Haha @s0urgr8pes - Tumblr Blog

Since no one reads this I will ramble. i hate how you left, I hate the way you left and I hate how you didn’t even talk to me. I hate you. I hate that you’re stupidly stuck in my head. I hate that I’m here and you’re there. I hate everything. I hate that I definitely cared way more than you ever did.

#fuckhashtags #rant

I feel like all the lights inside of me have been extinguished.

February 2022: planning my wedding.

February 2023: planning a funeral.

I didn’t imagine things going like this.

#what is going on #confusing

churchofllohan-blog

lindsay lohan’s new tattoo really speaks to me <3

the-hope-of-a-new-day

meganspublished

whoviandoodler

People talk about how disassociating is distressing and yeah, in the beginning it is, and sometimes that can still happen, but when you've been consistently disassociating for years you get used to it and it just gets... sad.

You go out with your friend and you play and chat and laugh, but you can never quite feel that it's really happening, never quite achieve 'having fun'.

You cuddle with your pet and you wanna feel like you're there and be present and enjoy what's supposed to be a really cute, pleasant time, but you just... can't.

You sit in a beautiful garden or forest and you want so badly to immerse yourself in nature and the feeling of being close to it, but it never happens.

It feels like you keep missing out on life even when you're doing things that are exciting or fun. No achievement or win is ever truly satisfying, because no matter how much you feel, there's always a layer between you and your happiness that says 'none of this is real' that you can't puncture.

i disassociated and now i can’t sleep