Imagine R going through rehab and sort of disappearing for a while to get his stuff together and Enj realising he misses him and also the amis kind of start drifting because it turns out R's presence there meant something to each of them
But it's ok because life eventually brings them together again and Enj is decided to not let R get away this time but R interprets it to mean "useless drunk = no Enj / useful member of society = Enj's presence" and it makes him panic that faltering would make Enjolras despise him again and also that as a person he has no value other than how much he can contribute to the Cause















