～汐見琴音 @s0ulphr4se - Tumblr Blog

-slides in & waves-

#愛ーooc #been that long huh

🤓

Shido's confession on television is still fresh on her mind. From her confidence and faith in herself, in the justice she once buried into the depths of her heart to the spectacular fall of her realizing just how small she truly is in the face of this corrupt system. Having tacit accusations as to her affiliation with the Phantom Thieves by her superior only carved a piece of her heart out; this fall of hers being far more spectacular than any other failures she's endured — it was a fall from grace far harder, far crueler than anything else.

Whilst the instinct is to avoid people around her at all costs — after all, would they laugh at her failing to do the right thing? Would they admonish her for falling back into her childish ideals? Sae doesn't know and she doesn't want to know... but she's made a promise and she's had days off after being forced into taking a break by those meddlesome, corrupt members of the prosecutor's office.

This, is just another day. Another day she decides to see Kotone and focus on the other. She hadn't told her about the pseudo-dismissal from her job — perhaps, it would amuse the wildcard to hear how they mockingly suggested that she should go find a husband on her break. How can she breach this topic now? Her gaze, despite tracking Kotone's movements and her mind, despite trying its hardest can't stop fixating on how Shido could get away with everything he's confessed to doing on live television.

And... I love you.

Her focus snaps away from the case that should've been and back towards Kotone's voice. Every word makes her chest tighten, her heart aching at the thoughts that's racing through her mind. She doesn't understand. She can't understand. But, Sae manages to offer a wry smile on her lips despite all the worrisome thoughts that courses through her mind.

Right now, she should be focussing on Kotone.

❝ I'm... I'm sorry for hurting you and... for everything I've done. ❞ These words never feel like they're enough. The guilt in her chest feeling almost insurmountable; it's an enormity of the feelings that tug at her — it's the love she's finally allowed herself to acknowledge, the guilt that's washed over her in tenfold since the night of her revelation. The placating smile on her lips falter, her lips quivering slightly. ❝ I... I can't promise I won't ever hurt you again because that would be a lie. But, I can promise that you'll always have me... for as long as you want. And, if it's any consolation... so am I. ❞

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #oh shes goin thru it #what could this EVER mean

Someone was lost in their own world, it seemed. An air of amusement came about from the younger woman - it was felt almost cruel to want to laugh after all she said. Then again, weeks prior it would have been impossible to imagine the current situation they were in. At the same time, Kotone knew that Sae was practically drowning in so many thoughts that if she didn't take the time and effort to fish her out of them she would never leave.

With each step that moves towards her (only) mode of transportation for the next few weeks, she gives a soft look towards Sae - the myriad emotions stirring within her coming to a resounding pause. There were more important things to worry about. Never mind the beating her mind was taking from the insecurities.

"It's Christmas in a week, and New Year's in two. Why don't you take a break with me? We can have Christmas just like we did all those years ago. Then, on New Year's, instead of writhing in despair because of Ryoji we can have some whiskey and vodka," she says as the Universe is hovers by her wheelchair.

Taking a deep breath, she lowers herself - the pain surging through as her muscles work overtime to regain themselves. It was a long, arduous process after all. Not the first time she's gone through this. She just wishes that for once in her life, everything could work as they were. No persona bullshit. Just normal, functioning legs.

It was difficult to reconcile. When she was younger she used sports as her preferred mode of stress relief. It was who she was. What she was good at! Then to have it all slowly taken away from her... First, it was her legs - they weren't as fast as they were. Then, her arms. Then, her eyesight. Who knows what else would fail in the future? It scared her. She would be a hassle to Sae. That would be a reason she could never be loved.

...

"I know you have work, but... we can always figure something out. Let's try to be happy for once. Plus, I... would love to have a nice quiet night with you. Like old times, right?"

Grasping at the wisps of the past was all she was good at.

"I'm sorry, I'm not good company right now either. My mind is jumbled and I just... I'm trying to be normal. This happened last time. It took me weeks for my brain to stop acting so foggy. Though, maybe there isn't a difference," she mutters a sardonic laugh. "Let's just... go home. Maybe we can get tea on the way."

The what now? Huh?

There's no doubt about the confusion that is evident on her face. Perhaps, it should've been evident as to what MItsuru was referring to given how perceptive Sae generally is. Yet, it's the sleep deprivation that causes her brain to buffer, struggling to process the information until it finally registers. Niichome. Then, it's a widened eye of recognition — the vices she indulged in, the band-aids she used as an attempt to salve the wound that penetrated beneath the skin. So that's the moniker they've given her.

Sounds like she's got some explaining to do... later. It's meant for Kotone's ears only... despite her shadow already confessed a lot in what she could only describe as crass. Maybe it's guilt that she feels — towards Kotone, towards those women she's used. In the past, the prosecutor never gave it a second thought — she's communicated her intent clearly, she's made it a point to never linger after she's felt a modicum of relief. To her, it was a vice akin to smoking a cigarette or inhaling the saccharine vapours of her vape pen... which she could really use right about now. But now? Her chest tightens ever so slightly, her stomach churns— sometimes, she was standoffish towards those women to the point of frigidity.

When she feels a light touch against her, Sae's instinct is to tense almost as if she wanted to jerk away. But then, it only takes a beat for her to recognize that it's Kotone. Always a source of comfort, always a source of warmth. A wry laugh escapes her lips at how ridiculous everything's been since Joker's interrogation. Slowly, she relaxes into the hand on top of her own.

❝ It'd be remiss of me to not point out the fact that she isn't the only person with that colour hair — in fact, it's rather common. I would know, seeing that I'm an expert in the subject matter apparently. ❞ The lawyer in her just had to quip, had to make a retort. ❝ But seeing that my shadow did bare it all in front of an audience, I'm in no position to deny it. That being said, going forward I will do whatever it takes to not only make amends but also create a better future. This is my vow. ❞

There's no obligations for her to promise the other people around her. In fact, realistically, she isn't even obligated to explain anything to them except for Kotone. Her eyes meet Yukari's, allowing a lingering stare in the face of the other's ire. She's faced worse before, a protective friend is hardly the problem here. Then, a knowing look at Mitsuru — the only one aside from those directly involved with the operation back at her palace that knows about Sae's involvement with helping Akira Kurusu escape certain death.

❝ And of course, I'd expect no less from all of you to hold me to my word. ❞ She smiles faintly. ❝ I know it's inconvenient for some of you to get here, so I can step out for a cigarette while all of you catch up. ❞

And also for her to clear her head.

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #: )

Graciously, the other members seem to let her pass. Their primary concern at the moment was seeing Kotone - dealing with Sae could wait until they were better acclimated with the current situation. Kotone, on her part, was more than happy to see her friends after her brief stint resting in the aetherial sea. It felt like home for once. But why did they almost always get together if something bad happens? It was both a blessing & a curse. Thoughts to ruminate on in the dead of night. Not ones to be in her mind while the people who love her the most come around her. With as best of a smile as she can muster, she warmly welcomes her family back home.

The weeks following her awakening were almost as brutal as the first time she's done this. Not something she would quite recommend. The worst part about it this time was that her legs weren't quite the same as they were when she first woke up. It was like her heart was being crushed by the weight of the journey ahead. As happy as she was that her life was finally being rebuilt, the sheer pain she was experiencing magnified almost twice as much. In a way, it might pass. But what if it doesn't? What if everything she has built herself on was a lie? Where does Kotone Shiomi begin & end?

Why couldn't she just be happy?

Turn those thoughts off. They aren't good. Just... push them down. They'll leave eventually.

Taking in a deep breath, her eyes roam the place she currently stands in. The Kirijo building's own clinic specially design for persona users. Specially designed for her. Her arms rest on the handlebars to her sides while her eyes wander the familiar space. It's where she was years ago following her quote-en-quote resurrection. The sterile air felt oppressing, a clear contrast to the window that gave a skyline view of Tokyo. On the other end was another clear window used for observation.

The wild card remembers the days when the members used to pop by and cheer her on. Her one solace in pushing herself back into someone that could resemble 'Kotone'. Her mind always meandered to certain questions such as; how much has the seal taken from her? Would it be fair to say that Kotone was the same woman before the seal was manifested? Was her soul tattered? It was difficult to say, especially that blue FUCK didn't tell her anything besides things have consequences. Shaking her head, her teeth grind. She needed to push through the pain. Something formerly intangible to her is suddenly within reach. Someone behind that glass window.

"When I was here the first time... It kinda sucked ass," Kotone chimes up, her palms clasping tight onto the steel bars. "It was like being a baby all over again. It was like fighting gravity, you know?" then one, two, three steps forward. Slow & steady, all in tune with the rhythm she knows. "It hurts. I just... want the pain to go away. It's selfish of me to say, but it's true."

Her words are somber, but there seems to be a smile practically pulling itself together.

"And... I love you. At the very least you're like the one thing in my life that makes things feel real. That makes it worth living. You've hurt me. I know. But... I can't stop loving you. You're like a drug to me. Just... I don't want to be hurt by you like that again. God, I'm spouting random bullshit. I'm trying to stay intact, but I'm really just a mess. I'm saying I love you then after I..."

An audible groan reverberates through the clinic as finally she reaches the end - now guided back to her wheelchair towards the observation room.

"I'm scared of a lot of things. Can... can... well, please don't be one of them? I'm finally admitting that I'm scared. Just to you. I'm scared, Sae. I love you too much."

In love. Two simple words that she never once thought she would be capable of being; it's a strange feeling, it truly is. From the belief when she was much younger that the matters of the heart simply does not concern her— where others found the solace in a lover, Sae found it in her ambitions. Then came Kotone, who just had to be so damn intriguing to a young Sae Niijima.

She can't help but to steal another kiss. Despite her usually articulate nature, she has no words— only affection she's been denying herself of for all these years. It's like the floodgate that once contained all that finally had its locked eroded, rusted and now comes the outpour of feelings, emotions, and dreams.

❝ Me too. I'm... I love you —❞ Her sentence abruptly cuts off when the sound of the door opening alerts her. Sae jolts, evidently startled and instinctively pulls away, as if a string pulled taut she sits straight, her eyes looking over at the myriad of people pouring in.

Oh... This isn't good. She could feel the heat rise against the apples of her cheeks, every nerve is on fire— she's supposed to be the responsible one and called at the first sign of wakefulness. Yet, she forgot... well, she decided to put it on a backburner until she's gotten her fill of alone time. Using every ounce of willpower she has, she attempts to keep the blush on her cheeks from darkening— but there's only so much she can do when she isn't actively ignoring how she feels and right now, she wants to dig a hole and crawl into it.

A hand drags down her face when Kotone speaks. There's no room for deniability now. Though, maybe that isn't the worst thing. Still, she wishes she had more prepared— wishes she was more put together instead of looking as if she's pulled another all-nighter trying to find classified information relating to Shido and his network. Sae Niijima's seen better days, that's for sure.

All eyes are on her now. Perhaps, she should channel that powerhouse that she is in the courthouse— the one who can speak against scrutiny, against objections, the one who can stand on her own... not the messy, incoherent school girl that Kotone rendered her into.

So, she clears her throat and offers a cordial smile.

❝ Kirijo. The explanation is rather simple— Kotone had just woke up not too long ago and she made a couple requests. I have simply obliged. In fact, I was just about to contact everyone. ❞ She makes a show of looking at the watch on her wrist, as if to set up a precedent for her graceful exit from... this. Work is always an easy cop out, despite the fact that the director's been trying to coax her into taking a leave since November 19th.

But, a part of her doesn't want to leave. Not when there's that sweet serotonin hit of I love yous, and the pure euphoria of hope— perhaps, she'll stay just a while longer despite her legs growing restless and wanting to leave.

❝ Apologies for not calling right away. ❞

Seeing the look on everyone's faces was magical. In a way this was a form of comeuppance against her beloved. Watching Sae's palm slowly fall down her face was something so hilarious she would have laughed if she could. Instead, she knows her family would be a fair conduit. Yukari moves slightly to the left, blocking out any way for the lawyer to escape. She was pinned. Of course, how could Kotone miss that amazing scowl on her face. The wild card makes a mental note to thank Yukari when she can.

Mitsuru moves forward, the smallest grin creeping up on her face as she looks at her swiftly beeping monitor. Kotone can only supplement the amusement the operatives were feeling, weakly waving the hand that once held the other's. She would push to make every second of amazingly worth it. The heiress gives a soft laugh, the stress from earlier melting away.

"Well, it seems we were misled. Instead of calling us verbally, she decided to use Kotone's heart monitor as a beacon," her eyebrow raises, her grin now plain to see. "I see you're trying to mark your territory. I can scarce believe the 'Menace of Niichome' is trying to settle down."

This was new information. With all her strength, she slowly turns her head towards the prosecutor in question. What 'Menace of Niichome' nonsense was happening? Was Sae secretly some yakuza agent? No! She knows someone with ties to them, but certainly not someone FROM the yakuza. Maybe that was why her shadow had a tattoo on her back? She had to ask about that. Maybe she was living an entire double life.

Alas, she is shut out from her thoughts when Yukari opens her mouth. Now this was going to be rich. It's almost as if there's an aura of vindication. In a way, it felt accepting but threatening. Girls like her were truly terrifying...

"That's right, Niijima-san. When we go out every so often we hear about the 'Menace of Niichome'. Soooo many women heartbroken because of a grey-haired woman. You know what the funny part is?"

Oh my god. Was she going to -

"They all had red or reaaaaally light brown hair. Aigis, do we know anyone with that kind of hair?"

"Kotone."

"Exaaaaaaaactly."

Of course, she already knew this! Sae's shadow laid it all bare. Yet, with the others ganging up on her, she can't help but give a soft laugh. She's really been living under a rock for all these years if she wasn't even able to figure out who the rumoured menace was. If they were dogging on Sae, maybe she should join in on the acttion.

"Aigis... what... did... her... shadow say again?" Kotone pipes up, her voice still rough from the lack of use. "Only... summary."

"Well, I do remember how she was saying how she wanted you to be her 'concubine'. Also, she was basically obsessed with you for all these years too. Aaaaalso, her shadow was hitting on you," the android merely shrugs, a fake smile shone straight towards the Niijima.

The reply elicits a gasp from the men, most especially Ken. The look on Ken's face could be described as scandalized. It was that or being traumatised for life. Oops. He'll get over it eventually when he finds a girlfriend or a boyfriend!

"Sae-san! I didn't know you were freaky like that! What the hell!" Junpei hollers from the back, his hands resting on his cheeks just like the cover of Home Alone. Akihiko nods in agreement, but also begins to speak up as he does so. "I guess this is another form of training..? Not sure how it works, but what the hell."

Kotone can only keep smiling, reaching out towards Sae's hand to placate her continuously bruised ego. It's okay. The past has already happened. They had a new tomorrow to make together.

"There... there..." she peeps in her best soothing tone.

Out of Kotone's field of view, Yukari silently mouths to Sae. "They won't find the body if you hurt her again."

❝ I'll do everything in my power to, ❞ she smiles soft, her own intertwined fingers grasp onto the other's. Sae gently offers a reassuring squeeze, cautious with her touch. ❝ I promise. I'll do everything I can to make it up to you. ❞

Sae Niijima always avoided making promises because of the weight of them. Always terrified of her innate inability to fulfill them, to meet expectations, she simply elected to never make them — not to Kotone when they were young school girls, not to Makoto, and not to her father before she last saw him on his deathbed. Yet, it's the innate expectation of perfection from herself that sabotaged the good things in her life — it's so obvious, yet, she's spent her entire life mired in this headspace and couldn't see the path beyond it. The promises she's been averse to are what tie people together — it's not the act of fulfilling it, but the act of doing everything one can to stay true to it.

It was that way with her mom and dad. Her memories of then are murky but she remembered every anniversary her father would take the day off and cook dinner, then give a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Sae can barely remember her face but she will never forget the warmth of having both of them there. She gets it now, or so Sae like to think she does.

It's the sound of the rapidly beeping machine that takes her out of her train of thought. There's a rosiness on Kotone's cheeks that she hadn't seen in a long time. Perhaps, it's a tad inappropriate but Sae lets out a quiet chortle nevertheless at the situation. This is so cliched... like one of those Hollywood romance films. She really shouldn't laugh — especially considering how Kotone barely came back from the brink of death. Yet, there's something comical — no, adorable... perhaps, rather... precious about this.

Nevertheless, she obliges and finds the pair of spectacles. Cautiously, she unfolds them, placing them on the other. There's no protesting this time just her careful fingers gingerly brushing away the stray strands of hair. Hand cupping the other's jaw, Sae allows herself to close her eyes before leaning in. Sae's kissed many people over the years — but never like this. Never with a tenderness or anticipation like she does when hers greet the other's lips. It feels like coming home, she thinks. It's short, it's one laced with feeling... and it's a lingering promise; one that foreshadows a future where there's more to come.

❝ Mhm. Anything else? ❞ She inquires softly, her forehead pressing against Kotone's. The memo of calling the rest of their friends is filed in the back of her mind. She'll do it, just not right now. ❝ Just say the word. ❞

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #theyre sickeningly gay ugh

A weight of finality and security finally blanketed the incapacitated Universe. Years later, it finally happened. All the tears, the pain, the heartache... It all led up to this moment. There wasn't any feeling that could replicate the bloom in her heart right now. A faint dust of pink brushes her sun-kissed cheeks, a gaze of pure adoration. Love was such a fickle thing - so transcendent in its highest, and an anchor at the lowest. Worldly objects could scarce describe the heartfelt emotions was now experiencing.

The kiss they share tastes of the first breath of spring. The breeze is calm & gentle, and the atmosphere light. Despite the sterile aura of the room, the feeling was oh-so light. 'Twas like if Orpheus never looked back for Eurydice and they found content in the rest of their lives together. A one in a million chance.

With her glasses finally set on her, she can properly see the other for once. No longer could she see the scowl on the prosecutor's face. It was messy, sure. But it was so so soft. This was the face she fantasized seeing one day when she lay alone in her college dorms. These were moments once thought to be a mere delusion. Her hand grips as tightly as it can - which was probably the force of a fish out of water. She had to make sure this wasn't a dream.

"Real... This... is real..?" she questions, the tears beginning to poll in her eyes. No longer were her wants relegated to thoughts she pushed to the back of her head to focus on the task she was doing. For the first time in such a long long time, things were working out for her. If only her body felt the same - but one step at a time.

One day, she hopes to share a domestic life. Something that they can call uniquely theirs despite the twists and turns of the lives they have led to move towards this moment. Her body grows warm, the tire of waking up recently still within. While today she might not be able to share in everything, one day she will.

"I'm... I'm so... in love," Kotone smiles.

Before her thoughts could continue, the door to her room busts wide open - a red-haired woman in a fur coat dashing in only to find the pair. Her eyes dart from Kotone, then to Sae. Her mouth opens for a brief moment, but it shuts almost as soon as it's open. Her lips purse, a signal that she doesn't quite know how to process this situation.

Shortly after, people slowly begin to pile into the room. From one white-haired boxer, to a pink-clad actress, to a genius hacker, baseball coach, android, and a high schooler. While her room was spacious, it was by no means large enough to host the amount of people in it. They all looked out of breath, visible drops of sweat on their foreheads.

Before anyone can utter a word, the wildcard takes initiative. They've been without her for weeks! That signature charm of hers needs to be given regularly!

"Do... you guys... want a kiss too?" she weakly giggles, wriggling her eyebrows towards the lawyer as she does so.

The room falls silent. All eyes move towards the prosecutor in question.

"Niijima, care to explain?" the heiress finally speaks up, arms crossed - amusement on her face.

This girl. This foolish, foolish girl.

Still loving Sae after all these years, after everything she's said and done... she doesn't deserve this grace. In her heart, Sae is acutely aware of the hurt she's caused, the pain she's induced in the other — but would it be truly selfish for her to simply accept this truth? Perhaps, love is... inexplicable, ineffable — perhaps, there are no rational explanation for why the heart does what it does; perhaps, this is why Sae Niijima spent so many years ignoring it, stonewalling it.

Tentatively she reaches her hand out, gently holding one of Kotone's hands. Her thumb strokes the back of her hand, the first genuine smile one her lips in years. It's been so long... she can't remember the last time she felt something as real as this.

❝ You just woke up. You don't have to exhaust more energy than necessary. ❞ Her eyes soften — it's equal parts guilt and adoration that's mirrored in the carnelian irises. The disembodied, hazy memories of what her shadow said can't escape her mind. It along with the investigation into Shido were the only two things that occupied her mind. Is that who she's become? Another corrupt individual abusing whatever authority she has?

❝ We can speak more at a later time... when you've recovered some more. ❞ An anticipatory breath is sucked in. Ideally, she would save these topics for a later date. But, some things feel urgent and desperate to leave her lips. ❝ We can talk more about this when you're feeling better but I just want to say... I'm sorry — for everything I've said and done. I can't imagine the pain I've caused you. I'm... not expecting you to forgive me. I just... have to say all this to you first. ❞

Pulse beats between her ears, thudding against her eardrum and drowning out any sound except her own words. Knowing how the past few years of her life had been, it wouldn't surprise her to realize that she's a step too late... a few years too late. But, this redemption, this penance isn't for Kotone but for the girl that Sae once buried with her own corroded hands. It's justice for the people she's harmed since donning that prosecutor's badge too. It's time she came clean.

❝ I...❞ Her thumb pauses that motion, her body tenses briefly. It's what she owes. It's what Kotone deserves. The truth, her ... feelings. Even if it means letting herself bare it all for the other to see. ❝ For what it's worth... I do love you. I always had but... I was too scared to accept it. I think a part of me always knew. I'm sorry that I'm so late. ❞

There. It's out there in the open now. That one secret that her shadow used as a weapon, that feeling she's spent years burying and denying can no longer be weaponized by anyone... including herself. Aletheia is a cruel persona for having her recall everything and yet, what's the truth without the whole picture? She's wrestling with every urge to get up and leave despite her instincts wanting to do so... just as she did when she realized the callous words she said to Makoto, just as she did that night months ago. Instead, she stays and... the anticipation is killing her.

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #GAYS I LOVE EM

Each word that the prosecutor says to her makes her heart race a little faster - the monitor attached to her beeping erratically as each sentence flows into her ears. It was almost like the climax of a symphony. How long has she waited to hear such melodic words from such a monotonous woman? These are feelings she has long known to be true. The length of such emotions bordered on insanity sometimes - the inexplicable strike of the heart to fixate on certain people.

Digits intertwine with Sae's, near powerless fingers curling into it as best as possible. This was much different from the feelings they once shared. No longer was it a question of what-if. It was more like how their feelings would culminate. Kotone's brain struggles to keep up, but somehow - it manages. It was always a peculiar thing to pick at, the perceptiveness to her emotions. Though, she does not disregard the pain it has caused. No. Never. It has probably made her stronger more than anything. A more determined woman.

"I... do..." Kotone breathes out, eyes softening. "Forgive. But..." her lips crack into as best of a smile she can. After all, she was not one to be bastardised thrice in a row. This time, things would be on her terms. "You'll... make it... up to me. Eeeeeeverythiiiiing," each word has a more enunciated tone than then last. The wild card knows that the lawyer would try this time - to what extent she has yet to find. But to have her blurry silhouette be the first thing she sees once she opens her ruined eyes is a welcome change. Better than the last time, at least.

The swift beep of the monitor continues, a pink tint on her autumn leaf-skin, slightly pale. How could anyone describe the feeling she has right now? It was otherworldly. Ethereal. Something right out of a fairy tale. As her strength slowly returns, she tilts her head upwards. "Glasses," she requests, if only to see the reaction Sae is having. "Kiss," another request - thinly veiled demand. She has shattered glass floors time & time again. This would be no different.

For the briefest of moments, it seemed that reality won. Yet, in such a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey way it works out. Not through magic, nor through circumstance, but pure will. It gave her something to cling onto. Her simply surviving everyday has transcended into another will to live after so long. That maybe the world didn't hate her. That in this game of gods, she was not just a pawn - but a player. But no, that was another discussion.

"Kiss."

Huh?

At first, her eyes simply blink in confusion at the unforeseen response to a question she thought was only left there to fade away into the echoes of the room. Then, carnelian eyes widen, an audible gasp escaping her lips. It's the realization of the truth before her eyes, the familiar warmth of a voice that she hadn't heard in years... a voice that no doubt, still rouses that heart of hers.

Her heart stirs. It's borderline tachycardic. It skips a beat. There's a swirling storm inside her —her emotions a mess, her rational mind not knowing how to output the excessive input of feelings that stirs within herself.

Sae Niijima thought about this scenario many times. Some, were in her dreams at night when she would watch the other awake. Most, felt near cinematic... too cinematic to be considered realistic. Yet, she's thought of all the ways of what her first words to Kotone would be — sometimes, she leaned towards the gentle, tenderness of a greeting; other times, she visioned a slightly melodramatic overflow of emotions ... tears, other times she thought of the tears that would inevitably escape her ( at least, her subconscious brain did ).

And yet...

❝ Oh my god. Y-You're... You're— ❞ as if the words she's thought about countless times vanished into the the air, she finds herself fumbling over her words as if she's a bumbling school girl. Ironic, isn't it? A lawyer like herself being at a loss for words.

Using the opportunity to close her laptop and putting it away into the bag she used to carry it in order to compose herself, Sae finds her eyes unable to move away from the sight before her.

This is real. This is real.

❝ Hey, sleepyhead. You're awake. ❞ Her voice soft, gentle, and measured. There's a soft smile that slowly tugs on the corners of her lips as she shifts the seat closer to the other's bedside.

Somehow, she manages to restrain herself from touching the other — after all, she doesn't even know if Kotone wants her here. That, is a topic for days when she's recovered... should she want that conversation. For now, Sae will remain at her side until otherwise. She should probably call the others.

❝ Anything I can do for you? Do you want me to call everyone? ❞

She can't exactly see right now, but it didn't take a genius to know who was right beside her. The blur held a familiar figure - grey hair with a matching ensemble on her suit to boot. Her facial muscles struggle to move, but they do so for her. The corners of her lips subtly curve upwards, a soft purr leaving their throat.

For years Kotone wondered what life would have been like if the first person to see her when she woke up was Sae. Maybe their lives would have turned out in a much more positive way where they would be able to walk through their issues together. Maybe it would be one where a domestic way of living would be the norm instead of the constant chaos they found themselves in.

Now, she would finally have a chance to see that future - nearly half a decade later. They certainly took the long route to get here. Yet, she wouldn't quite push away what she has right now. It wasn't perfect, but it was theirs. For the first time in a long time, Kotone had something so tangible to her. It was like letting a breath out after holding it in for so long.

Of course, the Universe had a promise to keep. It was something she knew she had to say before anything else. Come what may, this needed to happen. Alea iacta est. With what she has in mind, she knows that life would change for the two of them forever for the better. That was one thing she was confident of.

"Stupid..." she weakly retorts, rolling her eyes. The warmth in her tone contradicts the biting remark. "I... I... love you... I... I pro... promised you..." each word is a struggle, but she knows that this was her chance to lay it all bare. "Happy... As... long... as you're... happy," she finishes - her energy near spent pushing each word out.

"My... Sae..." her lips are unable to morph into anything but a smile. Once again, she can breathe. The only space she wishes to occupy is with Sae at the moment. The first moment they have alone in years, no matter the circumstances, was one to treasure. "Gorgeous."

In the space that they alone occupy, the words she has wished to say have been let out. That despite all the years, all the pain, her feelings haven't changed. The first girl to ever understand her. The first one to pierce through the diamond-clad defenses she held. It might be foolish to think that years later she would feel this way, but she couldn't help it. She was hopelessly in love with Sae Niijima.

As expected, the next day the death of the Phantom Thieves' leader was announced across all the broadcasting networks. The reports are so painfully falsified, that Sae couldn't help but to scoff — this was the jail that she found herself shackled in, now, she could see clearly. No matter what she did back then, the outcome would've been the same — she was a lamb to the slaughter either way.

Funny how the very people she once thought were the filth of society are now the ones she is cooperating with. Perhaps, in a way, it's her way of atoning for her sins — in her position, ignorance is a crime. To be ignorant is to tacitly approve of the underhanded nature of this institution.

That veil that once hid her disdain towards the system lifted. Now, all she sees is the corrosion she too, was apart of spreading. Perhaps, the tinted glasses are what helped her survive throughout the years — she doesn't want to be here any longer, but first she must fulfil her promise. It is a vow that she made to both herself and to the boy she risked everything rescuing — take down whoever is the puppet master behind Akechi and ensure Akira's justice is brought to light.

——

Over the past two weeks since the events of her palace, she's found herself revisiting the past. Perhaps, it's the lull in her work schedule — it's definitely no coincidence, given that Shido's influence seemed to be endless. He's infiltrated every possible branch of society, embedded himself like a parasite siphoning off of the last bit of resources the people had to offer.

Strangely enough, she's started to rekindle the relationships she once had in her youth. The bonds she once cherished but pushed away because she loathed the idea of being the one relying on others... after all, so many once called her a pillar — a calming presence, as if Sae being present is enough to soothe.

Never once did she share about her true feelings about her family. Never once did she speak ill of her working father. Perhaps, if she allowed herself to reach out her hands to others... then she wouldn't've become what she became.

From the terse atmosphere that conjured itself from the moment Yukari Takeba and Sae Niijima were found in the same room, to the old familiar feeling of chatting with Akihiko and Mitsuru, and of course, the ever entertaining Junpei... it's nostalgic.

And Ken... he's grown so much.

He reminds her of Akechi.

Akechi.

——

It's another visitation. Makoto's been occupied with the operation of infiltrating Shido's palace... and Sae's been busy gathering external intel on the politician. Yet, it's been frustrating. Her laptop placed on a surface top, the sound of the machines becoming effectively background noise for her at this point.

On a practical standpoint, this place, thanks to Yamagishi, she could try to access information without the paranoia of being tracked. Naturally, Sae is cautious but knowing that the likelihood of her movements being traced back to her by her higherups is close to nil, it does soothe her oddly. But, despite the seemingly unfettered access, the information she does glean are heavily redacted.

Once again, it appears another roadblock.

This time, her stubborn determination isn't out of the desire for a promotion or anything of that sorts but rather to see this scum of a human be punished for all his crimes... and all the deaths associated with him. To think that she too, was once but another puppet underneath him disgusted her. This is revenge, this is vengeance for those who could not speak — for those who were falsely accused of crimes they committed. This will be her last act as prosecutor, that she vows.

Briefly, her eyes lift from her screen and glances over at the other woman who's been there motionless for what seems to be forever. A part of her feels guilty that she's brought her work here instead of sitting there, and watching over Kotone's every movement (or rather, lack thereof) like a dutiful spouse and report the minute a change is spotted.

Yet, that isn't who she is.

...surely, she wouldn't mind if Sae is following her heart, right?

❝ There's a journalist — she frequents Crossroads. I've seen her there perhaps in passing. I'm... I'm just tired. Shido's have eyes and ears everywhere — and I just... was doing the right thing always this hard? It didn't used to feel that way... am I — am I doing the right thing, Koto? ❞

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #HAROLD THEYRE BACK

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Elysium floats above the wild card, a gentle smile on her face. Well, their face. Admittedly, her persona's face felt so... perfect. Perhaps it was a representative of the woman she used to be. Someone she hopes to be once again, but she knows that will never happen. She is the culmination of everything that has happened to her.

"It's almost time. You have a whole world waiting for you, Kotone."

Was it strange? Strange to feel so... terrified of tomorrow? To wake up from the comfortable dream she was in? In a way, the perfect dream would be the best way to live out the rest of her life. No more pain, no more suffering. She would not have to deal with the mania she finds herself in everyday. The pain in her joints would fade, her eyesight would find itself back.

"I'm scared," she manages to croak, a look of sadness painting over her face.

"We're always scared of things we don't know. But that is what makes you human. It's one things the gods will never be able to know. That anticipation. The beauty of life in its joy and horrors. We sleep to have a break, but inevitably we find our way back to reality."

"It doesn't make it any less scary, you know," a wry laugh follows, a sigh after. "Is this your way of saying that the gods don't have any jurisdiction over us anymore? Over me? What about the seal?"

"Safe & sound until the end of our life, my dear Kotone. Besides, you have a promise to fulfill," her younger self giggles, a wink following. "One that lasts your lifetime, right?"

Kotone's eyes widen, her memories slowly piecing themselves back together. Her recollection of the events that led her to her rest now murky to her, only bits and pieces came to. All she knows is that this was a promise she couldn't afford to break. Giving one last smile to Elysium, she shuts her eyes as she swims against the current.

A rhythmic beep stirs her from her rest. She doesn't remember having an alarm clock by her bed? Sounds like a special kind of hell for her to wake up on time. She was never really an early riser, but that damn beep...

Okay, now it was really starting to get on her nerves!

She tries to open her eyes, but an unbearable weight feels like it’s been placed on them. They have never felt so heavy before. Not to mention that for the first time in a long time, she can feel like she’s on something. Touching something. Feeling something. It was unnatural, to say the least. Especially after floating along for so long. There was an incessant ache biting at the back of her head. None of this felt right.

Then, her sense of smell began to perk up once again. It was her favorite type of smell. Lemons & oranges, the citrus scents always managed to calm her. She doesn't remember putting them on though. It felt strange to feel things.

Mustering all of the strength she could gather within herself, she practically pries her own eyes open - a warm, soft light blinding her for a brief moment. She can barely see anything. All she knows was that this was her room.

The blood slowly seeps into her arms, each sensation coming back. Even then, it still feels so heavy. Feels like she might need to regain their mobility again. If Kotone could pout, she would. More effort in a body that could barely give any... fun.

❝ Am I doing the right thing, Koto? ❞

Now that was a voice she could recognise. The words try to come out of her mouth but fall short of anything comprehensible. With all the willpower she can muster, she attempts to look towards the general direction from where she heard Sae's voice.

"I... certainly... hope... you are..." she manages to croak, the corners of her mouth curving upward as much as it can.

The tear doesn't go amiss. It is either a coincidence too rare to occur or... somehow, the other more plausible option is that her words are reaching the other. Gingerly, the pad of her thumb reaches to wipe the streak away. That warmth... it was once familiar. The first time she touched the soft flesh beneath her fingers, her heart skipped a beat. Nostalgia is a weapon that distorts reality. Familiarity tints everything in rose colour. It's as if they were younger — when they would study together and Kotone would inevitably fall asleep before she did; when she would simply just stroke every crease, every line, every dimple of her face as if to memorize her.

Yet, it's the very same nostalgia that reminds her how sickening this action is now. After all, what right does she have to touch her like this considering everything? Despite her heart's reluctance, she recoils her hand and tucks them into her pockets as a disciplinary measure.

A wry chuckle escapes. Alright, she'll do the talking.

❝ I've... done something I shouldn't... actually, I'm not so sure about that anymore. ❞ She begins, almost cautious in her delivery. This is her best bet — there chances of this room being bugged is close to nil, knowing Kirijou she wouldn't allow a gross invasion of her friend's privacy. Besides, knowing these people, even if they had footage they wouldn't turn her in.

❝ I... I helped the leader of the Phantom Thieves of all things to escape the interrogation room. I... I know. I know I've broken protocol but... I couldn't leave him there knowing what could happen to him. Perhaps, you've met him before... he's... he reminds me of me when I was his age. I hadn't felt that inclination for so long... but I saw him in the interrogation room. ❞

Sae sucks in a shuddering breath.

❝ The state I found him in... those bastards drugged him, and used other unsavoury interrogation tactics on him. He's a boy. No one should be treated like the way he was... even if he is the leader of the Phantom Thieves. In a day or so, media outlets will report on the leader being dead... but he's not. This means I've aided a fugitive evading punishment. I could lose my job if they find out but... some odd reason, I don't care anymore. I think... keeping him safe is a bigger priority for me than myself. ❞

Due to her reporting to the SIU director about receiving a calling card, they've put her on standby for the next two days. Thankfully, she won't be working today, considering her fatigue. In a way, this is a form of penance. To speak, as if she's in front of a confessional, naming every terrible deed she's done and awaiting her judgement. This purgatory, is an apt punishment for the time being — never knowing where she hangs on the balance or being fuelled with theories of speculation.

Sae closes her eyes briefly. They need to rest. She's shed tears for the first time in years. Just... briefly. Briefly is all she needs. The knock in the background goes unnoticed. Her neck's gone limp, head lolling to one side — it's almost as if discomfort doesn't affect her and she's simply content with getting any rest at all.

Nary a response from Kotone, the room still as silent as ever. Her chest rises & falls, an indication that for the moment she is fine. Perhaps the best indication they will get for a while. Gently, the door swings open. Aigis walks in with a few pillows & a blanket, an apologetic smile on her face.

"When... when this first happened, I was like you," her voice tries to be reassuring, but the concern fails to leave. "I sense that you're not in the mood for any conversation right now, so just listen to me," she carefully drapes the blanket over the tired prosecutor, setting the pillow to the side.

"She will probably be out for few weeks. I don't think she used as much energy as she did when she... first created the seal. Back then, it was a few months... It felt horrible. I feel like I should have done more. You weren't there during the Abyss of Time, but..." the android takes a deep breath, at this point she was more human than robot. A gentle reassurance that yes they have all changed. "You should have seen Yukari. She almost went insane, trying to steal the key from me to turn back time & save her from her fate. All of us love Kotone so so much."

Aigis grabs the chair to Kotone's computer desk, lifting it effortlessly and placing it beside Sae. Her palm splays against the broad of her back, reassuring rubs moving in circles as the blonde looks towards the wild card sleeping peacefully.

"But she has never loved someone so much as she loved you," her words are soft, emotions swirling with each syllable. "It makes me jealous in a way. Jealous, sad, angry... a whole range of emotions. The way you threw her to the side & ignored her. Yet, she has chosen to forgive you time & time again. She sees something in you that perhaps none of us really do. Because of her, I can't help but root for you."

Her eyes close, hands retracting to herself. Head tilting upwards, her nose inhales to fragrant smell of orange & lemons, Kotone's favorite scent to put in her diffuser. "It must be such a privilege to be loved by Kotone Shiomi."

Between the beat of her hand rapping on the door and the beat of the handle twisting, doubt begins to crawl onto her. It's a sickening reminder of all the damage she's caused — all the words she's subjected the other to hearing pour from her own lips. Aletheia is a cruel being. Every sensation, every thought, and every word uttered from her shadow's lips is seared into her memory. It's the truth of who she is. The truth of her desperation, her cruel, horrific self that she's spent all these years festering.

She shouldn't be here.

Kotone would forgive her, not because of anything in particular about Sae but because that's the type of person the wild card is... and Sae Niijima doesn't deserve her grace. Sinners must be punished, only then would the scales of justice be balanced. A knot forms at the base of her throat, airway feeling like they're closing up on herself.

She really shouldn't be here.

Panic rising in her chest. She's been so selfish. Once that fog cleared, she could see everything in its pristine, unadulterated form. It's clarity that she obtains — clarity on all of the sins she's committed for a cause she never believed in. In wanting to carry the burden by herself, needing to be the strong, independent caregiver she's grown accustomed to being... she ultimately became the burden she feared the most.

How could she unsee the sight of Makoto behind that mask crying over her shadow's limp, feeble form? How could she forget the ways her casual callousness drove her sister into the arms of the very people she once believed are the epitome of villainy guised as pious idealists?

Yet, as quickly as the thought of turning her heels and leaving come, it leaves the instant her eyes land onto... Aigis? Grateful that it's Aigis who isn't going to subject her to small talk or idle chatter about her life, the prosecutor simply nods as she cautiously follows the other inside.

Observant eyes can't help but to scan the surroundings — the pictures of halcyon days, of better days... days that she's missed out on. Pictures of the people she once knew. It's bittersweet. It's only Mitsuru that she occasionally speak to and even then, it's never about their past anymore. Pictures throughout the years in which Sae shut everyone out... her heart aches at the feeling, remembering how the last time she and Makoto took a photo together was during Golden Week of 2012.

When the door opens, her eyes widen — her pupils dilate, lips parting slightly to hold in a gasp she's suppressing. It's as if the air's been sucked out of her lungs, as if time is frozen in this very moment. This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. Everything in her wants to scream — is it lament? Is it regret? Is it the obsessive compulsive need for an answer? She doesn't know. Aigis speaks but Sae can barely hear her. Words sound like distorted vocalizations, only the sound of the machine clear as day, only the slow dripping of the IV louder than anything else.

Hand over her mouth, her legs give out the minute Aigis graciously give her some privacy. With her back slumped against the wall, she pulls her knees close, her forehead resting against them. That meticulously ironed pair of slacks scrunched up by the grip of her fingers as she chokes. She's too late. She's too late. She's too late.

"Excuses, child. Excuses." It's that voice again... Themis —no, Aletheia's; Themis sounded more severe, more factual whereas Aletheia's is... kind, like a guiding light. "You, the great sinner of envy and much, much more ought to confess like the rest of your fellow sinners! Confess not to the public but confess to yourself. You must first bear the pain of speaking truth to reality if you wish to repent."

Her head slowly lifts, the whites of her eyes bloodshot. They're glassy, pooling with the tears that don't know how to release themselves anymore. Tear ducts are too proud — no, too accustomed to sealing themselves rigid. Gradually, she begins to orient herself to the reality before her.

Does she dare to hope?

Does she dare to hope that Kotone would open her eyes again?

Would that be... selfish?

With what little strength she still has, she musters the energy to stand up and find a seat close to the other's bedside. If she must confess, then she must let it be earnest — confess despite the pain in her chest, confess despite the burgeoning guilt that might just eat her alive if left unchecked. Guilt, it's a powerful thing — it can drive a person to stay on the righteous path... it can also devour a person's sense of self wholly.

Reaching into her breast pocket, between her fingers holds the calling card she received only last night. A sinner of jealousy. How did she stoop so low? Everyone who received one of these cards ends up confessing their crimes, their misdeeds, and some, even their pain. She's read the calling card one too many times, pouring over every character as if that would've helped her find the Phantom Thieves then.

But amongst the ambition, the drive to ensure that Makoto never had to think about the harsh world... she grew envious of her. It's a life she wanted her sister to have and yet, through her unprocessed grief she channeled that resentment she once held for her father onto the little sister she regarded as her whole world.

❝ I.. I know you probably can't hear me and... that's okay. I think right now, I need to say it for myself... accept my crimes and my sins. I wanted to apologize for everything that's transpired. I've hurt you. I've hurt Makoto. I've hurt the people that I loved the most and wasn't even apologetic about it. ❞ She begins, her voice low and quiet as if speaking even a decibel louder would cause her words to fray, to break... as if she is an emotionally volatile bomb waiting to detonate. ❝ I was blinded by my resentment, and my ambition. I lost sight of myself and hurt everyone around me. For that, I am sorry. I do not expect forgiveness, and I doubt you're in any state to offer one right now. ❞

"Go on, child. There's more you'd like to say, isn't there?" The persona's voice echoes in a teasing lilt, as if trying to coax every word, every thought, every repressed emotion from Sae. If Sae could, she would've most certainly glared at the entity. "Do you not wish for your words to reach her? Is the love she holds for you not as clear as day? Reach in... use your heart, foolish Sae Niijima."

A shuddering breath is inhaled. Her movements tentative, gently brushing her fingertips against the other's. It's still warm... it feels familiar. Her gaze all but cowers. Allowing her heart to speak freely, allowing her feelings to be vocalized is something she finds immensely challenging.

❝ I know this is selfish... but you need to wake up. There are people who love you the way you should be loved waiting for you. There are people who care about you. I... I need you to hear from me that you're not the things my shadow said you were. You were... perfect — perfectly human: flawed, kind, and loving. Even when you were plunged into darkness, even when you were in pain... you still choose love. You still choose to be true to your heart. I have so much I need to say to you. Hear me out and if you want me to go, then I will. But you cannot fade away without knowing that I loved you, I always loved you... and I perhaps, will always love you. It wasn't nothing to me. So wake up, you fool — wake up and tell me to get lost. Isn't it illegal to make girls cry— ❞

Her words tremble. She hiccups. The fabric on her pants stained with droplets — her cheeks wet. For the first time since that day during Golden Week, she cries. This time, she couldn't hold back. Rubbing her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve, she screw her eyes shut. The fingers on Kotone's wrap around and gently grasp them.

❝ I-I'm sorry... ❞ she sniffles between wobbly words, as if another sob could break free any moment. ❝ Please... I'm sorry. I'll do anything. Just... Please... Kotone.❞

In the depths of the aetherial sea, she continues to float - the fine line between life & death ground familiar. It was funny. The first time she found herself here was on March 5th, 2009. It was the promise she gave to her friends that brought her so far. Then, a miracle. She rose from the dead, the consequences of such desires yet to have been manifested. Now?

Now, Kotone was here due to her love of a person despite their darkest tendrils piercing each vein in her heart. Love was such a fickle thing. It was an emotion she could give freely to anyone if she deemed so. Yet, she could not do the same for herself. The mere thought tore her at the seams. How could she even begin to love herself? The world has beaten & conditioned her to think otherwise. Everyone but her.

Thus, she deemed that she needed to save herself. She was still needed, after all. The seal was something she would not dare to break, no matter what - not even dare mess with. The noticeable absence of Philemon indicated that at the very least, nothing too serious was happening.

She didn't know if she deserved the rest. All she did was save one person. There were still so many people she needed to help! Though, as much as she willed herself to move she couldn't even find the strength to do so. If there was one thing she knew she was, she was exhausted. She said as much earlier, and it still continues until now. Rome wasn't built in a day, after all.

Amongst the painted sky, soft echoes reverberate. The voice of the woman she has loved and continues to love despite everything cries out for her. Crimson eyes groggily open to the starry canvas. She sobs and begs for forgiveness, and Kotone was all too knowing to immediately grant it. Her current state could not - would not be able to communicate with her. Her frail body has overexerted itself, and now continues to rejuvenate.

There were so many words she needed to say - thoughts she had to give. If their relationship could be salvaged, it would have to be on Kotone's terms. Kotone does not dare to leave her heart to be shattered a third time. However, the voice she hears feel much more nostalgic. It was as if she found herself in years prior. The care. It was slowly returning. It means that their operation was a success. For the first time in forever, the misty feeling in her eyes is not a product of self-hatred & sadness. It was of joy. People deserved a second chance. This was Sae's (maybe third in her case).

The monitor continues to beep - unchanging. The wild card's eyes are still shut, mind recuperating from the hell it has been put through. The difference was the sudden drops falling from her resting eyes. In the space they occupied, she laid motionless. The warmth in her body fails to leave, color slowly filling the paleness that was imbued onto her.

Silently, she prays. Prays for Sae to wait for her this time. The sun will shine again, but the moon must first glow. It was a promise, after all. She promised that she would always be there for her. She just needed to wait for now.

A knock.

"Niijima-san, are you there? Do you need any water?"

Prosecutor Sae Niijima steps out of the interrogation room. It felt like hundreds of hours she's been inside but in truth, it's only been less than three hours. The confines of these walls suffocate her — seeing how they interrogate their suspects firsthand disgusts her. She could've sworn she's grown desensitized to all the horrors, all the corruption... but for some reason, that glint in his eyes sparked something in her. It's not sympathy — no, she couldn't. He wouldn't want her pity. It was anger. Seeing that delirious state that Akira Kurusu was under, despite him spouting nonsense about his various irrelevant affairs... she felt her chest ache for someone in that chair for the first time in a long time.

She used to look at the world just like he does. If only she could save him. If only she isn't so feeble beneath the gavel of the courtroom, or the meticulous network of officials who puppeteer everyone in the system.

How much longer can she take this...?

Strange.

These aren't thoughts that have crossed her mind since the first time she heard the piercing scream of a wife separated from her husband, begging for the court to hear reason — it was the first time her hands were sullied by falsities. Echoes of her pleas haunted her for weeks. Every night she would awake to the same nightmare... then, when she naively brought up her concerns it was met with scoff and laughter. In her line of work, that was as good as a thinly veiled threat.

In that liminal space, time slows. It's the fresh recollection of watching Goro Akechi saunter towards the interrogation room — he... sold out his colleagues. That, she is certain of. A flash of his crimson mask in her mind's eye, then the sight of Makoto holding someone... her...? Makoto held her, Sae Niijima, in her own arms? A sharp ring, a blunt thud against her temples. It throbs, as if a migraine that extended from her brain down her spine.

Recall, everything.

That voice... she knows that voice. Themis. It's... her persona. She could feel something change, as if the two irreconcilable parts of her have accepted one another. Aletheia.

The black fog lifts. Haze gone. She recalls all. The casino, her shadow... the monstrosity she became, and... Kotone? There are questions she wants answers to and yet, knowing what's to come... her instincts urge her to return to the interrogation room. It's impulse that compels her to turn her heels and take wide strides down the oppressive halls. If she doesn't go back, he will die. There's no reason or rhyme to that feeling, just her intuition that gnaws at her.

When the door swings open, she can only describe how she feels as relief. Seeing that boy sitting there with a vaguely smug look on his face, as if he's been anticipating her presence. It doesn't take much initiative for her to offer to help him out of this hellscape. His entire bodyweight on her shoulders, she drags him out — it's nostalgic. She recalls that night in Tartarus when she carried another on her shoulders... the night she met Kotone.

Kotone...

Her hands grip tightly on the steering wheel of the vehicle she's gotten hold of. Adrenaline pumps through her veins — she helped a suspect escape. She's gone against the system. She did something illegal. It's pure panic that causes her to step on the gas pedal and make her way towards Yongen-Jaya. It's adrenaline that allows her to manage to leave Akira in the care of Sojirou Sakura.

It's the same adrenaline that causes her legs to run as far as they would take her. Despite the fatigue, despite the fact she's had less than four hours of sleep over the past two days... Sae keeps running until she stops at an unfamiliar address. As if some sort of sorcery, it was her sister of all people who sent it to her... Makoto... she's grown up. She had no choice but to grow up. Tired legs run up flights of stair. It's as if she's scared that should she stop moving, she would never move again.

If she stops, the trepidation would cause her to run away and evade her crimes. There's no choice but for her to seize what little courage she still have within herself — the same courage that allowed her to help the leader of the Phantom Thieves escape a fate of death or a holding cell.

Then, her mind goes blank the minute she knocks on the door.

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #long post #cw body talk #cw blood

"Was it worth it?"

An playful, ethereal voice pierces the painted sky, dark & glistening. It beckoned to a conversation she's had one a long time ago. Yet, instead of a familiar blue butterfly floating around - it's just her. Her from over half a decade ago. Her eyes still yet to be dimmed further, her muscles firm and toned. It was the life she once had.

It posed a good question. Was it worth it? Has she given up her life for something so... lesser? Following the love-induced frenzy she left herself in, the last she remembers is her tears staining the concrete rooftop her and her team stood on. Then, nothing but the blackness.

Her younger self floats around, a worn smile on her face. There, she still held the world. Halcyon days fleeting, memories in permanence. Her alternate's hands rest gently atop her cheeks, a silent prayer. In a holy silence, her forehead presses against the other's. It's warm - her skin still radiant & sun-kissed.

"You know the answer," Kotone breathes, eyes downtrodden. "I love humanity, despite everything. I'm humanity's act of rebellion against the horrors of this world."

"Of course I know the answer, silly. I am thou, thou art I. I feel like I needed to hear the answer from you though," her younger self quips, forehead leaving - crimson hues staring into hers.

"I... want her to be happy. With or without me. She just needed to be saved from herself," Kotone replies, struggling to keep eye contact.

"Who will save you?" her other self poses the question, a melancholy gaze piercing her.

Protecting the one woman she has ever loved has never been more important. She would bear the brunt of the world to give Sae a chance to change & sparkle once again - to show that despite the harshness of the world, justice can shine. If this was the catalyst needed for her to do so, then she has fulfilled her role as a messiah to the world. Her story has started love, and it continues to bloom with love.

The casino comes back to mind, the perversion of both herself & the image of justice at the forefront. If what Makoto said was true, then surely she would see Sae at least develop for the better. Even so, for her entire life, Kotone Shiomi has only ever relied on herself. She will crawl on the ground with her nails bleeding to survive. As a beacon for humanity, she does not have the luxury of allowing others to share the burden. They live lives that are far more productive - from a CEO, to a model, to role models for younger children. To her, the journey is solitary - an irony given the abundance of bonds to her. Reality's brutality has only corrupted such a vision, reinforcing that she needs to survive - living a privilege she has long lost.

"I... I can only save myself."

Barely a day has passed since the unofficial infiltration of her former teammate's palace. While their successors met their successors, Aigis had to flee with Kotone in her arms. It wasn't difficult. However, the emotions have begun to take a toll even on her. Seeing Kotone so catatonic reminded her of the horrible days following Mitsuru and Akihiko's graduation. Her vitals were barely registering, barely enough to keep her alive.

As soon as their operation finished, the android immediately informed the head of the Kirijo Group of the current situation. Within the next hour, her room has become a makeshift hospital room. The only instruction from the doctor following their near instant checks was that observation was needed. No person has exerted so much effort with personas before. At least, not since the seal was made.

It was then that she heard the door knock. Looking through the cameras, she sees one of the last people she expected to be there. At first, a flare of anger surges through her. Secondly, worry. Third, caution.

Sae was not there during the first time Kotone was out.

Nor was she there as her body began to slowly give out on her.

Yet, there she stood - outside the apartment. The panic and anxiety on her face was clear to see. This was the woman Kotone gave her everything to save. Judgement was not hers to rend, nor was she to be a keeper for her wildcard's feelings. She could only be the boatman to bring one shrouded in darkness back to light.

Yukari would not be so pragmatic - a rare instance where Aigis is a little glad she isn't here.

Twisting the doorknob open, the crystalline reflections meet carnelian hues. She immediately notices the dark hues that leave the prosecutor crestfallen. The sheer horror in her face - genuine remorse. It looks like she hasn't rested since the casino as well.

"You look horrible, Niijima-san," she gives a warranted tease, swinging the door wider to allow her in. "Don't apologise to me. I... Well, I feel you already know who you should direct it to. I need to warn you though," she pauses, a hardened look to shoulder the burden of feelings for the both of them this moment. "Kotone... she... I..." she struggles to find the words, instead reluctantly moving her eyes towards her room.

"Follow me."

Moving through the hallway, pictures of SEES throughout the years are adorned - from the Yasoinaba incident, to her college graduation, to her first year anniversary as a radio host. Memories that the entire group cherished dearly - ones that may never be replayed except in their minds.

Hesitantly pushing the door open to Kotone's room, a rhythmic beep steadily pulsing through it all. Her eyes are shut, her tattooed arm pierced with an IV drip. Not a single movement comes from her - a disturbing thought given her nature as a fireball to everyone she knows.

"Niijima-san, you... you weren't there the first time it happened. I don't blame you. I only resent the fact that you never had the courage to tell Kotone any of your troubles throughout the years. We were only ever witnesses to the aftermath of it all - and even then she barely shared anything following. I have to tell you that this might be the last chance you have."

After finishing the short piece she felt she needed to say, Aigis moves away - allowing the prosecutor privacy with her leader.

"You love, and love, and love. You don't expect anything in return. It's romantic, but also harsh," Kotone's other self speaks, once again floating around the Universe.

"It is," she bluntly replies. "I'm... I'm tired. I'm really tired."

"I'm not surprised, given the fact that you've essentially brought me to life," Elysium replies, a cheeky smile on her face. "You've found your answer again, Kotone. The past & present have come together and given birth to a future once thought unachievable. Now, rest. Rest for now - allow the world to sing a gentle lullaby for you. The sun will shine once again."

Her eyes struggle to stay awake - bubbles clouding her vision as darkness envelops her.

"No act of heroism is without reward - your will has given birth to one. You are not alone. You never are."

The beep continues its steady rhythm as the persona's parting words to her fade into a blur.

Leviathan is the inner demon of Sae Niijima. The manifestation of all the internalized torment of the prosecutor — an agent of the law she is, but the truth is she's been a marionette since the day she stepped within those offices. Always having her limbs pulled on, her hands forced to bloody themselves with the forgeries. This casino is her only sanctum in which she is free. This is her world. Her treasure wouldn't be within a location that anyone can reach. If the thieves wanted a show then she'll give them one. Decoys and forgeries are now her specialty — lies can spin into truths if she convince herself enough.

The monster within screams for freedom. Its maw yearning to be unhinged, its claws wishing to tear flesh asunder. Fiendish urges barely tether to this form — with each emotional resonance harnessed, the gold in her eyes only saturate further, the tattoo on her back glowing violently. How dare that girl speak to her like that! How dare she?!

A grimace flashes across the manager's face, as if lightning striking behind them — her eyes narrow into a menacing glower, a beastlike snarl from the shadow as its humanoid form begin to unravel alongside the fraying mental state of hers. Sae Niijima ask her? She never learned how to ask. She was the one who was always asked for favours. An ask would've been tantamount to a debt that she could never repay; an ask would've been a coercive measure to convince another to comply with her — it was always that deluded old man who asked her if she could buy groceries when she was barely ten because he couldn't be home. Then it was her supervisors using asks as a guise for coercive control — there was never an option to turn them down.

❝ Shutupshutupshutup... SHUT UP! You're not going to find the treasure. You think you can just come into my casino and do as you want?! No! This is MY world! I'm the only one who wins! I'm the only one who GETS to win! ❞ One hand raising into the air, an activation of mind charge into her palms. They can't steal her treasure. She wouldn't allow it. It's the only thing she has that's her's... it's the only way she can be free because otherwise she is no more than a puppet tethered to the silk strings of the puppeteers, a slave to the needs of others as what little life of her is whittled away day by day.

The megidolaon charges in her palms, she can feel the almighty power surge through her — it satiating, the taste is simply divine. It spreads through her finger tips, it gathers at the tips of her gloves. Power pools like a flurry, a storm of all the hate, loathing, resentment, and... love? For a second, the shadow falters and the brief moment of wavering is all it takes for the charged powers to momentarily dissipate.

Themis. That stubborn persona who's always been refusing the hunger for control of Leviathan.

❝ Stay out of this, false goddess of justice. ❞ A low warning to the unwelcomed, self righteous presence that still somehow lingers within. The Sae Niijima that was once unshakingly willing to face her sins, to let true justice prevail long died. The fragment of the former persona still clinging onto her, refusing to perish into the shadows. ❝ Aspirations? Goals? Hah! That so called justice that I once upheld is nothing but a falsity. When my father died in the line of duty, I hated his killer from the bottom of my heart. Dying to justice sounds virtuous, but the ones left behind have to clean up the mess! ❞

Frenzied power masses take shape in the form of blue embers, then flickering between gold, red, and black. It rises from beneath the shadow's soles. Clattering of the ball on the roulette wheel only grows more cacophonous, it bounces at a frenzied speed with each raw, unfiltered emotion that passes through.

❝ Ask you?! Hah! Kotone Shiomi, you have only ever seen the strong, confident, and capable Sae Niijima — you truly expect me to believe that you would've loved a weak, pathetic, and terrified version of that Sae Niijima you claim to have loved? You honestly think I never once thought about ASKING?! Now, enough of this chatter — how will you bet?! ❞

Amidst what feels like a whirlwind of power surging from her, a golden petal breaks free from the accessory on the brimmed hat. It drifts through the currents, towards the direction of the wildcard. As if the truth itself is drawn to the fields of Elysium, the lone petal manifests its form into the shape of a once familiar, yet empowered, traesto gem from the old days of traversing through Tartarus. Let me help you, one last time... Kotone. The echoes of Themis' powers, the last bit of its metaphorical divinity encapsulates itself into the stone and gently falls before the wildcard.

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #oofie ouchie

Each word was like a barb to her chest, a true unraveling of the mystery behind Sae Niijima. All this time, she was suffering from herself. Kotone doesn't know the amount of hatred the prosecutor carries for herself, but for it to manifest in such a grotesque way... it broke her heart. Yet, even so, she must carry on. The world turns, and the other will pay for her sins eventually.

The pain was insurmountable. After all, to see a person you cherish be so corrupted by their own ideals... the world was cruel. Yet, in turn she multiplied that cruelness. It posed the question to Kotone, would it have been right? Was it truly needed for survival? In a world where they never met, would she still have turned out the way she would, this time with no one to help her?

Such questions were meant for another day. Now was not the time nor place. They were racing against the clock, the sky pulsing red every so often. Alarms came and went, and they had to escape before the police began to show up. As the winds of paradise flow, she grasps the stone held before her.

"How nostalgic..." she thought to herself. It beckoned to their first meeting, running away from the Reaper. Time has weathered the two of them. It was almost as if she was looking into a mirror of her past life.

"Senpai... Are you okay? You aren't hurt, are you? I'm happy as long as you're safe. After all... It's against the law to make pretty girls sad," her thoughts hang in her mind. Just as she has saved her from the horrors of the Dark Hour, once again she has come to save Sae Niijima. This time, from herself.

Aigis rushes back to their side, eyes glowing blue. At the same time, Yu jolts in, a mark of thunder indicating the place he now stands. In his hand, he holds a notebook. Their faces are noticeably calm, the serene beckon of Elysium energising the two.

Holding her evoker to her temple, she grips the traesto gem firmly in her palm. With a wry smile, she can only pray that the will within resonates into a message of love and hope. It was what Sae needed, she thought. It would be cruel to leave her with a scathing remark. Thus, she breathes a kind message.

"Sae Niijima... Our road never ends. Follow your heart and move forward. Walk along the footprints of the memories we've made both as a couple and as a group. And in the end, I hope we transcend those trials and reach a future that was once impossible to us," she cries as she pulls the trigger, her eyes glowing crimson. Both Messiah and Elysium twirl together, hands clasped as they dance a holy sequence.

"I lo... Maybe I'll let the real you hear it one last time."

Flowers begin to sprout around the group as a pink beam of light fires from the two personas. Using the light has a distraction, she crushes the traesto gem - teleporting them towards a hidden rooftop far from the casino.

Their job was done. And now... it was time to wait for the Thieves to do their part.

"Kotone-senpai, you're going to feel a hell of a crash once we get out. You know that right?" Yu worries, his free hand scratching the back of his head as he speaks. "Maybe leave the notebook to me. Rise and Aigis can probably help you get home," he gives a gentle smile.

"I would be amenable to carrying her. Perhaps Rise-san could go along with you," Aigis giggles, Orgia mode powering down as she continues to speak.

"Yeah! I would love to meet blondie! She looks so good! I bet she'd make a good star! I wonder what she thinks about fire alarms..." Rise chimes in, excitement practically bubbling from her.

Yet, as the group speaks, Kotone can only feel the tears streaming down her face. She doesn't even bother to hide it anymore, letting soft sobs come out - her palm covering her face as she does so. The three embrace her, covering her as she silently wails in sadness. The physical fallout of using so much power was expected, but no one thinks about the emotional fallout.

And it hurts.

A frenzied glow of eyes hueing with gold. It flickers, it surges with energy at the flurry of emotions before her. Leviathan lives for this frenzy. Unlike the shadow, people are blinded by their emotions. They are enslaved by them, ashamed of them — the shadow have no such turmoil.

❝ That you did. ❞ The shadow taunts, a cheshire grin ever so present on her ebon lips. Where Sae Niijima is attentive, observant, and meticulous — Leviathan weaponizes what she can. Her words can be as soothing, as gentle and tenderly if it means coaxing her mark ... but it too can bare razor sharp fangs and torturously devour another.

❝ Then tell me — where were you when he died? His death was broadcasted all over the country for WEEKS and not ONCE were you there! If that was everything then your everything was pathetic. You were never there. You were only there when I was put together. You want to blame me for falling out of contact? Have you ever once considered using that pretty little mind of yours and think maybe I needed you to show up? I didn't have the privilege of grieving. I had to clean up his mess. I had to become the guardian of my little sister. I was ALONE! I loathe your hypocritical magnanimity, your selfishness guised as a virtue. ❞

Taunting words that are meant to weaponize Sae Niijima's grief, pain, and the thoughts she is the most ashamed of turn into raw emotion. If the shadow is all aspects Sae repressed, then Leviathan too, is not immune to the decades worth of emotions that the prosecutor have bottled within. Black flames rise from the soles of her stilettos. Golden eyes glowering, flickering in its luminosity. With ease, she leaps backwards as a roulette board emerges and Leviathan stands at the centre of it all. This is their battlefield. Fingers snap, a crisp sound reverberating throughout the chamber — a series of numbers flash on the big screen, seemingly there for the participants to place their bets; surrounding the centre screen are six smaller ones, focussing on the faces of each member in combat.

❝ Considering this is your first time playing at my establishment. Think of it as an act of generosity for even entertaining you. Allow me to explain the rules~! ❞ A transparent barrier erects itself between her and the others. A sensible navigator would immediately be able to tell that it is an enhanced version of both tetrakarn and makarakarn — any attempt to directly attack her will be reflected. A chuckle, following by the clap of her hands the wheel spins. ❝ Now, let's play a game. The stakes... is our lives. You will predict where the ball will land.❞

Her eyes never once bothering looking at the rest of the teammates. They track Kotone's every move, watching the birth of a new persona — it's all useless. It's so useless here. Soon, she will see. The shadow will revel in breaking her spirit, will rejoice when she finally submit to the whims of the palace ruler. This is her world after all. There is only one winner and that is her.

❝ Don't even think about attacking when the game is in session — that is, unless, you like being punished. ❞ At the snap of her fingers, the ball drops and begins to move around the circumference of the wheel. This will keep her entertained until the Phantom Thieves show their pathetic faces. Perhaps, it would even serve as a cautionary tale to those children with lofty and grandiose ideals. ❝ Now, how will you bet? ❞

#truthprevail #kotone rp #v - universal rebellion #harold theyre going through it

As the screen comes to life, Kotone finds herself in an eerily familiar situation - October 4th, 2009. Again, there were stakes, again the bet was life, and once again... any potential chance at a normal life flew away from her at an instant. After all, when all the hatred has left you, what do you have left? She doesn't want to bet on life anymore. She's had enough of gambling fate on the passage of time.

"Our fight isn't with you. I... have faith. Faith in our successors. Please. Just let me through and give us your treasure! Let us steal your heart!" Kotone pleads, her naginata pointed.

"Careful Koto-senpai, the result's obviously gonna be rigged! Keep your guard up!" Rise warns, worry in her voice.

"I can distract her. Aigis, find a way to get rid of that roulette for us. Yu, sneak for the treasure," she silently replies, looking towards the two other wildcards.

Quickly, the other two disperse - using the spotlight on her to their advantage. It began adding up. The distance... the pain... all the change. As much as Kotone would have loved to blame herself for not asking Sae how she was - how could she? The woman barely shared her feelings. Even if she were to ask, would she have deflected? She would have given her the world, but she crushed it instead.

"Don't blame me for this! I... You know I tried. I always asked, but you never listened! You never shared a thing. Not a goddamn thing. You act as if I don't have a life of my own too! I can't... I can't read your mind, Sae. It's not fair."

With a deep breath, she shakes her head. The life she led now... everything that has happened in the past decade... it all comes to this. Gone are her days of saving humanity, that torch has been passed twice over. Now, it was time to save herself for once. Selfishness swarms her, as all she wants is that nice life - free from strife. It didn't have to be perfect. It just had to try to be.

"Please end this madness now. I loved it when you stood for something. Now... you're just a liar. What happened to those aspirations? Your goals? You didn't have to sacrifice everything, Sae! Damn it, all you had to do was ASK! Fucking ask! You complain about not having anyone back then, but you did! You just never FUCKING ASKED!" she screams, anguish appearing in each word as finally she realises what happened. The full picture began to piece together.

"Kotone, there's a thin layer of glass above the roulette. Want me to break it?" Aigis' comms come up, buzzing in her ear.

"No, no. We're here as distractions. We can't mess with the Thieves mission. Let's wait for Yu to grab the treasure then head out. This is world changing, but nothing new for us, right?" she giggles silently.

"That's for sure," she replies.

"So STOP IT! Sae Niijima, I love you! Stop this!" at this point, she knows her words fall on deaf ears. All she could do now was buy time for Yu so they can make their grand escape since the Thieves could be here any minute. "Meet me as you. Tell me everything. Please."

do u guys like my new phone screen i spent time fixing errythinnnn

#愛—ooc

❝ Play with your feelings? ❞ The shadow coos, her words coaxed in a veil of mockery. The grin on her face remains one of a predatory nature. Slowly, she tilts the other's chin, the piercing gold eyes indulging in every detail of the visage she was once so fond of. ❝ Aww, that's not very nice of you. After all, it was you who played with my feelings. You couldn't possibly not have known that I've always loved you — yes, even back then. You should've left me alone but instead you made me love you. You really ought to learn how to take responsibility, Koto~ ❞

Once she was named Themis, the very embodiment of justice herself. Vincit omnia veritas, truth conquers all things — it was once a belief that she held onto so ardently but the corrosion of her hands, the corruption of her other self's mind with poisonous thoughts of the truth being a narrative tool and that truth doesn't exist. Now, she stands as a shadow. The only truth here is her truth. The only justice present is her justice. Themis long died. This is a husk of the former persona. This is Leviathan, the sinner of envy; the embodiment of a funeral pyre — if she can't have her freedom, her ideals... then no one else can. It's just the way how the game works.

If Sae Niijima is confident, then Leviathan is arrogant. If Sae Niijima is cautious, then Leviathan is a schemer. Leviathan is a shadow, the purest, the most unfiltered, unadulterated version of Sae Niijima. Beneath the meticulously crafted veneer is a chasm of emotions. It's a storm that rages on in Sae's heart, and it's a storm that she's grown accustomed to simply neglect. Leviathan will entertain no such notion. This casino is her playground. She is the ruler, she is the sovereign who reigns over those poor fools who never cease to gamble away their entire life's earning with the foolish notion of hoping that they could win — hope, such a tease; such a deceitful thing.

This ragtag group of wildcards are not the people the shadow wants to face — no, she wishes to face that so called Joker of the Phantom Thieves and wipe that smug, hopeful, idealistic expression off his face... oh, how she will revel in his defeat! Oh how she would laugh as the last bit of hope he has is whittled down to the bone, with nothing left but despair. Despite having the upper hand in her own domain, the shadow is cautious with this group — a sentient weapon, her cousin, her lover, and an idol...

❝ It would be quite the shame for us to fight, now wouldn't it? After all, all of this could be yours! ❞ Arms gesture to the opulent, lavishly adorned golden walls around them. ❝ You have no idea how long I've wanted you, do you? Of course you don't — I was chained by shame but no longer am I its prisoner. ❞ She leans in, her lips barely a whisper away. ❝ Do you know how many times I've pretended that another woman I fucked was you? I know you feel the same. I love you and you love me — must we continue to fight one another? ❞

No, it's not Kotone that she wants to fight. It's those pompous thieves that had the audacity to send her one of those calling cards. Besides, what's more interesting than watching all of them squirm at the words she boldly speak out loud? Wild cards are unpredictable, it's in their names and yet, words can sow seeds of doubt and discomfort. Words, are a stronger arsenal than brute force when wielded with precision and skill.