😰

[sad-bitch-hours]

-So, then would it work to just call it abuse? Not adding any label - but just say that "parental unit F" abused me with (actions /words / etc).

Because if once doesnt make a claim that the abuser is a narc - then the brigadiers cant call anyone out for a made up charge, right ?

--Seemingly there is only one group of people who would be pleased by us not labeling our experiences as narcissistic abuse, I don't care much to please such a group. It's also such a stupid statement because the abuse itself is called narcissistic abuse as a category and collection of types of abuse perpetuated by individuals with personality disorders. It's not meant to say anyone diagnosed will certainly behave that way

---So, too simple - and that`s i think my conflict avoiding side talking.

You are correct - why coddle abusers and enablers .. Still have lots of learning (and unlearning) to do ..

[sad-bitch-hours]

I think it important to acknowledge that narcissism isn't inherently abusive, but the word also doesn't say it is. Like domestic abuse doesnt say that all domestic situations are abusive, just that this abuse is unique because it is domestic.

[sad-bitch-hours]

Narcissistic personality disorder

Dsm-IV Criteria

Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable, expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.

That can be seen in the way they expect people to comply with their definition of narc abuse being regular abuse and that ur ableist for saying otherwise



[sad-bitch-hours]

I think it’s a term that encapsulates a specific form of abuse.

Based on the particular thread you referenced and at first impression, it comes across to me as playing damage control regarding others’ negative perceptions of them.

I get it—no one wants to be thought of badly or negatively. That said, abuse is abuse, whether specifically called narcissistic or not. Call it whatever; changing the label doesn’t erase the abuse. It’s a clever way to minimize and generalize it, though.

[sad-bitch-hours]

I think narc abuse is a perfectly valid term. Narcissists aren’t disabled. They function perfectly well in society. They know their actions hurt others and don’t care. Regardless, the term narcissistic abuse describes a particular abusive behavior perpetrated by narcissists and leaves a specific type of damage on the victim. The cause for abusive behavior shouldn’t matter. It’s always unacceptable, and narcissists are know for being abusive

[sad-bitch-hours]

Narcissistic personality disorder

Dsm-IV Criteria

Has a grandiose sense of self importance (e.g. expected to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

So this is the one that should tell u that u r not the authority on npd. You are not the authority on narcissism. You are not the authority on ABUSE.

YOU ARE NOT THE AUTHORITY ON ABLEISM

YOU ARE NOT THE AUTHORITY ON NARC ABUSE

You have no achievements that show u r the authority on any subject having to do with narcissism.

[sad-bitch-hours]

I hear you. I'm pretty torn about this, because part of me want to believe half of the movement is genuine in the sense that it's an effort to encourage seeking treatment through positive reinforcement (rehabilitative society) for those who recognize their abusive behaviours, and another part of me believes it's also hijacked by narcissists who want to appear like they are one of the good guys so they could get away with it, without having any intention to not abuse people. I definitely can see my parent doing this lol. Maybe there's always that risk in any movement. I just wish disclaimers are more common because those who intend to hijack for their gain will definitely avoid any mention about caring for the abused.

[sad-bitch-hours]

Telling abuse survivors to use words like selfish instead of narcissistic minimizes their severe trauma, invalidates their lived reality, and places an unfair burden on them to manage their abuser's image.

Why the Shift is Harmful

Minimizes the Harm: Words like "selfish" describe normal human flaws, but narcissistic abuse involves deep manipulation, control, and lack of empathy.

Blames the Victim: It implies the survivor is exaggerating or using harsh labels, which makes them doubt their own memory and feelings.

Protects the Abuser: It softens the reality of abuse so that other people feel more comfortable, ignoring the actual danger the survivor faced.

Delays Healing: Survivors need accurate terms to understand what happened; downplaying it slows down their recovery.

I’d love to hear actual debate on this. NOTE: ableist is not going to shut me up, I will debate whether I’m ableist.

I am not putting npd people over survivors.

[sad-bitch-hours]

I have had this levelled at me before. I found it extremely upsetting because understanding my mother's NPD (and BPD) was instrumental in my healing.

When I eventually got someone with those beliefs to engage with me sincerely, they said that the concern was 'armchair diagnosing' of narcissists was creating further stigma towards people with actual NPD. When I mentioned that my mum was actually diagnosed, they kind of went, 'oh. Ok then.'

My takeaway from that discussion is that the people who are really aggressively defending the narcissists in this situation, are people who completely lack nuance. They also can't understand that they are actually talking to human beings (i.e. us) who have experienced something awful and are looking for a way to understand and heal. They've picked up a cause and decided to defend it no matter what. Therefore, no contradiction is valid, even if that leads to them silencing abuse survivors.

I do sympathise with what they're saying to an extent. My sister has been diagnosed with BPD and she puts a lot of energy into healing and trying to be a good person. People with BPD are stigmatised as being abusive, similarly to people with NPD. I don't believe that narcissists are inherently abusive. I believe it is theoretically possible for a non-abusive person with NPD to exist. But I also think it is valid for abuse survivors to share our experiences, especially if it helps with our healing.

Also, everyone I know who has experienced narcissistic abuse absolutely agrees it is a separate subset of abuse. Anyone who says it's not has never experienced abuse from a narcissist. I think that says it all.

[sad-bitch-hours]

I’m just going to be blunt here. It’s fine to acknowledge that not all people with cluster B PDs are abusive, but this specific narrative comes across as enabling. Cluster B personality disorders in particular are usually just as externally damaging as their are internally, if not more so. People with personality disorders do deserve help, but any treatment requires the person to acknowledge how people view them and how they are harming others or the treatment will fail. Denying the existence of narcissistic abuse runs counter to this, and is a great way to keep narcissists from becoming self aware or seeking treatment. Not to mention that it’s the perfect weapon for abusers to use. The harm that could be done by trying to get rid of the term and shame people who use it greatly outweighs any effects on narcissists’ feelings

[sad-bitch-hours]

You are never obligated to accommodate abuse, even if the abuse ties back to a mental illnesses or disability. Understanding their struggle and acknowledging the label does not obligated you to be friends if you are being damaged by the friendship.

[sad-bitch-hours]

People with cluster B disorders are shockingly sheltered within Internet spaces, including narcissists. For some reason people believe that if there's a mental health condition, that there is no accountability to be had whatsoever, and they are very aggressive about denying the possibility that people even can get hurt by them, physically or mentally or emotionally or socially, despite those often being the direct consequence or even defining traits of those disorders.

People will stand behind and throw themselves upon the most repulsive, disgusting, controlling, domineering, manipulative, hateful, toxic individuals, and crucify any decent person that tries to look after themselves and maintain a modicum of dignity and respect, or who deviate from being absolutely positively perfect even once in a minor way because they don't have mind-reading powers and the magical ability to see a perfect picture of other people's past to be "in the know" about matters that honestly don't concern them.

People often like loud, invasive, boorish, oppressive individuals, while those who walk and talk in quiet confidence, civility, and honesty end up drawing the short straw in those circles. And people will weaponize therapy speak and positivity language in order to justify their sociopathy, and expect others to put up with their actions while experiencing no consequences whatsoever.

It's a sad state of affairs. And the big irony is that those circles will claim they're prioritizing independence and liberty, that they are "free spirits" "like the wind", when really they just want to use and hurt people and be socially and emotionally volatile as they see fit without any regard for others' well being, or any remorse or apology for any harm done, because they've decided it's within their rights and they don't owe anyone, anything, ever.

[sad-bitch-hours]

Narcissistic abuse is a term coined by psychologists speaking to victims of abuse who all described a similar experience.

Separate from emotional abuse, which tends to be inflicted by people who cannot control their behavior either due to chronic alcoholism, drug use, or mental disorders, narcissistic abuse is done for different reasons.

People with high levels of narcissistic traits function off a fragile ego, meaning that they need some form of external validation to feel okay, to escape the chronic emptiness that they feel inside. This validation can come from people, from faux online activism or charitable-ness, it can even come from things like cars or wealth.

...

But yes. We're going to deny victims the ability to have an accurate term just because some unqualified, untrained people on the internet did a simple Google search and decided that a term created by psychologists for victims of a unique form of abuse is ableist. It is not "some" people with NPD abuse others. All of them have. It's in the diagnostic criteria as I've discussed before. You have to have interpersonal issues caused by your condition in order to get diagnosed. There is no such thing as someone with true, pathological NPD that has not harmed another person in an abusive, exploitative way. NPD ≠ Narcissism. Many don't realize this but narcissism is a descriptor in the same way agreeableness, extroversion, and conscientiousness are.

[sad-bitch-hours]

It is not ableist to call somebody who has NPD a narcissist. NPD is not a disability.

-Yep. People get confused or willfully conflate them bc it’s under behavioral health, but NPD is not a disability, and narcissistic abuse often targets or worsens other people’s actual mental health issues or disabilities.

[sad-bitch-hours]

Narcissists shouldn’t be allowed to accuse anyone of ableism because of the disease and symptoms that narcissists experience skew their perception and it’s in bad faith that they want every single person alive to listen AND believe them.

[met-gala-tournament]

Round 1 - 2026 (Costume Art / Fashion is Art) - Match 66 of 128

Lily-Rose Depp (Chanel), left

No explanation found.

vs. Heidi Klum (Mike Marino), right

"I love fashion, I love art, and I especially love when the two collide. For this year’s Met Gala, Mike Marino transformed fabric into sculpture, manipulating latex and spandex with extraordinary precision to mirror the stillness, delicacy, and illusion of carved marble. Inspired by the timeless beauty of Veiled Vestal by Raffaelle Monti, this look blurs the line between fashion and fine art. A piece of fashion art, reimagined in motion. Every fold, every contour, every detail is intentional, capturing both strength and softness in a way that feels almost impossible. A one-of-a-kind design that doesn’t just dress the body, but elevates it into art itself." ""There was one sculpture… called 'The Veiled Virgin' or 'The Veiled Vestal' by Raffaelle Monti. We both thought it was perfect," Marino said of the inspiration for the eventual look, referencing Monti's famed 1847 sculpture, which is a marble depiction of an Ancient Roman Vestal Virgin. A press release about Klum's look from media company Full Picture added that the costume was also inspired by the marble "Veiled Christ" tomb effigy, carved by by Giuseppe Sanmartino and completed in 1753. "Heidi will be a living version of a sculpture right at the steps of the most amazing museum of New York and one of the most amazing museums in the world," Marino said in the video. The makeup artist said that bringing Klum's look to life began with a 3D scan of the model's entire body. Then, based on the scan, the design team began to sculpt all aspects of the statue, including the folds of the fabric and more. A press release states that materials used for Klum's look included latex and spandex, which helped capture "the stillness and presence of marble while allowing for movement and life within the form." Marino said several of the methods they used to bring Klum's look to life involved some of the same methods that many classical artists employed when working with materials like bronze or marble, only with advanced materials and technology." (x)(x)

Whose outfit was better?

Lily-Rose Depp

Heidi Klum

Voting ended onJul 19

[shewhoworshipscarlin]

Slip, 1920-30.