Just a vent account @s1llyvents - Tumblr Blog

I dunno whats up with me lately, counting all my attempts would be 3, i think maybe if i do end up attempting again this week- i think i have everything,, i hope i dont fail again

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #tw sui ideation #cw sui mention #attempting #tw sui attempt #I also relapsed today #Guess the math teacher calling me out for literally giving a fucking pencil to my classmate was enough to break me #im weak

honestly idk what to think abt myself anymore. Also tw fresh cuts

Ignore ugly ass pants

I wont tag anyone so they dont have to deal with my bullshit

Update: It stingsss ough i didnt disinfectate it

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #tw cvt #$h vent #i need support #i need comfort #at least today

i want to be a kid again. But i know that isnt possible for me.

I want to be innocent again. But i know that isnt possible for me.

I want to look at the mirror and feel happy. But i know that isnt possible for me.

i wish my curiosity hadn't doomed me to eternal disgust in myself and to hypersexuality.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #age dreaming #tw hypersexual #cw hypersexuality #Ik there might be some grammar errors in there but idc #Tbh idk

..

I dont really know how to express this. But i have this one friend of mine that saved me from suicide when i was barely feeling alive anymore. She helped me when i was on my worst. And she was THERE for me. Like- irl. She would hug me when i wasnt feeling well, we would ocassionally have tkl fights too! She made me feel like the light at the end of the tunnel was here. But something changed. She has to move away. Actually. She moved away, and now im alone all over again. No one to hug. No one to invite to my birthday. And im going to sink again because im alone. We still talk but it isnt the same.

I cant live without her.

@undead-crackhead

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #personal vent #i need comfort #Please

my life is a movie and im on the credits

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent tw #vent post #tw sui implied #cw sui implied

First day of vacation and i already cried once??? Wth?? I didnt let them see tho. I cant let them see. Not again.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #personal vent #not doing great

Looking at mirrors but not understanding what you are looking at

#polykin #tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #nonhuman #therian vent #deer therian #cat therian #Ghostkin #angelkin #otherkin vent #species dysphoria

I kinda feel like tearing off my skin. This isnt my body. It doesnt feel right.. im supposed to be at a forest. Fleeing to escape what seems danger. A doe. Thats what im supposed to be or was, but im stuck here. In a human body im tired of being in. Im tearing off my hair.. chunk by chunk. I cant seem to stop myself. Id rather die of exhaustion that be here.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #therian vent #deer therian #Does tearing off my hair count as sh?#Maybe it does..#ill tag it anyway #$h mention

every day it starts the same, i wake up late.. i go take a shower, i dress up. Go to the couch. I get called for lunch, i eat. I go to the couch and spend all my day there. It gets late. I eat dinner while sitting on the couch, it gets even more late. I brush my teeth [if i have the energy..], i go to sleep then the cycle repeats. At least it'll break tomorrow. Just for a day..

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #personal vent #Stupid couch #I dont even know what the word couch means anymore to me.#Maybe im just a lazy ass

why was i even crying? Wasnt it what i always wanted? I found the way. I have the "rope", theres a hanger.. and i can get on top of my bed for enough height. Its done.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #im gonna do it

just sitting there while my irl parents fat shame my irl sis while they think its funny af [its not.]

#honestly idk #tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #My irl mom rn is pointing out one of my irl sister's insecurities #okay nvm my irl sister is fat shaming my irl dad now #This family is sick af #i think im gonna die in this house

mhm..

was walking around my house today (kinda bored) when i noticed there was a screw that wasnt in place correctly, but i kinda calculated that it was not loose enough to fall. Now im only missing the damn rope. Its finally going to be over soon.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #cw sui mention #tw sui ideation #cw sui ideation #cw sui thoughts #tw sui vent #Not a joke #Although the cameras are kinda in my way..

My arms hurt from scratching them so much.

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #$h mention #$h vent #tw $h implied #tw $h

Hi. Tw:$h, manipulation. Etc..

Just wanted to speak abt one of my "friends".. so.. lets call her A.

I met her this year, we didnt know alot abt eachother other than the fact we were both friends with another person, which we will call FG. A seemed pretty kind at first, so we befriended eachother rapidly! Everything was going well! Until.. she started to seem pretty manipulative. I thought that maybe she didn't mean to do that. She would manipulate me with telling me that my friends were ignoring me, forgetting me or excluding me. And that we should run away from them.I just didn't know what to say so i just said ok and tried to move on. I guess.. she did that multiple times. The incident happened some weeks ago when she randomly got very mad at my friends, she said that they were calling her rude and stuff (which was true, we tried to show her something funny and she just responded in a mean tone saying that she didn't find it funny, which is completely fine. Not all people have the same humor. But i dont think the mean tone was necessary) days later my friends [FG, FF and IL] didn't come, i was alone with V and A, i hanged out with V until her mom showed up to pick her up, okay, my mom was gonna get me too so it was fine! I think. I got into class and A waved at me. She sat at my side and for some time everything was fine.. But for some reason she showed me her sh scars..? Pretty confusing to me as we werent talking abt that at all, she started making jokes abt her scars and just stopped after some time.. ok then. I relapsed sh when i got home but at least it was all over now since it was the last day at school this year. But now i cant stop thinking if it was my fault or hers. Maybe im exaggerating and she just was in the right or wtv..

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #personal vent #$h mention #tw $h implied #Tw $h #tw manipulation

Oh shoot... my sister saw my sh scars.. oh no no no no no no no no i know she wont forget no no no no i can't let them see again no no no no no no they are going to scream at me for it i know it no no no no no no no no no please no ill stop i swear i swear ill stop ill stop ill stop

#tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #vent tw #$h mention #$h vent

why does this keep happening. Since he died i can't do anything but wait for that stupid meowing at the damn window.. i can hear a cat meowing so i run but theres no one there. Why? Even tho i thought i had let go i just proved myself wrong by crying because he's gone. I guess that ill be left all alone no matter what i do.. so ashamed of the fact i cannot stay atleast one day clean.. my irl mom saw my sh cuts. Hopefully she forgot.

#Im talking abt a cat btw #tw vent #vent #cw vent #vent post #personal vent #vent tw #tw $h implied #$h mention #Grief #dealing with grief #pet loss #Is it stupid for me to be so sad over him..?

sillyslumberontop12

tw/cw: Swearing/cursing, all caps, self hate, panic attack mention.

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FUCK THIS SHIT I HATE MYSELF AND ALL OF MY LIFE I HATE IT I HATE IT

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