Shit My Students Say

Currently working as a substitute teacher in South Western Ontario. This blog focuses mainly on quotes from students, but has some other stuff too.

[s--tmystudentssay]

When I try to teach a new warm-up game and the students don’t get it

[s--tmystudentssay]

When you’re out in public and see students

[s--tmystudentssay]

When you only teach mornings because you’re part-time so you can leave after lunch

Truthfully I would like to be full time, but if I’m going to be part time it is way better to work mornings and have afternoons off.

[s--tmystudentssay]

Walking over to students who are on their phones instead of working

[s--tmystudentssay]

When I actually get a job for the fall semester

[s--tmystudentssay]

When I give students a lab period, but they waste the entire period on Facebook

[s--tmystudentssay]

First day of school and I’m trying to bond with students in my Drama class

I’m all:

But they’re all like:

It’s Drama. This is what we do. We sit on the carpet and have circle time.

[marvelswiftt-deactivated2018062]

The end credit of the Avengers age of Ultron should be in the apartment where Thor’s hammer is laying on the glass table and the janitor (played by Stan lee in one of his cameos of course) walks in and lifts the hammer while whistling, wipes under it, and sets it back down.

[osointricate]

in a choice between

iron man 4

or

BLACK WIDOW

the answer is 

BLACK WIDOW

[randomthingsthatilike1]

What’s even worse is that RDJ would make the same choice

[ten-and-donna]

Explain how that is worse.

[harrypotterdailly]

[sheparrrds]

she’s cheer captain aND I’M JAVERT

[pkingblog]

[s--tmystudentssay]

Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.

Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are paedophiles.

Guy: Well...yeah.

Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

[seshrat]

unless your teachers are abusive assholes there is no fucking reason to disrespect them

they are literally trying their hardest to get you an education

teachers have every right to complain about rude students or the amount of papers they have to grade because their salary is low as shit

oh wow, your math teacher yelled at you because you were ignoring the lesson and talking to your friend

i wonder why

jesus christ teachers have it hard enough dont be an asshole

[s--tmystudentssay]

THIS.

I work my ass off as a teacher. I don't have a guaranteed job after the last day of school this year either. I make myself available every lunch hour to my students and I'm willing to stay after school for extra help if I'm not coaching/running the extra leadership program. Do not sit their on your goddamn phone when I'm trying to explain shit to you or when I give you time to work in class. Don't bitch about how much work you have when I gave your multiple work periods in the computer lab but you spent the whole time on facebook.

And seriously? When you're an asshole to the substitute teacher? Grow up.

[s--tmystudentssay]

Eat that pussy like pizza!

One of the girls on the bus to the soccer game. She screamed it. Idek.

[s--tmystudentssay]

Random Student: Hey I'm in this class now.

Me: Well you're just in time we have a test today.

Random Student: BYE!

[s--tmystudentssay]

Me: Why does the photocopier have a stapler function, but it never has any staples.

Other Teacher: Well, they bought these copiers because the ink was cheaper, but then they found out they only take a certain style of staples that are super expensive.

Me: ...what.

Other Teacher: The put staples in during exams though.

Me: This is the same school that hasn't given me a stapler, scissors or anything for my classroom. Wtf.