You're not broken. You're not a bad person. It's not your fault that you have these thoughts. I don't think any less of you for them. I really don't. They're just thoughts, they don't define you, and you don't want them anyways.
"i've had sexual thoughts about my family." It's not your fault.
"I've had sexual thoughts about animals" It's not your fault.
"I've had sexual thoughts about you" I don't care. It's not your fault.
Part: 1 Part: 3 Part:4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 A/N
Summary: A self aware!AU with Caleb and NonMC! reader.
Tags: Caleb x reader, Caleb x NonMC! reader, Caleb x fem!reader, Stressedout!reader. Hypersexual!reader
Trigger warnings: Masturbation, Mentions of slight sexual themes? Disgust in response to said sexual themes?
Word Count: 1k
Inspired by: @ittybittyfanblog
A/N: Hi, first of all, thanks for all the support. I really appreciate each and everyone of you. The only thing that I want to keep constant with my reader or Non!Mc is that she is hypersexual.
Hypersexuality: It is referred to as compulsive sexual behavior or sex addiction, It's an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that can't be controlled.
I wanted my reader to be hypersexual because I feel like this is still a hush topic even in safe spaces for people who are suffering from mental illness. Hypersexuality is often a trauma response from the brain of kids who were groomed, S/Aed or just got the unfiltered internet access at a young age and saw things that they shouldn't. If you don't feel comfortable with reading it, it's alright. You can just scroll past that part and I will make sure it's not too long or too frequent but it will be present. Hope you enjoy!!
"The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure he never knows he's in prison"
"-Fyodor Dostoevsky"
Silence, finally. Sweet, calm silence. You never knew how much you appreciate silence until the screeching loudness of your alarm blared throughout the room.
God.., when did you even set an alarm? You were sure you had made to turn off all your alarms a few days ago. Ugh.. You slowly opened your eyes. Wanting to stop that annoying noise and sleep a little more.
But the dryness in your mouth was probably a good reminder to wake up and drink some water. You really didn't need the hassle of going to a doctor because of dehydration. Your hand reaching out to pick up your phone and shutting the damn alarm off.
The noise you let out when you finally got off the bed was between a whine and a groan. Rubbing your eyes, you walked inside the kitchen. Pouring yourself a glass of water. You took a sip- the cold liquid flowing in your mouth and down your parched throat.
Quickly finishing the glass of water, pouring yourself one more. The liquid dripped down your chin with how quickly you were drinking it. Like a man dying of thirst in the middle of a desert.
You panted slightly, pulling a glass away from your lips, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Wow, that felt so much better.. Your mom would taunt you to death if she saw you like this. Maybe you should start taking care of yourself.. But first, you should make some breakfast- now that you thought about it.., did you have dinner last night?
Opening your fridge, you were greeted with a sad sight, there was almost nothing inside except a few slices of bread, two eggs and a few vegetables along with a little more than half a carton of milk.
That was more than enough for you to feed yourself today- maybe you should ask your parents for money, stock up the fridge. Yeah, maybe.. they had insisted to pay for your expenses even after it had been a struggle to convince them that you could live on your own.
Taking out the eggs and vegetables, you placed them on the kitchen counter. Running the tap water to wash the vegetables. "I can make an omelet, it'll be quick an easy," You thought, letting out a small hum. It did get lonely living alone..
Closing the tap of water, you walked over to your room, picking up your phone and unlocking it. "Omelet.. omelet.. hmm" You muttered, scrolling through your phone, opening youtube. One of the first few videos you saw was an omelet tutorial. Wow. Isn't that awfully convenient? Oh well, doesn't matter.
It didn't take long for you to make the omelet, it was actually pretty good. Much better than any omelet you've made before. You still had to shower, clean up your apartment, clean the dishes, do the laundry. That was a lot of work but well, you can do all that.. slowly.
Time passed and before you knew it, it was afternoon. With a sigh, you laid down in your bed. All that work was unsurprisingly exhausting. But you had actually gotten things done, isn't that great? You deserved a pat on the back.
You scrolled through your phone- tumblr, reddit, youtube.. but there was nothing new, nothing interesting. You felt bored.., you felt empty. One of your hands slipping in between your thighs, tapping against the fabric of your sweatpants. The urge had been there all day to just.. feel good.
You really didn't feel like doing it.., you had just showered, changed your clothes, done laundry. But it would feel so good..
You shouldn't..
It would feel amazing though.
And that rush of dopamine would feel so great.
But..
It'll be quick.. just once?
You'll stop after one orgasm.
Yeah, just once. Sure.. just once- it always started with just once. You couldn't help the disgust blooming in your stomach as you shoved your stained sheets and sweatpants in the washing machine.
This was gross and so were you. The high felt good.., it felt so so good. But when it was over- the feeling of nausea and disgust was enough to make you feel repulsive.
Getting yourself off wasn't a bad thing.. once, twice even three times a day wasn't bad but fuck, when you started you couldn't just stop. What the hell was wrong with you?
What sort of guy would ever like a girl like you? ..Why did that even matter, who cares what sort of guy would like you. You were really loosing your mind, it was just a matter of time before you cracked, you were sure.
You sniffled, blinking away the tears that were starting to form. No. You were not going to cry over this. You wanted to do something else, anything else to stop this train of thought. Picking up your phone, you opened Love and Deepspace.
Running back to him, just like a dog. You always did run back to him for comfort ever since you first saw Caleb after installing this game. Replaying the few and far scenes he had when he first appeared in the game. Who cares what sort of guy would like you? Caleb would.. he'd like you- no matter how you were, right? He'd adore you like he adored the MC right?
Yeah, like it mattered how a fictional character made of pixels in a otome game thought of you. As if it mattered more than how actual people did. You really were insane.
But does that matter, if he loves you?
When the game finally loaded up, Caleb looked different. Worried.. That frown on his face which you found so adorable, his eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at you. As if he cared..
"Why are you looking at me like that, Caleb?" You said, talking to yourself in your empty room, not being able to help the smile that graced your face when you saw him. But it wasn't as bright as usual.., rather tired.
"I worry about you, you know..?" Caleb said with a sigh, looking at you with a hand on his hips. His words felt like he was replying back to you. Was that a new line? You didn't see anything about a new update.. How strange but you really had no complaints.
Caleb walked closer to the screen, reaching his hand out like every other time when he patted the MC's head. And like a fool, you almost leaned your head forward. Like you could actually feel his touch, his warmth. Oh, the things you'd do for him to be real..
You smiled at his concern, your eyes glued to the screen, running over his worried face. "I'll be fine, pretty boy" You muttered, as if he could hear you.
I'll be fine.., as long as you are with me.
Tag list: @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @aneertawrites @etsuniiru @demon-master-zero @angstylittleb1tch @mcdepressed290 @ittybittyfanblog @winwinwrites @alifyairl @huhleighna @calebsbeanpeeler @bookworrm1999
Hello!! Can I request dating hcs of Rex x hypersexual!reader? With him helping them heal from their trauma and fear (and longing) of intimacy and being touched? Thank you, i love the way you write fics 🫶🫶
Thanks baby😘
This is based on my own experience with hypersexuality and the topics you described
Rex Sloan X Hypersexual!Gn!Reader
I think Rex is also hypersexual, or at least has some tendencies, so he'd understand a lot. I also think he would learn more about himself while trying to help you
He knows how sometimes your mind is buzzing with bad thoughts and stress, and the only thing that seems to calm it is by thinking about sex, especially when you're trying to sleep and just can't
He knows sometimes sex feels like the solution to all problems
And that hipersexuality is a problem because it’s prejudicial to your life, in the sense that maybe you're trying to focus on something else, like studying, working, or a hobby, but your mind just. Won't. Stop.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
But he's still learning to think before talking, and he just came to terms with the fact that he's actually very empathic
So he might ask how you feel and what you're thinking from time to time, and what do you think that made you be hypersexual
He doesn't want you to commit the same mistakes he did, so he makes sure your sexual dynamic with each other is very healthy, obnoxiously healthy, to the point that it's even funny how he’ll just stop in the middle of it to ask “do you want it or do you enthusiastically want it?” with the most serious expression, one it's even weird to see on him, because he's just so goofy
Because if the bar is high enough, you never will accept anything less, just like people with healthy families usually don't accept other people treating them like shit
He's scared shitless that he’ll accidentally or indirectly hurt you, either because he didn't make sure how you felt, or because you were too good at pretending
He's ruined so many good things before, he doesn't want to do it anymore
You might have intrusive thoughts, like really, intrusive thoughts. Not the ones most people are used to like “what if I threw my phone out of the window?”, but the real ones. If you have it you know what I’m talking about.
I’m not sure he has them, because if you have them, you probably hide them, but he surprises you when he takes it seriously, not just thinking you're a freak, or a creep, or a weirdo. He understands right away they're not something you want, you don't condone those actions, you think they're the worst thing the could happen, and yet, your mind is so broken that it throws those thoughts at you, trying to make you hate yourself, and it might even work, and Rex makes sure you know it's not your fault, it's just a mental illness, there's nothing wrong with you, it's common, just talk to him baby, talking will make you feel better
He also becomes clingy, even performing PDA if you're into that. Just because your mind is thinking about all the different sexual scenarios you could do, doesn't mean you want sex, half the time you just want to be held, kissed and feel important. Just receive some attention and love. And he’ll enjoy doing that
Especially in the beginning of your relationship, he understands you might be confused on how to proceed, overthinking, and you might even try to distance yourself from him
Jokes on you, he's not gonna let that happen
I mean, see how his relationship with Rae started on the 3rd season, bro really worked for her
If he didn't like you as much, he would give up, honestly. Rex from the 1st and 2nd season would just offer himself to be your booty call
If you're touch starved, he understands that maybe you feel insecure about that, that the simple act of holding hands and rubbing your thumb on someone’s skin just isn’t second nature to you, isn't your first instinct, when you do it, you're actively thinking about it, afraid to move and disturb the peace, or make him stop touching you
Like one of those videos of abused animals who freak out at the simple mention of someone getting close to them, and when someone does, they need several minutes to get used to it
He won't judge you for maybe being somewhat socially awkward on that aspect, he actually likes that you aren't used to just throwing yourself at anyone who gives you crumbs of attention, and ruining yourself in the process, almost like he did. It's not worth it, it's humiliating, it changes you so much that you can't recognize yourself in the end
It takes some time, but you get used to having him clinging to you at all and random moments of the day
He wants your first time together to be especial, and when you truly want it, so he doesn't even takes the first step, you have to do it
I see you just sleeping in the same bed, fully clothed, every night, for several weeks (even months, if that's your thing), before actually having sex
Doesn't mean he won't make out with you, when you're comfortable with that. And he tries not to be the old him that would just grab your ass right away, instead, Rex learns that he likes to just… Explore
He squeezes your waist, he touches your hair, your scalp, he breathes your scent. He rounds his arms around you and just has nice, quiet conversations. He lays his head on your chest, stomach and lap, closes his eyes, and his mind is suddenly empty, while you take initiative and run your fingers through his ginger locks. He holds your hand when he takes you out
He spoils you, he was never the type of guy to do that, he liked being spoiled instead
Now, he just thinks he needed to meet the right person
He cooks, it's not good, but he's trying to impress and make you happy
He learns your hobbies, and spends quality time with you. You have to know he's not with you just for sex, just for your body, your mind is just as sexy to him babygurl~ (in a gn way)
He shows you his home magazines and you talk about your future home together, despite how surreal it feels, how impossible it seems, how scary, not only to you, but also him. But he wants this. He finally has something good. A purpose in life
And even if you express some negative thought, he’s surprisingly good at comforting and reassuring, on his own unserious and abrasive way
TW: I'm talking about hypersexuality and the reality of it. If it bothers you DNI, and I'd rather my younger followers not interact either.
I keep seeing tiktoks of those "revealing my family's sexualities" and I've seen like 4 where the creator has a hypersexual flag in theirs.
HYPERSEXUALITY ISN'T A FUCKING SEXUALITY YOU CAN IDENTIFY AS.
IT'S A DISORDER. IT'S AN ADDICTION. IT ISN'T A PART OF YOUR "qUiRkY wEiRd cOrE" BULLSHIT.
IT IS A RESULT OF BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED/ASSAULTED, A RESULT OF EXPOSED TO SEXUAL MEDIA AT AN IMPRESSIONABLE AGE.
Hypersexuality has been turned into just another "trend". The moment people like me finally feel safe and comfortable to open up about it, suddenly, EVERYONES HYPERSEXUAL.
NO. YOU AREN'T.
MASTURBATING ONCE AND WHILE DOESN'T MAKE YOU HYPERSEXUAL. HAVING CRUSHES ON A LOT PEOPLE DOESN'T MAKE YOU HYPERSEXUAL. WEARING REVEALING CLOTHING DOESN'T MAKE YOU HYPERSEXUAL.
STOP TURNING DISORDERS/ADDICTIONS INTO TRENDS. IT'S NOT ANYTHING FUN. IT SUCKS.
Imagine being in school and you just can't fucking resist to look around you imagine what would happen if one of your classmates or a staff member, or hell, even about your own fucking family, decided they wanted to fuck you. And now imagine how you feel aroused, but also terrified, and disgusting into one giant emotional rollercoaster.
Yeah sounds fucking disgusting doesn't it? Now imagine having thoughts like that damn near 24/7.
