out of you, twists, pulls, grips—long rolling quivers around you. You're sunken deep into her, can't move, can't do anything but twitch and you don't know when you started but you're kissing her hard, groaning into her throat and following her over.
In the midst of it, cock spasming inside her, detonation on either side of your timeline—was there a before, is there an after? Or is there just this, now; soul leaving your body and flooding this ludicrously tight, hot cunt and—where were you again, what's your fucking name even—do you even care to find out because this gorgeous, unbelievable, unreal girl has got you in the sweetest embrace, lips, arms, pussy and all; clearly working through her own aftershocks, draining every last drop and stray thought out of you, and it goes on and on, and her legs are holding you there and it goes on a little longer.
White—at the edges, her cunt, your vision, it's all the same at this point; just fucking it all into her, stuffing her full, bulging her tight belly with you whole; all of you, all of the future yous too and what do you have to say for yourself:
“Take my fucking cum, Tzu—”
And what does she have in response?
“So much—all mine—God, fill me, please—”
It comes back gradually.
Names, places, details colouring the edges.
Tzuyu—small, floating on air, hovering on your cock, eyes half-lidded, glazed, satisfied; something that leans narcotic. Faint tears tracking down her cheeks, somehow reaching your tongue, or it's her sweat, or yours; but it's just hot and salty and that just about sums up the both of you.
You feel her heartbeat coming down against yours; survey the damage, the mascara that survived an entire concert but couldn't make it past this, the hair that's been reset and tangled and still looks wonderfully her. The corset was left by the mirror. The shorts surrendered somewhere close by.
“Could you ever—” Tzuyu comes to life, first to speak, let you know that she's still with you in the land of the living. “Fuck me normally?”
You laugh. “What's that like?”
“Like, leave me with some dignity.” She shifts; the ooze of cum, the exaggerated pornographic audio that accompanies it as it seeps out around the seal of her perfect plump pussy-lips glued to your cock proves her point.
“Sounds boring.”
“It would leave us with a lot less explaining to do,” she says, and you're already on clean-up duty, thumb to her cheek, wiping away the stragglers there; piece-by-piece, reassembling this demolished dream of a girl.
“To who?”
Tzuyu gives you a look.
“I think we're well past that,” you say, rattling down your list; “Nayeon, definitely. Sana can't say shit after what she got up to in Paris.”
“I know, but—”
“Momo literally fist-bumped me in the hallway and said, See you in Valhalla, brother,” and that has Tzuyu snorting into your neck, adorable, winning, her; still all wet and shaking and in tears from how hard she came.
Another lazy squeeze of her walls around you, habitual milking at this point, and she sighs, repeating, “Valhalla, Christ.”
“Legitimately.”
And she tests her muscles around you again, intentionally this time, and you throb back, and you're steering the car back onto the road now, putting things back on the most obvious paths—”You're going to give me a reputation.”
“It'll look great alongside mine,” you muse, drag your palms up those thighs once more, thumbing the damage, the territory marked and yeah; the stylist, make-up artists, she's gonna get a real talking to. “We can compare notes.”
She adjusts, twists; obscene, and more of your load starts to run, messy, dripping down her folds and onto your lap, waiting to be fucked right back into her; it's an intersection of indecency—pretty, fucked-up, dangerous.
Tzuyu in a nutshell.
Noticing: “You're still hard.”
Noticing back: “You're still sitting on it.”
Rolling her hips once, experimental, having you both groaning, moaning in stereo. She reads your face and knows what's coming next.
“How long do you think before Jeongyeon comes knocking again?” And it's already published by the time you say it—posted, trending, bookmarked—out there to be read and thumbed through—she's giggling all girlish and cute, you're laughing dark and low; she's getting flipped onto her back, pressed into the couch cushions that once had bigger aspirations than this.
Those thighs—again; downright incredible things, run out of words to bless them, just holy fuck do they spread so nicely, automatically falling open, heels in the air, knees hooked high over your shoulders. Tzuyu, Tzuyu, Tzuyu—built to be handled exactly like this.
A look in her eyes, the adoration there, the only lovers left alive of it all, the I'll hold your hand and jump off the cliff with you if you'd just lead me, has you thinking all sorts of romantic shit: I love you, marry me, let's maybe finish up by doing something dumb to make this something permanent.
But the comments are in your head again, so:
“I'm going to die between those thighs.”
Tzuyu cocks an eyebrow, you're just reciting the obvious. “Good.”
“Yeah?”
“I'll sit on your face in the afterlife too.”
“Hell of a way to spend eternity,” and you're already moving, laughing, tongue wrestling her down but there's no need, she was, is, always has been; apparently forever will be even after you're bones and dust—yours.
Hand on her thigh, one last time for good measure, pressing your fingerprints into the give of it, stamping off on a job well fucked, and she has to say: “Baby, you are so, ridiculously—”
“Obsessed. Yeah, I know. It's a whole thing.”
infinity
ive x le sserafim x m!reader 26.5k words fanprose (thank you to @bunnsfw for the book cover & @xantithesis for beta reading!)
—————
You stopped fearing death the moment you understood it.
You imagined how it would end a number of ways: getting struck by a drunk driver or a hit and run by some rich asshole late one night, maybe they're one and the same. Or your liver giving up after one too many shots after work, and you'd be found lying on the sidewalk, drowning in a pool of your own piss. Maybe you'd just get hit by a stray brick landing on your head because life is unpredictable like that.
You'd given up on a quiet, peaceful rest in some hospital bed in your old age a long time ago. You just didn't think you'd go out like this: becoming ground zero for an asteroid.
It was the last thing your mind. It was the last thing on everyone's mind.
The announcement came suddenly about two weeks ago; all programming was interrupted to give way for the President's public address. 15-20 meters in diameter, he said. Somewhere in the Korean Peninsula is where it'll land, scientists claimed. Blast radius, tsunami heights—the rest was scientific jargon you gave zero fucks or had any knowledge about. Most, if not all of Asia will be scourged. Casualties in the hundreds of millions, if not outright billions. Changes in climate lasting centuries. Effects on the world at large: significant.
They said it like you were just a statistic and not a living breathing human being. This was the extinction-level event the wealthy elite dreamed of. This is what Roland Emmerich was creaming his pants making movies about.
You followed the first few hours with piqued interest. Watched men in lab coats explain science and computer models on TV like you were in fifth grade again. Then came the politicians who said nothing, the religious figures—both the earnest ones and the charlatans alike—calling for prayer, for repentance, for something, anything, as if God was waiting for a sufficient number of people to say sorry before deciding to take His chosen up to heaven or redirect a six hundred meter rock out of Earth's orbit.
Within 48 hours, the networks stopped bothering with experts. There was nothing left to explain, really; the maths were clear and concise. No amount of science can change the fact that a quarter of the world's population was gonna be vaporized, bare minimum, and a third of the earth was gonna be rendered uninhabitable. The only variable left was how those people would spend their final hours.
This isn't a world where superheroes fall from the sky and save people, nor is it one where Mars is one readily accessible Elon Musk spaceship away. This is real life: cold and cruel, but it’s the world you live in. Sometimes the powers that be hear your prayers, but more often than not, it doesn’t respond. And regardless of what happens, whether you live or die, life goes on. In the future, you'll just be an afterthought lost to time. People will remember the meteor, but not you.
There's no point in fighting. No point in living for tomorrow.
—————
You walk out into the streets of Seoul like it's just another Tuesday.
72 hours till the meteor hits. Less than. With each second, it approaches ever closer. Slowly. Surely. An inevitability.
The networks added a doomsday clock counting down the hours in real-time. Regular programming continues with the occasional meaningless update, but otherwise, life goes on like normal. At least as normal as it can possibly be during a situation like this.
If it weren't for a big rock shadowing high up in the clouds, you'd think there was some kind of political upheaval—a revolution. Except no; the government has all but given up. They're secure in some underground bunker somewhere, watching, saving their own asses, offering false pretenses to people that are left to their own devices. Most of them at least. They'll wake up to a world without their own blood, a culture mostly scorched by fire and ash, and they'll forget this nation ever existed.
To say that it's loud would be an understatement. Going to the subway station is akin to moving through war-torn trenches.
Smoke permeates through the streets, never fading and constantly unsavory smelling. Stores are either broken through or falling apart. Men in masks rob some poor guy's furniture store to take out a sofa from his shop and set it ablaze in the center. Society has ripped off the band-aid and torn up the social contract. Not to mention the relentless cries of religious men in the corners with their signs calling to repent. It makes the meteor seem like an afterthought.
"Repent!" The preacher yells out as you walk past him on the walkway. "The Kingdom of God is at hand! The Lord will judge the living and the dead!"
You wonder whether the meteor has given him permission to be like this, or he just hangs around here all the time. You can’t quite tell the difference.
Through all this, the subway remains operational. People still have places to go, somewhere to be, even if they are only the few sane ones left.
The train cars are mostly empty, so much so you can pick whichever seat you want and there would be no objections. A young couple hold each other's hands till their knuckles turn pale white. An elderly woman lugs around a suitcase staring blankly at the floor like she's trying to memorize its pattern. You wonder if you've seen these people before; you wonder if they imagined this is how their lives would end. The thought lingers for only a moment before you put your headphones on and listen to music as the tunnels blur past.
It's amazing, really, how death makes time feel more invaluable. When you're alive and free and have nothing to worry other than overdue bills and expenses, it's easy to forget how quickly it can pass you by, how seasons change, because it's always there. And when it's suddenly cut short, when life expectancy goes from 65 all the way down to 25—you begin to realize how much of it you're wasting away on things that ultimately don't matter.
For one, you haven't called your family in months. They're still texting every now and then, asking how's the experience in Korea, but you haven't responded to any of them other than an emoji here and there. Then there's your friends you've met online; gaming sessions that once took you into the break of dawn hardly last longer than an hour now. And your circle is slowly breaking apart too; relationships, parenthood, career opportunities, war—
Growing up is realizing how lonely it gets in the world. How you're only surviving, not living. They always tell you to work hard, but now it feels pointless. A big rock is about to undo your entire existence—and like 70% of the world's history and culture.
Still, you soldier on. Because this is the only thing you know, and there's comfort in familiarity.
The building looks the same as it always is: gray and dull and in dire need of renovation. The security guard's still there, barely looking up to watch you swipe your badge and nodding.
"Still coming in today?" he asks absentmindedly, returning to his phone, watching some K-drama on his screen. Behind him is a small TV tuned to the news, doomsday clock counting down the time: 71 hours, 54 minutes, 12 seconds. Eleven. Ten.
"Someone has to," you say, which isn't really an answer.
"I guess," he replies, flippantly, shrugging. As you're about to enter the building, he then continues. "My wife wants me to come home. Says we should be together. For the end, you know."
You nod; there's nothing else you can say or do. You hardly talked to this man, other than 'Good morning' and 'See you, take care.' Never asked about his personal life—never knew he even had a wife until now—and it's too late to start.
"So, will you be going home to her?"
"Probably. I don't know." He says it with a lackadaisical demeanor while watching the show, making you question why he randomly brought it up to begin with.
Nevertheless, you continue and walk to the elevator.
On the 17th floor, the office is almost deserted. A place housing 24 employees, there's only three today, you excluded. Your boss is at his desk by the window overlooking the Han River, answering phone calls like always. He catches you mid call, gestures with his hand, silently mouthing 'one minute' before finishing his conversation over the line and hanging up.
He then motions to the unoccupied chair in front of him. "Take a seat." So you oblige.
His laptop has the doomsday ticker too: 71 hours, 49 minutes, 28 seconds now. 27. 26. End of the world aside, your boss looks tired. Not the topical acceptance that everything is meaningless and ash and rubble, but more ‘I haven't slept in three days and been making calls that won't change anything’ tired. His tie is loose around the collar; his hair looks grayer than usual. Maybe you haven't been paying this much attention to him.
"You're here," he remarks straight to the point.
"You say it like it's surprising," is your reply, knowing you haven't missed a day since Christmas. Never took a sick leave or paid time off so far in the year. Stayed several overtimes per week too. One of his strongest soldiers, as they would say.
"It is." He then switches tabs on his laptop, now flashing his GMail. "You're one of four people who showed up today. I had 52 employees. Now it's just" —he gestures at the empty desks— "this."
You don't blame anyone; none of this is important in the face of a giant rock headed towards your humble first world country.
"Life goes on," you tell him, shrugging, nonchalant.
"Does it?" he asks, but neither of you really know the answer to that. Nobody does.
He taps his fingers on the keyboard. Mutters something beneath his breath. A prayer, perhaps, followed by a deep, heavy sigh. Adjusting his glasses, he faces you again: "Thank you," he adds, and it sounds genuinely sincere. "for being here. For showing up. I don't know. It's more than what most people are doing."
"It's—just a job," you answer, because there's really no reason for this to be theatrical or melodramatic. Not like he promised you an overdue promotion a year ago or anything.
"It's not. Not anymore," he insists, shaking his head. "But thank you anyway."
After a pause, a moment of awkward silence where your gaze just wanders around, you ask if you can head to your desk, and he lets you go.
There's still work to do. There's always work to do.
Your office is no larger than a closet, but it's yours. It's a lot bigger when the place feels more quiet than usual. Even tapping your feet seems to produce an echo off the thin walls. And speaking of, one half is plastered with sticky notes, of passwords you should have memorized, of memos and tasks you've completed ages ago. A graduation photo of you with your parents sits in the corner collecting dust, as well as a calendar on the other end you haven't bothered changing in two years.
Then there's the right side of your desk, your mini-shrine of sorts. It started out small and innocuous, like all other interests: a hit song that always played in the streets, a fancam that caught your eye during one of your breaks. Not long after, you fell down the rabbit hole. She was the it-girl of Korea; her face was inescapable no matter where you looked. Billboards, banners, posters—every brand she modeled for was like an endorsement from the heavens itself. Meanwhile her leader was a charismatic performer who had a fun side to her.
It grew beyond those two. It became twelve. You learned they were groupmates with another dynamic pairing: one whose cute face had a duality of being both sweet and lethal. The other was the steady presence and industry veteran who had her moments of quirkiness. These two pairs became the backbone of their own respective groups. But once upon a time, they were sisters-in-arms. Members who grew under their own leader, their mother figure.
Then came the rest: a pretty face who always tried her best even though she never wanted to be an idol. A ball of charm that can do anything and would light up the room with her energy. A dancer who pushed herself no matter how difficult it got. A gorgeous actress who knew this was her one and only group. A tiny pocket of sunshine who still kept close with the others every chance she got. A leader took a second chance in Korea when she could have thrived just as much in Japan. And finally, a soulful voice and actress whom the world cried for when she tragically met her demise and broke the hearts of millions.
Each of them became successful, no matter what path they took, but together, they were something magical. These days, they’re just a memory, kept in music, performances, fandom nostalgia, and on the photos plastered on your wall. They haven't released anything new in years. Quietly withdrew from the public eye once they reached 30, or in the case of some, 35. You hope they're fine, wherever they are. After all, the news did say select individuals were being evacuated outside of the President and high-ranking government officials. Culture and history has to be preserved, if that’ll even be a thing.
Death makes you think about a lot of things. Regret mostly. But there's one thing that will bother you the most: the fact that you never saw them together. Live. In-person. Everything else can come second place.
You can only sigh and touch one of the photos—one of their last shots taken as twelve—before turning to your computer and answering emails.
—————
Today's workload is heavier than yesterday's. Not surprising, given what should have been done by a team of around 52 is now being shared by just four people. No one complains, not even you; there's no use when this all is meaningless in two days, anyway.
You process invoices. Update spreadsheets. Spam follow-up emails to clients whose faces you never see and who will never read them. You answer phone calls from people with the exact same sound of surprise that someone actually picked up. 'Business as usual,' you'll say, even during the end of the world, then get to inquiring about orders that will never ship and deliveries that will never arrive.
Rinse and repeat. You've never been more aware of the time, but it truly flies when you're preoccupied with work.
During lunch, you watch a rerun of a film being aired on the TV in the break room. Armageddon because apparently SBS has a dark sense of humor. You're biting down on some dry bread on a tuna sandwich, shaking your head remembering that one bit of Ben Affleck commentary about how it's easier for oil-drillers to become astronauts than to teach astronauts how to drill. That and the movie itself is so bad it's a guilty pleasure.
Here's the situation now: around 60 or so hours before the meteor hits. You're watching a movie about this exact situation play out, except death is instantaneous, there will be less explosions than what's on screen, and Bruce Willis isn’t going to save you.
It's absurd. Life is fucking absurd.
—————
The rest of your shift goes by unceremoniously. Your boss leaves at four, shakes your hand and tells you to take care with a sound that's more resigned to the inevitable than actual reassurances. The other employees begin filing out too, quietly taking their belongings before exiting.
Now you’re left alone again. You can't help but sigh.
Not the one that screams ‘fuck, the world is really ending’ and more akin to your body crying out in anguish after another day at work. The kind where you just want to lie down once you get home, stare at the ceiling, and think about where it all wrong. Probably the moment you wanted to go to Korea; you've come to this conclusion a long time ago.
And maybe that's the real absurdity: the world is ending and you're sighing like it's another Tuesday and you’re caught up during rush hour.
People are out in the streets, doing whatever the fuck they want because nothing will matter soon. Meanwhile you're still here behind these four walls, trying to cling to the last traces of normality because you don't know what life feels like without having to follow a pattern. In your eyes, life is about structure and control, not chaos and spontaneity. A meteor heading for earth is the complete opposite of that worldview.
Before leaving, you take one more glance at your makeshift shrine. Your collection of photocards pinned to the wall from different eras and groups. Your gaze snags on that one picture of them as twelve, and you look at them with a longing that feels too personal. Like they're within reach.
I hope you're okay. Wherever you are, you’re praying mentally. It's hard to find faith when everything around you is collapsing.
You grab your bag, and for whatever reason, you remove the photo from the wall, pocket it in your coat, and head off. Outside, the entrance is desolate; the guard's phone is plugged into the charger, but he's nowhere to be found. You shrug as you walk into the streets, putting on your headphones; it’s your only shield from the violence, noise, and anarchy of it all.
In the distance, the sun begins to set. It might be your last.
The train stops somewhere between Hongdae and Sinchon. Not gently, not a gradual slowing when the operator's being cautious, but rather a sudden lurch, one that almost makes the standing passengers tilt forward and crash onto the floor.
Delays, when they happen, come few and far between. Usually a door that won't close, a person on the track, sometimes construction or renovation of railroads. These days, however, the conductor says the same thing:
"Attention passengers. Due to civil unrest and blockages on the tracks ahead, this train will proceed no further. All passengers are advised to exit the station and seek alternative transportation. Thank you and we apologize for the inconvenience."
Civil unrest sounds like an understatement for what's basically Korea's adaptation of The Purge. You've had stones and other random objects chucked on the train windows before. You've seen rioters overpower walls of riot shields and toppling police cars. It's only by divine intervention, you conclude, that you haven't been touched by any one of these maniacs.
Still, no one complains. People simply grab their belongings and keep moving.
Getting off the platform is its own chaos. The boring kind. Loud and all over the place, but no bodies are being thrown around, and no one is in serious danger. A reminder that you're not alone in this, that even on the cusp of death, life goes on as normal.
Outside the station is a big glaring reminder that some men just want to watch the world burn. Across the street, a convenience store has its windows shattered, groups of thieves running off with whatever food and other supplies they can carry, a fire hydrant with its covers exposed and water endlessly bursting, a car that's upside down and set ablaze because why the fuck not, and the garage wall of some building with the words B.B.S spray painted in what might as well be someone’s blood. Sirens are blasting loudly; you can't tell whether that's police or an ambulance.
You step over a broken umbrella and head the other way.
Your apartment is only 20 minutes from here, maybe less if you take the back alleys. You could walk home in time to catch the evening news. Maybe call up your parents and finally answer back when it's too late. There's also that bottle of wine you've been saving for a special occasion, and there's no better time to open it than now.
Instead, you stride over to the taxi stand, right as an elderly couple climbs into the cab while the cabbie packs their luggage inside the boot. Queuing is nonexistent and the turnaround is quick; the next car pulls up as soon as the last one drives off.
You've got nothing but a sling bag with you. Stepping into the backseat, you give the driver an address you haven't said out loud in years:
"HYBE building, Yongsan district."
Over the rearview mirror, the man's eyes furrow behind his glasses. His hair is thin and gray. His lips quirk; it's the look of a man who's seen some shit. Definitely in his sixties.
"Are you sure? It's a long way from here. Traffic's bad. Everything is."
"I'm sure," you insist, looking out the window in time to see two masked men beating on some random guy just inches away from your cab. You should feel something—empathy, maybe—but instead, you lean back in your seat and yawn.
The driver shrugs. It's a gesture you're starting to recognize as the universal response to the end of the world. The car revs and pulls away from the curb.
En route to the destination, the streets are clogged with abandoned cars, people walking in the middle of the road, makeshift barricades, overturned trash cans, and piles of burning debris. Probably ran over plenty of dead things, too. Nevertheless, the driver maneuvers around them all with the efficiency and calmness of someone who has been through some shit, worthy of every 5-star review on Über while cursing beneath his breath every time someone jumps in front of the car.
On the right side of the road, a church can be seen with its lights on. A congregation of people assemble as far as outside the entrance doors, singing a worship hymn, their voices raised to the heavens above. They're singing something about being lost and then found. You can hear their collective praise even through the music playing in the car.
"Crazy times," the driver remarks, not directly to you, but to this: the chaos in the streets, the situation above, the world you're currently living in. "I've been driving this road for 15 years. Never seen anything like it."
"Me neither," you say, looking out the window, past the church and seeing a fresh thick layer of smoke rising in the distance.
"Where are you from?" he then asks. "Originally, I mean."
You pause. Your eyes widen. Then you answer, "Seoul. Moved from Europe around three years ago. Been on a work visa."
"Ah," the driver nods, looking at you through the rearview mirror. "I was born and raised here. I bet your parents must be proud that you work here in Korea, then."
"I don't know about proud," you answer, shaking your head, chuckling, but there's a tinge of underlying bitterness in your tone. "They did help me get here, so I can't really say much."
"Right, right." He nods again, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel as the car stops at a red light. "You know my whole family's here. My wife, my two kids, my mother—she's 83, can you believe it? 83 years old, and this is how she's gonna go. Not in her sleep, not in a hospital. A big fucking rock from space."
He says it like he's still trying to make sense of the fact. Like if he repeats it enough times the absurdity will wear off and something else will take its place. Acceptance or peace, maybe. You're not sure whether those things exist anymore.
"Yeah, well" —you mutter, scratching the back of your ear, stifling a laugh because you can't really comprehend it either— "I didn't think I'd go out like this too. None of us did. But it really do be like that, sometimes."
"What it be?" he snorts, sarcastic, a bit peeved (an understatement). "That we're left to die on our own while our leaders are tucked away safe and sound?"
The mood inside the car changes instantly. The driver goes quiet as he weaves around an abandoned delivery truck occupying two lanes. Then he continues talking. "Those people—the ones who ran—they're the real cowards. The politicians, the CEOs, the celebrities with their private jets and personal escorts. They're no better than us; only richer."
The photo in your coat feels a little heavier now.
"BTS left, you know that?" he continues, charged with an anger that's genuine, the kind that's been building for days: "They were on the list. Special transport, same as the president's cabinet. Within 48 hours of the announcement. Packed-up and gone. Jimin, Jungkook, all of them. Cowards."
"They're just people," you say, casual, understanding but seeing the world for what it is. "like everyone else."
"Famous people," he corrects. "They could have stayed. Could have—I don't know—said something." He shakes his head, clearly fuming at the idea. "But no. They're on a plane to go wait it out with the rest of the wealthy elite and would rather watch us all die. Meanwhile Son Heung-min—you know who Son is, right?"
Of course you do. Can't talk about football in this country without his name being among the first mentioned, if not outright. Even more than Mbappe or Lamal, hell, even Messi or Ronaldo.
"He was offered a spot. You know what he said? He said no. Said he'd rather die with his people." The driver's voice cracks slightly before returning to normal. "Now that's a man. That's someone who understands what it means to be a Korean."
And to be honest, you don't know how to react. You've accepted this for a long time, even without all the nutjob conspiracy theorists spazzing about it: the government and wealthy elite have a place of their own. Now they can rule the world without the guilt of having blood spilled by their own hands thanks to nature's call.
"So HYBE," he then says, while you're deep in thought. "Why there? You a fan of someone? My daughter's a big ILLIT fan."
You don’t answer; you don't know why exactly, either. There's a couple of groups you liked, and maybe you wanted to give them one final visit, maybe get some signatures that won't mean anything soon. That's if they're still even there, if the place is still functional. Given that company and BTS, with their connections to the government, it wouldn't surprise you if all their artists made it on the list for safe passage. But seeing as the lights are still on as the building is in sight—
"I don't know," is your eventual response. Even if you actually knew the reason, you would have said this anyway. "I just felt like going. Wanting to visit places before I go. I mean—we go."
The driver shrugs again. Doesn't press on any further. "Fair enough."
The cab pulls up to the front entrance of HYBE headquarters. Taller than you previously saw it, or maybe it's just reality warping itself the closer you get to the end. As expected, the front is empty and desolate; no security guards keeping watch, but the lights are on as night begins to fall. Peeking from outside, there's hardly any activity going on inside either. It's a miracle the rioters haven't burned this place to the ground yet.
"That'll be 22,000₩," the driver remarks, putting the car in park and looking over his shoulder. "On the house, though. Consider it a going away present."
You pay the fare anyway. Add in a few thousand more as a tip, because Lord knows he's gonna need it should he miraculously live past tomorrow.
Climbing out of the car, the streets here are calmer, peaceful. The air is cooler, less smog and fire. Most of the nearby stores are closed, and in the distance, the Namsan Tower still broadcasts its light show to an audience that's mostly stopped watching.
"You need me to wait?" the driver suddenly asks, drawing your attention. "Might be hard to find another cab out here."
A second scan beyond the glass doors shows you nothing. What once was a living hub for one of the biggest music labels now feels like a desolate paradise. The lights are on but nobody's home.
"No," you tell him. "Think I'll be here for a while."
He doesn't say another word. He quietly drives off, the screech of tires and hum of an engine echoing in your ears being the last thing you hear before the car disappears around the corner and you're left on your own again.
Stepping past the front doors, the entrance is completely unguarded. No security guards either, no sudden ambush out of nowhere. Cameras are everywhere—if they're still even functioning—but this place has seen stranger things walk through its walls.
The lobby is no better, completely silent and spotless, like the building is holding its breath. No receptionist waits at the front desk; not a soul roaming the halls. Every step you take echoes, bounces off the walls like roaring thunder. If it weren't for an impeding rock, you'd think the rapture already happened and everyone was taken up. A large screen on the far wall plays a loop of music videos and performances from their artist roster; Le sserafim is currently on screen. All five, present and accounted for. It's a reminder of good old days, a time period that you now take for granted.
For the first time in forever, you can't help but smile.
But watching them has you thinking, until curiosity gets the better of you. It's what led you here to begin with. Might as well capitalize on the opportunity.
So you help yourself to one of the many unused ID cards behind the front desk and step into an elevator.
Your first instinct is to go to the 12th floor. The dance studio looked so familiar you could sketch it out with your thoughts, the same room where they perfected their craft and shared laughs, tears, and everything in between. It used to be solely theirs, but you've seen your fair share of labelmates and even their juniors take up shop every now and then. Maybe this is the delusion talking, or simply nostalgia. Whatever it is, it's leading to doing things you've never thought about doing until now.
Maybe this is just coping with the fact you're dying soon, and you've got a laundry list of things you want to do, but never found the time or opportunity to. After all, you lost your spirit and youth a long time ago and never really found it again. Part of it, you believe, is hiding in here somewhere.
But as you tread carefully upon the halls, you hear something faint. Music. Thumping. Beating, like a heart that keeps going after everything. You take note of this. Close your eyes and feel it through your ears, tracing its source. It's leading you to a narrow corridor, the bass growing louder and louder, until it retreats behind a door with a sheet of paper that simply says FIMMIES written in all capitals.
The paper looks like it's seen everything too. Clearly worn around the edges, the ink looks faded. Behind the door, the music thumps past the walls and echoes. For a moment, you wonder what could have been: standing in the crowd, cheering, waving your lightstick, singing their songs out and repeating the fanchants—
That's never gonna happen now. Only in your wildest of dreams.
But the music keeps going. Perfect Night plays in the background, and as you reach for the knob, you hesitate. Probably staff or a janitor cleaning whatever's left. Doesn't matter; the world is fucking ending. You've come this far to turn back now.
So you slowly open the door. The echo of its creak goes unnoticed. You peek your head and your eyes widen in complete shock.
They're here. In casual clothes, still practicing, still giving it a hundred percent. But it doesn't feel the same as it was. You see it in the mirrors, the way their smiles look hollow and forced, the way Eunchae is a step behind the others. Even with an audience composed of just themselves, they're trying, because they know they won't ever perform to a crowd ever again.
Yunjin breaks formation and pauses the song on the phone. She looks at her members with a soft, bittersweet smile. "Alright. We did great. Ten minutes."
Eunchae immediately falls to the ground playfully before sitting down. Kazuha reaches for her water bottle, drinking while stretching her leg like the graceful ballerina she is, posture perfect. There's hardly any makeup on their faces, if at all; just their natural, raw selves. It's not that far off from what you've seen of them on screen.
Then Yunjin's gaze finds you and snags. You're still a stranger wandering around a building you have no business being in. But there's no fear behind her eyes; only a look of surprise and confusion.
"Hi," she says simply. The others turn around to face you as well. "Are you lost?"
Gulp your throat. Open your mouth, but nothing comes out. You cling to the door like a harness, tighter when the members approach you. They don't look scared at all. You expect them to call security, seize you and hold you hostage until they arrive. Kazuha especially; she looks like she can straight up beat the shit out of you.
None of that. They maintain a careful distance, even as you remain silent. Yunjin gestures with her hands. "Go on. We won't hurt you."
For a moment, you continue to stay quiet. Eventually, you manage to speak: "No, no. I'm in the right place." Your eyes wander around the room, at the lights, at the mirrors, at your reflection, "Front door was open, so—"
You flash the ID card that you took as proof. Kazuha tilts her head, assessing you and the item. She's wearing a simple grey top and some joggers, her hair tied in a ponytail. Seeing her up close, you can see how toned her arms are. That she can, in fact, beat the living shit out of you.
Eunchae laughs. It's a small sound, almost involuntary, like a hiccup. "Security's been gone for days. We're surprised the power's still on."
She says it like it's an everyday occurence. That people have come and gone here like it's part of their pilgrimage.
Your head is sticking out a bit wider now. Your grip on the door has loosened, but you're unsure whether you're allowed to step foot inside or not. The practice room is larger than what you've been allowed to see. Going from one point to the opposite side is about as long as an Olympic swimming pool.
"Well come on in," Yunjin says. "We were just about to have dinner."
The next ten minutes or so is a quick round of catch-up. Seated in a small circle inside the practice room like friends reconnecting.
You bring them up to speed on how you got here. The details remain mostly the same (still the same day, after all) but you keep the intimate parts unspoken. You say you're a fan (like everyone else, but genuinely), that you felt like visiting because the world is ending, as you do during such a time. That seeing them live was on your list, but that's never happening anytime soon.
You don't ask much about themselves; you've known their careers, their story, their legacy. Instead, you ask them why. Why are they here. Why are they spending their last days practicing together instead of being home with their families, maybe even finding a way to get to safety.
"We were supposed to go," Yunjin says. "Bang promised us safe passage. Not just us, as in" —she gestures to her members— "but all of HYBE. Said we were like family to him, and that we'd be taken care of."
"But—"
"He didn't," Kazuha sharply cuts in. She sounds flat and dour, like she's stopped fighting and has conceded to her fate. "He took himself and his family and BTS. That's it. The rest of us, we found out the day after. No warning, no explanation. Just—"
She shrugs. Her eyes glaze down to the floor. "Gone. Without a care."
Eunchae, who's been listening and quiet the entire time, adds: "We could have fought it. Gone to the media, made a scene. But what's the point? There's not enough room for everyone. Someone was always going to be left behind."
Your mind recalls what the cab driver said. That the wealthy elite will do anything to save themselves, even if it means throwing trusted confidants under the bus. Nothing new there, but it's nice to have some confirmation. At the end of the day, it's about survival. Nothing personal.
"Then that means," you then say. "the other groups—"
"Not part of that list," Yunjin finishes your sentence. "They all left to be with their families or together. We're the only ones still here, I think."
"In fact, this was supposed to be our last day together," Eunchae chimes in. "We just wanted to practice one more time before we parted ways for good to remember the good times."
"Yeah," Kazuha affirms. "Yunjin's supposed to be flying back to New York tomorrow morning. I'm going back to Amsterdam. And Eunchae's—"
"Gonna have a sleepover with Kyujin and Leeseo," Eunchae completes her member's sentence. She's smiling from ear to ear. You almost forget she's still relatively young compared to the rest.
If there's anything you'll give the end of the world for, it's bringing people together and reconciling. You can't imagine how it feels for these girls, having spent most of their youth and adulthood training, performing, bearing the brunt of needlessly cruel online hate without their loved ones close to them. They'd be lucky if their tours happen to have a stop close to home. But like all other things, none of that matters when everything is destroyed by fire and ash.
"What about you?" Yunjin then asks, turning the question back. "What are you doing?"
To be quite honest, you're not sure. You've resigned yourself to an unceremonious death a long time ago: all alone, no regrets. Mostly. You're not going home to your parents. You sure as hell aren’t hanging out with any of your co-workers, especially your boss. And you definitely aren't gonna make it to those underground bunkers either.
"I don't know.” You've got your hands in the pocket of your pants, unable to face them. "Probably drink. A lot. I've got a bottle of champagne at my place that I haven't opened, and now seems like the perfect time to whip it out."
No one says a word. They simply nod with an understanding that says yes, that's your life, and we're not gonna stop you.
As your hand touches the pocket of your coat, you remember something. When you watched their performances on the large screen downstairs, something felt off, and this was exactly why. The reason you actually came here. Somehow, it never crossed your mind until now. You fish the photocard out of your pocket and show it to them. They lean forward, squinting their eyes at the photo. All three women have a visceral reaction upon recognizing the faces on it.
Yunjin gasps. "Wait. This is—"
"Yeah." You're nodding. "I remember now. Why I came here. Because of them. Because of you."
"But—Chaewon and Kkura" —Eunchae interjects— "they're—"
"They're not that far."
There's this newfound conviction propelling you. Maybe it's because of the people in your photo giving you the drive. Maybe it's just the late kick of adrenaline knowing your time is near, and you're not ready to fall just yet.
"I'm a Fearnot, that's true," you continue. "But I loved them first. I learned to accept you because of them. And even when you're apart, no matter how far, you're still family. That's what they taught me."
The three girls exchange looks. They're really thinking this through. Hope—maybe. Insanity—definitely.
"Yeah, but" —Kazuha says now— "We don't know—this sounds crazy. Maybe they just want to be—"
"But they also want to see us too. I'm sure of it."
Eunchae shoots you a confused wide eyed stare, her head tilted and arms folded. "Where do we start though?"
You glance at her and remember what she said. Sleepover. The idea immediately bubbles to the surface.
"Starship," you blurt out before you even think about saying it.
"What?"
"Starship. We should go to the Starship building. Maybe they're still there, having something similar to this. A swan song, if you will." You're smiling as you suggest the notion, because not even the end of the world can keep you from making stupid jokes.
It doesn't register at first. Not immediately. But with Eunchae, the implication clicks not long after:
"Leeseo. You're right.”
"Good idea," Kazuha adds. "I should say goodbye to Rei before I leave Korea. Maybe she'll leave too."
"Alright. Looks like everyone's decided," Yunjin says, having taken up de-facto leadership on behalf of the group. "We're going to the Starship building."
But right when you're about to head off—Kazuha's putting on her jacket, Yunjin unplugging her phone—you also remember you came here on a cab. And the driver that took you is long gone.
"Wait," you suddenly tell them as you're approaching the door. "I don't have a car."
"No worries," Yunjin immediately answers. "I can drive. Took the girls here too. We'll take my car. Surely the streets aren't this bad tonight."
Leaving the HYBE building is a quick, mechanical affair. Turns out people still look after the place; you find a janitor sweeping the floors as you make your way back to the elevator. Looking out the window it's clearly nighttime, with an hour having passed since you came in. Yunjin says they haven't seen a receptionist in three days, nor have they seen any security guard either. When you ask how they can defend themselves, they tap tiny pepper spray canisters latched to their pockets and joke about hiding behind Kazuha when push comes to shove. She scoffs at it, obviously, but the jabs are light and playful. As you reach the basement parking lot, they tell you that Yongsan was one of the more secure places when the riots and chaos happened after the initial announcement, which is why the building was left mostly untouched.
Emphasis on mostly because there's those three letters again etched with spray paint on the side of some abandoned Mercedes. B.B.S. Some kind of doomsday cult, you assume.
You walk past it and to something more conventional, a Hyundai crossover. Yunjin says she borrowed it from her grandmother, that she didn't expect her demise to be from a giant rock too. You take the backseat behind the driver, Kazuha in the passenger side, Eunchae right beside you, and Yunjin in the driver's seat herself.
"Parking's free for employees," she remarks as the engine roars to life. "But I doubt that matters. They smashed up the boom barrier."
That activates the neuron in your brain. It's reflecting on the smirk in the rearview mirror.
"Don't tell me you joined the riots too—"
"Nope. Of course not." You're shaking your head, eyes shut, trying so hard to stifle your laugh as the car sets off. Parking is expensive at your workplace, which prompted that reaction. It's good old-fashioned karma.
—————
Turns out Yunjin was right: the streets are pretty calm in Yongsan.
Traffic is nonexistent. Hardly any sign of rampage or destruction. For the most part, the chaos was well-contained. You can chalk it up to Chairman Bang and his connections to the government, though, given the number of destroyed riot shields and batons sprawled all over the sidewalks and roads. You see it as one more act of defiance before they knew it was a losing battle and instead of surrendering, they chose to flee.
Can't blame him. If you were the head of a multi-billion dollar enterprise and in charge of the biggest boy group ever, you'd do the same.
But back to the here and now: Yunjin navigates the streets like a veteran, like she's traveled this road over and over. You're accustomed to seeing idols in the passenger seats, being escorted between schedules that driving should be the last thing on their mind. Sometimes you forget they can drive cars too, some even getting behind the wheel of supercars like any other A-lister.
"So," you start, breaking the silence inside the vehicle. No music, unlike in the practice room, and both Kazuha and Eunchae are staring out their sides of the window, deep in thought, tired to engage in conversation. "How'd you learn how to drive?"
You see it in the rearview mirror, the way her eyes suddenly glint, how she swallows her throat. The way she suddenly struggles to focus on the road. Yet she carries on.
"I learned because of Chaewon," she says, as the car blurs past an orange light turning red. "She would drive us during our days-off. She said she liked being in control. Said it made her feel safe."
Mid-conversation, you feel a tug on your hand. Eunchae's placing hers atop yours. You allow it.
"I promised myself I'd learn how to drive," Yunjin continues, her eyes now twinkling with unshed tears. "I wanted to drive her around too, so I could take care of her the same way she did for us. But when I finally got my license, it was too late."
The city blurs past. It looks different now in the dark. Streetlamps blend in with the fires burning in the distance, while smoke camouflages perfectly in the night. A few cars here, some people on the sidewalk there, a handful of stores still open, the dying breaths of a city soon to be erased off the map. A woman walks her dog. A homeless man sits on a stoop, smoking. A couple kissing against a wall, bodies pressed together like they're trying to become one before the end.
"Chaewon would have fought to be here," she adds. She's openly crying now, tears falling down her face. "She would have—"
Yunjin stops. Swallows. You see her knuckles tighten on the steering wheel, turning pale white. Ultimately, she shakes her head and sighs.
"Sakura too. They would have stayed. They would have never left us behind."
You've seen how they cared for each other through thick and thin, in documentaries and in behind the scenes content. You see it in the faces of the girls too: Kazuha's stoic demeanor cracking slightly in the window's reflection, her lips quivering a tad. The way Eunchae holds your hand a little bit tighter. So you remain silent and quietly nod, because there's nothing left to say.
As the road ahead unspools, the drive has shifted into something tensely still. Yunjin's focused on navigating a place she isn't quite familiar with, and the others are too exhausted to speak. Here in Gangnam, the carnage is just as contained as in the Yongsan District, but the atmosphere is no less somber and melancholic. The clubs are closed. There's hardly any people out in the streets. No cause for celebration, no drinking and being merry for the end, not even for the most cynical or nihilistic.
Something catches your eye in the rearview mirror: not from outside, but a reflection that doesn't belong. There's two of you in the backseat—you and Eunchae—but the faces aren't either of yours. They're just the lower halves; no eyes, no noses, just features without an upper half to connect them. But they're so deeply ingrained into your head, you know who they belong to.
Those plump, pouty lips. The bob cut. The hint of pointy ears. The traces of pink hair. They can't be any more obvious.
Your heart catches. You blink, wipe your eyes, and the next second, they're gone. It's only you, your tired face staring back in the mirror again.
Eunchae notices. "You okay?" she asks. Her eyes widen with a concern that's almost childlike. For a second, you almost forget she's been there the entire time. That sometimes, she'd be the splitting image of her leader.
"I'm fine," you say, brushing it off. Exhaustion, most likely. Your brain playing tricks, filling in the gaps you want to see, or don't want to see, you're not sure which, when in reality, you don't want to sound crazy claiming you're seeing ghosts. "Just tired."
She doesn't push on any further. Hardly matters when Yunjin announces that they've reached their destination.
It's still the same Starship building everyone jokes about. The one that resembles a jail cell more than a company headquarters. Despite the long overdue need to move or renovate, this is still their place. At least the paint still smells fresh, but the bar is in hell; that's the only thing they've bothered touching in the last 15 years.
Surprisingly, the entrance has a security guard standing by. He stops all four of you. Asks for names.
"Le sserafim," Yunjin answers on your behalf. "We're here to see IVE. Are they in?"
He studies her for a moment. Then turns to you, Kazuha, and Eunchae. You expect him to ask who you are (you'll lie, say you're just their manager), demand identification, and do his job the way he was trained to. Instead, after a quick, almost lackadaisical scan, he speaks over his radio. Asks if they're inside, and a brief confirmation later, he lets your group through.
"Sixth floor," he says. "They've been there all day."
Stepping inside, the difference between both companies is night and day. The lobby is teeming with life, with faces and names you've vaguely heard about, all probably spending their final day together before parting ways. Jiyu spots you while getting a drink from a vending machine and bows to you and the Fims, who reciprocate the gesture as industry seniors. Same goes for the others you happen to run into: Allen, Minhee, Hyungwon, and Joohoney. You spend five minutes bowing to each idol, letting the girls catch-up with their fellow peers. They all say the same thing: they're here because the CEO wanted all the artists to come in today so they could properly say goodbye.
But just as you're about to reach the elevator, you hear someone calling from the lounge. Everyone turns around, and Yeonjung rises from a couch to greet the girls. They bow, exchange hugs, and she offers a formal handshake, which you accept. The formalities haven't finished completely when Dayoung comes in out of nowhere to say hello as well.
"Glad to see you're together," Dayoung says to Yunjin specifically, her beam still wide, her energy infectious even during these tumultuous times. "Same as the rest of us."
"Of course," she then replies, her smile small but sincere. "It's what—"
"I know, I know," Dayoung interjects. "It's what they would have wanted too. They would have come rushing down from the practice room if they found out you visited us."
Your hand involuntarily reaches for the photo in your coat. You don't show it, but even through the eyes of people you barely know, their presence is palpable. It makes your heart soar just hearing how loved they are.
"They should be on the sixth floor," Yeonjung chimes in with her sweet, maternal smile. Her stare lingers at you a moment longer than necessary as you finally reach the elevator. "Good luck."
Emerging onto the hallway is a refresher in deja vu. Quiet, hushed, silent. Not surprising; most of their artists are in the lobby. No music plays unlike in the HYBE building. But it's there: the group's designated practice room. The sign taped to the door is freshly written with a clear message: Do Not Disturb in Hangul. Yunjin ignores it and knocks twice. Someone echoes from inside, and she answers them back.
"It's us. We're coming in."
Yunjin pushes the door open.
Inside, four girls are huddled together on the opposite end of the room. Rei spots you and rushes toward Kazuha for a warm bear hug. Likewise, Eunchae and Leeseo meet halfway, walking to each other, exchanging hugs and kisses as well. Yunjin and Liz bow to one another before the junior idol embraces Yunjin too, sobbing on her shirt.
Meanwhile, Gaeul steadily approaches you. Offers a handshake. You exchange bows.
"We were expecting you," she remarks. Her hair's short again, the one signature cut resembling a bob; it was long two weeks ago, right before the announcement that shook the entire world. "Didn't expect their manager to be—young."
You gulp your throat. She gives you a look that's saying I'm onto you. I'm smarter than you think. You can only smile, keep up the facade, if there even is any.
"Relax. I'm not gonna turn you in," she adds, as if reading your mind. "None of us are."
Both of you look around and see your respective members falling apart. More than peers, they're also close friends. Bonded by adversity, heartbreak, and triumph, they've seen it all in the industry and came out of the fire unscathed. More than that, it's what their leaders, their veterans, with their wisdom and experience that helped them get this far and thrive.
Seeing them in one room makes you proud. Even though you're a nobody, something about seeing these girls together feels right. Like its destiny.
Eventually, the tears run dry. Yunjin goes to Gaeul, as leaders and the eldest of their respective groups. They hug too.
"They would have wanted this," Yunjin whispers against her ear. She's done her crying in the car and has been the emotional rock for the Fims. "They would be so happy we're here. It's just—"
"It's not the same, I know." Gaeul, the perceptive woman she is, captures what everyone's feeling with one simple sentence. "But we're here now. That's what matters."
In the midst of all the reconciliations, they forget that you exist.
When all the formalities are done, Rei, Liz, and Leeseo all come to you, apologetically bowing and shaking your hand.
"Sorry," Rei says, cheekily smiling, "Didn't realize they still had—"
"I'm not actually their manager," you casually admit, because there's no point in hiding anymore. It's the end of the world, for God's sake.
"Knew it," Gaeul mutters, to herself mostly. "I mean, we don't really have managers anymore. We said our goodbyes to them the other day."
"But it was his idea to bring us here," Eunchae blurts out, and all of a sudden, you're thrust into the center of their attention.
"That's cute," Leeseo remarks sweetly. "Honestly, it feels like a high school reunion, except" —her tone shifts to something somber— "it's a little bittersweet."
You know what she's alluding to. What all the girls have been repeating over and over for the past hour and more. Beat it over your skull at this point and have it ingrained in hot ink at this point.
"They would have wanted this," you repeat, echoing the same drawn out sentiment because there's really no other way to put it.
"So why, then," Liz suddenly speaks. "Why do all this? Why bring us together?"
You give the Fims a glance. Kazuha nods once. So does Yunjin. And then Eunchae. Sighing, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, then show them the photocard. Let the IVE girls see the reason and understand.
"I know I'm not anyone special," you say. "You guys sing, dance, write, make art. You make millions smile on stage and in front of the cameras. I push paper and answer emails and go home to watch your fancams. Rinse and repeat. But when the announcement came, when I knew the world was ending" —you pause, let go of a deep breath— "I thought about you. Not my family, not my future. You."
The room holds its breath. No one speaks. You can hear a pin drop in this stillness. Their heartbeats, even. It's the kind of calm that usually precedes an incoming storm, which feels apt given the immense gravity of the situation that brought you all together.
"I was ready to die, to be honest," you continue. "Already accepted my fate the moment it was announced. But earlier today, I took one last look at my office, saw this picture" —you hold it up for all to see— "and something changed. Maybe I'm not ready to go just yet. Maybe there's still one more thing I have to do. And that's this."
You flip the photo around, staring at the faces that paved the way. Your lips crack, and your expression shifts to something resembling yearning and regret. "I never saw them when they were together. Never saw you guys in the same room or take a photo either. And God, I know you're all friends, it's just—"
You pause. Shake your head. Sniffle. Shed a tear, maybe two. Find your way back. Continue.
"So here we are. I just wanted to see you guys together, even if it's for only an hour. Even if it ultimately doesn't mean anything tomorrow. Maybe I'm just wasting your time, but" —you wipe a stray tear from your eye— "thank you for everything."
They let your words sink in a few moments longer. Then Yunjin is the first to respond:
"You didn't waste our time," she says. She's looking at every person in the room, then you. "We wanted this, too. It's just—we were so caught up in our feelings to remember."
Gaeul nods in agreement. "We've been so focused on ourselves. On the what ifs, the could haves, the should haves. We were so lost on what to do, we forgot who and why we're doing this for."
Eunchae's eyes are twinkling. "We still mean something to people. Even after everything."
"But at least we're here now," Rei concludes. "Because of you. So we should be the ones thanking you."
And again, Kazuha repeats the same mantra, the universal belief that kept you all going: "They would have wanted this. Really."
For a moment, the air in the room shifts to something lighter. For once, there are smiles on faces. Even in this bleak and helpless situation, there's the one thing you cling to no matter how far gone you are: hope.
"So what now?" Leeseo then interjects. And frankly, you're amazed you've made it here without planning a single step. No one has a clue either. Two days might seem like plenty of time, but in the grand scheme of the world ending, it’s as precious as diamond, and it's quickly running out. Impulse can only take you so far.
"I live in Jeju," Liz suddenly remarks, clearing her throat. She'd been the most reserved one in the room, not having spoken even once up until this point. And even when she speaks, it’s low, naturally hushed, kept primarily for herself. "We could go there and watch the end of the world together. I can say goodbye to my family along the way."
Surprisingly, despite your four years in Korea, you've never visited once. Your work basically kept you prisoner in office, and your days off were spent at home overcompensating for your lack of sleep. It's a good idea; riding off to the literal and metaphorical sunset on this planet by the ocean. The scientists did say it was expected to land somewhere in the Korean peninsula, so your end is gonna be swift and painless. Imagine that: a body swallowed up by the sea. No better way to go out.
But then there's the others, as Yunjin points out: "Well, I'm supposed to fly out to New York tomorrow." You can see it in her eyes, the frown on her lips. The conflict, the way her heart wants to be there, but also remembering the family she has at home, the possibility of never seeing them one last time after being away for so long.
"I'm on one of the last flights to Japan, then Amsterdam," Kazuha says regretfully. "I would love to go, but—"
"And I have family in Nagoya," Rei adds. "This was really supposed to be our last day together."
Hearing them talk about their families back at home has you reminiscing about your own too. You're here because of them, but not in a loving way. It had been a rough falling out, but they never stopped reaching out. The messages eventually became few and far between, but they always looked out for you. Even as simple as 'Hope you're okay' and going out of their way to send extra money when you've covered all your needs, they still loved you til the end. Their last update was about the meteor, obviously, but they kept wondering how you feel and whether or not you'd go home, knowing their last physical image of you was swearing you'd never come back—and you'll more than hold up that promise now.
"That's fine," you say, slightly nodding. You're already conceding in your mind that you'll die alone. This dream was simply that: a dream. It was never a guarantee. "I mean, I'd more than love to go, but I just wanted to see you guys at least once—"
"I'm going," Gaeul interjects. "Already said goodbyes to my family yesterday. I want to be with Jiwonnie. Make sure she's there with someone she loves."
Liz's eyes sparkle and her smile brightens. For a second, you see a glimpse of the old Liz, the performer she is on stage.
Leeseo is resolute. "I'll go too. Eunchae, you're coming right?"
Facing her, Eunchae's eyes widen in shock, completely taken by surprise. "Woah, woah. I haven't gone home yet. Also, what about our sleepover with Kyujin—"
"She can come if you want. I'll let her know about this."
Eunchae can't help but laugh. "Alright, fine. You win, I guess. I'll be there too."
Yunjin and Kazuha smile at their member, elated that their youngest won't be alone. "We're sorry we can't be there," Yunjin says, caressing Eunchae's head, brushing her brown locks. "but they would be so proud knowing you're taking care of each other til the end."
Rei's been on her phone through the conversation, which explains why she's keeping distance, facing the practice room wall. Only now do any of you realize.
"Rei-chan!" Kazuha calls to her, and she turns around with that cheeky grin.
"Guess what," she says, and her smile is so goddamn infectious, she'd make you believe they found a way to stop the meteor from hitting just now. "Called my parents. They're gonna miss me a lot, but I knew I wasn't letting you all go without me."
Liz runs over to give her an emphatic hug. They've always been so close, so joined to the hip at points. You can imagine Rei playfully arguing over the phone begging to stay, that she wouldn't live without her and vice versa. "Took only seven minutes," she adds, as she lets Liz cry on her shoulder from joy.
So here's the score with all the commotion going on: the IVE girls are staying together, Leeseo has Eunchae tied down, while Yunjin and Kazuha are flying home to their respective countries tomorrow. It was fun while it lasted, these two or so hours. Even if the interactions were brief and emotionally charged, at least you got these two groups together one last time.
"I guess it's the six of us at least," you remark, including yourself in that list of people heading off to Jeju to watch the sunset over your incoming demise. Deep down, you always wanted to go; you just needed a reason to stick together, no matter how many people would be present. "I can come along too, right?"
"Of course," Leeseo immediately answers, like no is not an option. "You brought us all here. You should be there."
"And we're sorry we might not be there," Yunjin adds, apologetic again. "But they're amazing company. Trust us."
"Rei will keep you up all night," Kazuha jokes, prompting Rei to shoot her a mischievous scowl. Liz randomly blushes. "And if you're ever missing us, just know we'll be there in spirit."
It's the kind of reassurance that harkens back to old days. When they would post on Weverse and on streams to fans needing strength to carry on through hard times. Because even in your final hours, you need a bridge to cross over to the other side safely. They still do, but you could tell the feeling isn't the same; they don't even believe it themselves. Until now. For a moment, they're idols again.
"That's everything settled," Gaeul remarks. The room turns its attention to her. "We'll meet here tomorrow morning or at the HYBE building, whichever feels more convenient—"
"HYBE building," Leeseo interrupts. "I like this place and all, but I don't think we can all fit in the lobby."
No one else speaks up. No one objects. After a moment to ruminate the options, Gaeul opens her mouth again.
"Since Eunchae's the only Fim joining us, I feel comfortable if we all just met here."
"But—"
"It's okay, Seo." Eunchae cuts Leeseo off. "I know my way around. I can take care of myself."
Leeseo opens her mouth. No words come out, so she closes them again. Hard to believe they're grown now when they were babies not that long ago. You can still see flashes of that in her mannerisms and character.
"We'll meet here at dawn," Gaeul continues. "Tonight, we go home, pack all our belongings, say goodbye to our families if we can. Rest up. Tomorrow's gonna be the longest day ever."
Everyone nods in agreement. Then Yunjin and Kazuha give hugs to each and every single one in the room. Including you.
"Gonna miss you guys a lot," Yunjin would mutter to every person. She's always worn her heart on her sleeve, so you know genuine emotion is felt in every word, every tight embrace. You hardly know each other (you literally just met two hours ago), yet she hugs you like you've been best friends for a lifetime. Maybe in the next one.
On the other hand, Kazuha is calm and stoic. Doesn't show her true self much, with or without cameras. She smiles. Laughs. Reacts. She's never been one to let loose, always disciplined in her intuition. Nevertheless, the care is there, that maternal instinct kicking in when she hugs everyone, with you last.
"You've done us a great favor bringing us together," she whispers in your ear. "Now they won't be alone."
"Never been. They always had you."
"And we had them to guide us," she replies back. There's an ache in how she refers to them. The ones who would be proud and would make the initiative to gather them all. "I wish we thought of this sooner."
"Not late," you say. "It's not too late."
Minutes later, you all emerge from the practice room with a newfound confidence, one that feels rare given what's to come. The lobby is still packed, but you become the center of attention. The girls give their farewell bows and waves to the idols waiting, chatting it up in the lounge. Yeonjung stops Gaeul for a quick exchange while the rest of you go on ahead. No one asks where you're going or why. And as you pass by the desk, the receptionist is watching some variety show on her phone, but at the edge of the screen, the doomsday clock is still ticking, counting down, a slow inevitability.
Less than two days remain.
—————
Sleep never comes that night.
You've had your restless nights. It's been a habit as far back as college. Instead of research and work, however, you've been thinking about them. Those girls. The ones who made your life tolerable even in the smallest of ways: their music, personalities, performances, and everything in between. You may not have known them much, if at all, but their existence has defined you. And wonder what could have been. The fact you've gotten the seven of them together is a miracle in its own right, how much more the rest.
But that's for another lifetime. The inky blackness of night gives away for royal blue, the incoming sunrise. You haven't packed even a single thing since you got home. There's only less than 40 hours left, and the biggest day of your lives is looming ever closer.
No time to worry about that. You do your usual morning routine: shower, breakfast, then pack. A backpack with your essentials, three sets of clothing changes, grooming kit, and the bottle of unopened champagne is all you're bringing. The last time you remember carrying this much was when you first arrived in Korea. Now it's come full circle.
Before you leave, you do two more things: pocket the photo you took from the office in your jacket—the very reason for all this—and blow out the candle set in front of a second personal shrine, this time encompassing a whole shelf. You'll miss the albums, the photocards, the polaroids, the memories embedded in them. And despite letting them go, you don't regret a single purchase or a single cent.
With that, you take a deep breath and step out of your house for the last time.
By the time you reach the hill where the Starship building stands, the entrance is already packed.
They've been waiting a good 15 to 20 minutes, Gaeul says. The rest of the girls are there, as expected: Rei, Liz, Leeseo, and Eunchae. The plan is this: you'll take a ferry to Jeju, because all flights within and out of Korea have already been taken, and the world is shutting down tomorrow.
You greet one another warmly, with hugs and kisses than bows now. The first thing you notice is how much luggage each of them are carrying in comparison to your solitary backpack. Three to four bags for each person, like they're embarking on a world tour instead of watching the world end.
The next is Rei and Liz wearing matching brown hoodies. "Christmas gift," Rei would comment, and she'd reveal they were shocked and laughed when they found out they gifted each other the exact same thing for their secret santa. It brought them even closer that day, and you can tell by how they’re glued to the hip.
Then you turn to Leeseo and Eunchae. Just the two of them instead of three like what they've been talking about the previous night. "Kyujin had a change of heart. She wanted to be with her members," Eunchae would answer, and you wonder if this was inspired by what happened yesterday. You can see the vision: a majority of these groups, bonded by hardship and success, spending their final day together like this.
Just then, you hear the rumble of an engine. Followed by another. Actually, there's three of them pulling up to the hill.
"Our ride's here," Gaeul remarks, standing up from the stairsteps. Three identical black vans await, enough to seat your group three times over. The passenger door to the first one opens, and everyone smiles from ear to ear.
You can't help yourself either, because Yunjin steps forward with her arms wide open.
"How's my favorite people in the world?" she asks energetically, and God, you missed that bubbly energy so bad. Not just on stage or in front of cameras, but in general.
"Yunjin, I thought you were—"
"I couldn't help myself. I said my goodbyes over the phone last night," she cuts you off, putting a hand on your shoulder as she walks into a spree of hugs from the girls, especially Eunchae. "There was a lot of crying and pleading, especially with Rachel, but they were more than willing to let me go. So here we are."
"We?"
From the second van, Kazuha emerges quietly, waving hello at everyone, but with no less fanfare. The group, as you know it, is officially complete.
"You can thank Yunjin for this," she simply says, laidback and composed as usual. "She crashed mid-call while I was bidding farewell to my family."
"No I didn't," Yunjin playfully denies. "You were 10 seconds away from hanging up."
"But you still crashed my call."
"Did not."
"Did."
They go back and forth a few times, while the rest of you can only laugh along. It's all in playful jest, but it still doesn't answer why there's three vans. You understand that two are needed to accommodate you all, separating you into your respective groups with your luggage, but a third seems unnecessary.
So Yunjin explains it on the walk to the van, and it's rather simple: "All our camping stuff! Tents, foldable chairs, everything to make our last day on earth not as miserable."
"I'm surprised you're not driving," Eunchae remarks to Yunjin as you head for the vans. The drivers come out from their seats to assist with the many, many bags.
"I would have driven us into a ditch. Eventually," she quips back, drawing another round of laughs.
—————
You get to the port faster than expected.
The chaos has all but completely died. It's like the remaining people that haven't fully accepted the inevitable are finally coming to terms with their fate. Fires are petering out, most if not all non-essential stores are closed, and the mood is just dour all around. It doesn't help that the weather feels like it wants to break your spirit: cloudy skies, roaring thunder, the occasional drizzle—this eerie atmosphere leaves shivers even on the most resolute of souls.
Nevertheless, you make it onboard the first ferry to Jeju. You slept through the drive there, so you're woken up by the sound of horns blaring and the waters crashing against the shore. One of the last normal places on earth, you reckon, there's this stillness keeping everything afloat. Even with all the shouting and noise, that serenity holds it all together. Because for every shout by a driver, there's a man reading his Bible. For every crying infant being comforted by their mother, there's a couple holding hands on the ship's deck. For every dog bark, there's the flap of seagull wings.
And then there's you: for every tired, drained soul is another smiling widely through their grief. People who've resigned to their fate and are making the most of their time left, like the diagnosis is terminal. Here, the rain has stopped. The skies remain gray, but patches of blue, hints of the sun, begin shining through.
Two hours, the captain said. Two hours before you reach Jeju, your final resting place. And from what you've seen, there's not a lot of better, greener places to die on.
While the girls catch up with one another downstairs, you find yourself leaning on the railing alone. The last 24 hours or so haven't felt real yet. You're really here, on a boat headed to Jeju alongside the idols you loved. You're doing things you never thought you'd have a chance to do, living beyond your mundane four walls and monotonous weekday routine. All it took was the end of the world for it to happen.
You don't notice Liz creeping up beside you, breaking away from the pack. Her hair is being tossed around by the wind, almost concealing her face.
"Hey," she mumbles against you, almost muted by the waters. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you reply, keeping your tone low, tilting your head in her direction but averting your gaze. "So—you get to go home. Be with family. For the end."
She nods, then shakes her head. Lets out a pained chuckle. "Sure. But I'll be with you, and them. I won't stay, just passing by to say my goodbyes to everyone."
"Right, right."
You watch the waves down below. Trace the trail the ferry makes as it cruises forward. No animal surfaces from the waters; it’s just the sea streaming backward. Meanwhile, Liz keeps her gaze straight, at the vast ocean ahead. Endless cloudy skies, endless ocean. The mainland is long gone from view; none of you will ever step foot in it again.
"When you moved from Jeju, as a trainee," you then start, after a few minutes of quiet reflection, You're facing Liz now, and she meets you halfway. "What was it like? How was—adjusting to the city?"
She doesn't speak. Not right away. That's how she normally is: reserved and withdrawn, careful when to talk and with her choice of words. "It was rough. I wasn't familiar with, well—everything. I took a big risk going out there alone. I'd get lost to and from the building, my accent was rough, and I'd get weird looks from anyone because I wasn't so used to everything. It was—brutal. I thought if I wasn't gonna get cut for my looks, it was definitely because I showed up late especially during those first two months."
In a way, your first year isn't far off from her experience. You didn't speak the language and had to use a translator more often than not. You didn't know cars were right-hand drive. You broke so many traditional customs and rules that it was a miracle you weren’t put into prison. It took you a year to read and write in basic Korean, but you eventually adjusted.
"But," she continues, "the girls helped me out so much." Her gaze flicks to the stairs, pertaining to the girls on the lower deck. "They were so kind, so patient. They took me in as one of their own." She then looks up at the sky, stares for a while as the sun slowly parts through the clouds, then down at the ocean. "Especially Yujin and Wonyoung. They taught me everything as idols."
"Right," you say, and you think about how fast they must have grown up. They were the youngest back then, the ones cared for and coddled by everyone else, only to turn around a few months later to become those maternal figures for girls not that far off in age from them. Wonyoung especially, with how the media and spotlight has been far more critical towards every little thing she does. They must have carried wisdom beyond their years.
"The one thing I cherish the most was what they said to me before our last evaluation, right as we were getting ready to debut," she adds, and you can see her features crack up remembering in real time. "was that I should always be myself. No matter if people hated me or not. They said that true fans would see through everything and like me for who I am. It's been my mantra ever since."
Your gaze flicks to the vast ocean ahead. Jeju is beginning to rise above the horizon. Seeing this, Liz walks away, but you call to her before she reaches the stairs.
"Jiwon."
She turns around. Faces you eye to eye. Your heart races. You're nervous, but not out of love; this isn't a confession.
"I'm sure they're proud of you," you say. "Proud you stayed true to yourself."
She doesn't react. Doesn't say a word back. Rather, she continues walking and heads down the stairs, but as she disappears, you can see a trace of a smile forming on her lips.
One step out of the ferry is enough to inform you that the difference between Jeju and the mainland is night and day. The air you breathe is fresher, the grass is greener, and the world is quieter, but in a peaceful, serene way. You can hardly tell the end of the world is happening if you lived here.
Liz finds you waiting outside. The vans are still inside the ferry, waiting to disembark. Some families are reuniting here, hugging those who have chosen to return home and spend their final hours with their loved ones. One look in her eyes says it all: she wishes she could have been back on a better day.
"I just wanted to say thank you," she says, and it's sincere enough to break through her reserved nature. "For saying that. For saying I'm still–me."
Your mouth opens instinctively, but only air comes out. You were never the best at listening or giving responses, but it's your connection to those girls that you can meet halfway and relate.
"O-of course," you manage, and your brain is glitching trying to find the right words to say. "But I'm just a guy who only knew you cause of them–"
"And you accepted us, too. Right?" Liz cuts you off gently. Hand on your shoulder, she knows where you're coming from.
You can only nod. Of course you did. Loved them the same way as those girls. They're an extension of their legacy, their lineage.
She's walking away again. You hear the blare from one of the vans. Her smile is wider now, a glimpse of the old Liz. "Come on. Family's expecting a huge party. They've prepared lunch for us."
The road to Liz's house is long and winding. Remote, as with most of the places in Jeju, considering the rent's cheaper but there’s not a lot of people living here. Eventually, tarmac gives away to a mile long stretch of gravel, sandwiched by never-ending fields extending outward. Your driver remarks that essentials haven't been shipped here in almost a week, and for good reason. No point in trying to save lives when you're near the Earth's demolition zone, but given how abundant the harvest looks, they don't seem to have a problem at least.
As the convoy approaches a house nestled on a hill, a makeshift Welcome Home Jiwon banner hangs by the front door. Hero's welcome, Leeseo would say, and even though Liz laughs and it's in good nature, that bittersweet undertone lingers. You can't imagine being her: the last two homecomings being both under the worst circumstances.
You step out first. Liz follows after you, then the rest of the IVE members. Yunjin emerges from the passenger seat of the second van. The other two stay in their respective vehicles for now. As the wind blows the bottom edges of the banner, no one is stepping out to greet your party.
As the girls turn to Liz, she calls out: "Mom. Dad. I'm home."
And for a few seconds, no one answers back. Then the front door swings open, and out comes her younger brother.
"Noona! You really came!" He comes rushing down the stairs screaming and runs hugging his sister. He doesn't seem to acknowledge your existence, or her friends and traveling companions for that matter. Nevertheless, everyone steps back and gives them their moment. "It's been a while!"
She smiles. "Only been two months," she corrects, met by a playful slap on her cheek in retaliation.
"Two months too long," he says, and they share a laugh. Warm, pleasant, wholesome. And even though they've already said their goodbyes, you imagine these other girls would rather be with their own families than spending their last day here.
As the Kim siblings finish hugging, their mother steps out, her smile inviting. "Welcome home, Jiwonnie." Then her gaze flicks to the rest of you, finding you first. "And to you as well. Thank you for bringing her home to us."
You bow first, leading the rest. Your smile is small, your presence carefully contained.
"Come on in," she then says, stepping back into the house with an inviting gesture of her hand. "We prepared lunch for everyone."
Inside, the house feels quite lived in. The paint on the walls looks fresh, the place already smelling of cooked meat and other food. Liz's brother has already run to the kitchen helping out Mr. Kim with the last of the meals. You hear the ping of an oven, something simmering on the pan. The girls carefully take their seats in the living room while you wander around aimlessly.
Your gaze flicks on a table with framed memories of Liz throughout time: her as a preschooler, in third grade, a solo pic inside the Starship building when she was a trainee, and most recent of all, with her fellow members not that long ago (give or take a few years). They visited here at some point, probably a few times.
Yujin and Wonyoung are smiling widely in the picture, you observe. Their eyes look so bright, like they see their futures ahead of them. Can't help but smile too, even if it's not the real thing.
"That was not long after we all renewed our contracts," Gaeul suddenly mumbles, having stepped beside you while you were deep in thought. "I thought we had forever, but–"
She shakes her head, her tone shifting to something somber. Her lips are moving, but nothing comes out, only air. The look on her face tells you everything you know: regret.
"I don't know why she went," she mutters, mainly to herself, but you can hear her. "I should have told her not to–"
"It wasn't your fault," you kindly say. Your hand on her shoulder, she's holding the photo now, a little too tight for comfort. "Was just–bad luck. They wouldn't have known. None of you did."
Her hands are trembling, soon followed by the rest of her body. She looks like she's ready to crumble anytime. Leeseo sees this and walks over to her to give her a hug, and Gaeul immediately lets go: she sobs on her shoulder and into her embrace.
Liz, helping her family the entire time, is on your other side. "She's never been able to forgive herself for it," she remarks, sympathetic. "Come on. Lunch is ready."
The distribution is split into three rounds, since it can only seat ten. The family isn't used to such a large party, but there's more than enough food and drink to go around for even thirds. It's quite the last supper.
Against your wishes, they invite you to take first, followed by the IVE members, then the Fimmies. Liz's family eats last; they sit around the table, while you scramble throughout the living room for lunch. Gaeul stays in front of the photo, while Leeseo and Rei hover close by her side. Yunjin's talking with someone over the phone, and Eunchae and Kazuha sit by you in the guest area, eating quietly.
"We were so surprised when it happened," Kazuha mumbles between chomps. "We all did. It was so sudden."
You definitely know. It was everywhere for a whole week. While you were busy maintaining your nine to five, the world was moving too fast to keep up. And while this incident brought most of Korea to their knees, you were still sleeping under that metaphorical rock.
Eunchae nods in agreement. "When Sakura and Chaewon heard of it, I never saw them cry this much and weep so loud."
Of course they did. They'd be the first people to throw themselves into the fire to keep the rest of the girls warm. The others too, but they'd all be fighting to see who'd keep them safe instead. When it happened, the rest would fall, and ultimately they did. Little did anyone know that was the beginning of a domino effect.
And all you can do is just eat quietly, reflecting on what could have been.
An hour and a half later, the party is ready to hit the road again. Liz got their blessing and approval to be with you for the end of the world, and though it pains the family, it's her heart's desire, and they're more than willing to let her go one last time.
The Kim family gives Liz one final hug. Mrs. Kim is crying. Mr. Kim is steady, but on the verge of falling apart too. Her younger brother is holding her tightly, refusing to let go.
"If somehow, we ever survive this," he mumbles against her hair, "Then I don't want you to leave us ever again. You understand me?"
Liz is crying too, but she softly laughs. "You bet."
You don't see any of this. Only hearing the commotion, as you're using the bathroom. Washing your slick face, you stare at your reflection. Blink a few times. They're sharing hearty laughs outside now, exchanging promises to see each other in the next life, but their voices gradually die down. Your ears start ringing.
They're talking.
"I miss them too," someone says. The voice is distinctly feminine.
"They'll be alright," another answers. This one too, is also feminine. They're quite clear, in fact. Reverberating in your ears. Like they're in the room with you right now.
So you look around. Nothing. Just you. But you can still hear them clearly.
"So glad they're together," the first girl says. "Glad they didn't forget about each other. And us."
The other woman makes a satisfied hum. And then they fade out, like this was some kind of fatigue-induced dream.
You're still looking around, trying to find where they went. Nothing.
"Hey!" Mr. Kim calls out from the living room, grounding you back to reality. "You have somewhere to be."
Your eyes glaze back at the bathroom door; your legs are so wobbly, you end up leaning. "I'll be out in a bit."
Here's what you'll do when you step out: you won't tell them what you were hearing. There's no feasible way to make it sound sense, even though your outrageous idea has brought you all together. And while they've heard crazier things at the end of the world, none of them hit quite as close to home as this. Some thoughts are best kept secret and left unspoken.
So the dust you were taken from, and so will you be dust when you return. That's a verse you remember when you were young and still had faith.
But right now, all you see is green. An endless land of green.
Completely untouched by man, Jeju's cliffs rise up to the edge of the island. The seas are a lifetime below, its waves crashing violently along the rock formations and the bluff. Otherwise, it's the most serene place you've ever been in. If there was ever a final frontier on Earth, this was it: it's no Tower of Babel, but it's the closest you'll get to touching heaven.
After a moment to soak in the fresh air, you all get to unpacking. Unfurling tents, laying out food, spreading out jackets, unfolding chairs, taking photos, saving their final memories. Wood is as common as oxygen here, perfect for the fire you'll light up at night. Even out here, high up in the hills of Jeju, reception remains strong; someone has their phone on the news, keeping track of the doomsday clock. 28 hours left, the trackers say, and it's gonna time perfectly with the last sunset this world will ever see.
Hours pass. The bright blueness of day gives way to sunset’s orange, and you see the asteroid now: brighter than any other star, small but rapidly approaching. No one's brought a telescope, but you all will see up close and personal soon anyway.
24 hours remain, the tracker reads on Google. You're standing alone on the edge of the cliffs, atop a small hill that makes you feel closer to God than ever before. Ahead the ocean stretches out endlessly, bleeding orange against the waters. Soon, it'll be red and black and melted away. As the sun sets on the horizon, sinking for its next rotation, the winds are becoming breezier and colder.
This feeling of being closer to God–you feel them here too. You've got no evidence other than your gut, your instinct telling you this. The same intuition that made you look twice on your office wall, prompted you to take that photo, brought you to the HYBE building–it's all been building to this. Like it's a part of some divine scheme.
Look to your right and the camp several levels below is all but completely finished. The bonfire is starting, the place is lit up by portable lanterns and the girls are specks of dust from your view. Someone's waving at you from that distance; no shit, you don't know who it is.
That's your signal to head back down and return. But before you do, there's one more thing:
The photo's been pocketed in your pants the entire time. You pull it out and hold it on the cliff. It was taken at a place similar to this: sunset background, their hands raised to the sky, with their final days looming around the corner too. The parallels couldn't be any more eerie.
And a new thought comes up: how did they feel around that time. How they embraced their final days knowing it was about to end. Did they beg. Did they plead. Did they accept their fate. They definitely cried, though. How many times, you don't know.
That was a lifetime ago, yet with the meteor approaching, it feels like it was only yesterday.
—————
This group circle hearkens back to your last days in college.
It was a spiritual retreat before graduation, a two day respite from your internship and other commitments to reflect on the past four years. The night ended like this too: each person coming forward to share their memories, their grievances, and everything in between. No stone was left unturned, no darkness left hidden in the light. You don't remember much other than being closed off from everyone else, that your only regret was not being more sociable, but in the time between that and now, hardly that part has changed.
The fire's smoke reaches up to the inky night sky, crackling and spitting. All of you–eight to be exact–sit around the campfire. Some in folded chairs, others on the grass, and the rest on blankets or jackets. Coffee's being passed around as the evening chill settles comfortably throughout the area. Lanterns and portable lights make everyone's faces somewhat visible.
No one speaks. No one's taken up the presiding role. At least not yet.
22 hours, says the ticker, and it's being reported that only 5000 or so people have been granted passage to the top secret bunkers to live on after the meteor hits. World leaders, a handful of celebrities, and billionaires who bought their way in, obviously. But there's no point in protesting; it's tucked somewhere unknown, off radar, and they don't give two shits about what happens to everyone now.
"So," Yunjin starts, and she can hardly be heard, barely carried by the wind. "Since it's our last night together, I think, we should all share stories." Her gaze flicks left and right, by the members beside her and the friends made along the way. "Anyone wanna go first?"
She's met by silence. It’s neither awkward nor tense. The kind that's usually reserved for students when asked about a lecture they should be paying attention to, but instead drift off from. Good effort, though, you think to yourself. She's always been the social butterfly, the most outgoing of the bunch.
"Alright. Guess I'll have a go," she continues, almost muttering to herself, trying to laugh the cringe away. Doesn't quite reach it. Then she breathes. Hands clasped together, she stares at the fire for a moment, then tilts forward.
"As you all know, me, Chaewon, and Nako go all the way back," Yunjin starts, her face lit by the fire. "You know how competitive it gets at times, especially when it’s on national television. I wanted to prove myself to the people, because I knew I could be great. Chaewon let me. Nako let me too, even though she was the one that was really meant for the part, and I can't thank her enough. There was no argument from anyone. But then–people thought I was greedy. Selfish for wanting to take the vocal role. But it was because of them I got to shine, even if I ultimately didn't make it onto the final lineup. Then, geez, as fate would have it, we'd end up in the same group together a few years later."
She laughs. Smiles at the thought. It's genuine, warm. "She was meant to be a leader. She sees the best in people and she makes them believe in themselves. I count myself so goddamn lucky to be Chaewon's teammate, but more importantly, as a friend." Looking to her members beside her, she nudges them closer. "We all are. So kind, so gracious, and so pure of heart." She sighs. Blinks. A pair of tears fall from her eyes. "Wherever you are Chaewon, just know we wish you were here with us. Because you would be."
Kazuha speaks up next. She sounds almost quiet, as if restraining herself. "When I first arrived in Korea, I didn't speak the language. I mean, I knew some of the basics–hello, goodbye, thank you, where is the bathroom–but I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone. I couldn't even order food without having to point at pictures. I felt helpless."
Her smile is just as small as Yunjin's, sad and bittersweet. "Then came the low point. I was scolded by the choreographer during training for not keeping up with the others, because I couldn't understand what she was saying."
She shifts in her seat, crossing her leg as she gazes into the fire. "I cried in my room that night. It was the worst I felt about myself since I began learning ballet. It had only been a month, but I thought about quitting already. Maybe this wasn't for me, I thought to myself. Then Sakura came into my room, knocking on my door. She sat by me and said, 'It's hard isn't it? Being somewhere new. Becoming someone new,' and I said yes. And you know the part that got me? She told me she did it three times. The first in Japan, then in Korea, and then—with me."
Her gaze flicks toward Yunjin and Eunchae. They're smiling wide, so she can't help but grin seeing them too. "With us. We hadn't debuted yet, not even close. But she spoke like it was happening the next day. Like we were already past the hardest part."
Kazuha holds her hands close to her heart. "She never got impatient. Never made me feel stupid. Between practices, she'd help me get accustomed to the language. She'd speak on my behalf whenever I wanted to express myself until I was ready to do it on my own. And even after I became fluent, I never stopped learning from her. If not for her, I wouldn't have become an idol. If not for her, I wouldn't be here with you guys. She's the reason I can speak here today, and be proud of how far I’ve come. I just wish I could tell her that. I had so many chances, but I never did. Not really. Not in a way that matters."
Eunchae's wiping a tear from her eye before she takes the floor. "They're all sisters and mother figures to me. Chaewon, Sakura, Yunjin, Zuha—you all took care of me. Protected me. Made sure I couldn't be swallowed by the system completely."
She pauses. Swallows her throat.
"I was so young when I joined. Too young now that I think about it. I didn't really know what I was doing; I just followed my heart and wanted to dance. I didn't know who I was, but they did. They took me in and loved me, and because of them, I grew into someone I can be proud of."
Her voice cracks at the end of her last sentence. Leeseo instinctively reaches out and holds her hand. Yunjin puts a comforting hand on her back.
"I don't know what I'm going to do without them," she whispers. "I just hope we can be together, even in the next life."
Yunjin then pulls her into an impassioned hug. Kazuha reaches over to rest a hand on her knee. As close as Leeseo is to her, she lets them have their moment. The whole group does.
Gaeul speaks up next. Low and steady, it’s the kind of tone used to holding things together. "Yujin and I were the oldest, so naturally, the leadership role came down to the both of us. Then she ended up getting chosen, much to the shock of everyone else." She faces her members, who nod once in agreement. "You were there. I still remember that day. We just wrapped up the jacket shoot for our debut, and they announced it three days before our last evaluation."
"Wonyoung was especially sad," Liz quietly remarks. "She wasn't gonna be the maknae like before."
"Yeah, and that's exactly why we all were," she answers. "She essentially had to mature overnight. But that night, she came up to me and said, 'Unnie, I need you. I need someone older, someone wiser, someone who can hold me up when I crumble.' And to be honest, when I heard of it, I didn't think I was the right person for the job. She had more experience in the industry, and so did Wonyoung, so I felt that she was more qualified. But then it clicked: she was still young. She was still a teenager trying to figure things out, and she needed someone to reassure her she'd be okay. So I did. I became the person she can confide in, whenever she doubted herself, even when she worried about everyone else."
She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. "She would have wanted to be here. She would have loved to see us all together. I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill that promise to the end. I'm sorry I couldn't be by her side, and the one time I wasn't, I paid the ultimate price."
Rei mutters something to Kazuha. Her lips are concealed behind her hand. They're exchanging smiles. Some laughs, too. Then she puts her hand down.
"When I came to Korea the first time, I was lonely. Not homesick, exactly; I missed Japan, but I knew I wanted to be here. I knew this was where I belonged. But I didn't have anyone: no friends, no family, no one who understood what I was going through."
She turns to face Liz, and their hands find each other.
"Then these girls took me in. They didn't care that I was the first Japanese trainee the company recruited; in fact, they learned Japanese so they could communicate with me. They made me feel at home, even when I was so far away. They helped me get accustomed to Korea, and I couldn't thank them enough. For that, I have no regrets. None."
They lean on each other's heads. Rei smiles at Liz, and she blushes in response. She lets go of her hand to speak next:
"I grew up on this island. It's beautiful, but it's small. Isolated. I hardly had friends to play with or have lifelong bonds with. Seoul was mostly what I saw on the TV and in pictures, so it became my dream to see the bright lights and the big city. And when I got there, I was—terrified. People were hostile to my accent. I got lost so often. I didn't know anything except I was a girl from Jeju who was in over her head."
Her gaze flicks to Gaeul beside Rei, then Leeseo next to Eunchae. There's two spots where they should be seated in, but instead is an unoccupied void that can't be filled.
"They welcomed me. All of them. They loved me the way I am. It didn't matter that I wasn't polished or perfect, or that I was so clumsy and arrived late to practices; they helped me find my way. They made Seoul feel like a second home." Liz covers her mouth, nearly reaching up to her eyes. When she talks again, the words come out almost inaudible. "I don't know if I ever told them that. I don't know if they knew how much they meant to me, but I hope they did. I hope they knew."
Leeseo's been waiting for her turn patiently and quietly. When she takes the floor, she sounds smaller than the rest, but no less steady:
"My unnies were my mentors. They taught me everything: how to dance, sing, act in front of cameras. Being everything an idol should be, basically." She pauses. Grins. It's quite the contrast compared to the otherwise solemn atmosphere and previous melancholic testimonies of the others. "It helps when one of those members is Jang Wonyoung, and the other is An Yujin. They were so perfect for us—and each other."
Everyone smiles. Warm, genuine, bright. Some much needed levity in the space.
"But they also taught me how to be brave," she continues. Her energy is dimmed just slightly, but still sincere. "How to keep going even when I was scared. How to smile even when I wanted to cry."
She looks at the fire, then at Eunchae, before staring up at the sky.
"I'm still learning. I'm still scared. But I'm here. And I'm not alone. And it's because of them. I hope I can be that person for someone the same way they did for me."
The fire has burned low. The logs are crumbling at the edges. Its warmth feels softer now, more gentle. Everyone has told their stories, shared fond memories, poured out regrets, and everything in between.
"Now then," Yunjin says, presiding once again. Her gaze flicks to you, seated across the fire, and everyone else follows suit. She doesn't press on any further, letting you decide whether you want to take the floor. And after some thoughtful consideration, your lips curve in the shape of a smile.
Of course you pull the photo out. It's like your personal gun at this point. They can barely make out the figures even with the fire, but the faces on it are too familiar, too recognizable to matter. The implication is right there.
"I was there from the beginning. Way before that," you say, holding the photo, scanning it front and back. "Since Produce 48. So yeah, I saw your performance of Into the New World," you add, staring directly at Yunjin. "I watched the show every single week. I had my picks. Argued with strangers online about who deserve to make it. I had my favorites; everyone did. And when the final lineup was announced, it" -you swallow- "wasn't what I wanted."
Yunjin leans forward. Kazuha's face shifts. Everyone waits with bated breath.
"Not gonna lie, some of my picks didn't make it," you continue, averting your gaze, looking down on the ground. "And those that took their place—I didn't understand. I was angry. Disappointed. I almost didn't follow the group at all."
You're holding the photo with both hands, staring into each member's eyes, remembering the qualities that captured your heart. "And when they debuted. I watched their debut stage, and" —the words die gradually on your tongue— "I don't know how to explain it. I just—fell in love. Not just with my picks, but all of them. The way they danced, the way their voices sounded, their music—it's like they've been brought together not by some committee or public vote, but through divine intervention. Like they were a team of destiny."
The fire crackles. You pause to catch your breath. Your glance shoots upward to the sky, at the smoke rising to the heavens. "Then the whole voting scandal came out, and everything fell apart. People wanted their heads. Said they shouldn't exist, that their legacy was a fraud. And maybe that's true, knowing what we know now, but those girls didn't deserve any of the hate. They didn't choose any of that. They simply—showed up and worked hard. Most important of all, they loved what they were doing, and they loved each other. They made something beautiful, even if the foundations were flawed from the start."
Somehow, through it all, you don't cry. You remains steadfast. Probably because you’ve done your weeping a long time ago. Or you lost your ability to feel. Maybe both. Around you, they're intently watching, crying, listening. You feel jealous for these girls; not only because they got to be closer to them than you could ever dream of, but for exactly that: the fact they have a living, breathing soul.
Nevertheless, you carry on: "I supported them through everything. The highs, the lows, the record breaking pandemic year, the eventual disbandment. I waited for their solo debuts, their new groups, their new careers. I watched Yena transform into a three-dimensional entertainer, Yuri, Hyewon, and Minju become award-winning actresses, Eunbi turn into a festival legend, Chaeyeon competing in every dance show imaginable because her love for dancing is just that insatiable, Nako establishing herself in Japan while occasionally dipping in Korea every now and then—"
With each name, your smile grows marginally wider. With every acknowledgment of their legacy, your face becomes brighter.
"And don't even get me started on you girls," you add. You're looking at them one by one: Yunjin, Kazuha, Eunchae, Gaeul, Rei, Liz, and Leeseo, and the rest who aren't there but present in spirit—the long-term impact they left on not just you, but on K-pop in general. "I don't really need to say much, because you're living proof of their influence on the industry."
Their responses are all over the place, but in a positive way. Liz covers her face with her hands. Rei smiles through her eyes. Eunchae's eyes glisten. Yunjin has this proud, affirming look on her lips. Kazuha nods once. Gaeul simply looks away.
"But," you continue, looking at that photo again. "it's not the same, you know? Not the same without them. Without all of them. When they were together, they were—a constellation. A family. And I know; I know they've moved on. They have these new careers, new lives, new people to love and take care of. And I did too. I accepted you guys the same way they did. But some part of me kept waiting, kept hoping, kept wishing that somehow, someday, I'd get to see them reunited again, even just once. I.O.I did it; why can't they? And that opportunity never came."
You look up to the sky once more. The smoke is dying down. The fire is on the verge of burning out. The sky is clear, countless stars twinkling far above. Soak every second you have left to see the night.
"Then the world started ending. At first, I was just ready to die. Honestly, I prayed the meteor would come sooner than later. I didn't really see any reason in hoping or living any further. But, as I was about to clock out of work, I thought of them. I remembered this photo." You hold it up for all to see, even in the near dark. "And I thought, if I'm going to die, I want to do one more thing. Even if it was impossible, I wanted to see them one more time. So instead of going home, I went to HYBE, and then" —you gesture with your free hand— "here we are."
You take the deepest breath of your life. The fire pops. Someone's sniffling, another is sobbing.
"They would have wanted this," Gaeul quietly remarks. "Yujin would have wanted us to be together. I know she would have done the same."
"They're here," Yunjin says. She looks around at the circle, something she'll never get tired of. "In a way. We're representing them by being here."
Kazuha reaches across the fire and takes your hand. Warm, but gentle. "Thank you. For remembering them. For remembering us."
"I think this was the best idea," Liz adds. "We're not alone when tomorrow comes, because we have each other."
The atmosphere in the circle shifts to something lighter. The fire has all but completely fizzled out, reduced to faint embers. Eunchae rips open a bag of marshmallows; Leeseo whines that she should have brought it out when the fire was still stronger. Her complaining becomes irrelevant when she has first dibs, then passes it around the group.
"Okay, now what about comfort songs," Yunjin asks. "What's the one song we're listening to at the end of the world?"
For a moment, everyone thinks about their answers carefully. A surprising struggle, like a pop quiz has been dropped. Eventually, they're given out one by one:
"One Last Time by Ariana Grande," says Liz. "That one also had a meteor apocalypse for the music video. Feels fitting for tomorrow."
"Rebel Heart," Rei follows. "They did say that song gives off disbandment vibes, and well—we are disbanding. Technically."
"Give me Just the Way You Are," Leeseo chimes in. "The Milky song. It always gets me in a good mood no matter how low or scared I'm feeling."
"I guess Bohemian Rhapsody's a good shout," Gaeul comments. "Six minutes, and it's got everything from sentimental to orchestral and even rock. No better last song to go out on."
"I'll do you one better," Yunjin suggests. "All Too Well. The full 10 minutes. At least we can say we were standing at the end of the world when it hits."
"You're only saying that because it's Taylor Swift," Kazuha chides. Yunjin rolls her eyes.
"Then tell me what song would you listen to, Zuha," she chirps back, playfully elbowing her ribs.
Kazuha grimaces. "Sign of the Times," she answers calmly. "I was rewatching Project Hail Mary last night to cheer myself up after the call." She sighs. "I wish Ryan Gosling was real."
While Yunjin shoots her this conspicuous, disgusted glare, Eunchae casually cuts in: "I wanna say Hot. By, you know" —her eyes flick between her members, blushing— "The last thing I wanna think of when we go is us."
And that leaves only you. You could go for something humorous like It's the End of the World as We Know It, something epic like The Final Countdown (too on the nose), back to comedy like Closing Time, something overtly sentimental like Do You Realize, or downright nihilistic like Creep—
You end up going sentimental. The phone isn't halfway out of your pocket when you press play.
Have you ever seen anything?
Have you ever seen this color?
The smiles come naturally. Of course. Someone may have seen it coming a mile away, but no one cares. The more surprising bit is the song choice more than the artist itself; not any of their titles (especially Panorama), nor their slower ballads, but something happier and more upbeat, and from their debut as well. The reasoning is the same as Leeseo's: it's an instant shot of dopamine regardless of the situation, no matter how you feel at the moment. But one particular line resonates with you even now:
I will always be with you~
And sure, it's one of, if not the most common trope especially in K-pop songs. A promise about a lifetime, when really, it was for only two and a half years. But it doesn't change the lasting impact these girls had on your life, and that's the last thing you want to remember even in your dying moments.
You see Leeseo mouthing the lyrics like she knows this song from heart too. Everyone's bopping their head with the song. The fire's completely gone now, and the evening wind completely takes over. Someone yawns deeply; you don't know who. Suddenly, Kazuha rises from her seat and stretches her arms.
"I'm clocking out," she groans out mid yawn, walking over to her tent. She doesn't look fazed at all; if anything, it's another day for her. Another notch on a schedule that's well and truly ending.
The others follow, retreating to their chosen tents. Of course you have your own, but you've given up on a proper rest a long time ago, way before a meteor decided it was your time. You exchange good nights with everyone knowing you'll hardly sleep through the night, and that's okay. It won't matter when you're dust and bones around this period tomorrow.
But even with all these thoughts running through your head, you close your eyes. As your consciousness fades to black, this is the last thing you remember:
18 hours remaining.
—————
Still, even as the end looms closer than ever, the world never stops. It's making its funeral bed.
The Pope presides over a country-wide prayer vigil at St Peter's Basilica. Analysts and reporters are crunching down the initial casualties (already in the billions), the long term effects on the planet, and whether or not life as we know it will continue existing in the years to come. Presidents are giving their farewell addresses; some choose to stay and die with their nation, others (global superpowers mainly) have taken quiet refuge somewhere only they know.
People take refuge in makeshift bunkers, whether in their homes or through subways, underground basements, or whatever place they can find. Some stupid billionaires are sending rockets to blow up the meteor without properly considering the new problems such an idea would bring. Either way, this planet is fucked. Nature or the forces above have marked you all for death.
All this chaos and commotion for something that will ultimately consume everything and everyone. Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet, it's as still as water.
Less than 9 hours remaining, the doomsday ticker reads on the bottom of your phone, checking the news in real-time. Still lying in your tent, you wake up to your best night of sleep in years. Probably just the calm acceptance of your fate fully settling in your bones.
Peeking out from your tent, you can hear the relentless waves crashing against land far below the hills where you're standing. Someone's simmering food over a portable cooker, based on the crackle of oil and meat. Another's playing music over their speakers. The skies are surprisingly clear. The breeze is perfectly chill. It feels right.
You finally step out into the warm embrace of the sun. Soak it all up because you'll never feel it again in a matter of hours.
Yunjin's the first person to greet you good morning, the one cooking breakfast—or brunch, as she would correct, as it’s close to noon. Nevertheless, she serves bacon on top of pancakes with a spread of maple syrup. The pork looks a little burnt, though. She says that you're the only one who hasn't eaten yet, since everyone else got up earlier, with her in particular up the earliest to watch the last sunrise of her life.
"You look well rested," she remarks, flipping a few pieces of overcooked bacon over. "Doesn't seem like the world is ending today for you."
"I've made peace with that a long time ago," you reply, shrugging, poking a strip with your finger before she swats it away with her spatula. You wince, yelping as she smacks your hand.
"Hey. Clean your hands first," she scowls, pointing to a nearby well. You're reaching for your aching hand, annoyed as she laughs at your pain. But you acquiesce.
Meanwhile, the others are spending their final hours as you thought they would: Gaeul's by herself reading a book inside one of the vans' cargo area, Kazuha's in workout gear meditating under the open sun, and Leeseo and Eunchae are playing some video game on a shared Switch 2. Rei and Liz are nowhere to be found.
You ask them where they are; they mindlessly answer the hill without looking away from the screen even for a split second. Both girls are locked in, mashing buttons on their JoyCons competing like they're at Genesis. You forgo breakfast to look for the missing couple instead.
And sure enough, they're standing at the top of the hill, holding hands. Up here, the winds are twice as harsh, and the ocean ahead spreads out everywhere. You can see a commercial plane flying past; for what reason you don't know.
"Gorgeous view," Liz mutters to Rei. She looks down at their interlaced fingers, with Rei's skin glistening under the light, almost resembling a ring. "I lived here my entire childhood and I didn't know this place existed."
"Your parents didn't take you? Even once?" Rei asks back, tilting her head.
"I probably forgot if they did."
Rei smiles. Brushes the blow locks blocking Liz's face. Then she cups her cheek. "Maybe one day, if somehow, we make it through this, then this would be the best place to propose to."
"Who? Me?" Liz's cheeks turn beet red. Flustered at the implication, she covers her face with her hands. "Hey—"
"No, no, not me, silly," Rei chuckles. She pulls Liz's hands away from her face and leans forward, flashing her trademark grin. "I mean, the person who'll eventually love you and give you the world and all that! I can never love my best friend; we would break up and that would be ugly."
Liz looks overwhelmed. This feels like a confession. Even though they've been close after so many years. They've hung out countless times, slept in each other's beds, shared clothes and items—but they could never meet halfway for the most important thing: commitment. And that's what's keeping them apart. Even now.
"Gosh, Rei—" She stops herself. Still hesitant, still unwilling to speak her truth. "I mean—"
"Relax. That's not gonna happen, anyway. We're all gonna die," Rei interjects, her energy sounding wrong in the face of imminent death.
As you approach them, they face you in unison, moving like its choreography. "Hey!" Rei chimes, waving. Liz, meanwhile, bows gently. Slightly leaning closer to her member, but without letting go. "What are you doing here?"
"Was about to ask the same thing," you counter.
"There was no beach to walk on," she answers, "so this hill was the next best thing. Great view. I can see why you like it up here."
It can be interpreted two different ways: how it's the closest you've been to God in years, or it's a straight plunge into the sea down below. Either way, you're seeing heaven real soon.
"Am I overstepping on something?" you ask, and Liz immediately huddles behind Rei, futilely hiding half her frame.
"Not at all," Rei answers. Her eyes glance briefly back at Liz, the reddest person in the vicinity. "Anyone looking for us?"
Turn to your side, down at the camp below. Their gazes follow. Nope. No one at all. Everyone's doing their own thing.
"No, I'll just—go down—"
As you're about to turn around, Rei suddenly grabs your hand, pulls. Gives you a hug.
"What—what's happening?" you force out, the words coming rough. She squeezes tightly as if sucking the air out of your lungs.
"Nothing. Just wanted to give you a hug for no reason," she mutters, as Liz quietly sneaks off while you're trapped. You turn your head just enough to see her jog down the hill.
"What was that all about?"
"Beats me," she says. You want to believe her, but girls like Rei tend to hide secrets behind not so subtle smiles. This is no exception.
—————
7 hours remaining, the doomsday tickers read. Programming is nothing but waiting for the end to arrive; TV is basically white noise. Sometimes you just want to turn it off, throw all the phones and devices away. Death feels more real when you just—feel it approaching, not watching some countdown.
Everyone's gathered around the circle for lunch, sharing snacks, drinks, and conversations, cherishing the last traces of normal life before it all becomes dust. The final hours of peace anyone will get.
Just then, you feel a slight disturbance. A tremor. A faint echo of engine noises, followed by a flock of birds flying off. SUVs and vans and cars of different kinds—around eight or nine of them—emerge from the forest serving as the gate between road and paradise. Some drive past your camp, others stopping several feet away. You eat away the newfound attention, pretending to act nonchalant, but after a night spent with these girls and soon to be former idols, it feels like an intimate secret being exposed to the world.
But it doesn't take long to realize nobody cares. No one asks who you are and the people that you're with. You find that these people are here for one thing only: to see the end with their own eyes, up close and personal. Families, couples, friends. Doesn't matter the age, status, gender, race, or anything else, you're all nothing when the time comes.
When they wave, it's less about the stars beside you and more 'came here for the meteor, huh?' acknowledgement. They have their own snacks and chairs and blankets for the occasion. It just so happens you went a day too early, it seems.
And wouldn't you know it, Liz's family is here too.
Her brother runs headfirst into her for an immediate hug. Everyone bows and greets her parents. They brought the old family van, the one that's been in the garage and only driven like thrice a year, brought out a fourth 'for old times' sake.' They said if she couldn't be home, then they'd be the ones to go to her instead, and they're blessed to see their daughter come back one more time and just be close enough to reach. It's a bittersweet feeling, but at least they'd be together.
And as you turn around, a dozen or so women are emerging from the other side of the hill. Squint your eyes; can't really tell them apart. One of them seems to be looking for something or someone. A few moments later, they found it: you.
As they come down the hill, their faces become clearer. And so is the first voice.
"Hey!" a blonde girl yells out, and her arms are stretched wide, seemingly going for a hug. You've never met this person, but you respect the gesture enough to reciprocate.
She runs past you and towards Yunjin instead. That was never meant for you. The fact you don't know each other should have been a dead giveaway.
Likewise, the other girls walk past and ignore you completely. Nine of them to be exact now, but one stops and actually recognizes you. Her eyes widen with genuine surprise—and delight. So do yours.
"Hey," you manage to call out as the woman caresses your cheek and pecks it. "Aren't you—"
"From the Starship building? Yes!" She sounds excited that you remember her from the other day. "Oh, I never really introduced myself to you. I'm Yeonjung, by the way. I'm their senior," she says, pertaining to the IVE girls greeting her members, proud at seeing her lineage come together.
"I know you," you reply, and your gaze flicks to Gaeul in particular. "You stopped Gaeul as we were leaving."
"Yep! I found out your plans from her, and after talking with Somi, we pitched this together super last minute." All eyes are on Somi, the most enthusiastic in the area, giving hugs and kisses like it's Christmas. "It's inspiring what you've done to these girls. And well, it's inspired us too."
"You guys are fortunate," you remark, mentally recounting each member for confirmation. Somi, Sohye, Sejeong, Chungha, Jung Chaeyeon, Nayoung, Doyeon, and Yoojung. Hell, even Mina and Jieqiong are present and accounted for. It's a goddamn miracle. "You guys get to be together. Them, on the other hand—"
"We almost didn't," Yeonjung gently cuts in. "Jieqiong almost didn't make the 5 a.m. flight to Korea today. They were no longer flying planes from China after 10."
"Still. You are all here, regardless,” you say. “Even if you're not together, you all could have said goodbye to each other through calls or some physical meeting. They can't."
She blinks. Stares at her girls, then at her juniors. Subtly, she shakes her head. "They deserved better, you know. All of them. I wish they were here too."
"They are," is your reply. "In a way, I can feel them. Somehow."
The I.O.I girls finish exchanging pleasantries, and you feel the attention being redirected toward you as Rei nudges Sejeong in your direction. They surround you completely, offering apologies in their own personality and pace for ignoring you. Everywhere you turn, there's a face saying 'sorry' and bowing. You can hear the girls laughing in the background, Yunjin and Rei especially, as they wish to be with your group for the grand finale. Of course you say yes; even when you're the only person who might say no—and you won't—the supermajority won't accept that.
Ultimately, there's about forty or fifty or so here on the cliffs on Jeju, with front row seats to Earth's grand finale.
As the hours fly by, you watch the last of this world fall apart. Slowly. Surely.
First it was the networks. With less than 4 hours to go, all non-news related broadcasting said their goodbyes; each station played their last songs and aired their final programs. DJs bid their own farewells, each one no less emotionally charged and heavy:
"To all our listeners, we thank you. Thank you for tuning in, for staying with us, for keeping this job a joy even during our hardest days. We don't know what comes next. None of us do. But what we do know, is that we've shared something with you—something real, something human—and for that, we are grateful."
"If you're still listening, please. Call your mother. Call your father. Call the friend you haven't spoken to in years. Make amends. Forgive. We don't have much time left, but we have enough to leave without any regrets."
"This is KBS Radio 1. We are signing off. God bless you. God bless us all."
The services followed not long after. Telecommunications, electricity, the like–you all know because you've heard from acquaintances in the mainland and in other countries that everyone has been left to fend for themselves now. Most governments have gone into hiding, and the few that stayed are choosing to fall with their respective nations. This was a given. They'll have to live in a world that's certainly gonna be uninhabitable for millions of years.
That's their problem to deal with. For now, it's cosmic judgment given in the form of a giant rock. It's visible in the sky now as the skies turn from blue to orange, clearly seen through binoculars and telescopes, careening down at God knows what speed, because the time between impact and after is almost instantaneous. You wouldn't know what hit you.
37 minutes left, Yeonjung's custom built ticker reads. You've lost access to the internet an hour ago, so it could land any time now. She says that Dayoung managed to put it together by connecting it to NASA's database, the hows and whys she has no clue. Of course she did; she does just about anything and it fucking works. This doohickey is also why you still have communication with everyone else. There's a lifetime of questions you want to ask, but it all feels irrelevant in the face of imminent death.
Through the radar, you hear NASA and other rogue teams are pulling off the sci-fi bullshit hail mary you've seen in films: they're sending astronauts to space by blowing up the meteor before it hits earth. The rockets are already en route to meet it, and the plan is just straight up ripped from Armageddon. Dig through the center and detonate everything from the core. It's fucking stupid in the movie, it's even dumber in real life.
"Did they ever name the asteroid?" Eunchae asks innocently. "I don't think they ever said it in the news, or maybe I forgot."
"Hmm," Yeonjung ruminates, "I think it was called Luminary for how bright it was on their satellites. They missed it by 2 days."
"Sounds stupid," Somi scoffs. "Should have called B.B.S for Big Bullshit."
Just the small banter between people, not just these girls in general, feels like a relic in this heightened atmosphere. To think you'll be beyond history—not lost in the record books, not something to be remembered more than a number, a statistic—should daunt you. It doesn't; it just makes these moments more special.
Outside of you and a few others tracking the asteroid, everyone's waiting anxiously for the end. Couples, families, friends, fresh acquaintances all standing on a field looking up at the sky. Elsewhere, life goes on. The earth still spins. Nature continues its cycle with blissful innocence. It's hauntingly beautiful.
Repentance, regret—you'll save it for the afterlife when you knock on heaven's throne.
10 minutes remain. The asteroid is much clearer now; it's a gargantuan mass hurtling down in a wave of its own smoke with small crackles in the middle and around the sides. The hail mary must have failed, you assume, given there's no update since. Yeonjung ultimately decides to close the radar and join the others in facing the end. All of you do so as well. You make the short climb up the hill to meet it at the summit.
As you look around, there's this underlying dread behind each person's eyes. That maybe, just maybe, they're not ready to die just yet. They're all still in their 20s to 30s, with so much ahead of them, only for that opportunity to be prematurely taken away. Liz and Rei are holding hands. Eunchae and Leeseo are hugging each other. They're then cuddled by Kazuha and Gaeul, reassuring them that everything will be okay. Yunjin has her hands folded, feeling shivers down her spine. The wind is getting cooler; the evening breeze is approaching. The ocean bleeds orange on the horizon; the sun is sinking down.
"Do you have any regrets?" Yunjin asks suddenly, facing you as she rubs her hands on the sleeves of her shirt, uselessly keeping warmth. It's quiet, kept specifically for you.
Your brows furrow. "Regrets about what?"
"Anything. Life, love, career—anything you regret. Could be spending your last days with us."
"Definitely not," you answer calmly. "Being with you is the best thing I could have done. For a couple of days, I actually felt normal. Like I was in my youth again."
She smiles. Small, but heartfelt. That's all she needs to hear.
"And what about you?" you ask in turn.
"None," she says simply, like she's secure in herself. "I got to sing, dance, and be on stage with the people I love. That's more than what most people get."
"And Chaewon?"
"She's in my heart. That's all that matters."
Someone's playing a song on their phone. Not the choices you shared over marshmallows and around a campfire, but something different. Downpour, because today feels like a terrible day for rain.
You track the source. It's Kang Mina. She's on the verge of tears.
"You alright?" you ask her. She doesn't reply at first; it takes a moment before she looks at you and her brain loads. Blinking, she wipes a stray tear from her eye.
"Yeah," she answers, nodding erratically. Her body's trembling nervously. "Just—I missed out on a lot. I wasn't there for the 10th anniversary comeback and tour, and then the 15th one as well, thinking there would be time for me to join the 20th. And then" —she sobs— "this. I took everything for granted."
A hand finds her shoulder. Somi's. Sejeong follows. The other girls follow shortly after in shared comfort.
"You'll always be I.O.I, remember?" Sejeong says. "Doesn't matter if you weren't there for the reunions. What matters is you are I.O.I, no matter what. That part of you will always remain, wherever you are."
"That goes for the rest of us," Sohye adds. "And even if it was because of a giant rock, I'm glad we got to share one final moment together. All of us."
"Thank you girls," Mina mutters as she sobs into her members' arms. They share a warm hug that also makes you smile. You may not know these girls, but you can resonate with this shared bond. What a beautiful final sight of humanity.
But now there's the meteor, burning overhead. Not even Hollywood's best IMAX cameras can fully capture the scope of this beast. The air feels hotter; breathing is akin to inhaling in a closed room full of nitrogen and metal. It's descending faster than you can comprehend it.
You pull out your phone. Not to take a photo like any dumb influencer, but to play your song. The opening melody and harmony of Colors rings in the air, but everyone's too engrossed by the sheer scale of the asteroid to notice. It's borderline inaudible, almost drowned out by the whistle of the falling star above, but the lyrics are clear—that's all that matters.
You should be seeing your life flash before your eyes. Glimpses of your childhood and growing up, the inevitable fall out that led you to Korea and where you are now. None of that. Nothing really comes to mind, not even the girls that inspired this song. Just a preoccupied head more concerned about what's waiting on the other side than the end of all things.
Ahead of a small crowd gathered at the hill of Jeju's cliffs, you stand headfirst, facing the sun. The light becomes brighter by the second until it's blinding. You close your eyes—and smile.
The end.
—————
You wake to a shining light. This must be heaven—
Except you're still here. Still breathing. Staring the asteroid right in the face.
It's up there, several thousand feet in the sky, its presence almost swallowing the entirety of the cliff you're standing on, but it's not moving anymore. Sure, it leaves a massive trail of smoke in its wake, but any forward—or downward—momentum has been completely shunted.
Something is keeping the asteroid from falling. You look around and the others, too, are also suspended in frozen animation. Only you seem to be conscious and able to move around. But you don't go too far; you look up again and find the source holding it together: a small beam of light rising from the ocean, finding its way up to the hill. Purple, blue, white—it's every color of the spectrum all at once.
Instinctively, you close your eyes from its dazzling gleam. Its glare relaxes, even as bright and as colorful as it shines. Open them, and it's transformed into a ray punching into the asteroid's core. Still no source. And then—
They're right there. Facing the meteor. Surrounding you.
Hands raised to the sky, each one radiates the color associated with their youth, pouring their light into the asteroid, keeping it from falling any further. They're not real; this is all a figment of your imagination. The memories that were supposed to flash before you die. But no—they're actually pushing the planetoid back. They look exactly the way you or anyone last saw them: alive and in good spirits.
You can't speak. Your eyes remain wide, unable to maintain a gaze at any one of them. Sheer, utter disbelief. You want to hold out and feel them; you don't.
She finds the opportunity to glance at you. Beams.
"We've been waiting for you," Eunbi says, relaxing her arms, but still pouring her light into the beam. She shouldn't be here, but she's real. The voice, the frame—all clear to your senses. "I'm so happy we're still remembered like this."
"We've been waiting for the right time," Sakura clarifies, flicking her gaze at Chaewon. "And this is it."
Chaewon's eyes glance at the girls behind you, more specifically Yunjin, Kazuha, and Eunchae. "I'm so proud of what these girls have become. We're here. Always have been. Even when you couldn't see us, we were keeping track of everything. You remembered us. And we are so grateful."
Suddenly, the meteor groans, pushes down slightly. The girls wince, their faces straining as they're forced to lift their arms higher, exerting more effort than usual. It's a stalemate.
"We don't have a lot of time," Yujin states. "Well, we do. We can easily destroy this meteor, but we don't want to do it by ourselves."
"We want you to help us," Wonyoung adds. Her eyes tilt to the people behind you, encompassing the greater crowd, not just the ones still present. They land on Gaeul, Rei, Liz, and Leeseo, and she looks at each of them proudly. "All of you. The ones who still remembered. The ones who kept us alive."
They're not moving. Not at all. Their words confuse you at first, but you've seen stranger things.
"What do I have to do?" you ask, panicked and desperate.
"Lift your hands," Chaeyeon answers, tilting her head, smiling. "Your light. It's just as powerful as the rest of ours."
But there's nothing resembling light coming out.
"Are you sure?" You hesitate.
"We are!" Yena shouts exuberantly. She reaches out her hand. At the same time, they begin floating. "Now come on. We can do this. Together."
For a moment, you don't follow. Part of you thinks this is all just a weird afterlife dream. That you're seeing ghosts. Hope manifesting through some forgotten nostalgia. But her hand is still there, waiting for you to take that leap.
Ultimately, you take her hand. It's warm. Solid. She's real. They all are. And before you know it, you begin levitating off the ground too.
After only a few moments, Yena lets go; you don't fall. Rather, you're suspended in the air as they climb just a little higher, encircling right under the asteroid.
"Come on. Join us," Hitomi urges. There's no urgency, merely a kind call to action.
And just like the Apostle Peter, you struggle to find your footing. Not for lack of faith, but at the absurdity of it all: 12 ghosts making you face death like this. It feels like a rite of passage more than anything else. But you follow along, because a small fraction of you wants to believe.
Eventually, you catch up to their height. Several thousand feet in the sky. You're walking on air.
"Lend us your light," Hyewon prods. "It's been in you the entire time."
Their light is getting stronger; the collective beam is slowly pushing back the asteroid. The shadow overhead is shrinking down to the edge of the cliff. They can singlehandedly shatter this meteor; you're just there as a private audience.
But they still reach out to you. To make you feel that you belong.
"Be here," Minju chimes in.
"We need you," Nako pleads.
"Trust us," Yuri adds last. "We miss you too. All of you. But we're so thankful you brought them together when we couldn't."
The meteor is pushing down once more. They struggle to hold the beam together. The light is flickering.
"Come on. You've given us this," Eunbi pertains to the people below. Maybe more than that. The thousands, hundreds of thousands, even millions, who still remember them. "Now help us repay the favor. And as an apology for not saying goodbye properly."
After a moment's contemplation, you hold out your arms. Slowly, still hesitating. Faith is the one thing pushing you forward when all seems lost. As your hands match level with theirs, light begins to pour from your palms. Colorless at first, but when it joins the group's beam, it changes into every one of each member before the collective ray turns to a bright green. The meteor is being thrust upward again; more importantly, it's starting to crack at its center.
"It's breaking," Sakura remarks, her brows narrowing. "A little more. We can do this."
The beam continues to change colors, going through each member's signature over and over. The asteroid groans; it's being pierced through the core, now a few feet into being punched through. Hairline fractures spread throughout the massive body, the cracks being filled by the devouring light.
"It's falling apart," you say, in awe at what's happening. There's no way you'll explain any of this without being sent off to a psych ward or a therapist. Or maybe this is just one last fever soaked dream before you died. Can go either way.
Nevertheless, the possibility of a miracle spurs you on. So you push. Extend your arms higher, giving it all that you have. You want this more than even they do. You're fueled by love, loss, faith, fear, hope, desperation, sorrow, joy—everything in between. It powers your light too. The meteor begins glowing brightly.
"Almost," Yujin exclaims. "We're doing it! Just a little more—"
You don't know where this side of you came from, but you let out a roar that dissolves into background noise. As the world goes silent, you can feel the giant rock being crushed with your very hands. Down below, you can feel the earth tremble even from up in the sky. The girls are beginning to fade in and out too. The light has become as wide as the meteor itself—pure, distilled white hue.
The light overwhelms your senses. The asteroid is all but consumed. The last thing you hear before you reach the other side, faint and almost imperceptible, a shared voice:
"Thank you. For everything."
—————
Might as well face the music.
Here's the cold, hard truth: they were gone. They've been gone. As in, it's not April 29, 2021 because you have that date marked on the calendar like Christmas or any other holiday, nor was it anything like three years ago, when contract negotiations were public and messy and there was reason to believe one or two of them would walk away forever. They did, all of them, but not in the way you expect careers to end: sudden, tragic.
The thing about death is that it comes without warning. One minute, you have a bright future and rest of your life ahead of you, the next you're collapsing during a fashion event and it's all for nothing. That's exactly what happened to Wonyoung. She was the first to go, and you can't come to terms with the cruel irony of her fate: she was the center, and she died as the center of attention. Natural causes, the doctors and coroners said, a byproduct of being too young and too in demand. It shook the entire industry, called into question whether she had been overworked to the bone (she was). She never complained; she was the consummate worker who kept things professional. Part of you believes she regrets signing that extension, but you'll never know.
Unsurprisingly, they were never the same after. Yujin tried her best to hold them together, but a reckless drunk driver was feeling too egotistical to let go of the wheel on a lonely night, and she paid the price. She was holding a Cherry plush in remembrance of her at the crime scene, which made her untimely demise all the more heartbreaking. The rest of the girls—they haven't had a comeback since then. Shelved, and probably for the best.
It's only these two so far, but part of you hurts remembering. And then there's the rest:
Chaewon had this nagging neck injury after that one accursed move that initially sidelined her for months. One slip in their dorm and then she was gone. Sakura found her half an hour later and rushed her to the hospital to no avail. She blamed herself not being there to save her on time, and it'd come full circle: a sasaeng pulled a knife on Kazuha during one of their fanmeets and she stepped in to take what would have been a hit to the stomach. Likewise, she was hospitalized but it was too late: she had bled out. HYBE kept the girls, promising to support them, but they never did. They were sidelined in favor of their newer groups. Yunjin saw the light and was trying desperately to terminate their contracts, but nothing came of it.
Eunbi was trying something different; she wanted to be an action star. Naturally, there were stunt sequences, and unlike others who opted for doubles, she insisted on doing them herself. A wire malfunction caused her to fly 30 feet into the air and crash facefirst into one of the buildings used for the set. Pure negligence on the production team and coordinator's part; that wire was reportedly having issues but they were saving costs and filming time. Another life carelessly lost.
Hyewon's probably the one with the best outcome: she simply died of natural causes. She was found sound asleep in her apartment one day after watching anime the night before and never woke up. Too soon, everyone would say. Never had any underlying health issues that were publicly addressed, just someone who was never meant to stay here on this earth a long time.
Yena's past would come back to haunt her. Recurrence. She knew she was always on borrowed time, and while she would fight it at first, she recognized it was a losing battle. No wonder she gave it her all: every performance, every song, every time she talked, she spoke like it would be her last. And she shined brighter during her final moments than any other period.
Chaeyeon loved her sister. That's a given. But she loved her so much that she didn't hesitate to give up her heart for transplant. A shared, undiscovered hereditary disease meant both of them were essentially ticking timebombs, and she wanted to make sure her sister could live to see another day.
Hitomi loved her members. Took care of them as her own sisters and daughters. One rainy night, their van was speeding to the next schedule when it hydroplaned into a barrier on the highway. The car tumbled over and ended up upside down. She held onto the members as it crashed, and that's how they managed to survive. She was the only casualty of that accident.
Nako was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was deep in the pit of a music festival when the crowd began pressing in after some maniac brought in a gun and opened fire. Suffocated and passed out as she tried to find shelter from the chaos. A bullet did not kill her, but the commotion that caused it did.
Yuri got into one of the messiest relationships ever. After co-starring as one of the leads in a critically acclaimed drama, she ended up falling in love with her co-star. They became an instant power couple, further sparked by more successful projects. Then he was caught cheating on her with a younger actress, but he denied the allegations and even proposed to Yuri as a way to save face. After getting exposed a second time with a different actress, he ended up getting into this heated argument with Yuri while driving and struck another car that ended up totaling their vehicle, killing them both on the spot.
Minju became the dying ember of an era. She had been to every single one of her member's funerals, and with each appearance, people could tell it affected her greatly. She was losing weight, getting more and more wrinkly despite her age, and didn't appear in public as much. The stress and heartbreak of losing everyone she loved proved to be too much, and she eventually suffered her own heart attack not long after Yuri's passing. She felt that she shouldn't have to go alone, and so she followed her in the afterlife.
One by one, the lights flickered in and out until there was none. It had been almost two years since Minju, the last of their legacy, passed. Truly nothing was ever the same. The groups, the people closest to them, the fans who still remembered—it was impossible to move on. The fact that they all went in near quick succession is haunting to think about. Like death specifically wanted them all, because being apart wasn't an option. They had to be together. They were family.
This was the lie that kept you going. You deluded yourself into believing they were together somewhere. Just not here; up there. Living their best lives. They had been talking about it, too. In the months leading to their departure, after the dust settled and contracts were made flexible, rumblings began. It was the worst kept secret in the world. Even their members got in on the act. Their schedules were clearing up specifically to make an album and a tour happen. This was the closure you were finally waiting over a decade for.
And then it wasn't.
Everything else happened, and the dream was simply just that: a dream. While the world moved on and memories faded, you refused. The girls and the people they left behind couldn't. For them, it was more than losing an idol: it was losing a leader, a member, a sister, a friend. For you, it was your youth, your spark, a piece of your soul with every member's passing. And so it was. Little by little, you detached from the world until all twelve were gone. Truthfully, you died the same day Minju died; every day after was merely a corpse walking amongst the living, a puppet without its strings.
And as you float along the line between the living and the dead, you realize that there's more to this life than staying in the past. The future can be scary sometimes. Nostalgia brings comfort. But that doesn't mean you have to be consumed by it. Like Nako once said, even when they're apart, the fact they existed means they happened. That they will always come at the right time.
That was the closure you got, but never fully understood. Until now.
—————
You find yourself lying on the ground somehow.
The sun is still setting on the horizon. The evening breeze begins to settle. You scramble to your feet to see if the meteor is on its way down—and nothing. Just an orange sky giving way for starry night. But in its wake, sparkling dust as fine as snow slowly descends to the Earth, spreading throughout the sea and the cliffs where you stand.
It's beautiful.
The crowd looks just as confused as you are. People are holding out their hands, catching stray drops, glistening and glowing in their palm.
Eunchae is the first to vocalize it. "What—what just happened?"
No one speaks, initially. They're too in disbelief to make sense of anything. The closest explanation anyone has is from Leeseo, and even that sounds too farfetched: "It just—disintegrated. It was falling, we were all blinded by the light, and next thing you know, it was—gone."
A ripple of murmurs passes through the small congregation. Some say it actually dissolved upon entering the stratosphere. Others suggest the ocean swallowed it whole (but where's the massive hole in the earth's crust and why are the waters still there). You've got a few proclaiming divine intervention, doesn't matter which god. But you know the truth. What you saw felt the most real, because you experienced it up close and personal.
You just can't bring yourself to say it.
Because, first of all, you don't believe. Not fully. None of these people will, either, not even the girls. How can you explain articulately that the 12 ghosts you trauma bonded over appeared and helped you vaporize the asteroid on some anime bullshit. There's no plausible way to make your case without sounding like a deranged fan who needs a realty check.
None of that matters now. What's important is that you're here. Everyone is. Still breathing. Still alive.
Yunjin looks like she's on the verge of tears. She falls to her knees dramatically, the kind that's earned after an exhausting battle. "The world—"
She's overwhelmed with bliss and relief to finish her sentence. Can't find the words.
"It's still here," she manages. "We're still here."
The emotions from everyone else burst open. Laughter from the elderly, children's screams, hugs and sobs from friends, family, and lovers realizing they've been given a second chance at life and won't take it for granted again.
And sure, you have no one to grab in the moment. You're acquaintances at best. But you look up at the sky and find solace knowing you're never alone.
Minutes later, communications are restored. Everyone is celebrating. News channels and radio broadcasts return overjoyed, unable to contain themselves:
"The world as we know it, is well and truly safe—"
"Scientists are baffled—religious groups are calling for prayers of thanksgiving—"
"This is a story about the indomitable human spirit, says the Italian president—"
And the scenes. The absolute scenes around the world. People are breaking out into the streets hugging, crying, wreaking havoc out of sheer happiness. Bottles are popped. Flags are waved. Not in celebration for a city or a country, but for humanity as a whole.
Meanwhile, as night falls over Jeju, a massive campfire party is underway. The idols are singing like they've redebuted. Like they've found reason to perform again.
You can hear their shouts and laughs from the cliff's peak. You've stayed behind, still thinking about the dream. About them. If it really was indeed their doing. You haven't brought it up to anyone even once, never hinted at it, and probably never will. Only after you eventually face your maker, and then you will find out the answer.
But that's for one day. Someday, but not today.
Until then, you look up at the sky once more. The moon is out. Comets and meteorites are flying past. And high in the cosmos, 12 stars are shining brighter than the rest. Their time may have gone, but as long as they live in your memories and hearts, they will always exist.
With one hand you reach out, similar to the way you shattered the asteroid together. Nothing emanates from your palm, but the moon reflects its light down. It's the closest you'll get to feeling them. And through the dark, you hold out the photo with the other, still untouched by the elements. Proof that they're alive.
You hold it close. You can hear their voices echo in your head.
I will show you my colors.
And you can't help but smile.
"Hey." Someone’s calling out, so you turn around. It's Yunjin. "We're about to have dinner. Come on. Let's eat."
"I'll be there shortly," you say. She grins as she walks away.
As you follow her into a future that's bright and promising, the stars above twinkle. Shifting into their colors without anyone noticing, they disappear.
Forever written on the clouds.
————— (a/n: sorry this took long
originally, this was meant to be a secret "13th" day fic for iz*mas when i reposted the series on fanprose, but i didn't expect how lengthy this would end up being! I also wanted to do a disaster fic, heavily inspired by Armageddon and Deep Impact (you can tell i watched a bit of pointlesshub). if i hardly mentioned their names, it was a deliberate writing choice for the plot, but the twist feels kinda obvious tbh lol. i wanted their presence to permeate throughout the story but through the lens of different characters and what it would be like without them. not sure if they count as killing an idol since they do happen before the story starts, but i ended up explaining in gruesome detail how lol. something different before i embark on my most ambitious string of projects yet, thank you for reading! ♡)
—————
any snsd fics coming soon?
Sadly, no, I am currently working on a Wonyoung one and a Gawon one as well.
Who comes to mind for fucking for the presenter of an award?
Honestly Yoona. She has had some of the best outfits for award ceremonies.
Whodo you think from kiof would give the best blowjob?
Julie. Man, she has the best DSL out of all of them imo
What do you think of Somi domming Doyeon?
It would honestly be super hot. Watching the teaser really made it feel like Doyeon would be such a fun sub to mess around with and tease
If Jihyo were G!P, which non-TWICE idol would she pick to be locked in a room with and have a sex marathon?
Kim Sejeong
Lisa
Karina
Prism Hearts
In a world full of colours, his heart had none. What would happen when he meets someone who had infinitely more than none?
Check it out on Fanprose as well~
Prologue: Colourless
Chapter 1: The Ivory Estate
Chapter 2: Setting Off
Chapter 3: Goblin Bugbear
Chapter 4: Destroyed
salivating about her as we speak
Ah, I would like to read you write g!p Yujin x g!p Kazuha x g!p Yunjin having threesome.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind writing that at all!! I already showed Kazuha as g!p in one of my series, so let me come up with some ideas
can you another nasty fic with taeyeon yoona or mina
In your opinion, what is nasty?
Which G!P idols come to mind when you think of people who aren't as good in bed as they think they are?
Kazuha
Yunjin
Yujin




